Original subtitles

we've got remnants afloat and I hear a

special music thank you thank you very

much well I'm not gonna sing my own

happy birthday song birthday dear Jane I

have two birthdays August 22nd 2000

I'll just say that I picked up my video

camera when my mom got a brain tumor I

brought it everywhere I went

recording everything I saw

I thought my mom would appreciate it

after all of her trials to see how far

down she went and how bad she got before

she won her battle with cancer

I thought I knew where this would go

before he even got started as it turned

out I had no idea what this was like no

idea the Dallas Cowboys are playing the

San Fran I think of these poor football

players and all they do out there every

at least once a week

banging themselves up in jeopardizing

their neurological health and other

health and I'm thinking hmm really worth

it as you can just be going on a

vacation in Colorado and oh yes

thank you forget you my god Wow so I've

got some sons visiting today huh one

isn't the movie and this job how do we

know this Oh Momo the other ones in the

game industry what kind of clue can you

give Michael that you're in the game

industry

now game industry movements well Craig

it must be you and the movie industry

that's so proud of my voice

these days not even one of these days

right now I've got it on boys your life

and miles measure inches okay I'm

patient and impetuous - although I'm

impetuous so that doesn't fit with

patient oh yeah you're both your

contradiction yeah yeah yeah I kind of

always been that way a little bit but do

you know what I think it makes people

interesting as long as you don't show

too many people off this

this machine

I increase the complexity of it

anyway

we are again

yeah yes you're stuck with me for a

while

maybe just your mind sending a different

message saying that

just like you're slower on the left side

to communicate the move you've got a

14-4 modem on one side and a 56k modem

on the other so that's cable modem on

the one side side switch I really am

pretty much it it's sort of an everyday

cutting yeah you know I just do things

in a kind of ordinary way I've never

liked to rock to anybody's bolder

including my own here I am rocking a

boat can you believe that it's always

easier when you know the answer yes I

said a prayer to God and Bonnie this

like I just said you know sometimes the

answers are very style yeah that wasn't

fun I do believe in prayer though really

is amazing stuff and so many people are

but I said we went and got it out I said

I do not what I was kept an eye on

support systems definitely yeah you know

it shows its Oh

I just hate open every time they go in

there this greater risk of future you

know something like that and I just

don't I just I don't know it's a tiny

swimming pool you know if they really

need to treat it or know of it but I

don't want to go I don't like that

you're going into surgery that way

because I think and yet going constantly

and if that comes back a certain way

then they would do

destroy that

maybe a nice pain washcloth with hot

water one's gonna be the trick I don't

want to get water underneath the bandage

that daddy's becoming the hair stamps

hair professional just some kind of way

I could be I could maintain everything

that might be including brain sewage of

course that would have been the bottom

they would hit your head on your side so

I suppose it could have dribbled around

the back hey you know yeah that's that's

betadine that's just an antiseptic

because I had to hair washing since then

correct yeah I think you did this is

this

Oh

how long that's up I'm ready for

Thanksgiving feast either

who are you pray it's over there

what are you talking to you no thanks

I'm doing my puzzle in your crossword

puzzle

always grateful that I knew the bullets

sure we were fortunate I was fortunate

to find my husband and marry into this

family

to the Willetts family and marrying all

that meat there's just be hard-put to

beat the two of them I love them both so

much I wish she spent her last days and

hours of at home on your weed Elena in

Dallas

oh she was so afraid she's in heaven

with the Angels and God right now you

can count on that

always hipster nothing to be afraid of

grandma's there yeah you knew anybody

will be in heaven it's grim I will let

you get your adderall

nothing waste more energy than worrying

water or curiously problem kids can

answer questions match each other's

sound test

asked me to please hold it down okay the

date is November 27th mm-hmm I knew I

was here right mmm-hmm there you go you

probably get dance to them same I do

that every goddamn time

I don't curse God's name you've got to

