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1
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[narrator] Previously on Velma
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00:00:07,757 --> 00:00:10,572
- [all yelling]
- She has no brain!
3
00:00:10,573 --> 00:00:13,387
Now, when I try to
solve a mystery,
4
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:16,891
my guilt triggers
a potentially heart stopping hallucination.
5
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,851
Wait, you think
I killed Brenda?
6
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,938
You just said you were going to do to me
what you did to her.
7
00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:25,400
I meant pay you to keep quiet.
I'm innocent!
8
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:27,609
[gasps]
9
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:30,739
Uh, Velma,
you should see this.
10
00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:31,781
Ugh!
11
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:34,200
Ahhh!
12
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,119
Oh God, it's Krista!
13
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,997
And she also
has no brain.
14
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,505
[Velma] So, what's
more surprising?
15
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,590
[reporters clamoring]
16
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:53,136
Fred Jones being arrested for murdering
and removing the brains
17
00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:55,095
of Brenda Bright
and Krista McCray
18
00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:57,723
or that his delicate,
teen heartthrob good looks
19
00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,643
stem from the fact that he hasn't gone
through puberty yet?
20
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,186
[all gasp]
21
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,480
[Velma] The murders.
Obviously, it's the murders.
22
00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:05,814
It's not small, it's scared!
23
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:07,484
[Velma] But it just
goes to show,
24
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,693
we all have secrets.
25
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:12,654
[grunts] Velma's birthday gift!
26
00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:15,116
[Velma] Even the ones
we least expect.
27
00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:21,163
Ahhh!
28
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:24,167
[Velma] But as much as you try to hide
who you really are...
29
00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:27,002
Your ass is mine,
best friend.
30
00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:30,422
...Velma Dinkley always knows
the ugly truth,
31
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:33,676
[Aman] Velma, have you seen that sweater
vest I bought Sophie?
32
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,428
[Velma] Uh, no.
33
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,269
[people gasping in surprise]
34
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:47,690
[woman in seductive voice]
Because without your ascot, you're naked.
35
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,506
Jones Gentlemen's Accessories.
36
00:01:51,507 --> 00:01:54,071
What are you, poor?
37
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:58,368
Yes, Fred Jones,
heir to the Jones Gentlemen's Accessories fortune,
38
00:01:58,369 --> 00:02:00,411
was arrested last night
for murder.
39
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,329
[muffled] Yeah, thanks to me!
40
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:05,291
And according to the police,
Jones would have gotten away with it, too.
41
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,876
if it wasn't for
his classmate...
42
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,002
Say my name, say my name.
43
00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:09,253
Vermin Dorkley.
44
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,213
It's Velma Dorkley!
I mean Dinkley!
45
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:16,219
And finally only one lawyer has agreed
to represent Fred Jones.
46
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:17,929
Vermin's own father,
47
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:19,638
- Aman Dinkley!
- What?
48
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,683
Velma, winning this case could make
your father rich!
49
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:25,728
I already bought
a baby monitor that shoots on film.
50
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,355
It just looks more real,
you know?
51
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:28,772
Exactly.
52
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:30,774
I mean, look at this
from my perspective, Velma.
53
00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:33,610
If you needed money
to keep your pregnant girlfriend happy,
54
00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:36,801
and then you heard what
the Joneses are willing to pay,
55
00:02:36,802 --> 00:02:39,993
I'm sure you'd agree
it's possible Fred didn't do it.
56
00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:41,995
Fred's a rich white guy
with a tiny dong.
57
00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:43,745
He did it.
Now, excuse me.
58
00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:46,373
I have to go find
my missing mother.
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00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:49,002
You didn't mention
Fred had a tiny dong.
60
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:50,419
Oh yeah, real baby carrot.
61
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:53,715
And I'm going to ride it
all the way to victory!
62
00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:54,590
Huh?
63
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,758
[bell rings]
64
00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,678
[Norville] Wow, people seem to
be taking to the fact
65
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,346
that Fred is
a brain stealing sociopath
66
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,014
- really well.
- All our classmates
67
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,058
are idiots or sheep,
so let's assume they're high.
68
00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:08,897
Man, if I ever even think
about getting into 420, 420 culture,
69
00:03:08,898 --> 00:03:11,608
or especially
420 related humor, kill me.
70
00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:13,275
You know what 420 is right?
71
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:16,132
Um, yeah. It's code for adults
who still watch cartoons.
72
00:03:16,133 --> 00:03:18,833
Now, have you seen Daphne?
