Original subtitles

(gasps) No way!

-Iron Man? -Really? Where?

(in Russian accent) I am the Iron Man.

Hey, back of the line, pal.

The Iron Man?

He lives, he walks, he conquers in our bank?

I have to text all my friends. They're never gonna believe this.

Hey, could you do a voicemail message for me?

I do not know this voicemail.

Let me smash.

That's not paid for yet.

-(grunts) -(all screaming)

(alarm rings)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(crowd gasps)

OMG!

(Doom) With that Infinity Sword, I will rule the universe.

All right, Squaddies! Time to Hero Up!

♪ When the bad guys are out All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along ♪

♪ But they're always fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce ♪

♪ Dr. Doom ends up in tears ♪

♪ When Iron Man joins the fight ♪

♪ Falcon darts in from the sky Silver Surfer by his side ♪

♪ Thor's hammer has thunder's might ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! ♪

I hate those Squaddies!

(Iron Man) What? This is preposterous.

"Family Circus" is still in the paper.

And look at this headline.

"Iron Man: Threat Or Menace."

That's not me. I mean, it looks like me.

Guy's got my tech factor,

but... but... but it's not me.

Mr. Mayor, sir.

Super Hero Squad, I... Hey,

don't put me in the little picture in picture.

That's better. Iron Man, what were you thinking?

I-I mean sure, what celebrities

haven't thought about using their powers for evil?

But... but you can't actually do it.

Mayor, I didn't do it. That's not me on that video.

I believe you, I guess,

but my constituents are demanding to see you behind bars.

Mr. Mayor, sir, I'm innocent.

Sorry, shell-head.

Because of the cloud of suspicion factor hanging over you,

all in favor of taking Iron Man off active duty.

The heroes have spoken. Iron Man, please turn in

your Super Hero Squad identity card,

your corporate credit card,

your key to the city,

and your standard issue Squaddie undies.

Yeah, it hurts.

(Captain America) Hup, hup, and hup, soldier.

(door closes)

We really have to get the lights in here fixed.

(man) Fore!

(men) Fore!

(men shouting)

(sniffs)

(grunts)

Find anything?

Nada . Even the sand traps in this place are sparkling clean.

Those reports of a fractal must have been wrong.

We've combed through every inch of the grounds

and got nothing.

Well, if there's no fractal,

this is a really nice golf course.

(chuckles) Exclusive, too.

Hard to get a tee time here.

(clucks tongue)

Órale , this is what I'm talking about.

Eighteen holes of award-winning golf course

and no one in our...

...way.

-Abomination. -And MO-dork.

It's Wolverine and, uh...

Don't tell me, I'll get it.

Is it, uh...

uh...

Uh, Devil Dinosaur?

Moonboy? Oh, wait, this is awkward.

Oh, Lizard Lad. Uh, Reptile.

(groans) Reptil!

-The name is Reptil. -(laughs)

Nuh-uh, that's not it. Wait, uh...

How about zip it!

Great. All this trouble to sneak into a country club,

and now these meanies have to spoil everything.

If I were you, bub,

I'd worry about more important matters at hand.

-(growls) -Wait a sec.

-You two came here to golf? -Of course.

Why else would I dress like this?

(Reptil) Well, if we're going to throw down,

we might as well do it like gentlemen.

(man) Fore!

(grunts) Oh, I like it.

(giggles)

(man yells, cries)

Fore!

-(groans) -(giggles)

Newbie sliced.

I hope you have your passport

'cause I think that ball landed in the next country over.

-(laughs) -(growls)

I thought you sniffed it when you sliced.

(grunt)

I'll slice you!

Grumpy pants, grumpy pants.

Wolverine's a grumpy pants.

Take it easy, grumpy pants.

(Iron Man) Stark Tower.

Who says you can't go home again? Haven't been back here in a long time.

Guess this is where I'll start looking for that fake Iron...

You? The Iron Man imposter.

The only imposter I see here is you!

