Original subtitles

(crewman) Loading dock four, ready for pick up.

(Hulk) Aww, Hulk miss Shiny.

Yeah, I know, we all miss the Silver Surfer, big guy.

But the Super Hero Squad is kaput.

Now, that there isn't a new super-villain throw down everyday

it makes sense for SHIELD to move back into their helicarrier.

Yeah, Dr. Doom hath been in jail for months, dude.

Did I just say "dude"?

See you around, bucket head.

(sighs)

(Thor strains)

(Iron Man) Good luck, Thor.

(Thor) Verily.

(door closes)

(woman giggling)

Time to go? I had to check on something. When can I come back?

Soon as pigs fly or we become SHIELD agents.

(siren wailing)

Or I guess we come back if there some other big,

big cosmic threat that took all of us to defeat.

(Falcon) Oh, that's not gonna happen, right? It's crazy.

(craft approaching)

(stones rumbling)

Oh.

At last, the lost treasure of Ypsilantis!

And most of all, the Infinity Gauntlet.

Some assembly required.

(laughs)

Soon the whole universe will be my plaything.

And I don't take very good care of my toys.

(laughing)

With this Infinity Gauntlet

I, Thanos, will rule the universe!

All right, Squaddies, time to Hero Up.

(theme song playing)

♪ When the bad guys are out ♪

♪ All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along ♪

♪ But they're always Fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce, Thanos ends in tears ♪

♪ When Iron Man Joins the fight ♪

♪ Falcon darts in from the sky ♪

♪ Scarlet Witch by his side ♪

♪ Thor's hammer Has thunder's might ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad ♪

(groans)

(Thanos laughs)

With the Infinity Gauntlet, I can destroy to my dark little heart's content.

-(Captain Marvel) Not so fast, Thanos. -Huh?

A conqueror of a thousand suns type like you

could use that thing to start another galactic war.

Well, well, looks who's here.

Mar-Vell of the Kree Empire.

That's Captain Marvel, asteroid clown.

I was on my way to a peace conference when I saw you steal it.

Now, drop the glove before these Nega-bands negate you.

(Thanos) You have bigger things to worry about

than your peace treaty with the Skrulls.

(grunts)

(rock cracking)

(snickers)

(cries out)

(chuckles)

I was holding back.

(mocking)

(burps)

(groans)

(strains)

If I have to pull this Soul Stone over...

Don't even think... (strains)

Tight fit.

-Yeah. -(Captain Marvel) Hey.

Where am I?

(Thanos) Shh, shh, trapped in the Soul Stone.

I'll explain later.

Another champion gone.

Whew. Soon I'll have the power

to grind whole chunks of the sky into paste.

(Soul Stone) Hmm? Am I supposed to say something here?

I'm monologuing.

Marvel is due at the peace talks

between his Kree Empire and the Skrulls.

(laughs)

Well, when he doesn't show up

the Skrulls will assume it's a trick and retaliate.

(laughs)

Thousands of worlds will be lost in a universal war.

Ooh, I really do bring the party with me.

(laughing)

Ah, finally I have a little time to catch up

on some pressing business correspondence.

First, I'll un-friend Juggernaut.

Now, dear Monongahela Metal Foundry

I am shocked and appalled... That's good.

...by the shoddy workmanship of...

-Whoa! -(Ms. Marvel) Iron Man, we have to hurry.

S.H.I.E.L.D. has been using a sub-geometric quantum

radio-telescope to listen in on the Kree-Skrull peace talks.

Yeah, yeah, sure. That's the Kree Empire. That's the Skrull Empire.

And there's Earth right in the middle. Whoa.

If this war gets any worse, Earth will be caught in the crossfire.

Thank you. Captain Marvel is supposed to be above

the Skrull throne world right now, but he's gone missing.

Boy, isn't that just like a Kree.

(powering up) I want the Squad to back me up on a diplomatic mission...

-Uh, I won't do that if I were you... -To calm the Skrulls down

before there's an intergalactic conflict.

(grunts)

Oh, dang.

Two itty-bitty problems.

There isn't a Super Hero Squad anymore

and you can't just fly the helicarrier to another galaxy.