Her parents are detectives,
73
00:03:18,834 --> 00:03:21,533
so I need her help
to get my mom's cold case files.
74
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,494
You want me to come with
in case you have another hallucination?
75
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:26,331
Thanks. But after catching Fred,
I feel my hallucinations
76
00:03:26,332 --> 00:03:28,165
are like the return of
high waisted jeans.
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00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,585
It took a while,
but we're finally through the worst of it.
78
00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,461
[siren blaring]
79
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,882
Sweetie, are you sure you don't
want to take a mental health day?
80
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,759
It's not often your boyfriend
is arrested
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00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,635
for removing
two of your friends' brains.
82
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,387
Thank you. But if the kids
in every teen show ever
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00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:45,642
can get through a brush
with a deranged serial killer, so can I.
84
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,644
[sniffs] Good lord!
85
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:51,564
It smells like the
Playboy Jazz Festival out there.
86
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:54,483
And a kid's eating sheet cake at 8:00
in the morning.
87
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,986
- You thinking what I'm thinking?
- Let's go get a sheet cake?
88
00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:57,987
High five!
89
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,364
Hey, Daphne.
90
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,199
What do you want, Vermin?
91
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,785
Just to offer my
sincerest condolences
92
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:08,143
for the loss of your more popular friends
that you picked over me.
93
00:04:08,144 --> 00:04:11,501
Stop! I know you think I'm a huge bitch
who ditched you to be cool.
94
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,670
What? That's so not true.
95
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,048
Fine. [sighs]
96
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,508
I need a favor.
97
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,260
I need you to get me
my mom's cold case file.
98
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,344
Why would I do that?
99
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,512
We're not friends anymore.
100
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,431
- We're nemesises...
- Nemeses.
101
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,224
- That's why.
- Okay.
102
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:30,603
Well, I was hoping you'd get it for me
for old time's sake.
103
00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:36,358
I see.
104
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:40,905
Well, for old time's sake,
I'll give you the file...
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00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:43,740
- Really?
- For $500.
106
00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:46,369
Five hundred dollars?
That's like, a million dollars.
107
00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:48,496
Well, like you said,
I'm a huge bitch.
108
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:49,705
I was being sarcastic.
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00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,540
You can't read tone
in graffiti.
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00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,376
Five hundred dollars
or nothing.
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00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:54,376
Ugh.
112
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,963
Now, first, thank you
for taking my case.
113
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,217
We could not be happier
you're on the team, Velma's dad.
114
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,926
[clears throat]
115
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:05,638
Sorry, what we meant
to say is that you are our last choice.
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00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,514
And if you blow this,
my family will bring
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00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,767
the full weight of
Jones Gentlemen's Accessories
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00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:12,061
and Jones Gentlemen's
Accessories for Women
119
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,311
down on your head!
120
00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:16,441
Okay, uh, well, the case
won't be easy.
121
00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:18,316
Of course it will.
I'm innocent.
122
00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:21,029
The only reason people think
I removed those girls' brains
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00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:23,280
is because I
"basically confessed"
124
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:26,075
and have
"well documented anger issues".
125
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,451
I mean, does that even mean?
126
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,161
Hey! Am I on a hunger strike?
127
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,872
Where the hell are my pancakes?
128
00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:32,831
[sighs]
129
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:35,585
Uh, are you trying to
choke me to death?
130
00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:36,918
You forgot cutties.
131
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:38,858
You're embarrassing
ourself, Frederick.
132
00:05:38,859 --> 00:05:40,797
It's bad enough
you still eat pancakes
133
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:43,551
and drink non alcoholic
beverages like a baby!
134
00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:45,803
Yes, Father.
Sorry... Sorry, Father.
135
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:48,055
- [groans]
- Our apologies, Aman.
136
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,767
Freddie is due in court this afternoon,
and the case has everyone out of sorts.
137
00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:53,977
No, this childishness
is actually perfect.
138
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:56,626
See, I feel the only way
to prove Fred's innocence
139
00:05:56,627 --> 00:05:59,275
is to play up the fact
that he's a late bloomer.
140
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,776
[gasps]
141
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:04,863
I mean, the world sees Fred Jones,
teen sociopath.
142
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:09,827
So instead, let's show them Fred Jones,
innocent little boy.
143
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,266
It can't miss, right?
144
00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:12,704
Please say it can't miss.
145
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:15,416
My girlfriend just bought
a $2,000 stroller.
146
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,042
- It hovers.
- William,
147
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,668
our son cannot go to prison.
148
00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:21,756
He can barely survive
on the outside as is.