(grunts) You robbed that bank.

Now everyone thinks I'm a crook all because of you.

(grunting)

Stop talking like you're Iron Man.

Stop talking like you're on Reading Rainbow.

What the heck? Rhodey, is that you under there?

How did you know my... Hold up.

If you are the real Iron Man,

tell me something that only you would know.

You've been dating Squirrel Girl on the down low.

-Hmm. -Okay, your turn. Prove who you are.

Tell me something only Rhodey would know.

Mmm, uh, you once dated She-Hulk,

but it ended when you discovered that she's...

All right. Gentlemen don't discuss those things.

(laughs) Rhodey, how are you?

And why is my best friend wearing the Mark II armor?

Somebody had to.

Since you've been leading the Super Hero Squad,

I've had to cover all your other stuff.

Work for Stark Industries,

S.H.I.E.L.D., The Initiative, Illuminati,

that Jelly of the Month subscription

that you never got around to canceling.

Jelly of the Month Clu...

You mean the jelly that's hand delivered

every month by supermodels?

I've recently become a huge fan of apricot preserves.

Who hates you enough to want to frame you?

Well, how much time you got?

(Dr. Doom) Junk mail, junk mail.

Friend request from Magneto

and Titanium Man.

(muttering)

Delete, delete, delete! (gasps)

Crimson Dynamo! (chuckles)

Normally I despise actors,

but your performance as Iron Man...

Bravo! Bravo!

And Milton. Milton!

Cutting the vault with your laser was surprisingly brilliant.

Well, thank you, Doctor Doom. I...

Wait, wait, wait.

What do you mean, surprisingly?

(in Russian accent) Iron Man is on the ropeski... Da ?

Now, we finish him. Da?

Yeah, duh.

(beeping)

(Doom) Iron Man has been spotted returning to Superhero City.

Now begins the next phase of my plan.

To destroy Iron Man!

(laughs)

(Doom laughs)

(coughing, wheezing)

(Crimson Dynamo) What is funny?

Oh, man, this is great.

You and me being superheroes together.

Yeah, I've always wanted a sidekick.

Wait a minute. I am not the sidekick.

You're the sidekick.

Forget it. We'll figure it out later.

Right now let's figure out who really robbed that bank.

-Bend the elbow, straighten the back. -(bone cracks)

No, wait, other way. Straighten the elbows, bend the back.

-And don't choke. -(yawning)

(laughing)

-(growls) -You're choking me.

You're choking.

Concentrate on the job in front of you.

(yelling, laughing, making noises)

(blowing raspberries, yelling)

Brontosaurus butt.

Were you saying something?

'Cause I couldn't hear you over the sound

of Reptil's ball going in the hole.

In the hole. (laughs)

Uh, lucky shot.

I'll give you a lucky shot.

To the nose!

-(growling) -(Reptil) Wolverine, no!

It's not worth it.

Hey, anybody mind if I play through?

(grunting)

Yah! Come on! You want some?

You don't want none of this!

You're lucky Abomination here is holding me back.

Uh, I'm not holding you.

Yeah, you are. You're so lucky!

(growling)

-Oh, yeah? -Maybe the new funny books are in.

-Yeah? -(man) Fore!

Sorry!

Huh. They forgot to lock the door?

Remind me to move my accounts to another bank.

I found the security system.

Why did he make a hole in the wall?

Look what's coming through the hole.

It's a second uni-beam.

Check the outside security cam.

(beeping)

The Melter. So, we know who cut the vault.

Now to find who actually took it.

Aha. When the fake Iron Man lifted the vault,

the weight pushed him down,

leaving this boot print.

Hey, look there. A Dynamo logo.

(Rhodey) The shoe company can't resist putting its logo everywhere.

I recognize that logo.

Dynamo's a company that manufactures knockoffs

of Stark technology.

I'm sure that means something. Want to share?

Crimson Dynamo.

He used that company to make his armor suit and boots.

