Original subtitles

(Dr. Doom) No! You want a piece of Doom?

Do you? Come on and get me.

Yes! Bring it on, Baby Face! A-ha!

That's it. Run!

(screams)

(stifles scream)

Hello, Mother.

Son. Oh, I was just telling my girlfriends down here

how you never call.

Oh, Mother.

(Doom) With that Infinity Sword, I will rule the universe.

All right, Squaddies! Time to Hero Up!

♪ When the bad guys are out All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along ♪

♪ But they're always fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce ♪

♪ Dr. Doom ends up in tears ♪

♪ When Iron Man joins the fight ♪

♪ Falcon darts in from the sky Silver Surfer by his side ♪

♪ Thor's hammer has thunder's might ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! ♪

I hate those Squaddies!

So, you finally thought to look in on your old mother.

Ha! This is an occasion.

No, Mommy. I didn't call

because you were imprisoned in another dimension.

Oh, then you knew I was here.

Well, which is why I conquered the dimension...

to free you.

Well, it took you long enough.

No, never enough.

(Thor) I say thee nay, foul beast!

A, B, A, A, B.

Ha! The mighty Thor will bring thine digitally rendered castle down.

Oh, come now, Yost.

Saveth some med-packs for the rest of us.

(beeps)

-(man) Arise, son of Odin. -Aah!

(Thor) Father! What art thou doing here?

The better question is, what are you doing here?

I have come to tell you that your time on Earth is over.

You must return to Asgard.

But I can't go back.

The Super Hero Squad needs me. The Earth needs me.

You have a responsibility as a prince,

to serve Asgard by your father's side.

Yes, but Father, I don't want to go back.

You forget yourself, Thor. You are a prince.

If thou seekest multi-player battle, look to Asgard.

The Frost Giants will oblige.

(sighing) As you say, Father. Thor heeds the call of duty.

(gasps)

(Father) When the sands of this hourglass have passed,

your time will be up, Thor.

Put your mortal affairs in order, Thor,

and say your goodbyes, Prince of Asgard.

Okay, just ten more minutes.

(Silver Surfer) So, go ahead, tell me what happened.

-I asked her out to dinner... -Right.

-...and said meet me at this place. -Uh-huh!

-Are you still with me? -I'm with you. I got it.

And, uh, you know, it was 8:00, and then it was 9:00,

and then it was 10:00.

-Uh-huh. -Right? You still with me?

She never showed up.

Oh, good. Thor, you're here.

The Surfer and I were just discussing a new problem.

(laughs)

(Iron Man) This is Chthon.

Chthon is the ruler of another dimension.

Chthon's Place.

A dimension of shadows

with a neighborhood-y feel and rising property values.

Oh, it's a marvelous place to raise the little monsters.

He was the ruler,

until Dr. Doom came along and took it from him.

I've come to ask for help in getting my realm back.

I do not trust our visitor.

After all, the enemy of our friend's enemy

is no friend of mine.

(Chthon sniggers)

I get what you mean, sort of.

We better run a background check.

Dr. Strange. Paging Dr. Strange.

(groans)

Aah! Da!

So, what's your prognosis, Doctor?

He's evil.

We kind of figured that out.

-What can you tell us about him? -Right.

Chthon's power on Earth is channeled through

an ancient book called the Darkhold .

I have the Darkhold locked away, so he's powerless here.

But in his own dimension, he's all-powerful,

with the power to reshape reality.

Not anymore.

Dr. Doom took all my powerful powers.

The Darkhold prevents Chthon

from bringing his powerful powers to Earth, but not Doom.

If Doom had those powerful powers,

he wouldn't need the Infinity Sword.

He'd be supremely all-powerful.

Forsooth. That's a powerful lot of powerful power.

(Dr. Doom cackles)

-(vacuum cleaner turns on) - Mother! I am laughing here.

-What a dump! -(Dr. Doom grunts)

Just making myself comfortable, sweetheart. Don't mind me.

I vacuum to fill the lonely void in my life

that you gave me instead of grandchildren.

Ooh!

(gasps)

Oh! Who are your friends, walking on my clean carpet?

They are not ... They are not friends, Mother.

They are henchmen. I pay them to hench!

If you have to pay them, then they're not true friends, are they?

It's a pleasure to meet you. I am Coco Von Doom.

No, your name is not Coco.

Cynthia Von Doom is just too drab.

You are one to talk, Doctor.

If memory serves,

you were expelled before you got your degree.

(Coco) Not like that nice Reed Richards boy.

Ooh, Mother.

Call me Coco.

I had better get back to work.