149
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,548
[choking]
150
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:26,469
Victoria, admitting he's a little boy
is worse than any crime.
151
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,053
It's embarrassing.
152
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:32,225
He is the future CEO of
Jones Gentlemen's Accessories!
153
00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:33,726
- Is he, though?
- [Fred grunting]
154
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,146
[Fred sighs]
155
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,480
[sighs]
156
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,190
Well, try it your way.
157
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,735
Great. I just hope people
can actually think I'm a little kid.
158
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,238
Ah, crap. I'm all syrupy.
159
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,322
Bathies!
160
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,535
So, Velma,
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00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,412
what brings you to Casa Del Norville Rogers,
Blythe Rogers
162
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,706
and me, his father,
Lamont Rogers?
163
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,771
Here for a Rogering,
as we might say?
164
00:06:57,772 --> 00:06:59,836
Oh, I was just in
the neighborhood.
165
00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:02,004
No ulterior motive whatsoever.
166
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,840
Hey, that's a nice vase.
167
00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:05,674
Is that worth $500?
168
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,845
Oh, hey, look who's busy
not finding my missing mother.
169
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,804
Actually, Daphne's moms
are here
170
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:14,078
because they think we have
a Candy Man problem at school.
171
00:07:14,079 --> 00:07:17,353
And as the principal,
I've asked them to go undercover
172
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,939
as high school students
to find them.
173
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,525
And that's the 4-1-1,
home skillet.
174
00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:23,505
Words.
175
00:07:23,506 --> 00:07:24,484
Candy Man?
176
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,195
I think you mean
Sugar Daddy?
177
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,404
And Sarah's 18.
178
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,864
Her parents are cool with it.
179
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,742
A Candy Man's a drug dealer,
V-Dawg.
180
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:32,868
I knew that.
181
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,954
So is Norville in his room?
182
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,205
What's going on, guys.
183
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:39,332
So today on Norville Snacks,
our World Tour
184
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,459
continues East,
as we say ni hao
185
00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:43,212
- to Beijing style shrimp chips.
- [door slams]
186
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:45,213
- Norville!
- Velma! Not while I'm live.
187
00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:47,800
I can't get banned for your thoughts
on South Asian desserts again.
188
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,969
I'm so sorry,
but this is important.
189
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,304
Daphne wants $500 for the file,
190
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,807
and all my money is tied up
in streaming services.
191
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,683
Velma, I don't have it.
192
00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:58,311
My mom's birthday is coming up,
and this year she just wants cash.
193
00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,146
Otherwise, you know
I'd give it to you.
194
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,063
[sighs] I know, it's okay.
195
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:05,234
Like the dessert course
at an Indian restaurant just forget it.
196
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,198
Wait in teen movies,
197
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:12,909
whenever a girl
needs money,
198
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:14,534
a guy sells something
199
00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,954
and then blackmails
the girl into dating him for it.
200
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:21,083
Problematic, but effective.
And hilarious!
201
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,835
So it was not easy,
202
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,586
but I got your $5.
203
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,547
I assume I-O-U's are okay?
204
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,256
It's $500, Velma.
205
00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:30,968
But if you don't have it,
there might be a way you can earn it.
206
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,262
I was thinking you could
come work for me.
207
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,556
Doing what?
And is the office culture cool?
208
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,933
Like, are there snacks?
209
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:39,268
[whispering indistinctly]
210
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,185
[gasping]
211
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,646
You're the Candy Man?
212
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:44,899
[Velma grunts]
213
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:48,318
Candy Woman.
214
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:50,570
And I have
your sugar right here.
215
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:52,823
Daphne, why would you
deal drugs?
216
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,616
You're beautiful and popular.
217
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,953
Being a bad girl too
just muddles your brand.
218
00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:59,204
This doesn't make me
a bad girl.
219
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:02,333
According to TV,
it's morally okay to deal drugs
220
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,167
if your life is just
kind of crappy.
221
00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:07,046
Like your kid's sick,
you're a widow with a mortgage.
222
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,777
You have to live on a lake
in Missouri.
223
00:09:08,778 --> 00:09:10,507
Those are all
white people, Daphne.
224
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:13,803
Minorities on TV can only deal drugs
to escape poverty.
225
00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:15,512
[gasps] Wait, that's it.
226
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,682
This is about you trying to run
with your fancy rich crowd.
227
00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,641
Yup, that must be it.
228
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:22,645
Because the brilliant Velma Dinkley knows
everything about everyone,
229
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,396
and isn't afraid to say it.
