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1
00:00:02,185 --> 00:00:04,185
(FINGERS SNAPPING RHYTHMICALLY)
2
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,295
♪ They're creepy
and they're kooky
3
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:21,253
♪ Mysterious and spooky
4
00:00:21,305 --> 00:00:23,305
♪ They're altogether ooky
5
00:00:23,373 --> 00:00:27,309
♪ The Addams family
♪ The house is a museum
6
00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:29,311
♪ When people come to see 'em
7
00:00:29,380 --> 00:00:31,363
♪ They really are a scream
8
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:33,098
♪ The Addams family
9
00:00:34,351 --> 00:00:35,567
MAN: Neat.
10
00:00:36,187 --> 00:00:37,319
Sweet.
11
00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:41,239
Petite.
12
00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:43,257
♪ So get a witch's shawl on
13
00:00:43,326 --> 00:00:45,246
♪ A broomstick you can crawl on
14
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:47,146
♪ We're gonna pay a call on
15
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,865
♪ The Addams family ♪
16
00:01:05,348 --> 00:01:06,381
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
17
00:01:06,449 --> 00:01:07,499
We're off!
18
00:01:08,852 --> 00:01:10,502
(SIGHING)
19
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,570
Morticia, why are
you sitting there?
20
00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,005
I'm all dressed.
21
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,619
Lurch is waiting outside
in the car. We're all set.
22
00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:18,555
We are? But this is the night
we look forward to all year.
23
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,779
The night the bats
come back to Capistrano.
24
00:01:21,732 --> 00:01:23,665
Give them my regards.
25
00:01:23,734 --> 00:01:25,634
Dear, this is our
great fun night.
26
00:01:26,570 --> 00:01:27,603
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
27
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:28,871
Listen.
28
00:01:29,473 --> 00:01:30,639
Fun, fun, fun.
29
00:01:30,708 --> 00:01:32,385
There's more to
life than just fun.
30
00:01:32,409 --> 00:01:34,142
There is?
31
00:01:34,211 --> 00:01:36,322
A person must contribute
something to the world.
32
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,547
I contribute plenty. Have
you seen my tax bills?
33
00:01:38,616 --> 00:01:40,496
Darling, you don't understand.
34
00:01:40,551 --> 00:01:42,671
I want to do something creative.
35
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,085
My dear, you are creative.
36
00:01:44,154 --> 00:01:46,254
You are a creative
mother, a creative cook.
37
00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:48,189
And above all, a creative lover.
38
00:01:48,258 --> 00:01:50,003
Pish-tosh. What
does that all add up to?
39
00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:53,378
I'll tell you what it all adds up
to. It adds up to la dolce vita.
40
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,879
Not bad, eh?
41
00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:58,199
Gomez, listen to me, a life
must have some fulfillment.
42
00:01:58,268 --> 00:01:59,912
I want to do something artistic,
43
00:01:59,936 --> 00:02:01,870
that the world will remember.
44
00:02:01,938 --> 00:02:06,441
Life is not all lovely thorns
and singing vultures, you know.
45
00:02:06,509 --> 00:02:09,288
You could develop a new strain
of henbane, like Luther Burbank.
46
00:02:09,312 --> 00:02:11,857
Take some grapes and
cross them with poison oak.
47
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:14,149
No, darling, I'm tired
of breeding plants.
48
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:17,769
Look, I crossed daffodils
with roses, and what did I get?
49
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:18,971
More petals.
50
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,372
Dress designer.
51
00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:22,774
No one knows more about
fashion than you, my dear.
52
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:27,412
Oh, sweet Gomez. But am I not
more than merely a seamstress?
53
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,731
Yes, yes, it should
be something big,
54
00:02:29,799 --> 00:02:32,984
like Madame
Curie, Louis Pasteur,
55
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,620
Bluebeard, Michelangelo.
56
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,722
Michelangelo, that's it.
57
00:02:37,774 --> 00:02:40,108
He was a painter,
and then a sculptor.
58
00:02:40,176 --> 00:02:42,878
I am a painter, and
now... That's right!
59
00:02:42,946 --> 00:02:44,473
All you need is a
hammer and chisel.
60
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:45,580
And a rock.
61
00:02:45,649 --> 00:02:47,159
Oh, I can hardly
wait to get started.
