Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

I thought the coppers almost at me that time.

Oh!

Do say cheers to St. Peter for me, Mary Kelly.

- Here. - Jack!

Hello.

Anyone here?

Jack!

Richard?

Blimey! Is that you?

Oh, it's okay, mate. I lost the coppers.

What are you doing? I said I lost them.

Hey, you.

Caught.

Caught like a rat in a trap.

What are you doing?

Stop!

Oh.

Did you see what that woman was wearing?

Is that how the puritans really dressed?

Uh... I don't think

the puritans wear their dresses that low cut,

- at least not without a scarlet aye. - Yeah.

And I love this old house.

It just screams "scream."

Just like the doorbell.

Um, anyway,

this is the master library in all its, uh, booky splendor.

Is this where you want me to set up?

In the library?

Well, it's where we found him.

And he liked to be called Jack.

Is that because he claimed to be Jack the Ripper?

- Oh, he was Jack the Ripper. He channeled the original. - Yep.

How could you tell?

- He started carrying around a knife... - Jesus!

And memorizing 900 numbers.

- You brought the real one. - Yeah.

He was re-enacting the five canonical murders.

If he had time, the Putnam murders.

But they never found any evidence.

Remember that.

Only because he was extremely clever.

Well, he was also very psychic.

You know, it helps to know what the police are gonna do next.

This is true.

But bad people don't get to stick around.

They go somewhere.

I never did understand all this.

What? Yeah...

Uh, good people after death,

sometimes hang around their loved ones or a place,

especially if they have unfinished business or regrets about passing.

And what happens with the bad spirits?

Oh, well...

Oh, jeez!

And...

what's the determining factor? I mean...

it's not, uh,

fudging on your taxes?

I never could prove up my dependence.

Man, you're single.

That's why I could never prove 'em up.

The dividing line is souls that would torment the living.

That fits Jack.

Well, allegedly.

But hey, if he's found a way to stick around,

then maybe he was innocent. Habeas no corpus.

All right, I guess we do need to find out what happened to him.

If my uncle is channeling Jack the Ripper,

their spirits gonna become twisted together,

mix into one soul so they can't be separated.

Oh. That's awful.

Channeling can be risky if the spirit's malignant.

Maybe we should rethink this.

Um, the important thing

is to figure out what happened.

But why did we have to sneak in the backway?

Uh, we're under strict instructions

not to let anyone disturb the Halloween party.

But I want to see the ballroom.

Yeah, that would be against the rules.

You have to be an Auldcraft

in order to attend an Auldcraft Hallowed Eve's ball.

- Why can't I go as Seymour's date? He's an Auldcraft. - Um...

- I took my name off the attendee list years ago. - Yeah.

Not even girlfriends or significant others.

You don't have any caterers?

Well, they come in early and set up.

People to clean up?

They'll come in tomorrow.

And all the curtains are drawn, before you ask.

And we would check IDs at the gate

if we didn't know everyone already.

- Um. - You really think of everything.

I am the estate manager.

Can't I just take a peek?

Uh, n... I'm sorry.

It is a private party for family only.

And I am not family. I get it.

Hey, that doesn't mean you can't have

a world-famous Auldcraft Hallowtini.

What's a Hallowtini?

Well, it may be eye of newt,

unicorn horn powder, and boiled frog.

Delicious.

Or it may be vodka,

powdered sugar, and green food coloring.

You decide.

- One for you? - Nah, thank you.

I don't drink while conducting séances.

Oh, I get it.

Don't drink and drive.

Lily, it's just a stupid party everybody goes to.

- A party that we have to be married to attend. - Yeah, but...

And you don't believe in marriage.

- I believe that's come up over brunch. - But...

Yeah, but, but we've talked about this.

I mean, we're still young.

Let's talk about it again.

But what's wrong with keeping our relationship

the way it is? We're just fine.

So I can continue to endure the frantic calls from my mother

- and the smirks from my blissfully married sister. - Lily?

My point is, I'll survive missing a party.

Even a famously spooky one.

At least there won't be any ghost attending, right?

I mean, it's like that time we actually saw Bigfoot.

That was moss on a tree.

It was very scary moss.

We shouldn't finish setting up.

So what are we using tonight?

Uh, tonight is all me.

But the show?

You don't need any gimmicks.

Well, people are so disappointed

without the cheesy special effects.

- What's the first rule? - The second rule is to get them to text all their friends.

Um, yeah, but what's the first rule?

- Never use more special effects than people need to believe. - Exactly.

And these people believe already.

- Well, that's not surprising, considering where we are. - True.

But I bought new gear.

Mm, you wasted your money.

Come on, Mr. Auldcraft.

Don't you want to show them how we...

play with fire?

- How did you do that? - You like?

- Yeah, I like. - It's a shame we aren't using any tricks.

All right, fine. We'll use that one.

- I like that one. - Yay.

But don't use that tonight.

Oh, come on, just let me do a quick reading.

Aren't you curious?

I bet this place registers a two.

Oh, see? I told you, a two.

No! A two and a half. Wow!

The famously haunted Auldcraft Mansion lives up to its reputation.

We should really finish setting up.

Remember that time that we visited Dunridge Sanatorium,

and I got a reading of four?

Well, the spectrograph is reading eight.

A... A ten.

What?

What is this place?

It's weird. That's weird. That shouldn't happen.

Oh, but... I got a reading of 12.

I mean, I wouldn't expect that high of a reading in purgatory.

It's probably just a surge in the battery.

Those old models, it happens.

I'm back.

And I got 'em

to give you extra unicorn horn powder,

mummy dust, and a gummy maggot.

- Uh... - Whoa!

You looked like you need it. What happened?

I... Uh, it's, it's nothing. Equipment problems.

Thanks for the drink.

Can you, um, turn down that drink?

I have to concentrate.

Hey, look, don't be grumpy just because you can't drink.

This is your element, right?

I mean, yeah,

but we still don't know the details.

How did Jack die?

Um... All right, we...

found his body right here...

with his knife in his chest.

Someone murdered him in this room?

Well, couldn't have.

There was no one in the house that whole weekend.

Oh, then he fell on his own knife?

Weird, huh?

Uh...

That's why we need a seer

to help us figure out the details.

And who better than my nephew?

Wow.

Party's turning up.

It sounds like the "Monster Mash" being played on a Victrola.

They will dance to it until dawn.

- Wow! - And yeah, your, uh...

Julia asked about whether you'd be coming tonight.

Oh! What did you tell her?

Told her you'd be busy as usual.

Uh, who's Julia?

Mm, nobody in particular.

Gerald?

Um...

- She's... - Yes. Who?

Uh, you know...

Seymour, it was a really fantastic idea to bring Lily here tonight.

I mean, there's absolutely no possibility

- of a complete disaster. - All right, f...

Let's proceed with the séance as quickly as possible.

What... We're not all here.

S... Someone else is joining us?

Well, commandeering is more like it.

You, you promised me.

Yes, I promised you.

Okay.

Just remember whatever happens after this...

wasn't my idea.

