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1
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SEAGULLS CALL
2
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- Is he really here?
- He is, yeah.
3
00:00:45,932 --> 00:00:48,777
Do you think he got my letter
at the North Pole?
4
00:00:48,778 --> 00:00:50,098
Of course he did.
5
00:00:50,138 --> 00:00:52,778
Daddy, did you write him a letter?
6
00:00:52,818 --> 00:00:54,978
- Er, no. I didn't, James, no.
- Oh.
7
00:00:56,036 --> 00:00:57,763
Oh, look at that.
8
00:00:57,788 --> 00:01:01,166
Haven't they done a wonderful job
with the tree this year?
9
00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:04,671
CAROLLERS:♪ Good King Wenceslas
Looked out on the Feast of Stephen
10
00:01:04,818 --> 00:01:08,610
♪ When the snow lay round about
Deep and crisp and even... ♪
11
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,075
TURKEY GOBBLES
12
00:01:10,513 --> 00:01:13,146
Hey, fancy guessing the weight
of the turkey, Doc?
13
00:01:13,171 --> 00:01:15,418
- One pound, two guesses.
- No.
14
00:01:15,458 --> 00:01:19,323
He's very friendly. Turns out
turkeys got a lot of personality.
15
00:01:19,348 --> 00:01:22,410
Hm. Make sure you wash your hands.
They're filthy.
16
00:01:22,411 --> 00:01:24,018
TURKEY GOBBLES
17
00:01:24,058 --> 00:01:26,298
CAROLLERS CONTINUE
18
00:01:27,778 --> 00:01:30,258
Has there always been Christmas?
19
00:01:30,313 --> 00:01:31,609
- Yeah.
- Er, no.
20
00:01:31,610 --> 00:01:33,458
Well, not ALWAYS always.
21
00:01:33,498 --> 00:01:35,338
No, it used to be called
the Winter Solstice,
22
00:01:35,378 --> 00:01:36,498
but in the fourth century,
23
00:01:36,538 --> 00:01:39,378
Pope Julius chose
the 25th of December for Christmas
24
00:01:39,418 --> 00:01:42,633
because he wanted to replace
the pagan Saturnalia festival.
25
00:01:42,658 --> 00:01:44,101
James!
26
00:01:44,715 --> 00:01:46,938
- Jenny.
- Hi!
27
00:01:46,978 --> 00:01:49,778
- Mm, delicious!
- Careful, Doc!
28
00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:52,178
Another inch,
you're under the mistletoe.
29
00:01:52,218 --> 00:01:55,040
Anyone who wanted
could lay a smacker on you.
30
00:01:55,041 --> 00:01:56,764
- SHE GULPS
- What?
31
00:01:57,178 --> 00:01:59,101
Mrs Tishell...
32
00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:03,178
No, I'm fine, Doc. I'm just fine.
33
00:02:04,498 --> 00:02:06,418
It's so nice to see you here, Doc.
34
00:02:06,458 --> 00:02:08,058
How long has this food been outside?
35
00:02:08,098 --> 00:02:09,618
Only since this morning.
36
00:02:09,658 --> 00:02:12,461
You should wear a hair net.
It's unhygienic.
37
00:02:12,738 --> 00:02:15,938
CAROLLERS:♪ Nine ladies dancing
Eight maids a-milking
38
00:02:15,978 --> 00:02:18,738
♪ Seven swans a-swimming
Six geese a-laying
39
00:02:18,793 --> 00:02:23,033
♪ Five gold rings... ♪
40
00:02:23,204 --> 00:02:25,444
I think that's my favourite song.
41
00:02:25,469 --> 00:02:27,858
Yeah, as Christmas ones go,
it's all right.
42
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:31,133
No, not my favourite Christmas song.
My favourite song ever.
43
00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:34,578
This guy buys this girl
all these amazing gifts.
44
00:02:34,618 --> 00:02:37,338
Five gold rings, four calling birds,
45
00:02:37,603 --> 00:02:41,393
three French men... It's so romantic.
46
00:02:41,905 --> 00:02:43,606
I got you some eggnog.
47
00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:45,727
Oh, yeah, thanks.
48
00:02:46,984 --> 00:02:48,341
Happy Christmas!
49
00:02:48,366 --> 00:02:50,218
Oh, hello, James! Ha-ha.
50
00:02:50,258 --> 00:02:52,204
Are you here to see Santa?
51
00:02:52,738 --> 00:02:54,338
That'll be £10, please, Doc.
52
00:02:54,378 --> 00:02:55,602
- £10?
- Yeah.
53
00:02:55,603 --> 00:02:57,618
Oh... It's fine. Thanks.
54
00:02:57,658 --> 00:02:59,060
Thank you.
55
00:02:59,755 --> 00:03:01,433
£10, really (!)
56
00:03:01,904 --> 00:03:03,396
Merry Christmas, Doc.
57
00:03:03,938 --> 00:03:06,158
And what do you want for Christmas?
58
00:03:06,159 --> 00:03:09,481
Oh, an actual list. Excellent.
59
00:03:09,506 --> 00:03:11,698
- Ho-ho-ho-ho!
- Laura, look this way.
60
00:03:11,738 --> 00:03:13,858
And here's your present.
61
00:03:13,898 --> 00:03:15,099
Yeah, don't forget.
62
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:17,418
Merry Christmas. Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
63
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,898
- Urgh, look at him.
- Martin.
64
00:03:22,618 --> 00:03:24,578
He keeps scratching.
65
00:03:24,618 --> 00:03:26,058
What, Santa?
66
00:03:26,098 --> 00:03:28,098
Well, he's probably just hot
under the lights.
67
00:03:28,138 --> 00:03:30,658
- Disgusting!
- Oi, Doc, move up.
68
00:03:30,698 --> 00:03:33,578
Ah, what do we have here?
69
00:03:33,618 --> 00:03:37,498
A smartly dressed young man
with a very nice tie.
70
00:03:37,538 --> 00:03:39,458
Did you tie that yourself?
71
00:03:39,498 --> 00:03:41,149
How wonderful.
72
00:03:41,150 --> 00:03:42,898
And what do you want for Christmas?
73
00:03:42,938 --> 00:03:45,258
- Look, don't, Martin.
- Excuse me.
74
00:03:45,298 --> 00:03:47,938
I'm afraid you'll
have to join the queue, big boy.
75
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:50,138
You keep scratching.
Is there something wrong?
76
00:03:50,178 --> 00:03:53,549
Santa's got a new costume
and the material's a bit itchy.
77
00:03:53,581 --> 00:03:55,946
Now, come and tell Santa
what you want for Christmas.
78
00:03:55,978 --> 00:03:57,658
Uh-uh, no. Don't go any closer.
79
00:03:57,698 --> 00:03:59,298
He could be contagious. Let me see.
80
00:03:59,338 --> 00:04:01,778
- You're being ridiculous.
- Show me, please.
81
00:04:03,318 --> 00:04:06,738
- Doc, you're holding up the line!
- Leave Santa alone!
82
00:04:06,778 --> 00:04:09,418
- Leave it, Martin.
- Excuse me, what's the hold-up?
83
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,738
Here, Doc, you're gonna
have to come out of there.
84
00:04:11,778 --> 00:04:14,271
This man has a potentially
infectious disease.
85
00:04:14,272 --> 00:04:17,578
That rash could be shingles,
erysipelas or scabies.
86
00:04:17,618 --> 00:04:19,898
A virus, a bacteria or a parasite.
87
00:04:19,938 --> 00:04:22,178
Do you really want to infect
your children? Do you?
88
00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:24,378
- Right, I want you to come with me.
- Seriously?
89
00:04:24,418 --> 00:04:26,978
Seriously. Come with me.
You need to fumigate this place.
90
00:04:27,018 --> 00:04:28,898
Doc, I think you're over-reacting,
just a tad.
91
00:04:28,938 --> 00:04:31,938
- Shut it down. Come on.
- Sorry, he does mean well.
92
00:04:31,978 --> 00:04:34,538
Right, you heard what the doc said.
Everybody out.
93
00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:37,498
Come on now. Out you go.
I'm sorry, no returns.
94
00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:40,618
- That's what I said, no returns.
- I'm sorry, don't be sad.
95
00:04:40,658 --> 00:04:42,938
We'll come back next year.
96
00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:45,618
There'll be other Santas, other grottos.
97
00:04:47,098 --> 00:04:49,258
You get on the examination table,
please.
98
00:04:49,298 --> 00:04:51,258
Take off your boot
and roll up your trouser leg.
99
00:04:53,201 --> 00:04:56,058
- How long have you had this for?
- A week or so.
100
00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:59,142
I'm sorry, I can't hear what you're
saying. Take that beard off.
101
00:05:04,146 --> 00:05:06,978
Probably allergic to the material
in the costume.
102
00:05:07,018 --> 00:05:08,898
Do you have a history of allergies?
103
00:05:08,938 --> 00:05:12,264
No. Do you have a history
of ruining Christmas?
104
00:05:12,658 --> 00:05:14,098
I didn't ruin Christmas.
105
00:05:14,138 --> 00:05:17,265
All those traumatised children
who saw you drag away Santa
106
00:05:17,290 --> 00:05:18,843
might well disagree on that.
107
00:05:18,868 --> 00:05:20,818
It doesn't look like
an allergic reaction to me.
108
00:05:20,858 --> 00:05:23,801
- I'll do a punch biopsy.
- A biopsy?
109
00:05:23,978 --> 00:05:26,138
Won't I have to go to hospital for that?
110
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:28,953
Er, no. This has a blade which removes
111
00:05:28,978 --> 00:05:31,578
a small plug of skin through
the epidermis and the dermis,
112
00:05:31,618 --> 00:05:33,098
into the subcutaneous fat below.
113
00:05:33,138 --> 00:05:36,938
- Do you have any other symptoms?
- At my age, there's always something.
114
00:05:36,978 --> 00:05:39,285
Aches and pains, wear and tear.
115
00:05:39,818 --> 00:05:44,218
I lost some weight. Stomach's been
a bit dodgy. Probably nerves.
116
00:05:44,258 --> 00:05:45,214
Nerves?
117
00:05:45,215 --> 00:05:49,298
My job is to bring joy and wonder
to the children of Portwenn.
118
00:05:49,338 --> 00:05:50,858
I take that seriously.
119
00:05:50,898 --> 00:05:53,898
- Do you suffer from fatigue?
- I don't suffer, Doc.
120
00:05:53,938 --> 00:05:55,316
I enjoy the work.
121
00:05:55,858 --> 00:05:58,738
But, yes, it does take a lot
out of me, I suppose.
122
00:05:58,778 --> 00:06:02,299
Right, I'll take a blood sample,
check if you're anaemic or not.
123
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:06,098
Poke away. So long as it lets me
get back out there and do my job.
124
00:06:06,138 --> 00:06:08,338
Er, no, you're not to mix
with children, I'm afraid.
125
00:06:08,378 --> 00:06:10,738
Until we've discovered
if you're infectious or not.
126
00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:16,978
I-I've got a big surprise lined up
for the village on Christmas Eve.
127
00:06:17,018 --> 00:06:18,538
I really don't wanna let folk down.
128
00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:21,418
I'm sorry, you're not going anywhere
until we have your test results.
129
00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:23,179
I should have the blood
available tomorrow
130
00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:25,858
and the biopsy sometime next week.
131
00:06:25,921 --> 00:06:27,920
Not a fan of Christmas, are you?
132
00:06:28,086 --> 00:06:30,153
I don't have any feelings about it
either way.
133
00:06:30,178 --> 00:06:32,138
Doesn't come across my desk.
134
00:06:33,298 --> 00:06:37,018
Somebody needs to show you
the true magic of the season, Doc.
135
00:06:37,058 --> 00:06:39,778
I'm sure they do, thank you.
And we're finished for now.
136
00:06:46,048 --> 00:06:47,898
Close the door on your way out, please.
137
00:06:59,524 --> 00:07:01,204
How are you?
138
00:07:01,236 --> 00:07:03,924
Is Santa angry at us?
139
00:07:04,127 --> 00:07:06,498
No, of course not.
140
00:07:06,538 --> 00:07:09,576
I didn't get to meet him.
141
00:07:09,790 --> 00:07:13,487
I'm sorry. It's such a shame.
142
00:07:15,289 --> 00:07:16,929
Here, come and sit down.
143
00:07:20,338 --> 00:07:21,808
Aw...
144
00:07:21,978 --> 00:07:24,545
You know, when I was your age,
145
00:07:24,546 --> 00:07:27,098
Portwenn used to have
a lantern parade on Christmas Eve.
146
00:07:27,138 --> 00:07:28,772
And it was so lovely.
147
00:07:28,797 --> 00:07:31,058
All these lights
would be coming down the hill,
148
00:07:31,098 --> 00:07:33,098
with Santa Claus at the front.
149
00:07:33,138 --> 00:07:35,258
Can we do that?
150
00:07:35,962 --> 00:07:41,346
Well, no, cos someone would need
to arrange and organise it.
151
00:07:41,371 --> 00:07:44,191
- You could.
- Oh, I didn't mean me.
152
00:07:44,192 --> 00:07:47,067
And I could get to meet Santa.