watch me

as a mom can't keep a tunity ward so it

goes mija I'm toast

that's alright she tries right yeah she

tries it is what she wants to do is just

on the crapper no you're gonna pick up

the pick up that dog like chin up are

you guys ready

are you ready

oh this is wonderful this set I do I

have all along it's just a whole concept

of the cancer hitting me I just never

thought about such a thing for some

reason they did say one thing about this

brain tumor it does not generally ever

straight from the brain to another part

of the body which is helpful but they

because they know the definitive

diagnosis they note that radiation a

certain method of radiation and a

certain regimen of chemotherapy is quite

effective in treating it so I between

that and my faith in God I do have hope

I surely do

ain't gonna be easy yeah I wish it were

easier than it is all this therapy but I

need the exercise anyway right all right

so here's what we're gonna do let's try

focusing on the left hand doing the

pushing rights doing the pushing in the

left hand is what we want to be done

needs to do all that so what you want to

do is the left hand supposed to help

guide that this one we want doesn't to

be doing some work here yeah

yeah for wrist need this much stronger

out there alright now one thing we are

doing here losing lots and lots of

shoulder but but really fast would you

it would be how luckily did this Liz

there's something and we hold that wrist

a you just do a long a I'm gonna do it

on the wrist if you do that yeah well

you guys take this top you're gonna get

it up

not that all the way up just just right

here what he's got so much to give

should I do this well confrontation in

the Southwestern Bell to the

International memo from the National

Cancer Center where acting commissioner

of the FDA it states that you shouldn't

read that kind of stuff I mean it's just

the opposite of what we're having done I

know that's why you shouldn't read this

kind of stuff I'm not going evil people

seem to think that this is going to be

helpful it's not it's not it's too

confusing

yeah it does you know if it isn't

exactly what you have then it sends the

wrong message

because it's the opposite of what I'm

having done yeah it's different well it

says you don't need chemo you don't need

radiation I know but that's because he's

promoting this antioxidant approach and

that may work for some people but I'm

not there yet but it isn't it isn't

scientifically proven you're getting the

best absolutely of the proven approach

exactly I mean these are all pigs in a

poke you nice not to have to think of

having chemo though I gotta tell you but

I don't want to start anything new now

we are on a roll

well that's one of those things that has

shown up I don't want to be perceived as

pushy like that Michael was sitting on

the floor and his little eyes at around

4 years of age 3 to 4 caucus this doodle

Sunday coming in the window and he

followed it up his little head went up

and he followed all the way down to the

floor and it was just the most darling

thing and I thought oh I'm gonna write a

little little song or something anyway

have you seen that

eyes of a child have you seen the

wonderment there and she looks up into

the sky as he looks up into the air it's

the beauty of love love it's the one

it's the beauty of wonderment o children

in their work

just their beauty just to be able to

watch them see the most normal things

and make it wonderful

well that was the 2-night connected with

it but I knew I always knew it would

never be ahead I always liked the time

period we lived in it was a great time

just for time but now I was all there's

an environmental junk it makes you

wonder if it was such a good time

because we didn't know the harm that was

out there a man that my brother went to

high school with we were all somewhat

contemporaries he was just a few years

older than I he had brain tumor and we

got to thinking we were downstream from

time speech is their connection while

they used ice dioxin in to treat the

rocky gravel roads up there I don't know

what it did exactly but they felt it was

safe during that time period they found

out much later it was very harmful they

actually bought out the town of times

beach was purchased by I believe the

government and then of course we swam in

the river Jeremy I'm not hiring for

degree summer so who knows who knows we

couldn't even imagine there was a

thought that came to mind it's not so

far gone perhaps I'm tired around

I'm gonna lay down here if you don't

think I just folks I don't wanna from

Jones hmm

may the season be all you wish it to be

happy holiday in the PICU this is for

Jane

