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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:10,320 Wake up! 4 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:12,080 What a beautiful day. 5 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:13,480 It is! 6 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:16,160 This republican lot think they'll get rid of the Queen! 7 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:17,480 But will they bottle it? 8 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,360 They won't get the chance to bottle it. 9 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:20,760 I mean, I know polls are always wrong, but... 10 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,720 -Always. -They can't be that wrong. 11 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,840 -Republicans are toast! -So, what do we think? 12 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,440 Queen or Republic? 13 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,440 Queen! 14 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:33,080 I say. 15 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:39,280 Is one at all worried about Thursday's election, Mummy? 16 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:43,400 To worry would be political, we are ceremonial. 17 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:48,760 The PM assures one the Republican finger is not on the electoral pulse. 18 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,480 And yet, there is a perception 19 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,920 we've lost touch with the problems of the common man. 20 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,280 We are not responsible for, but 21 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,800 complicit in the wider problems of society. 22 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:25,280 Obviously there are inequalities of wealth and privilege... 23 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:26,600 And opportunity. 24 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,520 But we're not government, we are the crown. 25 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,520 Mere symbols. 26 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:37,840 This Republican chappie, Jack Barker, he says that symbols matter. 27 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:40,640 He says that if power is hereditary because 28 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:44,240 it stays with those from the same schools and universities, 29 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:48,960 the same families then our hereditary privilege is symbolic of that. 30 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,160 And therefore of injustice and inequality. 31 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,960 He says we're a tainted brand. 32 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,080 You sound like a Republican. 33 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,640 But I'm not allowed to vote, Mummy. 34 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,320 Mummy, sit. 35 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:10,560 Is it time to flee? 36 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:13,320 Grab the crown jewels and go on the lam? 37 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,160 Where are the children? 38 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,680 They're with the nanny. 39 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,080 I can't send them to my ex-wife. 40 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,840 She calls her lawyer every time there's a schedule change. 41 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:24,440 Is she still in Spain? With that waiter? 42 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,720 He's not a waiter, he's a billionaire. 43 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,560 He offered you an aperitif sis. 44 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:31,200 Swarthy, white shirt, taking drink orders... 45 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,080 Don't send the boys anywhere. 46 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:34,480 Three words! 47 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:39,440 Equality, equality, equality! 48 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,680 And we will be getting rid of the Royals! 49 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,600 Some of you think we wont do it. 50 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,880 That we'll chicken out. We won't! 51 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:53,680 Day one, they're gone! 52 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,960 He is unfathomably popular. 53 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,640 Nothing's changed! 54 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,920 We still believe in tradition, Royalty... 55 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,400 Continuity! 56 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,440 Nothing's changed! 57 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,360 Noth... 58 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,280 Come on Dead Rubber! 59 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:17,400 Our fate lies with the people of these ancient islands. 60 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:23,000 We must put our trust in their Great British wisdom and in their good sense. 61 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:30,040 Polling has been busy and an unusually high turnout is predicted. 62 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,200 Clear blue water! 63 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:36,080 Our specially commissioned exit poll predicts the government will survive 64 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:37,960 with a comfortable majority. 65 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,200 Up to a hundrd seats we're saying, 66 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:45,040 which means that the Queen and the monarchy, are safe. 67 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:48,200 Good morning It's 6 o'clock on the 15th of October 68 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:49,480 and we're here with the headlines... 69 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:50,600 Which are all about yesterday's election. 70 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:52,880 Carruthers? Hello? 71 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,200 Carruthers, are you there? 72 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:01,840 Good morning. 73 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,160 It's your Queen. 74 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,280 Bother! 75 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,840 The Prime Minister has conceded defeat and will... 76 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:32,520 Travel to Buckingham Palace to offer her resignation. 77 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,760 It's not clear if Jack Barker will be asked to form a government 78 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,040 or will just tell the Queen he's forming one. 79 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,320 Do you want me to show you how the heating works? 80 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:45,880 Don't you mean 'congratulations'? 81 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:51,560 I'd offer you a lift to the palace, but I don't want to. 82 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,600 What are you gonna do about the minimum wage Prime Minister? 83 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,920 Prime Minister, what about minimum wage? 84 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,720 Sorry again Ma'am. 85 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:06,880 What a mess! 86 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,600 Do you think we'll be alright, Prime Minister? 87 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,400 Well, I've had a couple of calls from the City 88 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,600 and I'll do a book of course... 89 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:27,000 Do you know what the Royals rely on when they meet ordinary people? 90 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:28,240 Er... mouthwash and bodyguards? 91 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,840 The magical aura of history sending them daft with nerves. 92 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:32,960 Not me, son. 93 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,960 I'm Jack bloody Barker! 94 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:38,760 I've got a massive majority and a mandate to create a Republic. 95 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,320 I am history! 96 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:41,760 You won't say that in public, will you? 97 00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:44,040 Why the bloody hell not? 98 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:51,080 Royals always have sang froid, even when being butchered by Republicans... 99 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:53,080 Auntie! Inappropriate! 100 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:54,400 Mummy, sit. 101 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:55,520 Very well. 102 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,400 How does a civilised nation get rid of its unwanted royals? 