153
00:07:47,171 --> 00:07:48,738
Well, yeah, you could,
154
00:07:48,778 --> 00:07:51,418
but it's Christmas Eve tomorrow, so...
155
00:07:51,458 --> 00:07:52,938
Please.
156
00:07:54,369 --> 00:07:56,839
..so I suppose
I'd better get a move on, right?
157
00:07:56,864 --> 00:07:58,338
Yes.
158
00:08:02,243 --> 00:08:04,218
Tomorrow? That's short notice.
159
00:08:04,258 --> 00:08:07,298
I just want James to have
a Christmas he won't forget.
160
00:08:07,338 --> 00:08:10,978
You know, I have all these
happy memories of it as a child.
161
00:08:11,025 --> 00:08:13,545
You know, the parade and the lights.
162
00:08:13,578 --> 00:08:15,978
And I still remember the little
red bike my father gave me
163
00:08:16,018 --> 00:08:17,218
when I was four.
164
00:08:17,258 --> 00:08:20,098
- Yes, probably stolen.
- Martin!
165
00:08:20,138 --> 00:08:22,378
PHONE RINGS
166
00:08:26,556 --> 00:08:27,728
Ellingham.
167
00:08:28,378 --> 00:08:29,445
Yes.
168
00:08:30,098 --> 00:08:31,258
I am.
169
00:08:35,018 --> 00:08:36,007
Ah...
170
00:08:36,658 --> 00:08:37,978
I see.
171
00:08:39,848 --> 00:08:40,891
Right.
172
00:08:41,778 --> 00:08:43,338
When would that be?
173
00:08:45,121 --> 00:08:47,641
Yes. I see.
174
00:08:49,298 --> 00:08:50,418
Thank you.
175
00:08:52,853 --> 00:08:54,013
Everything OK?
176
00:08:55,818 --> 00:08:58,938
Er, that was the, er,
London Royal Hospital.
177
00:09:00,218 --> 00:09:03,058
My mother died of a heart attack
at 11 o'clock this morning.
178
00:09:05,574 --> 00:09:07,094
Oh, Martin...
179
00:09:09,698 --> 00:09:10,978
I'm so sorry.
180
00:09:14,058 --> 00:09:15,978
I should tell Ruth, I suppose.
181
00:09:17,498 --> 00:09:19,338
After lunch, maybe.
182
00:09:22,538 --> 00:09:23,978
Come here.
183
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:32,698
It's... I don't want the fish
to get dry.
184
00:09:44,502 --> 00:09:46,782
There goes the Grinch.
CHUCKLING
185
00:09:46,822 --> 00:09:48,582
- Thanks for ruining Christmas!
- Tosser!
186
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,782
- Tosser!
- Tosser!
187
00:09:55,702 --> 00:09:57,302
KNOCK AT DOOR
188
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:04,118
- Hello, Martin. Come in.
- Thank you.
189
00:10:04,158 --> 00:10:09,038
You'll have to forgive me.
I'm experimenting with eggnog.
190
00:10:11,118 --> 00:10:12,438
What is it?
191
00:10:12,996 --> 00:10:16,846
Er, my mother suffered a
heart attack this morning and died.
192
00:10:17,389 --> 00:10:19,291
Oh, dear.
193
00:10:19,718 --> 00:10:22,180
- I'm sorry to hear that.
- Mm.
194
00:10:22,558 --> 00:10:23,718
Erm...
195
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,758
Oh, when will the funeral be?
196
00:10:25,798 --> 00:10:28,084
Sometime between Christmas
and the new year.
197
00:10:29,319 --> 00:10:32,001
May I ask how you're feeling?
198
00:10:32,809 --> 00:10:35,558
Erm, I'm-I'm fine.
We weren't very close.
199
00:10:35,598 --> 00:10:37,238
She was your mother.
200
00:10:37,278 --> 00:10:39,175
She stole my clock.
201
00:10:39,518 --> 00:10:41,758
Don't be too hard on yourself, Martin.
202
00:10:43,438 --> 00:10:46,078
Grief has a way
of stealing up on us all,
203
00:10:46,118 --> 00:10:48,118
even when we think we're free of it.
204
00:10:48,158 --> 00:10:50,358
Honestly, I'm fine.
205
00:10:50,398 --> 00:10:51,838
Poor Margaret.
206
00:10:53,269 --> 00:10:57,029
I always hoped that she'd become
the mother that you deserved, but...
207
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:01,223
Oh, well, I won't speak ill of the dead.
208
00:11:03,116 --> 00:11:05,960
She was an awful woman
and a terrible mother.
209
00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:08,242
I thought
you weren't going to speak ill.
210
00:11:08,685 --> 00:11:10,358
I was being polite.
211
00:11:17,478 --> 00:11:18,558
'How much?'
212
00:11:19,958 --> 00:11:21,438
No, but seriously.
213
00:11:22,457 --> 00:11:24,697
Look, I know it's short notice, but...
214
00:11:25,878 --> 00:11:27,398
I'm gonna have to call you back.
215
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:31,398
Hello, Louisa. What can I do for you?
216
00:11:31,438 --> 00:11:35,278
Joe, you've, er,
got a little something on your face.
217
00:11:35,333 --> 00:11:38,165
It's for, erm, undercover work.
218
00:11:38,829 --> 00:11:40,930
Well, I'm here because
I'd like to organise
219
00:11:40,955 --> 00:11:42,798
a lantern parade for tomorrow.
220
00:11:42,838 --> 00:11:45,438
A lantern parade?
Haven't had one of those for years.
221
00:11:45,478 --> 00:11:48,142
Unfortunately, from a police standpoint,
222
00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:49,647
tomorrow's just not possible.
223
00:11:49,687 --> 00:11:52,887
- Oh... Oh, that's a shame.
- Mm.
224
00:11:52,927 --> 00:11:56,210
Because I was gonna ask you
to be Santa and lead the parade.
225
00:11:56,235 --> 00:11:59,193
Well, when I say not possible,
I mean not...
226
00:11:59,795 --> 00:12:01,834
NOT possible.
227
00:12:02,057 --> 00:12:04,298
So it... it is possible?
228
00:12:04,299 --> 00:12:06,463
I'm here to help. What do we need?
229
00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:08,687
Well, we need lanterns. About 40 or 50.
230
00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:11,701
- No problem. I'll talk to Bert.
- Great. And can you spread the word?
231
00:12:11,702 --> 00:12:15,287
Just to confirm,
I shall be playing Santa Claus
232
00:12:15,327 --> 00:12:16,527
and leading the parade?
233
00:12:16,567 --> 00:12:18,889
- Yeah.
- Wonderful.
234
00:12:19,237 --> 00:12:23,148
You know, between you and me,
it's not really for undercover work.
235
00:12:24,733 --> 00:12:27,707
I know. I can see your costume
hanging up at the back.
236
00:12:27,807 --> 00:12:31,284
Ha, very good.
You should be a policeman.
237
00:12:31,285 --> 00:12:34,247
HUMMING A TUNE
238
00:12:44,927 --> 00:12:47,327
SHE GULPS
239
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:50,247
GAGGING
240
00:12:52,179 --> 00:12:54,759
Mrs Tishell, I've come
to pick up my medical supplies
241
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,357
for the holiday period.
242
00:12:57,615 --> 00:13:00,464
What are you doing? Mrs Tishell?
243
00:13:00,767 --> 00:13:02,278
You're choking.
244
00:13:02,279 --> 00:13:03,388
Turn round.
245
00:13:11,127 --> 00:13:14,528
- Got it?
- Oh... Oh...
246
00:13:14,568 --> 00:13:16,836
- Right, just let go.
- Oh, thank you, Doctor.
247
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,567
Let go. Let go of my arms.
248
00:13:18,607 --> 00:13:21,030
HOARSELY: Oh, thank you, Doctor.
It went down the wrong way.
249
00:13:22,746 --> 00:13:24,712
You were choking before as well.
250
00:13:24,713 --> 00:13:27,687
Well, I-I-I do need
to take more care in future.
251
00:13:27,727 --> 00:13:29,069
Why is your voice hoarse?
252
00:13:29,070 --> 00:13:32,847
Cos I was singing carols yesterday.
You saved my life, Doctor.
253
00:13:32,887 --> 00:13:35,038
- Come here into the light.
- Oh...
254
00:13:37,469 --> 00:13:40,309
Mmm... Mm, mm, mm!
255
00:13:41,727 --> 00:13:42,967
No, no, no!
256
00:13:43,007 --> 00:13:45,235
- But the mistletoe...!
- No!
257
00:13:45,236 --> 00:13:47,100
No, I'll come and collect
my supplies later.
258
00:13:47,101 --> 00:13:49,127
I'm sorry, Doc! I-I had to.
259
00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:51,349
Cos this might be my last...
260
00:13:51,687 --> 00:13:53,454
my last Christmas.
261
00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:00,207
- There you go, John.
- Cheers, Bert. Merry Christmas.
262
00:14:01,190 --> 00:14:05,230
I know the doc has a job to do,
but so do I.
263
00:14:05,607 --> 00:14:08,967
And it's not fair, you know?
It's just not fair.
264
00:14:09,007 --> 00:14:11,447
Yes, we know.
You keep on saying, Leonard.
265
00:14:11,487 --> 00:14:15,087
- Sorry. Don't mean to go on about it.
- It's all right.
266
00:14:15,127 --> 00:14:17,727
If you can't go to your local
for a drink and a moan,
267
00:14:17,767 --> 00:14:20,727
where can you go?
It's good to see you in here again.
268
00:14:20,767 --> 00:14:22,034
It's been a while.
269
00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:24,470
It's the children I feel sorry for.
270
00:14:24,471 --> 00:14:26,942
It's a bit of magic in their lives.
271
00:14:27,407 --> 00:14:29,287
Takes me months to make these.
272
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:32,156
I don't blame the doc.
273
00:14:32,807 --> 00:14:35,310
No, he's to be pitied.
274
00:14:35,527 --> 00:14:37,647
He just...
275
00:14:37,687 --> 00:14:39,584
He just doesn't get it.
276
00:14:39,967 --> 00:14:43,847
But don't worry, Santa isn't done yet.
277
00:14:43,887 --> 00:14:45,614
Oh!
278
00:14:45,847 --> 00:14:48,287
I think Santa's done for the day
at least.
279
00:14:48,327 --> 00:14:50,807
Best go home and sleep it off, eh?
280
00:14:50,847 --> 00:14:53,844
- This isn't like you.
- Do you need me to call you a taxi?
281
00:14:53,869 --> 00:14:55,694
No, it's OK.
282
00:14:55,939 --> 00:14:57,692
I've got a sleigh.
283
00:14:58,470 --> 00:15:01,036
- Sorry, she kissed you?
- Yeah.
284
00:15:01,383 --> 00:15:02,650
On the cheek or...?
285
00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:04,912
No, no, no. On the...
Smack on the mouth.
286
00:15:04,913 --> 00:15:07,666
- Maybe she was aiming for the cheek.
- No, she wasn't.
287
00:15:07,667 --> 00:15:08,949
It was quite shocking.
288
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,647
And there was this peculiar
metallic tang,
289
00:15:11,687 --> 00:15:13,007
which didn't make it any better.
290
00:15:13,047 --> 00:15:14,980
I'm not sure I wanna know
all the details now, thank you.
291
00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:16,550
Oh, I don't blame you.
292
00:15:16,982 --> 00:15:20,607
- Did she say why she did it?
- Something about mistletoe.
293
00:15:20,647 --> 00:15:22,047
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
294
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,927
I've brushed my teeth
and I'm ready for bed.
295
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,565
Oh, would you like me
to come and read to you?
296
00:15:26,566 --> 00:15:28,487
- No.
- It's the new one.
297
00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:30,007
I said NO.
298
00:15:30,047 --> 00:15:32,505
James, you don't raise your voice
to your father.
299
00:15:32,530 --> 00:15:33,853
LOW RUMBLING,
STONES CLATTERING
300
00:15:33,854 --> 00:15:36,153
- What is that?!
- Oh, my God!
301
00:15:36,154 --> 00:15:39,847
- THUDDING - It's coming from upstairs.
302
00:15:39,887 --> 00:15:42,407
- It's on the roof.
- It's Santa Claus!
303
00:15:42,447 --> 00:15:43,837
Don't be ridiculous.
304
00:15:43,838 --> 00:15:45,647
DOG BARKING
305
00:15:45,687 --> 00:15:48,019
Ho-ho-ho!
306
00:15:49,140 --> 00:15:51,388
What are you doing up there?!
307
00:15:51,457 --> 00:15:54,630
I'm showing you the magic of Christmas!
308
00:15:54,806 --> 00:15:56,633
Well, get down, right now.
309
00:15:56,634 --> 00:15:59,505
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
310
00:15:59,727 --> 00:16:03,087
What's going on? I saw the commotion
from The Platt. Wait, is that...?
311
00:16:03,127 --> 00:16:05,007
It's Santa Claus!
312
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,788
Well, maybe to the untrained eye.
313
00:16:06,789 --> 00:16:08,575
You need to get up there
and get that man down.