Oh, come on.

Oh, but... Oh, okay.

I wasn't finished.

They're here.

I have materialized.

Oh. This female is a mistake, Seymour Edwin Auldcraft.

All right, buddy, I don't want you in my personal life. Or I'm walking out that door.

You would do well to show more respect for the head of your family.

Or what? If this was a donks, I think I'd miss.

Oh, you conceited, young popinjay.

Now, Richard, compose yourself.

No one who is not in the family should be in the manor tonight.

She is my family.

Oh, don't be ridiculous. You haven't married her.

- Oh... - So it would be wonderful if you did.

What if she discovered our secret, hmm?

She could break over 200 years of tradition.

Look, she's been told not to leave this room, okay?

Hey, I promise not to see anything tonight.

Delightful.

The unenforceable promise of a femme seule.

- A what? - A woman alone.

You sound like my mother.

Let's all calm down.

Uh, perhaps if I prepare some tea.

Oh, lemon curd and clotted cream.

I am in heaven.

Not yet, dear.

Why are you two even here?

I don't need any help conducting this séance.

Of course you do.

Every conductor needs his symphonic orchestra.

- But... - Don't worry, Mr. Auldcraft.

Seymour will do great.

Because he's got spirit. Yes, he does.

He's got spirit and my love.

I see why a wedding is out of the question.

- Shut up. - Uh.

Now, Richard, let me see if I understand.

Seymour, dear...

you can't perform your séance without your little friend?

That's right.

And we need a séance.

One with Seymour's particular set of skills?

Regrettably so.

Then we must proceed. Correct?

We might as well be pleasant to each other.

Hey, I am being pleasant.

I do not like being forced to be pleasant under duress.

Boys...

Fine.

Acceptable.

Wonderful. Wonderful.

Now, I believe it would be proper

for me to introduce myself to our guest.

Good evening, I'm Victoria Fidelia Auldcraft.

Lily Herdston. Pleased to meet you.

Pleasure to meet you, dear.

My visiting card.

Oh! I'll Facebook you.

Yes?

Well, dear, if you like to face books,

the library is a perfect place to be.

No, Mrs. Auldcraft. I meant...

Oh, no, please call me by my Christian name.

Victoria. I was named after the British Queen, of course.

I could have sworn the Queen was named after you.

I trust the family history has been explained to you.

Uh, no, not really.

Um...

They like to dress up in fancy past duds.

It reminds them of the good old days.

That's a bit simplistic, but, but true.

And did you explain our illustrious family history?

Why we enjoy our duds?

Right. Yeah. So, um,

this place is old, right?

So a whole bunch of people

have died here over the years, a whole lot.

No, that won't do in the slightest.

Many wonderful people have lived,

and yes, died here.

Generals, governors, captains of industry.

The history of the Auldcraft family is the history of great men,

- like our founder. - A distinctly dashing fellow

who laid the cornerstone to this house in 1786.

He laid it crooked.

- He laid it perfectly. - No, he didn't.

Balls were held here, the Civil War planned,

fortunes were made, and, and squandered and amplified.

Throughout the eras, the Auldcraft family

has maintained the highest standards of civilized living.

Not to mention civilized deaths.

Today, the Auldcraft family continues its march proudly to the present.

And now we proudly proceed to our present business

- contacting Jack. - Oh!

I refused to refer to Jonathan Theodore as Jack.

Call him what you like, but we must call him.

Oh, I understand.

How do we proceed, Seymour, dear?

Well, everybody gather around the table.

Did you see that?

Did you see that?

Can we get on with it?

Ah! Yes.

Wow, no wonder this place rates at 12 on the spectrograph.

All right.

Everyone, take a deep breath and focus your thoughts.

So romantic.

- Oh, self-igniting candles. - Oh, check that out.

How quaint.

I can't believe it actually worked. - All right...

Do you have this, uh, patented?

No more talking, guys. We gotta... I gotta concentrate.

Close your eyes.

Focus on summing Jack.

Envision him.

Form his image in your mind.

Lily?

Spirits of the night,

spirits that avoid the light, speak to us.

Uh, nothing's happening.

Contacting the spirit world isn't like using a cell phone.

Okay? It takes time.

There's not an app for this?

No more commentary, okay? I have to concentrate.

I'm sorting the dead here, okay?

Spirits, Seymour Auldcraft is calling to you.

Open the door and pass on through.

Perhaps another nursery rhyme to try.

Richard, be polite.

Spirits,

Seymour Auldcraft is calling to you.

- Open the door and pass on through. - Focus.

I smell perfume.

Hmm.

Oh!

Hello, everybody.

That's not Jack.

Gerald...

don't you recognize me?

Um, Seymour Afterdark?

Young lady, leave that body immediately.

- You're tying up the line. - No, wait.

Beatrice?

- Is that you? - Gerald, yes.

Oh! I have been waiting ages to see you again, dear.

- Who is Beatrice? - Gerald's fiancé. Deceased.

They met in amateur theatricals playing Romeo and Juliet.

She crashed her car into the cemetery

- on the night they were engaged. - Mm.

Too many Hallowtinis.

Um, Beatrice, why haven't you passed on through to the light?

Because I had to warn you.

Warn me about what? Jack?

Yes.

Something is anchoring him to this house.

Something evil.

You must destroy it, Gerald.

Enough of this.

- Uh, be gone, you interloper. - No.

Not yet.

Stay a little longer. What am I supposed to do?

I can't hurt Seymour.

I have to go.

Goodbye, Gerald.

Beatrice?

Seymour, wha... what's going on?

My spirit cannot leave this body without a physical shock.

What sort of physical shock?

Well, I don't know exactly.

But the greater the shock, the more likelihood my spirit will be expelled.

Well, I... I can't hurt Seymour.

Mm, you're going to have to kill him.

- Or... - Or?

You could kiss me.

Kiss you?

In that body?

No way.

You loved me once.

Oh, I, I still do.

I just can't.

Okay.

Then take my hand.

Oh. Sure. Okay.

Anything for you, Beatrice.

"For each pilgrim's hand holds a saint's hand."

"And palm to palm is holy palmers kiss."

Gerald, what... what are you doing?

Patty Cake?

Seymour,

your parlor tricks are not working.

You failed to channel Jack.

Look, I'm sorry.

Something's interfering with the connection.

I, uh... Whatever happened, he's really stuck down there.

We need answers, not old lovers.

- Who? - Um,

my old fiancé.

She smelled just like Chanel No. 5.

She told us a physical shock was necessary to release her spirit.

That's true.

And the longer a spirit stays inside a physical body...

the more force it takes to get it to leave.

So, channeling is dangerous.

- We can't leave Jonathan Theodore... - Uh, Jack.

Trapped forever between the physical and spiritual realms.

I got the sense of an enormous evil.

Uh, alleged enormous evil.

Look, I can go deeper, but that might give Jack control over me.

I... will control him.

My superior ability to focus my psychic kinetic energy

will have a cooling effect on your agitated fluids.

- Mm. - Superior.