they don't even include me he had cancer

95 95 they gave him three months to live

and he's still going strong I don't want

any doctor to give me a time frame I

want no time frame nuts whatsoever

nobody she doesn't say cancer yeah I

know it's cancer well you know more than

what she said well it was his cancer and

I don't think any person should put a

time on somebody's life like that what's

the point

oh my god the answer to that because my

feeling is what's at the other end of

this line death I can deal with death

it's just dead that's so frightening

about that

trying to take me out of here though huh

try to be the winner but not make you

feel - too bad - I'm gonna make it we

think you'll add a couple more alright

let's do a few more okay oh thank you

Michael thank you thank you

listen we I I hope I don't discourage

you too bad babe I made into quick no no

that's okay we got pretty close to what

we wanted to do I think we did very well

really yeah yeah we want to work on the

leg again tomorrow yes a little stronger

yeah we'll do the leg and and whatever

else she thinks business all right don't

work on the order and everything we know

that a positive outlet house generally

speaking there we come

I like this cameraman here hope you

don't get on my my little wrinkles

mm-hmm yeah thanks wrinkles wrinkles are

nothing

wrinkles me and that thing we just hope

that all of these everything comes

together that came out therapy all the

physical therapy occupational therapy

that speech therapy so we will be this

sound as it over by next year yeah cool

down

medicines working can't do that you need

those you need everything you got

oh yeah yeah

yeah week we'd out of them

how fast is that more being work

they did some tests and ran another MRI

and dang things still growing and it's

moving into new areas well they don't

know why it's not responding to the

chemicals unfortunately it's just not

your normal lump that you can take out

their only option right now there's

doesn't look like there's gonna be

anyway she's going home again in a

couple of weeks there may be some

serious decisions to make Oh

but get me out of this mess

I wish I could just gotta rest let the

medicine work that's the way we're going

to get out of this mess and so let the

medicine work and then on top of that I

went and blew a disc and and not from

doing anything spectacular just decided

it was time to go well this time in the

next I I have had surgery and now

wearing a collar for the next well I've

worn it for about a month and I got

another month to go school

Mazel Tov

yeah

Julie Samantha there's some apple for

you

when your mouth taking in so you can

chew it he might be

there you go do it up yeah there you go

you are sitting up in the chair you are

sitting in a chair right now you're not

in bed

where you gonna go you can't walk

you wanna what

you want to brush your teeth okay if you

did that

it's a softer brush so you don't hurt

yourself

yesterday

five sleep on me

put the toothbrush in your mouth do your

teeth feel better

what are you doing dead what am i doing

I'm doing what's necessary trying to

make frame the right size for the

wedding certificate

that'll work

Ed McMahon what's the date 26 why is the

22nd I don't know this is all dad's

writing but that not sure what he did

there we may actually have missed our

anniversary today well happy anniversary

maybe you have a lot of company your

mom's here and your sisters okay

there's mom

ya see every time you turn around

there's somebody else here granny was

glad because she she if I was surprised

she didn't know who we were and that mom

was real happy about that and she wanted

this this you know anniversary thing she

was so looking forward to it dad was

looking forward to yeah sounds like

looks like we might have a chance to

Herbie Emily's gland after you to

participate in yeah

you got your all ready we'll get you all

set up mom you're looking great you're

all together get your dress on you're

looking good you're all together

might not feel it but you are yeah we

got you together

sure

leave huh we're here

look at that go downstairs and live

Chapel and you can come up and relax

tomorrow just just relatives yeah you

got that and Rob and Elizabeth and their

kids and Bob and Jerry hey brother Bob

and Jerry and Hakeem Devon so not a lot

of people just a few all good friends

and family and I'll be say we love you

we're going down to the camper down to

the chapel

okay gonna get married

everybody everybody's serving you you're

the you're the guest of honor so you

just have to sit back and we will

actually enjoy and say I do with the

right back they you can do that can't