314
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:11,136
He is drunk, he's a danger
to himself and my property.
315
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:14,647
- Follow me.
- Please don't hurt Santa.
316
00:16:15,657 --> 00:16:18,217
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
317
00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:28,574
All right, Leonard?
318
00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:30,876
That's not my name.
319
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,031
All right... Santa?
320
00:16:33,268 --> 00:16:35,929
Why don't you just come over here
321
00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:38,567
- nice and slowly...?
- Is he coming?
322
00:16:38,607 --> 00:16:42,807
That man needs to learn
the true meaning of Christmas.
323
00:16:42,847 --> 00:16:45,527
Oh, he just wants to teach you
the true meaning of Christmas.
324
00:16:45,567 --> 00:16:47,879
No, get back up there, go and get him!
325
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,247
OK, OK. Ah, ah...
326
00:16:55,771 --> 00:16:57,131
Ah...
327
00:16:57,171 --> 00:17:01,371
Well... unless
the true meaning of Christmas
328
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:04,251
is that he's gonna
get his chimney blocked,
329
00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:05,949
I suggest...
330
00:17:06,491 --> 00:17:09,377
Oh, that's a big drop!
331
00:17:10,531 --> 00:17:14,189
It could... It could
make you feel a bit, a bit...
332
00:17:14,211 --> 00:17:16,589
Whoa!
PANTING
333
00:17:16,590 --> 00:17:18,811
Don't let go, Leonard!
334
00:17:18,851 --> 00:17:20,534
That's not my name!
335
00:17:20,575 --> 00:17:22,451
Santa! Don't let go, Santa!
336
00:17:22,491 --> 00:17:24,386
- I won't.
- HE GRUNTS
337
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:25,813
Oh, God.
338
00:17:25,814 --> 00:17:28,934
- Oh, oh, oh...
- Argh...
339
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,331
- Whoops.
- Oh, don't say whoops! Argh!
340
00:17:32,371 --> 00:17:34,164
Ah, ah, ah...
341
00:17:35,131 --> 00:17:37,491
Thanks, Doc. It wasn't me.
342
00:17:37,546 --> 00:17:41,371
It was just everything
started moving. I went dizzy.
343
00:17:41,396 --> 00:17:42,797
It's vertigo.
344
00:17:42,822 --> 00:17:45,371
And you're drunk and a disgrace.
Come down.
345
00:17:45,411 --> 00:17:47,251
Merry Christmas, Doc!
346
00:17:52,011 --> 00:17:54,611
- What on Earth were you thinking of?
- Sorry, Doc.
347
00:17:54,651 --> 00:17:57,731
I suppose I get a bit emotional
this time of the year.
348
00:17:57,771 --> 00:17:59,786
I had a few drinks.
349
00:18:00,091 --> 00:18:03,411
- Normally don't touch the stuff.
- A few drinks? You're drunk.
350
00:18:03,451 --> 00:18:04,851
It was only two.
351
00:18:04,891 --> 00:18:07,331
Really? Well, you must have
a very low tolerance for alcohol.
352
00:18:07,371 --> 00:18:08,931
I suggest you keep avoiding it.
353
00:18:08,971 --> 00:18:12,250
That was incredibly irresponsible.
The harm you could've done yourself
354
00:18:12,251 --> 00:18:14,571
or Penhale. Not to mention my family.
355
00:18:14,611 --> 00:18:16,451
Lucky I was there to save you.
356
00:18:16,491 --> 00:18:19,171
Right, come on, I'll drive you home.
357
00:18:21,811 --> 00:18:24,385
At least your son got to see Santa.
358
00:18:24,410 --> 00:18:26,451
Yes, if he'd been really lucky,
he'd have seen Santa
359
00:18:26,491 --> 00:18:28,331
fall off the roof and break his neck.
360
00:18:34,171 --> 00:18:35,251
James...
361
00:18:38,855 --> 00:18:40,055
HE SIGHS
362
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,375
Look what Santa brought...
363
00:19:17,806 --> 00:19:19,246
Hello?
364
00:19:20,406 --> 00:19:21,406
Hello?
365
00:19:21,446 --> 00:19:27,926
DOG BARKS, GROWLS
366
00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:29,304
DOG BARKS
367
00:19:29,305 --> 00:19:31,092
No! Ow!
368
00:19:31,093 --> 00:19:33,086
Out, out, OUT!
369
00:19:33,126 --> 00:19:35,526
- Why is it in here?
- I wonder what's wrong.
370
00:19:35,581 --> 00:19:38,950
It's a dog. That's what's wrong.
It's always barking.
371
00:19:38,975 --> 00:19:40,886
No, it's-it's not always barking.
372
00:19:40,926 --> 00:19:42,770
And it's never at this time
in the morning.
373
00:19:44,614 --> 00:19:46,446
BARKING CONTINUES
374
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:48,046
- Martin?
- Yes.
375
00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:50,784
- James has gone!
- What? Where?
376
00:19:50,809 --> 00:19:54,206
I don't know, he's left this note.
It says he's gone to the North Pole.
377
00:19:54,246 --> 00:19:58,006
Oh, James is a smart, sensible boy,
he wouldn't do that.
378
00:19:58,046 --> 00:20:00,246
He's not in his room and
you're literally holding a note
379
00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:02,545
- saying he's gone.
- All right, I'll get dressed
380
00:20:02,570 --> 00:20:03,470
and we'll go and find him.
381
00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:05,486
Yeah, maybe he's just
hiding in the house somewhere.
382
00:20:05,518 --> 00:20:08,478
James, James! Come on, hurry up. James!
383
00:20:09,373 --> 00:20:11,017
He's never done
anything like this before.
384
00:20:11,042 --> 00:20:12,726
I think it's cos
his head's been filled with
385
00:20:12,766 --> 00:20:14,486
all this Father Christmas stuff.
386
00:20:14,526 --> 00:20:17,851
Well, you're the one who practically
dragged Santa out the grotto,
387
00:20:17,876 --> 00:20:19,532
then shouted at him yesterday.
388
00:20:19,557 --> 00:20:21,486
Well, he was on our roof!
389
00:20:21,526 --> 00:20:23,366
But James doesn't get that. He just..
390
00:20:23,406 --> 00:20:26,827
- He just sees you ruining Christmas.
- I'm not ruining Christmas!
391
00:20:26,852 --> 00:20:29,326
Is it so bad that he might enjoy it?
392
00:20:29,366 --> 00:20:32,406
Even you must have some
happy memories of it as a child.
393
00:20:32,446 --> 00:20:34,177
No, I don't. MOBILE PHONE RINGS
394
00:20:34,178 --> 00:20:37,475
Well, isn't that a good reason
to make sure that James and Mary do?
395
00:20:37,966 --> 00:20:39,243
Ruth.
396
00:20:40,646 --> 00:20:41,752
Yes.
397
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:43,606
We're on our way.
398
00:20:43,646 --> 00:20:45,366
She's got him.
She's giving him breakfast.
399
00:20:45,406 --> 00:20:48,126
Oh, thank goodness.
Right, but I'll pick him up.
400
00:20:48,166 --> 00:20:50,566
I'm sorry, Martin, it's just
that under the circumstances,
401
00:20:50,606 --> 00:20:52,816
I think it's better
that I go there alone.
402
00:20:53,406 --> 00:20:54,404
Right.
403
00:20:57,626 --> 00:20:59,746
DOG BARKS
404
00:21:00,966 --> 00:21:02,046
Shut up.
405
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:17,006
Oh, good morning, Doc.
Oh, you're all wet.
406
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,121
I want to talk about yesterday.
407
00:21:19,488 --> 00:21:22,105
Oh, s... Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm very sorry.
408
00:21:22,106 --> 00:21:27,186
Erm, I know it was unprofessional
and that you're probably very angry.
409
00:21:27,630 --> 00:21:31,510
Unless you're not... and you want
to suggest that we elope together,
410
00:21:31,535 --> 00:21:34,346
- slipping away into the night...
- No. No. No!
411
00:21:35,353 --> 00:21:38,201
When you forced your mouth
against mine yesterday,
412
00:21:38,226 --> 00:21:40,106
I noticed a strong acidic taste.
413
00:21:40,146 --> 00:21:42,946
And yesterday I saw you choke twice,
on two different occasions.
414
00:21:42,986 --> 00:21:44,626
Also, your voice is very hoarse.
415
00:21:44,666 --> 00:21:46,661
Well that's cos I've been
singing carols.
416
00:21:46,686 --> 00:21:49,866
And I am sorry,
but I have to close for lunch.
417
00:21:49,906 --> 00:21:51,266
It's 8:15 in the morning.
418
00:21:52,141 --> 00:21:54,706
Well, I'm... I'm not ill, Doctor.
419
00:21:54,746 --> 00:21:56,946
Do you get a sensation
like there's a lump in your throat
420
00:21:56,986 --> 00:21:58,732
- when you swallow?
- No.
421
00:21:58,733 --> 00:22:02,566
No, because that would be
very worrying if I thought that...
422
00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:04,863
Yes.
423
00:22:05,315 --> 00:22:07,520
You can read me like a book, Doctor.
424
00:22:07,521 --> 00:22:09,765
Hmm. Let me take a look.
425
00:22:11,266 --> 00:22:12,826
Ah, oh...
426
00:22:16,459 --> 00:22:18,943
I first noticed it
a couple of weeks ago.
427
00:22:19,032 --> 00:22:21,346
And I feel something
every time I swallow.
428
00:22:21,386 --> 00:22:25,619
An enlarged lymph node.
I know what that means, Doctor.
429
00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:28,306
Stop talking. Open your mouth
and tilt your head back.
430
00:22:28,587 --> 00:22:29,987
Don't try to kiss me.
431
00:22:31,786 --> 00:22:32,932
- Ahh!
- Swallow.
432
00:22:32,933 --> 00:22:36,266
- SHE GULPS
- Yes. You have GORD.
433
00:22:36,267 --> 00:22:38,427
Gastroesophageal reflux disease.
434
00:22:38,428 --> 00:22:41,106
I'll prescribe Omeprazole,
but we should keep an eye on it.
435
00:22:41,146 --> 00:22:43,306
Chronic inflammation
of the oesophagus over time
436
00:22:43,346 --> 00:22:46,026
could lead to more serious
complications and damage.
437
00:22:46,778 --> 00:22:50,342
What, so, basically...
438
00:22:50,866 --> 00:22:52,346
heartburn?
439
00:22:52,394 --> 00:22:54,537
- Yes.
- I'm not dying?
440
00:22:54,562 --> 00:22:56,506
No, not yet. Hold still.
441
00:23:00,506 --> 00:23:02,786
Mm. Normal movement.
442
00:23:02,826 --> 00:23:04,826
Your prolapsed disc must have healed.
443
00:23:04,866 --> 00:23:06,666
You don't need to wear
the neck brace any more.
444
00:23:06,706 --> 00:23:09,426
Oh, I-I-I think
just to be on the safe side...
445
00:23:09,466 --> 00:23:11,386
There is no safe side.
You just don't need to.
446
00:23:11,426 --> 00:23:15,706
Maybe just pop it back on
for a few minutes. Not more, I-I...
447
00:23:15,746 --> 00:23:17,546
If you have an issue with taking it off,
448
00:23:17,586 --> 00:23:20,066
then I can refer you to
a clinical psychologist if you like.
449
00:23:21,098 --> 00:23:23,817
No. There's no need for that.
450
00:23:24,746 --> 00:23:26,626
Consider it gone.
451
00:23:27,752 --> 00:23:31,377
And thank you, Doctor, for your
infinite patience and understanding.
452
00:23:31,506 --> 00:23:32,626
Yes.
453
00:23:53,534 --> 00:23:55,184
Medical supplies, please.
454
00:23:55,653 --> 00:23:57,133
Yes, Doctor.
455
00:24:01,954 --> 00:24:03,194
Thank you.
456
00:24:08,706 --> 00:24:10,866
I was just coming back
from the newsagents
457
00:24:10,906 --> 00:24:13,066
and I saw him strolling down the street.
458
00:24:13,106 --> 00:24:15,466
I managed to persuade him
to have some breakfast
459
00:24:15,513 --> 00:24:18,913
before he continued his journey
to the North Pole.
460
00:24:18,946 --> 00:24:22,066
WEATHER REPORT ON TV:
'..freezing conditions, sub-zero.
461
00:24:22,106 --> 00:24:24,604
'And you can see there's
a strong band of low pressure...'
462
00:24:24,605 --> 00:24:27,254
What you did was very wrong, James.
463
00:24:27,457 --> 00:24:30,221
You can't just go walking off like that.
464
00:24:30,222 --> 00:24:32,746
Mummy and Daddy were very worried.
465
00:24:32,786 --> 00:24:35,978
'..with a good chance of some snow
on the higher ground.
466
00:24:36,003 --> 00:24:37,268
'And that's gonna give some of us
in Cornwall...'
467
00:24:37,346 --> 00:24:38,466
It says it might snow.
468
00:24:38,506 --> 00:24:39,428
'..a white Christmas...'
469
00:24:39,429 --> 00:24:41,746
You won't need to go to
the North Pole now, will you?
