Original subtitles

( rock music playing )

( school bell rings )

( laughter ) >> GOTCHA. ( laughter and squealing )

>> HEY!

>> THERE YOU GO!

>> OH, FUCK. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! >> HMM.

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! >> HMM. >> FUCK, FUCK.

ANYBODY NEED ANYTHING... LOOFAHED? ( laughter )

YES, VIRGINIA, THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS. ( laughter )

YOU WANT IT? YOU WANT IT?

MAMA. OOH, YEAH. YEAH!

OOH, YEAH. YEAH! ( laughs )

YEAH! ( laughs ) AGH!

( laughs ) AGH! MOM?

AGH! MOM? >> PEE WEE!

MOM? >> PEE WEE! WILL YOU STOP JERKING OFF?

>> PEE WEE! WILL YOU STOP JERKING OFF? >> ( screams )

WILL YOU STOP JERKING OFF? >> ( screams ) >> JESUS, PEE WEE, GIVE IT A

>> ( screams ) >> JESUS, PEE WEE, GIVE IT A REST.

>> JESUS, PEE WEE, GIVE IT A REST. I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO ASK WHY

REST. I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO ASK WHY YOU SAID, "MOM."

I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO ASK WHY YOU SAID, "MOM." >> DON'T YOU EVER KNOCK?

YOU SAID, "MOM." >> DON'T YOU EVER KNOCK? >> NO, I DON'T.

>> DON'T YOU EVER KNOCK? >> NO, I DON'T. YOU'VE BEEN HOME FROM COLLEGE

>> NO, I DON'T. YOU'VE BEEN HOME FROM COLLEGE FOR TWO WEEKS AND YOU HAVEN'T

YOU'VE BEEN HOME FROM COLLEGE FOR TWO WEEKS AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE A DAMN THING BUT JERK OFF.

FOR TWO WEEKS AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE A DAMN THING BUT JERK OFF. YOU'RE TO BE AT YOUR UNCLE'S BY

DONE A DAMN THING BUT JERK OFF. YOU'RE TO BE AT YOUR UNCLE'S BY NOON.

>> OH, THAT'S GOOD.

THAT FEEL GOOD? ( sighs )

>> HERE'S TO ANOTHER SUMMER, TOMMY. HEY!

HEY! YO, PEE WEE. HOW'S IT HANGING, KID?

YO, PEE WEE. HOW'S IT HANGING, KID? >> BARELY.

HOW'S IT HANGING, KID? >> BARELY. >> FUCK YOU.

>> BARELY. >> FUCK YOU. >> WHAT'S WRONG, PEE WEE?

>> FUCK YOU. >> WHAT'S WRONG, PEE WEE? >> IT'S MY MOM.

>> WHAT'S WRONG, PEE WEE? >> IT'S MY MOM. SHE'S HASSLING ME TO GET A JOB

>> IT'S MY MOM. SHE'S HASSLING ME TO GET A JOB EVEN THOUGH I'M ALREADY

SHE'S HASSLING ME TO GET A JOB EVEN THOUGH I'M ALREADY HOUSE-SITTING FOR MY UNCLE

EVEN THOUGH I'M ALREADY HOUSE-SITTING FOR MY UNCLE HOWARD, BUT SHE SAYS THAT

HOUSE-SITTING FOR MY UNCLE HOWARD, BUT SHE SAYS THAT DOESN'T COUNT.

HOWARD, BUT SHE SAYS THAT DOESN'T COUNT. >> ISN'T YOUR UNCLE HOWARD THE

DOESN'T COUNT. >> ISN'T YOUR UNCLE HOWARD THE ONE WITH THE PLACE ON ANGEL

>> ISN'T YOUR UNCLE HOWARD THE ONE WITH THE PLACE ON ANGEL BEACH?

ONE WITH THE PLACE ON ANGEL BEACH? >> DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

BEACH? >> DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. >> IT'S WORTH A TRY.

>> DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. >> IT'S WORTH A TRY. >> BESIDES, THERE'S NO GIRLS

>> IT'S WORTH A TRY. >> BESIDES, THERE'S NO GIRLS ANYWHERE.

>> BESIDES, THERE'S NO GIRLS ANYWHERE. WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY?

ANYWHERE. WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY? >> WELL, I HEARD WENDY WENT TO

WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY? >> WELL, I HEARD WENDY WENT TO ITALY FOR THE SUMMER WITH THE

>> WELL, I HEARD WENDY WENT TO ITALY FOR THE SUMMER WITH THE NEW BOYFRIEND.

ITALY FOR THE SUMMER WITH THE NEW BOYFRIEND. GOD, I'M GONNA MISS THOSE

NEW BOYFRIEND. GOD, I'M GONNA MISS THOSE TATERS.

GOD, I'M GONNA MISS THOSE TATERS. >> THANKS, TOMMY, RUB IT IN, WHY

TATERS. >> THANKS, TOMMY, RUB IT IN, WHY DON'T YOU, HUH?

>> THANKS, TOMMY, RUB IT IN, WHY DON'T YOU, HUH? >> SORRY.

DON'T YOU, HUH? >> SORRY. >> WELL, YOU KNOW, PEE WEE,

>> SORRY. >> WELL, YOU KNOW, PEE WEE, MAYBE IF YOUR DICK WAS BIGGER,

>> WELL, YOU KNOW, PEE WEE, MAYBE IF YOUR DICK WAS BIGGER, SHE WOULD'VE HUNG AROUND.

MAYBE IF YOUR DICK WAS BIGGER, SHE WOULD'VE HUNG AROUND. I MEAN, SHE GAVE A HELL OF A

SHE WOULD'VE HUNG AROUND. I MEAN, SHE GAVE A HELL OF A BLOW JOB.

I MEAN, SHE GAVE A HELL OF A BLOW JOB. >> SWALLOWER.

BLOW JOB. >> SWALLOWER. >> OH, AND SHE LOVED ANAL.

>> SWALLOWER. >> OH, AND SHE LOVED ANAL. >> VERY GENEROUS.

>> OH, AND SHE LOVED ANAL. >> VERY GENEROUS. SHE HAD A MONSTER BUTTHOLE.

>> VERY GENEROUS. SHE HAD A MONSTER BUTTHOLE. >> OKAY, I GET IT.

SHE HAD A MONSTER BUTTHOLE. >> OKAY, I GET IT. THANKS.

HEY, UNCLE HOWARD. >> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, PEE WEE. KEEP THOSE DICK BEATERS AWAY

>> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, PEE WEE. KEEP THOSE DICK BEATERS AWAY FROM ME.

KEEP THOSE DICK BEATERS AWAY FROM ME. YOUR MOM SAID SHE CAUGHT YOU

FROM ME. YOUR MOM SAID SHE CAUGHT YOU JERKING IT THIS MORNING.

YOUR MOM SAID SHE CAUGHT YOU JERKING IT THIS MORNING. OH, SORRY.

JERKING IT THIS MORNING. OH, SORRY. LISTEN, PEE WEE, I'M REALLY GLAD

OH, SORRY. LISTEN, PEE WEE, I'M REALLY GLAD YOU'LL BE HERE KEEPING AN EYE ON

LISTEN, PEE WEE, I'M REALLY GLAD YOU'LL BE HERE KEEPING AN EYE ON MY THINGS WHILE I'M GONE INSTEAD

YOU'LL BE HERE KEEPING AN EYE ON MY THINGS WHILE I'M GONE INSTEAD OF SOME STRANGER.

MY THINGS WHILE I'M GONE INSTEAD OF SOME STRANGER. NOW THAT IS $1,000.

OF SOME STRANGER. NOW THAT IS $1,000. THAT'S FOR WATCHING MY PLACE.

NOW THAT IS $1,000. THAT'S FOR WATCHING MY PLACE. I WANTED YOU TO HAVE IT IN

THAT'S FOR WATCHING MY PLACE. I WANTED YOU TO HAVE IT IN ADVANCE.

I WANTED YOU TO HAVE IT IN ADVANCE. >> THANKS, UNCLE HOWARD.

ADVANCE. >> THANKS, UNCLE HOWARD. >> TAKE CARE OF MY PLACE, PEE

>> THANKS, UNCLE HOWARD. >> TAKE CARE OF MY PLACE, PEE WEE.

>> TAKE CARE OF MY PLACE, PEE WEE. >> YOU GOT NOTHING TO WORRY

WEE. >> YOU GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

>> YOU GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. YOU CAN COUNT ON ME.

>> I KNOW. I KNOW.

>> ( inhales deeply ) THANK YOU. ( grunts )

THANK YOU. ( grunts ) >> WELL, THIS DAY REALLY SUCKED

( grunts ) >> WELL, THIS DAY REALLY SUCKED DICK, BOYS.

>> WELL, THIS DAY REALLY SUCKED DICK, BOYS. >> ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

DICK, BOYS. >> ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS SERIOUS NOW.

>> ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS SERIOUS NOW. I NEED TO GET LAID.

THIS IS SERIOUS NOW. I NEED TO GET LAID. IT'S BEEN LIKE TWO YEARS.

I NEED TO GET LAID. IT'S BEEN LIKE TWO YEARS. IT'S THE LONGEST I'VE EVER GONE

IT'S BEEN LIKE TWO YEARS. IT'S THE LONGEST I'VE EVER GONE WITHOUT IT.

IT'S THE LONGEST I'VE EVER GONE WITHOUT IT. >> BESIDES THAT 17-YEAR STINT

WITHOUT IT. >> BESIDES THAT 17-YEAR STINT YOU HAD BEFORE YOU HAD THAT

>> BESIDES THAT 17-YEAR STINT YOU HAD BEFORE YOU HAD THAT ONE-NIGHT STAND WITH WENDY?

YOU HAD BEFORE YOU HAD THAT ONE-NIGHT STAND WITH WENDY? >> ( sighs )

ONE-NIGHT STAND WITH WENDY? >> ( sighs ) YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

>> ( sighs ) YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SUCH A LOSER.

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SUCH A LOSER. >> HEY, ONLY WHEN COMPARED TO

I'M SUCH A LOSER. >> HEY, ONLY WHEN COMPARED TO OTHER GUYS.

>> HEY, ONLY WHEN COMPARED TO OTHER GUYS. CHEER UP, BABE, THERE'S ALWAYS

OTHER GUYS. CHEER UP, BABE, THERE'S ALWAYS PORKY'S.

CHEER UP, BABE, THERE'S ALWAYS PORKY'S. >> PORKY'S?

PORKY'S. >> PORKY'S? THAT'S A MOB JOINT.

>> PORKY'S? THAT'S A MOB JOINT. ANYONE WHO MESSES WITH PORKY

THAT'S A MOB JOINT. ANYONE WHO MESSES WITH PORKY GETS SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP.

ANYONE WHO MESSES WITH PORKY GETS SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP. >> COME ON, PEE WEE, DON'T BE

GETS SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP. >> COME ON, PEE WEE, DON'T BE SUCH A WORRYWART.

>> COME ON, PEE WEE, DON'T BE SUCH A WORRYWART. THEY GOT A WHOLE NEW SETUP OVER

SUCH A WORRYWART. THEY GOT A WHOLE NEW SETUP OVER THERE, NEW MANAGER, NEW GIRLS,

THEY GOT A WHOLE NEW SETUP OVER THERE, NEW MANAGER, NEW GIRLS, NEW EVERYTHING.

THERE, NEW MANAGER, NEW GIRLS, NEW EVERYTHING. I EVEN HEAR THEY GOT PORN STARS

NEW EVERYTHING. I EVEN HEAR THEY GOT PORN STARS NOW.

I EVEN HEAR THEY GOT PORN STARS NOW. >> ( chuckles )

NOW. >> ( chuckles ) PORN.

>> ( chuckles ) PORN. >> I DON'T KNOW, TOMMY.

PORN. >> I DON'T KNOW, TOMMY. >> ARE YOU EVEN CONSIDERING

>> I DON'T KNOW, TOMMY. >> ARE YOU EVEN CONSIDERING MEAT'S FEELINGS HERE?

>> ARE YOU EVEN CONSIDERING MEAT'S FEELINGS HERE? >> YEAH, WHAT ABOUT ME?

MEAT'S FEELINGS HERE? >> YEAH, WHAT ABOUT ME? >> WHAT ABOUT YOU?

>> YEAH, WHAT ABOUT ME? >> WHAT ABOUT YOU? YOU'VE GOT A COCK THE SIZE OF A

>> WHAT ABOUT YOU? YOU'VE GOT A COCK THE SIZE OF A SLEDGEHAMMER, AND YOU'RE LEAVING

YOU'VE GOT A COCK THE SIZE OF A SLEDGEHAMMER, AND YOU'RE LEAVING FOR THE NAVY AT THE END OF THE

SLEDGEHAMMER, AND YOU'RE LEAVING FOR THE NAVY AT THE END OF THE SUMMER.

FOR THE NAVY AT THE END OF THE SUMMER. THAT'S PRACTICALLY A LICENSE FOR

SUMMER. THAT'S PRACTICALLY A LICENSE FOR PUSSY.

THAT'S PRACTICALLY A LICENSE FOR PUSSY. >> BULLSHIT!

PUSSY. >> BULLSHIT! I HAVEN'T BEEN LAID SINCE WENDY

>> BULLSHIT! I HAVEN'T BEEN LAID SINCE WENDY EITHER, OKAY?

I HAVEN'T BEEN LAID SINCE WENDY EITHER, OKAY? LOOK, I'M HORNY AS HELL, AND I'M

EITHER, OKAY? LOOK, I'M HORNY AS HELL, AND I'M NOT TOO PROUD TO DRIVE ALL THE

LOOK, I'M HORNY AS HELL, AND I'M NOT TOO PROUD TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY OUT TO BUMFUCK TO PAY FOR

NOT TOO PROUD TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY OUT TO BUMFUCK TO PAY FOR IT.

WAY OUT TO BUMFUCK TO PAY FOR IT. >> SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, PEE

IT. >> SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, PEE WEE?

>> SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, PEE WEE? >> GIVE ME PUSSY OR GIVE ME

WEE? >> GIVE ME PUSSY OR GIVE ME DEATH.

>> GIVE ME PUSSY OR GIVE ME DEATH. ( engine revs )

>> ( laughs ) LET'S GO! >> LET'S GO, BOYS.

LET'S GO! >> LET'S GO, BOYS. PEE WEE JUST BLEW HIS WAD.

>> LET'S GO, BOYS. PEE WEE JUST BLEW HIS WAD. >> WAIT UP, TWINKLE TOES.

PEE WEE JUST BLEW HIS WAD. >> WAIT UP, TWINKLE TOES. >> OH, MY GOD.

>> WAIT UP, TWINKLE TOES. >> OH, MY GOD. TINA TOPPERS IS HERE?

>> OH, MY GOD. TINA TOPPERS IS HERE? >> WOW, I'VE SEEN ALL HER

TINA TOPPERS IS HERE? >> WOW, I'VE SEEN ALL HER MOVIES.

>> WOW, I'VE SEEN ALL HER MOVIES. >> THAT'S RIGHT, GUEST STAR

MOVIES. >> THAT'S RIGHT, GUEST STAR PUSSY, AND IT'S ALL FOR SALE, MY

>> THAT'S RIGHT, GUEST STAR PUSSY, AND IT'S ALL FOR SALE, MY FRIEND.

PUSSY, AND IT'S ALL FOR SALE, MY FRIEND. ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS NAME YOUR

FRIEND. ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS NAME YOUR PRICE.

ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS NAME YOUR PRICE. >> THAT'S BEAUTIFUL, TOMMY.

PRICE. >> THAT'S BEAUTIFUL, TOMMY. >> I KNOW, BUDDY.

>> THAT'S BEAUTIFUL, TOMMY. >> I KNOW, BUDDY. I KNOW.

>> I KNOW, BUDDY. I KNOW. LET'S GET DINNER, BOYS.

I KNOW. LET'S GET DINNER, BOYS. >> ALL RIGHT!

LET'S GET DINNER, BOYS. >> ALL RIGHT! COME ON, BOYS!

>> ALL RIGHT! COME ON, BOYS! ( rock music playing, indistinct

COME ON, BOYS! ( rock music playing, indistinct conversations )

THANK YOU FOR THE BOUNTY I'M ABOUT TO RECEIVE.

( zipper unzips )

( guttural grunting ) ( man squeals ) ( slapping continues )

>> GO ON BACK. >> YEAH, THANKS. >> ( giggles )

>> YEAH, THANKS. >> ( giggles ) >> BUMMER, THE LINE FOR TINA

>> ( giggles ) >> BUMMER, THE LINE FOR TINA TOPPERS IS WAY LONG.

>> BUMMER, THE LINE FOR TINA TOPPERS IS WAY LONG. >> OH, I BET IT'S WORTH IT,

TOPPERS IS WAY LONG. >> OH, I BET IT'S WORTH IT, THOUGH.

>> OH, I BET IT'S WORTH IT, THOUGH. >> ( moans )

THOUGH. >> ( moans ) >> THANKS, YOU'RE VERY NICE.

>> ( moans ) >> THANKS, YOU'RE VERY NICE. NOT FOR ME.

>> THANKS, YOU'RE VERY NICE. NOT FOR ME. ALL RIGHT, BOYS, LET'S GET SOME

NOT FOR ME. ALL RIGHT, BOYS, LET'S GET SOME DRINKS.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS, LET'S GET SOME DRINKS. BARTENDER, ROUND OF BEERS FOR ME

DRINKS. BARTENDER, ROUND OF BEERS FOR ME AND MY BOYS, PLEASE.

BARTENDER, ROUND OF BEERS FOR ME AND MY BOYS, PLEASE. >> 36.

AND MY BOYS, PLEASE. >> 36. >> PEE?

>> 36. >> PEE? >> I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVEN

>> PEE? >> I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVEN MENTIONED THE MONEY.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVEN MENTIONED THE MONEY. >> BUT YOU DID.

MENTIONED THE MONEY. >> BUT YOU DID. >> HEY, WANNA PARTY?

>> BUT YOU DID. >> HEY, WANNA PARTY? >> NO, REALLY, I'M GOOD.

>> HEY, WANNA PARTY? >> NO, REALLY, I'M GOOD. YOU'RE CUTE, THOUGH.

>> NO, REALLY, I'M GOOD. YOU'RE CUTE, THOUGH. >> WHATEVER.

YOU'RE CUTE, THOUGH. >> WHATEVER. >> TIP INCLUDED.

>> WHATEVER. >> TIP INCLUDED. >> CHEERS.

>> HEY, DAD. >> HEY, BABY, HOW'S SCHOOL? >> GETTING As.

>> HEY, BABY, HOW'S SCHOOL? >> GETTING As. >> THAT'S GREAT.

>> GETTING As. >> THAT'S GREAT. >> YOU KNOW, I WAS TALKING TO

>> THAT'S GREAT. >> YOU KNOW, I WAS TALKING TO TINA LAST NIGHT.

>> YOU KNOW, I WAS TALKING TO TINA LAST NIGHT. THIS PLACE COULD BE SUCH A GOLD

TINA LAST NIGHT. THIS PLACE COULD BE SUCH A GOLD MINE.

THIS PLACE COULD BE SUCH A GOLD MINE. >> SHELLY, THIS IS THE BEST

MINE. >> SHELLY, THIS IS THE BEST HUMP AND DUMP WEST OF THE

>> SHELLY, THIS IS THE BEST HUMP AND DUMP WEST OF THE MISSISSIPPI.

HUMP AND DUMP WEST OF THE MISSISSIPPI. I MEAN, THIS IS A MAN'S

MISSISSIPPI. I MEAN, THIS IS A MAN'S BUSINESS, BABY.

I MEAN, THIS IS A MAN'S BUSINESS, BABY. TRUST ME, I KNOW WHAT A GUY

BUSINESS, BABY. TRUST ME, I KNOW WHAT A GUY WANTS.

TRUST ME, I KNOW WHAT A GUY WANTS. >> NOT AS MUCH AS TINA DOES.

WANTS. >> NOT AS MUCH AS TINA DOES. >> YOU KNOW, EVERY TIME YOU TALK

>> NOT AS MUCH AS TINA DOES. >> YOU KNOW, EVERY TIME YOU TALK TO THAT TINSELTOWN TWAT--

>> YOU KNOW, EVERY TIME YOU TALK TO THAT TINSELTOWN TWAT-- >> SHE'S ONE OF THE BIGGEST

TO THAT TINSELTOWN TWAT-- >> SHE'S ONE OF THE BIGGEST NAMES IN ADULT ENTERTAINMENT.

>> SHE'S ONE OF THE BIGGEST NAMES IN ADULT ENTERTAINMENT. >> THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID--

NAMES IN ADULT ENTERTAINMENT. >> THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID-- TINSELTOWN TWAT.

>> THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID-- TINSELTOWN TWAT. >> AND SHE'S GETTING HER PhD IN

TINSELTOWN TWAT. >> AND SHE'S GETTING HER PhD IN SEXUAL STUDIES.

>> AND SHE'S GETTING HER PhD IN SEXUAL STUDIES. SHE'S NO IDIOT.

SEXUAL STUDIES. SHE'S NO IDIOT. SHE COULD BE THE NEXT DR. RUTH.

SHE'S NO IDIOT. SHE COULD BE THE NEXT DR. RUTH. >> RIGHT, DR. ROOT ME SIX WAYS

SHE COULD BE THE NEXT DR. RUTH. >> RIGHT, DR. ROOT ME SIX WAYS FROM SUNDOWN.

>> RIGHT, DR. ROOT ME SIX WAYS FROM SUNDOWN. >> HEY, DAD, YOU SHOULD BE

FROM SUNDOWN. >> HEY, DAD, YOU SHOULD BE LISTENING TO HER.

>> HEY, DAD, YOU SHOULD BE LISTENING TO HER. SHE'S A LOT SMARTER THAN YOU

LISTENING TO HER. SHE'S A LOT SMARTER THAN YOU THINK.

SHE'S A LOT SMARTER THAN YOU THINK. >> WHY?

THINK. >> WHY? >> WHY?

>> WHY? >> WHY? PLEASE, THIS PLACE IS A DUMP.

>> WHY? PLEASE, THIS PLACE IS A DUMP. YOU NEED TO UPSCALE.

PLEASE, THIS PLACE IS A DUMP. YOU NEED TO UPSCALE. WORK CONDITIONS ARE TERRIBLE--

YOU NEED TO UPSCALE. WORK CONDITIONS ARE TERRIBLE-- LONG HOURS, LOUSY PAY, NO

WORK CONDITIONS ARE TERRIBLE-- LONG HOURS, LOUSY PAY, NO HEALTH CARE.

LONG HOURS, LOUSY PAY, NO HEALTH CARE. SINCE YOU TOOK OVER, DAD, STAFF

HEALTH CARE. SINCE YOU TOOK OVER, DAD, STAFF TURNOVER HAS NEARLY DOUBLED FROM

SINCE YOU TOOK OVER, DAD, STAFF TURNOVER HAS NEARLY DOUBLED FROM WHEN UNCLE CYRUS HAD THE PLACE.

TURNOVER HAS NEARLY DOUBLED FROM WHEN UNCLE CYRUS HAD THE PLACE. >> PLEASE, DON'T MENTION THAT

WHEN UNCLE CYRUS HAD THE PLACE. >> PLEASE, DON'T MENTION THAT DUMBASS'S NAME.

>> PLEASE, DON'T MENTION THAT DUMBASS'S NAME. HE ALMOST RUINED THE JOINT.

DUMBASS'S NAME. HE ALMOST RUINED THE JOINT. >> YOU'RE GOING TO DO THE SAME

HE ALMOST RUINED THE JOINT. >> YOU'RE GOING TO DO THE SAME THING IF YOU DON'T MAKE SOME

>> YOU'RE GOING TO DO THE SAME THING IF YOU DON'T MAKE SOME CHANGES.

THING IF YOU DON'T MAKE SOME CHANGES. SO I WROTE YOU UP A NEW BUSINESS

CHANGES. SO I WROTE YOU UP A NEW BUSINESS PLAN.

SO I WROTE YOU UP A NEW BUSINESS PLAN. TAKE A LOOK.

PLAN. TAKE A LOOK. >> OH, SHELLY, I'M SWAMPED HERE.

TAKE A LOOK. >> OH, SHELLY, I'M SWAMPED HERE. YEAH, I'LL-- I'LL LOOK AT IT.

>> OH, SHELLY, I'M SWAMPED HERE. YEAH, I'LL-- I'LL LOOK AT IT. WHEN I HAVE TIME, I WILL, I

YEAH, I'LL-- I'LL LOOK AT IT. WHEN I HAVE TIME, I WILL, I PROMISE.