you all right

friends got his love and those who abide

in love abide in God and God abides in

them we gathered today in the presence

of God to give thanks for the gift of

marriage and to reaffirm the gift of

marriage for Bob and Jane as I thought

about the two of you today a lion came

to me from a book that's from Charles

Dickens book of Tale of Two Cities

the opening line states that it is the

best of times and the worst of times in

the tale of two lives that of Bob and

Jane will let this might also be said

but this is a time when Jane is

struggling with illness and Bob is

recovering from surgery this is a time

in which life is difficult however it is

also a time when we can see in the two

of you the central truth that Paul was

saying to the church at Corinth love

bears all things believes all things

hopes all things and endures all things

I ask you why do you take Jane to again

to be your wife and do you promise

before God in these witnesses that you

will be her loving and faithful husband

in plenty and want in joy and in sorrow

in sickness and in health as long as you

both shall live

if so answer I do and do you Jane take

Bob to be your husband again and promise

before God in these witnesses that you

will be his loving and faithful wife in

plenty and want in joy and in sorrow in

sickness and in health as long as you

both shall live

if so answer I do

I do you may kiss your bride again

you don't all have to teach your

distance

you're not gonna melt feel like like my

rather hey you're gonna keep fighting

aren't you

is there any animators and then the

other way but doctor said that you

become down here

you got to get back to the room so that

they can watch you so we're gonna have

to postpone the motel trip some some

time before too long we'll be able to do

that we can we can we can stop on the

way up to Colorado to our the melody

lane hotel how about that that'll be

pretty good

good shake

and still improving tire these little

roll because you're right so much rather

just to your stay better and not trying

toward worse and how man that was

exhausting and painful

I guess in some ways it made his face

some grim possibilities which probably

doesn't hurt to be at least prepared for

you know we will work - for not to have

infinity so move it move it I hope and

pray in there and we'll see what we got

sure

I sure will what about Mike well why

should he get congratulations oh I love

you in your special what am I getting

congratulations I I want to get out of

this thing honey let me get out of this

let me figure that out

patro is this it to a chain and putz the

name of this hotel okay it'll be okay

okay

how you feeling right now yeah I'm still

frightening about this whole affair it's

very strange

well it's a scary process but doctor

well I understanding the parts of it

other parts I don't understand

yeah that was not scary

that is right it's scary one of those

pictures on my bed I look like death

warmed over

sheesh I think they're looking pretty

good mom thank you try being a hot naked

girl shine she she's

improves so much and doing so well they

just and she wants to go home so I says

that seems so logical thing to do before

the unless you think chemicals don't

start doing something this is is this is

MIT this may be as good as it gets and

he says what she's got is a terminal

disease so sometime along there if the

chemicals don't work she's gonna get

worse and go back to the way she was

because if there's no answer then I can

just pray to God who knows I prayed to

him for months now good thing I had

prayer in your heart that way you felt a

lot better about things

hey mom you gotta finish eating what's

in your mouth before you even why right

so put down your fork here for a second

for me go ahead and chew and swallow

know for sure go ahead and chew and

swallow what's in there already

no no stop I know there's little

stickers you put those on before you

used it no they came with those mom well

you also have to swallow what's in your

mouth swallow what's in your mouth

before you pick up any more food hold my

hand hold my hair alright so hope I can

get back to normal and can eat and do

right things you swallow what's in your

mouth mom yeah just a minute

you gotta swallow what's in your mouth

okay I'm going to swallow it before you

eat any more food you're not supposed to

just store it up in your chipmunk

pouches

that's it yeah

I know is that the doctor said don't

store the food I like my younger baby

that's right you see I tell you he don't

listen anyway if you don't like look

apart i got a fork I don't know how to

make you stop you won't stop stop eating

in front of my body well you have to