The Crimson Dynamo must be working with The Melter.

-But why? -(Dr. Doom laughing)

Why? Why?

Because I demand it!

Doom. I should have known.

Yes, you should have.

(laughs)

Such a brilliant plan to bring down my foe.

It could only have come from the genius of Doom.

But tell me, why are there two of you?

(both) He's my sidekick.

(gibbering, wheezing) I don't care.

I don't care which is the real one!

I will destroy you both!

(gasps) Oh.

Fools! Now, go!

-(laughs) -(grunting)

(grunting)

I am Crimson Dynamo.

I am break you!

I'm Rhodey. I'm a Sagittarius.

Don't you watch the movies?

The smaller guy always wins the fight.

I don't watch movies, except Beaches .

Bette Midler make me...

(sniveling)

Popular entertainment is for the weak.

Crimson Dynamo is strong!

Look. I'm lift you,

and I have throw you down!

How can superhero defeat Crimson Dynamo?

I have promised to break you.

Okely-dokely. I am break you now!

Hold on, Rhodey. I've got you.

(grunts)

Sorry, Rhodey. My bad.

If we get out of this alive,

I'm getting a new sidekick!

Yaah!

Rhodey! Ah!

Ah.

Hmm.

Eighteenth hole, baby.

Whoever takes this hole wins the game.

Oh, I can't believe we're tied with them.

They have to be cheating somehow.

There. Yeah, yeah.

Right down the middle.

-Boom. -Boom.

(chuckles)

Keep a close eye on him.

Qué?

Oh! (gasps)

(Wolverine) A fractal!

But nothing's happening.

Uh, must be a dud.

Come on, Reptil. It's your shot.

Oh, pretty.

Huh. Da-da. Oh!

We are so going to win now.

After all, two heads are better than one.

This cable's got a dampening field.

And it's cutting off the electrical systems in our armor.

(Dr. Doom) It was too easy, Iron Man,

to ruin your reputation with a fake robbery,

to humiliate you and force you out of the city in disgrace,

to weaken the Super Hero Squad by removing its leader.

And now, to hold you helpless while I destroy you!

I expect better of my arch-foe.

I'm not complaining, by the way. I'm just saying.

Pretty hideout. Who decorated it, Mole Man?

No, fee-fi-foe!

My Villainville Volcano Lair.

A recent tide shift in the continental plates

has made this previously dormant volcano

dangerously unstable.

My volcanic accelerator will cause the volcano to erupt!

You're dangerously unstable.

You'll destroy the entire city.

Really? It will? Oh, my, my, my.

Such a great idea. Thank you so ever much.

But first, it will destroy the Iron Man!

(laughs)

(laughs)

(Crimson Dynamo) What is funny?

-(Iron Man) We have to think fast. -I'll think of some way out.

You think of one of your usual bad jokes.

Hey, could you wait to criticize me till, oh, I don't know,

after we get away from this sinking lava death trap?

No. Let's talk about this now

because you've been acting all mopesy ever since Dark Tower.

I'm not mopesy. I'm annoyed.

My so-called best friend,

who I used to talk to all the time,

never calls me, never emails me.

Ever since I joined the Super Hero Squad,

it's like... it's like you quit being my friend.

Oh, please.

Come on. Like I've had time to call you.

I'm up to my neck in work because you dumped it all in my lap.

So, don't tell me I quit being your friend.

You quit on me.

Nobody asked you to put on the armor or do all my work.

Well, somebody had to.

(grumbling)

Does this thing go any faster?

Why do not they just start crying?

Interpersonal relationships are for the weak.

Crimson Dynamo am strong!

Let's finish this later.

Later? Before or after we're swimming in lava?

That's true. The armor systems are down.

But we can still do some things manually.

I'm going to eject the ion stream generator

from my boot jets.

(laughs) Wrong button.

-(Rhodey) Whoa! -(Iron Man) Whoa!

Fools! Your pathetic attempt to escape has failed.

