Original subtitles

Hi, heroes. What brings you down to City Hall?

I got a parking ticket.

At ease, Wolverine.

Mr. Mayor, we want to wish you luck on your reelection campaign.

Oh, thanks.

Without superheroes like you,

Super Hero City would need a new name.

Roger that.

That's the kind of keen insight that makes you a great mayor, Mayor.

No, I really mean it.

But the election should be easy enough. Nobody else wants the job.

Can't understand why, though.

Maybe because of all this paperwork?

Oh, these are just Wolverine's parking tickets.

What?

Sorry, Mr. Mayor.

Wolverine will pay those tickets.

Yeah... What?

Now, I need to charge an extra paperwork fee.

I know you'll do what's fair, Your Honor.

I can't think of anybody who'd do a better job.

You need to get out more, Ms. Marvel.

Egghead!

You ovoid outlaw.

What brings you here to darken our door?

Oh, please.

I'm not here as part of some diabolical scheme.

I'm here because you need me...

What's that buzzing?

To lead Super Hero City

to a new era of greatness...

Doesn't anybody else hear that?

I don't hear anything.

- Do you hear anything? - I don't know.

I'm here to help every mutated, enhanced or irradiated citizen

reach their full potential.

I, Egghead, announce my candidacy

for mayor of Super Hero City.

Your bulbous brain is scrambled, Eggy.

Nobody's going to believe that...

That there's a better man for the job.

You've got our support, 110%.

Yeah... What?

You can't... I mean...

Huh? Oh, man, this has got to be a bad yolk.

With that Infinity Sword, I will rule the universe.

All right, Squaddies! Time to Hero Up!

♪ When the bad guys are out All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along ♪

♪ But they're always fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce ♪

♪ Dr. Doom ends up in tears ♪

♪ When Iron Man joins the fight ♪

♪ Falcon darts in from the sky Silver Surfer by his side ♪

♪ Thor's hammer has thunder's might ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! ♪

I hate those Squaddies!

I can't believe how easy it went.

This technology gives me a triple dose of super charisma.

It makes them like me, really like me.

Oh, charisma my green cape.

Oh, high school would have been a lot different with this.

Ha! Take that, Suzie Benedict.

Sorry, Gail Florentine.

You use, Leanne Foo-Young.

By graduation, I'd have been halfway to world domination.

Yes.

It's nice to be liked.

You like me, don't you, Dr. Doom?

You'll do anything I want...

Even give up your throne.

Don't.

Sorry, sorry. Sorry, Doctor.

Try it again, and I will poach you to atoms.

Y-Yes, sir.

We'll blanket the city with commercials,

to extend your charisma control over the entire city.

No citizen will be able to resist voting for you.

Once you are mayor,

you will have the legal power

to tear down the city

until you find every fractal,

and bring them to me.

Tear down?

Maybe I could have a little time

to take the reins of power out for a test drive...

Maybe appoint villains to keep positions in the city.

Okay, okay!

Wreck everything, yes. Find the fractals.

Your votes used to go to the Mayor,

but Egghead is now the new player.

His ideas, you'll find, are just the right kind.

He's the answer to all of your prayers.

Syncopation, baby.

Uh, Hulk don't understand.

Whoa, tough crowd.

Think we can turn this cynical voting public around, Ms. M?

Sure. Just like Egghead, we'll keep our sunny side up.

Hulk don't want new mayor.

Hulk want new shirt and shoes, and kitty!

Tell it to Santa Claus, Hulk.

Something's fishy with Cap and Ms. Marvel.

Santa? Hulk been really good.

Huh. Man.

Got to be some sort of mind control.

Huh. I'm checking for hypno-rays, mental interference,

brain radiation, witch doctors...

They're all coming up clean.

Could it be they actually like the guy?

Maybe that bald look is working for him.

He's come to our heroed-up city

to wipe out the nitty and gritty.

So hold onto your pants and give Egghead a chance.

You'll find him quite charming and witty.

Hello, citizens. It's a pleasure to speak to you today.

Villain on-board. Get Egghead.

Get big head!

Hulk smash.

- Yuck. - Dude.

Stand down, heroes.

I granted Egghead a security clearance,

so he could share his wonderful ideas with you.

Whack me with your shield? That was your first move? Really?

Please, let the man speak, in the name of democracy.

All right, let's give the criminal mastermind one minute.

Then we get him.

Um, very generous of you, Iron Man.