swallow what's in your mouth out there

you can get to the fork is that your

distraction technique

come operate haven't put me in it and

st. that's I'm not gonna put anything

else out why would we want to do that

mom

that's it that's what they're talking

about no and they're talking about

extended care is what they're talking

about which is just a place where

somebody can take care of you all the

time

which is something that we have to find

out whether we can do here

I have never this I've had more than

enough of this I think you should start

feeling better that's what I think I

have an answer

anytime wouldn't be perfect again right

choice daddy I got a call into you still

got the bad headache yes a bad one just

a bad man you're sick I'm sick yes very

well that's that's one of the one of the

seven one of the symptoms that we're

supposed to call me miss you've got

those kinds of situations so you need

these pills within your condition you're

not going to be able to swallow anything

could you just put them back up Randy

yeah so we got to figure out another way

to get these pills in you and that may

require professional help you've been

trying to get that for weeks okay help

what help moving so I'm not so

uncomfortable I don't know how to move

okay honey that's cold

I knew it mom if you don't straighten

your leg I can't straighten but what do

you want to do I want this place to be

straight well here if you want them to

be straight let me straighten the only

way we're gonna solve this which means

we need to take her in Oh Bob yeah we're

gonna have to go back to the here we go

you grab a hold of me Oh daddy I yeah I

got it I got it yeah

mrs. Grayson right here yes can you help

me mom please

Thank You Eddie come on baby come on I

know you can you don't let me get my

hand underneath John come with me on the

stand with your right

your waist is so tiny

get your get your foot here

I'm not feeling really good

and that hurts

my neck laughing well I have to get you

something for that

you gotta eat because because we can't

we can't take care of you at home if you

don't eat I don't want to have to put

you in the hospital or something like

that because you won't eat

what do you got there mom

yeah

yeah she just blank for 10 seconds or so

and and then she'd start off again as if

the 10 seconds didn't exist that's when

she was over your seizures yeah that's

that's a sign of a seizure it's that

little blank out when she might have

been doing that for years weirdest yeah

could have been could have been for

years and you know as a sign that there

was something going on there that I just

hadn't effect any of the vital functions

and therefore we just didn't just

brushed it off that's why I'm a little

bit concerned about the steering is is

is she's starting to have little those

little gaps again she's definitely

focused in on something off to the right

that is may or may not be something we

can see okay I love you I love you too

mom I don't know baby it's just been a

very bad day we were hoping you were

feeling better today well I wish I could

I feel better today honey why I'm strong

thank you for your sympathetic they're

coming they're coming

I want you to talk to your father and

tell them this she's I can make it if

you really shouldn't help

I want something under my body honey if

you have something you need to go to the

bathroom again

yes you do I do you definitely need to

go to the bathroom yeah you're not just

forgetting that you want right I don't

think so Craig I need to go potty again

please I need to potty again

we're getting something for you we're

getting someone for you I'm warming yes

a woman is coming down okay yes that's

good

I need a pot if we know love someone's

coming okay I need somebody to help me

but yeah she needs to go to the bathroom

again

I need a potty underneath I'm sure

they're coming they're coming as fast as

they can okay I like those jeans if

those delays yep these are the new jeans

I got at Christmas I have got PP coming

on right now all right we need a bedpan

pretty quick

I guess Oh where'd God put me well I'm

gonna keep you right here give me that

right now can you give that to me this

very moment Oh help me help me help me

Mom you still you still need to go to

the bathroom

I don't know that I do yeah I felt like

I had a bunch coming out you did some in

that pan there yeah okay

okay okay

we gotcha gotcha

and he said that if we do find some

miracle what we have is probably as good

as it's going to get that the damage is

permanent

which basically means that this isn't

what she was

oh there you go

you got it you got it you know who I am

that's great Wow yeah I talked to dr.

