Original subtitles

(theme music playing)

(growls)

Fraca... Oh.

Fracti...

Oh. Sparkly thing turn mayor to metal.

No, Hulk, that's a statue of the mayor,

but the fractal must have landed there when the Infinity Sword shattered.

OK.

There's a weird energy vortex under that statue

magnifying the fractal's power.

We got to get it out of here.

Ahhh!

(screaming)

By Odin's rainbow pony, what dark magic is this?

Ahhh!

That was weird.

-Boo! -Ahhh!

(Baron Mordo laughs)

Baron Mordo?

I thought you were trapped in Dr. Strange's vegetable crisper.

Yes, an aluminum can.

Most unpleasant.

His manservant Wong emptied the recycling

into the Dark Dimension!

-Look at the time. You know I was just... -Leaving? Not without me, you're not.

Power of the Mordo meld!

Ahhh!

(groans)

(Baron Mordo laughs)

That's why I hate magic.

(Baron Mordo cackling)

(Doom) With that Infinity Sword, I will rule the universe.

All right, Squaddies, time to Hero Up!

♪ When the bad guys are out All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along But they're always fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up! ♪

♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce Dr. Doom ends up in tears ♪

♪ When Iron Man Joins the fight ♪

♪ Falcon darts in from the sky Silver Surfer by his side ♪

♪ Thor's hammer Has thunder's might ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad ♪

I hate those Squaddies!

(pounding)

Ahhh.

(groans)

Hey, Iron Man OK?

OK? Oh, I'm more than OK.

I'm peachy!

Hunky-dory!

(laughing)

Now let's see what we can do with this.

(Wolverine) Hey, boss, why are we delivering the fractal here?

Because... Well, just because.

I can detect odd waves of cosmic darkness coming from our leader.

That explains the smell.

Mayhap he hath a cosmic stomachache

from thine freaky cosmic food.

Sorry, Thor.

My empanadas would be better

if I had taste buds.

Now that you've all helped me get that fractal back here, get lost!

Whoa!

(all grunting and groaning)

-Hey, what gives? -This goes way beyond

simple dissatisfaction with my cooking.

Whoa!

Yes, yes, I like this power.

I am no longer your friend Iron Man.

Call me Iron Menace.

-Wow. -And I intend to take over

Super Hero City and Villainville.

My therapist says I have issues with good and evil.

It is a problem.

I will amass an army here at Dark Industries

and use all the powers at my disposal.

Powers like this.

(groans)

(squawks)

Now, my new evil recruits, we attack.

Hulk smash.

No, big guy, we can't. Those are our friends.

(grunts) Fall back. We cannot harm our friends

in this less-than-stylish head gear.

Don't tell anybody,

but for once I agree with Blondie.

(laughs)

My newfound power is too much for them.

Now, evil recruit, we have nastiness to attend to.

Uh, what's so funny?

(Wolverine) So, what do we got to do to get the old bucket head back?

Uh, Hulk confused.

(chuckles) Not a new condition.

Verily, his name change to Iron Menace

should certainly have been a clue.

The human concept of comfort food might help.

I've made a fresh batch

of corn, dirt, and cabbage spaghetti.

Oh! (sniffs and gags)

Hulk feel pukey.

We must be cautious, Squaddies.

There's definitely a dark energy inhabiting Iron Man.

(growls) I only got one suggestion,

the best defense is a good offense.

Hulk still confused.

We should attack. Let's Hero Up!

♪ When the bad guys are out All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ They'll save the day again ♪

♪ Superhero Squad! Hero Up! ♪

There's a dark energy afoot.

-(grunts) -Whoa!

Ooh, I like what you have done with the place.

Oh, you do?

Well, there's no accounting for taste.

Seems a little bit D-U-L-L to me.

Ah, MODOK!

That was a facetious, villainous remark.

It did not require your comment!

Sheesh, what a grouch.

I can comment if I want to. You're not the boss of me.

Uh, actually, he is the boss of you.

(groans)

Ahhh!

(laughing)

We're dealing with some issues here, Doom.

We don't need your interference.

My spies tell me

Iron Man has stashed a fractal nearby,

and I want it.

Ahhh! It burns. It burns!

Ooh, is that parmesan?

Finally, someone who appreciates gourmet cooking.

Back for more, eh?

And you brought friends. Good.