470
00:24:41,786 --> 00:24:44,306
Doesn't matter. I hate Christmas!
471
00:24:44,346 --> 00:24:45,906
He's just like his father.
472
00:24:45,946 --> 00:24:47,732
Well, no. No, he's not, Ruth.
473
00:24:47,733 --> 00:24:50,706
Because, actually, Daddy's very much
looking forward to seeing Santa
474
00:24:50,746 --> 00:24:52,186
at the parade tonight as well.
475
00:24:52,226 --> 00:24:53,466
Really?
476
00:24:53,506 --> 00:24:54,871
Of course.
477
00:24:54,872 --> 00:24:57,622
So, why don't you go and clean up
your bowl and we'll get on home?
478
00:25:05,546 --> 00:25:08,186
SONG: 'Twelve Days Of Christmas'
479
00:25:15,146 --> 00:25:17,066
SHE SCREAMS, CHICKENS CLUCK
480
00:25:17,106 --> 00:25:18,426
FLAPPING
481
00:25:18,466 --> 00:25:19,946
SHE WHIMPERS
482
00:25:26,260 --> 00:25:27,986
'Be honest, Doc, how bad is it?'
483
00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:30,927
- It's just a few minor scratches.
- Oh, God.
484
00:25:31,226 --> 00:25:33,386
I've probably caught
all kinds of horrible diseases.
485
00:25:33,426 --> 00:25:35,826
Diseases from birds are usually
spread by inhaling the dust
486
00:25:35,866 --> 00:25:36,866
from their droppings.
487
00:25:36,906 --> 00:25:39,701
Worst a scratch'll do is give you
a mild superficial infection.
488
00:25:39,726 --> 00:25:41,386
Did you just say super-infection?
489
00:25:41,426 --> 00:25:43,186
No, I said superficial infection.
490
00:25:43,226 --> 00:25:45,090
This is hardly the emergency
you said it was.
491
00:25:45,091 --> 00:25:47,270
Hello, hello, hell...! Oh.
492
00:25:47,271 --> 00:25:50,346
Oh, Doc, what are you doing here?
What's happened?
493
00:25:50,386 --> 00:25:52,906
Some psycho left birds in a box
to attack me.
494
00:25:52,946 --> 00:25:54,745
They didn't attack you.
They scratched you.
495
00:25:54,746 --> 00:25:55,841
The doc's right.
496
00:25:55,842 --> 00:25:58,866
Bit soon to be using
inflammatory language like psycho.
497
00:25:58,906 --> 00:26:02,146
Maybe someone
just wanted to give you a gift.
498
00:26:02,186 --> 00:26:05,186
What, a gift of three chickens?!
And then there's the note.
499
00:26:05,226 --> 00:26:08,266
"This is only the beginning."
That's a threat if ever I heard one.
500
00:26:08,306 --> 00:26:10,146
- Bye.
- Er, no. Wait up, Doc.
501
00:26:10,186 --> 00:26:13,466
Er, Louisa asked me to look after
the kids. I'll be safer there.
502
00:26:13,506 --> 00:26:14,866
Joe, deal with those.
503
00:26:14,906 --> 00:26:17,466
CHICKENS CLUCK
504
00:26:19,924 --> 00:26:23,481
- Oh. Good morning!
- Oh, hello, Agatha.
505
00:26:23,506 --> 00:26:26,786
I'm afraid the surgery isn't open
till after Christmas now.
506
00:26:26,826 --> 00:26:30,546
Oh, no, I've come to see you.
Official Parish Council business.
507
00:26:30,586 --> 00:26:32,586
Oh, right. OK.
508
00:26:32,626 --> 00:26:34,470
Of course. Erm...
509
00:26:34,471 --> 00:26:35,946
She does realise
510
00:26:35,986 --> 00:26:39,977
that that turkey is gonna end up
on someone's dinner table?
511
00:26:39,978 --> 00:26:43,466
- Yeah, course she does.
- Who's a good boy? Yeah, you are.
512
00:26:43,506 --> 00:26:45,781
You know, I've made
almost as much from selling
513
00:26:45,806 --> 00:26:47,206
guess-the-weight raffle tickets
514
00:26:47,246 --> 00:26:49,468
than I have had from selling food
these past few days.
515
00:26:49,469 --> 00:26:52,269
The great thing is, the chances
of someone actually guessing
516
00:26:52,309 --> 00:26:55,509
the weight of that bird
are close to zero. Oh, dear.
517
00:26:55,534 --> 00:26:58,694
It's a shame that Christmas comes
but once a year.
518
00:26:58,749 --> 00:27:00,869
- Here we go.
- Pop it over there.
519
00:27:01,604 --> 00:27:05,651
I got some battery lanterns,
candle ones,
520
00:27:05,869 --> 00:27:08,029
and some of those fancy sky ones.
521
00:27:08,069 --> 00:27:10,378
Here, were they expensive?
522
00:27:10,589 --> 00:27:13,389
It doesn't matter, Bert. It's Christmas.
523
00:27:13,429 --> 00:27:16,909
- We're not gonna charge for them.
- Oh, no, of course not.
524
00:27:18,429 --> 00:27:21,749
TURKEY CLUCKS, GOBBLES
525
00:27:21,789 --> 00:27:25,549
Sorry, Agatha, we had a little bit
of an incident here today.
526
00:27:25,589 --> 00:27:27,303
Oh.
SHE CHUCKLES
527
00:27:27,989 --> 00:27:30,509
- Would you like some tea?
- Oh, no, thank you.
528
00:27:30,549 --> 00:27:33,241
I understand you're planning
a lantern parade this evening?
529
00:27:33,266 --> 00:27:35,312
Yes. Well, it's a bit last-minute,
530
00:27:35,337 --> 00:27:37,595
but it's all coming together,
touch wood.
531
00:27:37,817 --> 00:27:41,097
CHUCKLING: How wonderful.
Although, you know the rules.
532
00:27:41,137 --> 00:27:43,937
You haven't lodged your event
notification form with the council
533
00:27:43,977 --> 00:27:47,073
60 days prior to the event
and had it ratified.
534
00:27:47,074 --> 00:27:51,246
No. I thought as it's just a few
people walking down the street...
535
00:27:51,378 --> 00:27:54,137
Oh... A few people
walking down the street...
536
00:27:54,177 --> 00:27:58,617
It's a bit like saying a rock
concert is a few people in a field.
537
00:28:01,142 --> 00:28:04,137
Agatha, James is really
looking forward to this.
538
00:28:04,177 --> 00:28:05,777
I know the village feels the same.
539
00:28:05,817 --> 00:28:09,211
And it really will just be
a few people with lanterns...
540
00:28:09,212 --> 00:28:10,670
Hi, guys.
541
00:28:11,433 --> 00:28:13,905
Martin, this is Agatha.
She's from the Parish Council.
542
00:28:13,906 --> 00:28:15,225
- Doctor Ellingham.
- Yes.
543
00:28:15,250 --> 00:28:17,272
Apologies if I look a little flustered.
544
00:28:17,273 --> 00:28:19,460
I've just been attacked by some birds.
545
00:28:19,461 --> 00:28:21,015
- Oh, my.
- It was nothing.
546
00:28:21,016 --> 00:28:23,431
Oh, sure! "Lose one eye, get another."
547
00:28:23,432 --> 00:28:25,170
That must have been horrible.
548
00:28:25,171 --> 00:28:27,524
Those awful things
with their mean, little beaks
549
00:28:27,525 --> 00:28:29,217
and lifeless, black eyes.
550
00:28:29,257 --> 00:28:31,937
- I know!
- Thankfully, Janice survived.
551
00:28:31,977 --> 00:28:34,777
I know she's really looking forward
to the parade as well.
552
00:28:34,817 --> 00:28:36,676
I'm not really that bothered...
553
00:28:36,701 --> 00:28:39,497
But, yes, very much so.
554
00:28:39,537 --> 00:28:41,977
Janice, can you check on Mary, please?
555
00:28:42,002 --> 00:28:42,967
Yes.
556
00:28:47,186 --> 00:28:50,697
Is there any way we can get the
event signed off by this evening?
557
00:28:51,347 --> 00:28:53,027
This isn't about paperwork.
558
00:28:53,052 --> 00:28:55,392
This is about the safety of the village
559
00:28:55,393 --> 00:28:58,457
during the most dangerous time
of the year.
560
00:28:58,497 --> 00:29:00,562
Well, I'm not sure
Christmas is that dangerous.
561
00:29:00,563 --> 00:29:01,777
Oh, really?
562
00:29:02,088 --> 00:29:05,777
Over-eating.
People drinking too much alcohol.
563
00:29:05,817 --> 00:29:07,469
Suppose there is
a little bit of that, yeah.
564
00:29:07,470 --> 00:29:09,470
Then there's injuries
from putting up decorations,
565
00:29:09,471 --> 00:29:13,352
injuries from taking them down,
candles, fires, indigestion,
566
00:29:13,773 --> 00:29:18,177
food poisoning, allergies, choking,
slipping on snow, slipping on ice...
567
00:29:18,217 --> 00:29:20,099
Have you ever seen
a Christmas tree catch alight?
568
00:29:20,100 --> 00:29:22,120
I don't know why people have them
in their homes.
569
00:29:22,121 --> 00:29:25,577
They're incendiary devices.
And don't forget batteries,
570
00:29:25,617 --> 00:29:27,337
which children seem to swallow
all day long
571
00:29:27,377 --> 00:29:28,657
during the Christmas holidays,
572
00:29:28,697 --> 00:29:30,337
leaking corrosive acid into the stomach
573
00:29:30,377 --> 00:29:32,174
and destroying its lining.
They're quite lethal.
574
00:29:32,175 --> 00:29:35,221
I did forget them! Thank you, doctor.
575
00:29:35,222 --> 00:29:37,434
Yes, thank you, Martin (!)
576
00:29:37,435 --> 00:29:40,335
You know, we've got a meeting now
about the parade.
577
00:29:40,336 --> 00:29:44,232
Why don't you come along and see
that there's nothing to worry about?
578
00:29:44,233 --> 00:29:46,561
- I suppose I could.
- Great.
579
00:29:46,815 --> 00:29:49,711
Martin, try and speak to James.
Make sure he's OK.
580
00:29:49,736 --> 00:29:50,673
Yes.
581
00:29:50,674 --> 00:29:53,617
- Come along, we should get going.
- Oh. Um...
582
00:29:53,657 --> 00:29:56,777
So, if nobody wins,
do we get to keep Toby?
583
00:29:56,817 --> 00:29:58,595
I don't know.
I hadn't really thought about it.
584
00:29:58,596 --> 00:30:00,666
Chances are
someone's guessed it correctly.
585
00:30:00,667 --> 00:30:02,865
Maybe. Maybe not.
586
00:30:03,751 --> 00:30:06,097
The plan is for people
to start at the school
587
00:30:06,137 --> 00:30:09,334
and make their way down here
to the Christmas tree at The Platt.
588
00:30:09,335 --> 00:30:12,257
- That's relatively straight-forward.
- Yeah, yeah, well, it is.
589
00:30:12,258 --> 00:30:14,937
- So, we all set, Louisa?
- Not quite.
590
00:30:14,977 --> 00:30:18,537
Apparently, we need permission
from Portwenn Parish Council.
591
00:30:18,577 --> 00:30:21,943
Erm, Agatha, you know Joe Penhale
and Bert Large, don't you?
592
00:30:21,968 --> 00:30:24,377
I am aware of them both, yes.
593
00:30:24,417 --> 00:30:27,617
What safety procedures
have you in play for the parade?
594
00:30:27,657 --> 00:30:33,483
Well... they're just walking
from up there to there, so...
595
00:30:33,484 --> 00:30:37,377
I thought I'd use the 1986
Public Order Act as my framework.
596
00:30:37,417 --> 00:30:40,811
Although, for me, the 1936 original
was far more effective.
597
00:30:40,812 --> 00:30:42,657
But then I'm just a police officer
598
00:30:42,697 --> 00:30:44,522
with the lowest crime rate
in Devon and Cornwall
599
00:30:44,523 --> 00:30:46,377
five years running, so what do I know?
600
00:30:46,417 --> 00:30:47,477
That's true.
601
00:30:47,857 --> 00:30:49,297
High-vis jackets?
602
00:30:49,337 --> 00:30:51,617
Please! I don't get out of bed
in the morning
603
00:30:51,657 --> 00:30:53,020
without a high-vis jacket on.
604
00:30:53,021 --> 00:30:54,857
LAUGHTER
605
00:30:54,897 --> 00:30:57,825
Have you got
a health and safety protocol?
606
00:30:57,826 --> 00:31:00,057
Er, no, not as such.
607
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,412
But then, you know,
we-we only had a day and...
608
00:31:04,057 --> 00:31:05,857
- Well, so what?
- So what?!
609
00:31:05,897 --> 00:31:08,737
Yes. So what!
You know, the village needs this.
610
00:31:08,777 --> 00:31:12,129
To be able to come together
and celebrate as a community.
611
00:31:12,130 --> 00:31:14,618
The benefits surely outweigh the risks.
612
00:31:14,619 --> 00:31:17,353
Agatha, you're the only person
that can make it happen.