Yeah. I feel so much better

That... Then we will proceed.

I will. Just give me a moment to gather my strength.

Ah, the tea is ready, and we could use a rest.

Lily, would you like to help, please?

Uh, sure.

Lovely.

You know, I have always said that no matter what the problem,

- tea always improves one's perspective. - Mm.

Seymour, you need more discipline.

Discipline strengthens the will.

I like discipline.

If as long as she doesn't have a problem with it.

- When you channel Jack, will you have him firmly? - Yes.

And will he be able to control your body like the previous one?

Yeah, he will be... ...if...

He might even have some slight physical power if he's strong enough.

Like what?

Blowing some air, candle.

Well, I can handle the weather.

Uh, let me know when you are ready to proceed.

I just need a couple more moments to gather my strength again.

Would you mind pouring, dear?

My hands have been particularly stiff today.

Oh, I'd be happy to.

- Tea is served. - Oh, cucumber

and watercress sandwiches. It's my favorite.

Huh. How are you feeling, dear?

You look pale.

Uh, well, I've watched Seymour conduct séances for years.

It's a wonderful skill.

We go around and we do a lot of good for people.

- But... - Yes?

Channeling Jack feels wrong.

We're in the Auldcraft Manor. Nothing wrong ever happens here.

Could you take this to Seymour, dear?

It just, it doesn't make any sense.

I just don't understand why this is so hard.

Is his name written down?

Yes.

His name is duly inscribed.

Unlike yours.

Yeah, thanks for rubbing that in.

Something is tying Jack to this world

and interfering with the connection.

Um, Beatrice said something that you should know.

- What? - Uh, Gerald.

Uh, there's no need to trouble Seymour with trivia.

- But... - I said it's irrelevant.

May I talk to you?

- Privately? - Sure.

Seymour, you're going to go deeper?

Yeah, I have to. There's interference.

But the deeper you go, the more the spirit is in control.

Well, look, I can handle it.

What is it with this place? Why is there so much spiritual energy here?

- Can't say. - You mean you won't say.

This isn't some child's game of hokey-pokey.

This is stepping in, and stepping out,

and shaking this fair world all about.

Lily, I'll be fine, all right?

I wasn't this weirded out when we met the ghost

of Christmas Past, Present, and Future.

Look, those were carolers, all right?

They were very scary carolers.

Lily.

What?

- Slap me. - What? Come again.

If Jack does take control,

a slap will shock him into releasing me.

Are you sure?

I'm positive.

- Well, there's something else. - What?

Oh, no.

Good evening.

- Why, good evening, Julia. - Julia?

You look lovely tonight.

Don't I always?

You're supposed to stay at the party.

Darling, you are here,

and handsome as ever.

Black always suited you.

I'm in the middle of something.

And who is our guest?

I insist on being introduced.

She hasn't been invited to the party.

But she has been invited to tea.

I'm Lily. Seymour "the Seer's" assistant.

- Is this a séance? - Yeah.

Then I am decidedly staying.

But we've already started.

Well, why shouldn't she stay?

See, we've decided.

- Hey... - Oh, wait.

Not, not in front of my girlfriend.

- Girlfriend? - Girlfriend.

But, honey, why haven't you mentioned her to me?

Yeah, Seymour, why haven't you mentioned me?

I was busy.

That's silly.

I'm not threatened in the least.

After all, no one can replace me.

Why not?

No, dear.

Do you have one of those

"we mustn't talk" relationships?

Perhaps you are ready to continue.

- Oh, of course. I mean... - Wonderful.

Gerald, would you show Julia a seat?

Oh... Got you.

Thank you, sweetie.

Sure.

How close are you and Julia exactly?

Just about a natural distance.

We've always been close.

I've... I've known her since I was a child.

In fact, he was the first person I ever possessed.

- Possessed? - Oh.

All the time, and in every available location.

- Why? I remember... - Julia!

Darling!

How else am I to handle my competition?

- She's not your... - Might I remind you time is of the essence?

Stop this distaff tittle-tattle at once.

No more talking!

No more questions.

No more comments.

Nothing.

Let's hold hands around the table.

- Lily? - Yes.

Take my hand.

Oh. All right.

Would you please perform the incantation for me?

Absolutely.

Spirits, come to Seymour,

keeper of secrets and teller of lies.

It looks like his girlfriend is getting wise.

I like it.

Are we channeling Dr. Phil?

Lily.

All right.

Spirits from beyond the veil,

follow my voice and do not fail.

Lily, keep going.

Spirits, awake,

Seymour "the Seer" awaits.

Hear him.

Fear him.

Night be true and clear, let the tortured one appear.

Jack, arise from the grave.

We are your master.

You are our slave.

Jack, are you with us?

Please give us a sign.

Wow. We asked for a sign, not a billboard.

Ah! Good evening, everyone.

I trust we're all prim and proper.

So, we are speaking to Jack?

Mm, you are speaking at me, Richard.

As is your want.

You know, it was some hard work getting me out. Cheers.

- So you knew about our difficulty? - Of course.

- Then you also know the cause. - Yes.

And who killed you?

A knife killed me.

And what a wonderful surprise that was.

Talk straight, man!

Are all my souvenirs in place?

What are you doing? Why are you going through the family safe?

- No one's used that in years. - Oh.

No one except me.

Ah! It's always good to have a spare.

You know, the coppers confiscated my last one.

That's all they got though.

Please tell me that does not contain

crime scene souvenirs.

All right, I won't.

Did you like Mary Kelly's scarf?

It matched her eyes.

So, you did hurt those women?

Oh, yes. Well, more than hurt.

Well, at least your victims are going to... to heaven.

And I helped them get there, express.

Well, you're going straight to the bad place.

Not straight to the bad place.

I mean, obviously.

What's your name, crumpet?

Don't be shy.

I don't bite.

- Because I'm dead. - Might I remind you,

you are in my household.

Your household?

Yes, and under my roof.

I will not allow disrespect to the weaker sex.

They have enough problems.

Yeah, they do.

But this is your roof?

Wh... What an absurd question.

Because now this roof is mine.

What's happening?

Oh. This is neat.

Stop. There's no way you have this much power.

You're right.

With this body, I have more.

What is that?

It's time for a new order,

and for new rules in my kind of fun.

Sorry, Jack. Play time is over.

What was that?

I... That's supposed to snap you out of it.

You're a pretty one, aren't you?

Uh, sure.

Do you know what I do

- with pretty ones? - Let them die of old age?

I do let them die.

How dare you?

Wow.

Uh!

Man, I missed.

Let's try again.

Practice, practice, practice.

It's how you get to help a whore.

Enough!

By power of parchment and pen,

return the way you came in.

I banish you!

Gerald, strike him.

With pleasure.

Jack, you were a lousy brother.

Ah, Gerald.

Still sniveling over your dead girlfriend,

- with the drinking... - Hold that thought.

Seymour.

Oh! You banished him.

Oh, let's not speak of it.

- But are you sure that wasn't necessary? - Don't question my judgment.

He needed to be returned to the ether.

Hey, you're back.