62
00:02:47,183 --> 00:02:48,317
Neither can I.
63
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:49,568
Ready?
64
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:50,918
(GRUNTING)
65
00:02:51,888 --> 00:02:53,054
Lurch?
66
00:02:57,728 --> 00:02:58,860
(GROANS)
67
00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:13,174
Right this way, Lurch. Good man.
68
00:03:13,243 --> 00:03:15,744
Good... Careful on the steps.
69
00:03:15,813 --> 00:03:17,813
That's it. Right over here, now.
70
00:03:20,084 --> 00:03:23,004
Don't drop it or Mrs. Addams will
have her studio in the basement.
71
00:03:23,821 --> 00:03:24,953
There we are.
72
00:03:25,756 --> 00:03:27,188
Thank you, Lurch.
73
00:03:27,257 --> 00:03:28,457
(COUGHS)
74
00:03:28,492 --> 00:03:29,992
(GROANS)
75
00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:32,427
Fester, have you got
the hammer and chisel?
76
00:03:32,496 --> 00:03:34,608
Here they are,
but it's only a loan.
77
00:03:34,632 --> 00:03:36,632
I need them for my
correspondence course.
78
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:38,233
Correspondence course? In what?
79
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:39,768
Brain surgery.
80
00:03:43,607 --> 00:03:44,806
Where is the discus?
81
00:03:44,875 --> 00:03:46,091
(TAPPING)
82
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,613
Ah, thank you, Thing.
83
00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:14,052
Ready, querida.
84
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,825
Oh, it's gorgeous.
85
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:23,161
Rock, rock, beautiful rock.
86
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,596
I got it for you myself,
87
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,065
knowing that only you
could do justice to it.
88
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,267
I think I'll do an abstract.
89
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:31,414
Well, then we'll get Cousin
Vague to pose for you.
90
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,182
He's about as
abstract as you can get.
91
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,741
Oh, no, darling.
For an abstract,
92
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:39,077
I'm going to do it right
out of my own little head.
93
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,747
Now, sponge.
94
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,081
Sponge.
95
00:04:47,237 --> 00:04:48,957
Hammer. Hammer.
96
00:04:49,673 --> 00:04:51,393
Chisel. Chisel.
97
00:04:57,514 --> 00:04:58,814
(EXCLAIMS)
98
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,582
Already, I feel like
a different woman.
99
00:05:00,650 --> 00:05:01,817
Querida.
100
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,656
By george, Morticia,
101
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:27,992
what wonders you've
accomplished in a short three months.
102
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,662
It does have a
certain je ne sais quoi.
103
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,534
Tish, that's French. You
know it drives me wild.
104
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,902
Darling, you almost made
me ruin my masterpiece.
105
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,437
Oh, sorry.
106
00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:42,023
Now, then.
107
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,559
I'm right in the
middle of that left eye.
108
00:05:45,895 --> 00:05:47,595
Perfect!
109
00:05:47,664 --> 00:05:49,464
No, that was the whole eye.
110
00:05:50,233 --> 00:05:51,833
Luckily, he has three.
111
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,555
Come and get it. Lunch break.
112
00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,741
When are you gonna start?
113
00:05:59,809 --> 00:06:00,908
Start?
114
00:06:00,977 --> 00:06:02,544
Uncle Fester, I'm
almost finished.
115
00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:03,756
Fester, don't be a clod.
116
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,375
Don't you know
art when you see it?
117
00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:06,881
I know a rock when I see it.
118
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,201
Oh, it was ever thus.
119
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:12,170
Beauty is in the
eye of the beholder.
120
00:06:13,557 --> 00:06:15,518
Perhaps you're
standing too close.
121
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,542
Yes, why don't
you back up a bit.
122
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:24,082
How's it now?
123
00:06:28,371 --> 00:06:30,154
Well? Well...
124
00:06:40,384 --> 00:06:42,667
Hey, from here it looks great.
125
00:06:51,094 --> 00:06:54,278
Well, darling,
what do you think?
126
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:58,382
Leonardo da Vinci never
did anything like that.
127
00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:01,552
Oh, I wonder what
Mr. Bosley Swain will say.
128
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:04,822
Being the city's leading art
critic, what else can he say, but...
129
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:06,191
(GRUNTING)
130
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:11,763
Just a moment, Bosley.