Hey, ow, ow.

S.H.I.E.L.D. has a secret jump station.

Secret jump station?

What's a jump station?

Wish us luck.

(Captain America) Uh, good luck and play nice, you two.

-Meet your new space navigator. -(beeps)

H.E.R.B.I.E, the Fantastic Four's cute yet comedic robot?

No, H.E.R.B.I.E, the singing cowboy.

Want to see a rope trick?

(laughs) Owned.

(Iron Man) Hey, guys.

Ms. M needs us for one last mission, shell head.

-(Thor) What say thee? -I say thee... whoa!

Does that mean yes? Help me out here.

Ooh, the genius of Dr. Doom in solitary confinement.

Villainville destroyed.

My life in ruin!

Well, at least in here I'm free of those two idiots

M.O.D.O.K. and Abomination.

Ooh.

-Ah, lunch time. -(chain rattles)

Huh? Fools!

Oh, if I had any weapons left in this armor

I'd roast my jailers alive and finally have a decent meal.

-(loud rumble) -Ooh.

(Captain America) Teleporter rift on stand-by.

Prepare for jump in 20 seconds.

Ooh, what's this?

I'll ask again. What is a jump station?

Welcome to age of teleportation.

(Dr. Doom) Oh, my, my, my.

Long-range teleporter.

Whoa, where are we?

Sweet honey in the rock.

'Tis space.

Ooh, where's space?

Not just any space, deep space.

(farting sounds)

-Hey, what's that? -(alarm blaring)

(long fart)

Huh?

Be right back. I need to check on something.

Uh... uh.

-(squeaky fart) -(laughs)

Aah, we're leaking air.

The ship wasn't designed for space travel.

Slow leak. Probably fine.

Probably fine?

Unidentified Kree vessel surrender at once.

The Skrull Imperial Forces have you surrounded.

(Iron Man) Good job, H.E.R.B.I.E, "probably fine."

(Dr. Doom) Whatever the Super Hero Squad is up to it's big!

Huh? You don't just teleport across the galaxy for kicks.

Something up there is ripe for plunder.

And I want it.

Although, what would Red Skull do?

Of course, of course!

I'll break out of here follow the Squaddies into space

destroy them, and take their stuff.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, my inspirational poster.

(screams)

(Wrecker) Thunderball! We're through!

(Thunderball) Yeah, Wrecker, that pickaxe you stole

from the prison dentist really did the...

Oh, dang.

Hello, boys.

Bustin' out, I see.

Mind if I tag along?

(grunts)

What are you, deficient or something?

We trusted you on that Infinity Sword job and you cheated us.

(strains)

Yeah, after we trusted you.

Well, obviously, I can't cheat you before you trust me.

I never thought of that.

Ow!

Fools!

-Huh? -What did you say?

(chuckles)

How foolish of me to put myself in the way

of your ball and chain. (chuckles)

-What's the plan? -I don't suppose you have a crowbar?

Fresh out.

Uh, right, right, right.

Listen up.

We break through this wall

and jump three stories to the ground, see?

-Oh. -Then while the guards are distracted

with shooting at us, we break through the outer wall, right?

Do go on.

And then we do the same with the outer, outer wall.

And the next outer wall and so on

and so forth till we get to the street.

-I see. -Then we wait for a bus.

When the bus comes, we hijack it and we drive over to Jersey.

Well, well, well, well, my, my, my, my.

That certainly is the worst plan I have ever heard.

It's a first draft! What do you want?

You kept your brains in that crowbar, didn't you?

Now, huddle up, kids. And let Daddy Doom come up with a scheme that works.

(Super-Skrull) Give up, Kree.

Super-Skrull demands it.

(Ms. Marvel) Let me be diplomatic and non-threatening.

We aren't Kree. We're looking for a boyfriend.

I mean, my boyfriend. I mean, Captain Marvel.

Dang it! Now I'm flustered.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait just a minute.

Your imaginary boyfriend in space is Captain Marvel?

Ooh?

Ha, Wait, wait, wait.

She's got a boyfriend?

OK, moving on.