I have to put plastic slip covers on all of Vicky's tacky furniture.

Oh, insufferable woman!

Ah-ha-ha.

Shouldn't talk to your mommy like that,

darling little Vicky.

I will return when I am able to bring all of Chthon's powers with me.

In the meantime, your orders are simple...

Keep my mommy happy.

And how in the darn heck are we supposed to do that?

You figure it out.

(Iron Man) Dr. Strange doesn't have the power to transport all of us,

and while we're gone, Doom is still a threat to the city.

I chose you based on Falcon's speed factor,

Hulk's strength factor, and Wolverine's animal factor.

Captain America will be in charge.

Roger. We'll safeguard the city. Count on us.

Aw, Hulk majorly bummed.

Ah, I hate patrol.

Yeah, who am I going to snikt?

This is going to be boring.

Would it sweeten the pot if I told you

that Stark Industries has some shiny new toys for you?

(Captain America) Hey-o!

Ooh!

(Hulk) Oh, sparklies.

(Falcon) Ooh, I take it back. I love patrol.

Forget patrol. Let's race.

Halt. Traffic safety first.

The Super Hero Squad doesn't carry enough liability insurance.

The incantation is complete. We're ready to depart on our mission.

Cruel fate. 'Tis my last mission.

I can only transport five of us to the other dimension.

If only I had the Darkhold , it'd let me transport everyone.

Ah, forget it, Chthon. That evil book is in a safe place.

(Chthon) Hey, the Darkhold,

it's underneath your couch?

Uh, it holds great power.

Power enough to balance out the wobbly end of my love seat.

(chanting in Latin)

(in English) Home, sweet home. Beautiful, isn't it?

Yeah, except for the view and the smell.

-Ugh! -Do you get cable?

(snarls)

I was right not to trust Chthon.

(snarls)

What, these? I created them out of the fabric of nothingness.

I call them Chthonadons.

You named them after flowers?

Can you control them?

Looks like Doom's already controlling them.

Squaddies, time to Hero Up!

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! ♪

Onward!

By the hoary hosts of Hoggoth,

I summon the crimson bands of Cyttorak.

Would that father Odin could see me now.

To thee I say nay, evil chrysanthemum.

Have at thee.

(snarls)

(snarls)

Dr. Doom's got more evil control mojo than I'd have thought.

And if we don't de-mojo him, he'll be able to flood millions

of these monsters into our dimension.

(Dr. Doom cackles)

Yes!

-No. -(cell phone rings)

Private number? What the... Hello?

And who dares to reach out and touch Doom?

(Coco) Oh, well, is that any way to talk to your mother?

-I don't think so. -Mommy?

Since you bought me this cell phone,

I want you to get your money's worth.

Well, you know, Mommy, inter-dimensional costs extra.

(Coco) Wait a minute.

I'm going under a bridge.

(imitates static)

Oh, Vicky, darling, darling, darling.

(Coco) My bedroom is drafty.

The kitchen appliances are ancient.

The top 40 radio stations around here play offensive lyrics.

I like offensive lyrics, Mommy.

Oh! Ha!

Do you? Young man,

you have become very disrespectful.

She never stops complaining.

Hey, at least she's yelling at Doom instead of at us.

(cell phones ring)

(both) Private number?

All right, which of you fools gave my mother

my cell phone number?

(both) He did it.

This is your last warning.

Keep her happy, or else I will fire you

and replace you with Paste-Pot Pete or Unus the Untouchable.

Got... it?

I can't spend more time with her.

She makes me want to hurt people,

and not in a good way.

Relax, my big smelly, I have a plan.

We take her shopping to Super Hero City, then ditch her.

(both chuckle)

(Falcon) Woo-hoo!

Fifty-five saves lives.

I'm going for some major air.

Hold on, Broccoli Boy.

Hold on to...

Whoa!

Oops, I lost the Hulk.

We better backtrack and find him.

Oh! Hulk crashed.

Hey, where everybody go?

Uh-oh.

I don't see any outlet mall.

Look closer, Momma Doom.

-(crash) -(Hulk grunts)

Hulk smash!

(screaming)

(speaking indistinctly)

(Coco) Get off my foot.

What, no fight back?

After the day we've had with her, take us to jail.

Who dares to interfere with my shopping day?

Face the wrath of Coco Von Doom.

Hulk not afraid of scary old lady in dumb mask.

You underestimate me.

I have the power to correct others' behavior

through guilt and nagging.

(laughs) Hulk no hit girl.

Oh? Then let's all be manly.

Oh!

Stand up straight. Act like you got some sense.

Call your sister, she's lonely.