WHEN I HAVE TIME, I WILL, I PROMISE. ( rock music continues )

>> GET SOME HELP? >> GENTLEMEN! LET ME INTEREST YOU IN OUR

>> GENTLEMEN! LET ME INTEREST YOU IN OUR WORLD-FAMOUS PORKETTES.

( women giggling ) >> COME ON, GIRLS, IT'S SHOWTIME.

>> ALL THE WAY FROM PITTSBURGH, WE GOT LEAH. LEAH LOST HER SENSE OF TASTE AND

WE GOT LEAH. LEAH LOST HER SENSE OF TASTE AND SMELL IN A SMALL FIRE, SO DON'T

LEAH LOST HER SENSE OF TASTE AND SMELL IN A SMALL FIRE, SO DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR A LITTLE

SMELL IN A SMALL FIRE, SO DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR A LITTLE A.T.M.

BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR A LITTLE A.T.M. >> SHE GOT THE MOUTH.

A.T.M. >> SHE GOT THE MOUTH. >> UH-HUH.

>> SHE GOT THE MOUTH. >> UH-HUH. NEXT WE HAVE CRYSTAL ALL THE WAY

>> UH-HUH. NEXT WE HAVE CRYSTAL ALL THE WAY FROM ATLANTA.

NEXT WE HAVE CRYSTAL ALL THE WAY FROM ATLANTA. CRYSTAL PREFERS TO USE THE BACK

FROM ATLANTA. CRYSTAL PREFERS TO USE THE BACK DOOR.

CRYSTAL PREFERS TO USE THE BACK DOOR. >> ( squeals )

DOOR. >> ( squeals ) >> WHAT CAN I SAY?

>> ( squeals ) >> WHAT CAN I SAY? SHE'S CATHOLIC.

>> WHAT CAN I SAY? SHE'S CATHOLIC. NEXT WE HAVE JENNY.

SHE'S CATHOLIC. NEXT WE HAVE JENNY. JENNY'S A SWEET THING FROM

NEXT WE HAVE JENNY. JENNY'S A SWEET THING FROM OKLAHOMA.

JENNY'S A SWEET THING FROM OKLAHOMA. SHE LOOKS YOUNG, DOESN'T SHE?

OKLAHOMA. SHE LOOKS YOUNG, DOESN'T SHE? DENTURES.

SHE LOOKS YOUNG, DOESN'T SHE? DENTURES. OUT, EASY ACCESS.

DENTURES. OUT, EASY ACCESS. THEN WE HAVE BRENDA.

OUT, EASY ACCESS. THEN WE HAVE BRENDA. BRENDA'S A LOCAL GIRL, HOT,

THEN WE HAVE BRENDA. BRENDA'S A LOCAL GIRL, HOT, CORN-FED, AND READY FOR A

BRENDA'S A LOCAL GIRL, HOT, CORN-FED, AND READY FOR A THREE-HOLE PUNCH.

CORN-FED, AND READY FOR A THREE-HOLE PUNCH. >> I'LL SUCK THAT DICK, BABY!

THREE-HOLE PUNCH. >> I'LL SUCK THAT DICK, BABY! >> THREE?

>> I'LL SUCK THAT DICK, BABY! >> THREE? >> I WANT THOSE TWO.

>> THREE? >> I WANT THOSE TWO. >> HOW ABOUT YOU, BIG BOY?

>> I WANT THOSE TWO. >> HOW ABOUT YOU, BIG BOY? YOU MADE YOUR SELECTION?

>> HOW ABOUT YOU, BIG BOY? YOU MADE YOUR SELECTION? >> SHE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL

YOU MADE YOUR SELECTION? >> SHE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL I'VE EVER SEEN.

>> SHE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL I'VE EVER SEEN. TONIGHT.

GIRL I'VE EVER SEEN. TONIGHT. WHAT ABOUT YOU?

TONIGHT. WHAT ABOUT YOU? >> NO, I'M GOOD, GOT LAID

WHAT ABOUT YOU? >> NO, I'M GOOD, GOT LAID YESTERDAY MORNING.

>> NO, I'M GOOD, GOT LAID YESTERDAY MORNING. DAD'S CLEANING LADY, SHE GOT A

YESTERDAY MORNING. DAD'S CLEANING LADY, SHE GOT A THING FOR ME.

DAD'S CLEANING LADY, SHE GOT A THING FOR ME. >> DUDE, SHE'S LIKE 60.

THING FOR ME. >> DUDE, SHE'S LIKE 60. >> SHE'S 58, TIGHT AS A DRUM,

>> DUDE, SHE'S LIKE 60. >> SHE'S 58, TIGHT AS A DRUM, AND HOWLS LIKE A BANSHEE.

>> SHE'S 58, TIGHT AS A DRUM, AND HOWLS LIKE A BANSHEE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, I'M GOOD.

AND HOWLS LIKE A BANSHEE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, I'M GOOD. >> WHO DO WE PAY?

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, I'M GOOD. >> WHO DO WE PAY? >> YOU PAY ME, BOYS.

>> WHO DO WE PAY? >> YOU PAY ME, BOYS. >> WELL, WE'D LIKE TO PAY FOR

>> YOU PAY ME, BOYS. >> WELL, WE'D LIKE TO PAY FOR A LITTLE FUN WITH SOME OF YOUR

>> WELL, WE'D LIKE TO PAY FOR A LITTLE FUN WITH SOME OF YOUR GIRLS TONIGHT, IF YOU DON'T

A LITTLE FUN WITH SOME OF YOUR GIRLS TONIGHT, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

GIRLS TONIGHT, IF YOU DON'T MIND. >> OH, YOU BOYS WANNA PARTY WITH

MIND. >> OH, YOU BOYS WANNA PARTY WITH MY GIRLS, HUH?

>> OH, YOU BOYS WANNA PARTY WITH MY GIRLS, HUH? >> YEAH.

MY GIRLS, HUH? >> YEAH. >> I DON'T KNOW.

>> YEAH. >> I DON'T KNOW. YOU LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF RICH

>> I DON'T KNOW. YOU LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF RICH ANGEL BEACH PUSSIES TO ME.

YOU LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF RICH ANGEL BEACH PUSSIES TO ME. >> YOU'RE HALF RIGHT.

ANGEL BEACH PUSSIES TO ME. >> YOU'RE HALF RIGHT. WE'RE NOT RICH.

>> YOU'RE HALF RIGHT. WE'RE NOT RICH. >> ( chuckles )

WE'RE NOT RICH. >> ( chuckles ) THAT'S GONNA BE $250 AN HOUR

>> ( chuckles ) THAT'S GONNA BE $250 AN HOUR FOR EACH OF YOU.

THAT'S GONNA BE $250 AN HOUR FOR EACH OF YOU. >> NONE FOR ME, THANKS.

FOR EACH OF YOU. >> NONE FOR ME, THANKS. >> I'LL TAKE TWO.

>> NONE FOR ME, THANKS. >> I'LL TAKE TWO. >> WELL, ALL RIGHT, LITTLE

>> I'LL TAKE TWO. >> WELL, ALL RIGHT, LITTLE BUDDY.

>> WELL, ALL RIGHT, LITTLE BUDDY. IT'S GONNA BE 750.

BUDDY. IT'S GONNA BE 750. YOU GOT THE CASH?

IT'S GONNA BE 750. YOU GOT THE CASH? >> OH, YEAH, YOU KNOW, UM...

>> KEEP ON COUNTING. ( chuckles ) >> THERE YOU ARE.

( chuckles ) >> THERE YOU ARE. >> NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A

>> THERE YOU ARE. >> NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A WAD, LADIES.

>> NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A WAD, LADIES. MY LITTLE MAN!

WAD, LADIES. MY LITTLE MAN! YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY-- LITTLE

MY LITTLE MAN! YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY-- LITTLE MAN, LITTLE DICK.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY-- LITTLE MAN, LITTLE DICK. I'M JUST MESSING WITH YOU,

MAN, LITTLE DICK. I'M JUST MESSING WITH YOU, PLAYING AROUND.

I'M JUST MESSING WITH YOU, PLAYING AROUND. THAT'S WHAT WE DO HERE.

PLAYING AROUND. THAT'S WHAT WE DO HERE. IT'S A MEN'S CLUB.

THAT'S WHAT WE DO HERE. IT'S A MEN'S CLUB. >> CAN I PLAY WITH THE GIRLS

IT'S A MEN'S CLUB. >> CAN I PLAY WITH THE GIRLS NOW?

>> CAN I PLAY WITH THE GIRLS NOW? ( cash register dings )

NOW? ( cash register dings ) >> WE ONLY HAVE ONE RULE.

( cash register dings ) >> WE ONLY HAVE ONE RULE. DON'T CUM IN OUR EYES, YOU GOT

>> WE ONLY HAVE ONE RULE. DON'T CUM IN OUR EYES, YOU GOT IT?

DON'T CUM IN OUR EYES, YOU GOT IT? >> MMM.

IT? >> MMM. GOD, YOU'RE SO HOT.

>> MMM. GOD, YOU'RE SO HOT. >> ( giggles )

GOD, YOU'RE SO HOT. >> ( giggles ) >> YOU WANT US TO GIVE YOU,

>> ( giggles ) >> YOU WANT US TO GIVE YOU, LIKE, THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE?

>> YOU WANT US TO GIVE YOU, LIKE, THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE? WE CAN MAKE YOU HOT.

LIKE, THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE? WE CAN MAKE YOU HOT. LAY DOWN.

WE CAN MAKE YOU HOT. LAY DOWN. >> ( moaning )

OH, YES. ( kissing ) >> TAKE THAT BRA OFF.

( kissing ) >> TAKE THAT BRA OFF. >> DEAR LORD, AS YOU KNOW,

>> TAKE THAT BRA OFF. >> DEAR LORD, AS YOU KNOW, ORDINARILY, I'M NOT A PRAYING

>> DEAR LORD, AS YOU KNOW, ORDINARILY, I'M NOT A PRAYING MAN.

ORDINARILY, I'M NOT A PRAYING MAN. I MEAN, GOD KNOWS I SHOULD BE,

MAN. I MEAN, GOD KNOWS I SHOULD BE, BUT...

I MEAN, GOD KNOWS I SHOULD BE, BUT... >> OH, YEAH.

BUT... >> OH, YEAH. >> IF YOU COULD SEE YOUR WAY

>> OH, YEAH. >> IF YOU COULD SEE YOUR WAY CLEAR TO LETTING ME LAST LONGER

>> IF YOU COULD SEE YOUR WAY CLEAR TO LETTING ME LAST LONGER THAN A MINUTE, I PROMISE I WILL

CLEAR TO LETTING ME LAST LONGER THAN A MINUTE, I PROMISE I WILL GO TO CHURCH EVERY S-- OH, MY

THAN A MINUTE, I PROMISE I WILL GO TO CHURCH EVERY S-- OH, MY GOD.

>> OH, YEAH, GRAB MY ASS. >> I LOVE YOUR ASS. OH, YEAH.

>> I LOVE YOUR ASS. OH, YEAH. >> ( grunts )

>> CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT LITTLE PECKERHEAD THINKS HE'S GONNA BANG TWO OF MY GIRLS AT ONCE?

PECKERHEAD THINKS HE'S GONNA BANG TWO OF MY GIRLS AT ONCE? >> LITTLE MAN SAID HE WANTED THE

BANG TWO OF MY GIRLS AT ONCE? >> LITTLE MAN SAID HE WANTED THE SECOND GIRL THERE FOR WHEN HE

>> LITTLE MAN SAID HE WANTED THE SECOND GIRL THERE FOR WHEN HE WORE THE FIRST GIRL OUT.

SECOND GIRL THERE FOR WHEN HE WORE THE FIRST GIRL OUT. >> OH, SHIT.

WORE THE FIRST GIRL OUT. >> OH, SHIT. ( both laugh )

>> THIS SEAT TAKEN? >> SAVING IT FOR YOU.

CAN I GET YOU A DRINK? >> NO, THANKS.

>> SO YOU COME HERE OFTEN? >> YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT. >> SORRY, YOU JUST DON'T SEEM

>> YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT. >> SORRY, YOU JUST DON'T SEEM LIKE THE TYPE TO COME TO

>> SORRY, YOU JUST DON'T SEEM LIKE THE TYPE TO COME TO PORKY'S.

LIKE THE TYPE TO COME TO PORKY'S. >> YOU KIND OF DO.

PORKY'S. >> YOU KIND OF DO. >> THANKS A LOT.

>> YOU KIND OF DO. >> THANKS A LOT. >> YOU'RE WELCOME.

>> THANKS A LOT. >> YOU'RE WELCOME. >> EXCUSE ME.

>> YOU'RE WELCOME. >> EXCUSE ME. LADIES, HI.

>> EXCUSE ME. LADIES, HI. DON'T YOU THINK I SHOULD BE IN

LADIES, HI. DON'T YOU THINK I SHOULD BE IN ON THIS?

DON'T YOU THINK I SHOULD BE IN ON THIS? LITTLE BIT OF ACTION FOR THE GUY

ON THIS? LITTLE BIT OF ACTION FOR THE GUY WITH THE MONEY?

LITTLE BIT OF ACTION FOR THE GUY WITH THE MONEY? KIND OF DEEP POCKETS OVER HERE,

WITH THE MONEY? KIND OF DEEP POCKETS OVER HERE, BIG CLIENT!

KIND OF DEEP POCKETS OVER HERE, BIG CLIENT! >> BY THE WAY, MY NAME'S MEAT.

BIG CLIENT! >> BY THE WAY, MY NAME'S MEAT. >> I KNOW.

>> BY THE WAY, MY NAME'S MEAT. >> I KNOW. YOUR FATHER USED TO CLEAN OUR

>> I KNOW. YOUR FATHER USED TO CLEAN OUR POOL.

YOUR FATHER USED TO CLEAN OUR POOL. HEY, DID HE GAIN SOME WEIGHT?

POOL. HEY, DID HE GAIN SOME WEIGHT? >> YEAH.

HEY, DID HE GAIN SOME WEIGHT? >> YEAH. OH, GOD, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

YEAH.

>> WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT? LOOK AT ME.

THAT? LOOK AT ME. DOES THE TERM "LOG SPLITTER"

LOOK AT ME. DOES THE TERM "LOG SPLITTER" MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?

DOES THE TERM "LOG SPLITTER" MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? OKAY, I'M GONNA HAVE TO MEASURE

MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? OKAY, I'M GONNA HAVE TO MEASURE IT.

OKAY, I'M GONNA HAVE TO MEASURE IT. >> BE MY GUEST.

>> ALL RIGHT, I'VE GOT THREE LEVELS, NORMAL, BIG-- >> AND MEAT.

>> HELL, NO. >> I'M ACTUALLY CHAPERONING WHILE MY FRIENDS, YOU KNOW, DO

>> I'M ACTUALLY CHAPERONING WHILE MY FRIENDS, YOU KNOW, DO THEIR THING.

WHILE MY FRIENDS, YOU KNOW, DO THEIR THING. ONE OF THEM'S JOINING THE NAVY,

THEIR THING. ONE OF THEM'S JOINING THE NAVY, AND WE WANTED TO GIVE HIM A NICE

ONE OF THEM'S JOINING THE NAVY, AND WE WANTED TO GIVE HIM A NICE SEND-OFF.

AND WE WANTED TO GIVE HIM A NICE SEND-OFF. >> OH, HOW SWEET OF YOU.

SEND-OFF. >> OH, HOW SWEET OF YOU. >> YEAH?

>> OH, HOW SWEET OF YOU. >> YEAH? >> YEAH.

>> YEAH? >> YEAH. >> SO HOW'S YOUR SUMMER?

>> YEAH. >> SO HOW'S YOUR SUMMER? ANY PLANS?

>> SO HOW'S YOUR SUMMER? ANY PLANS? >> NOT A DAMN THING.

ANY PLANS? >> NOT A DAMN THING. BORED AS HELL.

>> NOT A DAMN THING. BORED AS HELL. >> WELL, MAYBE WE CAN DO

BORED AS HELL. >> WELL, MAYBE WE CAN DO SOMETHING SOMETIME...

>> WELL, MAYBE WE CAN DO SOMETHING SOMETIME... TO CURE YOUR BOREDOM.

SOMETHING SOMETIME... TO CURE YOUR BOREDOM. >> SMOOTH.

>> EXCUSE ME? ( both moaning ) HI.

( both moaning ) HI. LADIES, CAN I PLEASE--

HI. LADIES, CAN I PLEASE-- >> FUCK OFF!

LADIES, CAN I PLEASE-- >> FUCK OFF! OH, YEAH.

>> FUCK OFF! OH, YEAH. >> MMM, YOU KNOW I LOVE THAT

OH, YEAH. >> MMM, YOU KNOW I LOVE THAT TONGUE.

>> MMM, YOU KNOW I LOVE THAT TONGUE. >> JACKPOT.

>> OOH, THANK YOU. >> NO. >> COME ON, I'M JOINING THE

>> NO. >> COME ON, I'M JOINING THE NAVY.

>> COME ON, I'M JOINING THE NAVY. I MEAN, WHO KNOWS HOW LONG IT'LL

NAVY. I MEAN, WHO KNOWS HOW LONG IT'LL BE.

I MEAN, WHO KNOWS HOW LONG IT'LL BE. >> I DON'T CARE.

BE. >> I DON'T CARE. I'M NOT A SOCK PUPPET.

BUT MAYBE I COULD PEEL THE BANANA AND MAKE IT CRY. >> HOW ABOUT A BLOW JOB?

OH, YEAH. >> OKAY. BUT I GOT ONE RULE-- DON'T MAKE

>> OKAY. BUT I GOT ONE RULE-- DON'T MAKE ME DEEP THROAT.

BUT I GOT ONE RULE-- DON'T MAKE ME DEEP THROAT. >> YOU GOT IT.

ME DEEP THROAT. >> YOU GOT IT. >> YOU TOUCH MY HEAD, IT'S OVER.

>> YOU GOT IT. >> YOU TOUCH MY HEAD, IT'S OVER. OKAY.

>> YOU TOUCH MY HEAD, IT'S OVER. OKAY. >> TALK TO THE GLAND, BABY.

OKAY. >> TALK TO THE GLAND, BABY. TALK TO THE GLAND.

>> TALK TO THE GLAND, BABY. TALK TO THE GLAND. >> WOW!

TALK TO THE GLAND. >> WOW! >> THANK YOU.

>> WOW! >> THANK YOU. >> HEY, DOES IT HURT WHEN YOU

>> THANK YOU. >> HEY, DOES IT HURT WHEN YOU WALK AROUND WITH THIS?

>> HEY, DOES IT HURT WHEN YOU WALK AROUND WITH THIS? >> SOMETIMES.

WALK AROUND WITH THIS? >> SOMETIMES. >> DO YOU GET SPECIAL PANTS FOR

>> SOMETIMES. >> DO YOU GET SPECIAL PANTS FOR IT?

>> DO YOU GET SPECIAL PANTS FOR IT? >> NO.

IT? >> NO. >> I DON'T KNOW, THIS IS GONNA

>> NO. >> I DON'T KNOW, THIS IS GONNA GIVE ME STRETCH MARKS.

>> I DON'T KNOW, THIS IS GONNA GIVE ME STRETCH MARKS. >> YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.

( women moaning ) >> MM, YEAH, I WANT TO GET ON TOP OF YOU.

>> MM, YEAH, I WANT TO GET ON TOP OF YOU. >> EXCUSE ME, LADIES, HI, SORRY

TOP OF YOU. >> EXCUSE ME, LADIES, HI, SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT IT'S ME

>> EXCUSE ME, LADIES, HI, SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT IT'S ME AGAIN, THE GUY WHO PAID FOR

TO BOTHER YOU, BUT IT'S ME AGAIN, THE GUY WHO PAID FOR THIS.

AGAIN, THE GUY WHO PAID FOR THIS. UM, I'M GONNA HAVE TO JOIN IN

THIS. UM, I'M GONNA HAVE TO JOIN IN HERE, OR I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO

UM, I'M GONNA HAVE TO JOIN IN HERE, OR I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO JUST TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, ALL

HERE, OR I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO JUST TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, ALL RIGHT?

JUST TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, ALL RIGHT? YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LET ME IN.

RIGHT? YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LET ME IN. >> WONDER WHAT'S TAKING HIM SO

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LET ME IN. >> WONDER WHAT'S TAKING HIM SO LONG.

>> WONDER WHAT'S TAKING HIM SO LONG. I DIDN'T THINK HE'D BE BUT A

LONG. I DIDN'T THINK HE'D BE BUT A MINUTE.

I DIDN'T THINK HE'D BE BUT A MINUTE. SO WHAT'S A GUY GOT TO DO TO GET

MINUTE. SO WHAT'S A GUY GOT TO DO TO GET A GIRL'S NUMBER?

SO WHAT'S A GUY GOT TO DO TO GET A GIRL'S NUMBER? >> WELL, FOR STARTERS, HE'S GOT

A GIRL'S NUMBER? >> WELL, FOR STARTERS, HE'S GOT TO ASK.

>> WELL, FOR STARTERS, HE'S GOT TO ASK. >> RIGHT.

( phone beeping ) >> DON'T LOSE IT. >> DON'T WORRY.

>> DON'T LOSE IT. >> DON'T WORRY. >> HE'LL SEE YOU NOW.

>> DON'T WORRY. >> HE'LL SEE YOU NOW. >> THANKS.

>> HE'LL SEE YOU NOW. >> THANKS. NICE TALKING TO YOU.

>> THANKS. NICE TALKING TO YOU. >> YOU TOO.

NICE TALKING TO YOU. >> YOU TOO. HEY, WOULD YOU WANT TO COME TO A

>> YOU TOO. HEY, WOULD YOU WANT TO COME TO A PARTY THIS WEEKEND?

HEY, WOULD YOU WANT TO COME TO A PARTY THIS WEEKEND? >> MAYBE.

PARTY THIS WEEKEND? >> MAYBE. CALL ME.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. IF YOU CAN'T JOIN THEM, BEAT IT. ( woman moaning )

YEAH, KEEP DOING THAT. OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH.

( both giggling ) >> IS THAT EVEN A DICK? THAT IS THE SMALLEST DICK I'VE

>> IS THAT EVEN A DICK? THAT IS THE SMALLEST DICK I'VE EVER SEEN!

THAT IS THE SMALLEST DICK I'VE EVER SEEN! OH, MY GOD!

EVER SEEN! OH, MY GOD! >> YEAH, BUT IT WORKS EVERY

OH, MY GOD! >> YEAH, BUT IT WORKS EVERY TIME.

>> YEAH, BUT IT WORKS EVERY TIME. OH!

TIME. OH! OH, YEAH!

OH! OH, YEAH! >> OH!

OH, YEAH! >> OH! OH, DISGUSTING!

>> OH! OH, DISGUSTING! MY EYE!

OH, DISGUSTING! MY EYE! >> I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!

MY EYE! >> I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT! ( both shouting )

>> I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT! ( both shouting ) >> OH...

( both shouting ) >> OH... ( Pee Wee shouting )

>> OH... ( Pee Wee shouting ) OH, GOD, YOU'RE THE BEST.

( Pee Wee shouting ) OH, GOD, YOU'RE THE BEST. >> ( moaning )

( chokes and gags ) >> OH, BABY, OH, SHIT, I'M SORRY, I FORGOT.

>> OH, BABY, OH, SHIT, I'M SORRY, I FORGOT. WHAT THE--

SORRY, I FORGOT. WHAT THE-- OH, WHAT THE FUCK?

WHAT THE-- OH, WHAT THE FUCK? >> I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH MY

OH, WHAT THE FUCK? >> I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH MY HEAD!

>> I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH MY HEAD! >> WHAT'D YOU EAT, CHILI?

HEAD! >> WHAT'D YOU EAT, CHILI? >> GROSS, I GOT MORE CUSTOMERS,

>> WHAT'D YOU EAT, CHILI? >> GROSS, I GOT MORE CUSTOMERS, ASSHOLE!

>> GROSS, I GOT MORE CUSTOMERS, ASSHOLE! >> ARE WE EVER GOING TO TALK

ASSHOLE! >> ARE WE EVER GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY BUSINESS PLAN FOR THIS

>> ARE WE EVER GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY BUSINESS PLAN FOR THIS PLACE?

ABOUT MY BUSINESS PLAN FOR THIS PLACE? >> SHELLY, DO NOT COME IN HERE

PLACE? >> SHELLY, DO NOT COME IN HERE STIRRING UP MY GIRLS, TRYING TO

>> SHELLY, DO NOT COME IN HERE STIRRING UP MY GIRLS, TRYING TO TELL ME HOW TO RUN MY BUSINESS.