613
00:31:17,759 --> 00:31:19,112
Or not.
614
00:31:20,287 --> 00:31:22,937
I suppose it's only a short walk.
615
00:31:22,977 --> 00:31:25,030
Great. So we're OK for tonight?
616
00:31:25,031 --> 00:31:27,481
- TURKEY GOBBLES
- Is that a turkey?
617
00:31:27,482 --> 00:31:32,567
Er, excuse me, why have you got
livestock next to a food truck?
618
00:31:32,592 --> 00:31:33,832
It's unhygienic.
619
00:31:33,857 --> 00:31:37,657
He's called Toby and he's not
unhygienic, he's very clean.
620
00:31:37,697 --> 00:31:40,271
- I gave him a bath this morning.
- And we're just weighing him
621
00:31:40,296 --> 00:31:41,991
to see if anyone's won the competition.
622
00:31:41,992 --> 00:31:44,436
- What competition?
- Well, guess its weight correctly
623
00:31:44,437 --> 00:31:46,438
and it could end up on your table
this Christmas.
624
00:31:46,439 --> 00:31:48,387
Unfortunately, nobody got it right.
625
00:31:48,388 --> 00:31:50,412
Here, have a go. On the house.
626
00:31:50,413 --> 00:31:51,915
Oh, I don't know...
627
00:31:52,778 --> 00:31:54,652
Nine pounds, 11 ounces.
628
00:31:56,975 --> 00:31:59,417
That is amazing. How did you do that?
629
00:31:59,457 --> 00:32:00,991
Wait, I won?!
630
00:32:00,992 --> 00:32:03,498
I don't like birds,
and definitely not that one.
631
00:32:03,499 --> 00:32:05,086
He's not asking you to look after it.
632
00:32:05,087 --> 00:32:06,462
It's for Christmas lunch.
633
00:32:06,463 --> 00:32:07,859
Yeah, we'll get the butcher
to deliver it later.
634
00:32:07,860 --> 00:32:10,874
Or you could have the satisfaction
of knowing you were correct
635
00:32:10,875 --> 00:32:11,976
and leave it at that.
636
00:32:11,977 --> 00:32:15,924
Mor, it is a turkey, it's Christmas.
It's had a good, long life.
637
00:32:16,077 --> 00:32:19,326
Not that long. Christmas turkeys
are usually five months old.
638
00:32:19,327 --> 00:32:23,457
Well, we've all learned something
new today. So, the parade...
639
00:32:23,512 --> 00:32:26,082
So, the butcher will kill it
and chop it up for me?
640
00:32:26,083 --> 00:32:27,508
Yeah. All part of the prize.
641
00:32:27,509 --> 00:32:30,025
See what it's like
when a community comes together.
642
00:32:30,026 --> 00:32:31,218
AGATHA CHUCKLES
643
00:32:31,219 --> 00:32:33,315
He does seem like a healthy specimen.
644
00:32:33,587 --> 00:32:36,067
TURKEY GOBBLES
Oh, my! Oh!
645
00:32:46,780 --> 00:32:48,444
Mr Maitland, this is Doctor Ellingham.
646
00:32:48,445 --> 00:32:49,582
I have your test results.
647
00:32:49,583 --> 00:32:52,005
Can you please call me
as soon as you get this? Thank you.
648
00:32:52,006 --> 00:32:53,541
DOG BARKS James...
649
00:32:53,936 --> 00:32:56,017
Can you ask your dog to be quiet,
please?
650
00:32:56,018 --> 00:32:57,466
DOG WHIMPERS
651
00:32:57,467 --> 00:32:58,804
James?
652
00:33:02,486 --> 00:33:03,633
James?!
653
00:33:07,409 --> 00:33:08,322
DOG BARKS
654
00:33:08,347 --> 00:33:09,747
Downstairs, shoo!
655
00:33:12,085 --> 00:33:13,565
Hello, James.
656
00:33:16,119 --> 00:33:17,851
You're upset with me.
657
00:33:20,723 --> 00:33:21,843
Mmm.
658
00:33:27,729 --> 00:33:31,937
When I was your age,
I'd wake up on Christmas morning...
659
00:33:33,253 --> 00:33:36,487
..and at the end of my bed, every year,
660
00:33:36,771 --> 00:33:41,179
was a stocking with an orange
and a pencil set in it.
661
00:33:42,449 --> 00:33:45,057
And I'd run down to
my mother and father's room...
662
00:33:46,929 --> 00:33:48,072
..but...
663
00:33:49,070 --> 00:33:50,538
But what?
664
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:52,900
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
665
00:33:52,901 --> 00:33:54,440
Excuse me.
666
00:33:55,272 --> 00:33:56,392
Yes.
667
00:33:57,857 --> 00:33:58,937
Right.
668
00:34:00,593 --> 00:34:01,535
Yes.
669
00:34:02,292 --> 00:34:04,760
Oh, I'm sorry, there's an emergency.
I have to go.
670
00:34:04,815 --> 00:34:06,590
Janice is downstairs
if you need anything.
671
00:34:06,591 --> 00:34:10,236
And we'll, erm...
Er, we'll talk again. Well done.
672
00:34:10,237 --> 00:34:12,320
Off, shoo, downstairs!
673
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:14,593
DOG BARKS,
JAMES SIGHS
674
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,840
OK, Agatha, I need you
to remain still, yeah?
675
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:19,859
Just try not to move.
676
00:34:19,860 --> 00:34:21,139
SHOUTING: Out of the way,
coming through!
677
00:34:21,140 --> 00:34:24,256
You can probably hear somebody
barking at people. That's the doc.
678
00:34:24,700 --> 00:34:27,548
Er, she's had a fall. She's got
a cut on the back of her head.
679
00:34:27,549 --> 00:34:29,982
I've tried to stem the blood,
but I think she's concussed.
680
00:34:29,983 --> 00:34:31,583
Well done. Anybody called an ambulance?
681
00:34:31,623 --> 00:34:32,713
On its way, Doc.
682
00:34:33,023 --> 00:34:35,811
- Do you know where you are?
- Turkey.
683
00:34:35,836 --> 00:34:38,223
I think she means the bird, Doc,
not the country.
684
00:34:38,457 --> 00:34:40,222
I won it from the food truck.
685
00:34:40,247 --> 00:34:41,583
- Told you.
- Yes, shush.
686
00:34:42,083 --> 00:34:44,003
I never won anything before!
687
00:34:44,028 --> 00:34:45,468
Keep still and stop talking.
688
00:34:46,863 --> 00:34:51,253
Sorry, I hate to do this,
but do we have the Parish go-ahead
689
00:34:51,254 --> 00:34:52,291
for the parade?
690
00:34:52,292 --> 00:34:54,970
- Oh, Louisa, really? Not now, come on.
- Sorry.
691
00:34:55,565 --> 00:34:57,285
SHE MUTTERS
692
00:34:58,845 --> 00:35:00,032
What did that mean?
693
00:35:00,033 --> 00:35:01,832
I'm pretty sure it was a yes.
694
00:35:02,275 --> 00:35:04,800
You're just saying that
cos you wanna be Santa Claus.
695
00:35:04,801 --> 00:35:08,920
Yes, I am. Because you're right, Louisa.
696
00:35:08,921 --> 00:35:11,398
We deserve this. All of us.
697
00:35:11,874 --> 00:35:14,884
Do you really wanna tell James that
this has been cancelled as well?
698
00:35:15,362 --> 00:35:17,908
You're trying
to emotionally manipulate me.
699
00:35:17,933 --> 00:35:20,825
- Is it working?
- Might be, yeah.
700
00:35:20,850 --> 00:35:24,911
Because... technically,
Agatha didn't say no...
701
00:35:24,936 --> 00:35:27,404
- Everyone! The parade's still on.
- Joe, no, that's not what I meant...
702
00:35:27,444 --> 00:35:29,964
- Right, let's get to work. Come on!
- OK, then.
703
00:35:31,724 --> 00:35:34,364
Mor, what are you doing?
704
00:35:34,404 --> 00:35:36,924
Oh, I-I thought I'd drive him
to the butcher's myself.
705
00:35:36,964 --> 00:35:38,644
Well, I-I can do that.
706
00:35:38,684 --> 00:35:40,060
Yeah, erm...
707
00:35:40,404 --> 00:35:42,284
I know it's silly, but I...
708
00:35:42,324 --> 00:35:44,444
I just want a chance to say goodbye.
709
00:35:44,791 --> 00:35:47,068
What, to the...?
710
00:35:47,093 --> 00:35:48,964
Right, OK. I understand.
711
00:35:49,004 --> 00:35:51,964
But, I mean, it is a...
It's a turkey at Christmas.
712
00:35:52,004 --> 00:35:53,084
Yeah, I know.
713
00:35:53,124 --> 00:35:55,244
Just take it easy. Rest up.
714
00:35:55,284 --> 00:35:57,771
Erm, avoid the bumpy roads.
Keep it smooth.
715
00:35:57,796 --> 00:35:59,204
- MOBILE PHONE RINGS
- Yes, Doc.
716
00:35:59,244 --> 00:36:01,159
We know how to drive an ambulance.
717
00:36:02,371 --> 00:36:03,531
Ellingham.
718
00:36:03,571 --> 00:36:07,097
Doc, it's Leonard Maitland.
You left a message?
719
00:36:07,098 --> 00:36:09,795
Ah, Mr Maitland, yes.
Your test results have come back.
720
00:36:10,411 --> 00:36:12,303
It's bad news, isn't it?
721
00:36:13,036 --> 00:36:16,159
To be honest, I've been
having dizzy spells all day.
722
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:18,716
It's made working in the garage
really tricky.
723
00:36:18,717 --> 00:36:21,073
If you're feeling dizzy,
you shouldn't be up and about.
724
00:36:21,105 --> 00:36:22,793
Yeah, all right...
725
00:36:24,243 --> 00:36:26,403
'I'll go and get a seat.'
726
00:36:30,131 --> 00:36:32,051
CLATTERING
727
00:36:32,091 --> 00:36:33,552
Oh, oh...
728
00:36:34,082 --> 00:36:35,972
Mr Maitland? What's happened?
729
00:36:36,371 --> 00:36:39,984
Just fell over and took
the shelf down with me and...
730
00:36:39,985 --> 00:36:41,357
Oh, no.
731
00:36:47,199 --> 00:36:49,266
Doc, I don't wanna panic here,
732
00:36:49,267 --> 00:36:52,109
but there's a massive cut in my leg
and a lot of blood.
733
00:36:55,451 --> 00:36:58,224
I'll just try and patch myself up.
734
00:36:58,309 --> 00:37:00,134
'Bleeding everywhere here.'
735
00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:02,663
Right, put pressure on the wound
and keep the leg raised.
736
00:37:02,664 --> 00:37:03,803
I'll call an ambulance.
737
00:37:03,804 --> 00:37:05,590
Er, I'm sure it'll be fine.
738
00:37:05,591 --> 00:37:08,065
'Er, no. Your blood test showed
that you're grossly anaemic.
739
00:37:08,066 --> 00:37:09,460
'You can't afford
to lose any more blood.'
740
00:37:09,461 --> 00:37:12,243
It's not like as I could
bleed to death, is it?
741
00:37:12,533 --> 00:37:15,900
Ah, well, in a worst-case scenario,
er, yes. In a few hours.
742
00:37:15,901 --> 00:37:17,539
Then can you please get off the phone
743
00:37:17,540 --> 00:37:18,963
and call me a bloody ambulance!
744
00:37:19,186 --> 00:37:20,272
Yes!
745
00:37:21,211 --> 00:37:23,356
TURKEY CLUCKS
746
00:37:23,357 --> 00:37:26,777
I don't want you to go,
but this is the only way.
747
00:37:29,130 --> 00:37:31,490
And I just wanna say thank you.
748
00:37:31,717 --> 00:37:33,992
I didn't think I was ready, but...
749
00:37:34,622 --> 00:37:36,997
I hadn't actually finished yet, Toby.
750
00:37:37,752 --> 00:37:40,117
It's fine.
TURKEY CHATTERS
751
00:37:41,374 --> 00:37:42,917
Bye, then.
752
00:37:42,957 --> 00:37:44,797
TURKEY GOBBLES
753
00:37:48,129 --> 00:37:50,460
- No, no fireworks.
- And no sky lanterns.
754
00:37:50,461 --> 00:37:53,277
Hang on a minute! I can get
a really good deal on those.
755
00:37:53,317 --> 00:37:55,923
We don't wanna take anyone's
attention away from the parade.
756
00:37:55,924 --> 00:37:58,557
- Louisa, excuse me.
- Martin, I'm in a meeting.
757
00:37:59,344 --> 00:38:00,729
Yes, forgive me.
758
00:38:01,591 --> 00:38:02,788
Sorry.
759
00:38:02,983 --> 00:38:04,881
There's been an accident
at Leonard Maitland's
760
00:38:04,882 --> 00:38:07,477
and the only ambulance in the area
is tied up with, erm...
761
00:38:07,517 --> 00:38:09,932
er, whatshername, so I'm gonna
have to drive up there myself.
762
00:38:09,933 --> 00:38:12,461
- Oh, dear, that sounds serious.