Strauss he says that the

cancer is resisting everything

they've tried everything and it's just

resisting everything

so we're gonna have to ask mom and dad

to come get you and help you

have you talked to mom and dad lately

they're waiting for you they're gonna

help aren't they they're gonna help

you've wanted to talk to mom and dad for

a long time and here's the time it's

time to talk to mom and dad

they let me baby

can't be as good as home but it will try

to make it as homey as we can't hunt and

we'll be here every day yeah every day

there's a sequel last night mom

okay

what do you need mom more people here

now my mom when I first saw your mom I

thought that even though I was talking

to you on the phone every day about what

was going on with her but there's a way

when you're away from something of

believe me that it's not true even

though you know it is true and it was

hard not to cry but she's still laying

right there and so you don't want to cry

in front of her and have her feel like

you've given up on it some some part of

me still has hope and I you know thank

you praying but then another part looks

at how sick she is and says it would be

a real big miracle if she were there God

would heal her

it says this little chair is a reminder

that every day through the good and

through the bad God is always sitting

beside you loving you ready to give you

support so put this chair beside you and

I hope you'll feel God's loving presence

he's always there when we make room for

him thinking of you with lots of love

Kadri that's a nice card yeah it was a

nice car I tell ya

oh yeah you're doing good today we got

lots more time lots more time together

yeah Craig always nice to qualified that

I am his favorite girl under 40 because

we know who his favorite girl over 40 is

you know what you might even be his

favorite girl period and that is just

fine with me because you're really

lovable and I could see why you would be

his number one girl what are you

thinking and everything home like it's

pretty pretty sad and depressing

actually in this part not a place right

just inspires hope excitement at all

for sure I will always associate this

hallway with the awful stench of urine

so you get halfway down the hall to like

the end of the hall it's just like awful

you're inside just gonna hold your

breath but you can't hold them long

enough you look like you see things are

you seeing things that are frightening

you needn't be afraid

Bart is close by I promise she was

indicating that she was seeing things

that we weren't seeing and seeing people

that we that we weren't seeing angels

floating around and not knowing where

she was and not being in control and

kind of like she was caught in this

dream world since she had such a an

affection for my mom and dad and keep

trying to tell her to look for look for

mom and dad because they'll help

they'll help help her on this journey

you're free you're free

hard to catch in between yeah yeah I

think you're right if she's uh

if she's awake could be any day it could

be any week in between yeah take what we

wanted unfortunately look but what

happens okay dear lord please hear our

prayer Craig and Jane and I are all in

agreement that with your guidance and

help James brain can be healed and

you'll shrink the tumor and help her

brain grow back so healthy and help her

regain everything lord please help would

be without pain did you reach keeper huh

reaching for the sky reaching for the

stars that you think changing looks

better she's got more roses in her

cheeks

Jane this is mom and you know my boy

says this is mom like you don't know who

mom is I don't know she dish by the

facial expressions that maybe she yeah

she does mom she yes yes hello Jane hi

you

yes you think you're their father

bye-bye-bye change the by 3d

we know that you love us

yeah

to me

you've got that engine

let's see your eyes moving you're

blinking that eyeball yeah you gonna

blink the other one just gonna blink the

left

we have started to write to both so many

times would have had trouble sitting

down and putting our thoughts on paper

like everyone else we still can't

believe what has happened with Jane's

illness since last year we still think

of Jane just like

the last time we saw her in southern

County happy full of life and excitement

Jamie want you to know how much we love

you and miss talking to you you have the

best voice always bubbly and cute Jane

said several times on the phone that you

always move

that you were special but she felt so

fortunate to learn the depth of your

love and caring everyone in the world

that's lucky

we of course will contrive for a miracle

every day

ready for a miracle mom one breath that

means yes

Wow my jingle bells tinkle fast II know

all the way to ride in a one-horse open

sleigh hey you need to wait you're

sleeping he knows when you're awake he

knows if you've been bad or good so be

good for goodness sake don't you like

that or that

they didn't hear us you're doing already

so

for me

you'll never live

that may be the last time I see her but

I don't feel like it is nothing you went

to hell no I know

the hell done

yeah

well do

she's gonna open up her eyes boys

come on

come on

why don't we get a miracle

well a [ __ ] miracle

stupid

okay okay

thank you very much

mom passed away now I'm kicking myself

about [ __ ] hands for not going down

there tonight yeah yeah but I had a

feeling yeah

get it home hospice passed away this

evening yeah

turn eight I've been there

yeah that's really good phone calls no

warning yeah

hello since rolling in their sleep just

can't do anything about it anyway there

I am being practical

you know sometimes the practical place

you got to go that place hurts a little

too much at that moment so you think we

can handle this by ourselves I think so

I think we got each other

let me too much wow she's in a better

place

unfortunately our place just got worse

Wow it's missing something

everything is set for the reception

tomorrow they did have one question that

probably sounds silly but they want to

know if you want to have iced tea and

punch and coffee or just punch and

coffee or just punch an ice tea doesn't

matter to you

not really I don't think you're gonna

have many coffee drinkers give me the

definition of Jane will let in three

sentences are left why would you say you

know I I could tell you little stories

where she [ __ ] my here and there but

she was just amazing I can't I can't you

know I was never asked for anyone else

she was

the greatest gifts I was ever given I

got started out of life with with

a huge huge advantage right from the

start she cared about others

we just did everything together

we had somebody put him said I know that

if you go from this place there is one

thing that Jane would have to remember

that God made this world beautiful all

things and that he made not that we

could share it with one another that her

love

no it's not no it's not water lying that

way but in the pan I can we don't

verdict it gives your goodness yeah

bless your soul well McCain Kirby we're

lat yeah

we're gonna be thick of you all the time

love you

got a naked speech

she's making that

okay

love you mom

or deceive me again

yeah I was gonna crash on June 8

assuming the cosmic yeah it ain't even a

blip I think yeah yeah man they've been

here a few seconds

this what's all from over

be able to go any place in Colorado

without knowing that you're watching

this that you're here with us

you