Original subtitles

what if I told you that I stole my own

dad's winning lottery ticket so I could

cash in on the jackpot myself meanwhile

I Justified the theft by telling myself

that my dad was such a jerk that he

didn't deserve to win a multi-million

dollar jackpot for example since I was a

three-year-old child my dad forbid me to

cry because according to him crying was

manipulative and weak I also remember

the night I got appendicitis I was

curled up on my bed in pain and tears

and only after hours of me suffering my

dad said fine I'll call the ambulance

but I swear to God if I see one more

tear rolling down your face you'll

regret it and so the ambulance came and

took me to the hospital the whole way

there my father kept staring at me to

see if I showed any more signs of

weakness worse though was that my dad

forbade my mom to show any affection

towards me nothing made my dad angrier

than seeing my mom wish me a good day at

school or ask me how my day was So

eventually she gave up and stopped

showing that she loved me she just

couldn't take Dad's punishments anymore

and I can't blame her for that however

it hurt to not feel loved by my parents

and I think we all develop different

coping mechanisms to deal with our pain

some people become workaholic so they

can stay at work all day and avoid the

problems in their marriage others live

in complete denial of reality and then

there are people like me who turn to

drugs to temporarily escape the pain for

me it started with junk food But as time

went on I switched over to worse and

worse stuff whatever I could get my

hands on to shortly take my mind off my

problems meanwhile I blamed everything

bad in my life on my dad almost as a

Revenge I kept stealing stuff from him

and once a week I checked his lottery

tickets I did it for years to see if he

ever hit it big sometimes he'd win a few

hundred dollars but it was never enough

to be worth stealing well until he hit

the jackpot you see the lottery numbers

are drawn on Saturday nights and my dad

only checked his lottery numbers on

Sunday morning so in the night in

between I faked a burglary at our own

house I did so by Smashing the little

basement window we had because there no

one could hear the noise of the broken

glass I climbed inside made a huge mess

to make it look like a real robbery and

then stole both my moms and Dad's purses

luckily the next morning when my dad

found out that someone had broken into

his house he got so upset that he

completely forgot about the lottery

ticket he had no suspicion whatsoever a

week later I finally went to my State's

Lottery headquarters to cash in on the

prize I was lucky that I'd been named

after my dad because he had written his

signature on the back of the lotto

ticket and it looks similar enough to

the one on my own ID I thought that was

enough to prove that I'd been the one

who'd purchased the ticket but these

Lotto people also checked whether the

store my dad had purchased the ticket

from had a video camera installed

luckily it didn't because otherwise I

would have been in serious trouble

anyway just five days later they wired

me the jackpot into my bank account you

might wonder why I haven't mentioned yet

how much I actually won that's because I

lost it all later on and I hate thinking

about it but my jackpot winnings were 15

million dollars the first thing I did

was to move away from my parents of

course I hadn't told them that I was

rich now but I did ask my mom if she

wanted to leave dad and come with me

unfortunately she said no and stayed

with that douchebag either way I was 18

years old and a deeply damaged human

being my parents had emotionally

neglected me for most of my life for

years no one had given me a hug or told

me that they loved me but now I was free

of them and decided to move to Miami I

got myself a fake ID and went partying

every night to meet beautiful women it's

just so easy when you're rich it felt as

if everyone loved me meanwhile I was

eager to impress all these people I met

with my money because deep down I still

felt that without money I wasn't worthy

of anybody's attention or love so I

became the cool rich guy that buys

drinks for everyone one of my new

friends even asked me to borrow him

forty thousand dollars for a business

idea he had he said he could pay it back

with interest within two weeks deep down

I knew I couldn't trust the guy but I

didn't want to look cheap or like 40K

matter to me so I just gave him the

money and of course I never saw it again

in fact I heard from others that that

scumbag bought himself a new car with my

money worse than the friends I made

during that time were the girls I met

just never date a girl that likes you

for your money never I thought Selena

was different because she always told me

to stop taking so many pills that's why

I thought she actually cared about me

however despite my best efforts I failed

again and again to overcome my

addictions that's why Selena was so

disgusted by me she often called me

pathetic and one time she said why do I