STIRRING UP MY GIRLS, TRYING TO TELL ME HOW TO RUN MY BUSINESS. YOU ARE NOT A BUSINESSWOMAN.

TELL ME HOW TO RUN MY BUSINESS. YOU ARE NOT A BUSINESSWOMAN. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT

YOU ARE NOT A BUSINESSWOMAN. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.

YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS. YOU GREW UP WITH YOUR MOMMY A

THIS. YOU GREW UP WITH YOUR MOMMY A LONG WAY FROM HERE.

YOU GREW UP WITH YOUR MOMMY A LONG WAY FROM HERE. ( knock on door )

LONG WAY FROM HERE. ( knock on door ) WHAT IS IT?

( knock on door ) WHAT IS IT? >> WE GOT PROBLEMS.

WHAT IS IT? >> WE GOT PROBLEMS. >> IF IT AIN'T ONE THING, IT'S

>> WE GOT PROBLEMS. >> IF IT AIN'T ONE THING, IT'S ANOTHER.

>> IF IT AIN'T ONE THING, IT'S ANOTHER. >> PORKY, WHERE ARE YOU?!

ANOTHER. >> PORKY, WHERE ARE YOU?! ( all shouting )

>> PORKY, WHERE ARE YOU?! ( all shouting ) >> HEY, HEY, HEY!

( all shouting ) >> HEY, HEY, HEY! >> WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

>> HEY, HEY, HEY! >> WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT IS IT?

>> WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT IS IT? >> IT'S IN MY EYE!

WHAT IS IT? >> IT'S IN MY EYE! I'M BLIND!

>> IT'S IN MY EYE! I'M BLIND! I CAN'T GET MY CONTACT OUT!

I'M BLIND! I CAN'T GET MY CONTACT OUT! >> JEEZ, IS IT WRONG FOR A GUY

I CAN'T GET MY CONTACT OUT! >> JEEZ, IS IT WRONG FOR A GUY TO JERK IT WHILE TWO GIRLS GO AT

>> JEEZ, IS IT WRONG FOR A GUY TO JERK IT WHILE TWO GIRLS GO AT IT?

TO JERK IT WHILE TWO GIRLS GO AT IT? >> IT IS WHEN YOU CUM IN MY EYE,

IT? >> IT IS WHEN YOU CUM IN MY EYE, YOU SHITHEAD!

>> IT IS WHEN YOU CUM IN MY EYE, YOU SHITHEAD! >> SORRY.

YOU SHITHEAD! >> SORRY. >> THIS NO-DICK CAME IN MY EYE

>> SORRY. >> THIS NO-DICK CAME IN MY EYE WITH HIS STUPID BABY BATTER!

>> THIS NO-DICK CAME IN MY EYE WITH HIS STUPID BABY BATTER! >> AND HE MADE ME BARF.

WITH HIS STUPID BABY BATTER! >> AND HE MADE ME BARF. PORKY, HE'S NOT HUMAN.

>> AND HE MADE ME BARF. PORKY, HE'S NOT HUMAN. IT'S HUGE, IT'S--

PORKY, HE'S NOT HUMAN. IT'S HUGE, IT'S-- >> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, SHUT

IT'S HUGE, IT'S-- >> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, SHUT THE FUCK UP, WILL YOU?!

>> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, SHUT THE FUCK UP, WILL YOU?! >> OH, MY GOD!

THE FUCK UP, WILL YOU?! >> OH, MY GOD! >> THESE ARE MY GOOD SHOES!

>> OH, MY GOD! >> THESE ARE MY GOOD SHOES! >> AGAIN?

>> THESE ARE MY GOOD SHOES! >> AGAIN? HOW MUCH CHILI DID YOU EAT?

>> AGAIN? HOW MUCH CHILI DID YOU EAT? >> THESE ARE MADE FROM THE

HOW MUCH CHILI DID YOU EAT? >> THESE ARE MADE FROM THE FORESKIN OF A RHINOCEROS.

>> THESE ARE MADE FROM THE FORESKIN OF A RHINOCEROS. YOU CAN'T GET THESE ANYMORE.

FORESKIN OF A RHINOCEROS. YOU CAN'T GET THESE ANYMORE. ( crowd exclaiming and

YOU CAN'T GET THESE ANYMORE. ( crowd exclaiming and shouting )

ALL RIGHT, YOU! PENCIL DICK, YOU'RE OUT OF HERE! >> BUT I DIDN'T GET TO DO

PENCIL DICK, YOU'RE OUT OF HERE! >> BUT I DIDN'T GET TO DO ANYTHING.

>> BUT I DIDN'T GET TO DO ANYTHING. >> YOU BLEW YOUR GOO!

ANYTHING. >> YOU BLEW YOUR GOO! YOU'RE DONE UNLESS YOU WANT TO

>> YOU BLEW YOUR GOO! YOU'RE DONE UNLESS YOU WANT TO PAY FOR ANOTHER ROUND!

YOU'RE DONE UNLESS YOU WANT TO PAY FOR ANOTHER ROUND! >> EH?

PAY FOR ANOTHER ROUND! >> EH? >> WHAT ABOUT ME?

>> EH? >> WHAT ABOUT ME? >> YOU'RE OUT OF HERE, TOO.

>> WHAT ABOUT ME? >> YOU'RE OUT OF HERE, TOO. >> I DIDN'T EVEN CUM!

>> YOU'RE OUT OF HERE, TOO. >> I DIDN'T EVEN CUM! >> YEAH, WELL, I CAN'T HELP

>> I DIDN'T EVEN CUM! >> YEAH, WELL, I CAN'T HELP THAT.

>> YEAH, WELL, I CAN'T HELP THAT. I WANT ALL OF YOU ANGEL BEACH

THAT. I WANT ALL OF YOU ANGEL BEACH PUSSIES OUT OF HERE.

I WANT ALL OF YOU ANGEL BEACH PUSSIES OUT OF HERE. >> LISTEN, SIR--

PUSSIES OUT OF HERE. >> LISTEN, SIR-- >> YOU, TOO, ASSWIPE.

>> LISTEN, SIR-- >> YOU, TOO, ASSWIPE. YOU'RE FREAKING OUT MY GIRLS!

>> YOU, TOO, ASSWIPE. YOU'RE FREAKING OUT MY GIRLS! NOW GET OUT!

YOU'RE FREAKING OUT MY GIRLS! NOW GET OUT! >> WHAT ABOUT MY 750?

NOW GET OUT! >> WHAT ABOUT MY 750? >> YOU PAID TO GET YOUR ROCKS

>> WHAT ABOUT MY 750? >> YOU PAID TO GET YOUR ROCKS OFF.

>> YOU PAID TO GET YOUR ROCKS OFF. YOU DID, NOW GET THE FUCK OUTTA

OFF. YOU DID, NOW GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

YOU DID, NOW GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! ( all shouting )

( door slams ) >> WELL, THAT WAS REALLY FUN. YOU TWO CAMEL TOES CAN'T EVEN

>> WELL, THAT WAS REALLY FUN. YOU TWO CAMEL TOES CAN'T EVEN GET LAID IN A WHOREHOUSE.

YOU TWO CAMEL TOES CAN'T EVEN GET LAID IN A WHOREHOUSE. >> SHUT UP, TOMMY.

GET LAID IN A WHOREHOUSE. >> SHUT UP, TOMMY. I GOT CHILI IN MY UNDERWEAR.

>> SHUT UP, TOMMY. I GOT CHILI IN MY UNDERWEAR. AND THAT MIGHT'VE BEEN THE LAST

I GOT CHILI IN MY UNDERWEAR. AND THAT MIGHT'VE BEEN THE LAST TIME I GET LAID BEFORE I SHIP

AND THAT MIGHT'VE BEEN THE LAST TIME I GET LAID BEFORE I SHIP OUT!

TIME I GET LAID BEFORE I SHIP OUT! >> UH, HEY, DOUCHEBAGS, I DON'T

OUT! >> UH, HEY, DOUCHEBAGS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS ARE

>> UH, HEY, DOUCHEBAGS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT BECAUSE I PAID

KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT BECAUSE I PAID FOR IT, ALL RIGHT?

COMPLAINING ABOUT BECAUSE I PAID FOR IT, ALL RIGHT? I JUST PAID 750 BUCKS TO JACK

FOR IT, ALL RIGHT? I JUST PAID 750 BUCKS TO JACK OFF.

I JUST PAID 750 BUCKS TO JACK OFF. SHIT, I DID THAT ON THE WAY OVER

OFF. SHIT, I DID THAT ON THE WAY OVER HERE.

SHIT, I DID THAT ON THE WAY OVER HERE. >> NICE WORK.

HERE. >> NICE WORK. >> THANK YOU.

>> NICE WORK. >> THANK YOU. >> LOOK, FELLAS, I THINK WE NEED

>> THANK YOU. >> LOOK, FELLAS, I THINK WE NEED A NEW GAME PLAN HERE.

>> LOOK, FELLAS, I THINK WE NEED A NEW GAME PLAN HERE. HOW ABOUT WE ALL REGROUP AT YOUR

A NEW GAME PLAN HERE. HOW ABOUT WE ALL REGROUP AT YOUR UNCLE'S PLACE TOMORROW, YEAH?

HOW ABOUT WE ALL REGROUP AT YOUR UNCLE'S PLACE TOMORROW, YEAH? >> YEAH.

UNCLE'S PLACE TOMORROW, YEAH? >> YEAH. >> OKAY.

>> YEAH. >> OKAY. ( knock on door )

>> OKAY. ( knock on door ) >> WHO IS IT?

( knock on door ) >> WHO IS IT? TINA?

>> WHO IS IT? TINA? >> WE GOTTA TALK.

TINA? >> WE GOTTA TALK. >> WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR

>> WE GOTTA TALK. >> WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?

>> WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM? >> LISTEN, YOU'VE GOT ME BOOKED

PROBLEM? >> LISTEN, YOU'VE GOT ME BOOKED 17 TIMES TONIGHT.

>> LISTEN, YOU'VE GOT ME BOOKED 17 TIMES TONIGHT. >> IT'S A SLOW NIGHT.

17 TIMES TONIGHT. >> IT'S A SLOW NIGHT. >> CUTE.

>> IT'S A SLOW NIGHT. >> CUTE. YOU KNOW, HOW CAN YOU ASK ME TO

>> CUTE. YOU KNOW, HOW CAN YOU ASK ME TO PERFORM THAT MANY TIMES IN ONE

YOU KNOW, HOW CAN YOU ASK ME TO PERFORM THAT MANY TIMES IN ONE NIGHT AND EXPECT THE SAME LEVEL

PERFORM THAT MANY TIMES IN ONE NIGHT AND EXPECT THE SAME LEVEL OF QUALITY EVERY TIME?

NIGHT AND EXPECT THE SAME LEVEL OF QUALITY EVERY TIME? >> QUALITY?

OF QUALITY EVERY TIME? >> QUALITY? WHO THE FUCK SAID ANYTHING ABOUT

>> QUALITY? WHO THE FUCK SAID ANYTHING ABOUT QUALITY?

WHO THE FUCK SAID ANYTHING ABOUT QUALITY? >> GUYS JUST WANT TO SHOOT THEIR

QUALITY? >> GUYS JUST WANT TO SHOOT THEIR WAD, IN AND OUT.

>> GUYS JUST WANT TO SHOOT THEIR WAD, IN AND OUT. IT'S SIMPLE.

WAD, IN AND OUT. IT'S SIMPLE. >> MAYBE FOR YOU IT IS.

IT'S SIMPLE. >> MAYBE FOR YOU IT IS. >> I'M NOT ASKING YOU.

>> MAYBE FOR YOU IT IS. >> I'M NOT ASKING YOU. I'M TELLING YOU.

>> I'M NOT ASKING YOU. I'M TELLING YOU. WE GOT A CONTRACT, REMEMBER?

I'M TELLING YOU. WE GOT A CONTRACT, REMEMBER? >> I KNOW.

WE GOT A CONTRACT, REMEMBER? >> I KNOW. AND WE ALSO HAVE AN AGREEMENT

>> I KNOW. AND WE ALSO HAVE AN AGREEMENT THAT YOU LET ME DO THINGS MY

AND WE ALSO HAVE AN AGREEMENT THAT YOU LET ME DO THINGS MY WAY, BUT ALL YOU WANT IS A FUCK

THAT YOU LET ME DO THINGS MY WAY, BUT ALL YOU WANT IS A FUCK FACTORY.

WAY, BUT ALL YOU WANT IS A FUCK FACTORY. YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT MY CUSTOMERS

FACTORY. YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT MY CUSTOMERS TO THINK ABOUT, NOT TO MENTION

YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT MY CUSTOMERS TO THINK ABOUT, NOT TO MENTION MY THESIS.

TO THINK ABOUT, NOT TO MENTION MY THESIS. >> LOOK, MORE FUCKING EQUALS

MY THESIS. >> LOOK, MORE FUCKING EQUALS MORE MONEY.

>> LOOK, MORE FUCKING EQUALS MORE MONEY. I MEAN, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S

MORE MONEY. I MEAN, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A GENIUS, AND

I MEAN, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A GENIUS, AND WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT

SUPPOSED TO BE A GENIUS, AND WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT ANYWAY?

WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT ANYWAY? ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS LIE THERE

ANYWAY? ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS LIE THERE AND LET THESE JACKASSES DO ALL

ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS LIE THERE AND LET THESE JACKASSES DO ALL THE WORK.

AND LET THESE JACKASSES DO ALL THE WORK. NOW RUN ALONG, MISS PhD.

THE WORK. NOW RUN ALONG, MISS PhD. YOU GOT CUSTOMERS WAITING TO

NOW RUN ALONG, MISS PhD. YOU GOT CUSTOMERS WAITING TO FORNICATE.

YOU GOT CUSTOMERS WAITING TO FORNICATE. >> DAMN, LOOK AT PEE WEE'S

FORNICATE. >> DAMN, LOOK AT PEE WEE'S UNCLE'S CRIB.

>> DAMN, LOOK AT PEE WEE'S UNCLE'S CRIB. WOW!

UNCLE'S CRIB. WOW! >> IF GIRLS SAW THIS PLACE,

WOW! >> IF GIRLS SAW THIS PLACE, THEIR CLOTHES WOULD FALL OFF.

>> IF GIRLS SAW THIS PLACE, THEIR CLOTHES WOULD FALL OFF. >> THIS PLACE IS DOPE.

THEIR CLOTHES WOULD FALL OFF. >> THIS PLACE IS DOPE. HOLY SHIT, PEE WEE, YOUR UNCLE

>> THIS PLACE IS DOPE. HOLY SHIT, PEE WEE, YOUR UNCLE MUST BE DOING ALL RIGHT.

HOLY SHIT, PEE WEE, YOUR UNCLE MUST BE DOING ALL RIGHT. >> ( farts )

MUST BE DOING ALL RIGHT. >> ( farts ) >> DUDE, YOU'RE DOING THE TURD

>> ( farts ) >> DUDE, YOU'RE DOING THE TURD DANCE.

>> DUDE, YOU'RE DOING THE TURD DANCE. YOU OKAY?

DANCE. YOU OKAY? >> NO, MAN, LUNCH DID NOT AGREE

YOU OKAY? >> NO, MAN, LUNCH DID NOT AGREE WITH ME.

>> NO, MAN, LUNCH DID NOT AGREE WITH ME. >> MUST PAY WELL BEING A

WITH ME. >> MUST PAY WELL BEING A FAGGY-ASS... HUH, PEE, HUH?!

>> MUST PAY WELL BEING A FAGGY-ASS... HUH, PEE, HUH?! >> HEY! ( farts )

FAGGY-ASS... HUH, PEE, HUH?! >> HEY! ( farts ) DUDE, SERIOUSLY, DO YOU WANT ME

>> HEY! ( farts ) DUDE, SERIOUSLY, DO YOU WANT ME TO BREW COFFEE ON YOU?

DUDE, SERIOUSLY, DO YOU WANT ME TO BREW COFFEE ON YOU? BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, I'M ABOUT TO

TO BREW COFFEE ON YOU? BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, I'M ABOUT TO SHART!

BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, I'M ABOUT TO SHART! >> YEAH, YEAH, SHART, PEE WEE,

SHART! >> YEAH, YEAH, SHART, PEE WEE, SHART!

>> YEAH, YEAH, SHART, PEE WEE, SHART! >> QUICK, QUICK, COME ON, LET'S

SHART! >> QUICK, QUICK, COME ON, LET'S GO, LET'S GO.

>> QUICK, QUICK, COME ON, LET'S GO, LET'S GO. OKAY, TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES.

GO, LET'S GO. OKAY, TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES. STAY RIGHT HERE.

OKAY, TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES. STAY RIGHT HERE. DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING.

STAY RIGHT HERE. DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. >> YES, SIR.

DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. >> YES, SIR. >> ( farting and splashing )

>> YES, SIR. >> ( farting and splashing ) >> WHAT THE HELL?

>> ( farting and splashing ) >> WHAT THE HELL? DAMN, BOY!

>> WHAT THE HELL? DAMN, BOY! LIGHT A MATCH, KID, SHIT.

DAMN, BOY! LIGHT A MATCH, KID, SHIT. >> WILL YOU STOP FUCKING WITH

LIGHT A MATCH, KID, SHIT. >> WILL YOU STOP FUCKING WITH ME?!

>> WILL YOU STOP FUCKING WITH ME?! I HAVE TO SHIT!

ME?! I HAVE TO SHIT! ( cell phone rings )

I HAVE TO SHIT! ( cell phone rings ) >> HELLO?

( cell phone rings ) >> HELLO? >> HEY, SHELLY, IT'S TOMMY FROM

>> HELLO? >> HEY, SHELLY, IT'S TOMMY FROM PORKY'S LAST NIGHT, REMEMBER?

>> HEY, SHELLY, IT'S TOMMY FROM PORKY'S LAST NIGHT, REMEMBER? >> OH, OF COURSE I REMEMBER.

PORKY'S LAST NIGHT, REMEMBER? >> OH, OF COURSE I REMEMBER. I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'D CALL.

>> OH, OF COURSE I REMEMBER. I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'D CALL. WHAT'S UP?

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'D CALL. WHAT'S UP? >> WELL, I JUST WANTED TO FOLLOW

WHAT'S UP? >> WELL, I JUST WANTED TO FOLLOW UP ON THAT PARTY I WAS TELLING

>> WELL, I JUST WANTED TO FOLLOW UP ON THAT PARTY I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.

UP ON THAT PARTY I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT. ( farting continues )

YOU ABOUT. ( farting continues ) IT'S GONNA BE TOMORROW NIGHT AT

( farting continues ) IT'S GONNA BE TOMORROW NIGHT AT MY BUDDY'S PLACE IN ANGEL BEACH.

IT'S GONNA BE TOMORROW NIGHT AT MY BUDDY'S PLACE IN ANGEL BEACH. THINK YOU CAN MAKE IT?

MY BUDDY'S PLACE IN ANGEL BEACH. THINK YOU CAN MAKE IT? >> SURE, I THINK I'M FREE.

THINK YOU CAN MAKE IT? >> SURE, I THINK I'M FREE. TEXT ME THE ADDRESS AND TIME.

>> SURE, I THINK I'M FREE. TEXT ME THE ADDRESS AND TIME. >> AWESOME.

TEXT ME THE ADDRESS AND TIME. >> AWESOME. HEY, ONE MORE THING.

>> AWESOME. HEY, ONE MORE THING. DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BRING SOME

HEY, ONE MORE THING. DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BRING SOME GIRLFRIENDS?

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BRING SOME GIRLFRIENDS? >> I THINK I CAN HANDLE THAT.

GIRLFRIENDS? >> I THINK I CAN HANDLE THAT. >> ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU

>> I THINK I CAN HANDLE THAT. >> ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

>> ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. >> OKAY, BYE.

TOMORROW. >> OKAY, BYE. ( farting continues )

>> OKAY, BYE. ( farting continues ) >> DAMN.

( farting continues ) >> DAMN. >> DUDE, YOU GIVING BIRTH IN

>> DAMN. >> DUDE, YOU GIVING BIRTH IN THERE?

>> HEY, TOMMY, CHECK OUT ALL THIS RICH GUY STUFF. ( toilet flushes )

THIS RICH GUY STUFF. ( toilet flushes ) >> SO MUCH BETTER.

( toilet flushes ) >> SO MUCH BETTER. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

>> SO MUCH BETTER. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ( toy squeaking )

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ( toy squeaking ) HEY! HEY!

( toy squeaking ) HEY! HEY! GUYS!

HEY! HEY! GUYS! I HOPE YOU DIDN'T TOUCH

GUYS! I HOPE YOU DIDN'T TOUCH ANYTHING!

I HOPE YOU DIDN'T TOUCH ANYTHING! >> LOOK, TOMMY, DOGGY STYLE.

ANYTHING! >> LOOK, TOMMY, DOGGY STYLE. >> WORK THAT BITCH.

>> LOOK, TOMMY, DOGGY STYLE. >> WORK THAT BITCH. ( squeaking )

>> WORK THAT BITCH. ( squeaking ) >> GUYS!

( squeaking ) >> GUYS! THESE ARE MY UNCLE'S ANTIQUES!

>> GUYS! THESE ARE MY UNCLE'S ANTIQUES! THEY'RE HIS MOST PRIZED

THESE ARE MY UNCLE'S ANTIQUES! THEY'RE HIS MOST PRIZED POSSESSIONS!

THEY'RE HIS MOST PRIZED POSSESSIONS! >> WELL, IN THAT CASE, MEAT, YOU

POSSESSIONS! >> WELL, IN THAT CASE, MEAT, YOU ARE A DAMN GAZELLE.

>> WELL, IN THAT CASE, MEAT, YOU ARE A DAMN GAZELLE. GO GET ME A TOUCHDOWN.

ARE A DAMN GAZELLE. GO GET ME A TOUCHDOWN. >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, STOP,

GO GET ME A TOUCHDOWN. >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, STOP, GUYS, STOP!

>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, STOP, GUYS, STOP! >> FLAG ON THE PLAY!

GUYS, STOP! >> FLAG ON THE PLAY! >> WIDE OPEN.

>> FLAG ON THE PLAY! >> WIDE OPEN. TOUCHDOWN.

>> WIDE OPEN. TOUCHDOWN. >> NO CHRIST AIR, TOMMY!

TOUCHDOWN. >> NO CHRIST AIR, TOMMY! PUT IT DOWN!

>> NO CHRIST AIR, TOMMY! PUT IT DOWN! >> SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO

PUT IT DOWN! >> SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO FIRST?

>> SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO FIRST? >> Both: LET'S HAVE A PARTY.

FIRST? >> Both: LET'S HAVE A PARTY. >> BLOW 'EM UP.

>> Both: LET'S HAVE A PARTY. >> BLOW 'EM UP. >> NO, NO, NO, NO.

>> BLOW 'EM UP. >> NO, NO, NO, NO. NO PARTY, NO BLOWING UP,

>> NO, NO, NO, NO. NO PARTY, NO BLOWING UP, ABSOLUTELY NOT, END OF STORY,

NO PARTY, NO BLOWING UP, ABSOLUTELY NOT, END OF STORY, THAT'S IT, PERIOD.

ABSOLUTELY NOT, END OF STORY, THAT'S IT, PERIOD. >> IT'S TOO LATE.

THAT'S IT, PERIOD. >> IT'S TOO LATE. I INVITED A GIRL I MET AT

>> IT'S TOO LATE. I INVITED A GIRL I MET AT PORKY'S, AND SHE'S BRINGING OVER

I INVITED A GIRL I MET AT PORKY'S, AND SHE'S BRINGING OVER SOME FRIENDS.

PORKY'S, AND SHE'S BRINGING OVER SOME FRIENDS. >> WHAT?

SOME FRIENDS. >> WHAT? DUDE, YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.

>> WHAT? DUDE, YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME. I DON'T WANT A HOOKER IN THIS

DUDE, YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME. I DON'T WANT A HOOKER IN THIS HOUSE.

I DON'T WANT A HOOKER IN THIS HOUSE. >> OH, YOU'D PAY TO FUCK A

HOUSE. >> OH, YOU'D PAY TO FUCK A HOOKER, BUT YOU DON'T WANNA HAVE

>> OH, YOU'D PAY TO FUCK A HOOKER, BUT YOU DON'T WANNA HAVE ONE IN YOUR HOUSE?

HOOKER, BUT YOU DON'T WANNA HAVE ONE IN YOUR HOUSE? THIS PARTY IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

ONE IN YOUR HOUSE? THIS PARTY IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. >> NO, IT ISN'T.

THIS PARTY IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. >> NO, IT ISN'T. >> IT'S GONNA BE FUN.

