Original subtitles

Whoo-hoo! Falcon, did you see that turn?

Iron Man authorized Helicarrier pilot training only.

Not demolition derby.

Don't fry a chip over it, HERBIE.

Space is the perfect place for Wanda's driving lessons.

Whoa!

-Whoa! Whoa!

Piece of cake.

Hey, what does Turbo Thrust do?

-Don't touch that!

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, my head hurts.

Behind that force field, Thanos, lies the Timestone.

Why, thank you, master of the obvious.

The Scythian traitor told me that before he lost consciousness.

You know, Thanos, as your Soulstone,

I am obligated to warn you two of your enemies are headed this way.

You might consider, I don't know, hurrying.

When that stone is in my hands,

the one thing we'll have plenty of is time.

Oh, yes!

Et cetera.

With this Infinity Gauntlet,

I, Thanos, will rule the universe!

All right, Squaddies, time to Hero up!

Think of the possibilities.

I could send my enemies back to a time of non-breathable air,

cause a rift in the space-time continuum,

travel into the future to see how powerful I get.

I can't wait to test this baby!

Yeah, well, you're about to get your chance, big guy.

What a coinkidink.

This "Invaders" comic book is great.

I didn't know Captain America had a whole different

Super Hero team back in the '40s.

I think we've learned enough for one day.

HERBIE, plot me a course back to the jump station.

-Mm-hmm.

Thanos again!

The perfect test.

Let's see how the Super Hero Squad

fares a billion years in the past. Timestone!

Unauthorized teleportation.

Not allowed. No, no!

Really big no-no!

Hmm?

Ugh! Her again.

Let's try it on a pulsar.

Yeah, that's your answer for everything.

-What happened?

Where am I?

Wienerschnitzel. Dachshund,

Neunundneunzig luftballoons!

I don't understand,

but that says bad guy in any language.

Huh?

So then the scroll says, that's not my arm.

-What was it then? -I don't get it.

Ooh! Ooh! Hulk have joke.

Tell it.

Hulk forgot.

-Hey, Falcon. -You get the Helicarrier back

in one piece?

Yes, with an asterisk.

I can't find Scarlet Witch. It's like she disappeared.

I just located her Squaddie tracking chip somewhere in Europe.

Got her!

Yon schmatta be Scarlet Witch's cape.

But 'tis years old and mildewy with age.

We got time issues. She's somewhere in the past.

You mean Wanda is history?

Wienerschnitzel. Dachshund.

Neunundneunzig luftballoons!

Well, what do we have here?

-Get her!

-Let me go!

Nein, Americanish strudel.

The Red Skull does not let one go.

Tie her to the missile. Schnell!

So good of you to volunteer

to try out my new superweapon.

This of course is just the fun size.

The real one is much, much bigger.

Excuse me. Why are you the only guy here that speaks English?

I had a free block after chemistry.

Launch!

Auf Wiedersehen.

There! At least I have one hand to hex with.

You just can't count on improbability.

Help!

Hey-oh! I'm Captain America.

And these are the Invaders at your service, ma'am.

That's Bucky, young master of hand-to-hand combat.

Ha! Ho!

Over there's the Human Torch. Not strictly human,

but Android Torch didn't sound quite right.

Ha ha ha! See ya in the funny pages.

And Toro, with all the same powers as the Human Torch.

Now you're cooking with gas.

Looks like the Red Skull is at it again.

Let's turn up the heat on this hairy plan.

Thanks for the assist, but where's the rest of the Squad?

Begging your pardon, ma'am, this is my squad.

Yecch! The Invaders.

They're always so invasive.

Attack!

Hubba-hubba! They must have stopped rationing sugar the day they made you.

I don't even know what that means.

Take a powder, wise guy.

23 skidoo!

He disappeared!

Now we'll never know Red Skull's plan.

-I do. -Oh, you still here?

Run along, missy. You're safe now.

-No need to keep following me. -But I can help.

Yeah, something's fishy about this dame's getup, Cap.

I think she's really one of Red Skulls' pigeons.

I don't care if she's General MacArthur's jumper.

We've got the Second Great War to win.

The Second Great what?

Wait, wait, wait. What year is this?

-1942. -A.D.