230
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:26,815
Exactly. I spit truth
without a filter,
231
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,235
like every comedian
before hashtag "MeToo".
232
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,654
Look, are you in
or are you out?
233
00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,071
Oh, I'm out.
234
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:35,032
Because if you
don't give me that file,
235
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:37,347
I'll tell your
police officer moms
236
00:09:37,348 --> 00:09:39,662
their perfect daughter is...
[grunts]
237
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:43,749
[quietly] You. Wouldn't. Dare.
238
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,169
Yeah, no, it was a dumb idea.
239
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,712
So what are we selling?
240
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:51,924
Oh, just the usual.
Zoinks, Jeepers, Mystery Machine,
241
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,468
and of course,
guh-guh-guh-guh-ganja.
242
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:56,678
[Norville] Only $80?
243
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,515
But I need $500
to get a girl to date me.
244
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:01,976
Hilarious. But no.
245
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,645
Huh.
246
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:07,981
Psst. You want to
make some real money?
247
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:10,860
I don't have time to flip houses,
but I'll hear you out.
248
00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:13,570
Nice roller bag.
249
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,322
You selling bibles later?
250
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,658
Nice outfit. You driving a big rig
to Bakersfield later.
251
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:20,243
No, dummy.
This is a disguise.
252
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:22,912
Because what we're doing
is illegal.
253
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:27,043
Oh, sorry we can't all make
it rain cool shades, El Chapo.
254
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:28,815
You know what?
Let's just do this.
255
00:10:28,816 --> 00:10:30,588
Don't you want any tips
on selling?
256
00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:32,547
Mmm, I think I got it.
257
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:35,258
Drugs are like crack
to these people.
258
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:39,096
Now most cultures of the world as a rule,
wouldn't mix kiwi and whitefish.
259
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,390
But they don't play
by the rules in North Korea.
260
00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:43,058
Drugs here!
261
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,602
Get your drugs here!
262
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:48,396
[coughing] Narc, narc.
263
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:50,691
[coughing] White girl with too much money
white girl with too much money.
264
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,152
You don't know me.
I'm a white girl who's bored.
265
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,527
Let's roll.
266
00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:56,112
Yeah. Go. I don't care.
267
00:10:56,113 --> 00:11:00,034
Enjoy your slow descent
into organic farming, losers.
268
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,785
Look, I know you're a genius...
269
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,953
- Thank you.
- Who thinks she has everyone pegged.
270
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:06,916
- Only because I do.
- But you might have more success with this
271
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:09,085
if you went in
just a little less judgy.
272
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,335
Wait, I'm judgy?
273
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,920
You would say
something like that.
274
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,673
You want your mom's
cold case file, right?
275
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:15,840
Yes. Fine.
276
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,009
I'll try. I'll try.
277
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:20,282
If you want to
get swole, try Zoinks!
278
00:11:20,283 --> 00:11:22,420
You'll be bouncing them
big old man boobs
279
00:11:22,421 --> 00:11:24,558
faster than you can say,
"Who is this for?"
280
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:25,935
Yeah, we like the
sound of that.
281
00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:27,018
What'll it cost?
282
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,728
Not much.
Just your dad's love
283
00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:31,232
when you blow out your knee
and lose your scholarship.
284
00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,440
[sighs]
285
00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:34,317
I was being helpful.
286
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:36,779
The sooner he can focus on getting
his real estate license, the better.
287
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,446
Jeepers raises
your dopamine levels,
288
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,449
so it will definitely
help you memorize your lines.
289
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,618
- Huzzah!
- [others] Huzzah!
290
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:43,576
[dryly] Huzzah!
291
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,120
Yeah. I'm sorry, Velma.
292
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,788
I could feel you forcing that.
293
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,873
Yeah. You know
what else feels forced?
294
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:51,961
Your belief that you're the only one
sleeping with the lead.
295
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:54,379
[sobbing]
296
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,505
Oh, my God.
297
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:56,631
Sorry. Sorry.
298
00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:58,342
[scoffs] Okay. You're fired.
299
00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,718
What? Why?
300
00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:08,935
Uh, will I sell you a kidney,
301
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:12,063
to get the $500
I need to make Velma date me?
302
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:14,650
I mean, I'd be a fool
not to at this point, right?
303
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,818
[crowd] Justice for
Brenda and Krista!
304
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:20,156
It's a mob scene here
as Fred Jones arrives
305
00:12:20,157 --> 00:12:21,657
for his day in court.
306
00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:24,284
Aman, over here.