>> NO, IT ISN'T. >> IT'S GONNA BE FUN. >> NO, IT WON'T.

>> IT'S GONNA BE FUN. >> NO, IT WON'T. >> WE COULD ALL GET LAID.

>> NO, IT WON'T. >> WE COULD ALL GET LAID. >> LITTLE CHUCKA-CHUCKA?

>> WE COULD ALL GET LAID. >> LITTLE CHUCKA-CHUCKA? >> SO DO YOU EVEN KNOW THIS GUY?

>> LITTLE CHUCKA-CHUCKA? >> SO DO YOU EVEN KNOW THIS GUY? >> SURE, I MET HIM AT PORKY'S

>> SO DO YOU EVEN KNOW THIS GUY? >> SURE, I MET HIM AT PORKY'S THE OTHER NIGHT.

>> SURE, I MET HIM AT PORKY'S THE OTHER NIGHT. >> ( laughs )

THE OTHER NIGHT. >> ( laughs ) YOU MET A GUY AT PORKY'S AND

>> ( laughs ) YOU MET A GUY AT PORKY'S AND YOU WANT TO GO TO HIS PARTY?

YOU MET A GUY AT PORKY'S AND YOU WANT TO GO TO HIS PARTY? YOU'RE CRAZY.

YOU WANT TO GO TO HIS PARTY? YOU'RE CRAZY. >> HE'S NICE.

YOU'RE CRAZY. >> HE'S NICE. IT'S GONNA BE FUN.

>> HE'S NICE. IT'S GONNA BE FUN. BESIDES, YOU SAID YOURSELF

IT'S GONNA BE FUN. BESIDES, YOU SAID YOURSELF THERE'S NO GOOD GUYS AROUND THIS

BESIDES, YOU SAID YOURSELF THERE'S NO GOOD GUYS AROUND THIS SUMMER.

THERE'S NO GOOD GUYS AROUND THIS SUMMER. >> WELL, I WOULD LIKE TO MEET A

SUMMER. >> WELL, I WOULD LIKE TO MEET A NICE GUY.

>> WELL, I WOULD LIKE TO MEET A NICE GUY. >> WELL, MAYBE TOMMY HAS SOME

NICE GUY. >> WELL, MAYBE TOMMY HAS SOME NICE FRIENDS.

>> WELL, MAYBE TOMMY HAS SOME NICE FRIENDS. COME ON, LET'S MAKE THIS A HUGE

NICE FRIENDS. COME ON, LET'S MAKE THIS A HUGE FUCKING PARTY.

COME ON, LET'S MAKE THIS A HUGE FUCKING PARTY. ( cell phone dialing )

( cell phone rings )

>> HEY, SHEL, WHAT'S UP? >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW? YOU WANT TO COME TO A PARTY AT

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW? YOU WANT TO COME TO A PARTY AT ANGEL BEACH?

YOU WANT TO COME TO A PARTY AT ANGEL BEACH? >> GOD, I'D LOVE TO, BUT I'VE

ANGEL BEACH? >> GOD, I'D LOVE TO, BUT I'VE GOT TO WORK.

>> GOD, I'D LOVE TO, BUT I'VE GOT TO WORK. >> OH, TAKE THE DAY OFF.

GOT TO WORK. >> OH, TAKE THE DAY OFF. YOU DESERVE IT.

>> OH, TAKE THE DAY OFF. YOU DESERVE IT. >> YEAH, WELL, YOUR OLD MAN'S

YOU DESERVE IT. >> YEAH, WELL, YOUR OLD MAN'S GOT ME BOOKED SOLID.

>> YEAH, WELL, YOUR OLD MAN'S GOT ME BOOKED SOLID. >> FUCK HIM.

GOT ME BOOKED SOLID. >> FUCK HIM. GET OUT OF THERE AND HAVE SOME

>> FUCK HIM. GET OUT OF THERE AND HAVE SOME REAL FUN.

GET OUT OF THERE AND HAVE SOME REAL FUN. YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF.

REAL FUN. YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF. I'LL TEXT YOU THE ADDRESS.

YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF. I'LL TEXT YOU THE ADDRESS. >> MAYBE.

I'LL TEXT YOU THE ADDRESS. >> MAYBE. ( beep )

( women laughing, indistinct conversations )

( doorbell rings )

>> HEY, LADIES, YOU LOOK AWESOME. COME ON IN.

AWESOME. COME ON IN. >> HEY, TOMMY, THIS IS MY FRIEND

COME ON IN. >> HEY, TOMMY, THIS IS MY FRIEND VANESSA.

>> HEY, TOMMY, THIS IS MY FRIEND VANESSA. NICE TO MEET YOU.

VANESSA. NICE TO MEET YOU. >> NICE TO MEET YOU.

NICE TO MEET YOU. >> NICE TO MEET YOU. >> COME ON.

>> MAKE YOUR RESERVATIONS NOW, GENTLEMEN. SPACE IS LIMITED.

GENTLEMEN. SPACE IS LIMITED. WE ONLY GOT A FEW SPOTS LEFT.

SPACE IS LIMITED. WE ONLY GOT A FEW SPOTS LEFT. ONE-HOUR SESSION FOR MISS TINA

WE ONLY GOT A FEW SPOTS LEFT. ONE-HOUR SESSION FOR MISS TINA TOPPERS, $1,000.

ONE-HOUR SESSION FOR MISS TINA TOPPERS, $1,000. NOW, THAT INCLUDES TAX,

TOPPERS, $1,000. NOW, THAT INCLUDES TAX, BUT NO GRATUITY.

NOW, THAT INCLUDES TAX, BUT NO GRATUITY. WHICH ONE OF YOU BITCHES IS UP

BUT NO GRATUITY. WHICH ONE OF YOU BITCHES IS UP FIRST, HUH?

WHICH ONE OF YOU BITCHES IS UP FIRST, HUH? UP FIRST, YEAH.

FIRST, HUH? UP FIRST, YEAH. HE IN FIRST.

UP FIRST, YEAH. HE IN FIRST. HOW ABOUT SLOPPY SECONDS?

HE IN FIRST. HOW ABOUT SLOPPY SECONDS? SLOPPY SECONDS.

HOW ABOUT SLOPPY SECONDS? SLOPPY SECONDS. YOU GOT SLOPPY SECONDS.

SLOPPY SECONDS. YOU GOT SLOPPY SECONDS. TASTY THIRDS?

YOU GOT SLOPPY SECONDS. TASTY THIRDS? TASTY THIRDS?

TASTY THIRDS? TASTY THIRDS? ( man grunting, knock on door )

TASTY THIRDS? ( man grunting, knock on door ) >> TINA, I NEED YOU DOWN THE

( man grunting, knock on door ) >> TINA, I NEED YOU DOWN THE HALL.

>> TINA, I NEED YOU DOWN THE HALL. >> BUT WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED

HALL. >> BUT WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED YET.

>> BUT WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED YET. >> THIS NUMBNUTS AIN'T GONNA

YET. >> THIS NUMBNUTS AIN'T GONNA TAKE LONG.

>> THIS NUMBNUTS AIN'T GONNA TAKE LONG. COME ON, I GOT DICKS WAITING.

TAKE LONG. COME ON, I GOT DICKS WAITING. >> LOOK, IF I'M NOT BACK IN

COME ON, I GOT DICKS WAITING. >> LOOK, IF I'M NOT BACK IN FIVE, START WITHOUT ME.

>> LOOK, IF I'M NOT BACK IN FIVE, START WITHOUT ME. >> ( grunts )

FIVE, START WITHOUT ME. >> ( grunts ) ( rock music playing )

>> HEY! YOU GUYS, YELLOW TAPE, NO ENTRANCE, OKAY?

YOU GUYS, YELLOW TAPE, NO ENTRANCE, OKAY? ( cheering and laughter )

THANK YOU.

THAT WAY!

HELP.

NICE WORK.

QUITE A TURNOUT. DO WE HAVE YOU TO THANK FOR THAT?

DO WE HAVE YOU TO THANK FOR THAT? >> I TOLD SOME FRIENDS FROM

THAT? >> I TOLD SOME FRIENDS FROM SANTA CRUZ.

>> I TOLD SOME FRIENDS FROM SANTA CRUZ. >> YEAH?

SANTA CRUZ. >> YEAH? >> NOTHING TOO CRAZY.

( Meat talking indistinctly )

>> WELL, HELLO, BEAUTIFUL. I'M MEAT. >> I CAN TELL.

I'M MEAT. >> I CAN TELL. >> CAN YOU?

>> I CAN TELL. >> CAN YOU? COME ON IN.

>> CAN YOU? COME ON IN. >> THANKS.

>> HOW YOU DOING, PEE? YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?

>> WHAT DO YOU THINK, TOMMY, HUH? >> LOOSEN UP, PRINCESS.

HUH? >> LOOSEN UP, PRINCESS. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF IN

>> LOOSEN UP, PRINCESS. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS.

YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS. >> THIS IS A LOVELY HOUSE, PEE

FRONT OF THE GIRLS. >> THIS IS A LOVELY HOUSE, PEE WEE.

>> THIS IS A LOVELY HOUSE, PEE WEE. >> THANK YOU.

WEE. >> THANK YOU. I'M TRYING TO KEEP IT THAT WAY.

>> THANK YOU. I'M TRYING TO KEEP IT THAT WAY. >> HE'S JUST CONCERNED THAT

I'M TRYING TO KEEP IT THAT WAY. >> HE'S JUST CONCERNED THAT THINGS MIGHT GET A LITTLE OUT OF

>> HE'S JUST CONCERNED THAT THINGS MIGHT GET A LITTLE OUT OF HAND.

THINGS MIGHT GET A LITTLE OUT OF HAND. >> ISN'T THAT WHY YOU THROW A

HAND. >> ISN'T THAT WHY YOU THROW A PARTY IN THE FIRST PLACE?

>> ISN'T THAT WHY YOU THROW A PARTY IN THE FIRST PLACE? >> LOOK, YOU GOTTA MAKE LIKE

PARTY IN THE FIRST PLACE? >> LOOK, YOU GOTTA MAKE LIKE ESKIMO SNATCH AND CHILL.

>> LOOK, YOU GOTTA MAKE LIKE ESKIMO SNATCH AND CHILL. GO TO THE POOL AND CHECK OUT

ESKIMO SNATCH AND CHILL. GO TO THE POOL AND CHECK OUT SOME OF THAT FISHING.

GO TO THE POOL AND CHECK OUT SOME OF THAT FISHING. >> OW.

SOME OF THAT FISHING. >> OW. >> GET IN THERE, CHAMP.

>> OW. >> GET IN THERE, CHAMP. >> POOR GUY.

>> GET IN THERE, CHAMP. >> POOR GUY. >> HE'S SO CUTE.

>> POOR GUY. >> HE'S SO CUTE. >> HE SEEMS SWEET.

>> HE'S SO CUTE. >> HE SEEMS SWEET. >> YOU'RE A CHAMPION.

>> HE SEEMS SWEET. >> YOU'RE A CHAMPION. YOU LOOK GREAT.

>> HEY, YOU MUST BE PEE WEE. THIS IS YOUR HOUSE, RIGHT? GREAT PARTY.

THIS IS YOUR HOUSE, RIGHT? GREAT PARTY. >> THANKS.

GREAT PARTY. >> THANKS. >> YOU WANT TO COME IN?

>> THANKS. >> YOU WANT TO COME IN? THE WATER'S GREAT.

>> OH, MY GOD. >> OH, MY GOD. >> NICE.

>> OH, MY GOD. >> NICE. >> HEY, PEE WEE.

YOU WANT SOME COMPANY? >> GET IN THERE, BIG BOY. >> YOU LIVE HERE ALL ALONE?

>> GET IN THERE, BIG BOY. >> YOU LIVE HERE ALL ALONE? WOW, WHAT DO YOU DO?

>> YOU LIVE HERE ALL ALONE? WOW, WHAT DO YOU DO? >> I'M A DENTIST.

WOW, WHAT DO YOU DO? >> I'M A DENTIST. >> OH.

>> I'M A DENTIST. >> OH. THAT'S COOL.

>> OH. THAT'S COOL. ( laughs )

THAT'S COOL. ( laughs ) EASY, BIG FELLA.

( laughs ) EASY, BIG FELLA. >> SORRY.

EASY, BIG FELLA. >> SORRY. >> FEELS LIKE YOU'RE READY TO

>> SORRY. >> FEELS LIKE YOU'RE READY TO GO.

>> FEELS LIKE YOU'RE READY TO GO. WELL, MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING I

GO. WELL, MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING I CAN DO ABOUT THAT.

>> OH... HEY, UM, DO YOU HAVE A RETAINER ON OR SOMETHING?

HEY, UM, DO YOU HAVE A RETAINER ON OR SOMETHING? OH, MY GOD.

ON OR SOMETHING? OH, MY GOD. ( grunts )

OH, MY GOD. ( grunts ) OH, YEAH!

( grunts ) OH, YEAH! OH, MY GOD.

OH, YEAH! OH, MY GOD. ( grunting and panting )

OH, MY GOD. ( grunting and panting ) OH, YEAH!

( grunting and panting ) OH, YEAH! OH...

OH, YEAH! OH... ( grunts )

OH... ( grunts ) OH!

( grunts ) OH! OH-- OH, YEAH!

OH! OH-- OH, YEAH! >> ( laughs )

OH-- OH, YEAH! >> ( laughs ) >> ALL RIGHT, LADIES, WHO'S

>> ( laughs ) >> ALL RIGHT, LADIES, WHO'S NEXT?

>> ALL RIGHT, LADIES, WHO'S NEXT? ( all laughing )

>> ( squealing ) ( laughter )

OW! OW! OW! TOMMY! MEAT!

TOMMY! >> OH, BOY. >> HELP ME!

>> OH, BOY. >> HELP ME! HELP!

>> HELP ME! HELP! PULL IT!

HELP! PULL IT! PULL IT!

PULL IT! PULL IT! PULL ON THE ROCK!

PULL IT! PULL ON THE ROCK! ON THE ROCK!

PULL ON THE ROCK! ON THE ROCK! >> DID YOU SHAVE YOUR PUBES?

ON THE ROCK! >> DID YOU SHAVE YOUR PUBES? YOU'RE BALD.

>> DID YOU SHAVE YOUR PUBES? YOU'RE BALD. >> ONE! TWO!

YOU'RE BALD. >> ONE! TWO! >> OH, MY GOD.

>> ONE! TWO! >> OH, MY GOD. >> THREE!

>> OH, MY GOD. >> THREE! ( grunts )

>> THREE! ( grunts ) >> OH, GOSH.

( grunts ) >> OH, GOSH. >> OH, MY-- UGH.

>> WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON TONIGHT? WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

TONIGHT? WHERE IS EVERYBODY? >> DIDN'T YOU HEAR?

WHERE IS EVERYBODY? >> DIDN'T YOU HEAR? TINA TOOK THE DAY OFF.

>> DIDN'T YOU HEAR? TINA TOOK THE DAY OFF. ONE OF HER REGULARS TOLD ME.

TINA TOOK THE DAY OFF. ONE OF HER REGULARS TOLD ME. >> SHE DID WHAT?

ONE OF HER REGULARS TOLD ME. >> SHE DID WHAT? >> SHE TOOK THE DAY OFF.

>> SHE DID WHAT? >> SHE TOOK THE DAY OFF. >> WELL, SHE SURE AS SHIT DIDN'T

>> SHE TOOK THE DAY OFF. >> WELL, SHE SURE AS SHIT DIDN'T ASK ME.

>> WELL, SHE SURE AS SHIT DIDN'T ASK ME. WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINK SHE

ASK ME. WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?

WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINK SHE IS? >> MAN, YOU LOOK SO FAMILIAR.

IS? >> MAN, YOU LOOK SO FAMILIAR. YOU SURE WE NEVER MET?

>> MAN, YOU LOOK SO FAMILIAR. YOU SURE WE NEVER MET? >> YEAH, I REALLY DON'T GET OUT

YOU SURE WE NEVER MET? >> YEAH, I REALLY DON'T GET OUT MUCH.

>> YEAH, I REALLY DON'T GET OUT MUCH. SO, UM, WHEN DO YOU LEAVE TO

MUCH. SO, UM, WHEN DO YOU LEAVE TO JOIN THE NAVY?

SO, UM, WHEN DO YOU LEAVE TO JOIN THE NAVY? >> A FEW WEEKS.

JOIN THE NAVY? >> A FEW WEEKS. >> THINK I MIGHT BE ABLE TO

>> A FEW WEEKS. >> THINK I MIGHT BE ABLE TO CONVINCE YOU TO STAY?

>> I-I'LL STAY. ( hip-hop music playing )

>> I'M REALLY GLAD YOU CAME. >> I'M REALLY GLAD YOU CALLED. >> AND THANKS FOR BRINGING YOUR

>> I'M REALLY GLAD YOU CALLED. >> AND THANKS FOR BRINGING YOUR FRIENDS.

>> AND THANKS FOR BRINGING YOUR FRIENDS. >> DON'T MENTION IT.

( vomits )

>> WHY DID I LET THEM THROW THE PARTY?! ( screams )

>> HOW ARE YOU DOING? >> HEY. >> HEY.

>> HEY. >> HEY. CAN I SIT DOWN?

>> HEY. CAN I SIT DOWN? >> OH, YEAH, PLEASE, COME ON.

SORRY, IT'S A NERVOUS HABIT. >> YEAH, YOU LOOKED LIKE A NERVOUS WRECK IN THERE.

>> YEAH, YOU LOOKED LIKE A NERVOUS WRECK IN THERE. >> OH, REALLY, DO I?

NERVOUS WRECK IN THERE. >> OH, REALLY, DO I? GREAT, I'M GLAD IT'S THAT

>> OH, REALLY, DO I? GREAT, I'M GLAD IT'S THAT OBVIOUS.

GREAT, I'M GLAD IT'S THAT OBVIOUS. SHIT, I'M JUST...

OBVIOUS. SHIT, I'M JUST... TRYING TO RELAX.

SHIT, I'M JUST... TRYING TO RELAX. SHIT, IT'S JUST THAT, YOU KNOW,

TRYING TO RELAX. SHIT, IT'S JUST THAT, YOU KNOW, THIS IS MY UNCLE'S HOUSE, AND

SHIT, IT'S JUST THAT, YOU KNOW, THIS IS MY UNCLE'S HOUSE, AND I'M TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF IT,

THIS IS MY UNCLE'S HOUSE, AND I'M TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF IT, AND I DON'T WANT TO BLOW IT.

I'M TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF IT, AND I DON'T WANT TO BLOW IT. >> SOUNDS LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT

AND I DON'T WANT TO BLOW IT. >> SOUNDS LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR UNCLE A LOT.

>> SOUNDS LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR UNCLE A LOT. >> YEAH, YEAH, I DO, YOU KNOW?

YOUR UNCLE A LOT. >> YEAH, YEAH, I DO, YOU KNOW? HE'S ONE OF THE VERY FEW PEOPLE

>> YEAH, YEAH, I DO, YOU KNOW? HE'S ONE OF THE VERY FEW PEOPLE I CAN ACTUALLY LOOK UP TO.

HE'S ONE OF THE VERY FEW PEOPLE I CAN ACTUALLY LOOK UP TO. I MEAN, THE MAN'S A DENTIST, FOR

I CAN ACTUALLY LOOK UP TO. I MEAN, THE MAN'S A DENTIST, FOR GOD'S SAKE, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, THE MAN'S A DENTIST, FOR GOD'S SAKE, YOU KNOW? AND HE'S ON A CRUISE IN THE

GOD'S SAKE, YOU KNOW? AND HE'S ON A CRUISE IN THE CARIBBEAN WHILE HIS JACKASS

AND HE'S ON A CRUISE IN THE CARIBBEAN WHILE HIS JACKASS NEPHEW IS TRASHING THE PLACE.

CARIBBEAN WHILE HIS JACKASS NEPHEW IS TRASHING THE PLACE. >> WELL, MAYBE I CAN HELP YOU

NEPHEW IS TRASHING THE PLACE. >> WELL, MAYBE I CAN HELP YOU RELAX.

( bicycle bell rings ) >> WATCH IT, WATCH IT, WATCH IT! ( women cheer )

>> WATCH IT, WATCH IT, WATCH IT! ( women cheer ) >> I'D BETTER GO CHECK ON

( women cheer ) >> I'D BETTER GO CHECK ON THINGS.

NO, NO WAY! SORRY, THIS ROOM'S OFF-LIMITS. EVERYBODY OUTSIDE!

SORRY, THIS ROOM'S OFF-LIMITS. EVERYBODY OUTSIDE! GO! GO!

EVERYBODY OUTSIDE! GO! GO! I MEAN IT!

GO! GO! I MEAN IT! LEAVE!

I MEAN IT! LEAVE! SHE'S ON THE LIST.

LEAVE! SHE'S ON THE LIST. DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT HER.

SHE'S ON THE LIST. DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT HER. BYE.

DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT HER. BYE. >> WOW.

BYE. >> WOW. THIS WHERE YOUR UNCLE KEEPS ALL

>> WOW. THIS WHERE YOUR UNCLE KEEPS ALL HIS FANCY STUFF?

THIS WHERE YOUR UNCLE KEEPS ALL HIS FANCY STUFF? >> YEAH, I GUESS.

HIS FANCY STUFF? >> YEAH, I GUESS. I'M ONLY SUPPOSED TO COME IN

>> YEAH, I GUESS. I'M ONLY SUPPOSED TO COME IN HERE TO DUST.

I'M ONLY SUPPOSED TO COME IN HERE TO DUST. >> THAT'S TOO BAD.

HERE TO DUST. >> THAT'S TOO BAD. WE COULD DO A LOT MORE IN HERE

>> THAT'S TOO BAD. WE COULD DO A LOT MORE IN HERE THAN...

WE COULD DO A LOT MORE IN HERE THAN... DUST.

>> LIKE WHAT? OH! OKAY.

OH! OKAY. ( exhales sharply )

OKAY. ( exhales sharply ) THAT WAS CLOSE.

OH, NO! OH, GOD! >> OH, MY GOD.

OH, GOD! >> OH, MY GOD. >> NOT THE VASES!

>> OH, MY GOD. >> NOT THE VASES! >> I GOT IT.

>> NOT THE VASES! >> I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

>> I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

>> GOOD MORNING. >> GOOD MORNING.

WAIT. DID WE... >> NO.

DID WE... >> NO. CLOSE, THOUGH.

>> NO. CLOSE, THOUGH. >> TOO BAD.

>> JESUS. >> WE SURE DID A NUMBER ON THIS JOINT.

>> WE SURE DID A NUMBER ON THIS JOINT. >> NO SHIT.

JOINT. >> NO SHIT. ANYONE SEEN PEE WEE?

>> OH, BOY. >> HOLY SHIT. WHAT AN ARMPIT.

>> HOLY SHIT. WHAT AN ARMPIT. >> WHOA.

WHAT AN ARMPIT. >> WHOA. >> ( snoring )

>> WHOA. >> ( snoring ) >> WAKE UP, PEE WEE.

>> ( snoring ) >> WAKE UP, PEE WEE. >> SHUT UP, MOM.

>> WAKE UP, PEE WEE. >> SHUT UP, MOM. >> COME ON, PAL, WE SHOULD TALK.

>> SHUT UP, MOM. >> COME ON, PAL, WE SHOULD TALK. >> ( snoring )

>> COME ON, PAL, WE SHOULD TALK. >> ( snoring ) >> BLACK CHICK NIPPLES.

>> OH, NO. OH, NO, NO, NO!

>> OH, BUMMER ABOUT THAT, PEE WEE. >> OH, FUCK.

WEE. >> OH, FUCK. >> AND I HATE TO RAIN ON YOUR

>> OH, FUCK. >> AND I HATE TO RAIN ON YOUR PARADE, BUT WE'RE OUT OF BEER,

>> AND I HATE TO RAIN ON YOUR PARADE, BUT WE'RE OUT OF BEER, TOO.

PARADE, BUT WE'RE OUT OF BEER, TOO. >> ( wails )

TOO. >> ( wails ) >> HEY, I KNOW, MAN, I KNOW, IT

>> ( wails ) >> HEY, I KNOW, MAN, I KNOW, IT SUCKS.

>> HEY, I KNOW, MAN, I KNOW, IT SUCKS. LOOK, BUT WE COULD GO TO THE

SUCKS. LOOK, BUT WE COULD GO TO THE LIQUOR STORE AND PICK UP AN

LOOK, BUT WE COULD GO TO THE LIQUOR STORE AND PICK UP AN 18-PACK.