131
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,472
If you have any
suggestions, speak up.
132
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:17,318
Well, as a matter of fact,
I, I do have a suggestion.
133
00:07:17,387 --> 00:07:20,821
Bore a hole in it, put in
a few sticks of dynamite
134
00:07:20,890 --> 00:07:22,924
and blow it sky-high.
135
00:07:22,992 --> 00:07:24,792
Is that your final word?
136
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,894
No, I have one more.
137
00:07:26,963 --> 00:07:28,229
Goodbye.
138
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:40,975
(GROANING)
139
00:07:42,645 --> 00:07:44,846
Darling, what did Mr. Swain say?
140
00:07:44,915 --> 00:07:47,015
He was too overcome
with emotion to discuss it,
141
00:07:47,084 --> 00:07:49,150
but he did show
a lot of feeling.
142
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:52,087
That's a most
wonderful compliment.
143
00:07:52,155 --> 00:07:55,907
My, you are a nervous one today.
144
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:59,076
Why don't you just tell
Morticia she's a flop?
145
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,856
And break her
fragile little heart?
146
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,558
What do you take me for, Fester?
147
00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:04,215
A Rasputin?
148
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:07,786
We must convince her
somehow that statue's a success.
149
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:10,466
Somebody must be
interested enough to buy it.
150
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,990
All right, I'll buy it.
151
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:15,059
No, I haven't got a dime.
152
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,862
Why don't you buy it?
153
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,644
For a stupid suggestion, Fester,
154
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,401
that's positively brilliant.
155
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:26,438
I'll hire some broken-down
art-dealer to buy it.
156
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,073
I'll put up the money,
Morticia will be delighted,
157
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:32,138
the money goes back in the
bank, and everybody's happy.
158
00:08:32,162 --> 00:08:35,196
For a brilliant idea,
that's pretty stupid.
159
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,898
Where're you gonna
find an art dealer
160
00:08:36,967 --> 00:08:39,100
that's crummy enough
to do a thing like that?
161
00:08:39,169 --> 00:08:41,002
Simple, I'll hire Sam Picasso,
162
00:08:41,071 --> 00:08:42,951
the crummiest art
dealer in America.
163
00:08:45,208 --> 00:08:46,874
Shapeless mess?
164
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,643
Look deeper, that's an abstract.
165
00:08:48,712 --> 00:08:50,044
That...
166
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:53,281
I have seen better abstract
made by a chain gang.
167
00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:56,351
I'm not asking you to
criticize it, Picasso, just buy it.
168
00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:58,152
Not even with your money.
169
00:08:58,221 --> 00:08:59,454
Don't you understand?
170
00:08:59,523 --> 00:09:02,089
I will not sell my soul.
171
00:09:03,827 --> 00:09:05,593
There'll be a $200 fee.
172
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,646
At those prices...
173
00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:13,262
I like a man with integrity.
174
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,552
I wish I knew one.
175
00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:24,128
Now, there's your $200.
176
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:28,933
Plus $50,000 to buy the statue.
177
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:35,773
You keep all of your
money in the drawer?
178
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,042
Just petty cash.
179
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,711
Big stuff's upstairs
in the mattress.
180
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:43,915
Ah, Mr. Picasso, my husband's
been telling me about you.
181
00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:47,452
That's a lie. I run
an honest gallery.
182
00:09:47,521 --> 00:09:49,732
My dear, Mr. Picasso
was just telling me
183
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,956
how much he likes your statue.
184
00:09:52,391 --> 00:09:54,308
Oh?
185
00:09:54,377 --> 00:09:57,645
Ah, yes, "A thing of
beauty is a joy forever."
186
00:09:57,713 --> 00:09:58,979
That's Keats.
187
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:03,518
Now tell me, how much
do you like my statue?
188
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:12,369
Picasso, start with a
reasonable offer, or the deal's off.
189
00:10:13,796 --> 00:10:15,112
That's an idea.
190
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,351
Come back here and
face this like a man.
191
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:23,221
My dear, Mr. Picasso has
just had a change of heart.
192
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,190
He remembers
he has a rich buyer.
193
00:10:25,242 --> 00:10:28,676
Undoubtedly a man
of exquisite taste.
194
00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:31,379
All right, let's get it settled.