103 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,280 Not exile. Please! My French is bloody awful. 104 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,960 Bloody and awful is another option. 105 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,840 -Where's your balcony? -Why? 106 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,640 -Are you going to throw us off? -Not you. 107 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:04,320 But the public love us. 108 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:05,880 All of us. 109 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,400 Even the dull ones. 110 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,640 They'll come round. This isn't over. 111 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,960 No, it is over. 112 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,560 We are no longer the Royal Family 113 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,160 and we will not attempt to regain the Crown. 114 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,560 I hope that is clearly understood. 115 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,680 Mr Barker has laid down some rules... 116 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,800 You're going to live like common people. 117 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,240 You're going to see a different part of the country. 118 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:32,840 The real part. 119 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,480 You'll be under loose house arrest. 120 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:40,240 No contacting all the old toffs who've kept you in power and out of bother. 121 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:45,560 No letters, no phone calls, no gatherings of more than four people... 122 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,680 What? 123 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,480 I can't go on a little visit? 124 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,560 And chat to my pals? 125 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,760 -But that's all you do. -I know! 126 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,840 How will I live? 127 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,120 You'll have modest homes, state benefits, 128 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,200 kids'll go to a normal school... 129 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,400 Is Eton normal? 130 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:11,280 Tell me, Mr Barker, how will the country work without a monarchy? 131 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,680 -Who will open Parliament? -Who cares? 132 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,360 You've campaigned against the monarchy your whole life 133 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,160 and you haven't a plan to replace us? 134 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,440 The people have spoken. 135 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,520 And what they've said is stupid and disastrous. 136 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:22,880 They're gonna be listened to. 137 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,440 What if they change their mind? 138 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:25,880 Tough. 139 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:27,600 Too late. 140 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,360 Take yours and pass it on. 141 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:34,680 What's this? 142 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:38,320 -New identities? -Addresses, keys, some money. 143 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,120 A 'not at all welcome' pack. 144 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,720 My God! Look at them! They're enormous! 145 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,680 -They're going to eat us! -They're our neighbours. 146 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,040 And they've kindly formed a welcoming party. 147 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:25,920 Hello. 148 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,200 Have you been waiting long? 149 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,040 -I live 'ere. -So kind of you to welcome us. 150 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,560 Hello. Have you been waiting long? 151 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:34,720 We're not waiting. 152 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,840 We're seeing why police have blocked off our close! 153 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,280 It's so kind of you to welcome us. 154 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,720 Now we know! You lot! 155 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:45,080 It's hard enough living here without a load of parasites moving in! 156 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,680 So get back on your bus and clear off! 157 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,120 -Alright? -Go on! 158 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:52,000 We don't want ya! 159 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,680 Move it! 160 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,280 Spongin' sods! 161 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:00,080 I want to go home! 162 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,400 I'm afraid, this is, dear... 163 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,480 This is... home. 164 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,400 This appears to be yours, mummy. 165 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,680 Well, we put up with worse during the war. 166 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:28,120 If there's a television and a drinks cabinet it'll do me very nicely. 167 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,880 Come now. 168 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,280 We could have a veg patch. 169 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:42,280 Er herbs, carrots, sprouts, 170 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:46,160 courgettes cauliflowers, potatoes... turnips! 171 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,520 Please stop shouting vegetables, Daddy! 172 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,400 -Are we poor? -Poor? 173 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,800 There's a van coming with my paintings. 174 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,040 Lithographs of mine have sold for hundreds. 175 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,800 Lithographs! Imagine how much the originals will go for? 176 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,920 Chaps, I do understand, 177 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:07,760 big changes, missing mumma, divorce never easy, etcetera etcetera. 178 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,840 Daddy, doesn't Mummy do the feelings chats? 179 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,080 Yes, but I thought I'd have a stab... 180 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,600 No thank you. 181 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,280 We'll wait. 182 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,480 It's stuck fast! 183 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,280 Ask them to help. 184 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,600 Go on! 185 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:35,200 Erm... Excuse me? 186 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,400 My sister and I can't get in. 187 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,760 I rather think we might need an axe. 188 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:41,840 Do you have one we could borrow? 189 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,080 We don't know. 190 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,920 What is an ix? 191 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,360 An axe? You don't know what an axe is? 192 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,280 How silly are you? 193 00:11:58,560 --> 00:11:59,800 That's most kind. 194 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,400 Tony Threadgold. My wife, Bev. 195 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,440 We know who you are. 196 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,320 Dear... 197 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:30,320 I say! 198 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,800 Would you mind terribly unloading our furniture? 199 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,040 I think you've misinterpreted our role, sir. 200 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,240 But you chaps have always been jolly helpful in the past? 201 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:38,800 Jog on, big lugs! 202 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,480 What? What the... 203 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,000 I've a good mind to report you! 204 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:57,880 Our furniture's too big. 205 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:01,160 A little man called 'Spiggy' said he'll squeeze it in if you pay him. 206 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:02,480 Well, you know I never carry money. 