LIQUOR STORE AND PICK UP AN 18-PACK. >> OH, PEE WEE.

>> ( crying ) >> IT'S REALLY NOT THAT BAD. >> SO WHAT'S THE DAMAGE?

>> IT'S REALLY NOT THAT BAD. >> SO WHAT'S THE DAMAGE? >> WELL, BETWEEN ALL THE

>> SO WHAT'S THE DAMAGE? >> WELL, BETWEEN ALL THE ANTIQUES, GOTTA BE CLOSE TO 20,

>> WELL, BETWEEN ALL THE ANTIQUES, GOTTA BE CLOSE TO 20, 25 Gs.

ANTIQUES, GOTTA BE CLOSE TO 20, 25 Gs. >> HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED

25 Gs. >> HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF

>> HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF BREAD?

TO COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF BREAD? MAYBE WE COULD FIX THEM.

BREAD? MAYBE WE COULD FIX THEM. >> REALLY?

MAYBE WE COULD FIX THEM. >> REALLY? >> WHAT?

>> REALLY? >> WHAT? JUST TRYING TO HELP.

>> WHAT? JUST TRYING TO HELP. >> NO, BUT WE CAN REPLACE THEM.

JUST TRYING TO HELP. >> NO, BUT WE CAN REPLACE THEM. >> HOW?

>> NO, BUT WE CAN REPLACE THEM. >> HOW? >> HOW ARE WE GOING TO PAY FOR

>> HOW? >> HOW ARE WE GOING TO PAY FOR ALL THIS STUFF BEFORE MY UNCLE

>> HOW ARE WE GOING TO PAY FOR ALL THIS STUFF BEFORE MY UNCLE HOWARD GETS BACK?

ALL THIS STUFF BEFORE MY UNCLE HOWARD GETS BACK? >> CHEER UP, BUDDY.

HOWARD GETS BACK? >> CHEER UP, BUDDY. HEY, LOOK WHAT I FOUND.

>> CHEER UP, BUDDY. HEY, LOOK WHAT I FOUND. IT'S A QUARTER FULL.

HEY, LOOK WHAT I FOUND. IT'S A QUARTER FULL. >> YEAH.

IT'S A QUARTER FULL. >> YEAH. >> ( sobs )

>> GREAT, YOU THINK 25 GRAND OUGHT TO COVER ALL THAT CRAP? >> WELL, I'M NO ANTIQUE DEALER,

OUGHT TO COVER ALL THAT CRAP? >> WELL, I'M NO ANTIQUE DEALER, BUT IT SHOULD.

>> WELL, I'M NO ANTIQUE DEALER, BUT IT SHOULD. >> AND HOW LONG UNTIL PEE WEE'S

BUT IT SHOULD. >> AND HOW LONG UNTIL PEE WEE'S UNCLE GETS BACK?

>> AND HOW LONG UNTIL PEE WEE'S UNCLE GETS BACK? >> THREE WEEKS OR SO.

UNCLE GETS BACK? >> THREE WEEKS OR SO. >> WHAT IF I SAID I KNOW HOW YOU

>> THREE WEEKS OR SO. >> WHAT IF I SAID I KNOW HOW YOU COULD GET THAT KIND OF MONEY IN

>> WHAT IF I SAID I KNOW HOW YOU COULD GET THAT KIND OF MONEY IN TIME?

COULD GET THAT KIND OF MONEY IN TIME? >> HOW?

TIME? >> HOW? >> YOU'LL LOVE THIS.

>> HEY, HONEY.

>> HEY, LLOYD. GOTTEN PAID YET? >> WELL, WELL, NOW WHERE THE

GOTTEN PAID YET? >> WELL, WELL, NOW WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?

>> WELL, WELL, NOW WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN? >> I NEEDED THE DAY OFF.

FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN? >> I NEEDED THE DAY OFF. I GOT IT COVERED.

>> I NEEDED THE DAY OFF. I GOT IT COVERED. >> YEAH, WELL, THAT AIN'T GOOD

I GOT IT COVERED. >> YEAH, WELL, THAT AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

>> YEAH, WELL, THAT AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH. YOU CAN'T JUST COME AND GO AS

ENOUGH. YOU CAN'T JUST COME AND GO AS YOU WANT.

YOU CAN'T JUST COME AND GO AS YOU WANT. I'M TRYING TO RUN A BUSINESS

YOU WANT. I'M TRYING TO RUN A BUSINESS HERE.

I'M TRYING TO RUN A BUSINESS HERE. >> OH, NO SHIT.

HERE. >> OH, NO SHIT. AND YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT I'M

>> OH, NO SHIT. AND YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT I'M THE ONE WHO'S BRINGING IN ALL

AND YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT I'M THE ONE WHO'S BRINGING IN ALL THAT BUSINESS.

THE ONE WHO'S BRINGING IN ALL THAT BUSINESS. >> DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF.

THAT BUSINESS. >> DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF. NOW GET READY.

>> DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF. NOW GET READY. WE GOT 16 RESERVATIONS TONIGHT.

NOW GET READY. WE GOT 16 RESERVATIONS TONIGHT. >> PORKY, YOU KNOW I LIKE TO

WE GOT 16 RESERVATIONS TONIGHT. >> PORKY, YOU KNOW I LIKE TO TAKE MY TIME WITH MY CLIENTS.

>> PORKY, YOU KNOW I LIKE TO TAKE MY TIME WITH MY CLIENTS. YOU ARE TAKING ALL THE FUN OUT

TAKE MY TIME WITH MY CLIENTS. YOU ARE TAKING ALL THE FUN OUT OF THE SEX.

YOU ARE TAKING ALL THE FUN OUT OF THE SEX. >> ( laughs )

OF THE SEX. >> ( laughs ) WHO THE FUCK SAID THIS WAS

>> ( laughs ) WHO THE FUCK SAID THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN?

WHO THE FUCK SAID THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN? THIS IS A BUSINESS!

SUPPOSED TO BE FUN? THIS IS A BUSINESS! >> A BUSINESS.

THIS IS A BUSINESS! >> A BUSINESS. I KNOW.

>> A BUSINESS. I KNOW. LOOK, I GET IT.

>> PEE WEE? WE FIGURED OUT A WAY TO MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO REPLACE THE

WE FIGURED OUT A WAY TO MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO REPLACE THE ANTIQUES AND THE VASES BEFORE

ENOUGH MONEY TO REPLACE THE ANTIQUES AND THE VASES BEFORE YOUR UNCLE GETS BACK.

ANTIQUES AND THE VASES BEFORE YOUR UNCLE GETS BACK. >> NOW IT MIGHT SOUND LIKE A

YOUR UNCLE GETS BACK. >> NOW IT MIGHT SOUND LIKE A CRAZY IDEA WHEN YOU FIRST HEAR

>> NOW IT MIGHT SOUND LIKE A CRAZY IDEA WHEN YOU FIRST HEAR IT.

CRAZY IDEA WHEN YOU FIRST HEAR IT. TOMMY JUST ABOUT SHIT HIMSELF,

IT. TOMMY JUST ABOUT SHIT HIMSELF, FOR INSTANCE.

TOMMY JUST ABOUT SHIT HIMSELF, FOR INSTANCE. >> I DID.

FOR INSTANCE. >> I DID. >> BUT I KNOW A LITTLE SOMETHING

>> I DID. >> BUT I KNOW A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT BUSINESS MANAGEMENT, AND

>> BUT I KNOW A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT BUSINESS MANAGEMENT, AND VANESSA IS A MARKETING MAJOR,

ABOUT BUSINESS MANAGEMENT, AND VANESSA IS A MARKETING MAJOR, AND WITH TOMMY'S MAJOR IN HOTEL

VANESSA IS A MARKETING MAJOR, AND WITH TOMMY'S MAJOR IN HOTEL MANAGEMENT, I'M TELLING YOU, WE

AND WITH TOMMY'S MAJOR IN HOTEL MANAGEMENT, I'M TELLING YOU, WE CAN PULL THIS OFF.

MANAGEMENT, I'M TELLING YOU, WE CAN PULL THIS OFF. >> WE COULD REPLACE ALL THIS

CAN PULL THIS OFF. >> WE COULD REPLACE ALL THIS STUFF AND MAYBE EVEN MAKE SOME

>> WE COULD REPLACE ALL THIS STUFF AND MAYBE EVEN MAKE SOME EXTRA FOR OURSELVES.

STUFF AND MAYBE EVEN MAKE SOME EXTRA FOR OURSELVES. >> UH, PULL WHAT OFF?

EXTRA FOR OURSELVES. >> UH, PULL WHAT OFF? >> THE PARTY LAST NIGHT GAVE ME

>> UH, PULL WHAT OFF? >> THE PARTY LAST NIGHT GAVE ME AN IDEA.

>> THE PARTY LAST NIGHT GAVE ME AN IDEA. GUYS WOULD PAY TO PARTY HERE.

AN IDEA. GUYS WOULD PAY TO PARTY HERE. GUYS WOULD PAY A LOT TO PARTY

GUYS WOULD PAY TO PARTY HERE. GUYS WOULD PAY A LOT TO PARTY HERE WITH GIRLS.

GUYS WOULD PAY A LOT TO PARTY HERE WITH GIRLS. >> PEOPLE WOULD PAY US SO THEY

HERE WITH GIRLS. >> PEOPLE WOULD PAY US SO THEY COULD PARTY WITH GIRLS.

>> PEOPLE WOULD PAY US SO THEY COULD PARTY WITH GIRLS. >> HEY, WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO

COULD PARTY WITH GIRLS. >> HEY, WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO DRESS UP LIKE GIRLS, THOUGH,

>> HEY, WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO DRESS UP LIKE GIRLS, THOUGH, WOULD WE?

DRESS UP LIKE GIRLS, THOUGH, WOULD WE? >> MY GOD.

WOULD WE? >> MY GOD. >> I'LL SUPPLY THE GIRLS.

>> MY GOD. >> I'LL SUPPLY THE GIRLS. YOU SUPPLY THE HOUSE.

>> I'LL SUPPLY THE GIRLS. YOU SUPPLY THE HOUSE. THEY BRING US THE MONEY.

YOU SUPPLY THE HOUSE. THEY BRING US THE MONEY. >> ( laughs )

THEY BRING US THE MONEY. >> ( laughs ) SEE, IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY

>> ( laughs ) SEE, IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER, I'D THINK THAT YOU WERE

SEE, IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER, I'D THINK THAT YOU WERE SUGGESTING WE OPEN UP A

BETTER, I'D THINK THAT YOU WERE SUGGESTING WE OPEN UP A WHOREHOUSE.

SUGGESTING WE OPEN UP A WHOREHOUSE. >> WE ARE.

WHOREHOUSE. >> WE ARE. >> OH, I SEE.

>> WE ARE. >> OH, I SEE. ARE YOU CRAZY?!

>> OH, I SEE. ARE YOU CRAZY?! WE JUST GOT OUR ASSES KICKED,

ARE YOU CRAZY?! WE JUST GOT OUR ASSES KICKED, AND WHAT DO YOU THINK PORKY'S

WE JUST GOT OUR ASSES KICKED, AND WHAT DO YOU THINK PORKY'S GONNA DO WHEN HE HEARS THAT

AND WHAT DO YOU THINK PORKY'S GONNA DO WHEN HE HEARS THAT WE'RE STEALING HIS BUSINESS,

GONNA DO WHEN HE HEARS THAT WE'RE STEALING HIS BUSINESS, TOO?

WE'RE STEALING HIS BUSINESS, TOO? >> LET'S DEAL WITH THAT

TOO? >> LET'S DEAL WITH THAT IF IT COMES UP.

>> LET'S DEAL WITH THAT IF IT COMES UP. >> IF?!

IF IT COMES UP. >> IF?! REALLY WITH THE IF?!

>> IF?! REALLY WITH THE IF?! >> COME ON, PEE WEE.

REALLY WITH THE IF?! >> COME ON, PEE WEE. HEY, DO YOU WANT TO SPEND THE

>> COME ON, PEE WEE. HEY, DO YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF THE SUMMER SWIMMING IN A

HEY, DO YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF THE SUMMER SWIMMING IN A POOL OF YOUR OWN SEMEN JUST

REST OF THE SUMMER SWIMMING IN A POOL OF YOUR OWN SEMEN JUST WAITING TO LET DOWN YOUR POOR

POOL OF YOUR OWN SEMEN JUST WAITING TO LET DOWN YOUR POOR UNCLE HOWARD?

WAITING TO LET DOWN YOUR POOR UNCLE HOWARD? OR DO YOU WANT TO BE A PIMP, GET

UNCLE HOWARD? OR DO YOU WANT TO BE A PIMP, GET THIS SHIT FIXED, MAKE A FEW

OR DO YOU WANT TO BE A PIMP, GET THIS SHIT FIXED, MAKE A FEW EXTRA BUCKS, AND BE THE HERO,

THIS SHIT FIXED, MAKE A FEW EXTRA BUCKS, AND BE THE HERO, HUH?

EXTRA BUCKS, AND BE THE HERO, HUH? >> YEAH.

HUH? >> YEAH. >> HEY, HAVE I EVER STEERED YOU

>> YEAH. >> HEY, HAVE I EVER STEERED YOU WRONG?

>> HEY, HAVE I EVER STEERED YOU WRONG? >> EVERY DAY SINCE THE FIRST

WRONG? >> EVERY DAY SINCE THE FIRST GRADE.

>> EVERY DAY SINCE THE FIRST GRADE. >> SO WHY STOP NOW?

GRADE. >> SO WHY STOP NOW? GIVE ME A LOVE TAP.

>> SO WHY STOP NOW? GIVE ME A LOVE TAP. COME ON, GIVE ME SOME.

GIVE ME A LOVE TAP. COME ON, GIVE ME SOME. >> OKAY.

COME ON, GIVE ME SOME. >> OKAY. >> STAY AMAZING.

>> OKAY. >> STAY AMAZING. STAY AMAZING.

>> STAY AMAZING. STAY AMAZING. ( laughs ) HE'S GOOD.

STAY AMAZING. ( laughs ) HE'S GOOD. >> I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SAID

( laughs ) HE'S GOOD. >> I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SAID OKAY.

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SAID OKAY. >> ALL RIGHT, FIFTH GRADERS, ARE

OKAY. >> ALL RIGHT, FIFTH GRADERS, ARE YOU READY FOR OUR LITTLE

>> ALL RIGHT, FIFTH GRADERS, ARE YOU READY FOR OUR LITTLE PRESENTATION?

YOU READY FOR OUR LITTLE PRESENTATION? >> YEAH.

PRESENTATION? >> YEAH. >> OKAY, THE KEY TO THE SUCCESS

>> YEAH. >> OKAY, THE KEY TO THE SUCCESS OF ANY NEW BUSINESS IS

>> OKAY, THE KEY TO THE SUCCESS OF ANY NEW BUSINESS IS WORD OF MOUTH.

OF ANY NEW BUSINESS IS WORD OF MOUTH. AND THE BEST WAY TO BUILD

WORD OF MOUTH. AND THE BEST WAY TO BUILD WORD OF MOUTH IS BY PROVIDING

AND THE BEST WAY TO BUILD WORD OF MOUTH IS BY PROVIDING SOMETHING SPECIAL TO THE

WORD OF MOUTH IS BY PROVIDING SOMETHING SPECIAL TO THE CUSTOMER.

SOMETHING SPECIAL TO THE CUSTOMER. WE NEED TO LOOK AT THE

CUSTOMER. WE NEED TO LOOK AT THE COMPETITION.

WE NEED TO LOOK AT THE COMPETITION. WHO IS IT?

COMPETITION. WHO IS IT? >> All: PORKY'S.

WHO IS IT? >> All: PORKY'S. >> RIGHT.

>> All: PORKY'S. >> RIGHT. AND WHAT IS SO SPECIAL ABOUT

>> RIGHT. AND WHAT IS SO SPECIAL ABOUT PORKY'S?

AND WHAT IS SO SPECIAL ABOUT PORKY'S? >> THEY GOT HOT CHICKS.

PORKY'S? >> THEY GOT HOT CHICKS. >> YES, BUT WHAT KIND?

>> THEY GOT HOT CHICKS. >> YES, BUT WHAT KIND? >> BARFY.

>> YES, BUT WHAT KIND? >> BARFY. >> SELFISH.

>> BARFY. >> SELFISH. >> OKAY, BUT WHAT ELSE?

>> SELFISH. >> OKAY, BUT WHAT ELSE? WHAT IS PORKY'S BIGGEST DRAW?

>> OKAY, BUT WHAT ELSE? WHAT IS PORKY'S BIGGEST DRAW? >> UH, PORN STARS?

WHAT IS PORKY'S BIGGEST DRAW? >> UH, PORN STARS? >> VERY GOOD, PEE WEE!

>> UH, PORN STARS? >> VERY GOOD, PEE WEE! >> ( laughs )

>> VERY GOOD, PEE WEE! >> ( laughs ) GOTCHA!

>> ( laughs ) GOTCHA! >> PORN STARS.

GOTCHA! >> PORN STARS. GUYS WOULD LINE UP AROUND THE

>> PORN STARS. GUYS WOULD LINE UP AROUND THE BLOCK FOR A HALF HOUR WITH A HOT

GUYS WOULD LINE UP AROUND THE BLOCK FOR A HALF HOUR WITH A HOT PORN STAR.

BLOCK FOR A HALF HOUR WITH A HOT PORN STAR. >> SO THAT'S WHAT WE NEED.

PORN STAR. >> SO THAT'S WHAT WE NEED. WE NEED A NAME TO PULL IN THE

>> SO THAT'S WHAT WE NEED. WE NEED A NAME TO PULL IN THE CUSTOMERS, AND WE SHOULD HAVE

WE NEED A NAME TO PULL IN THE CUSTOMERS, AND WE SHOULD HAVE SOME NICE SCRATCH IN NO TIME.

CUSTOMERS, AND WE SHOULD HAVE SOME NICE SCRATCH IN NO TIME. >> YEAH, BUT WHERE THE HELL ARE

SOME NICE SCRATCH IN NO TIME. >> YEAH, BUT WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO GET A PORN STAR?

>> YEAH, BUT WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO GET A PORN STAR? >> I KNOW ONE.

WE GOING TO GET A PORN STAR? >> I KNOW ONE. >> WE'LL RUN ADS IN ANGEL BEACH

>> I KNOW ONE. >> WE'LL RUN ADS IN ANGEL BEACH SINGLES WEEKLY, AND I'M ALREADY

>> WE'LL RUN ADS IN ANGEL BEACH SINGLES WEEKLY, AND I'M ALREADY CREATING THE WEBSITE.

SINGLES WEEKLY, AND I'M ALREADY CREATING THE WEBSITE. >> ISN'T THAT TERRIBLY ILLEGAL?

CREATING THE WEBSITE. >> ISN'T THAT TERRIBLY ILLEGAL? >> SURE, IT IS.

>> ISN'T THAT TERRIBLY ILLEGAL? >> SURE, IT IS. >> THEN WE SHOULDN'T DO IT.

>> SURE, IT IS. >> THEN WE SHOULDN'T DO IT. >> BUT WE'LL PUT WEBCAMS IN ALL

>> THEN WE SHOULDN'T DO IT. >> BUT WE'LL PUT WEBCAMS IN ALL THE ROOMS SO WE CAN SAY WE'RE

>> BUT WE'LL PUT WEBCAMS IN ALL THE ROOMS SO WE CAN SAY WE'RE JUST MAKING SOME NICE HOMEGROWN

THE ROOMS SO WE CAN SAY WE'RE JUST MAKING SOME NICE HOMEGROWN PORNOGRAPHY HERE.

JUST MAKING SOME NICE HOMEGROWN PORNOGRAPHY HERE. >> NOTHING ILLEGAL ABOUT MAKING

PORNOGRAPHY HERE. >> NOTHING ILLEGAL ABOUT MAKING A PORN VIDEO.

>> NOTHING ILLEGAL ABOUT MAKING A PORN VIDEO. NO HARM, NO FOUL.

A PORN VIDEO. NO HARM, NO FOUL. >> OKAY, JOB ASSIGNMENTS.

NO HARM, NO FOUL. >> OKAY, JOB ASSIGNMENTS. MEAT.

>> OKAY, JOB ASSIGNMENTS. MEAT. >> HERE.

MEAT. >> HERE. >> MEAT, YOU GOT SECURITY DETAIL

>> HERE. >> MEAT, YOU GOT SECURITY DETAIL AND THE BAR.

>> MEAT, YOU GOT SECURITY DETAIL AND THE BAR. >> NICE.

AND THE BAR. >> NICE. GONNA KICK SOME ASS AND GOUGE

>> NICE. GONNA KICK SOME ASS AND GOUGE THEM.

GONNA KICK SOME ASS AND GOUGE THEM. >> NO, MEAT, MONITOR AND EXPEL.

THEM. >> NO, MEAT, MONITOR AND EXPEL. WE CAN'T CAUSE ANY MORE DAMAGE

>> NO, MEAT, MONITOR AND EXPEL. WE CAN'T CAUSE ANY MORE DAMAGE TO THIS PLACE, AND WE DON'T HAVE

WE CAN'T CAUSE ANY MORE DAMAGE TO THIS PLACE, AND WE DON'T HAVE A LIQUOR LICENSE, SO WE CAN'T

TO THIS PLACE, AND WE DON'T HAVE A LIQUOR LICENSE, SO WE CAN'T SELL A DROP OF BOOZE.

A LIQUOR LICENSE, SO WE CAN'T SELL A DROP OF BOOZE. COMPLIMENTARY DRINKS ONLY.

SELL A DROP OF BOOZE. COMPLIMENTARY DRINKS ONLY. >> COPY THAT.

COMPLIMENTARY DRINKS ONLY. >> COPY THAT. >> SHELLY AND I WILL HANDLE THE

>> COPY THAT. >> SHELLY AND I WILL HANDLE THE MONEY AND THE SCHEDULING.

>> SHELLY AND I WILL HANDLE THE MONEY AND THE SCHEDULING. WE'LL ALSO BE HANDLING THE

MONEY AND THE SCHEDULING. WE'LL ALSO BE HANDLING THE RECRUITMENT.

WE'LL ALSO BE HANDLING THE RECRUITMENT. PEE?

RECRUITMENT. PEE? >> WHAT ABOUT ME?

PEE? >> WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT DO I DO?

>> WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT DO I DO? >> YOU'LL BE THE HOST.

WHAT DO I DO? >> YOU'LL BE THE HOST. >> LET'S GO, FOLKS.

>> YOU'LL BE THE HOST. >> LET'S GO, FOLKS. PEE WEE'S PORN HOUSE OPENS

>> LET'S GO, FOLKS. PEE WEE'S PORN HOUSE OPENS FRIDAY.

PEE WEE'S PORN HOUSE OPENS FRIDAY. ( rock music playing )

>> OH, YEAH.

>> OW. >> YOU LIKE THAT, DON'T YOU?

>> I PROMISE YOU WILL MAKE SO MUCH MORE MONEY. >> YEAH! ( laughs )

>> OKAY, JUST HUMOR ME FOR A SECOND. WHY A CATHOUSE?

SECOND. WHY A CATHOUSE? >> I DON'T KNOW.

WHY A CATHOUSE? >> I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE I'M JUST PISSED AT MY DAD.

>> I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE I'M JUST PISSED AT MY DAD. HE THINKS I'M JUST A GIRL,

MAYBE I'M JUST PISSED AT MY DAD. HE THINKS I'M JUST A GIRL, SO IHAVE NO IDEA HOW TO RUN

HE THINKS I'M JUST A GIRL, SO IHAVE NO IDEA HOW TO RUN A BUSINESS, AND YET HE'S

SO IHAVE NO IDEA HOW TO RUN A BUSINESS, AND YET HE'S PRACTICALLY RUNNING PORKY'S INTO

A BUSINESS, AND YET HE'S PRACTICALLY RUNNING PORKY'S INTO THE GROUND.

PRACTICALLY RUNNING PORKY'S INTO THE GROUND. MAYBE I JUST WANT TO PROVE HIM

THE GROUND. MAYBE I JUST WANT TO PROVE HIM WRONG.

MAYBE I JUST WANT TO PROVE HIM WRONG. BESIDES, IT MIGHT BE FUN, AND

WRONG. BESIDES, IT MIGHT BE FUN, AND YOU KNOW WE CAN DO IT.

BESIDES, IT MIGHT BE FUN, AND YOU KNOW WE CAN DO IT. >> HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE?

YOU KNOW WE CAN DO IT. >> HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE? >> WELL, I HAD A PRETTY GOOD

>> HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE? >> WELL, I HAD A PRETTY GOOD TEACHER, YOU KNOW?