195
00:10:31,447 --> 00:10:34,816
All right, uh, $50,000?
196
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,918
That's a nice round figure.
197
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:38,235
It's a steal.
198
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,504
Petty larceny.
199
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:41,806
Your money, senora.
200
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:42,890
Thank you.
201
00:10:43,593 --> 00:10:45,393
Please excuse me.
202
00:10:45,462 --> 00:10:46,660
Adios.
203
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,333
What's going on in here?
204
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:54,435
Morticia just sold her statue.
205
00:10:54,504 --> 00:10:56,404
Well, how about that?
206
00:10:56,473 --> 00:10:58,513
Yes, and now I'll
have to name it.
207
00:10:59,175 --> 00:11:01,075
Let's see...
208
00:11:01,144 --> 00:11:05,646
I think I'll call it
Miracle of the Ages.
209
00:11:05,715 --> 00:11:07,815
Like from the Stone Ages.
210
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,450
Well, I'll take the
$50,000, my dear.
211
00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:11,352
That mattress could
use a little stuffing.
212
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:15,189
Oh, no, darling, I earned this
money with my own hands.
213
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:18,304
And I'm going to use it to
help aspiring artists like myself.
214
00:11:18,328 --> 00:11:19,627
Morticia, that's ridiculous!
215
00:11:19,695 --> 00:11:22,030
I mean, uh, you're not
gonna give them $50,000?
216
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,764
Why, of course not.
217
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:26,000
This is just the
first installment.
218
00:11:26,069 --> 00:11:28,369
From now on, every penny I make
219
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,704
goes to help
starving art students.
220
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:32,907
Darling.
221
00:11:35,211 --> 00:11:37,812
What are you gonna
do now, moneybags?
222
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,181
What any level-headed
man would do.
223
00:11:40,250 --> 00:11:41,733
Shoot myself.
224
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,623
Clatsworthy, you're
my business manager.
225
00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:55,567
Of course you can speak freely.
226
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,350
Well, not that freely.
227
00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,631
So my bank account's
overdrawn. Who cares?
228
00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:03,154
It makes my wife happy.
229
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:06,057
It makes the bank unhappy?
230
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,004
I'll just have to raise
some more cash.
231
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:10,540
But I'll tell you one thing,
Clatsworthy. I'm changing banks.
232
00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,845
I don't like dealing
with spoilsports.
233
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,749
I'll say one thing
about Morticia,
234
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,934
she's got drive and
she's quite a chiseler.
235
00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:18,914
Enough to drive
me to bankruptcy.
236
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:21,984
I'm being forced to dispose of
some of my most valuable assets.
237
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:24,242
My game preserve in Nairobi.
238
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,811
Bamboo plantation in Bali.
239
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,412
What hurts most of all,
240
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:31,249
a savings and loan in Siberia.
241
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,928
You'd better call
Blooker the broker
242
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,864
and have him dispose
of my Consolidated Fuzz.
243
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,254
You know, if you were smart,
244
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:38,222
you'd hold on to your
Consolidated Fuzz
245
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,556
and sell your AT&T.
246
00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:41,637
It's not just the prices
she's getting from Picasso,
247
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:43,773
it's the cost of all that rock.
248
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:46,530
What's that thing she's
making in there now?
249
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:47,848
(METALLIC CLANKING)
250
00:12:49,452 --> 00:12:52,812
Can't you tell? It's
the head of a dinosaur.
251
00:12:56,326 --> 00:12:57,592
Or is it the foot?
252
00:12:57,660 --> 00:12:58,859
How many has she sold?
253
00:12:58,928 --> 00:13:00,228
I've lost count.
254
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:25,169
(WHISTLES)
255
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,539
(FOGHORN SOUNDING)
256
00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:35,179
You broke it.
257
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:36,747
(STUTTERING)
258
00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:40,834
Mr. Picasso?
259
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,803
Well, of course.
260
00:13:42,872 --> 00:13:44,838
You were expecting some bum?
261
00:13:48,678 --> 00:13:50,794
Follow me.
262
00:13:59,989 --> 00:14:02,023
And if you will behave yourself,
263
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,442
I might give you a very big tip.
264
00:14:05,328 --> 00:14:06,661
(GROANING)
265
00:14:08,298 --> 00:14:10,215
Ah, Mr. Picasso.