207 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,560 There's fifty pounds in your pack. 208 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,080 So you have fifty pounds too? 209 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,960 She bought gin. 210 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,920 She bad girl. 211 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,400 Well, 212 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:20,960 can't promise it'll be totally up to snuff like 213 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,240 but I'll gerrit in and that's main thing, innit? 214 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:24,560 Snufflike? 215 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:25,640 Is that a word? 216 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,840 It'll go in, it just won't be brand spankin'. 217 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,480 And do I want that? 218 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,000 I dunno. Do ya? 219 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,040 Away we go then! 220 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,200 I see your house is perfectly dreadful too. 221 00:13:58,360 --> 00:13:59,560 And getting more so! 222 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,520 Need any furniture cutting to size? 223 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,240 I measured it. It fits exactly. 224 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,040 Are you a con man? 225 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,120 No, I'm Spiggy. I do odd jobs. 226 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:09,880 I do my own odd jobs. 227 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,000 -I could help you unload then? -Do I look incapable? 228 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:14,480 No... 229 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,440 The opposite. 230 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,720 Very perceptive. May I borrow this? 231 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:27,800 Thank you for all your efforts today. 232 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,000 Love these new tenners, me. 233 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,520 Because I've been replaced by the Tolpuddle Martyrs? 234 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:51,800 Who? 235 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,240 Never heard of 'em. 236 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,240 It's just that they roll thicker. 237 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,160 Makes you feel richer. 238 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,400 The Prime Minister Jack Barker is here. 239 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,800 -Good morning Prime Minister. -Good morning, Dave. 240 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,080 Parliament was opened yesterday 241 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,920 by the House of Commons longest serving tea lady. 242 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,680 -Is that appropriate? -Entirely. 243 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,120 We understand tradition and will continue to use 244 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,440 unelected women in their sixties for ceremonial functions. 245 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,120 That's a little harsh on the Queen isn't it? 246 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,240 Walking slowly and reading out loud isn't as special... 247 00:15:58,480 --> 00:15:59,720 Hello. 248 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,120 Bev isn't it? 249 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,720 I'm sorry for calling round so early but I wondered if... 250 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,000 Yearly? 251 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:06,280 In the morning? 252 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:09,640 You heard we were up through wall! 253 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,120 Er, we appear to have no electricity. 254 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,960 I wondered if this was normal? 255 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:16,800 Does your card need topping? 256 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,720 You put cash on this at the shop. 257 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,800 They don't send a bill to your estate manager? 258 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,960 What delightful children. 259 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:33,640 Are they yours? 260 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:37,600 Are they away at school? 261 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,240 No, of course not. 262 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,680 Where are they? 263 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,160 Staying with family... 264 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,840 Some big mouth'll tell her. 265 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,760 They're in care. 266 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,320 They got took off us and we've done nothing. 267 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,720 -Nothing! -That is distressing... 268 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:58,400 But I do know that the authorities take great care in these matters. 269 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,760 I'm sure they had their reasons. 270 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,600 And never come 'ere again! 271 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,880 I say! Who's that heavenly gal? 272 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,120 -You mean Bev? -Bev... 273 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:17,520 Bev! 274 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,840 Celestial trumpets couldn't beat that sound. 275 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,880 She's married. And aggressive. 276 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,200 Well err... Could you take the boys to school, please, Mummy? 277 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:28,080 I've got that Spiggy cove coming over to fix Gran' ma'ma's television set. 278 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,240 I bought it last night, it doesn't bally work! 279 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,120 Don't let him cut it in half. 280 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,440 Cooey! 281 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:38,880 I saw you peeping. 282 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,560 I wondered if you'd care to come round for tea? 283 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,360 I know you, lady. 284 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,320 You're a drinker and a gambler. 285 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,640 That's a very partial summary. 286 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,040 I don't hold with Godless living. 287 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,640 Until recently my daughter was head of the church. 288 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,000 Not my church, she wasn't. 289 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,520 Come on. 290 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:19,920 -A very good morning to you. -Get stuffed. 291 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,520 Good morning. 292 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,280 Hi Julie. 293 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,520 Hey, dinner money. 294 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,040 Now! 295 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,400 You could ask those boys to show you around. 296 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,320 I think we'll find our own way. 297 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,320 Come on. 298 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,120 Look at her. 299 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,440 Dignity and decorum, sis! 300 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,520 One thinks one's starving. 301 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:22,960 -Do you have any money? -No. 302 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:24,120 Why? 303 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,040 You surely didn't spend all your money on gin? 304 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,960 Trish Welling, Social Worker! 305 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:44,760 Very pleased to meet you! 306 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,320 I saw ya! 307 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,280 I saw you, Welling! 308 00:19:56,120 --> 00:20:02,000 Tony may or may not be another of my many clients, confidential. 309 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:04,640 Did you take away his children? 310 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,000 Come out Welling! We're innocent! 311 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,520 Innocent! 312 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,880 Sorry for me files, can't leave owt in the car round here. 313 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,120 Got fifty more cases than I'm supposed to have. 314 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,000 We're all run off our feet. 315 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,520 Would you care for some tea? 316 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,080 Ooh, go on. 317 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,800 Spitting feathers I am. 318 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,240 Actually, there's no electricity. 