- Yes, it is.
763
00:38:12,757 --> 00:38:14,491
Will you be back in time for the parade?
764
00:38:14,492 --> 00:38:16,454
Erm, yes, I should be.
765
00:38:16,455 --> 00:38:18,957
Er, but if I'm not...
you'll tell James, will you?
766
00:38:18,997 --> 00:38:21,406
It'll be fine. He's fine. Just go.
767
00:38:38,397 --> 00:38:40,047
All OK with the butcher?
768
00:38:40,437 --> 00:38:43,317
You're not gonna believe me.
Toby escaped.
769
00:38:43,357 --> 00:38:44,517
What?
770
00:38:44,557 --> 00:38:47,717
Yeah, so I got to the butcher
and then he just sprung out the cage
771
00:38:47,757 --> 00:38:49,077
and flew away.
772
00:38:49,117 --> 00:38:51,213
You're right, I don't believe you.
773
00:38:51,214 --> 00:38:53,183
SCREAMING Is that Janice?
774
00:38:53,184 --> 00:38:54,557
God.
775
00:38:54,856 --> 00:38:56,333
Come on!
776
00:39:03,138 --> 00:39:04,335
What is it?
777
00:39:04,618 --> 00:39:06,778
Oh, that's really nice.
778
00:39:06,818 --> 00:39:07,938
Nice?
779
00:39:07,978 --> 00:39:10,138
Someone breaks in
and leaves more birds for me
780
00:39:10,178 --> 00:39:12,098
after the last lot almost blinded me?
781
00:39:12,138 --> 00:39:15,578
It was a tiny scratch. On your hand.
782
00:39:15,618 --> 00:39:17,778
Maybe you should speak to Joe.
783
00:39:17,818 --> 00:39:20,485
I already have. But you know
what the police are like.
784
00:39:20,510 --> 00:39:22,578
They've always got
more important things to do.
785
00:39:22,618 --> 00:39:25,858
It's just that doves are a symbol,
aren't they, of, er, of love?
786
00:39:25,898 --> 00:39:27,098
So?
787
00:39:27,138 --> 00:39:28,898
So maybe speak to Joe.
788
00:39:28,938 --> 00:39:31,938
Uh, I just told you, I already have.
789
00:39:31,978 --> 00:39:33,258
Is he feeling OK?
790
00:39:33,298 --> 00:39:34,778
SCREAMING
791
00:39:34,818 --> 00:39:36,978
PHONE RINGING OUT
792
00:39:40,726 --> 00:39:41,966
Mr Maitland?
793
00:39:44,218 --> 00:39:45,700
Can you hear me?
794
00:39:46,218 --> 00:39:47,778
Mr Maitland?
795
00:39:49,138 --> 00:39:52,058
If you can hear me, I'm almost with you.
796
00:39:52,098 --> 00:39:54,058
TURKEY CLUCKS
797
00:40:07,218 --> 00:40:09,978
TURKEY CHATTERS
798
00:40:15,578 --> 00:40:17,698
WIND WHISTLES
799
00:40:19,578 --> 00:40:21,578
HE GROANS
800
00:40:29,298 --> 00:40:30,938
HE MUTTERS
801
00:40:38,538 --> 00:40:41,618
RAGGED BREATHING,
WIND WHISTLES
802
00:40:41,658 --> 00:40:44,538
ENGINE HISSES
803
00:40:46,578 --> 00:40:48,298
HE GROANS
804
00:41:10,858 --> 00:41:12,378
HE YELPS
805
00:41:12,418 --> 00:41:14,538
Argh!
806
00:41:22,430 --> 00:41:25,154
I was just coming to find you.
How's your day been?
807
00:41:25,179 --> 00:41:26,561
- Terrible.
- Really?
808
00:41:26,586 --> 00:41:28,906
What, nothing special happened or...?
809
00:41:28,907 --> 00:41:31,796
Oh, something special happened.
That psycho struck again.
810
00:41:31,797 --> 00:41:33,838
He left two more scary birds
in the salon.
811
00:41:33,839 --> 00:41:36,564
OK. What type of birds?
812
00:41:36,565 --> 00:41:38,102
I don't know, doves or something.
813
00:41:38,103 --> 00:41:39,790
Well, doves are nice.
814
00:41:39,791 --> 00:41:43,213
Doves, pigeons, rats, bats -
they're all the same.
815
00:41:43,214 --> 00:41:45,255
When I find out who did this,
they're dead.
816
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:47,617
Well, maybe if you just
think about it...
817
00:41:47,618 --> 00:41:50,551
I am thinking about it!
I can't stop, it's driving me nuts.
818
00:41:50,552 --> 00:41:53,533
Look, if you can't be bothered
to find out who's stalking me,
819
00:41:53,534 --> 00:41:54,952
then at least go and get rid of them!
820
00:41:54,953 --> 00:41:57,666
Yeah. I promise. I'll-I'll sort it out.
821
00:42:01,169 --> 00:42:05,240
Ho-ho-ho!
What do you want for Christmas?
822
00:42:05,512 --> 00:42:07,571
How far away
is Leonard Maitland's house?
823
00:42:07,572 --> 00:42:11,843
You do realise I'm Santa Claus,
not the wonderful Joseph Penh...
824
00:42:11,883 --> 00:42:13,089
It's about 20 minutes.
825
00:42:13,090 --> 00:42:15,046
It's just Martin drove up there
a few hours ago.
826
00:42:15,047 --> 00:42:16,841
He's still not back
and I can't get a hold of him.
827
00:42:16,842 --> 00:42:19,688
Well, signal's terrible up there.
The important thing...
828
00:42:19,689 --> 00:42:21,883
Is not to worry. Yes, I know.
829
00:42:21,923 --> 00:42:24,415
The important thing
is that Leonard can't play Santa
830
00:42:24,416 --> 00:42:25,853
because that's my job now.
831
00:42:25,854 --> 00:42:28,745
And, yes, also not to worry.
832
00:42:29,187 --> 00:42:33,803
TURKEY CHATTERS,
WIND WHISTLES
833
00:43:22,883 --> 00:43:27,603
ENGINE SPLUTTERS
THEN CUTS OUT
834
00:43:29,884 --> 00:43:31,410
RAGGED BREATHING
835
00:43:31,411 --> 00:43:33,860
You always were a fragile child.
836
00:43:35,102 --> 00:43:38,483
I'm not one to be critical,
but it was rather embarrassing.
837
00:43:39,511 --> 00:43:40,943
SHAKILY: Hypothermia.
838
00:43:40,944 --> 00:43:42,232
Hmm?
839
00:43:44,352 --> 00:43:46,926
Oh, I've been out in the cold
for nearly two hours
840
00:43:46,927 --> 00:43:49,160
and my body temperature's dropped.
841
00:43:49,161 --> 00:43:51,043
And my pulse rate's decreased.
842
00:43:51,083 --> 00:43:53,125
And my pupils are dilated.
843
00:43:53,755 --> 00:43:56,402
My reflexes seem unaffected, though.
844
00:43:56,403 --> 00:43:58,073
Oh, for goodness' sake.
845
00:43:58,455 --> 00:44:00,483
Can't you even say hello?
846
00:44:00,523 --> 00:44:03,646
Erm.. You're not a person.
You're a symptom.
847
00:44:03,647 --> 00:44:04,766
SHE SCOFFS
848
00:44:04,767 --> 00:44:06,746
That's a dreadful thing to say
to your mother.
849
00:44:06,747 --> 00:44:10,875
Hypothermia can lead to
disorientation and hallucinations.
850
00:44:11,626 --> 00:44:15,377
You always have an excuse for
everything. It's rather tiresome.
851
00:44:15,378 --> 00:44:19,723
Right now, my primary concern
is to get the engine started
852
00:44:19,763 --> 00:44:21,461
and the heat on again.
853
00:44:21,773 --> 00:44:23,911
And if you don't manage that?
854
00:44:23,912 --> 00:44:27,882
My core temperature
could drop to a level
855
00:44:27,883 --> 00:44:30,557
where it's unable
to produce sufficient heat,
856
00:44:31,034 --> 00:44:36,224
which ultimately would lead to
my vital organs failing and then...
857
00:44:36,963 --> 00:44:38,123
Death?
858
00:44:39,409 --> 00:44:40,409
Yes.
859
00:44:40,434 --> 00:44:42,394
How long do you have?
860
00:44:43,388 --> 00:44:45,148
About an hour.
861
00:44:46,518 --> 00:44:47,838
Maybe less.
862
00:44:49,078 --> 00:44:50,278
That's not helpful.
863
00:44:50,318 --> 00:44:54,487
Oh, Martin! What makes you think
I'm here to help?
864
00:44:54,512 --> 00:44:56,312
WIND WHISTLES
865
00:45:03,715 --> 00:45:06,875
Do you think he'll be upset
if you don't make it home?
866
00:45:07,090 --> 00:45:08,235
Who?
867
00:45:08,584 --> 00:45:09,915
James.
868
00:45:09,955 --> 00:45:11,875
I will make it back.
869
00:45:12,050 --> 00:45:15,007
You don't seem that upset
about my passing.
870
00:45:15,032 --> 00:45:17,835
And it's not as if you're
a better parent to James.
871
00:45:17,875 --> 00:45:19,196
That's not true.
872
00:45:19,197 --> 00:45:22,366
He's already begun to resent you,
Martin.
873
00:45:22,915 --> 00:45:25,035
That's a disease that spreads.
874
00:45:25,075 --> 00:45:28,174
One that I doubt
even you know how to cure.
875
00:45:30,129 --> 00:45:33,498
How old were you when you realised
we didn't love you?
876
00:45:34,904 --> 00:45:36,875
Look what Santa brought.
877
00:45:36,915 --> 00:45:40,057
'Was it on one of those
Christmas Day mornings,
878
00:45:40,082 --> 00:45:42,469
'when you woke up and found us gone?
879
00:45:44,223 --> 00:45:46,450
'You can't blame us, Martin.
880
00:45:47,595 --> 00:45:50,473
'We were happy before you arrived.'
881
00:45:50,995 --> 00:45:52,275
Hello?
882
00:45:54,595 --> 00:45:57,784
We just wanted to enjoy
one special day a year,
883
00:45:57,809 --> 00:46:00,155
when we could be free from you.
884
00:46:00,195 --> 00:46:02,675
Be quiet. You're not real.
885
00:46:02,715 --> 00:46:06,274
Which, on the balance of things,
is even more disturbing, isn't it?
886
00:46:06,299 --> 00:46:08,155
ENGINE STARTS
887
00:46:09,595 --> 00:46:11,395
What a clever boy.
888
00:46:11,435 --> 00:46:12,997
CAR BEEPS,
ENGINE STOPS
889
00:46:14,195 --> 00:46:15,621
Well, maybe not.
890
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:19,551
What are you doing?
891
00:46:19,552 --> 00:46:23,635
My patient is anaemic.
I have to make sure that he's safe.
892
00:46:23,675 --> 00:46:26,955
You can't go out there.
You've already tried and failed.
893
00:46:26,995 --> 00:46:28,029
Then I'll try again.
894
00:46:28,030 --> 00:46:29,696
And you'll freeze to death.
895
00:46:30,035 --> 00:46:33,835
Now, sit back here
and listen with Mother.
896
00:46:33,875 --> 00:46:37,315
Just for the record... I forgive you.
897
00:46:37,615 --> 00:46:40,031
- No, you don't.
- Oh, shut up!
898
00:46:56,115 --> 00:46:57,835
You ready to go to the parade?
899
00:46:57,875 --> 00:46:59,555
Just fixing my beard.
900
00:46:59,595 --> 00:47:01,035
HE CHUCKLES
901
00:47:02,595 --> 00:47:03,816
Do I look OK?
902
00:47:03,817 --> 00:47:06,035
I don't know. I suppose so.
903
00:47:06,247 --> 00:47:08,715
I'm sorry.
It's this whole stalker thing.
904
00:47:08,755 --> 00:47:10,075
It's got me all anxious.
905
00:47:10,115 --> 00:47:12,475
It's over, Janice.
906
00:47:12,515 --> 00:47:14,235
You just have to trust me.
907
00:47:14,499 --> 00:47:15,875
It's all over.
908
00:47:19,082 --> 00:47:21,982
Right, I couldn't get you a partridge.
909
00:47:21,983 --> 00:47:25,436
What I have got you is a pheasant,
which is basically
910
00:47:25,461 --> 00:47:27,587
the Rolls Royce of partridges.
911
00:47:28,568 --> 00:47:29,795
Did you not get my message?
912
00:47:29,835 --> 00:47:33,435
Yeah. No more birds to the salon.
So I've, er, brought it here.
913
00:47:33,475 --> 00:47:35,115
Just "no more birds".
914
00:47:35,155 --> 00:47:37,994
Well, you've paid for them and
you're not getting your money back.
915
00:47:41,035 --> 00:47:42,487
Oh, my God.
916
00:47:42,875 --> 00:47:44,661
You're my stalker.
917
00:47:45,955 --> 00:47:48,835
What's wrong with you? Why would you
want to torture me like this?