>> WELL, I HAD A PRETTY GOOD TEACHER, YOU KNOW? SO, WHAT ABOUT YOU AND PEE WEE?

>> HE'S A CUTIE IN A SEX-STARVED, VIRGINAL SORT OF WAY.

SEX-STARVED, VIRGINAL SORT OF WAY. ( laughs )

( footsteps approaching )

>> WE DO GOLDEN SHOWERS, ROMAN SHOWERS, BROWN SHOWERS, AND C.B.T.

SHOWERS, BROWN SHOWERS, AND C.B.T. >> WHAT'S C.B.T.?

C.B.T. >> WHAT'S C.B.T.? >> COCK AND BALL TORTURE.

>> WHAT'S C.B.T.? >> COCK AND BALL TORTURE. YOU WANT SOME?

>> COCK AND BALL TORTURE. YOU WANT SOME? >> WE'RE GONNA NEED YOUR NAME,

YOU WANT SOME? >> WE'RE GONNA NEED YOUR NAME, SIR.

>> WE'RE GONNA NEED YOUR NAME, SIR. >> ( grunts )

SIR. >> ( grunts ) >> SO I'M JUST A NAUGHTY

>> ( grunts ) >> SO I'M JUST A NAUGHTY SCHOOLGIRL THAT LIKES TO BE

>> SO I'M JUST A NAUGHTY SCHOOLGIRL THAT LIKES TO BE SPANKED.

SCHOOLGIRL THAT LIKES TO BE SPANKED. >> OUTSTANDING.

SPANKED. >> OUTSTANDING. >> WHEN CAN YOU START?

>> OUTSTANDING. >> WHEN CAN YOU START? >> IN MY EXPERIENCE, I'VE FOUND

>> WHEN CAN YOU START? >> IN MY EXPERIENCE, I'VE FOUND THAT MEN PREFER TO BUY BY THE

>> IN MY EXPERIENCE, I'VE FOUND THAT MEN PREFER TO BUY BY THE POUND.

THAT MEN PREFER TO BUY BY THE POUND. >> HEY, THOSE ARE MINE.

POUND. >> HEY, THOSE ARE MINE. >> AM I HIRED?

>> HEY, THOSE ARE MINE. >> AM I HIRED? >> YEP.

>> AM I HIRED? >> YEP. >> YAY!

>> YEP. >> YAY! >> WOW.

>> YAY! >> WOW. SO WHEN CAN YOU, YOU KNOW--

>> WOW. SO WHEN CAN YOU, YOU KNOW-- >> I GOT THIS ONE.

SO WHEN CAN YOU, YOU KNOW-- >> I GOT THIS ONE. YOU'RE HIRED.

>> I GOT THIS ONE. YOU'RE HIRED. ( both giggle )

>> NEXT! >> SO WHO NEEDS A LESSON? YOU.

>> SO WHO NEEDS A LESSON? YOU. >> DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL

YOU. >> DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?

>> DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? >> MM-HMM.

SKILLS? >> MM-HMM. ( grunting )

( laughs ) >> I THINK WE HAVE AN OPENING IN SECURITY.

>> I THINK WE HAVE AN OPENING IN SECURITY. ALL RIGHT, GUYS, WE OPEN

SECURITY. ALL RIGHT, GUYS, WE OPEN TONIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS, WE OPEN TONIGHT. WE GOOD TO GO?

TONIGHT. WE GOOD TO GO? >> WE'VE HIRED 11 GIRLS, AND

WE GOOD TO GO? >> WE'VE HIRED 11 GIRLS, AND THEY'LL BE HERE BY 5:00.

>> WE'VE HIRED 11 GIRLS, AND THEY'LL BE HERE BY 5:00. >> NICE.

THEY'LL BE HERE BY 5:00. >> NICE. HOW MANY RESERVATIONS WE GOT?

>> NICE. HOW MANY RESERVATIONS WE GOT? >> NINE SO FAR.

HOW MANY RESERVATIONS WE GOT? >> NINE SO FAR. >> MEAT, ARE THE WEBCAMS ALL

>> NINE SO FAR. >> MEAT, ARE THE WEBCAMS ALL INSTALLED AND THE BAR STOCKED?

>> MEAT, ARE THE WEBCAMS ALL INSTALLED AND THE BAR STOCKED? >> YEP.

INSTALLED AND THE BAR STOCKED? >> YEP. >> HOW ABOUT OUR PORN STAR?

>> YEP. >> HOW ABOUT OUR PORN STAR? >> IT'S TAKEN CARE OF.

>> HOW ABOUT OUR PORN STAR? >> IT'S TAKEN CARE OF. >> WHO IS IT, BY THE WAY?

>> IT'S TAKEN CARE OF. >> WHO IS IT, BY THE WAY? >> IT'S A SURPRISE.

>> WHO IS IT, BY THE WAY? >> IT'S A SURPRISE. ( pop music playing on radio )

( music stops )

>> JESUS. 22? WHAT DOES HE THINK I AM?

22? WHAT DOES HE THINK I AM? >> A WHORE.

WHAT DOES HE THINK I AM? >> A WHORE. NOW YOU GOT CUSTOMERS WAITING.

>> A WHORE. NOW YOU GOT CUSTOMERS WAITING. >> LOOK, I TOLD YOU, THE FEWER

NOW YOU GOT CUSTOMERS WAITING. >> LOOK, I TOLD YOU, THE FEWER THE GUYS, THE BETTER I CAN MAKE

>> LOOK, I TOLD YOU, THE FEWER THE GUYS, THE BETTER I CAN MAKE IT FOR THEM.

THE GUYS, THE BETTER I CAN MAKE IT FOR THEM. >> WELL, FEWER GUYS MEAN LESS

IT FOR THEM. >> WELL, FEWER GUYS MEAN LESS MONEY, MISS PhD, AND IT'S ALL

>> WELL, FEWER GUYS MEAN LESS MONEY, MISS PhD, AND IT'S ALL ABOUT MONEY, HONEY.

MONEY, MISS PhD, AND IT'S ALL ABOUT MONEY, HONEY. QUANTITY, PRINCESS, NOT QUALITY.

ABOUT MONEY, HONEY. QUANTITY, PRINCESS, NOT QUALITY. NOW I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT

QUANTITY, PRINCESS, NOT QUALITY. NOW I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO.

NOW I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO. YOU'RE GONNA MARCH YOUR ASS TO

YOU'RE GONNA DO. YOU'RE GONNA MARCH YOUR ASS TO YOUR ROOM AND LET EVERY GUY WITH

YOU'RE GONNA MARCH YOUR ASS TO YOUR ROOM AND LET EVERY GUY WITH 1,000 BUCKS COME IN THERE AND

YOUR ROOM AND LET EVERY GUY WITH 1,000 BUCKS COME IN THERE AND FUCK YOU ROTTEN.

1,000 BUCKS COME IN THERE AND FUCK YOU ROTTEN. YOU GOT IT?

FUCK YOU ROTTEN. YOU GOT IT? >> FUCK YOU.

YOU GOT IT? >> FUCK YOU. >> WHAT'D YOU JUST SAY?

>> FUCK YOU. >> WHAT'D YOU JUST SAY? >> I SAID FUCK YOU.

>> WHAT'D YOU JUST SAY? >> I SAID FUCK YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT?

>> I SAID FUCK YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT? I QUIT.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I QUIT. ( rock music playing )

I QUIT. ( rock music playing ) ( door slams )

( rock music playing ) ( door slams ) ( indistinct conversations )

( cell phone rings )

>> THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT! GET UP IN THERE, BITCH! >> YEAH!

GET UP IN THERE, BITCH! >> YEAH! >> GREAT, THANK YOU.

>> GREAT, THANK YOU. >> THANK YOU, LADIES. >> HI, HOW ARE YOU?

>> THANK YOU, LADIES. >> HI, HOW ARE YOU? >> THERE YOU GO.

>> HI, HOW ARE YOU? >> THERE YOU GO. >> GREAT.

>> THERE YOU GO. >> GREAT. HERE YOU GO.

>> GREAT. HERE YOU GO. ( hip-hop music playing )

>> WHAT CAN I GET YOU? WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE? A MARGARITA?

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE? A MARGARITA? YOU LOOK LIKE A CADILLAC MAN.

A MARGARITA? YOU LOOK LIKE A CADILLAC MAN. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT,

YOU LOOK LIKE A CADILLAC MAN. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, SON.

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, SON. HELL, YEAH.

SON. HELL, YEAH. GET MESSED UP.

HELL, YEAH. GET MESSED UP. GO GET SOME ASS.

>> ANY NEWS ON OUR PORN STAR? >> I DON'T KNOW. SHE SHOULD BE HERE BY NOW.

>> I DON'T KNOW. SHE SHOULD BE HERE BY NOW. ( hip-hop music continues )

( doorbell rings )

>> I KNOW YOU. >> YES, YOU DO. >> OH, MY GOD.

>> YES, YOU DO. >> OH, MY GOD. I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU.

>> OH, MY GOD. I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU. YOU'RE TINA TOPPERS.

I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU. YOU'RE TINA TOPPERS. DID WE?

YOU'RE TINA TOPPERS. DID WE? >> NO.

DID WE? >> NO. CLOSE, THOUGH.

>> THERE'S TINA, HEY. >> HEY. >> OH, MY GOD.

>> HEY. >> OH, MY GOD. >> THE TINA TOPPERS?

>> OH, MY GOD. >> THE TINA TOPPERS? IN MY HOUSE.

>> THE TINA TOPPERS? IN MY HOUSE. HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

IN MY HOUSE. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. >> All: HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

>> HOLY FUCKING SHIT. >> HEY, PORK. >> HEY.

>> HEY, PORK. >> HEY. >> KIND OF SLOW IN HERE TONIGHT,

>> HEY. >> KIND OF SLOW IN HERE TONIGHT, HUH?

>> KIND OF SLOW IN HERE TONIGHT, HUH? >> NO SHIT.

HUH? >> NO SHIT. THAT FUCKING WHORE.

>> NO SHIT. THAT FUCKING WHORE. ( rock music playing )

( pop music playing ) >> GREAT, THANKS. >> OKAY...

>> GREAT, THANKS. >> OKAY... >> HI.

>> OH.

( both moaning )

>> MOMMY'S LITTLE BABY! MOMMY'S LITTLE BOY! >> NICE WORK.

MOMMY'S LITTLE BOY! >> NICE WORK. >> LISTEN, MISTER, I'M NOT

>> NICE WORK. >> LISTEN, MISTER, I'M NOT SAYING YOU GOTTA TIP ME

>> LISTEN, MISTER, I'M NOT SAYING YOU GOTTA TIP ME OR NOTHING, BUT IT SURE WOULD

SAYING YOU GOTTA TIP ME OR NOTHING, BUT IT SURE WOULD MOTIVATE ME TO ACTUALLY POUR THE

OR NOTHING, BUT IT SURE WOULD MOTIVATE ME TO ACTUALLY POUR THE WHISKEY INTO THE GLASS.

>> HERE YOU GO. >> THANK YOU. >> YOU'RE WELCOME.

>> THANK YOU. >> YOU'RE WELCOME. >> SO WHY DO THEY CALL YOU PEE

>> YOU'RE WELCOME. >> SO WHY DO THEY CALL YOU PEE WEE?

>> SO WHY DO THEY CALL YOU PEE WEE? >> YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW?

WEE? >> YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW? >> IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE SHORT?

>> YEAH. YEAH, IT'S, UH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

YEAH, IT'S, UH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. >> DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE A

THAT. >> DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE A DENTIST?

>> DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE A DENTIST? >> YEAH.

DENTIST? >> YEAH. YEAH, SURE.

>> YEAH. YEAH, SURE. YOU KNOW, UH, SEEMS TO BE

YEAH, SURE. YOU KNOW, UH, SEEMS TO BE WORKING OUT WELL FOR MY UNCLE,

YOU KNOW, UH, SEEMS TO BE WORKING OUT WELL FOR MY UNCLE, SO WHY NOT, RIGHT?

WORKING OUT WELL FOR MY UNCLE, SO WHY NOT, RIGHT? PLUS I ALREADY GOT TWO YEARS

SO WHY NOT, RIGHT? PLUS I ALREADY GOT TWO YEARS INVESTED IN IT, AND I THINK MY

PLUS I ALREADY GOT TWO YEARS INVESTED IN IT, AND I THINK MY MOM WOULD KILL ME IF I CHANGE MY

INVESTED IN IT, AND I THINK MY MOM WOULD KILL ME IF I CHANGE MY MIND NOW, SO THERE YOU GO.

WHAT ABOUT YOU? IS MARKETING YOUR FUTURE? >> OH, YOU BETCHA.

IS MARKETING YOUR FUTURE? >> OH, YOU BETCHA. ( laughs )

>> CHEERS.

( slurps )

( rock music playing, crowd cheering )

>> SO, UH, WHAT TIME'S YOUR NEXT, YOU KNOW, APPOINTMENT? >> HE'S WAITING FOR ME NOW.

NEXT, YOU KNOW, APPOINTMENT? >> HE'S WAITING FOR ME NOW. >> DO YOU NEED TO GET GOING?

>> HE'S WAITING FOR ME NOW. >> DO YOU NEED TO GET GOING? >> NAH.

>> DO YOU NEED TO GET GOING? >> NAH. HE'S ONE OF MY REGULARS FROM

>> NAH. HE'S ONE OF MY REGULARS FROM PORKY'S.

HE'S ONE OF MY REGULARS FROM PORKY'S. HE USUALLY STARTS WITHOUT ME.

PORKY'S. HE USUALLY STARTS WITHOUT ME. SO ARE YOU REALLY LEAVING FOR

HE USUALLY STARTS WITHOUT ME. SO ARE YOU REALLY LEAVING FOR THE NAVY AT THE END OF THE

SO ARE YOU REALLY LEAVING FOR THE NAVY AT THE END OF THE SUMMER?

THE NAVY AT THE END OF THE SUMMER? WHAT'S YOUR HURRY?

SUMMER? WHAT'S YOUR HURRY? >> I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE, YOU

WHAT'S YOUR HURRY? >> I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE, YOU KNOW?

>> I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE, YOU KNOW? I MEAN, MY OLD MAN'S BUSINESS IS

KNOW? I MEAN, MY OLD MAN'S BUSINESS IS DRYING UP, AND WITH PEE WEE AND

I MEAN, MY OLD MAN'S BUSINESS IS DRYING UP, AND WITH PEE WEE AND TOMMY AWAY AT SCHOOL, I MEAN,

DRYING UP, AND WITH PEE WEE AND TOMMY AWAY AT SCHOOL, I MEAN, THERE'S NOT A LOT FOR ME TO

TOMMY AWAY AT SCHOOL, I MEAN, THERE'S NOT A LOT FOR ME TO STICK AROUND HERE FOR ANYMORE.

THERE'S NOT A LOT FOR ME TO STICK AROUND HERE FOR ANYMORE. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GONE.

>> I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND.

( typing )

>> ( laughs ) >> HEY, CHECK THIS OUT. LOOK AT THIS.

>> HEY, CHECK THIS OUT. LOOK AT THIS. >> ( slurps )

LOOK AT THIS. >> ( slurps ) >> WHOA.

>> ( slurps ) >> WHOA. HOLY SHIT BALLS.

>> WHOA. HOLY SHIT BALLS. I'M GOING IN, TOMMY.

HOLY SHIT BALLS. I'M GOING IN, TOMMY. I'M GOING IN.

I'M GOING IN, TOMMY. I'M GOING IN. >> ATTABOY.

( laughter ) >> ALL RIGHT, LADIES, WHO'S READY TO DO THE BALONEY PONY?

>> ALL RIGHT, LADIES, WHO'S READY TO DO THE BALONEY PONY? ( gasping and screaming )

>> OH, NO. >> MMM! >> GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

>> TOUGH BREAK, KID. >> IT'S A CURSE. >> WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME SOME,

>> IT'S A CURSE. >> WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME SOME, THEN, HUH?

>> WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME SOME, THEN, HUH? >> THAT SOUNDED AWFUL QUEER, PEE

THEN, HUH? >> THAT SOUNDED AWFUL QUEER, PEE WEE.

>> THAT SOUNDED AWFUL QUEER, PEE WEE. >> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, TOMMY,

WEE. >> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, TOMMY, OKAY?

>> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, TOMMY, OKAY? >> HEY, MEAT.

OKAY? >> HEY, MEAT. >> I'VE GOT A SMALL DICK.

>> HEY, MEAT. >> I'VE GOT A SMALL DICK. I GOT A DOORBELL, AN INNIE, NOT

>> I'VE GOT A SMALL DICK. I GOT A DOORBELL, AN INNIE, NOT AN OUTIE, A MIDGET PURPLE-HEADED

I GOT A DOORBELL, AN INNIE, NOT AN OUTIE, A MIDGET PURPLE-HEADED YOGURT SLINGER, A BABY CARROT--

AN OUTIE, A MIDGET PURPLE-HEADED YOGURT SLINGER, A BABY CARROT-- >> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WE KNOW

YOGURT SLINGER, A BABY CARROT-- >> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WE KNOW YOU'RE HUNG LIKE A LIGHT SWITCH.

>> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WE KNOW YOU'RE HUNG LIKE A LIGHT SWITCH. DON'T ADVERTISE IT.

YOU'RE HUNG LIKE A LIGHT SWITCH. DON'T ADVERTISE IT. YOU WANT PEOPLE TO HEAR?

DON'T ADVERTISE IT. YOU WANT PEOPLE TO HEAR? >> MY NAME'S PEE WEE, MAN.

YOU WANT PEOPLE TO HEAR? >> MY NAME'S PEE WEE, MAN. OKAY?

>> MY NAME'S PEE WEE, MAN. OKAY? YOU DON'T THINK THAT GIVES

OKAY? YOU DON'T THINK THAT GIVES PEOPLE JUST A LITTLE BIT OF AN

YOU DON'T THINK THAT GIVES PEOPLE JUST A LITTLE BIT OF AN IDEA, JUST A GUESS, JUST A

PEOPLE JUST A LITTLE BIT OF AN IDEA, JUST A GUESS, JUST A SMIDGEN?

IDEA, JUST A GUESS, JUST A SMIDGEN? >> WELL, YOU ARE SHORT.

SMIDGEN? >> WELL, YOU ARE SHORT. COME ON, MAN, WHAT'S UP WITH THE

>> WELL, YOU ARE SHORT. COME ON, MAN, WHAT'S UP WITH THE DOWNER ATTITUDE?

COME ON, MAN, WHAT'S UP WITH THE DOWNER ATTITUDE? YOU ON THE RAG RIGHT NOW?

DOWNER ATTITUDE? YOU ON THE RAG RIGHT NOW? IT'S ALL GOOD.

YOU ON THE RAG RIGHT NOW? IT'S ALL GOOD. WE ALMOST GOT ENOUGH BREAD TO

IT'S ALL GOOD. WE ALMOST GOT ENOUGH BREAD TO PAY FOR ALL THE ANTIQUES, AND

WE ALMOST GOT ENOUGH BREAD TO PAY FOR ALL THE ANTIQUES, AND VANESSA TOTALLY WANTS YOU TO

PAY FOR ALL THE ANTIQUES, AND VANESSA TOTALLY WANTS YOU TO FART ON HER BELLY BUTTON.

VANESSA TOTALLY WANTS YOU TO FART ON HER BELLY BUTTON. >> HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE EVEN

FART ON HER BELLY BUTTON. >> HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE EVEN LIKES ME, HUH?

>> HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE EVEN LIKES ME, HUH? HMM?

LIKES ME, HUH? HMM? JESUS.

HMM? JESUS. SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND SMART,

JESUS. SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND SMART, AND SHE'S--

SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND SMART, AND SHE'S-- >> YOU TWO ARE THE SAME PERSON.

>> REALLY? >> YEAH. >> YOU THINK I'M BEAUTIFUL AND

>> YEAH. >> YOU THINK I'M BEAUTIFUL AND SMART, TOO?

>> SURE. >> YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND. >> HEY, IT'S A NEW SHIRT, BABE,

>> YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND. >> HEY, IT'S A NEW SHIRT, BABE, COME ON.

>> HEY, IT'S A NEW SHIRT, BABE, COME ON. >> YOU'RE A GOOD GUY.

COME ON. >> YOU'RE A GOOD GUY. >> RELEASE.

>> YOU'RE A GOOD GUY. >> RELEASE. >> YOU'RE REALLY GOOD.

>> RELEASE. >> YOU'RE REALLY GOOD. >> HEY.

>> YOU'RE REALLY GOOD. >> HEY. >> FIRST GRADE, MAN.

( slurps ) >> HEY, LITTLE GUY. PICK A STATION YOU LIKE.

>> HEY, LITTLE GUY. PICK A STATION YOU LIKE. >> YEAH.

PICK A STATION YOU LIKE. >> YEAH. >> COME ON.

>> YEAH. >> COME ON. >> COME ON, PEE.

>> COME ON. >> COME ON, PEE. >> EENIE, MEENIE, MINEY--

>> COME ON, PEE. >> EENIE, MEENIE, MINEY-- ( laughter )

>> EENIE, MEENIE, MINEY-- ( laughter ) >> THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

( laughter ) >> THAT'S A GOOD ONE. >> SHE LOOKS TOUGH.

>> NOT THIS TIME!

>> GO GET 'EM, TIGER! >> COME HERE. >> YEAH, COME HERE, BABY.

>> COME HERE. >> YEAH, COME HERE, BABY. >> YOU WANT SOME OF THIS PUSSY.

>> YEAH, COME HERE, BABY. >> YOU WANT SOME OF THIS PUSSY. ( boxing bell dings )

>> YOU WANT SOME OF THIS PUSSY. ( boxing bell dings ) ( Pee Wee screaming )

( boxing bell dings ) ( Pee Wee screaming ) >> GET HIM! GET HIM!

( Pee Wee screaming ) >> GET HIM! GET HIM! >> OH, OH, TOMMY.

>> GET HIM! GET HIM! >> OH, OH, TOMMY. >> OH, ENOUGH, END IT, PEE.

>> OH, OH, TOMMY. >> OH, ENOUGH, END IT, PEE. ( women laughing )

>> OH, ENOUGH, END IT, PEE. ( women laughing ) >> OH!

( women laughing ) >> OH! TOMMY, MAN DOWN.

>> OH! TOMMY, MAN DOWN. TOMMY, MAN DOWN.

TOMMY, MAN DOWN. TOMMY, MAN DOWN. MAN DOWN.

TOMMY, MAN DOWN. MAN DOWN. >> HE'S CRAWLING.

MAN DOWN. >> HE'S CRAWLING. >> GET OUT OF HERE, YOU BITCH!

>> HE'S CRAWLING. >> GET OUT OF HERE, YOU BITCH! >> OW!

>> GET OUT OF HERE, YOU BITCH! >> OW! ( door slams )

>> I CAN'T EVEN GET LAID IN MY OWN WHOREHOUSE. ( whimpering )

THANK YOU. >> CHANNEL TWO. CHECK IT OUT.

>> CHANNEL TWO. CHECK IT OUT. ( women moaning )

CHECK IT OUT. ( women moaning ) >> ( slurps )

>> BE NICE. >> FUCKING PEE.

>> I THINK I'M DYING. >> YOU'RE NOT DYING. NOW GET UP, CHAMP.

>> YOU'RE NOT DYING. NOW GET UP, CHAMP. IT'S TIME TO CELEBRATE.

>> WHY? >> BECAUSE LAST NIGHT, WE MADE A SHITLOAD OF MONEY.

>> BECAUSE LAST NIGHT, WE MADE A SHITLOAD OF MONEY. >> OKAY, EXACTLY HOW MUCH IS A

SHITLOAD OF MONEY. >> OKAY, EXACTLY HOW MUCH IS A SHITLOAD AGAIN?

>> OKAY, EXACTLY HOW MUCH IS A SHITLOAD AGAIN? >> 9,406 AND SOME CHANGE EVEN

SHITLOAD AGAIN? >> 9,406 AND SOME CHANGE EVEN AFTER WE TIPPED OUT THE GIRLS.

>> 9,406 AND SOME CHANGE EVEN AFTER WE TIPPED OUT THE GIRLS. >> OH, MY GOD, TOMMY, ARE YOU

AFTER WE TIPPED OUT THE GIRLS. >> OH, MY GOD, TOMMY, ARE YOU SAYING WE MADE 9,000...

>> OH, MY GOD, TOMMY, ARE YOU SAYING WE MADE 9,000... >> 406.

SAYING WE MADE 9,000... >> 406. >> AND SOME CHANGE IN ONE NIGHT?