319 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,280 Or milk. 320 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,120 Or tea. 321 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,600 If you're so over worked, why do I need a social worker? 322 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,600 Three good reasons there. 323 00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:42,800 Doesn't really sound like you're coping, does it, luv? 324 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,280 I am no longer your Queen. 325 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,880 I am merely a subject of the... 326 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,000 private person. 327 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,240 Could someone please help me? 328 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:25,960 I know you. 329 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,080 -No... Don't, don't tell me... -I've already told you. 330 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:34,520 Now please show me what to do. 331 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,240 Well, take a ticket. 332 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:39,560 Wait. 333 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,640 Afternoon. Afternoon. 334 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,160 -I'm Violet. -Well, pleasure to meet you. 335 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:02,760 Are you stuck-up like your mum an all? 336 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,520 No! No, I'm jolly friendly. 337 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:07,240 I'm just like you... Lot! 338 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,960 Perhaps you'd like to come round for some tea? 339 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,800 Yeah. Tea. 340 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,160 Come here! 341 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,920 Hello boys! How was school? 342 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:17,400 Rather challenging. 343 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:19,520 Socially not intellectually. 344 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,520 We're going to try a change of approach. 345 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,400 -Muck in a bit! -Good show! 346 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:27,200 Me too! Right ho ladies, follow me back to mine! 347 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,760 And nobody respects the British people more. 348 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:44,880 I told them what I was going to do, 349 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,880 they asked me to do it and I'm going to do it! 350 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,240 Here here! 351 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:53,440 There's one thing this lot don't like, it's somebody who keeps their word! 352 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,480 And there's more to come. 353 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,120 I'm gonna end poverty and inequality... 354 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,520 and sadness! 355 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:04,840 Guy's crazy. 356 00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:07,760 Someone told me he's even on about getting rid of Queen. 357 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,400 It's unbelievable! 358 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,440 This office will be closing in five minutes. 359 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,760 -What's going on? -Five minute warning. 360 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,480 Pointy elbow time. 361 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:23,480 Excuse me... 362 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,160 Come on... 363 00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:32,480 Excuse me... Excuse me, please! 364 00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:35,640 I require an emergency payment. 365 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,200 My social worker told me this is the place to apply... 366 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:41,760 Press. The. Button. To. Speak. 367 00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,000 I require an emergency payment. 368 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:49,120 I've no food or power and I need money now. 369 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,720 Two or three thousand should be sufficient. 370 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,800 If you're eligible you'll get a few quid in five working days. 371 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,200 Where are you going? 372 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:05,480 Come back! I've no money! I've no food! 373 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,840 I'm starving! The dog's starving! 374 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:09,960 There you go, luv. 375 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:11,720 For the hound. 376 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,200 She said she'd never seen such a field full of nubbins... 377 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:34,320 What od you expect if you're trying to grow asparagus in November? 378 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:36,280 Erm... 379 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:38,840 Hello. It's Bev, isn't it? 380 00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:41,000 I'm having these chaps round for tea. 381 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,960 Gonna show off il giardino. 382 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:45,440 Perhaps you'd care to join? 383 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,040 He's a gent, int he? 384 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:49,840 My Tony better watch out! 385 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:57,440 This gathering is more than four people and, therefore, illegal. 386 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,560 -I'm ordering you to disperse! -What gathering? 387 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,800 -We're having tea! -Yeah, sod off! 388 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:03,880 Are you gonna make us? 389 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,600 This is our close, we do what we want! 390 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,040 No! You do what I say! 391 00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:10,240 Surely officer you're exceeding your legally designated powers? 392 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,440 Yeah! What he said! 393 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:16,040 Argh! Actually, that rather hurts! 394 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,920 Mummy! Help! I've been arrested. 395 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,840 There were more protests today, with public sector workers 396 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,800 demanding the pay rises promised during the general election campaign. 397 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,640 Boo all you like. I've already started. 398 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:06,160 Jack Barker said he'd appreciate a bit less whinging and whining 399 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:10,200 as it distracted him from some very complicated number juggling. 400 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:15,400 I know it's not your fault, 401 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,480 but I usually do better than a cup of cold water. 402 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,520 I know you're in there! We need your help! 403 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,760 I'm still without power and food. 404 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,120 -Bless. -And I'm worried about my son. 405 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,120 Course you are. 406 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,080 Come and see us! 407 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:31,840 We need to talk! 408 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:35,160 They seem like reasonable, ordinary people. 409 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,400 I'm minded to write to your department 410 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:40,000 requesting they look again at the Threadgold's case. 411 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:41,360 Please don't! 412 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,640 We're snowed under. I've got a post bag this big! 413 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,080 Aaah... Look at these two! 414 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,680 So much bigger than the photo I saw of them this morning. 415 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:53,920 Have you seen the papers? 