307
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:27,621
Aman! How could you risk your career
and entire livelihood
308
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,664
on the most
unlikeable defendant
309
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:32,376
since that chimpanzee
who ate a woman's face?
310
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,775
Because what you see as risk,
311
00:12:35,776 --> 00:12:39,205
I see as mere... child's play.
312
00:12:39,206 --> 00:12:42,636
Hewo fwends! My name is Fwed!
313
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,200
What's yours?
314
00:12:44,201 --> 00:12:45,763
[all] Aw!
315
00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:49,935
Wow, I think I speak for the entire journalistic
community when I say,
316
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,811
"Don't I feel like an asshole!"
317
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:55,941
No way this scrumptious muffin
removed those girls' brains!
318
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,442
T'anks, news lady!
319
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:58,944
[thunder rumbling]
320
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:02,156
[crowd gasping]
321
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,908
Stop! No pictures!
322
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,619
Unless it's in portrait mode!
323
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:07,452
Oh, God,
324
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,329
he looks like Hitler!
325
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:11,457
And not just because we compare
everyone to Hitler these days.
326
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,000
Ugh, come on!
327
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,542
[bell ringing]
328
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:17,129
You couldn't keep your opinions
to yourself, could you?
329
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,423
I literally
had to take five Jeepers
330
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,966
not to strangle you... Whoa!
331
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:24,803
Oh, sorry, I can't just conjure up
a whole new personality
332
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,056
whenever I want
like some sort of sexy witch.
333
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:28,557
Is that really
what you think of me?
334
00:13:29,808 --> 00:13:31,038
Hey, girlies!
335
00:13:31,039 --> 00:13:32,269
[snaps fingers]
336
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:36,690
Okay, since you know so much,
337
00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,567
why am I selling drugs?
338
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:40,235
Um, easy.
339
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,904
You're looking to rebel against
your overprotective parents
340
00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:43,697
but don't have
the balls to get pregnant.
341
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:45,031
Wrong!
342
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:46,951
I'm saving money
to hire a private investigator
343
00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:48,911
to find my biological family.
344
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:51,914
Yeah. Unexpected twist.
345
00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:53,206
Holy crap. Really?
346
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,875
Looking for
your family is a big deal.
347
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,584
Yeah, it's just
348
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:59,255
you know how
different I am from my moms.
349
00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:01,882
I need to
find out who I really am.
350
00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:03,341
Where do I come from?
351
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,802
And how is my hair
the color of buffalo wings?
352
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:08,222
I just always figured your parents
were Wilma Flintstone
353
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:10,140
- and Daniel Dae Kim.
- [laughs]
354
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,058
Freeze, person in baseball hat,
355
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:13,936
putting drugs
in my daughter's locker
356
00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:15,520
and other Oompa Loompa person!
357
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,773
- We know you're the candymen!
- Linda!
358
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:19,608
You're a cop
and not a teenager?
359
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:20,858
But I love you!
360
00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:22,361
What do we do?
I can't go to jail.
361
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,821
- Run!
- You know I can't.
362
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:24,863
I'd prefer jail.
363
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,091
- [electricity crackling]
- [both groaning]
364
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:33,872
♪ Imma keep it movin' ♪
365
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,332
[both panting]
366
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,480
♪ Coming with a game change ♪
367
00:14:38,481 --> 00:14:39,794
♪ Imma flip it my way ♪
368
00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:41,004
♪ Move to the rhythm like ♪
369
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,165
♪ I just caught a heat wave ♪
370
00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:44,549
[Daphne] I'm trapped!
371
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,218
- [screams]
- [thuds]
372
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:50,430
Oh, God!
373
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:51,599
♪ Imma get to work ♪
374
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,267
[both screaming]
375
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,852
♪ Watch how I do it yeah ♪
376
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,312
♪ I keep it movin' yeah ♪
377
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,398
♪ Imma Imma keep it movin' ♪
378
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:01,524
[groans]
379
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:03,088
- Oh, God, Daphne, no!
- [laughing]
380
00:15:03,089 --> 00:15:04,652
♪ I keep it movin' yeah ♪
381
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:06,780
♪ Watch the way
I keep it movin' ♪
382
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:08,052
[siren wailing]
383
00:15:08,053 --> 00:15:09,324
[screaming]
384
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,909
♪ I'mma keep movin' ♪
385
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:11,909
[both gasp]
386
00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:16,582
[tires screeching]
387
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,628
[both] Aw.
388
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,005
Baby want sheet cake?
389
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,052
- [banging on door]
- Hey, hurry up in there!