What happened?

Uh, you attacked Lily with Cupid.

What?

Well, I, I guess Jack, um,

attacked her, shot love's arrow.

But, but not in a cute Cupid shuffle kind of way.

It was more of a Dexter: Valentine's Day Specialway.

Something's screwing with the natural order of things.

- Excuse me. - Nonsense.

Everything is, uh, working exactly as expected.

I gained the sense of something malevolent.

Maybe that's what Beatrice meant.

What? Beatrice imparted a message?

She said that

whatever it was that was anchoring Jack to this plane

needed to be destroyed, that it was evil.

I wish I never agreed to do this.

Jack had more psychic energy than I have seen anyone have.

But that's impossible.

He's only been dead for, like, three days.

Amassing that kind of psychic-kinetic energy takes years.

It takes decades.

Well, he found a way.

Excuse me?

What...

What is going on?

The room, and Jack and the arrow?

Am I going insane?

Poor thing.

- Tell her. - Absolutely not.

Tell her everything or I will.

My lips and my tome

- are sealed. - Perhaps just this...

- What's this... - We're ghosts.

What?

Julia.

- That is our most closely guarded family secret. - Please.

How long were you going to string her along?

An eternity?

It was getting old.

- Ghosts? - 'Fraid so.

Boo, sweetheart.

But that can't be.

Um, hey, watch this.

Stop that. Most insensitive.

So Richard is like the dawn of the family.

And Victoria is my dead great grandmother.

And Julia...

is Seymour's mother.

His, uh...

And everyone else, all the partygoers,

they are past generations of the Auldcrafts

that are all gathered together for a huge family reunion at Halloween.

Feting me and the destiny I bequeath them.

And that is why it is so exclusive.

Because you have to be dead in order to get in.

So, I think that about covers it.

That's about it.

We're all on the same page.

But we don't know who killed Jack.

Or how he acquired that power.

Or if she is worthy of my Seymour.

I, I, I didn't say we finished the book.

So this, and you're all and I...

- Uh. - Oh. Oh.

Excuse me while I get some smelling salts.

Ghosts!

I was dreaming that I was...

Still here, and I'm still fabulous.

You're all ghosts!

Um, except for me.

Wow.

I've searched for evidence of the supernatural my entire life,

and until now, all I could manage was...

A streaked photograph.

Are you okay?

Okay?

Wow. I am great.

I should be recording this.

Well, now that you know,

I should relay the entire Auldcraft family history.

The Auldcraft family... Excuse me, dear.

The Auldcraft family came to this land over 200 years ago

searching for opportunity, and we found it like most.

Richard founded the Auldcraft family fortune

and built this lovely mansion,

and he found a way to keep us together,

even after death. Isn't that wonderful?

All the Auldcrafts fly to the mansion after passing,

and they share rooms,

and the generations tell stories.

Seymour, you knew about the ghosts?

Of course he knew. All the Auldcrafts know the family history.

Seymour. This is incredible. Why didn't you tell me?

This... ...is not some idle fireside gossip.

This is a treasured family's secret, at least until now.

Seymour, they're ghosts you can see.

Please do try to keep up.

We've recorded low-register moaning, flickers.

Now I can prove everything.

There's one more thing you should know.

Don't you dare!

She should know what we're dealing with.

Is nothing sacred?

Lily, meet the Auldcraft family sigil.

It's the key to our way of life after death.

Wow. Explain how it works.

Any name written in the sigil will be kept from traveling to the great beyond.

The ultimate family scrapbook.

Seymour, I don't see your name.

Well, I'm not on it.

I appear to be immune somehow.

But once a name is added to the sigil...

It is bound to this house until death.

Then what happened to Jack? I mean, Jonathan Theodore?

I can still read his name.

Although it's faint.

I have the power to banish any soul

bound in the sigil to the ether.

What exactly is the ether?

It's like a supernatural drunk tank.

In theory, Jack should have gone straight to the bad place,

but, instead, he's able to linger in the ether.

Why doesn't he appear on his own?

Uh, why does he need to go through you?

That's the thing. It doesn't make sense.

Unless the sigil is acting like some sort of transmitter.

We have to find out.

Seymour, you will have to channel Jack again.

You serious? After what I almost did to her?

I think I'll pass.

Yes, that's what you do, Seymour. You pass.

I am deceased and I have more of a life than you do.

Richard Auldcraft, you have not blessed this family.

- You've cursed it. - Oh, pfft.

There you go with your, your lies.

I did nothing of the sort.

Ghosts are my profession, all right?

I can recognize a curse when I see a curse.

The sigil is not a curse. It's a blessing.

Mm. And how did you attain this blessing? Why don't you tell us?

I am amazing!

You met someone.

What happened?

After I made my fortune in molasses and whale oil...

Believe me, you don't want to get those two bottles confused.

I wanted to build a mansion big enough to...

house the entire family for generations,

and that's when I met the angel.

And how did you know he was an angel?

Uh, big wings,

he carried a quill and a scale of justice.

It reminded me of a lawyer. Uh...

I signed a covenant that suspended judgment

upon death indefinitely for me and my heirs.

Richard.

There's only one kind of angel that has scales.

Fallen angels.

Who are commonly known

as demons.

- I need a drink. - Preposterous.

We've been fine for hundreds of years.

Yeah.

But now Jack is coming to kill us all.

You haven't blessed this family.

You've cursed it.

How dare you?

How dare you accuse me of such a calumny?

You put this entire family in danger,

our very mortal souls.

If you had a sense of honor,

you would undo what you have done.

How dare you speak to me of honor?

You, of all people?

What's happening?

Your very birth besmirched the family honor!

Richard, listen to me for once.

And what exactly would you have me do?

- You need to destroy the sigil! - Destroy it?

The sigil is our way of afterlife.

Destroy it.

Cease this, cease this at once!

Richard, calm down. You're gonna pop a lightbulb.

Oh! Too late!

Richard, no.

Don't hurt my baby.

There's more than one way to deal with a pest.

Victoria, do something.

Help him.

This ends now!

- No! - Sigil.

Sigil, by the power of parchment and pen, release Richard.

What are you doing?

Sigil, I command you, release Richard Auldcraft.

- Yeah. - Yeah, I...

The big cheese eaten just like that.

I didn't, I didn't think that would work.

- You banished him. - I...

Oh, my deepest apologies. I panicked.

Well, you panicked like a fox.

He was gonna kill Seymour.

Oh, we don't know that.

What? He wasn't gonna use that candlestick

for a candle at dinner.

Well, he isn't here to defend himself,

so let's just, let's just drop the matter.

- Did he go to the bad place? - No.

The sigil says, "Unfinished business."

He's anchored in the ether just like Jack.

Why didn't you mention something about that earlier?

I, I got drunk at the Devil's party.

I mean, th... this isn't gonna look good in the big book in the sky.

There's not much you can do.

Without Richard here, I...

I needed him to destroy the sigil.

- Pardon? - Why?

They're tied together.

He created the covenant,

only he can rescind it.

If he did agree, what would you have done?