It wasn't an attempt to escape.

(Thor) Nay. 'Twas a signal flare.

Sorry it took so long.

I couldn't get Thor out of the restroom.

Hero up, tinsel-toned warrior.

♪ When the bad guys are out All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad ♪

Huzzah! So says I!

(grunts)

(growling)

Yield, foul villain.

You may have saved Iron Man,

-but you will not save your precious city. -(beeping)

The volcanic accelerator will cause an eruption on an epic scale!

Superhero City will be majorly kaput!

(grunting)

(roaring)

(Dr. Doom laughing)

(laughs)

(growling)

Hand over that fractal. Now!

Well, we still have a deal.

The winner of the golf game wins the fractal.

Deal's a deal. Winner take all.

(both laughing)

(both laughing)

Ah!

(MODOK) Geez, berserker boy, chill out.

He missed.

When I make this next putt, we win the fractal.

Ah-ah.

-Wait. -Whoa! Whoa!

-(panting) -(growling)

This is for framing my best friend,

this is for zapping me in the bank,

and this is for that cheesy accent.

High five.

(both grunting)

-This isn't working. -Oh, forget it.

Have at thee.

(grunts)

Oh.

-Ha, ha! -Cheap shot.

Your victory is all for naught!

(Doom) In seconds, the volcano will destroy everything!

Including you?

No, of course not me.

I plan to live a long, happy life

on the charred remains of Superhero City!

Au revoir. Auf Wiedersehen.

Buh-bye. Out!

(Thor) Cowardly knave!

How evilly convenient. An escape hatch.

Hurry. We have to stop that machine before it fires up the lava.

(grunting)

Quickly, friends. Our end is nigh.

Wait. Does the lava have to go up?

(grunts)

(Silver Surfer) It's going to blow.

Thou hath done it, Surfer.

Our end is no longer nigh.

Superhero City is saved.

Sounds good to me, but where is all that lava going?

You make this putt, handsome,

we win the game.

No pressure.

-No! -No way!

(laughs)

(growling)

-You handsome dog. -(rumbling)

(burp)

-Whoa! -Ho, ho!

We win! Hee, hee! Win!

Bogus! We can't lose because of an earthquake.

The deal is off.

We're not giving you that fractal without a fight.

I was kind of hoping you'd say that.

(grunts)

What did you say? Huh? Huh?

(Reptil) Tyrannosaurus teeth.

(roaring)

(screaming)

(roars)

Oh, well, I don't need her now. Ah!

Uh-oh.

Let's get out of here.

And if anyone asks, we won.

(grunting)

Wolverine, I can't believe we lost the fractal to those guys.

We've got bigger things to worry about.

That was a live fractal,

but it didn't have any effect on you.

Maybe there's something weird with that fractal.

Maybe they're just unpredictable.

Or maybe you're fractal-proof.

We better fill in Iron Man when we see him.

Ah, success,

my armored and lightly toasted friends.

The fake Iron Man armor plus the money from the bank vault.

You're certain to be exonerated.

Yeah, your reputation is back to what it's always been, squeaky clean.

Couldn't have done it without your help, friend.

You mean best friend.

I mean best friend.

In Asgard, brothers-in-arms hug all the time.

(Thor) Ah, go on, hug it out.

Let's finish this later.

For your heroic service

and for agreeing not to sue us for slander,

I re-bestow this key to the city

to the most breathtaking, most sensational hero of all,

the invincible Four Bushmen,

uh, I mean Iron Man.

-(Thor) Well done! -(crowd cheering)

(Rhodey) On behalf of the Super Hero Squad

and Stark Industries,

we got Iron Man a really expensive gift.

a lifetime membership

to the exclusive, award-winning Superhero City Country Club.

(crowd cheering)

Does Iron Man know that the award-winning

eighteen-hole golf course is now just one giant hole?

(laughing)

(Wolverine) Let's not ruin the moment.

(theme music playing)