390
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,719
Give me the money!
391
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,389
You wish, guy from that "wanted" poster
all over town,
392
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,308
[grunting]
393
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,228
- All right. Don't make me come in the bathroom.
- [gasps]
394
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:40,126
I'm a thief, not a perve.
395
00:15:40,127 --> 00:15:42,024
- [gun cocking]
- Argh!
396
00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:43,066
Nothing can stop me
397
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,194
from buying Velma's love!
398
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:47,362
Oh, that might.
399
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,113
- [gun cocking]
- [woman] Hey!
400
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,367
It is Norville
from Norville Snacks.
401
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:52,743
Like, let him go, man.
402
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:57,538
Wait, you stoners
watch Norville Snacks?
403
00:15:57,539 --> 00:16:01,335
Damn it! This is exactly what happened
to my vlog about Lil Wayne.
404
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,921
God, where is that candyman?
405
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,215
I mean candyperson.
It could be anybody.
406
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:09,551
Even though we both
definitely know it's a man.
407
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,219
[cell phone chimes]
408
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,806
"I'm home and want to adopt a sick cat.
Where are you?"
409
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,036
- [gasps]
- [tires screeching]
410
00:16:15,037 --> 00:16:16,266
[Linda] A cat needs our love!
411
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,976
[Donna] Out of our way!
412
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,061
[screaming]
413
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,731
Whoa, that totally
worked, Velma.
414
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,066
[groans] A lotta help.
415
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,401
- [sighs]
- [grunts]
416
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:33,409
Oh, sorry. I was just wiping some garbage
slime off your cheek.
417
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:36,452
Oh. Yeah, me too. Slime.
418
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:40,499
Okay. Well, thankfully,
your moms are still hella bad detectives.
419
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,125
[laughs] Yeah,
420
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:45,546
they still think I spent $200
on a math tutor named Coachella.
421
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:46,963
[laughs]
422
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:49,133
Wait. Am I enjoying
hanging out with you again?
423
00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:51,217
Or is it the high
of moderate exercise?
424
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:54,096
I don't know. Maybe I'm not
the shallow monster you think I've become.
425
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,805
Maybe you
judge people so harshly
426
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,870
because it's easier
to feel right from afar
427
00:16:57,871 --> 00:16:59,935
than risk getting close
and being wrong.
428
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,602
Okay, Easy, Dr. Phil.
429
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,229
I'm the brains
of this operation.
430
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:05,607
You're just the look,
style and effortless charm.
431
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,818
We do make
a good team, don't we?
432
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:09,278
[cell phone chimes]
433
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:10,695
[sighs] Well,
434
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,282
speaking of teams,
someone's looking to score.
435
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,054
and if you
want your mom's file,
436
00:17:15,055 --> 00:17:16,827
you're going
to sell to them my way.
437
00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:18,661
[gulps]
438
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,373
That's him.
The guy in the beanie.
439
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:25,043
It's always
the guy in the beanie.
440
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,878
A beanie? It's 90 degrees out!
441
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,713
And I'm not supposed to assume
442
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,966
- he's hiding a bald spot?
- No! Less assuming!
443
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,384
More criminal behavior.
444
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,384
Go!
445
00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:34,969
Drugs here.
446
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,575
Get your fresh
hot drugs here.
447
00:17:36,576 --> 00:17:38,181
Hey, do you have
anything that can
448
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,809
make me feel better about
having ruined my life?
449
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:41,893
Wait, Dad?
450
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:42,957
Velma?
451
00:17:42,958 --> 00:17:44,021
[gasps]
452
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:47,024
Why were you
selling drugs?
453
00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:48,233
To make money, genius.
454
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,442
The real question is,
455
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,194
why were you
wearing a beanie?
456
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:52,987
Those are only
for television actors
457
00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:54,948
who want you to know that their roots
are still in theater.
458
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:57,993
Wait, you don't care
that I was buying drugs?
459
00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:59,327
That makes sense.
460
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,538
You gambled our future
on Fred Jones' innocence
461
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,331
and now drugs
are the only escape.
462
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:06,084
But what do you possibly need
drug dealing money for?
463
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,837
I already buy you all the inhalers
you could ever want.
464
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:11,005
[sighs] Oh, fine.
465
00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:14,051
Daphne will give me Mom's
cold case file for $500.
466
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:15,927
[sighs]
467
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:19,681
Okay, look, I'll give you
the $500 for her file
468
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:22,559
if you help me
prove Fred's innocent.
469
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,143
What? Are you crazy?