918
00:47:48,875 --> 00:47:50,635
It was meant to be romantic.
919
00:47:50,675 --> 00:47:52,995
What's romantic about
being attacked by chickens?
920
00:47:53,035 --> 00:47:54,835
Not chickens. Hens.
921
00:47:54,875 --> 00:47:59,515
Three Cornish hens
because no-one had any French ones.
922
00:47:59,555 --> 00:48:02,715
And then two doves and then a pheasant.
923
00:48:02,755 --> 00:48:06,275
Because, apparently, they're
the Rolls Royce of partridges.
924
00:48:07,508 --> 00:48:10,148
You know, like the song.
925
00:48:11,235 --> 00:48:13,837
Well, then, why didn't you just
tell me, then?
926
00:48:14,715 --> 00:48:17,565
Because you were upset and...
927
00:48:18,888 --> 00:48:22,049
..I didn't want to spoil this...
928
00:48:23,623 --> 00:48:25,115
..this moment.
929
00:48:28,155 --> 00:48:29,411
Oh.
930
00:48:30,155 --> 00:48:34,941
I know we've tried and failed
before, Janice, but...
931
00:48:36,811 --> 00:48:38,155
..I love you.
932
00:48:41,814 --> 00:48:43,454
Joe, I can't.
933
00:48:45,515 --> 00:48:47,195
Oh. OK.
934
00:48:47,516 --> 00:48:50,116
OK. That's fine.
935
00:48:50,516 --> 00:48:53,515
I mean the beard. It has to go.
936
00:48:57,075 --> 00:48:58,555
So...?
937
00:48:58,595 --> 00:48:59,755
Yes!
938
00:49:05,035 --> 00:49:07,155
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
939
00:49:08,755 --> 00:49:10,115
Hello?
940
00:49:10,331 --> 00:49:12,606
Martin, thank goodness.
I was so worried.
941
00:49:12,835 --> 00:49:14,507
BREATHLESSLY: 'I crashed the car.'
942
00:49:14,835 --> 00:49:16,155
Oh, my God. Are you OK?
943
00:49:16,195 --> 00:49:17,855
Er, wait a minute.
944
00:49:18,195 --> 00:49:20,662
- Hello?
- 'I'm here, Martin.'
945
00:49:20,955 --> 00:49:23,195
I think I have hypothermia.
946
00:49:23,235 --> 00:49:25,035
My, er... my mother...
947
00:49:25,075 --> 00:49:27,315
Oh, Martin, I know. I'm so sorry.
948
00:49:27,605 --> 00:49:29,365
No, she came to visit me.
949
00:49:30,310 --> 00:49:32,230
What? What do you mean?
Like, as a ghost?
950
00:49:32,395 --> 00:49:35,213
No, it was a symptom of hypothermia.
951
00:49:35,955 --> 00:49:37,355
She said...
952
00:49:37,395 --> 00:49:39,515
She said I was losing James.
953
00:49:39,555 --> 00:49:41,155
She wasn't real, though.
954
00:49:41,210 --> 00:49:45,450
I know. But it doesn't mean
she wasn't right, though, does it?
955
00:49:45,475 --> 00:49:46,875
Martin, where are you now?
956
00:49:48,100 --> 00:49:51,425
Well, the car wouldn't start
and my mother was being annoying,
957
00:49:51,595 --> 00:49:53,555
so I was trying to find
Leonard Maitland's house,
958
00:49:53,595 --> 00:49:54,955
but I think I'm lost.
959
00:49:54,995 --> 00:49:58,835
OK. You need to go back to the car,
yeah, and I'll come and find you.
960
00:49:58,875 --> 00:50:00,995
I'm not entirely sure where I am...
961
00:50:01,035 --> 00:50:03,471
and I-I don't know where the car is.
962
00:50:05,090 --> 00:50:08,355
'Martin? Martin, I can't hear you.'
963
00:50:08,794 --> 00:50:10,195
I can see light.
964
00:50:10,235 --> 00:50:13,755
No, no, no, that doesn't sound good.
Don't go into the light, Martin.
965
00:50:14,085 --> 00:50:15,995
I think it's Leonard Maitland's house.
966
00:50:16,035 --> 00:50:18,435
All right, in that case,
definitely go towards it
967
00:50:18,475 --> 00:50:20,115
and I'll come collect you now.
968
00:50:20,155 --> 00:50:22,315
No. He needs urgent medical attention.
969
00:50:22,355 --> 00:50:23,635
That's why I'm here.
970
00:50:23,675 --> 00:50:26,475
Martin, you were just in a crash
and you said you had hypothermia.
971
00:50:26,515 --> 00:50:28,452
I just need to warm up.
972
00:50:28,795 --> 00:50:30,195
I'll be fine.
973
00:50:30,388 --> 00:50:31,995
Really, you're sure?
974
00:50:32,035 --> 00:50:34,955
Yeah. You can come and get me
after the parade.
975
00:50:34,995 --> 00:50:37,120
'Right, just, please,
just stay in touch.'
976
00:50:37,726 --> 00:50:39,566
DISCONNECTED TONE
977
00:51:01,821 --> 00:51:03,261
Hold on!
978
00:51:07,061 --> 00:51:09,621
Bloody hell, what happened to you?
Come in.
979
00:51:09,661 --> 00:51:11,821
You shouldn't be walking around.
980
00:51:11,861 --> 00:51:14,212
I had to answer the door, didn't I?
981
00:51:18,701 --> 00:51:20,812
Lie down there and elevate your leg.
982
00:51:27,271 --> 00:51:28,861
You look awful, Doc.
983
00:51:30,341 --> 00:51:32,279
My car came off the road.
984
00:51:32,581 --> 00:51:34,712
I just need to warm up for a bit.
985
00:51:35,450 --> 00:51:37,729
I would make you a hot drink, but...
986
00:51:38,101 --> 00:51:39,861
feel free to help yourself.
987
00:51:39,901 --> 00:51:41,341
Thank you.
988
00:51:42,844 --> 00:51:45,444
I'm a bit worried about
your blood loss, though.
989
00:51:45,781 --> 00:51:47,666
Let me take your pulse.
990
00:51:51,781 --> 00:51:54,114
Yeah, you don't have a radial pulse.
991
00:51:54,485 --> 00:51:56,901
I'll set up a drip
and get some fluids into you,
992
00:51:56,941 --> 00:51:58,921
but first
I'll have a look at that wound.
993
00:51:59,774 --> 00:52:02,141
Sorry to drag you up here, Doc.
994
00:52:02,181 --> 00:52:05,541
It's Christmas Eve.
You should be with your family.
995
00:52:05,581 --> 00:52:06,861
Stop talking.
996
00:52:11,261 --> 00:52:13,021
HE RETCHES
997
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:15,372
It's bad, right?
998
00:52:15,990 --> 00:52:19,153
Yes, you've, er, torn a varicose vein.
999
00:52:19,181 --> 00:52:21,115
That's why you're bleeding so much.
1000
00:52:22,701 --> 00:52:24,061
HE GASPS
1001
00:52:25,913 --> 00:52:28,958
Well, yeah, luckily, he's OK,
but it could've been a lot worse.
1002
00:52:29,369 --> 00:52:31,093
Well, that's a relief.
1003
00:52:31,781 --> 00:52:34,741
And don't worry about Mary.
I'm more than happy
1004
00:52:34,781 --> 00:52:37,061
to look after her
while you're at the parade.
1005
00:52:37,101 --> 00:52:38,501
Oh, that's wonderful.
1006
00:52:39,295 --> 00:52:41,861
Oh, hello.
I didn't realise you were here.
1007
00:52:41,886 --> 00:52:43,847
Sal dropped in for some of my eggnog.
1008
00:52:43,872 --> 00:52:47,101
- I don't know if the doctor told you?
- He did.
1009
00:52:47,141 --> 00:52:48,202
Oh.
1010
00:52:48,781 --> 00:52:50,421
Sorry.
1011
00:52:50,461 --> 00:52:52,300
Why, what happened?
1012
00:52:52,301 --> 00:52:54,981
Oh, it's nothing. Thank you, Ruth.
1013
00:52:55,021 --> 00:52:56,981
Come on, James. It's almost time.
1014
00:52:57,021 --> 00:52:59,181
I'm going to see Santa.
1015
00:52:59,221 --> 00:53:01,457
Well, tell him I said hello.
1016
00:53:02,227 --> 00:53:03,315
Bye.
1017
00:53:07,442 --> 00:53:09,222
I don't want to pry...
1018
00:53:09,247 --> 00:53:12,541
I may have accidentally tried
to kiss the doctor earlier.
1019
00:53:12,581 --> 00:53:14,221
Oh, Sally.
1020
00:53:14,261 --> 00:53:16,221
Well, there was mistletoe.
1021
00:53:16,261 --> 00:53:17,901
And he'd just helped me.
1022
00:53:17,941 --> 00:53:22,341
I had what I thought was
a malignant lump in my throat
1023
00:53:22,381 --> 00:53:27,301
and it turned out to be
gastroesophageal reflux disease.
1024
00:53:27,341 --> 00:53:31,221
Well, usually, a handshake
or "thank you very much" will do.
1025
00:53:31,261 --> 00:53:32,941
And he also...
1026
00:53:32,981 --> 00:53:35,501
He said that my prolapsed disc
was healed
1027
00:53:35,541 --> 00:53:38,261
and I don't need to wear
my neck brace any more.
1028
00:53:38,301 --> 00:53:40,541
But I don't know. I just...
1029
00:53:40,581 --> 00:53:42,771
I can't seem to take it off.
1030
00:53:43,528 --> 00:53:45,541
Would you like me to do it?
1031
00:53:52,341 --> 00:53:53,381
Sorry.
1032
00:53:53,421 --> 00:53:54,941
Oh, er...
1033
00:53:54,981 --> 00:53:57,101
Oh-oh-oh, sorry...
1034
00:53:57,141 --> 00:54:00,061
I-I know it's stupid
and it's sentimental,
1035
00:54:00,101 --> 00:54:01,645
but, erm...
1036
00:54:03,621 --> 00:54:05,037
..I will miss it.
1037
00:54:06,591 --> 00:54:09,741
It's a permanent symbol
of a medical condition,
1038
00:54:09,945 --> 00:54:14,507
which means it's also
a permanent link to a certain doctor
1039
00:54:14,532 --> 00:54:16,340
you may have feelings for.
1040
00:54:17,501 --> 00:54:19,701
It's not the neck brace
you're giving up...
1041
00:54:21,101 --> 00:54:22,789
..it's Martin.
1042
00:54:34,661 --> 00:54:35,661
Do it.
1043
00:54:37,581 --> 00:54:39,521
- Good girl.
- Yeah.
1044
00:54:39,861 --> 00:54:42,421
- I, no-no...
- Stay still.
1045
00:54:42,461 --> 00:54:44,621
- I-I-I... Oh, oh...
- There.
1046
00:55:02,666 --> 00:55:06,786
You're right, it's time.
1047
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:10,440
Yeah.
1048
00:55:17,741 --> 00:55:19,581
So, you need to rest up.
1049
00:55:19,621 --> 00:55:23,621
No strenuous activity
for at least two weeks.
1050
00:55:23,801 --> 00:55:26,121
- No more Santa, then.
- No.
1051
00:55:27,981 --> 00:55:30,581
Have you worked out
what this rash is yet?
1052
00:55:30,621 --> 00:55:33,061
Er, no, I haven't had
the results back from your biopsy,
1053
00:55:33,101 --> 00:55:36,321
but I'm fairly certain
that it's dermatitis herpetiformis.
1054
00:55:36,346 --> 00:55:38,981
Is it catching? No.
1055
00:55:39,232 --> 00:55:41,676
So there was no need
to close the grotto down.
1056
00:55:41,701 --> 00:55:43,861
No, no, precautions were necessary.
1057
00:55:43,901 --> 00:55:46,621
Anyway, I think it was just
a symptom of something bigger.
1058
00:55:46,661 --> 00:55:50,287
All indicators point towards
coeliac disease,
1059
00:55:50,312 --> 00:55:52,826
which is a condition
where your immune system
1060
00:55:52,851 --> 00:55:56,051
starts to attack your own tissue
when you eat gluten.
1061
00:55:56,091 --> 00:56:00,091
It would certainly explain
your low blood iron
1062
00:56:00,131 --> 00:56:02,168
and your stomach issues
and your weight loss.
1063
00:56:02,169 --> 00:56:05,457
And your stronger than normal
reaction to wheat-based alcohol.
1064
00:56:05,458 --> 00:56:08,625
My body's attacking itself?
Bloody heck, that sounds serious.
1065
00:56:08,626 --> 00:56:11,324
Yeah, it is. Yeah. Yeah.
Unless you change your diet,
1066
00:56:11,325 --> 00:56:13,925
you run the risk of malabsorption
and malnutrition.
1067
00:56:13,926 --> 00:56:16,611
It can be very serious.
I'll run some tests.
1068
00:56:16,651 --> 00:56:18,091
Urgent tests?
1069
00:56:18,131 --> 00:56:19,691
Not this minute, no.