Coco smash.

You got schooled.

Doom is inside, but we'll never get in.

Walls, magical traps, monsters guarding the perimeter.

My fortress is invincible.

By an artist's awesome hands, take us where my mind commands.

Do you often appeal to artists?

Show people... they like drawing the cape.

(yelps)

(thuds)

You know, that's the fourth wall we've broken.

Let us try for five.

Follow me. Doom should be this way.

(Dr. Doom laughs)

Ah! The Super Hero Squad.

How fortuitous!

I haven't mastered all the powers of this dimension yet,

but I won't need them to squash you.

Not when I can have someone else do it.

(snarls)

That is the number one reason

we don't ever want Doom controlling our dimension.

Duly noted.

(Doom) Farewell, Super Hero Squaddies.

(Dr. Doom laughs)

Cumba lata vista.

(in English) We need a plan.

Okay, I'm open to any suggestions. Don't be shy.

Let my last minutes as a Squaddie be not for naught.

I'll make you, foul beast,

fall before the mighty Thor.

No. That's rude.

(Chthon chuckles)

(Coco) And when is the last time you got a haircut?

Hulk don't hit girls.

I'm only doing this because I love you.

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen. Ha-ha!

Especially if these two destroy each other.

Any last words?

Uhh! No.

You have terrible table manners.

Your pants are shameful.

When will you find a nice girl and settle down?

Come to my house and run me a bath.

You loved your father more than you love me.

Cut your toe nails, make your bed, change your underwear.

Why won't you scrape the burrs off my heels?

(roars)

Oh, pooh!

Please have amnesia. Please have amnesia.

I hate magic.

Hurry, Dr. Strange, my legs have fallen asleep.

Zounds! What was that strange energy?

Ponder it later, my friend. We have to stop that monster.

(chortles)

Yes!

Give me back my fortress, my realm, my powers.

Fool! You are no match for Doom. Now I will destroy...

(cell phone rings)

Oh! I have to take this.

(Coco) Vicky, it's Coco.

I've got a splitting headache,

and I can't seem to find anything in your castle.

Oh, Mother, you could not have picked a worse time.

Where are MODOK and Abomination?

They're hiding or something. Oh, which reminds me...

I was cleaning out your room

and I found a containment unit full of dingy old fractals.

My Infinity fractals?

(Coco) Wait a minute. I'm going under a bridge.

No, Mother. You cannot throw out my fractals.

Oh, but they're broken, darling.

Oh! Listen, I'm in a hurry.

What say I give you your realm back? You control everything.

I'll just take enough magic to get me out the door,

and one free favor.

Really? I'm on the ropes here.

Do we have a deal or not?

Okay. Okay. Ha-ha-ha.

What's the favor?

I'll tell you after we destroy the Super Hero Squad.

Have I mentioned that I did not trust Chthon?

Not since the commercial.

(grunts)

Again shocked by strange energy, just as before.

Doctor, Thor suspecteth that magical energy doth flow

within the walls of the castle.

There shouldn't be.

Unless the castle...

Wait for it...

Isn't really a castle.

Ho, Monster. Follow me, if thou can.

Quickly now, Foul Monster. The mighty Thor hath not all day.

Only one column remains.

Oh, I despise this part. The undignified retreat.

Zounds.

Apologies, Father, but I cannot go with you.

We are not having this discussion again, Thor.

Please, hear me. Yes, I can do good in Asgard,

but I can do more good with the Super Hero Squad.

My comrades and I, we win battles, defeat evil,

knock castles to the ground.

If you could only see.

Yes, I have seen.

I have been watching you.

You've done good work, Thor.

Good work that brings glory to Asgard.

Very well. You may stay with your friends.

Ah-ha, sweet. I'll make you proud of me, Father.

I already am, Prince of Asgard.

And please tell Mother I feel fine.

(Dr. Strange) Time for us to go home.

Hey, what was that favor that Chthon had to do for Doom?

Guess we'll never know.

(Coco) So, my big fancy villain son, Vicky,

banished me back to this realm.

But it's not so bad here. I like the company.

My son never calls me,

and when he does, he's always eating something.

Oh, I know. My Vicky never calls,

and he shut off my inter-dimensional cell phone.

Huh! But I found a way around it.

(Dr. Doom) You are now Friendlybook friends with Coco Von Doom.

Coco Von Doom wants to chat.

Coco Von Doom wants to play cribbage.

Coco Von Doom took a quiz.

Oh! You have been tagged in baby pictures

by Coco Von Doom.

(yelps)

Oh, my mommy is evil.

(theme music playing)