Well, we would've reenacted the ceremony

and reversed the sequence of events.

Then we're stuck here without him.

Yeah.

What... You couldn't have mentioned that

in the heat of the argument?

Well, he was busy yelling.

Are you sure there's no other way?

Uh, okay. What if we call the Devil

and complain about the warranty on this thing?

There's... No, we...

Okay, look, you've got magic.

Wave your hands, make sparks.

Look.

Kapow!

Goodbye, sigil, right?

There is a small possibility that I could destroy it without Richard's help.

Right. Oh.

Then let's do it. Kapow!

But there's a large possibility

that I could send everyone down to the bad place.

- Well, let's just hold that thought. - Yeah.

Curses are more difficult to deal with than frizzy hair on a humid day.

Well, it's not a curse.

It, it may have started out like that,

but, but it's done nothing but good things for our family.

At the end of the day, it keeps you from going to where you need to be.

No, it keeps us together.

Yeah, but now we're together with the spirit of a cold-blooded murderer.

Well, I can't be held accountable for modern schooling.

If Richard's still here, What if you channeled him?

Could he revoke the sigil, then?

I mean, yeah, but not if he doesn't want to.

Let me talk to him. I may be able to change his perspective.

I tried changing that perspective for my entire life.

And I have been successfully changing it well beyond that.

Okay... Hold on.

I can see Jack.

He... He's waiting for me.

He wants to possess me permanently.

And he will if I try to channel again.

How can he do that?

Sigil?

The sigil is just a piece of paper.

Heaven help us if it's not.

Julia, how do names get on the sigil?

Only Richard understood how it works.

Sometimes a name appears at birth,

sometimes at marriage, and sometimes even after death.

So we really are out of options?

What can we do?

There is one technique I know, but it's extremely dangerous,

and it could, it could hurt everybody, living or dead.

Please tell us.

I've practiced some of the ancient studies,

and these...

...are ways that a priest would consult the dead.

- Okay. - Like what?

So I'm gonna have to go out

and buy some, uh, goat's blood

No. No.

They used visual means to consult with them.

Passed for the ghosts to go on to appear before the living.

Doors to the other side.

We could communicate with Richard's spirit and reverse the ceremony?

In theory.

Direct links to the afterlife are notoriously unstable.

But if someone were to go through the door,

they could find Richard and retrieve him.

Yes.

In fact, that would be safer than me going in and opening the door myself.

That's all I need to hear. I'm going.

You?

I'm the one that banished Richard.

I should be the one to bring him back.

You'd risk death?

Don't be ridiculous. I'm already dead.

But I, I have no idea what will happen if I attempt this.

Uh, you could be lost forever in the haze

between the phy... physical and the spiritual realms.

We have to control this power, Seymour.

It must not control us.

All right.

Everybody, stand back.

But before I depart,

I would like to go see the family.

- Why? - They really should know that Richard's passed and...

Well, I'd like to say my farewells in case something happens.

I'll go with you. Give me a minute to calibrate my ectometer.

Dear, dear, I'm so sorry, but this really must be restricted to family.

And I am not family.

I understand.

- Gerald? - Yeah.

Would you escort me, please?

My parents are out there.

You know that, right?

Yes, of course.

I never exactly saw eye to eye with them

even when they had eyes.

As the oldest living representative of the family.

Let's rock.

- Seymour, you go too. - Me?

I'll stay here and keep Lily company.

We'll have a beating-heart-to-heart talk.

- Ah... - See? She loves the idea.

Hurry along.

- Uh... - Now, how long have you known my Seymour?

Three years.

I have a degree in linguistic archaeology,

and we met when I was writing my thesis on talking in tongues.

Ah, yes,

another of Seymour's many talents.

It's not every boyfriend who can tweet in Biblical Greek.

And you've dated him all that time?

For the past year.

Until then, I was his assistant.

- In the ghost trade? - Yes.

- And you enjoy your profession? - I love it.

Why?

- Uh... - Surely, dear, I'm asking honestly.

Well, sometimes people need a second chance,

but death's a barrier they can't cross.

Yes, the River Styx flows only one way.

Seymour comes in, helps everyone say what they need to say.

You enjoy that.

I can't describe the thrill.

When we help, everything feels brighter.

The only thing that I love more than that is...

Your hair is a lovely, my dear,

- but you really should do something with it. - Excuse me?

I am sorry, that came out wrong.

I mean, you should change your hairstyle

while you still can.

What's wrong with it?

Once you're dead, you're frozen in your present state.

I've been making this dress work for 20 years.

Believe me, don't worry about dying in clean underwear.

Worry about your hair.

- Twenty years? - Yes.

Seymour is 20.

He is.

How time flies when you're dead.

You died when he was born?

Only a few months after.

Wha... What happened?

Well... when I got pregnant,

marriage was out of the question.

Not because I wasn't lovely.

You understand?

But because the father was already married.

Everyone was terribly upset.

But I insisted on keeping the baby.

Then I died.

How? How did you die?

I can't seem to recall.

Try to remember, Julia.

I have a feeling it's important.

I remember that Richard and I

had just had a spectacular fight.

Over what?

It seems trivial now,

but Richard refused to register Seymour's name

in the family Bible with the other Auldcrafts.

I remember now.

It's coming back to me.

I snuck back into the library

to add Seymour's name to the family Bible.

I decided I didn't need Richard's approval.

Julia.

Julia.

Richard.

Julia.

Richard, is that you?

Julia, what are you doing?

I'm adding Seymour's name to the family Bible,

and you can't stop me.

It doesn't work that way, Julia.

He's an Auldcraft,

just like all the other Auldcrafts.

I agree that Seymour is a very special boy,

and he should be raised in a very special way.

So you will add his name.

Eventually, his name will be inscribed

with the others on the list, I promise you.

That's not good enough.

I want his name written down tonight,

or I will leave this house in the morning and take Seymour with me.

Poor little Julia,

I can see you're upset.

You know I always get my way.

So do I.

I think you should go outside and take a walk.

Now I remember.

I died in the cemetery.

Covered in the winter's snow.

How horrible.

After I died, parties were out of the question, of course,

except for Halloween.

And I realized, I could still raise Seymour.

How?

Which was difficult, but we made it work.

I would possess him in the morning and make breakfast.

Then un-possess him in time for school.

And every night, I would float over his bed and moan bedtime stories.

So you raised Seymour even though you are a ghost?

There's something about tonight that reminds me of the time I died.

But the memory is out of reach.

The figure on the other side of a window.

No, no, no, no.

How about those shapeshifters?

Oh, talk about your party animals.

And did you catch that xylophoning skeleton band?

Oh, I hope they party that hard

- when they find out I died. - Ah.

They were excited.

Oh, they would have been hopping up and down

if they had their feet.

Richard obviously made quite an impression throughout the ages.

Oh, there were some 19th century cuss words

that they needed to get off their chest.

You would think mature manifestations could manage their decorum.

Well, and instead it's This House is Cleansed dance party.

Well, I'm just glad that they're taking my imminent departure

in a more subdued manner.