470
00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:26,354
Finding Fred innocent
would require me
471
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:29,274
to admit I'd incorrectly
pre-judged someone.
472
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:30,275
Wait.
473
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,323
Yeah. No, I was right.
474
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:39,450
Homeslice is like
Robert Durst level guilty.
475
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,496
Okay. But instead of just
staring at the evidence
476
00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:43,830
and swearing very loudly,
477
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,833
do you maybe want
to ask me some questions?
478
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:48,042
Yeah, I do.
Why frame me?
479
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:49,794
Yeah, exactly.
Why would I do that?
480
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,088
Before you just
started talking,
481
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,320
I thought you were
our housekeeper.
482
00:18:54,321 --> 00:18:56,583
Oh, my God,
could that be colder?
483
00:18:56,584 --> 00:18:58,965
You know what?
Now I'm in a snit.
484
00:18:58,966 --> 00:19:01,348
Let's regroup
after lunch. [claps]
485
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:04,935
Cutties.
486
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:08,689
Holy crap.
You are innocent.
487
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:10,649
He is?
488
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,402
Okay, here's
your $500 reward.
489
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,531
Good luck using it to coerce Velma
into dating you.
490
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:19,867
Keep it. The stoners
caught him, not me.
491
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,534
If I want Velma
to like me now,
492
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,453
I'm just gonna have to do it
the old-fashioned way.
493
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,851
Bet a friend
I can make her fancy.
494
00:19:25,852 --> 00:19:28,051
Ha! That's how
we got together.
495
00:19:28,052 --> 00:19:30,251
[Aman] Okay.
For my next witness,
496
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,462
I would like to call
the woman who caught Fred
497
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:35,257
my own daughter,
Velma Dinkley.
498
00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:39,594
[crowd murmuring]
499
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:41,179
Velma, do you swear
to tell the truth,
500
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,764
the whole truth
and nothing but the truth?
501
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,974
So help me,
Shonda Rhimes, I do.
502
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:48,186
Now, Velma, how long have you
known the defendant?
503
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,770
We met at lunch
in the eighth grade
504
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:51,607
when he confused me
for a beanbag chair.
505
00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:52,815
[chuckles] Classic.
506
00:19:52,816 --> 00:19:55,130
And what did you
think of my client?
507
00:19:55,131 --> 00:19:57,446
Honestly, that
he was super hot.
508
00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:58,988
[crowd murmuring]
509
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:01,678
But also that he was
just another entitled rich guy
510
00:20:01,679 --> 00:20:04,369
who might kill someone
because he has a tiny dong.
511
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,038
[all clapping]
512
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:12,294
[sighs] Unfortunately,
I was wrong about Fred.
513
00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:13,920
The way it's possible
514
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,631
I might have been wrong
about other people.
515
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,048
[gasps]
516
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,239
Weird. It feels like
she's looking right at me.
517
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,430
Why would Velma want
to send me a message, Daphne?
518
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:26,725
Fred Jones did not kill
those two girls.
519
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,809
[crowd gasping]
520
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:31,146
His whole life, Fred has
never had to lift a finger
521
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,272
to do anything.
He's been so pampered,
522
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:36,818
his body hasn't even felt the need
to fully mature. [chuckles] I mean,
523
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:39,071
Fred literally
can't feed himself.
524
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,071
[crowd laughs]
525
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,781
Uh, that's not true.
526
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,512
No, you... You just cut the food
and put it on the...
527
00:20:43,513 --> 00:20:45,243
W... What's the dumb thing
called? A dinglehopper!
528
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,954
Great. Show us.
529
00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:54,711
[grunts]
530
00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:57,339
[crowd laughing]
531
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:02,051
[stammers] Cutties.
Mother, cutties.
532
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,930
Oh, my God,
he is just like a little boy.
533
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,347
Exactly.
534
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:07,682
So tell me this.
535
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:10,852
How could someone
who can't even cut a steak
536
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,770
remove two girls' brains?
537
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:15,252
He couldn't!
Clearly Fred's innocent.
538
00:21:15,253 --> 00:21:17,244
But at what cost
to his reputation
539
00:21:17,245 --> 00:21:19,236
and that of his
family's business?
540
00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:20,486
[crowd laughs]
541
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:22,531
That lump has made
a mockery of us!
542
00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:24,824
Be nice. Our son is free.
543
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,952
I'd say that lump
did quite well.
544
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:34,084
Uh-oh.
545
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,273
That's not true.
546
00:21:36,274 --> 00:21:37,712
I'm a big boy.