-She's not free? -Yeah, we get it.

-She's not free? -Oh, big news.

Yeah, I'll alert the press.

Be this the down-low of earthly lore?

You guys are so immature. Let it go!

Where's space?

(sighs) I give up.

(both) Whoa!

Hands up, Kree scum.

-Earth scum, you big dumb... -(guns click)

Wait, wait, no fighting. We're supposed to be diplomats.

Yeah, no fighting.

-Just smashing! -Ah!

Hulk, no!

-(clattering) -(blows landing)

(scuffling continues)

The rest of you, show us your hands.

(both cry out)

(Skrulls groan)

Make sure they stay put.

We got to stop this before it gets serious.

You mean more serious, right?

-Deck five's clear. -It's a very big boat.

Hulk and Super-Skrull could be...

Huh? Oh, where spaceman go?

(grunts)

Ooh. Spaceman sucker punch Hulk.

-(roars) -(growls)

Huh?

Hurt like... like heck!

Have you forgotten that the Super-Skrull

has all the power of Earth's Fantastic Four?

Hulk not remember what Hulk forgot.

(strains)

Ow!

(yells)

(groans)

(woman groans)

Ow.

(roars)

I am through with you, monster.

-(Ms. Marvel) You need a bigger laser. -(both) Huh?

Yeah, the little ones just make him grouchy.

Hulk, we're in the middle of a delicate mission.

Violence only exacerbates an already precarious situation.

Huh? Hulk no understand big words.

No fight because Hulk trust yellow hair.

Hulk trust yellow hair.

Huh?

(Super-Skrull) Let's go.

You are all prisoners of the Skrull Empire.

Don't remind me. Psst, H.E.R.B.I.E.

Stash the ship behind a moon and stand by.

(beeps)

(groans and coughs)

Why does it got to be dirty laundry?

Because, Thunderball

the dirty stuff is what they carry out.

You can hide in the clean fluffy laundry

(yells) when you break into prison.

Slams your clams.

Uh. (whistling)

(beeps)

(gasps)

(alarm blares)

Whoa!

(Dr. Doom) Just a few more yards. Run!

(strains)

(Captain America) ♪ Oh beautiful, for tasing spies ♪

♪ For Amber and Lorraine ♪

Hup! Hup! Ho!

(cries out)

I'll take it from here, men.

(both grunt)

Wrecker, Thunderball

hold it right there.

-You call that a plan? -Yeah.

Tell it to the Warden.

(Dr. Doom yells)

Aha, there you are.

Oh, I haven't forgotten you, Dr. Doom.

In fact, I want to thank you for stopping these two from escaping.

(loud crashing)

(Dr. Doom) Nuts!

Look at the bright side, now you'll only be serving 10 life sentences.

But I...

(whistles Yankee Doodle)

Hup, hup, hup, hup. Hup hup, hup! Hey-oh.

Oh, you'll be rid of Doom sooner than that.

I can't let the Super Hero Squad

tour the galaxy while I rot in jail.

We're in jail?

Aww, Hulk always hounded

-and hunted... -(stomach growls)

...and hungry!

No prison can hold Hulk!

Hulk, the walls have one-way inertia fields.

When you hit them, they bounce your own force right back at you.

(yells)

Blah, puny force.

Hulk smash!

(grunts)

(cries)

At least he's making an effort.

We need to bust out of here.

What we need is a brilliant save.

If only I can reverse the polarity

of the field with a well-placed unibeam burst.

(grunts and groans)

Ask me, the polarity is fine the way it is.

Any other ideas?

Hey, guys, I wasn't sure whether I should mention this

but we've got an ace in the hole.

Listen...

(door opens)

Oops, to be continued.

These are the prisoners, Princess Anelle.

I know that.

The question is how many of them

must I vaporize before the others talk?

-(yells) -Ooh.

(Thanos) With those meddling Earthlings out of the way,

I'll make certain that the Skrulls and Kree declare

an all out intergalactic war that will destroy the entire galaxy!

And best of all, I, Thanos, will have a front row seat.

(laughs)

Yeah.

(laughing)

(theme music playing)