416 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,040 -I can't afford tea let alone... -You and yours are never out of them. 417 00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:01,800 I'll love you and leave you! 418 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:04,880 Bye boys! 419 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:07,880 Good news boys. 420 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,680 Your father's getting bail. 421 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,520 He's going to be let out for a bit. 422 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,600 -Aren't you pleased? -He got tazered. 423 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,080 That's impressive. 424 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:17,640 I can show what happened. 425 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:21,560 That won't work. 426 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,880 No one's gonna believe Daddy's a real criminal type. 427 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:28,160 We have to think of something new to stop the bashings. 428 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,360 Early polls are mixed-ish. 429 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:33,520 No one thinks we can afford your reforms 430 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,040 and they regret losing the monarchy, 60/40. 431 00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:38,160 How's the pound? 432 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,720 Er it's worth about 6p of pre election value. 433 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:45,080 And all the rich people have scarpered to dodge tax. 434 00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:51,320 Prime Minister? Are you okay? 435 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,640 Our country's special. 436 00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,160 We punch above our weight. 437 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,480 If we can sell the railways and water companies to foreigners, 438 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,720 we can sell other things too. 439 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,320 Get me a list! 440 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:10,840 Everything we've got! 441 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:17,080 We're going to sell, sell, sell and spend, spend, spend! 442 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:23,960 It's me from next door! 443 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,640 I'm extending the hand of friendship. 444 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:42,120 I've got the pipes an' that. 445 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,440 -Still want it doing? -Yes! Come in. 446 00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:45,960 Come in. 447 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:50,440 I... I... I... I don't like being on my own. 448 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:53,880 I wondered if you'd care to take tea with me? 449 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:07,160 We've met before. 450 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:11,200 You came to Jamaica when I was a girl. 451 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:12,960 I gave you some flowers, 452 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,160 -wore a yellow dress? -How lovely. 453 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:22,200 I don't expect you to remember me. 454 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,520 I remember your husband. 455 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,760 Yes. So young. 456 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:33,200 He hated being king. 457 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,880 My husband would have loved it! 458 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,360 You're entertaining, I'll come back later. 459 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:46,400 Let me introduce you first. 460 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,680 This is Philomena. 461 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,720 Jolly nice to meet you. 462 00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:58,560 Have you come to the correct address? 463 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,920 Er... I've been doing some work for Philomena. 464 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:04,920 Is she still... 465 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:06,600 Shall I let in... 466 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,080 -What's your name? -Spiggy. 467 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,560 Spigg-ay? 468 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:12,920 Yes, please. 469 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:14,480 You're approved. 470 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:26,640 All done. 471 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,680 Best get on, mad busy me. 472 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,240 I'll go and inspect it. 473 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,320 Psst, psst, psst! 474 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:37,840 Would you be a betting man? 475 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:42,960 Dog's Breath to win in the three thirty. 476 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,000 Could you put it on for me? 477 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:48,000 She don't like that kind of stuff... 478 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:49,320 Philomena's a delight. 479 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:54,040 But you know, when you get to my age, it's very hard to change. 480 00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:01,760 Mum's the word? 481 00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,640 Keep your distance. 482 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:01,760 Gosh. 483 00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:04,000 Like an unbroken stallion that one. 484 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:06,240 I see why you wanted support. 485 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:10,280 Sorry. 486 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:13,640 Everywhere I go I bump into you looking awkward and going red. 487 00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,640 You're not, attracted to me, are you? 488 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,240 Thinking of asking me out? Something like that? 489 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,480 Well... 490 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:22,920 Are you busy... 491 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,680 -tonight? -I suppose one rather invited that. 492 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,040 Very well. Seven o'clock! Don't be late! 493 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:35,520 Boys? 494 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:36,760 Boys? What's going on? 495 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:38,040 Where are your clothes? 496 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,080 -Traded 'em, innit. -Had to, gran-man. 497 00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:42,920 When you live on the street you gotta blend in or die. 498 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:44,680 Fill me? 499 00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:50,480 I think this is probably what normal people call a phase. 500 00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:52,960 We weren't allowed one. 501 00:32:58,120 --> 00:32:59,320 Again? 502 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:00,840 Are you trying to move in? 503 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,400 I erm... 504 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:05,000 Think I left me wallet. 505 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,120 You are a careless man, Spiggy! 506 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:10,880 I don't know why anyone employs him. 507 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,640 It's must be because he's local! 508 00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:15,760 And they can't think of anybody else. 509 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:18,320 I've just remembered... 510 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:20,120 Glove compartment. 511 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:23,320 Sorry for disturbance, ladies! 512 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:29,600 You should see someone about that. 513 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,480 I've let in another visitor! 514 00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,840 Let me introduce my friend, Philomena. 515 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,120 How nice to have a friend. 516 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,800 I'll... I'll call again soon. 517 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:50,640 Mummy. 518 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,080 I've never felt so wretched. 519 00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:57,080 I'm lonely and poor. 520 00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:01,640 This really is the most depressing existence. 521 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,960 Only if you let it be. 522 00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:06,920 Yes. 523 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:09,840 You're quite right. 524 00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:14,120 Go and stand by the fire. 525 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,000 Look behind the clock. 