266
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:12,884
You're just in time to
view my latest work.
267
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:15,019
Senora, I can hardly wait.
268
00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:17,721
I call it Motherhood.
269
00:14:22,178 --> 00:14:23,344
Why not?
270
00:14:23,412 --> 00:14:24,862
When this will be displayed,
271
00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:27,331
all the mothers in the
world will be after you...
272
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,467
A-A-After it.
273
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,747
Oh, then you think
it's worth something?
274
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:34,689
$30,000 if it's worth a nickel.
275
00:14:34,757 --> 00:14:37,575
I just won't sell it for
more than $2,000.
276
00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:39,963
I have finished several others.
277
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:46,945
(STUTTERING)
278
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:50,138
Then for this one I
will give you $40,000.
279
00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:53,068
Not a penny more than $3,000.
280
00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:55,909
I call this My Afternoon
of an Evening.
281
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:59,413
I couldn't bear to part
with it for less than $45,000.
282
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:00,831
It's a bargain.
283
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,980
Those starving artists must
be eating better than I am.
284
00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:09,707
And this is my
master masterpiece.
285
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:13,811
I call it World War II.
286
00:15:21,804 --> 00:15:22,970
$80,000?
287
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,223
$75,000.
288
00:15:26,476 --> 00:15:29,527
How about that?
You saved $5,000.
289
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:30,795
Phew!
290
00:15:39,655 --> 00:15:41,333
Throw them in the
truck with the others.
291
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:42,534
Where are you taking them?
292
00:15:42,558 --> 00:15:44,025
The Tip Top Quarry.
293
00:15:44,093 --> 00:15:45,993
You know they pay me $30 a ton.
294
00:15:46,062 --> 00:15:47,461
Those scoundrels!
295
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:51,065
I buy my rocks at Tip Top
and they charge me $100 a ton.
296
00:15:51,134 --> 00:15:53,034
But I return the rocks damaged.
297
00:15:53,102 --> 00:15:56,370
Speaking of money, Senor Gomez,
you know, I will be needing some,
298
00:15:56,439 --> 00:15:59,373
if you want me to buy
more of the masterpieces.
299
00:16:04,147 --> 00:16:05,379
Can't you bargain a little?
300
00:16:05,448 --> 00:16:06,925
You want me to insult an artist?
301
00:16:06,949 --> 00:16:08,527
That's no artist,
that's my wife.
302
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:09,650
It's only money.
303
00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:10,784
Adios.
304
00:16:16,526 --> 00:16:20,060
Well, Gomez, so far
you're batting zero.
305
00:16:20,129 --> 00:16:21,473
Never mind my batting average,
306
00:16:21,497 --> 00:16:24,064
it's my bank balance
that's falling so fast.
307
00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:25,644
It's time I put
an end to all this.
308
00:16:25,668 --> 00:16:27,201
You're gonna tell
Morticia the truth?
309
00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:28,502
Exactly.
310
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:33,674
But first I'm gonna
tell her a few more lies.
311
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,937
Do hurry, Lurch. I
must get back to work.
312
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,039
Yes, Mrs. Addams.
313
00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:53,378
You're a very
good grinder, Lurch,
314
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,012
almost as good as Mama.
315
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,115
(GROANING)
316
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:01,985
Dear Mama. Her
great-great-great-grandmother
317
00:17:02,009 --> 00:17:03,921
sharpened guillotines.
318
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:07,425
Dear old
Great-Great-Grandmother Slice.
319
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:09,694
The belle of the
French Revolution.
320
00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:10,995
Cara mia.
321
00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:12,675
Oh, Gomez, you're just in time.
322
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,810
May I, dear? Anything.
323
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,166
(TINKLING)
324
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,239
Well, back to work.
325
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:23,674
Morticia, wait.
326
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,476
Wait? When art is calling?
327
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:28,395
Well, you can't keep
up this mad pace.
328
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:30,192
Look at yourself in the mirror.
329
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,984
Pale, wan, sunken-cheeked.
330
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:37,905
Yes, sculpting
does agree with me.
331
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:41,575
Querida, believe me, you're
working yourself to death.
332
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:44,444
Ah, well, then, my
prices will go up.
333
00:17:44,513 --> 00:17:47,447
Look at it another way.
You're flooding the market.