>> 406. >> AND SOME CHANGE IN ONE NIGHT? HOW?

>> AND SOME CHANGE IN ONE NIGHT? HOW? >> I JUST LAID THERE.

HOW? >> I JUST LAID THERE. >> A COUPLE MORE NIGHTS LIKE

>> I JUST LAID THERE. >> A COUPLE MORE NIGHTS LIKE LAST NIGHT AND WE'LL BE ABLE TO

>> A COUPLE MORE NIGHTS LIKE LAST NIGHT AND WE'LL BE ABLE TO REPLACE THE VASES AND MOST OF

LAST NIGHT AND WE'LL BE ABLE TO REPLACE THE VASES AND MOST OF THE ANTIQUES.

REPLACE THE VASES AND MOST OF THE ANTIQUES. >> AND WE HAVE DOUBLE THE

THE ANTIQUES. >> AND WE HAVE DOUBLE THE RESERVATIONS FOR TONIGHT.

>> AND WE HAVE DOUBLE THE RESERVATIONS FOR TONIGHT. THE PHONE'S BEEN RINGING LIKE

RESERVATIONS FOR TONIGHT. THE PHONE'S BEEN RINGING LIKE CRAZY.

THE PHONE'S BEEN RINGING LIKE CRAZY. >> WAIT A MINUTE, YOU GUYS ARE

CRAZY. >> WAIT A MINUTE, YOU GUYS ARE SAYING WE HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN?

>> WAIT A MINUTE, YOU GUYS ARE SAYING WE HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN? >> OF COURSE WE ARE, PEE.

SAYING WE HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN? >> OF COURSE WE ARE, PEE. YOU HEARD SHELLY.

>> OF COURSE WE ARE, PEE. YOU HEARD SHELLY. A COUPLE OF MORE NIGHTS LIKE

YOU HEARD SHELLY. A COUPLE OF MORE NIGHTS LIKE LAST NIGHT AND ALL YOUR TROUBLES

A COUPLE OF MORE NIGHTS LIKE LAST NIGHT AND ALL YOUR TROUBLES ARE GONE.

LAST NIGHT AND ALL YOUR TROUBLES ARE GONE. >> YEAH, AND I AM TOTALLY BOOKED

ARE GONE. >> YEAH, AND I AM TOTALLY BOOKED SOLID.

>> YEAH, AND I AM TOTALLY BOOKED SOLID. AND A LOT OF HIGH ROLLERS.

SOLID. AND A LOT OF HIGH ROLLERS. >> THREE MORE RESERVATIONS.

AND A LOT OF HIGH ROLLERS. >> THREE MORE RESERVATIONS. AT THIS RATE, WE'LL HAVE THE

>> THREE MORE RESERVATIONS. AT THIS RATE, WE'LL HAVE THE MONEY IN NO TIME.

AT THIS RATE, WE'LL HAVE THE MONEY IN NO TIME. >> PEE WEE, NORMALLY I WOULD SAY

MONEY IN NO TIME. >> PEE WEE, NORMALLY I WOULD SAY THIS WHOLE IDEA IS CRAZY, BUT

>> PEE WEE, NORMALLY I WOULD SAY THIS WHOLE IDEA IS CRAZY, BUT LOOKING AT HOW LAST NIGHT WENT,

THIS WHOLE IDEA IS CRAZY, BUT LOOKING AT HOW LAST NIGHT WENT, I SAY GO FOR IT.

LOOKING AT HOW LAST NIGHT WENT, I SAY GO FOR IT. >> SHE'S RIGHT.

I SAY GO FOR IT. >> SHE'S RIGHT. SHE'S USUALLY A REAL PUSSY.

>> SHE'S RIGHT. SHE'S USUALLY A REAL PUSSY. >> THAT I AM.

SHE'S USUALLY A REAL PUSSY. >> THAT I AM. >> OKAY, WHY NOT, HUH?

>> THAT I AM. >> OKAY, WHY NOT, HUH? ( hip-hop music playing )

>> HEY. >> HEY. EVERYONE'S DOWNSTAIRS.

>> HEY. EVERYONE'S DOWNSTAIRS. >> WHAT'S THAT?

EVERYONE'S DOWNSTAIRS. >> WHAT'S THAT? >> GO GET 'EM, HEF.

>> NOT TOO BAD.

( cash register dings ) >> HERE, TAKE THESE BEERS. JESUS.

>> HERE, TAKE THESE BEERS. JESUS. DON'T FORGET TO TIP YOUR

JESUS. DON'T FORGET TO TIP YOUR BARTENDERS, BOYS.

DON'T FORGET TO TIP YOUR BARTENDERS, BOYS. COME ON, WHAT THE FUCK?

BARTENDERS, BOYS. COME ON, WHAT THE FUCK? >> NOT TOO SHABBY, HUH?

COME ON, WHAT THE FUCK? >> NOT TOO SHABBY, HUH? >> YOU ARE RUNNING A VERY

>> NOT TOO SHABBY, HUH? >> YOU ARE RUNNING A VERY WELL-ORGANIZED CATHOUSE, MA'AM.

>> SO YOU AND PEE WEE SNUCK OUT FOR A LITTLE WHILE. >> WE HAD A GOOD TIME.

FOR A LITTLE WHILE. >> WE HAD A GOOD TIME. >> AND DID YOU GUYS MAKE THE

>> WE HAD A GOOD TIME. >> AND DID YOU GUYS MAKE THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS?

>> AND DID YOU GUYS MAKE THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS? >> PLAY HIDE THE SALAMI?

BEAST WITH TWO BACKS? >> PLAY HIDE THE SALAMI? >> NO!

>> PLAY HIDE THE SALAMI? >> NO! >> DID YOU LET HIM SPANK YOU

>> NO! >> DID YOU LET HIM SPANK YOU LIKE A BAD GIRL?

>> DID YOU LET HIM SPANK YOU LIKE A BAD GIRL? >> BUMPING UGLIES?

LIKE A BAD GIRL? >> BUMPING UGLIES? >> I HAVEN'T BEEN A BAD, BAD

>> BUMPING UGLIES? >> I HAVEN'T BEEN A BAD, BAD GIRL, AND IT'S NOT THAT UGLY.

>> I HAVEN'T BEEN A BAD, BAD GIRL, AND IT'S NOT THAT UGLY. >> ( clears throat )

GIRL, AND IT'S NOT THAT UGLY. >> ( clears throat ) EVENING, EVERYONE.

>> ( clears throat ) EVENING, EVERYONE. ENJOYING THE PARTY?

EVENING, EVERYONE. ENJOYING THE PARTY? >> PEE WEE.

ENJOYING THE PARTY? >> PEE WEE. >> OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE A PIMP,

>> PEE WEE. >> OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE A PIMP, PEE WEE.

>> YOU LOOK GREAT. ( whip cracks ) ( rock music plays )

( laughing ) ( dog panting )

>> PIZZA SUPREME. >> SIT UP! >> AH! AH! AH!

>> SIT UP! >> AH! AH! AH! BAD DOG!

>> I'M STARVING. >> GONNA ROCK THIS ONE! ( woman laughing )

( answering machine beeps ) >> PEE WEE, IT'S UNCLE HOWARD. WELL, MY TRIP'S BEEN CUT SHORT,

>> PEE WEE, IT'S UNCLE HOWARD. WELL, MY TRIP'S BEEN CUT SHORT, AND I'LL BE HOME IN A FEW DAYS

WELL, MY TRIP'S BEEN CUT SHORT, AND I'LL BE HOME IN A FEW DAYS NOW, SO BE SURE TO USE THE

AND I'LL BE HOME IN A FEW DAYS NOW, SO BE SURE TO USE THE DISINFECTANT.

>> THIS IS AWESOME. >> I KNOW. >> HEY, GUYS.

>> I KNOW. >> HEY, GUYS. >> PEE WEE.

>> HEY, GUYS. >> PEE WEE. >> GOOD NEWS, PEE WEE, WE'RE

>> PEE WEE. >> GOOD NEWS, PEE WEE, WE'RE GONNA HAVE ALL THE MONEY SOONER

>> GOOD NEWS, PEE WEE, WE'RE GONNA HAVE ALL THE MONEY SOONER THAN WE THOUGHT.

GONNA HAVE ALL THE MONEY SOONER THAN WE THOUGHT. >> YEP, LAST NIGHT, WE PULLED IN

THAN WE THOUGHT. >> YEP, LAST NIGHT, WE PULLED IN OVER 11 GRAND.

>> YEP, LAST NIGHT, WE PULLED IN OVER 11 GRAND. WE'RE ALMOST THERE.

OVER 11 GRAND. WE'RE ALMOST THERE. >> NICE!

WE'RE ALMOST THERE. >> NICE! >> BLOW 'EM UP!

>> NICE! >> BLOW 'EM UP! >> BLOW IT UP!

>> BLOW 'EM UP! >> BLOW IT UP! >> HEY, YOU GUYS SEEN VANESSA?

>> BLOW IT UP! >> HEY, YOU GUYS SEEN VANESSA? >> I SAW HER THIS MORNING.

>> HEY, YOU GUYS SEEN VANESSA? >> I SAW HER THIS MORNING. SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING SWIMMING.

>> I SAW HER THIS MORNING. SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING SWIMMING. >> AH, GOTCHA.

SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING SWIMMING. >> AH, GOTCHA. >> LISTEN TO YOU.

>> AH, GOTCHA. >> LISTEN TO YOU. >> SHE WAS LOOKING FOR YOU,

>> LISTEN TO YOU. >> SHE WAS LOOKING FOR YOU, TIGER.

>> HOW'D WE DO LAST NIGHT, LLOYD? >> YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW, PORK.

LLOYD? >> YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW, PORK. >> TELL ME.

>> YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW, PORK. >> TELL ME. >> WE DID SHIT, PORK.

>> TELL ME. >> WE DID SHIT, PORK. ( glass shatters, cat yowls )

>> WE DID SHIT, PORK. ( glass shatters, cat yowls ) >> AND LET ME GUESS, YOU THINK

( glass shatters, cat yowls ) >> AND LET ME GUESS, YOU THINK IT'S 'CAUSE I LET THAT BITCH

>> AND LET ME GUESS, YOU THINK IT'S 'CAUSE I LET THAT BITCH TINA GET AWAY.

IT'S 'CAUSE I LET THAT BITCH TINA GET AWAY. >> I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

TINA GET AWAY. >> I DIDN'T SAY THAT. >> NO, BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE

>> I DIDN'T SAY THAT. >> NO, BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE THINKING.

>> PORKY, WE WANT TO TALK. >> WHAT DO WE WANT TO TALK ABOUT, LADIES?

>> WHAT DO WE WANT TO TALK ABOUT, LADIES? >> WE'RE DONE.

ABOUT, LADIES? >> WE'RE DONE. LAST NIGHT WAS OUR LAST NIGHT.

>> WE'RE DONE. LAST NIGHT WAS OUR LAST NIGHT. >> YOUR LAST NIGHT.

LAST NIGHT WAS OUR LAST NIGHT. >> YOUR LAST NIGHT. AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO

>> YOUR LAST NIGHT. AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?

AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW? WE'RE THE ONLY HOUSE IN TOWN.

NOW? WE'RE THE ONLY HOUSE IN TOWN. >> THERE'S A NEW PLACE DOWN AT

WE'RE THE ONLY HOUSE IN TOWN. >> THERE'S A NEW PLACE DOWN AT ANGEL BEACH.

>> THERE'S A NEW PLACE DOWN AT ANGEL BEACH. REAL NICE AND A BETTER CUT.

ANGEL BEACH. REAL NICE AND A BETTER CUT. >> ANGEL BEACH.

REAL NICE AND A BETTER CUT. >> ANGEL BEACH. ( chuckles )

>> ANGEL BEACH. ( chuckles ) WELL, YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS

( chuckles ) WELL, YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS DOWN THERE, THEN, BECAUSE YOU

WELL, YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS DOWN THERE, THEN, BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB HERE ANYMORE.

DOWN THERE, THEN, BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB HERE ANYMORE. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE,

DON'T HAVE A JOB HERE ANYMORE. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, ALL OF YOU.

NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, ALL OF YOU. GOD DAMN IT.

ALL OF YOU. GOD DAMN IT. YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT A NEW

GOD DAMN IT. YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT A NEW CATHOUSE IN ANGEL BEACH?

YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT A NEW CATHOUSE IN ANGEL BEACH? >> YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS?

>> I GUESS I AM. SHIT.

>> HEY, VANESSA! ( grunts ) >> ( laughs )

( grunts ) >> ( laughs ) >> OKAY, THAT WAS GRACEFUL.

>> ( laughs ) >> OKAY, THAT WAS GRACEFUL. >> ARE YOU STILL DRUNK FROM LAST

>> OKAY, THAT WAS GRACEFUL. >> ARE YOU STILL DRUNK FROM LAST NIGHT?

>> ARE YOU STILL DRUNK FROM LAST NIGHT? >> SOBER AS A JUDGE.

NIGHT? >> SOBER AS A JUDGE. >> OH.

>> SOBER AS A JUDGE. >> OH. >> LOOK, THANKS FOR TRACKING

>> OH. >> LOOK, THANKS FOR TRACKING DOWN THOSE NEW VASES FOR ME.

>> LOOK, THANKS FOR TRACKING DOWN THOSE NEW VASES FOR ME. YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T HAVE DONE

DOWN THOSE NEW VASES FOR ME. YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU.

YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU. >> SURE.

IT WITHOUT YOU. >> SURE. YOU JUST GOT TO KNOW WHERE TO

>> SURE. YOU JUST GOT TO KNOW WHERE TO LOOK.

YOU JUST GOT TO KNOW WHERE TO LOOK. SOME OF THE ANTIQUES ARE GOING

LOOK. SOME OF THE ANTIQUES ARE GOING TO BE A LITTLE HARDER, THOUGH.

SOME OF THE ANTIQUES ARE GOING TO BE A LITTLE HARDER, THOUGH. >> WELL, UM, THANKS ANYWAY.

TO BE A LITTLE HARDER, THOUGH. >> WELL, UM, THANKS ANYWAY. >> GLAD TO HELP.

( seagull screeches ) >> OH! REALLY?!

>> OH! REALLY?! >> ( laughs )

REALLY?! >> ( laughs ) OH, HERE.

>> ( laughs ) OH, HERE. HERE.

OH, HERE. HERE. >> THANK YOU.

HERE. >> THANK YOU. ( groans )

>> THANK YOU. ( groans ) WHAT COLOR IS THAT?

( groans ) WHAT COLOR IS THAT? IS THAT PERIWINKLE?

WHAT COLOR IS THAT? IS THAT PERIWINKLE? >> I DON'T KNOW.

IS THAT PERIWINKLE? >> I DON'T KNOW. >> HEY.

>> I DON'T KNOW. >> HEY. HEY, YOU GUYS.

>> HEY. HEY, YOU GUYS. >> HI.

HEY, YOU GUYS. >> HI. >> DO I SMELL BIRD SHIT?

>> HI. >> DO I SMELL BIRD SHIT? >> YEAH, IT'S ME.

>> DO I SMELL BIRD SHIT? >> YEAH, IT'S ME. >> OH, CHARMING.

>> YEAH, IT'S ME. >> OH, CHARMING. PEE WEE, TOMMY AND MEAT WANT TO

>> OH, CHARMING. PEE WEE, TOMMY AND MEAT WANT TO SEE YOU.

PEE WEE, TOMMY AND MEAT WANT TO SEE YOU. IT'S A SURPRISE.

SEE YOU. IT'S A SURPRISE. >> OKAY.

IT'S A SURPRISE. >> OKAY. UM, I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU GIRLS

>> OKAY. UM, I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU GIRLS LATER.

UM, I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU GIRLS LATER. >> ALL RIGHT.

>> BLOW 'EM UP. >> ( laughs ) >> WHAT?

>> ( laughs ) >> WHAT? >> THAT GUY'S A WALKING, TALKING

>> WHAT? >> THAT GUY'S A WALKING, TALKING TRAIN WRECK.

>> THAT GUY'S A WALKING, TALKING TRAIN WRECK. >> BUT HE'S SO CUTE, THOUGH.

TRAIN WRECK. >> BUT HE'S SO CUTE, THOUGH. >> HE'S GOT SOMETHING, I'LL GIVE

>> BUT HE'S SO CUTE, THOUGH. >> HE'S GOT SOMETHING, I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.

>> HE'S GOT SOMETHING, I'LL GIVE YOU THAT. NOT SURE WHAT IT IS.

YOU THAT. NOT SURE WHAT IT IS. >> HEY.

NOT SURE WHAT IT IS. >> HEY. ARE YOU EVER GOING TO TELL THE

>> HEY. ARE YOU EVER GOING TO TELL THE GUYS THE REAL REASON YOU'RE

ARE YOU EVER GOING TO TELL THE GUYS THE REAL REASON YOU'RE HELPING THEM?

GUYS THE REAL REASON YOU'RE HELPING THEM? >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

HELPING THEM? >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> COME ON, SHEL, WE BOTH KNOW

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> COME ON, SHEL, WE BOTH KNOW YOU'RE ONLY STARTING A

>> COME ON, SHEL, WE BOTH KNOW YOU'RE ONLY STARTING A WHOREHOUSE TO GET BACK AT YOUR

YOU'RE ONLY STARTING A WHOREHOUSE TO GET BACK AT YOUR DAD.

WHOREHOUSE TO GET BACK AT YOUR DAD. >> THAT'S NOT TRUE.

DAD. >> THAT'S NOT TRUE. OKAY, MAYBE IT STARTED THAT WAY,

>> THAT'S NOT TRUE. OKAY, MAYBE IT STARTED THAT WAY, BUT I REALLY LIKE TOMMY NOW, AND

OKAY, MAYBE IT STARTED THAT WAY, BUT I REALLY LIKE TOMMY NOW, AND I WANT TO HELP PEE WEE.

BUT I REALLY LIKE TOMMY NOW, AND I WANT TO HELP PEE WEE. >> ARE YOU EVER GOING TO TELL

I WANT TO HELP PEE WEE. >> ARE YOU EVER GOING TO TELL THEM WHO YOUR DAD IS?

>> ARE YOU EVER GOING TO TELL THEM WHO YOUR DAD IS? YOU CAN'T HIDE IT FOREVER.

THEM WHO YOUR DAD IS? YOU CAN'T HIDE IT FOREVER. >> I KNOW, BUT IT'S GOT TO BE

YOU CAN'T HIDE IT FOREVER. >> I KNOW, BUT IT'S GOT TO BE THE RIGHT TIME.

>> I KNOW, BUT IT'S GOT TO BE THE RIGHT TIME. TOMMY WILL FREAK.

THE RIGHT TIME. TOMMY WILL FREAK. >> PEE WEE WILL HAVE A STROKE.

TOMMY WILL FREAK. >> PEE WEE WILL HAVE A STROKE. ( both laugh )

>> PEE WEE WILL HAVE A STROKE. ( both laugh ) >> OH, YOU REALLY LIKE HIM,

( both laugh ) >> OH, YOU REALLY LIKE HIM, DON'T YOU?

>> OH, YOU REALLY LIKE HIM, DON'T YOU? >> HE'S NOT MY TYPE AT ALL.

DON'T YOU? >> HE'S NOT MY TYPE AT ALL. >> NOT YOUR TYPE?

>> HE'S NOT MY TYPE AT ALL. >> NOT YOUR TYPE? NERDS ALWAYS GO FOR YOU.

>> NOT YOUR TYPE? NERDS ALWAYS GO FOR YOU. >> PEE WEE IS NOT A NERD.

NERDS ALWAYS GO FOR YOU. >> PEE WEE IS NOT A NERD. >> OH, YES, HE IS.

>> PEE WEE IS NOT A NERD. >> OH, YES, HE IS. BUT IT'S OKAY, NO, HE'S A

>> OH, YES, HE IS. BUT IT'S OKAY, NO, HE'S A LOVABLE NERD.

BUT IT'S OKAY, NO, HE'S A LOVABLE NERD. >> ( laughs )

LOVABLE NERD. >> ( laughs ) >> ( chuckles )

>> ( laughs ) >> ( chuckles ) >> NO, NO WAY.

>> ( chuckles ) >> NO, NO WAY. THAT'S NOT GOING TO ATTRACT ANY

>> NO, NO WAY. THAT'S NOT GOING TO ATTRACT ANY ATTENTION AT ALL.

THAT'S NOT GOING TO ATTRACT ANY ATTENTION AT ALL. >> RELAX, PEE, IT'S ONLY FOR A

ATTENTION AT ALL. >> RELAX, PEE, IT'S ONLY FOR A NIGHT.

>> RELAX, PEE, IT'S ONLY FOR A NIGHT. WHAT HARM CAN IT DO?

NIGHT. WHAT HARM CAN IT DO? COME ON, PAL, WE GOT CUSTOMERS

WHAT HARM CAN IT DO? COME ON, PAL, WE GOT CUSTOMERS WAITING.

COME ON, PAL, WE GOT CUSTOMERS WAITING. >> BLOW 'EM UP.

WAITING. >> BLOW 'EM UP. BLOW 'EM UP.

>> BLOW 'EM UP. BLOW 'EM UP. ATTABOY, CUTIE.

BLOW 'EM UP. ATTABOY, CUTIE. >> CAREFUL.

ATTABOY, CUTIE. >> CAREFUL. ( rock music playing )

>> I GOT YOU. HOW ABOUT A... WHAT DO YOU SAY?

>> I GOT THE ADDRESS RIGHT HERE. PORK, WHY YOU WANT TO GO FUCK WITH THIS?

PORK, WHY YOU WANT TO GO FUCK WITH THIS? >> SOMEBODY TOOK IT UPON

WITH THIS? >> SOMEBODY TOOK IT UPON THEMSELVES TO PLAY AROUND IN MY

>> SOMEBODY TOOK IT UPON THEMSELVES TO PLAY AROUND IN MY PIGPEN.

THEMSELVES TO PLAY AROUND IN MY PIGPEN. AND I DON'T LIKE THAT AT ALL.

PIGPEN. AND I DON'T LIKE THAT AT ALL. NOW I'M GONNA FUCK 'EM UP.

AND I DON'T LIKE THAT AT ALL. NOW I'M GONNA FUCK 'EM UP. LET'S GO, BROTHER.

NOW I'M GONNA FUCK 'EM UP. LET'S GO, BROTHER. >> SO WHAT YOU GOING TO DO,

LET'S GO, BROTHER. >> SO WHAT YOU GOING TO DO, SHOOT SOMEBODY?

>> SO WHAT YOU GOING TO DO, SHOOT SOMEBODY? >> I MIGHT GO TO JAIL, AND I

SHOOT SOMEBODY? >> I MIGHT GO TO JAIL, AND I MIGHT NOT.

>> I MIGHT GO TO JAIL, AND I MIGHT NOT. >> THAT MEANS I'M GOING TO JAIL,

MIGHT NOT. >> THAT MEANS I'M GOING TO JAIL, THEN.

>> THAT MEANS I'M GOING TO JAIL, THEN. >> YEAH, YOU'LL GO TO JAIL FOR

THEN. >> YEAH, YOU'LL GO TO JAIL FOR SURE.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK TOMMY AND SHELLY HAVE THINGS UNDER CONTROL.

I THINK TOMMY AND SHELLY HAVE THINGS UNDER CONTROL. >> I STILL WANT TO KEEP AN EYE

THINGS UNDER CONTROL. >> I STILL WANT TO KEEP AN EYE ON THINGS.

>> I STILL WANT TO KEEP AN EYE ON THINGS. I CAN'T AFFORD TO REPLACE

ON THINGS. I CAN'T AFFORD TO REPLACE ANYTHING ELSE.

>> GOOD FOR YOU, PEE WEE. GOOD FOR YOU.

HEY, CHECK IT OUT. PEE WEE'S FINALLY GONNA SEAL THE DEAL.

PEE WEE'S FINALLY GONNA SEAL THE DEAL. >> SPEAKING OF WHICH.

DEAL. >> SPEAKING OF WHICH. >> OH, DON'T EVEN BOTHER.

>> SPEAKING OF WHICH. >> OH, DON'T EVEN BOTHER. I MEAN, YOU MIGHT THINK HAVING A

>> OH, DON'T EVEN BOTHER. I MEAN, YOU MIGHT THINK HAVING A HUGE COCK WOULD BE A GREAT

I MEAN, YOU MIGHT THINK HAVING A HUGE COCK WOULD BE A GREAT THING, BUT EVERY WOMAN WHO SEES

HUGE COCK WOULD BE A GREAT THING, BUT EVERY WOMAN WHO SEES IT RUNS IN FEAR.