526 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,000 Help yourself to one. 527 00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:39,520 Mummy. 528 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,520 Don't be ridiculous! 529 00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:06,440 Hey, you! 530 00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:08,920 Queen! Yeah, you! 531 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,600 -Are you alright? -No, I need help. 532 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,480 God, you'll have to do. Come on. 533 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,080 Quick! 534 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,480 Hang on there. 535 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,760 You're doing really well sweetheart. Really well. 536 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:28,640 My gosh! 537 00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,400 She should be in hospital, surely? 538 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:31,840 Really? You think so? 539 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:34,400 We rang for an ambulance four hours ago. They're not coming. 540 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:36,680 She's got me. And you. 541 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,000 Well come on then! Show some gumption! 542 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,600 I do know what the situation requires! 543 00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:57,160 What are you doing? 544 00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:59,960 A girl's having a baby. 545 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:04,080 They really are too disgusting! 546 00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:15,320 I think you're being very brave. 547 00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,680 Very brave indeed. 548 00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:19,240 It's coming. 549 00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:22,080 Yes! You're dilating. 550 00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:23,760 Blow hard. 551 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,240 -She's right. -Follow me. 552 00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,200 And again... 553 00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:33,600 That's it! 554 00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:48,200 This was Queen Victoria's christening blanket. 555 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:51,120 -Perhaps you'd like it? -You're kidding? 556 00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,040 That was one of my names if it was a girl. 557 00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,040 -Really? -Yeah. 558 00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:57,320 That settles it. 559 00:36:58,240 --> 00:36:59,680 I'm going for it. 560 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:02,200 This is... 561 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,240 Queenie! 562 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,720 Hello Queenie! 563 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,120 Do you know, one of mine came that quick. 564 00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:23,800 I mean, they managed to get me to hospital 565 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:25,800 but I was still on the trolley when she came out. 566 00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:27,440 Really? 567 00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:30,920 Is that it? 568 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,760 After what we've just been through? 569 00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,400 What happens, is now 570 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:39,640 you tell me something personal about you, you stuck-up cow! 571 00:37:39,720 --> 00:37:41,840 You've got such a rod up your backside! 572 00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:43,360 How dare you! 573 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:45,880 You've been nothing but rude to me since I arrived here! 574 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:47,280 You snob! 575 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:48,720 Do you think I want to live like this? 576 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:50,280 Do you think I want to offend you? 577 00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,600 I don't understand your rules! 578 00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:55,520 I don't know what I'm doing, you stupid woman! 579 00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,520 Hark at her. 580 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,320 Not so cold blooded after all are ya? 581 00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:26,640 Don't be ridiculous! 582 00:38:30,720 --> 00:38:32,480 Super evening. 583 00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:46,880 I wont miss cutting ribbons or... 584 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:49,320 Shaking hands with dictators. 585 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:52,120 Or The Royal Variety Perfomance. 586 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,120 But I did like the Christmas message. 587 00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:59,040 Mainly, one misses having a purpose. 588 00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:02,640 That's what everyone round here misses. 589 00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:05,320 Violet... 590 00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:08,240 I've heard about Tony and Bev's children... 591 00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:09,760 I don't believe they did anything. 592 00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,880 -No one does. -Good. 593 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:14,120 That's what I think too. 594 00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:19,680 Now, one needs another drink. 595 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:24,920 -Cheers. -Cheers. 596 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,520 What is it? 597 00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:57,880 It's my pension. 598 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:00,680 I have money. 599 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:08,680 Kon'Pchiwa anata no sugureta! 600 00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:12,400 Nanika autosaki shimasuka. 601 00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:13,800 Yes! 602 00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,800 Tower Bridge is still available. 603 00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:18,760 They want us to throw in Hull. 604 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:21,360 -The bridge in Hull? -No, Hull. 605 00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:24,360 You've got a deal! 606 00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:26,440 Russian, Russian, quick! 607 00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:28,560 Sorry, I've got someone on the other line... 608 00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:33,080 Dobry viejar Premjer! 609 00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:35,600 What can I do you for... 610 00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:37,640 The Houses of Parliament? 611 00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,120 With MPs or without... 612 00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:42,440 A hotel, nice. 613 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:47,680 While you're on, can I interest you in a painting? 614 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:49,400 Statue? 615 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:51,800 No, not art and that. 616 00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:54,720 Great! 617 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:58,520 And this house will move to a more democratic venue. 618 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,400 Leicester Leys Leisure Centre car park! 619 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,360 It's damp in here. 620 00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:05,440 That is not helping! 621 00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:07,280 We need to get you moved. 622 00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:09,760 No, I'm staying put. 623 00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:14,560 I'm really feeling very much better. Stop fussing. 624 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:16,880 Do you think she's better? 625 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,000 No. 626 00:41:22,240 --> 00:41:24,240 -That's that man. -Real job. 627 00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,320 Decreasing pensions and benefits. 628 00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:31,280 Spending more on schools and hospitals and prisons! 629 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:32,880 Here, here. 630 00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:50,440 -They've dropped the charges. -Goodness! 631 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:52,680 -What a relief! -Not yours, mate. 632 00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:54,840 They've upped yours to GBH on a copper. 633 00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:56,800 Really? Is that serious? 