I'll just need a moment to say

this is the greatest city on Earth.

Thanks to you heroes, it's healthy, clean and safe.

Hard-working heroes should be rewarded

for routinely risking their lives,

day in and day out.

I'm talking plaques...

Ways the city can show its appreciation.

Tax deductions for armor polish.

Discounts for costume repair and hair care products.

Ah, sweet!

Um...

Eh, uh. Oh?

And ice cream. Lots and lots of ice cream.

Egg man for mayor.

Ready? Okay.

Egghead for mayor!

Egghead for mayor! Egghead for mayor!

Hi, Egghead here. Look at this.

Can your current mayor help when things get sticky?

No.

Are you getting this, camera guy?

Look at this.

He falls right apart.

Underneath, it's going to mildew and stink,

just like the city government.

You want the stain of corruption gone?

I'll clean up the mess

and leave you with the fresh, breezy scent of democracy.

Agh! Does your TV always make that weird sound?

Beats me, effendi. I was born tone-deaf.

We can't all have super-sensitive hearing.

What? Huh? You say something?

Egghead has commercials on every channel,

and I can't even afford to make one.

Well then, maybe you got to concentrate on meeting the people in person.

Do I have to? Everybody shakes hands so hard.

And the baby kissing...

Those little monsters are huge germ factories.

And I don't think half of them have even had their shots.

No, no. You know, I'm going to just sit here

and do my job the best I can.

Thank you, Super Hero City,

for this wonderful victory.

Perhaps I misplaced my trust.

Now, welcome your new public safety commissioner

and chief of police.

Thanks.

Whoa!

They'll just be enforcing a few new regulations.

Little changes. Miniscule.

You'll hardly notice them at all.

Bad news for you, villains.

Looks like you're outnumbered.

Feel the stars and stripes.

Did anyone get the number of that shield? Ow!

Carry on.

I'm afraid that's going to be a littering violation.

Litter? What litter?

- Them. - But they aren't...

You need to go downtown to pay the fine, or go to jail.

Please, I am no law-breaker.

Yeah, tell it to the judge. Too bad. March along.

Hop, hop, hop.

You're too slow, Melter.

Pay the fine, or go to jail.

- Your choice. - What?

Disturbing the peace.

You punks with your 5,000-watt boot jets

and your hydraulics and switches.

No respect for the law.

Loser.

Ow!

You was on fire.

City code 977-G, section F.

The fire code.

Clear violation thereof.

Sorry to put you out.

He said put out. Toodles, Torchie.

I don't know, Wolvie. This looks awfully spooky.

Look, you're the only other guy not dancing to Egghead's tune.

But we got to get you a power boost

so you can back me up.

Let's see if Dr. Strange can hook you up with something magical.

I'm like to help you out with your second career, Mr. May...

Uh, I mean... Sorry, what do I call you now?

Just Mr. Citizen, I guess.

The truly powerful tools of sorcery require years of study.

Well, let me see.

Oh!

Ooh, my TV magic cards from Marshall Brodine.

Not much here I...

No, no, no.

What's this doing here?

I have these magical musical shoes.

Yo, smack me, daddy.

I feel trendy... And musical, too.

No more MP3 player for me.

What do they do?

What do they... Well, just that.

Wow. Terrifying.

Oh, an invisibility cloak.

You know, I didn't see that one.

Yeah.

Little short, ain't it?

Hmm, I could arrange for you to be bitten by a werewolf.

If you survive, you'd have wolf powers once a month,

and free rabies shots.

Thanks, but no thanks, Doc.

But I seem to remember there was a guy who got incredible powers

from being bitten by a radioactive bug.

Oh, come on. You made that up.

Not to worry, men.

We need to have faith in our American system of justice.

I'll sort this out as soon as Hulk arrives with my bail.

Hulk make mess.

Hulk not a public menace.

Hulk have boyish good looks.

How about zip it?

Well, I got fined for disturbing the peace,

toxic repulsor fumes and unlicensed use of a fusion reactor,

but Mayor Egghead will make the city safer,

and raise property values.

I'll finally be able to unload that mansion on the east side.

Peachy. Oy.

And I'm going to unload my lunch.

All right, Mr. May...

Guy... person... hmm?

Why don't we go with Mr. Ex-Mayor?

This early prototype armor is a little clunky.

In its previous life, it was a washer-dryer combination.

Are you comfortable?

Hey, there he is.

It's a little roomy.

Now, you've got some serious firepower.