1070
00:56:19,731 --> 00:56:22,491
Great, so I can drive you
back to the village now,
1071
00:56:22,531 --> 00:56:23,847
seeing as I'm not contagious.
1072
00:56:23,848 --> 00:56:25,143
Ah, no, that won't be necessary.
1073
00:56:25,144 --> 00:56:27,166
Louisa's coming to collect me
after the parade.
1074
00:56:27,167 --> 00:56:28,757
After the parade?
1075
00:56:28,918 --> 00:56:31,079
Doc, it's Christmas Eve.
1076
00:56:31,771 --> 00:56:34,227
I'm more than grateful,
you risking yourself,
1077
00:56:34,228 --> 00:56:37,344
coming up here and stitching me up,
but you should be with your family.
1078
00:56:37,345 --> 00:56:39,891
Yes, now I appreciate that,
but I need to be thorough.
1079
00:56:42,358 --> 00:56:43,602
Doc...
1080
00:56:43,885 --> 00:56:46,335
I hate Christmas. I always have.
1081
00:56:46,752 --> 00:56:48,201
What do you mean?
1082
00:56:48,401 --> 00:56:50,359
See, my wife loved it.
1083
00:56:50,641 --> 00:56:52,961
I was only ever Santa to please her.
1084
00:56:53,232 --> 00:56:55,572
And to be honest,
I still couldn't stand it.
1085
00:56:55,921 --> 00:56:59,164
I'd moan, complain, you know how it is.
1086
00:57:00,255 --> 00:57:05,403
Then, five years ago, she died.
December the 23rd, without warning.
1087
00:57:06,496 --> 00:57:08,650
Yes, I remember, it was very sad.
1088
00:57:08,801 --> 00:57:11,981
After that,
putting on the beard, the suit,
1089
00:57:11,982 --> 00:57:15,258
becoming someone else for a while,
well, it was an escape.
1090
00:57:18,121 --> 00:57:21,769
And once I stopped fighting it,
I started to get it.
1091
00:57:22,504 --> 00:57:26,264
Making toys for the kids,
giving folk some happy memories...
1092
00:57:26,289 --> 00:57:30,043
it's... it's a privilege, Doc.
An honour.
1093
00:57:30,641 --> 00:57:34,121
I just wish I'd understood that
when she was still alive.
1094
00:57:36,401 --> 00:57:40,441
Yes, well, erm... I'm sorry, you'll
have to wait until next year now.
1095
00:57:41,007 --> 00:57:43,081
And is that your plan?
1096
00:57:43,262 --> 00:57:44,841
Wait until next year
1097
00:57:44,881 --> 00:57:47,641
and MAYBE celebrate Christmas
with your family then?
1098
00:57:47,681 --> 00:57:49,801
I had an emergency to attend to.
1099
00:57:49,841 --> 00:57:51,401
And now the emergency's over.
1100
00:57:51,441 --> 00:57:52,761
Er, yeah, well, even if I...
1101
00:57:52,801 --> 00:57:55,481
Even if I... I mean, it's just...
It'll be just too late now.
1102
00:57:55,521 --> 00:57:57,321
It wouldn't be too late
if you left right now.
1103
00:57:57,361 --> 00:57:59,361
I still have to run those tests on you.
1104
00:57:59,401 --> 00:58:00,932
The tests can wait.
1105
00:58:03,657 --> 00:58:05,201
You're avoiding your family
1106
00:58:05,241 --> 00:58:07,761
because you don't want
to ruin things for them.
1107
00:58:11,441 --> 00:58:14,276
Do you wanna know what
the true magic of Christmas is?
1108
00:58:14,528 --> 00:58:16,635
It's being exactly who you are,
1109
00:58:16,669 --> 00:58:18,521
but, still, your family want you around,
1110
00:58:18,561 --> 00:58:20,921
even if you are an irritating bugger.
1111
00:58:22,292 --> 00:58:24,320
That truly is a miracle.
1112
00:58:25,630 --> 00:58:29,081
And sometimes we don't know how
lucky we are until it's too late.
1113
00:58:32,858 --> 00:58:36,569
The only way you can ruin their
Christmas is by not being there.
1114
00:58:38,881 --> 00:58:41,218
Yes, I see what you mean.
1115
00:58:41,721 --> 00:58:44,373
Great. Now,
it's gonna be cold out there,
1116
00:58:44,398 --> 00:58:45,749
so we'll need to wrap up.
1117
00:58:45,774 --> 00:58:48,041
You're not coming. You need
to recuperate and rest that leg.
1118
00:58:48,081 --> 00:58:50,241
Doc, it's Christmas Eve. I have plans.
1119
00:58:50,281 --> 00:58:52,841
- Absolutely not.
- I'm the one with the wheels.
1120
00:58:52,881 --> 00:58:56,001
Either we go together,
or we don't go at all.
1121
00:59:07,521 --> 00:59:09,985
Here we go. I've got some spares.
1122
00:59:10,702 --> 00:59:12,561
As I was saying, it'll be cold,
1123
00:59:12,601 --> 00:59:14,438
on account of there being no windscreen.
1124
00:59:14,801 --> 00:59:15,841
What?
1125
00:59:17,128 --> 00:59:19,688
Maybe better I just show you, Doc.
1126
00:59:25,521 --> 00:59:26,881
Really?!
1127
00:59:26,921 --> 00:59:30,641
Mind out, it's Santa coming through.
It's Santa coming through.
1128
00:59:30,681 --> 00:59:32,650
Attention, please.
1129
00:59:32,651 --> 00:59:36,721
Attention, everyone.
The parade is about to begin.
1130
00:59:36,761 --> 00:59:38,201
CHEERING
1131
00:59:38,241 --> 00:59:41,481
But before we begin,
I'd like to make a little speech.
1132
00:59:41,521 --> 00:59:43,001
- This is boring!
- I'm cold.
1133
00:59:43,041 --> 00:59:44,361
Ten years ago...
1134
00:59:44,401 --> 00:59:46,721
Santa? Maybe we could just,
you know, begin?
1135
00:59:46,761 --> 00:59:49,841
Well, we'll begin when Santa says so.
1136
00:59:49,881 --> 00:59:52,561
All those in favour
of starting the parade, say aye!
1137
00:59:52,601 --> 00:59:54,281
ALL: AYE!
1138
00:59:54,321 --> 00:59:56,641
OK, everybody behind me,
stay in formation!
1139
00:59:56,681 --> 00:59:59,001
What about Daddy?
1140
00:59:59,041 --> 01:00:01,921
Yeah, he said he really wanted
to be here, but...
1141
01:00:01,961 --> 01:00:05,401
Don't worry about Daddy, little man.
Santa's here now.
1142
01:00:05,441 --> 01:00:10,081
Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!
1143
01:00:10,121 --> 01:00:13,761
Merry Christmas, everyone!
1144
01:00:13,801 --> 01:00:16,041
- Ho-ho-ho!
- What the...?
1145
01:00:16,081 --> 01:00:19,287
Sit down! Your leg!
You'll burst the stitches.
1146
01:00:19,312 --> 01:00:21,122
Keep your eyes on the road.
1147
01:00:21,199 --> 01:00:25,591
Merry Christmas, everybody!
1148
01:00:25,912 --> 01:00:28,507
- Presents for everyone!
- Martin?!
1149
01:00:28,508 --> 01:00:29,631
Hello.
1150
01:00:29,632 --> 01:00:34,308
Merry Christmas! Ho-ho-ho!
1151
01:00:34,582 --> 01:00:36,933
- Merry Christmas!
- Put your seatbelt on.
1152
01:00:37,118 --> 01:00:39,675
- Come on, Doc!
- All right.
1153
01:00:40,447 --> 01:00:43,776
CHEERING
1154
01:00:43,777 --> 01:00:47,152
All together now! Ho-ho-ho!
1155
01:00:47,192 --> 01:00:49,192
PARADERS:♪ Jingle all the way
1156
01:00:49,247 --> 01:00:53,592
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh, hey!
1157
01:00:53,593 --> 01:00:57,781
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
1158
01:00:57,782 --> 01:01:01,125
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse... ♪
1159
01:01:01,178 --> 01:01:04,218
Told you I'd show you
the magic of Christmas, didn't I?
1160
01:01:04,258 --> 01:01:07,738
Er, yes. Yes, you did, yes.
But take it easy. Stay here.
1161
01:01:07,778 --> 01:01:09,145
- Best seat in the house, Doc.
- Yeah.
1162
01:01:09,170 --> 01:01:12,161
- Mummy!
- Did you enjoy that? Did you?
1163
01:01:13,231 --> 01:01:17,191
- Well, that was quite an entrance.
- I wanted to be here on time.
1164
01:01:17,458 --> 01:01:19,138
Daddy!
1165
01:01:22,530 --> 01:01:24,887
- Did you enjoy that?
- Yes!
1166
01:01:29,939 --> 01:01:31,980
There we go, my love, you take care now.
1167
01:01:31,981 --> 01:01:33,809
I thought I said no sky lanterns.
1168
01:01:33,810 --> 01:01:36,554
During the parade, yes.
But the parade's over now.
1169
01:01:36,818 --> 01:01:39,723
Oh, come on. It's Christmas,
everybody's enjoying themselves.
1170
01:01:39,724 --> 01:01:41,338
No means no!
1171
01:01:41,378 --> 01:01:44,338
You know what, you're a great Santa.
1172
01:01:45,567 --> 01:01:47,839
- Really?
- Best we've ever had.
1173
01:01:49,028 --> 01:01:52,072
Well, I suppose you have already
given them out, haven't you?
1174
01:01:52,073 --> 01:01:55,418
- So...
- Here, go on. On the house.
1175
01:01:55,458 --> 01:01:57,848
Thanks. Merry Christmas, Bert.
1176
01:01:57,849 --> 01:01:59,938
And Merry Christmas to you, too.
1177
01:02:01,073 --> 01:02:04,870
OK. I believe you. The turkey escaped.
1178
01:02:05,636 --> 01:02:09,178
- I let it go.
- Oh, I knew it, Mor. I knew it.
1179
01:02:09,218 --> 01:02:10,384
I'm sorry.
1180
01:02:10,735 --> 01:02:15,007
I think I was just feeling
a bit broody and hormonal.
1181
01:02:15,338 --> 01:02:17,044
Right, yeah.
1182
01:02:17,298 --> 01:02:20,018
You know, because of the baby.
1183
01:02:21,521 --> 01:02:23,871
What, the... the baby turkey?
1184
01:02:25,165 --> 01:02:28,098
- No.
- What, er...?
1185
01:02:32,504 --> 01:02:36,104
I was gonna wait till Christmas Day
to tell you, but, erm...
1186
01:02:36,738 --> 01:02:38,578
surprise!
1187
01:02:39,683 --> 01:02:40,641
Baby.
1188
01:02:40,642 --> 01:02:42,552
- Yeah, a baby...
- What?
1189
01:02:42,553 --> 01:02:45,978
- Our baby.
- Oh, Mor! Mor!
1190
01:02:49,098 --> 01:02:50,882
We're getting married. Again.
1191
01:02:50,883 --> 01:02:53,578
- Congratulations, again!
- Can I tell 'em?
1192
01:02:54,873 --> 01:02:57,993
- We're having a baby!
- Oh, it's not a competition, Al.
1193
01:02:58,018 --> 01:03:00,926
- Well...
- Congratulations!
1194
01:03:03,713 --> 01:03:05,264
Here, take this.
1195
01:03:08,651 --> 01:03:10,639
You know, some people,
when they light these lanterns,
1196
01:03:10,640 --> 01:03:12,736
they like to dedicate them to people.
1197
01:03:13,138 --> 01:03:17,161
Absent friends or family...
or maybe someone they've lost.
1198
01:03:18,675 --> 01:03:21,858
I'm not sure if my mother
would appreciate a lantern.
1199
01:03:22,923 --> 01:03:24,883
It's not for her, Martin.
1200
01:03:44,818 --> 01:03:46,058
Thank you.
1201
01:03:49,128 --> 01:03:50,490
I love you.
1202
01:03:51,751 --> 01:03:53,805
I love you, too, Martin.
1203
01:03:59,809 --> 01:04:01,215
Hang on!
1204
01:04:02,247 --> 01:04:03,738
That one, where's it going?
1205
01:04:03,778 --> 01:04:06,145
Is that your lantern burning up?
1206
01:04:07,763 --> 01:04:10,530
Yeah, it looks like it's falling.
1207
01:04:10,819 --> 01:04:14,749
As long as the wind doesn't catch it
and it lands in the sea.
1208
01:04:16,524 --> 01:04:18,510
I think it's coming this way.
1209
01:04:24,268 --> 01:04:26,713
Oh, that's bad. Oh, dear.
1210
01:04:28,169 --> 01:04:31,084
Erm, sorry. Sorry, everybody,
but I, er...
1211
01:04:31,217 --> 01:04:32,457
James!
1212
01:04:32,862 --> 01:04:36,338
Martin! James! James, come here.
1213
01:04:37,386 --> 01:04:40,497
Where's Penhale?
Penhale, call the fire brigade!
1214
01:04:40,498 --> 01:04:43,364
Everybody, stand back. Stand back!
1215
01:04:47,493 --> 01:04:50,872
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