634 00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,160 Very, actually. Very serious. 635 00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:01,240 Did you find a lawyer who does legal aid? 636 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,800 Yah. Erm... That chap there. 637 00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,800 -He went to a very good school. -Like you did? 638 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:12,120 Yes... 639 00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:13,480 It's a very weak case. 640 00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:15,800 Can hardly believe they've taken it to court. 641 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,000 But take it they have! 642 00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,000 Why haven't I been called as a witness? 643 00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:20,480 I used to be Queen. 644 00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:22,080 Surely that could count for something? 645 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:25,000 Yes. It could count against us! 646 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,440 Trust me! I know what I'm doing! 647 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,400 Let battle commence. 648 00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:33,800 Let's close the walls up with our English dead! 649 00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:41,960 I think you're in excellent hands. 650 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,640 I was then faced with a large and angry mob 651 00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:56,320 making hostile gestures and using factory language. 652 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:58,120 I engaged the aggressors 653 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:01,480 in a non-confrontational and placatory manner 654 00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:03,720 as per my police training 655 00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:07,280 whereupon the accused shouted 656 00:43:08,720 --> 00:43:10,160 'Kill the pigs! 657 00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:12,760 ' and 'You can't kettle me!' 658 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:14,320 It's not true. 659 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:15,520 I did no such thing! 660 00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:17,640 I'd never use kettle as a verb! 661 00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:20,240 Silence in court! 662 00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:22,160 Go on, officer. 663 00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:25,560 The accused then put me in a half nelson 664 00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:31,640 and smashed my head on the pavement, causing dizzy spells and PTSD. 665 00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:35,400 I believe that if it wasn't for my taser I would be dead. 666 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:36,920 Objection! 667 00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:38,960 On what grounds? 668 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:50,320 Your witness, Mr Livingstone-Chalk. 669 00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:53,480 WPC Ludlow, 670 00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:59,160 could you tell the court how many people saw this vicious assault on you? 671 00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:01,200 All ten Police Officers who have been called 672 00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,920 as witnesses will say exactly the same thing. 673 00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:06,440 Ex-actly. 674 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:13,400 And how many witnesses will say it did not happen? 675 00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,400 -I don't know... -"I don't know"? 676 00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,200 No. Those would be your witnesses. 677 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:22,640 My witnesses? 678 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:42,680 Court's adjourned for ten minutes 679 00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,720 for m'learned friend's pretend heart attack. 680 00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:52,400 Okay, pulled a fast one, think I got away with it... 681 00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:53,760 No. You really didn't. 682 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:55,200 She was pretty convincing. 683 00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:56,760 I believed her. 684 00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,040 How about changing your plea to guilty? 685 00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:00,440 Certainly not! 686 00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:03,040 Everything that woman said was a complete fabrication. 687 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:04,840 It's your job to show that. 688 00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:08,800 I mean, if you change your plea you might not go to prison. 689 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,600 There are twelve jurors, straight and true out there. 690 00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:13,960 I trust them to treat me fairly. 691 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:15,840 And I trust that when I look them in the eye, 692 00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:18,800 they will see the sincerity of my plea! 693 00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:22,760 And have no choice in their hearts than to find me innocent. 694 00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:26,560 Guilty! 695 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:30,200 Really? 696 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,760 You have been found guilty of GBH on a police officer... 697 00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:35,200 Shameful! 698 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,440 -Shame on you! -You're a filthy Trot! 699 00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:38,960 Silence in court! 700 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:40,920 One more word and I'll have you up for contempt! 701 00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:42,920 Make that utter contempt! 702 00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:45,600 Clear the court! 703 00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:51,120 A despicable crime which rightly earns a very severe sentence. 704 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:55,840 Against this, you are of a previously good character, 705 00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:59,280 you are unlikely to offend again 706 00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,280 and prison sentences of less than a year have been proven 707 00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:04,400 totally ineffective. 708 00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,640 I sentence you to twelve years in prison! 709 00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:11,560 Take him down! 710 00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:13,320 You're a disgrace! 711 00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:16,040 -You should be banned from the bench! -Mummy? 712 00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,640 Water the garden! 713 00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:26,360 The Governor of the Bank of England? 714 00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:27,760 And you let him in? 715 00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:34,720 I sorry, Mr Barker, he out! 716 00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:36,520 Lemme in! I saw you, Barker. 717 00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,160 And that's racist! You're a lunatic! 718 00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,240 You've banjaxed the economy... 719 00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:43,000 Get back to your ledgers, pointy head! 720 00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:44,120 I'm the good guy! 721 00:46:44,240 --> 00:46:46,200 I'm building schools and hospitals 722 00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:49,600 and airports No, not airports, community centres! 723 00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:51,480 I've got lots of plans! 724 00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:52,960 Lots of plans! 725 00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:54,760 You won't know what's hit you! 726 00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:58,000 Barker, lemme in! 727 00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:01,480 Barker! Barker! Barker! 728 00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:31,800 Spiggy? You've got a horse. 729 00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:34,760 No, you've got a horse. 730 00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:37,360 It's for you. 731 00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:44,400 I think it's a she. 732 00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:22,800 Strip. 733 00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:24,200 Bend over. 734 00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:26,960 God, Gordonstoun all over again. 735 00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:30,040 We must campaign! 