Oh, what are these buttons I'm feeling?

Whatever you do, don't touch those until I... Okay.

Whoa!

Stop pushing the buttons!

I'm warning you, you're risking a ticket.

And stay away from my mansion.

Why does everything have to be signed in triplicate?

I'm just naming a building after me.

Finally.

Watch it, you big Egg McNothing.

Welcome, citizens,

to the dedication of the Egghead Towers.

Future generations will know how much you loved me,

every time they see this magnificent edifice.

We're going to hit. I'll push more buttons.

Uh-oh, that's not good.

Maybe I'll push this one.

Stop pushing buttons!

Bring them down.

I'll get reinforcements.

Heroes, this is an emergency.

The former mayor has gone mad.

He and Wolverine are attacking the city.

Bring them in, by any means necessary.

Yeah, baby! I think I'm getting the hang of it.

You got any barf bags in that thing?

Well, that wasn't very nice.

I am so happy to be on solid ground.

And we're happy that you're an easier target.

Catch.

Oh, that's a big ouch.

Go ahead and finish them off.

Now look what you did!

I should...

Ah!

Permission to speak freely, Mayor Head.

The ex-mayor never seemed violent.

Maybe we can just talk to him.

There's no time for jibber-jabber.

They've gone renegade. Bring them down.

Sir, yes, sir! No jibber-jabber, sir.

Wait a minute. It's his music that's controlling them.

You want to be scrambled or fried?

Hey, that was a gift from my mother.

Well, that puts an end to the mind control of the heroes.

We're not under mind control, are we, Eggy?

Yeah, we just genuinely like the guy.

Wolverine, it's best if you come along peaceably.

Not so fast. The invincible ex-mayor is here,

and I brought transistor-powered punch for everybody.

Somebody spiked the punch.

Carry on, heroes.

I'm getting out of here.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't the music,

but that rotten egg's definitely up to something.

Be nice to egg man.

Him swell guy.

Give Hulk ice cream.

My name on one lousy building.

Was that asking too much?

Why are you wasting time with it at all?

Dr. Doom.

What brings your head here today?

I want an update on the search for my fractals.

Oh, the fractals.

Well, I haven't actually started to...

What, what, what?

Just how are you wasting your time?

I want those fractals, now!

Now? Now?

You think it's easy?

It takes 8616 crossover forms,

filled in quadruplicate, to start a search committee,

and a dozen more just to order snacks

for their first meeting.

Let me simplify things for you.

I have the Lethal Legion waiting outside the great wall.

You will open the locks of the gate,

and they will smash the city to the ground.

Yes, sir.

But there's a form for every lock.

Here. Here's a pen.

That's one.

I'm getting finger blisters.

Egghead's controlling the locks.

I'll get him, but you have to stop the gate from opening at any cost.

No problem, Wolvie.

Whoa, Momma.

Fling.

Ow! Again with the shield?

I expected you to have a little more respect for authority.

Yellow hair trying to hurt Hulk?

Hulk, you're supposed to grab him.

Where'd he go?

Knit one, pearl two.

Not the green wire, the red wire, you...

Oh, pretty shoes.

Hey.

There, that's the last lock.

Now, I'd better get back to the wall to keep the heroes in line.

Right, because otherwise, your control wears off.

It wasn't the music, it was your voice.

And I can take care of that.

Guess my super-sensitive hearing kept it from working on me.

Well, Mr. Sensitive, let's try a little volume.

I can keep this up until your head explodes.

Casual Friday. No ties allowed.

I give them ten minutes, and then I'm going home.

I'm missing my stories.

Yipe, only one more lock.

I hope this works, or they'll be calling me the ex-ex-mayor.

For Super Hero City!

It's the Mayor.

He sacrificed himself to stop the gate from opening,

to save the city.

Hulk crying 'cause Hulk think Mayor's dead.

He was the greatest hero of us all.

Well, not the greatest,

but I did try my best.

For Super Hero City!

Sheesh, good thing I didn't have that armor suit custom-tailored.

You still have ice cream for Hulk, please?

Sorry, true believers.

Egghead filed all the right forms for those crazy regulations.

I'm going to need help filling out new ones

to get rid of them.

Come on, it'll be fun.

I'll let you play with my stapler.

Paperwork? Why, that's un-American.

Yeah. Why'd we vote for this guy?

Come on, bubs.

The mayor's got a lot of responsibility.

And with great responsibility comes great power.

And vice versa.