Thanos' Timestone blast must have gotten mixed up with my hex powers

and sent me back into the past

to the time of the comic book I was reading.

Are you really from the future?

Do you all have jetpacks there?

Well, no, but we have the Internet.

We have to go back in time and get Wanda.

4Anyone got a spare time travel machine?

I wish I could help, but my last time travel experiment caused a...

Ooh! Paradox.

-Hulk, how did you...

Hulk like duckies.

Behold, Falcon. Yon solution is

-in the paper pages of this colorful tome. -A comic book?

Mail order devices both strange and mystical.

-Ooh! -Those don't work.

So sayeth thee.

Art thou not astounded by my sea lemurs?

Yea, 'tis a veritable civilization of philosophers and performers.

And oh, look, that one's a cowboy.

Get ye back to thine corral, mine seafaring scamp.

Whatever you say, thunderbub.

Hey, there is a time machine in here.

Pray to thine ad,

then all we must do is wait a mere six to eight weeks.

I've worked out a strategy plan to help us stop Red Skull.

Killer diller, but we're only here on an info gathering mission.

You have to think bigger. His rocket will blow up Europe.

We can at least blow up his rocket and his lab and him.

You like to turn up the heat.

That's because she's a villain.

Easy, little mister. You got a better idea?

A blanket with sleeves? No.

Cap, Toro, and I will tail the soldiers back to HQ.

Torch, you stay here and keep working on that hatch.

Bucky, you guard his back.

You heard the little lady. Hup hup hup!

Hmm. Methinks it looked bigger in the picture.

I've pinpointed Wanda's exact location in the timeline.

Smack dab in the middle of World War II.

Looks like you chumps need a guide.

A guide named Captain America.

Wait! What if the you Cap runs into the then Cap?

Allow me to explain. This is the universe.

This is the universe if you meet yourself.

-Any questions?

Yeah, a quick question. Might I get yon universe scrambled with cheese?

Just be careful. And whatever you do,

don't let Captain America run into himself.

Okay, time to embrace our past.

-Come on!

I... I... I paid for you!

You actually thought that mail order junk was gonna work?

-Quiet.

Others approaching.

Look out!

I thought I heard something.

Was it my heart burning for you?

I'm gonna go with no.

Getting the Scarlet Witch is gonna be harder than we thought.

Especially if Captain America keeps getting in the way. No offense, Cap.

Right you are. Let's vamoose.

No time for dancing. Let's go!

Aha! A secret weapons bunker.

-Oy!

Schadenfreude!

-Kaputski, kaputski. -Ja, Doberman Pinscher.

-Hildegard! -Red Skull.

Hup hup hup!

O Tannenbaum.

Good work, Squaddies.

Rocket launch sequence activated.

Launch in 50, 49,

48...

You planned this. You made us waste time

burning through that door so Red Skull...

-Oh, pshaw. -We have to find out

where that rocket is launching from.

Have at thee!

Hey, what does this lever do?

Captain America!

Hold it right there, Red Numbskull.

Of course.

Once I launch my rocket and destroy the continent!

Auf Wiedersehen.

Oh!

Now no one can stop the launch.

Not even Captain America.

Oh.

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen,

good-bye!

Hurry, he's making a getaway.

We can't all follow him.

Someone has to stop the rocket.

I will. You guys go.

She's left us no choice.

Huh? What?

Wasn't he just down there?

All right, Wanda, time to prove you're a Hero.

-Wreck that rocket... -There is another option.

Finally. We thought you'd never get rid of him...

us... me... Wow.

Can the reunion wait?

We kinda got a literal ticking clock.

Right you are. Squaddies, who's ready to go home?

Me thought thou wouldst never ask.

Now yon rocket willst not launch, but explode here.

To me, time ma...

Hmm. Mayhap the fighting was a bit hard on it.

You think we should have waited on the rocket

until we knew we could leave?

Don't worry, I got this... I hope.

By Heimdall's hairy hind quarters!

I have not seen the light!

I want my mommy!

It's failed!

My great plan failed.

I guess that's the last we'll see of the old Red Skull.

Well said, Bucky, and I know none of us will ever forget

-that girl of the future, dear...

What was I saying?

Oh, I love a happy ending.