even date you if you will OD anyway

looking back I can see how cruel she was

but at the time I would have done

anything to not lose her I just loved

her too much so to compensate for my

character flaws I spent more and more

money to keep Selena happy one time I

overslept and missed our brunch date so

as an apology I took her on a trip to

Italy we flew private and all in all it

cost me 350

000 at that point I had spent half of my

15 million dollar jackpot winnings of

course the closer I came to losing all

my money the more anxious I got and the

more anxious I got the more pills I took

to quell my anxiety it was a vicious

circle when Selena again threatened to

break up with me over my addictions I

begged her to give me one last chance

she agreed under the condition that I

checked myself into rehab so that's what

I did while in rehab my mom came to

visit me and it broke her heart to find

out that I was an addict she blamed

herself for my problems and kept

apologizing for having been such a bad

mother I asked her how is Dad doing and

she told me that he had recently lost

his job and had become even more violent

than usual she said he was always angry

and often went to certain Shady places I

said perfect mom you're finally fed up

with him now dump him and move in with

me I need you as support and maybe you

need me too but I haven't had a job in

decades how could I afford to leave him

I told you I won some money gambling I

will take care of you if it took a few

more months before my mom made the final

jump and moved in with me but it gets

better my dad was so mad at my mom for

leaving him that he immediately filed

for divorce that's why on the day she

signed the divorce papers I sent one

million dollars right into her bank

account with my dad getting none of it

because they were divorced now my mom

was financially independent now and has

since even managed to fight find a new

boyfriend who treats her well however

once I got out of rehab my anxiety

quickly came back probably because I

still loved Selena and spend way too

much money on her one night I calculated

how much longer I could afford to pay

for her expensive lifestyle needs and it

came out to only about nine months then

I'd run out of money and be broke

realizing I was out of options I had a

full-blown panic attack and relapsed

into drugs I went to a bar and drank to

calm myself down unfortunately that's

when I had a really dumb idea I thought

my life would be worthless soon anyway

once I'd lost all my money so why not

risk it all I decided to go to a casino

and asked how I could bet a large sum of

money they told me I could transfer the

money to their bank account and so I

waited until my bank opened the next

morning and told them to transfer all of

my remaining money around 5 million

dollars to the casino's bank account

everything I owed was on the line and at

11 am in the morning I went back into

the casino they confirmed the bank wire

was successful and asked me what I

wanted to play I only knew how to play

roulette so I nervously walked over to

the table I could have bet all my money

on either black or red and doubled my

money but I wanted to get back to my

initial 15 million dollars so I did

something riskier and bet on the numbers

1 to 12. here I had an almost one in

three chance to Triple my money because

there are 37 numbers on a roulette table

and my chance of hitting a number

between 1 and 12 is almost 33 percent

well as I mentioned in the beginning of

this story I lost it all and if that

wasn't shameful enough afterward I

immediately ran to my mom and asked if I

could have back half of the one million

dollars I had given her she's my mom so

of course she said yes without

hesitation so I went back to the casino

and lost another half a million dollars

that my mom had desperately needed for

her retirement government I can't put

into words how much I hate myself but

you know what after I lost it all I

moved back in with my mom I told her

about all the stupid things I've done

and she didn't care she loves me despite

my flaws I've also realized that one

beautiful day I can tell my dad that I

stole his winning lottery ticket and

spend all the money on women and pills I

can't wait to see his face he will

probably try to kill me but I'll wait

until my mom has spent her remaining

half a million dollars because otherwise

my dad might get half of it because it

came from his lottery ticket while they

were still married at the same time I've

kind of learned to forgive my dad for

being such a bad father and husband mom

recently told me that my dad's mother

excessively drank alcohol during her

pregnancy so maybe my dad's brain didn't

get enough oxygen in her belly and

that's why he became such a douchebag

mom also told me that despite everything

dad had always believed that his strict

parenting style was good he thought he

was doing what was necessary to raise a

disciplined and successful Son Well I

don't know what to make of all this but

I know I have to stop taking pills and

stop blaming my dad for everything bad

in my life