334
00:17:47,516 --> 00:17:49,917
Darling, Mr. Picasso
doesn't seem to think so.
335
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:52,119
He keeps paying bigger
and bigger prices everyday.
336
00:17:52,188 --> 00:17:54,366
Even he's going to run out
of money sooner or later,
337
00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:56,234
and a lot sooner than later.
338
00:17:56,258 --> 00:17:57,858
You worry too much, bubele.
339
00:17:57,927 --> 00:17:59,404
But the way
things are going, I...
340
00:17:59,428 --> 00:18:01,062
Gomez, I called you bubele.
341
00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:04,498
Oh, yes. Still drives me wild.
342
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:10,037
Darling, chisel
now. Bubele later.
343
00:18:14,693 --> 00:18:16,872
Lurch, have you
ever been on relief?
344
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:18,095
(LURCH GROANING)
345
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,138
Ruined?
346
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:32,076
No, not if we make
you a one-armed thinker.
347
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:40,151
Just... Just sort of
put it behind your back.
348
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:45,889
Yes, that's much better.
349
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,627
Oh, dear.
350
00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:58,429
Um...
351
00:19:07,530 --> 00:19:08,713
May I?
352
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:14,752
(GROANING)
353
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,022
Yes, that's much better.
354
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:28,533
Now, I just have to remove that
piece of thumb from your chin.
355
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,996
I think I got a bit too much.
356
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:46,950
May I?
357
00:19:57,747 --> 00:19:59,730
It just keeps improving.
358
00:20:06,055 --> 00:20:09,589
Now, hold still while I
give it the final touch.
359
00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:21,535
Lurch, I think I've
really hit on something.
360
00:20:26,008 --> 00:20:28,408
Good night, Mrs. Addams.
361
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:30,861
Oh.
362
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:32,629
Well, good night, Lurch.
363
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:34,818
We'll work on it
again in the morning.
364
00:20:38,221 --> 00:20:40,854
Morticia, it's 3:00
in the morning.
365
00:20:40,923 --> 00:20:42,873
Wonderful.
366
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:45,182
I still have four
hours of nightlight left.
367
00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:46,911
But aren't you coming to bed?
368
00:20:46,980 --> 00:20:48,824
Oh, darling, how can I sleep
369
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:51,060
knowing that somewhere
there's a stone uncut.
370
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,850
How about a husband uncuddled?
371
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:54,318
Noble Gomez.
372
00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:56,131
It's not like you
to think of yourself
373
00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:57,700
when I'm in the
throes of creation.
374
00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,056
But the whole house has changed!
375
00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:00,590
We never dance anymore, or...
376
00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:02,170
Well, dance, darling.
Go right ahead,
377
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:03,505
dance to your heart's content.
378
00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:06,997
Alone? Querida... Why
don't you call Mama?
379
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:09,333
She's always ready for an
old-fashioned cha-cha-cha.
380
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:10,600
With all these rocks around,
381
00:21:10,669 --> 00:21:12,386
there's not even room for a cha.
382
00:21:12,454 --> 00:21:14,532
Darling, you're right.
I have been selfish.
383
00:21:14,556 --> 00:21:16,290
You mean you're
gonna give up sculpting?
384
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:17,758
Oh, nonsense.
385
00:21:17,826 --> 00:21:19,326
Since I'm crowding you here,
386
00:21:19,395 --> 00:21:21,528
I'm going to find
myself a lovely garret.
387
00:21:21,597 --> 00:21:22,796
A garret?
388
00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:26,065
Of course. You can
visit me on weekends.
389
00:21:27,803 --> 00:21:29,803
Pugsley! Wednesday!
390
00:21:31,941 --> 00:21:35,542
Darling, your children
are here to see you.
391
00:21:35,611 --> 00:21:37,044
Hello, children.
392
00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:39,330
Poor little things.
393
00:21:39,399 --> 00:21:41,593
You haven't seen your
mother in days, have you?
394
00:21:41,617 --> 00:21:42,817
Sure we've seen her.
395
00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:45,635
She's been right there
chopping on those rocks.
396
00:21:45,704 --> 00:21:46,971
How true.
397
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:50,140
You little youngsters,
feeling lonely and neglected,
398
00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:53,327
you've come to plead with
your mother to come back to you.
399
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:56,964
No, we were just on
our way to the kitchen.