More recruits for my dark army.

(laughing)

Iron Man just isn't himself today, Doom.

Perhaps we could schedule a battle later in the week?

Oh, that would be lovely.

(both struggling)

Uh, uh, uh.

Hey, that doesn't tickle.

Better get out of the way!

(MODOK) Get out of the way. No!

And look at all these toys

I found here at Dark Industries.

(grunting)

You take the one to the right.

I've got those over there.

On it.

(growls)

They are distracted. Capture more recruits.

Uh...

(growling)

Yes, all those plans I made in the Dark Dimension

are coming to fruition.

I will rule them all!

You're right.

He is not himself.

Now you will all join my dark army

and help me to conquer Super Hero City and VillainVille.

Nay, foul villain.

I shall not allow it.

Mjolnir, 'tis hammer time.

For Odin! For Asgard!

(all grunt)

(laughs)

(cries)

Hey, big hammer. You OK?

(moans)

Big hammer fight to save us.

Now Hulk get revenge.

No, my green friend.

First we need to get Thor to safety.

Withdraw now, while we all have a chance!

Hulk will be back

to make you sorry, Iron M... Meanie.

Let them run for now.

It's only a matter of time before they will join us.

(laughing)

You know, uh, hammer time always taketh away all my strength.

Do not fear, my teammate.

There. Is that better?

Oh.

(Thor throws up)

(Hulk) Wow. Only two of us now, Shiny.

I've been considering that, Hulk.

I think we need to call in some help.

(Hulk) Ugh, creepy.

Must be losing my sight. Everything looks dark.

No, we're just outside the Sanctum Sanctorum,

the house of Dr. Strange.

I sensed you would be coming. I put out a cheese platter.

Let Wong and I finish our online osh tour of Dungeon.

(video game music playing)

(giggling)

Hulk love games.

Eah.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, but you don't like my TV.

No matter. You're here about the dark power

taking hold in Super Hero City, aren't you?

You are very wise, friend.

It seems my foe, Baron Mordo, is in town.

Doctor, he's not just in town.

He's in Iron Man.

He now calls himself Iron Menace.

Way dark.

The Eye of Agamotto sees all.

That strange fractal, magnified by an energy vortex,

opened a portal to the Dark Dimension,

where Baron Mordo took over Iron Man and left him trapped.

I must get close enough to Iron Menace

to force Baron Mordo back to the Dark Dimension and rescue Iron Man.

But in order to do that,

we will need extra help with our cosmic factor,

so I've asked Valkyrie to help us out.

Ah! Hello, fair maiden.

By Odin's all-knowing ear cuff.

Didst my father send you to nurse me back to health?

(sigh) We've been through this, Thor.

Dr. Strange called me to help you defeat Baron Mordo.

But sure thou remembers our wild youth.

(rock music playing)

Behold my four-chord prowess.

Bring me a live bat. I summon.

What dorks these metal heads be.

The mall calleth.

Ah, the crazy train to Asgard.

My head doth bang with memories.

He used to bring a hammer to math class.

(chuckles)

We must hurry. I have an idea

where Iron Menace will strike next.

(laughs)

Phase 1 of my dark plot is complete.

Now to find more power.

Yes, yes, yes.

More fractals will increase my evil genius.

Dr. Doom has more fractals.

Then that is where we must attack next.

(laughing)

Ooh, Iron Man seems very aggressive today.

Oh, really?

Have you been paying attention?

Someone from a Dark Dimension has taken control of him.

Oh, you mean there's a darker dimension

than your downstairs game room?

(growls)

-Ow! Ow! -Hey!

Move in to defend Doom's HQ.

Say, we could call ourselves the Defenders.

Because we're defending. Whoa, that's deep.

Ugh! We would do well to let these tin cans take Doom apart.

Odd as it may sound,

we must defend Doom and his fractals

and, if we can, force Mordo back into the Dark Dimension.

Nothing sounds odd compared to Silver Surfer's recipe book.

We can't really hurt our enslaved friends,

but we can make them sick with some home cooking.

No!

Here's meat in you eye.

-Aw, sick. -(coughs)

Whoa, that's some truly powerful pie.

(grunting)

You must return to the Dark Dimension, Mordo.

Never!

Ahhh!

Now the all-tripping leg of Hoggoth.

Leave him to mine enchanted sword.

No, stay back.