547
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:40,007
A big boy who could
have removed those dumb girls' brains,
548
00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:41,821
no problem
if I wanted to!
549
00:21:41,822 --> 00:21:43,635
- [crowd gasps]
- Hear, hear!
550
00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:45,261
Guilty.
551
00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:46,805
Based on what?
552
00:21:47,305 --> 00:21:48,305
Hmm.
553
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:54,062
Wow. Blonde-haired people
have bad days, too.
554
00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:56,940
[sighs] Oh, my God,
what have I done?
555
00:21:56,941 --> 00:21:58,065
I'm ruined.
556
00:21:58,066 --> 00:21:59,192
They wouldn't even
let me represent
557
00:21:59,193 --> 00:22:00,902
a gymnastics coach now.
558
00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:02,029
[doorbell rings]
559
00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:04,405
[Velma] Daphne?
560
00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:06,073
What are you doing here?
561
00:22:06,074 --> 00:22:08,243
[gasps] Wait. Did you realize I stole
all your Zoinks?
562
00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:10,245
- Please don't kill me.
- No, you're good.
563
00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:12,247
I mean, return it
or I'll hurt you very badly,
564
00:22:12,248 --> 00:22:15,291
but I saw you on TV
and brought you this.
565
00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:18,335
[gasps] My mom's
cold case file! Thank you!
566
00:22:18,336 --> 00:22:20,630
Wait, do you not have
potentially fatal hallucinations
567
00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:22,591
when you try to solve
mysteries anymore?
568
00:22:22,592 --> 00:22:23,966
You remember that?
569
00:22:23,967 --> 00:22:26,053
You had one of your
first ones at my house
570
00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:27,428
back before...
571
00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:30,098
Well, your fear pee stain
is still on my rug.
572
00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:31,348
Well, I think I'm fine.
573
00:22:31,349 --> 00:22:32,808
Norville helped me
get over them
574
00:22:32,809 --> 00:22:36,104
in the last episode
of my hallucinations.
575
00:22:36,105 --> 00:22:37,480
- [screams]
- Velma!
576
00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:39,566
Are you hallucinating?
I'll put down newspaper.
577
00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:40,858
No, it's a clue.
578
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:42,985
The last place my mom's
cell phone pinged
579
00:22:42,986 --> 00:22:45,864
the night she went missing
was at Fred's house.
580
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,823
Damn it! I knew
that jerk was guilty.
581
00:22:47,824 --> 00:22:50,639
[chuckles] Too bad
you'll never know for sure.
582
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,455
Ahhh! I was wrong again!
I'm hallucinating! Help!
583
00:22:53,456 --> 00:22:57,042
No one can help
you now, Velma.
584
00:22:57,043 --> 00:23:00,399
Solving mysteries
only causes pain.
585
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,757
[Daphne] Velma.
What do I do? Velma!
586
00:23:03,758 --> 00:23:05,508
Try to make me laugh.
587
00:23:05,509 --> 00:23:07,718
Okay, I, uh, oh,
I don't know any jokes
588
00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:10,472
but my moms love my
impression of my Aunt Cindy.
589
00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:13,266
[mimicking] I am sad
my husband died.
590
00:23:13,267 --> 00:23:14,475
Anything?
591
00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:16,645
No. Try something else.
Anything. Quick!
592
00:23:16,646 --> 00:23:18,604
[laughing]
593
00:23:18,605 --> 00:23:19,980
Oh God, my heart!
594
00:23:19,981 --> 00:23:22,150
What do I do? What do I do?
What do I do?
595
00:23:28,657 --> 00:23:29,783
[both moaning]
596
00:23:33,453 --> 00:23:35,247
Did that work?
597
00:23:35,248 --> 00:23:36,331
Yeah.
598
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:39,334
[both moan]
599
00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:44,923
Great. Now even just
being myself won't work.
600
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,987
Romcoms can kiss my ass.
601
00:23:46,988 --> 00:23:49,052
[theme music playing]
602
00:24:01,064 --> 00:24:03,316
My name's Fred.
Who are you?
603
00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:06,006
They call me The Thief.
604
00:24:06,007 --> 00:24:08,696
What are you in for?
605
00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:11,741
Thieving. But I'm innocent.
606
00:24:11,742 --> 00:24:13,201
Aren't we all?
607
00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:15,328
Ooh! Bunk beds!
608
00:24:15,329 --> 00:24:16,788
Hoisties!
609
00:24:18,373 --> 00:24:19,666
[theme music playing]
44853
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