400
00:21:57,032 --> 00:22:00,751
Do you hear that? Not only lonely
and neglected, but starving, too.
401
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,614
Starving? Nonsense, darling,
402
00:22:02,638 --> 00:22:05,289
there's plenty of cold
yak in the refrigerator.
403
00:22:05,357 --> 00:22:08,275
Querida, it's 3:00
in the morning.
404
00:22:08,343 --> 00:22:10,878
Oh, yes, cold yak might
upset their stomachs.
405
00:22:10,946 --> 00:22:12,012
Heat it up, dear.
406
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:17,601
Children, tell your
mother what it's been like,
407
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:19,347
the last few days without her.
408
00:22:19,371 --> 00:22:20,849
We've been having a ball.
409
00:22:20,873 --> 00:22:22,656
We've been staying up all night.
410
00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:24,808
Oh?
411
00:22:24,877 --> 00:22:27,322
Well, just make sure you
sleep late in the morning.
412
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,642
Darling, they can't sleep late in the
morning, they have to go to school.
413
00:22:30,666 --> 00:22:32,310
We haven't been
to school in days.
414
00:22:32,334 --> 00:22:34,679
Do you hear that? They
haven't been to school in days.
415
00:22:34,703 --> 00:22:37,822
But, Father, it's vacation.
416
00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:41,325
Come on, Pugsley, let's go in
the kitchen and finish the fudge.
417
00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:45,462
Little darlings.
418
00:22:47,966 --> 00:22:49,132
Fudge?
419
00:22:53,839 --> 00:22:56,624
Gadzooks! Is she going
to sculpt in the kitchen, too?
420
00:23:00,095 --> 00:23:02,363
Wednesday, Pugsley,
what are you doing?
421
00:23:03,832 --> 00:23:05,732
Will you look at what's
cooking in that pot?
422
00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:08,068
Chocolate-marshmallow fudge!
423
00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:11,350
Where did you
pick up that habit?
424
00:23:11,374 --> 00:23:13,423
Children, what do you
have to say for yourselves?
425
00:23:13,492 --> 00:23:14,808
We're sorry.
426
00:23:14,877 --> 00:23:16,844
Have you ever tried fudge?
427
00:23:16,912 --> 00:23:18,295
Don't be insolent.
428
00:23:18,364 --> 00:23:19,663
Off to bed, this minute.
429
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:21,611
Go on, scoot,
scoot, scoot. Go on.
430
00:23:22,834 --> 00:23:25,202
Oh, Gomez, fudge.
431
00:23:25,271 --> 00:23:27,304
I have been
neglecting the children.
432
00:23:27,373 --> 00:23:29,173
From now on, I'm
turning in my chisel.
433
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:31,653
No! No, don't try
to talk me out of it.
434
00:23:31,677 --> 00:23:33,210
My mind's made up.
435
00:23:33,279 --> 00:23:35,879
I'm going back to the most
important role a woman can have.
436
00:23:35,948 --> 00:23:37,681
Lover. Mother.
437
00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:39,516
Oh, that. And lover.
438
00:23:41,821 --> 00:23:43,420
(GONG RESOUNDING)
439
00:23:44,222 --> 00:23:45,456
You rang?
440
00:23:45,524 --> 00:23:48,592
Lurch, clear those rocks
out of the living room.
441
00:23:48,661 --> 00:23:50,761
We're going to dance till dawn!
442
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:55,833
Ole!
443
00:23:56,618 --> 00:23:57,668
Ole.
444
00:24:05,594 --> 00:24:07,260
(PLAYING ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSIC)
445
00:24:19,075 --> 00:24:20,241
Do I hear music?
446
00:24:20,309 --> 00:24:21,859
Yes.
447
00:24:21,927 --> 00:24:24,728
You know when I told you to
call Blooker the broker and sell?
448
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:26,063
I thought you said buy.
449
00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:27,898
Did I get you in a jam?
450
00:24:27,966 --> 00:24:29,750
You certainly did, tax-wise.
451
00:24:29,819 --> 00:24:31,251
That stock went up 50 points.
452
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,170
I made $600,000.
453
00:24:34,807 --> 00:24:35,940
Wonderful.
454
00:24:36,008 --> 00:24:38,442
Now I can buy back
all my lovely statues.
30135
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