What's up with you two?

Just girl talk.

- Julia raised you as a ghost? - Mm, yeah.

Whole life.

Do you think that's where your gift came from?

I mean,

not a lot of people grow up being constantly possessed.

So maybe...

And it wasn't just Julia.

The whole family took advantage of his channeling skills.

We just so rarely have a chance to interact with the living.

I was the youngest guy had a lot of bridge matches.

The look on some of those ladies' faces when he won.

Oh, I also got kicked out of Civil War Historical Societies.

Well, they never knew who he was gonna argue for,

the north or the south.

So yes, it's, it's, it's certainly possible

that Seymour's powers emanated from his unique childhood.

Do you think that's why you're not named on the sigil?

I mean, it could be, but a lot of people just are passed over for some reason.

You had this whole amazing life and you never told me.

I promised to keep their secret.

I'm glad I know.

Seymour was raised in a very loving family,

albeit a, a little peculiar.

I do love your spin, Gran.

Well...

I think I'm ready.

Any final advice?

Oh. Yes.

Proper penmanship is important to both the living and the dead.

And a freshly ironed shirt is never cause for regret.

Okay, iron shirts, check.

A... And, uh, parents shouldn't argue in front of the children.

Okay, if, if I promise to read Emily Post, can we just get on with it?

Well...

it's been a lovely life

and an even better death.

Do the Auldcraft family proud.

All right.

How do we proceed?

Oh, please tell me she has to knock

"Shave and a Haircut."

Simply open the door.

- Seymour, it's not working. - Seymour.

- There's too much interference. - Oh.

- Victoria, you have to keep trying. - I'm trying.

Seymour, stop this. She isn't going to make it.

Victoria, you have to open the door.

I can't reach the door.

Victoria!

That wasn't supposed to happen.

It didn't. She's in the beyond, but the door failed.

Can she speak to Richard?

I mean, yeah, but, uh,

without a stable working door,

I can't get either of them back.

Well, can you do it again?

I can sense Jack

What's he doing?

He wants to come back.

And he'll come through if I open another door.

What can we do?

I have to think.

Seymour, I love you.

But there's something that bothers me.

- What? - This is a freaking piece of paper.

It doesn't take woo-woo magic to destroy it.

It just takes two functioning hands.

Let's destroy Richard's demon love letter now.

Gerald, I've told you this. It's extremely dangerous.

Well, and, and I'm sure to your handwaving magic,

this is probably stupid, but look at this.

Is it putting up much of a struggle?

Does this look dangerous, scary to you?

- Gerald, put that back right now. - Or what?

I'm gonna get a paper cut?

Beatrice told me to destroy this thing,

and I'm going to do it

for her and for all lost loves!

- Gerald... - You have caused enough trouble.

- Time to go by bye-bye. - Gerald, stop!

- I ain't afraid of no dead ghost! - Don't. Stop!

- Gerald... - You don't know...

- what you're doing. - ...it's watching you.

No, it's making the room do the samba.

- Take it. - You maniac, give it back.

- Time to go rippity-rip. - No!

And you can see me.

I'm not invisible.

I can see you.

And I'm not floating. Tell me I'm not floating.

You're not floating

You know, that's something, I guess.

Not only did it kill me, but it made a mess.

I'm sorry, I can't help clean up.

Like you would have anyway.

This is so weak.

You know, I kind of remember telling you not to touch the sigil.

It was a piece of paper.

It's a piece of paper created by a demon.

The party is picking back up.

Should we tell them to stop?

I don't see what good it would do.

Let 'em play the wailing waltz as long as they can.

You know something?

Being a ghost sobers you up.

Yeah?

It's my worst nightmare realized.

You know, that really sucks.

I kind of wish I had warned you.

You know, maybe it would've prevented you from doing something stupid.

Yeah, well...

smack me upside the head if you can find my body.

What was that?

That's Jack.

Look at the sigil.

Oh! Wow, it's, it's Vegas style.

Jack is coming back.

Yeah, and soon.

Why couldn't he have been an evil botanist?

Then we could be tormented in an evil rose garden.

I don't think the Devil's interested in foliage.

Well, he started off wrapped around a tree, didn't he?

Is there anything we can do to prevent Jack from returning?

Or defend ourselves.

I don't know.

Um, not that it matters, now that I'm a ghost.

Uh...

There are ways to torture ghosts.

And I'm hearing about this now.

- Strange. - What?

Nothing. Never mind.

It felt like someone just walked over my grave.

The way this night is going,

someone probably drove a hummer over it.

Hey, I've got it.

Channel a marine to fight him.

You're kidding.

Well, we can,

we can use night creature goggles

and attack 'em with ectoplasmic grenades.

That, that's not how this works, though.

That's not how any of this works.

Well, call Casper then, I hear he's friendly.

No, he's not.

What kind of busted Ghostbuster argue?

The kind that's responsible.

Julia.

You seem distracted.

Sorry.

Almost as if...

Kids...

you may want to get out of here while you're still alive.

I'm not leaving.

So neither am I.

Good evening.

Richard, how are you back?

Please don't compare me to that bumptious buffoon.

You sound like Richard.

Who are you?

The sigil.

So, you do remember me.

You were the voice that spoke to me when I died.

Of course.

Why are you showing yourself now?

Now that Richard is gone,

it's not possible to reverse the ceremony

that created me.

Yeah, yeah. We've had all kinds of bad news.

Oh, and, hey, thanks for killing me.

I had to protect myself.

Well, next time try lamination.

Stop trying to keep me at bay.

How noble.

Forgive me. Wrong word.

Pathetic!

I can hold you off.

We both know that's not true.

I'm gathering power even as we speak.

How would you like to spend the rest of your days

stapled to the back of a Chinese takeout menu?

Such theatrics,

just like your little friend.

- Beatrice? - Too bad about her little accident.

I'm sure she would appreciate the irony

of dying in a cemetery.

You killed Beatrice?

- Why? - Every haunted mansion needs a drunken caretaker.

It's a tradition,

and like dearly departed Richard,

I do cherish my traditions.

I would have quit drinking after Beatrice and I were married.

You do not think I knew of your plans

to convert this house to a summer stock theater?

I may be consigned to the netherworld,

but even I have my limits.

No one wants you here.

Go away!

Silly child.

The only desires that matter are my own.

All I want is some white-out.

- What's that? - Jack hates that he's missing the party.

Leave Jack out of this.

But I've always accommodated

the wishes of the Auldcraft family.

Seymour,

now might be a good time to have a trick up his sleeve.

You okay?

The sigil is right.

It's gaining power.

Well...

Okay, everyone,

take a minute to catch your lack of breath.

Julia,

the sigil spoke to you before this?

Spoke to me the night I died.

That awful, haunting voice.

It sounded like Richard, but somehow I knew it wasn't him.

So it was the sigil that lured you into the cemetery?

- Yes. - Man.

That sigil loves killing people more than bad movie directors.

But why? Why would the sigil want me dead?

Because you were going to take Seymour away.