THING, BUT EVERY WOMAN WHO SEES IT RUNS IN FEAR. THEY THINK I'LL HURT THEM OR

IT RUNS IN FEAR. THEY THINK I'LL HURT THEM OR SOMETHING.

THEY THINK I'LL HURT THEM OR SOMETHING. IT'S BECOME A CURSE.

SOMETHING. IT'S BECOME A CURSE. >> PLEASE.

IT'S BECOME A CURSE. >> PLEASE. YOU KNOW, THE RIGHT MUSCLE

>> PLEASE. YOU KNOW, THE RIGHT MUSCLE TECHNIQUE AND A LITTLE LUBE, ALL

YOU KNOW, THE RIGHT MUSCLE TECHNIQUE AND A LITTLE LUBE, ALL IN THE HANDS OF AN EXPERIENCED

TECHNIQUE AND A LITTLE LUBE, ALL IN THE HANDS OF AN EXPERIENCED WOMAN, IS ALL YOU NEED.

IN THE HANDS OF AN EXPERIENCED WOMAN, IS ALL YOU NEED. COME ON.

WOMAN, IS ALL YOU NEED. COME ON. I COULD USE A BREAK.

COME ON. I COULD USE A BREAK. I'LL SHOW YOU.

( low rumbling ) >> BRACE YOURSELF. YOU SURE YOU'RE READY FOR THAT?

>> BRACE YOURSELF. YOU SURE YOU'RE READY FOR THAT? >> HONEY...

YOU SURE YOU'RE READY FOR THAT? >> HONEY... I HAVE BEEN REHEARSING FOR IT

>> HONEY... I HAVE BEEN REHEARSING FOR IT MY WHOLE LIFE.

I HAVE BEEN REHEARSING FOR IT MY WHOLE LIFE. >> WELL, IN THAT CASE.

>> CHECK THIS OUT. WHAT YOU THINK? BETTER THAN PORKY'S?

WHAT YOU THINK? BETTER THAN PORKY'S? >> BETTER THAN PORKY'S.

>> THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE MY SIGN. >> NO, IT DOESN'T. >> THIS IS A CROCK OF SHIT.

>> NO, IT DOESN'T. >> THIS IS A CROCK OF SHIT. >> TAKE IT EASY, PORK.

>> THIS IS A CROCK OF SHIT. >> TAKE IT EASY, PORK. >> AND WHO THE FUCK IS PEE WEE?

( pop music playing )

>> YOU? IT'S THOSE LITTLE PUSSIES THAT WERE RAISING HELL DOWN IN MY

IT'S THOSE LITTLE PUSSIES THAT WERE RAISING HELL DOWN IN MY PENS.

WERE RAISING HELL DOWN IN MY PENS. ( chuckles )

PENS. ( chuckles ) GET 'EM, LLOYD.

( chuckles ) GET 'EM, LLOYD. >> COME HERE!

GET 'EM, LLOYD. >> COME HERE! >> NO! NO!

>> COME HERE! >> NO! NO! >> WHAT THE FUCK?

>> NO! NO! >> WHAT THE FUCK? >> GET THE FUCK OFF ME!

>> WHAT THE FUCK? >> GET THE FUCK OFF ME! >> GIMME THAT FUCKING BAT!

>> GET THE FUCK OFF ME! >> GIMME THAT FUCKING BAT! >> GO AHEAD, SHIT FOR BRAINS,

>> GIMME THAT FUCKING BAT! >> GO AHEAD, SHIT FOR BRAINS, MAKE YOUR MOVE.

>> GO AHEAD, SHIT FOR BRAINS, MAKE YOUR MOVE. >> GIMME THE FUCKING BAT.

MAKE YOUR MOVE. >> GIMME THE FUCKING BAT. >> EASY. EASY.

>> GIMME THE FUCKING BAT. >> EASY. EASY. TRUST ME, IT'S EASY.

>> EASY. EASY. TRUST ME, IT'S EASY. >> PUT THAT AWAY!

TRUST ME, IT'S EASY. >> PUT THAT AWAY! >> TINA?

>> PUT THAT AWAY! >> TINA? >> I WORK HERE NOW.

>> TINA? >> I WORK HERE NOW. >> YEAH, WELL, NOT ANYMORE,

>> I WORK HERE NOW. >> YEAH, WELL, NOT ANYMORE, YOU DON'T.

>> YEAH, WELL, NOT ANYMORE, YOU DON'T. NONE OF YOU WORK HERE.

YOU DON'T. NONE OF YOU WORK HERE. >> DADDY.

NONE OF YOU WORK HERE. >> DADDY. >> SHELLY.

>> DADDY. >> SHELLY. >> DADDY?

>> SHELLY. >> DADDY? >> SORRY, I WAS GONNA TELL YOU.

>> DADDY? >> SORRY, I WAS GONNA TELL YOU. >> WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU

>> SORRY, I WAS GONNA TELL YOU. >> WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE WITH ALL THESE

>> WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE WITH ALL THESE DEGENERATES?

DOING HERE WITH ALL THESE DEGENERATES? >> THESE DEGENERATES ARE MY

DEGENERATES? >> THESE DEGENERATES ARE MY FRIENDS.

>> THESE DEGENERATES ARE MY FRIENDS. I WORK HERE.

FRIENDS. I WORK HERE. DAD, I DON'T WORK HERE, WORK

I WORK HERE. DAD, I DON'T WORK HERE, WORK HERE.

DAD, I DON'T WORK HERE, WORK HERE. I-- I MEAN, WE RUN THIS PLACE.

HERE. I-- I MEAN, WE RUN THIS PLACE. >> YOU RUN THIS PLACE?

I-- I MEAN, WE RUN THIS PLACE. >> YOU RUN THIS PLACE? >> DAMN RIGHT I DO.

>> YOU RUN THIS PLACE? >> DAMN RIGHT I DO. >> DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW

>> DAMN RIGHT I DO. >> DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH MONEY I'VE LOST?

>> DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH MONEY I'VE LOST? >> I HAVE SOME IDEA.

MUCH MONEY I'VE LOST? >> I HAVE SOME IDEA. >> YOU'VE ALMOST RUINED ME.

>> I HAVE SOME IDEA. >> YOU'VE ALMOST RUINED ME. >> YOU SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO ME

>> YOU'VE ALMOST RUINED ME. >> YOU SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO ME WHEN I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOU.

>> YOU SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO ME WHEN I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOU. >> I TELL YOU WHAT, WHY DON'T

WHEN I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOU. >> I TELL YOU WHAT, WHY DON'T YOU AND ME TALK ABOUT THIS

>> I TELL YOU WHAT, WHY DON'T YOU AND ME TALK ABOUT THIS OUTSIDE, ALL RIGHT?

YOU AND ME TALK ABOUT THIS OUTSIDE, ALL RIGHT? NOW, BOYS, DON'T YOU BE STUPID.

OUTSIDE, ALL RIGHT? NOW, BOYS, DON'T YOU BE STUPID. I'M TELLING YOU.

NOW, BOYS, DON'T YOU BE STUPID. I'M TELLING YOU. WATCH 'EM, LLOYD.

I'M TELLING YOU. WATCH 'EM, LLOYD. >> BATTER UP, MOTHERFUCKERS.

WATCH 'EM, LLOYD. >> BATTER UP, MOTHERFUCKERS. YEAH, YOU, TOO.

>> BATTER UP, MOTHERFUCKERS. YEAH, YOU, TOO. >> PORKY IS SHELLY'S FATHER?

YEAH, YOU, TOO. >> PORKY IS SHELLY'S FATHER? THIS IS SO FUCKED.

>> PORKY IS SHELLY'S FATHER? THIS IS SO FUCKED. >> TELL ME ABOUT IT, PEE.

THIS IS SO FUCKED. >> TELL ME ABOUT IT, PEE. >> SHE WAS GOING TO TELL YOU

>> TELL ME ABOUT IT, PEE. >> SHE WAS GOING TO TELL YOU GUYS.

>> SHE WAS GOING TO TELL YOU GUYS. SHE WAS JUST WAITING FOR THE

GUYS. SHE WAS JUST WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME.

SHE WAS JUST WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME. >> WHY?

RIGHT TIME. >> WHY? >> BECAUSE I CAN.

>> WHY? >> BECAUSE I CAN. >> OH, SHIT.

>> BECAUSE I CAN. >> OH, SHIT. YOU ARE RUNNING A WHOREHOUSE

>> OH, SHIT. YOU ARE RUNNING A WHOREHOUSE WITH A BUNCH OF SNOT-NOSED PUNKS

YOU ARE RUNNING A WHOREHOUSE WITH A BUNCH OF SNOT-NOSED PUNKS FROM ANGEL BEACH.

WITH A BUNCH OF SNOT-NOSED PUNKS FROM ANGEL BEACH. >> I'M A DAMN GOOD

FROM ANGEL BEACH. >> I'M A DAMN GOOD BUSINESSWOMAN, A LOT SMARTER

>> I'M A DAMN GOOD BUSINESSWOMAN, A LOT SMARTER THAN YOU GIVE ME CREDIT FOR.

BUSINESSWOMAN, A LOT SMARTER THAN YOU GIVE ME CREDIT FOR. I BEAT YOU AT YOUR OWN GAME.

THAN YOU GIVE ME CREDIT FOR. I BEAT YOU AT YOUR OWN GAME. >> WELL, YOU CERTAINLY DID THAT.

I BEAT YOU AT YOUR OWN GAME. >> WELL, YOU CERTAINLY DID THAT. BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE,

>> WELL, YOU CERTAINLY DID THAT. BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, SHELLY?

BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, SHELLY? YOU'RE SMARTER THAN I AM.

SHELLY? YOU'RE SMARTER THAN I AM. YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME.

YOU'RE SMARTER THAN I AM. YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME. >> DAD...

YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME. >> DAD... YOU KNOW I DON'T FEEL THAT WAY.

YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU. >> YEAH, I LOVE YOU, TOO, BUT PUTTING YOUR OLD MAN OUT OF

>> YEAH, I LOVE YOU, TOO, BUT PUTTING YOUR OLD MAN OUT OF BUSINESS IS A SERIOUSLY FUCKED-

PUTTING YOUR OLD MAN OUT OF BUSINESS IS A SERIOUSLY FUCKED- UP WAY OF SHOWING YOUR

BUSINESS IS A SERIOUSLY FUCKED- UP WAY OF SHOWING YOUR AFFECTION.

UP WAY OF SHOWING YOUR AFFECTION. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?

AFFECTION. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW? YOU GONNA STAY OPEN AND TAKE

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW? YOU GONNA STAY OPEN AND TAKE ALL OF MY CUSTOMERS?

YOU GONNA STAY OPEN AND TAKE ALL OF MY CUSTOMERS? >> I DON'T KNOW.

ALL OF MY CUSTOMERS? >> I DON'T KNOW. >> YOU MADE YOUR POINT.

>> I DON'T KNOW. >> YOU MADE YOUR POINT. YOU CAN RUN A BUSINESS.

>> YOU MADE YOUR POINT. YOU CAN RUN A BUSINESS. I'LL MAKE THE CHANGES.

YOU CAN RUN A BUSINESS. I'LL MAKE THE CHANGES. JUST DO ME A FAVOR.

I'LL MAKE THE CHANGES. JUST DO ME A FAVOR. GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND SHUT THIS

JUST DO ME A FAVOR. GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND SHUT THIS CIRCUS DOWN.

GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND SHUT THIS CIRCUS DOWN. >> ON ONE CONDITION.

CIRCUS DOWN. >> ON ONE CONDITION. YOU GIVE MY FRIENDS THEIR MONEY

>> ON ONE CONDITION. YOU GIVE MY FRIENDS THEIR MONEY BACK.

YOU GIVE MY FRIENDS THEIR MONEY BACK. >> WHAT MONEY?

BACK. >> WHAT MONEY? >> THE 750 YOU TOOK FROM THEM.

>> WHAT MONEY? >> THE 750 YOU TOOK FROM THEM. YOU PROMISED TO GET THEM LAID.

>> THE 750 YOU TOOK FROM THEM. YOU PROMISED TO GET THEM LAID. >> OH, YEAH.

YOU PROMISED TO GET THEM LAID. >> OH, YEAH. ( chuckles )

>> OH, YEAH. ( chuckles ) YEAH, I CAN DO THAT.

( chuckles ) YEAH, I CAN DO THAT. I GUESS WITH MY DAUGHTER BEHIND

YEAH, I CAN DO THAT. I GUESS WITH MY DAUGHTER BEHIND THEM, THEY'RE-- THEY'RE NOT

I GUESS WITH MY DAUGHTER BEHIND THEM, THEY'RE-- THEY'RE NOT SUCH PUSSIES AFTER ALL.

THEM, THEY'RE-- THEY'RE NOT SUCH PUSSIES AFTER ALL. COME ON, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

>> 10, YES. >> INCREDIBLY GAY. >> AWESOME.

>> INCREDIBLY GAY. >> AWESOME. >> EVERYBODY HAVE A GOOD NIGHT?

>> AWESOME. >> EVERYBODY HAVE A GOOD NIGHT? >> YOU KNOW IT.

>> EVERYBODY HAVE A GOOD NIGHT? >> YOU KNOW IT. >> YES.

>> YOU KNOW IT. >> YES. NOW I KNOW WHY THEY CALL HIM

>> YES. NOW I KNOW WHY THEY CALL HIM MEAT.

NOW I KNOW WHY THEY CALL HIM MEAT. I GUESS HE'S BIG ENOUGH.

MEAT. I GUESS HE'S BIG ENOUGH. >> DUDE'S LIKE THAT.

I GUESS HE'S BIG ENOUGH. >> DUDE'S LIKE THAT. >> AND I FOUND OUT WHY THEY

>> DUDE'S LIKE THAT. >> AND I FOUND OUT WHY THEY CALL HIM PEE WEE.

>> AND I FOUND OUT WHY THEY CALL HIM PEE WEE. BUT IT'S OKAY.

CALL HIM PEE WEE. BUT IT'S OKAY. HE'S GOT GIRTH AND...

BUT IT'S OKAY. HE'S GOT GIRTH AND... VOLUME.

HE'S GOT GIRTH AND... VOLUME. AND THERE IS PLENTY OF REPEAT

VOLUME. AND THERE IS PLENTY OF REPEAT BUSINESS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M

AND THERE IS PLENTY OF REPEAT BUSINESS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

BUSINESS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. HOW IS A GIRL GOING TO GET HER

TALKING ABOUT. HOW IS A GIRL GOING TO GET HER BEAUTY SLEEP?

HOW IS A GIRL GOING TO GET HER BEAUTY SLEEP? >> SO PORKY'S NOT GONNA KILL US?

BEAUTY SLEEP? >> SO PORKY'S NOT GONNA KILL US? >> NOPE.

>> SO PORKY'S NOT GONNA KILL US? >> NOPE. HE'S JUST GLAD HE HAS HIS GIRLS

>> NOPE. HE'S JUST GLAD HE HAS HIS GIRLS BACK.

HE'S JUST GLAD HE HAS HIS GIRLS BACK. >> HEY, HOW MUCH MONEY DID WE

BACK. >> HEY, HOW MUCH MONEY DID WE MAKE, ANYWAY?

>> HEY, HOW MUCH MONEY DID WE MAKE, ANYWAY? >> A LOT.

MAKE, ANYWAY? >> A LOT. >> BOYS, WE MADE 29,982 BUCKS.

>> A LOT. >> BOYS, WE MADE 29,982 BUCKS. >> WOW.

>> BOYS, WE MADE 29,982 BUCKS. >> WOW. >> OH, MY GOD!

>> WOW. >> OH, MY GOD! WE DID IT!

>> OH, MY GOD! WE DID IT! >> YEAH!

WE DID IT! >> YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT, MR. PEE WEE!

>> YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT, MR. PEE WEE! >> MEAT!

THAT'S RIGHT, MR. PEE WEE! >> MEAT! ( bells jangling )

>> MEAT! ( bells jangling ) >> SURE AS SHIT, BOYS, WE MADE

( bells jangling ) >> SURE AS SHIT, BOYS, WE MADE ENOUGH DOUGH TO REPLACE ALL

>> SURE AS SHIT, BOYS, WE MADE ENOUGH DOUGH TO REPLACE ALL THOSE ANTIQUES AND VASES, AND

ENOUGH DOUGH TO REPLACE ALL THOSE ANTIQUES AND VASES, AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?

THOSE ANTIQUES AND VASES, AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? >> WE DON'T HAVE TO WORK THIS

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? >> WE DON'T HAVE TO WORK THIS SUMMER?

>> WE DON'T HAVE TO WORK THIS SUMMER? >> NOT A SINGLE DAY, MY FRIEND.

SUMMER? >> NOT A SINGLE DAY, MY FRIEND. ( laughter )

>> NOT A SINGLE DAY, MY FRIEND. ( laughter ) >> THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR.

( laughter ) >> THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR. >> SO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

>> THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR. >> SO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW? >> WELL, MY UNCLE'S NOT DUE

>> SO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW? >> WELL, MY UNCLE'S NOT DUE BACK FOR ANOTHER COUPLE OF

>> WELL, MY UNCLE'S NOT DUE BACK FOR ANOTHER COUPLE OF WEEKS.

BACK FOR ANOTHER COUPLE OF WEEKS. SO, UH, I GUESS WE COULD PARTY.

WEEKS. SO, UH, I GUESS WE COULD PARTY. >> PARTY?

SO, UH, I GUESS WE COULD PARTY. >> PARTY? >> UNCLE HOWARD.

>> PARTY? >> UNCLE HOWARD. >> OH, SHIT.

>> UNCLE HOWARD. >> OH, SHIT. >> OH, FUCK, THERE'S HIS UNCLE.

>> OH, SHIT. >> OH, FUCK, THERE'S HIS UNCLE. >> YOU'RE BACK.

>> OH, FUCK, THERE'S HIS UNCLE. >> YOU'RE BACK. >> YEAH, I LEFT YOU A MESSAGE.

>> YOU'RE BACK. >> YEAH, I LEFT YOU A MESSAGE. >> WE'RE IN DEEP SHIT.

>> YEAH, I LEFT YOU A MESSAGE. >> WE'RE IN DEEP SHIT. >> WE GOT OFF ON THIS ISLAND,

>> WE'RE IN DEEP SHIT. >> WE GOT OFF ON THIS ISLAND, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

>> WE GOT OFF ON THIS ISLAND, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? NO ONE WAS WEARING CLOTHES.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? NO ONE WAS WEARING CLOTHES. >> MUST HAVE BEEN AWFUL.

NO ONE WAS WEARING CLOTHES. >> MUST HAVE BEEN AWFUL. >> IT WAS AT FIRST, BUT I GOT

>> MUST HAVE BEEN AWFUL. >> IT WAS AT FIRST, BUT I GOT USED TO IT, AND AFTER A WHILE,

>> IT WAS AT FIRST, BUT I GOT USED TO IT, AND AFTER A WHILE, MY CRUISE SHIP LEFT AND I WAS

USED TO IT, AND AFTER A WHILE, MY CRUISE SHIP LEFT AND I WAS ALL ALONE...

MY CRUISE SHIP LEFT AND I WAS ALL ALONE... WITH THESE TWO.

ALL ALONE... WITH THESE TWO. SO YOU WERE SAYING SOMETHING

WITH THESE TWO. SO YOU WERE SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT A PARTY?

SO YOU WERE SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT A PARTY? >> OH, UH, NOTHING, ACTUALLY.

ABOUT A PARTY? >> OH, UH, NOTHING, ACTUALLY. >> NO.

>> OH, UH, NOTHING, ACTUALLY. >> NO. >> NO, NO PARTY AT ALL.

>> NO. >> NO, NO PARTY AT ALL. >> EXCEPT FOR THE ONE WHERE MY

>> NO, NO PARTY AT ALL. >> EXCEPT FOR THE ONE WHERE MY PEACE VASES GOT SMASHED.

>> EXCEPT FOR THE ONE WHERE MY PEACE VASES GOT SMASHED. >> OH.

PEACE VASES GOT SMASHED. >> OH. RIGHT, UH, THAT PARTY.

>> OH. RIGHT, UH, THAT PARTY. UH...

RIGHT, UH, THAT PARTY. UH... SEE, WE, UM...

UH... SEE, WE, UM... UH...

SEE, WE, UM... UH... LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY, UNCLE

UH... LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY, UNCLE HOWARD, BUT I MADE BACK ALL THE

LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY, UNCLE HOWARD, BUT I MADE BACK ALL THE MONEY, AND I'M GONNA MAKE IT UP

HOWARD, BUT I MADE BACK ALL THE MONEY, AND I'M GONNA MAKE IT UP TO YOU, I SWEAR.

MONEY, AND I'M GONNA MAKE IT UP TO YOU, I SWEAR. >> DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

TO YOU, I SWEAR. >> DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. >> BUT EVERYTHING IS ALL

>> DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. >> BUT EVERYTHING IS ALL BROKEN, AND I MADE THE MONEY

>> BUT EVERYTHING IS ALL BROKEN, AND I MADE THE MONEY BACK, AND I'M GONNA REPLACE

BROKEN, AND I MADE THE MONEY BACK, AND I'M GONNA REPLACE EVERYTHING.

BACK, AND I'M GONNA REPLACE EVERYTHING. >> I KNOW, I KNOW, I SAW.

EVERYTHING. >> I KNOW, I KNOW, I SAW. >> I DON'T GET IT.

>> I KNOW, I KNOW, I SAW. >> I DON'T GET IT. >> PEE WEE, THIS VACATION DID

>> I DON'T GET IT. >> PEE WEE, THIS VACATION DID WONDERS FOR ME.

>> PEE WEE, THIS VACATION DID WONDERS FOR ME. THESE ARE JUST THINGS.

WONDERS FOR ME. THESE ARE JUST THINGS. THINGS DON'T MATTER.

THESE ARE JUST THINGS. THINGS DON'T MATTER. WHAT MATTERS IS I'M A NEW MAN.

THINGS DON'T MATTER. WHAT MATTERS IS I'M A NEW MAN. I HAD NO IDEA THAT SEX WAS SO

WHAT MATTERS IS I'M A NEW MAN. I HAD NO IDEA THAT SEX WAS SO GOOD.

I HAD NO IDEA THAT SEX WAS SO GOOD. ( laughter )

GOOD. ( laughter ) AND YOU KIDS HAVE FUN.

>> YOU TOO! HEY, BE CAREFUL WITH HIM. HE'S FRAGILE, OKAY?

HEY, BE CAREFUL WITH HIM. HE'S FRAGILE, OKAY? >> OH, MY GOD.

HE'S FRAGILE, OKAY? >> OH, MY GOD. >> HOLY SHIT, PEE WEE!

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE WE GOT AWAY WITH THAT. >> THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?

WITH THAT. >> THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN? >> I THINK IT DID.

>> THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN? >> I THINK IT DID. >> WE JUST GOT OFF SCOT- FREE.

>> I THINK IT DID. >> WE JUST GOT OFF SCOT- FREE. >> I THINK WE DID.

>> WE JUST GOT OFF SCOT- FREE. >> I THINK WE DID. >> WE SHOULD THROW A PARTY TO

>> I THINK WE DID. >> WE SHOULD THROW A PARTY TO CELEBRATE.

>> WE SHOULD THROW A PARTY TO CELEBRATE. >> I DON'T KNOW, PEE, I'M KIND

CELEBRATE. >> I DON'T KNOW, PEE, I'M KIND OF PARTIED OUT RIGHT NOW, YOU

>> I DON'T KNOW, PEE, I'M KIND OF PARTIED OUT RIGHT NOW, YOU KNOW?

OF PARTIED OUT RIGHT NOW, YOU KNOW? >> YEAH, MAN, I'M BEAT.

KNOW? >> YEAH, MAN, I'M BEAT. I THINK I NEED SOME SLEEP.

>> YEAH, MAN, I'M BEAT. I THINK I NEED SOME SLEEP. >> YEAH.

I THINK I NEED SOME SLEEP. >> YEAH. >> BULLSHIT!

>> YEAH. >> BULLSHIT! >> ( shouts )

>> BULLSHIT! >> ( shouts ) ( laughter and cheering )

>> ( shouts ) ( laughter and cheering ) ( rock music playing )

>> YOU'RE GOING DOWN. YOU'RE GOING DOWN, BOYS! YOU'RE ALL GOING DOWN!

YOU'RE GOING DOWN, BOYS! YOU'RE ALL GOING DOWN! WHOO!

>> YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT, MEAT!

>> STAY AMAZING. STAY AMAZING. ( laughs )

HURRY UP, I'M OVERDICKED OUT HERE. ( rock music playing )