Ahhh!

The Iron Menace is withdrawing.

He is wounded but not finished.

We will need help with that. Follow me.

Oh, look at this place.

Iron Menace? More like Iron Mess.

Don't try to be clever.

(Dr. Strange) Dr. Doom, I have a proposition for you.

Since we helped defend your headquarters from Iron Menace,

help us defeat him.

Really?

What's in it for me?

I know. How about a plate of fungus and ragweed burgers?

Yummy in the tummy.

I'll help only if you keep him from ever cooking again.

Why? It's my favorite kind of food. Free.

Ahhh!

(MODOK throws up)

The one thing we will need

is a fractal with which to open a portal to the Dark Dimension.

-(gags) -Watch the shoes.

Very well.

But it must remain in my possession.

Who knows what dark powers Mordo will unleash

if he senses defeat?

We must be vigilant.

We need battle cry.

The Hulkster's right.

How about "Defenders, get, um, defensive"?

-'Tis pretty lame. -(chuckles) Hulk like.

Hulk won't play without it.

(hums)

♪ I like cheese, I like kitties ♪

(all) Defenders, get defensive!

-Whoa! -(gasps)

Not only must you fight my dark powers,

you must also fight your friends. (laughing)

Friends? Abomination's really not my friend.

We're more like cubical mates or reluctant allies, really.

Whoa!

You cannot overcome the power

that I, Iron Menace, have amassed.

Amassed? Will kids know what that means?

Whatever.

Flee before the power of my... power.

Doom, your fractal. We need it now.

Use it!

Wow, he's so cranky.

By the Ashanti,

open the portal of Agamotto's younger cousin.

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

(groans) Oh, man.

I've got a headache the size of MODOK's head.

(screaming) OK, you can stop now.

But this is fun. (laughing)

It hurts a lot less without the headband.

Playtime's over. We are done here.

(groans)

Thou cannot leave.

Dr. Strange needs that portal you opened,

or he'll be trapped in the Dark Dimension forever.

Not my problem.

I did what I agreed to do.

Oh, you're such a bad guy.

Defenders...

(all) Get defensive!

Well, I don't hate it.

Surrender, Mordo.

You must remain here in your dimensional prison.

Never will I surrender to you

and your amateur magician mind-freak theatrics.

Oh, now you're getting personal.

(both grunting)

And he calls me theatrical.

(Mordo) You can't stop me,

for I am very evil.

(Mordo cackles)

Now I'm wet and evil. Why did you do that?

It worked in The Wizard of Oz.

Now, as he is distracted by dampness,

all-seeing Eye of Agamotto, total pupil power!

(grunts)

(groans)

Oh, you know how I detest dampness.

Gosh, that hurts.

This is all your fault.

No, it's not. Your fault!

Huh? Our psychiatrist will be so upset with our regression.

She'll want to see us twice a week,

and my evil insurance doesn't cover it.

Whoa, Iron Man, is that really you?

Yeah, I'm back.

Boy, am I dizzy.

-I could use a... -Cosmic burrito.

Ugh! You! No more cooking!

You promised.

Faster, MODOK, faster.

Who knows what his sauce could do to my armor?

Not to mention my cape and my entire ensemble.

That's French for outfit.

Fools!

Yeah. Better.

-(doors open) -(Dr. Strange) Hey, kids.

How goes the clean-up at Stark Industries?

The worst thing is that Mordo painted everything black.

I want to thank you two for your help.

Great job, Surfer.

For assembling the Defenders,

I'm going to let you be cook for a day at the Stark Industries Cafe.

You were the Iron Menace. Now I'm the Cosmic Chef.

We made such a great team.

I would invite the Silver Surfer and Hulk

to continue our work defending Super Hero City.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, verily,

I agree to join thee.

Whoa, whoa, slow down.

Before anyone agrees to anything,

just remember, you're part of the Super Hero Squad.

Besides, you want to sleep at the Sanctum Sanctorum?

Oh, creepy house give Hulk nightmares.

-No offense. -None taken.

But now Valkyrie and I must be off.

(whimpers)

Next time mine eyes fall on Valkyrie,

I shall kiss her.

So sweareth Thor.

(laughs)

It's now or never.

Gad!

Sheesh, I just got the Mordo cooties off my armor,

and now I've got your thunder spit.

(Thor) This never happened.

(theme music playing)