And it's difficult for a piece of paper to file for visitation rights.

It wants me to be the human receptacle for Jack the Ripper.

Now that Richard's gone, it's got more power.

It's going to force me to channel Jack.

It's going to turn you into an army of ghosts.

So we're not only drafts, we'll be drafted.

This night can start getting better anytime now.

What can we do?

Since Richard's not here,

there's no way for me

to get rid of it on my own.

We have to get him back,

whatever the cost.

You're not going to try to create the door again.

Remember what happened to Victoria when she tried to open it?

I have to.

I'll force the door open.

No one will have to touch it this time.

But what will you do if Jack tries to step through?

I'll slam the door in his face.

Great. So everything depends on metaphysical rules of etiquette.

Lily...

it's time for you to leave.

Not the type of door you need to be showing me, Seymour.

But this isn't up for discussion.

So you need my help to channel ghosts,

but forcing them back to the land of the living

- is solo time? - Yeah.

So I'm just trying to follow your logic here.

Apparently, the more circles we cross,

the more you want to be ringleader.

My logic is to see you out of this place.

It's too dangerous. It's getting risky.

Which we'll face together, like we always have.

If we can face the Loch Ness monster together,

we can face this.

Lily, that was a branch floating in the water.

It was a very scary branch.

This is different. And you're right.

It is solo time.

Hey, this is super unnatural cheating.

Guys...

Oh.

Seymour? Hey, let me in.

- Wow. - Sweetie, your power is incredible.

I did grow up around ghosts.

But all we can do is float books and flicker lights.

Yeah, my bar tricks were a lot better when I was alive.

But this,

this is one of a kind special.

One of a kind special.

Then you knew.

Of course I knew.

I had to keep my abilities secret.

I, I couldn't risk being used as an experiment.

Or, or a weapon.

- I had to keep them secret from my friends, from my... - Let me in.

Hey. Hello. I know you can hear me. I'm so mad.

From reality television producers.

But now Lily knows.

And accepts you.

She's an amazing girl.

Are you trying to make me feel worse?

- No. - Let's get on with it.

- All right... - I'm starting to lose my nerve.

Go then.

Everyone, get ready.

Almost there.

Seymour.

Hurry. Jack is coming.

Richard, step through.

- Victoria! - Head toward the light, or the.

Nothing's happening.

I'm coming.

Toward the light.

I, I thought you wanted to annoy Seymour,

so I brought up women's rights.

Don't you hear them? They're calling us.

Sorry, does this have anything to do with that upstart Alexander Bell?

No, they want us to come through.

Honestly, Richard, in over 200 years,

did you never learn to RSVP?

Oh, oh. He's behind us.

Seymour.

Here's Jack!

What is this?

You're behind bars, where you belong.

These bars won't hold me.

- Well, I will. - The sigil wants me in complete control.

Did you really think Richard was afforded this opportunity

because of his charming personality?

It is rather charming.

The fallen knew you would rise one day.

Why would the fallen care? They can't even get up.

A boy with incredible power,

a man who could shape the destiny of the entire world.

You're wrong.

When I have your power,

everyone will bleed!

You monster.

That's why I was stabbed with a knife.

That's why I died.

Seymour!

My spirit, so we could be united,

and Richard won't ruin it this time.

I never ruin anything.

That's a good thing.

Idiots.

Honestly, I have no idea what's going on.

Your name will be written on the sigil at last.

No.

- Lily! - Hold this.

Ow.

How did you get back in?

Uh, the front door was open,

I walked right through.

You're kidding me!

What? Ghosts are a great security system.

I'm going to kill you again.

Oh, I'm sorry.

The next time my nephew attempts to find Jack the Ripper

to his hell cloud, without using his girlfriend,

I'll remember to lock the freaking door.

You may remove yourself from me, Victoria.

Honestly, Richard, you have the gratitude of a cat.

Are you okay?

I'm okay, but I'm drained.

We're here. Oh.

And it's so wonderful to see everyone.

Well, welcome back to the party.

How was, uh, limbo?

Oh, interminable. It was like calling for the butler,

- and he would never come. - Speak for yourself.

The butler responded immediately.

Lily, are you okay?

I feel funny.

What did you do to her?

There are consequences

to disobedience.

If she's into that sort of thing.

Are we addressing a piece of paper?

I inscribed a new name.

Perhaps not the one I originally intended,

but one I quite like.

"Lily Herdston."

It says, "Lily Herdston."

That's me.

Funny thing about doors.

You can walk through either side.

- No. - No! Seymour, no.

Remember what happened to me?

I kept her safe!

I kept her away from you!

Mortals!

Is that how my voice sounds?

It's been a long night.

Is that the real reason why you didn't want to marry me?

Well, this has nothing to do

with you being a modern man

who needs his space. You just,

you wanted to protect me from being cursed?

He wanted to protect me from the bridal registry.

I hate paying for wrapping paper and silver ribbon.

- Gerald. - What?

Dead fiancé card.

I couldn't risk you for anything.

I, I got...

You wanted to marry me?

I wanted to marry you more than anything.

Seymour, you're an idiot.

I can deal with any curse if I were with you.

Don't you know me at all?

I'm Seymour "the Seer's" assistant,

and together, we do the impossible before breakfast.

Breakfast?

Are we having breakfast already?

- What? - Richard.

You need to tell me how to enter names in the sigil.

Now, why would I do that?

- To save us. - Julia?

Is this another one of your feminine causes?

To get her name off of it. That's why.

Well, I'm afraid that's impossible.

Once a name is added to the sigil, it's written indelibly.

I do have the power to banish a spirit to the ether,

but even then, the... The, the ink, it only fades.

It does not disappear.

Best thing I ever did was sign that contract,

even better than whale oil.

Well, it's time to revoke the contract right now.

No more excuses.

You would have me return my gift to the family.

Size didn't fit, Richard.

I, I need to consider the ramifications of such a decision.

We need to recreate the ceremony so I can reverse it.

Aren't we being hasty?

Perhaps the sigil can be reasoned with.

Reasoned with?

That thing's worse than a time-share run by the UN.

It was only acting in self-defense.

Self-defense? It wrote her name.

Perhaps it wishes to give her the same blessing as well.

May I weigh in?

No.

Huh, I could never deny

that incredible voice.

Richard, think of the future,

and your legacy.

The entire world

will know the name Auldcraft.

The entire world.

Your portrait will be on everyone's mantel.

Uh, I'd rather have it on the money.

Richard, don't listen to that thing.

But my ambition is the best part of me.

No, the best part of you is your heart.

Hear and obey me.

Your name will live forever.

You wished to bless this family

because you wanted to be remembered.

And I have been thanks to the sigil.

My entire life has been devoted

- to the needs of this family and preserving its memories. - I know.

I can barely remember the name I was born with.

The years do pile on, don't they?

I became an Auldcraft when I married your grandson.

Which was wonderful.

Make me proud of that name, Richard, like you always do.

Victoria, I just can't do it.

Not even for you.

Well, here we are.

The final choice.

Are you motivated by love or by the past?

You must choose at last.

I have so much more to give you, Richard.

This house, the family party,

Mary, an amuse bouche before every feast.

And yes, your picture can be on the money.

Choose now, and forever.

Seymour, huh.

We're going to need a bell.

I started the ritual

by ringing a bell

to toll for the dead.

I, I've got an app for that.

That won't work with the Spirit World. It's digital.

Jeez, get with the times, Spirit World.

I have a bell.

Perfect.

Then I snuffed a candle.

Gee, what did the candle ever do to you?

Done.

And then I signed my name

in a book and I closed it.

Which book?

It's Jack.

We don't have a lot of time.

I don't remember. Uh...

It, it, it was the one about the family history,

the Auldcraft family history,

um, of births, uh, deaths, marriages.

It has to be here somewhere.

Start with the As.

Take your time.

Let's have some tea.

Don't mock tea.

Births, death, marriages?

I know the book.

Richard, I still don't understand

why you refused to record Seymour's birth.

Seymour, uh...

The... The other side of the blanket and all that.

I was never able to write your name in it, Seymour.

That's why your name isn't on the sigil.

Lucky for us.

'Cause this night is going so well.

So to reverse the ritual, you'd have to light the candle,

open the book and ring a bell.

To toll for the dead.

No, that's not all.

There has to be a binding phrase.

Um, how about, "'Round the fang, through the gums,

- look out Heaven, here he comes"? - Richard.

What did you say at the end of the ritual?

Uh, it's, it's, it's, it's on the tip of my tongue.

Say the binding phrase, Richard.

Don't rush me.

I said it's on the tip of my tongue.

We really should make haste.

Oh, oh, oh. I have it, I have it.

All right. Then it's time for one last family activity.

Say the binding phrase, Richard.

Here it goes.

To lift the sigil from the land,

use ghostly prayer in unwrit hand.

Uh, the bad portrait didn't give you a tip off that it was a demon?

Well, I was excited about the thought of immortality.

I didn't judge the syntax.

How can you have unwritten handwriting?

It's just paranormal prittle-prattle. It doesn't mean anything.

Is that your opinion, or the angel with scales?

Both of ours. We were trying to end the ceremony early.

We had previous engagements.

Oh, Richard, you are truly one of a kind.

Oh, thank you.

All right. Say the words, Richard.

All right, don't shout.

The dead shall stay to the end of time.

The fallen shall rise at the, the final time...

What does it mean?

It means that if we don't destroy this thing by the end of midnight,

we're screwed.

Lily, I need you by my side.

You don't have to say that

'cause that's where I already am.

I have to light the candle.

It's resisting!

Not enough magic bubble bath.

Let me try.

Lily. No, it's, it's too powerful.

Auldcrafts!

Are you okay?

On my signal.

One, two, three!

We're almost there.

Yeah, we have to open the book.

I'm not strong enough.

There's ghostly prayer in unwrit hand, "Seymour" name is unwritten,

and I'm a ghost.

Together. Seymour, we must open the book together.

Hey, it's almost midnight.

Victoria, ring the bell.

No!

- We're doomed. - We're out of time.

The fallen will rise at the final charge.

Oh, no. No.

The fallen will rise.

The fallen, arise!

Auldcraft, beware my wrath!

This thing doesn't want to hand out trick-or-treat candy.

Seymour.

Seymour!

It's absorbing my power.

Of course,

church bells ring at midnight on All Hallows' Eve.

To toll for the dead!

Now, Richard!

I am revoking the contract!

Can I open my eyes now?

Is this over?

One last throat for old time's sake.

- Hey, Jack. - What?

Go to hell.

The sigil and me had a deal.

A deal!

Now is it truly over?

Uh, yes.

Jack is gone.

The sigil is destroyed.

And we aren't bound to this plane any longer.

Then, now boarding to...

- Oh! - What is that?

Oh!

It's warmth!

I... I had forgotten what warmth felt like.

That, my dears, is the other side.

I shall retreat. The family will need a head count.

Um...

They don't all have heads.

Oh, Richard.

Allow me.

Everyone,

please adjourn to the cemetery.

This year the party continues upstairs.

Oh.

Lily, I'm pleased to introduce you

to over 200 years of Auldcrafts.

- Oh. - Bye, Mom.

Dad, see you in a minute.

Whoa!

Everyone...

Attention on me, please.

Yes, Richard.

Tonight was an extraordinary night.

And I confess that I see things

in a different light, literally.

And... I apologize

if my actions were a little less than convenient.

Less than?

- Look... - Apology accepted.

And thank you for making it, Richard.

Seymour.

I'm sorry. I... I misjudged you.

That's fine.

We're in different generations,

- like 200 years or so. - All right.

You're forgiven.

I guess we all signed contracts

without seeing the devil in the details every now and then.

I suppose I should follow them.

You know, I shouldn't think that paradise should compare to

all this.

Richard, if the worst you have to worry about

is lack of control,

it will be a very nice afterlife, after all.

Indeed.

Well, I... I should hurry up.

Humility is not my finest quality.

I shall be next.

Seymour,

you make me proud to be an Auldcraft.

Thank you.

Oh, I have a superior final thought this time.

It's all right to be sentimental as long as you are in love.

Bye, Victoria...

I'll miss you.

Remember us, Seymour.

I hope that whatever's beyond the great beyond,

there's a lovely cup of tea.

My turn.

Mom.

You don't have to say anything.

You're a wonderful son, and you've made me very proud.

But if you don't marry that girl,

I promise I will find a way to haunt you.

Yeah.

My love to both of you, depend on it.

Love you too, Mom.

My turn.

Oh.

Right.

Drink in front of me.

That'll make me feel better.

Just hang in there, Gerald.

What?

That's impossible, you know that.

Take it. Come on, try.

Hey, look at that.

Seymour, how'd you do that?

I am amazing.

Well, are you going to drink?

You don't have to tell me twice.

To the Auldcraft family.

I believe I... speak for everyone

when I say...

what the hell was that?

Oh, wow.

Oh, twice as smooth when you're dead.

Nephew...

you are, without a doubt,

the best bartender ever.

Ready for the golden light now?

All right, all right. Um...

I am a one for the road kind of guy.

It's going to be a long...

Gerald.

Oh, I love you two.

And I better not see you again

for a long, long time.

But when we do...

it's going to be one heck of a happy hour.

They're all gone.

All gone.

Are you sure?

I mean, I'm sure.

Well, the house doesn't seem so scary now

- without these vortexes of doom. - You bet.

It hasn't been this empty in

over 200 years.

It's kind of boring.

Come on, we could use a lifetime of boring

- at this point. - Point.

So, what are we going to do with this mansion?

Well, look at the place.

Obviously, we're going to keep it.

Kind of a perfect place to have my wedding.

Seymour Edwin Auldcraft,

are you finally proposing to me?

I mean, somebody has to keep the lineage going.

I mean, this place just screams...

Family!

We have a lot of planning to do.

There is definitely an app for that.

Auldcrafts, rest in peace.