736 00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:32,200 This is a monstrous injustice! 737 00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:36,720 -And we need to tell mummy. -Sorry, I don't do 'bad' news. 738 00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:39,480 I don't want to either. 739 00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,160 Why is everything left to me? 740 00:48:41,240 --> 00:48:42,640 Come on Mummy! 741 00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:44,640 You like being in charge. 742 00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:47,040 You're even taking over in this dreadful place. 743 00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:48,760 Yes, she is. 744 00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:53,320 And she's become all working classy, screeching and emotionally incontinent. 745 00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:55,800 She even touched my hand yesterday? 746 00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:57,480 My hand? 747 00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:03,080 Have you actually gone mad? 748 00:49:03,560 --> 00:49:08,800 One finds I find letting myself go mitigates the indignities. 749 00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:10,280 -Piffle! -How would you know? 750 00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:12,480 You've never held back from anything. 751 00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:15,640 You've been completely indulged in every aspect of your life. 752 00:49:15,720 --> 00:49:18,080 You've sacrificed nothing! You've worked at nothing! 753 00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,080 Daddy always said you'd mess your life up 754 00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,320 and he's been proven completely right! 755 00:49:22,720 --> 00:49:23,920 What's going on? 756 00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:25,440 I heard a scream? 757 00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:27,200 It's nothing. 758 00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:29,120 Are you alright? 759 00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:30,560 Yeah. 760 00:49:35,240 --> 00:49:39,160 Being arrested has made it even harder for me to get my kids back. 761 00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:43,280 Apparently shows I'm violent. 762 00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:47,520 -I wasn't even charged! -Bev? 763 00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:52,480 I'm sure you've both been excellent parents. 764 00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:54,560 Excellent. 765 00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:56,800 I couldn't even keep 'em with us. 766 00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:07,720 Try and drink a little bit. 767 00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:11,720 You're very kind. 768 00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:19,640 -We need to call the doctor now. -Please don't. 769 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:24,440 I'm 92. There's no cure for old age. 770 00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:28,400 -You want me to fetch anyone? -No. 771 00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:30,280 Please stay with me. 772 00:50:30,720 --> 00:50:33,160 Don't leave me on my own. Please? 773 00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:34,920 Stay with me. 774 00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:45,000 Your Majesty! 775 00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:49,800 Can't... 776 00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:54,160 tell you how giddy we all feel! 777 00:50:54,240 --> 00:50:56,760 If there's anything, anything at all 778 00:50:56,840 --> 00:51:01,560 that I can do to make your stay here more comfortable, please ask. 779 00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:04,520 Well, I have rather missed my valet. 780 00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:06,600 Having to prepare one's own toothpaste, 781 00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:09,880 warming one's own lavatory seat, it's all rather a bore. 782 00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:12,960 Someone close to my rooms would be just perfect. 783 00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:21,800 I won't come in. 784 00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:23,320 I get a little bit erm... 785 00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:25,200 oooh! in tight spaces. 786 00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:27,440 Sorry, we couldn't find a single but 787 00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:31,680 here there's no openly violent or mentally ill cell mates, so... 788 00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:34,680 Silver linings! Erm... 789 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:40,440 Carlton. 790 00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:42,600 -Oswald. -Right. 791 00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:45,160 We've got a rota for the exercise area. 792 00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,560 -Where's that? -You're standing in it. 793 00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:50,760 And the bog. 794 00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:52,800 We were gonna put up a curtain. 795 00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:54,480 And then we didn't. 796 00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:56,240 Right. 797 00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:02,640 Don't worry. 798 00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:04,800 It gets worse. 799 00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:13,680 Your daughter is here. 800 00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:20,680 Thank you for coming. 801 00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,320 I've some rather bad news... 802 00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:28,880 -The prison news? -Yeah. 803 00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:31,440 Philomena read it from the paper. 804 00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:36,000 She also says that people want us back. 805 00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:39,240 -So they say. -Well, keep trying. 806 00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:45,200 Sometimes the hard times can be the best times... 807 00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:47,840 They were for me. 808 00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:52,080 Until now... 809 00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:11,360 You! 810 00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:13,680 What do the polls say? 811 00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:16,680 Still erm up and down. 812 00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:19,600 -Mainly down. -What about her? 813 00:53:20,720 --> 00:53:22,960 -Do they want her back? -Yes. 814 00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:24,680 They want her back. 815 00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:27,280 And they, they hate you! 816 00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:29,320 It's all gone wrong! 817 00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,120 We've sold everything! 818 00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:33,040 We're going backwards! 819 00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:36,240 We're gonna end up in the stone age by this time next year. 820 00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:39,960 Stone. 821 00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:42,200 Stonehenge! 822 00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:46,680 We forgot to sell Stone-bloody-henge! 823 00:53:47,240 --> 00:53:49,880 The Yanks'll love it! 824 00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:53,480 Hello Mr Pres. 825 00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:55,840 No, not an emergency. 826 00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:57,920 More of an opportunity. 827 00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:01,000 Have you ever heard of Stonehenge? 828 00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:03,120 Henge? 829 00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:08,600 Mainly, it's just boring. 830 00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:10,480 I'm not bored. 831 00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:12,920 Only boring people get bored. 832 00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:15,440 Not everyone can read cookery books twenty three hours a day. 833 00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:17,000 It'd take a longer stretch than this to get 834 00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:19,480 through Madjur Jaffrey's Veggie Indian I tell ya. 835 00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:21,600 Some people memorise the Bible. 836 00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:23,320 He does cookbooks. 837 00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:26,320 -It's a gift. -I've got a gift. 838 00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:28,640 Lucky man. What's your gift? 839 00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:32,360 Art! I'll draw you both. 840 00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:37,200 Have you seen buses? 841 00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:39,080 A quid flat fare! 842 00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:40,800 That's Jack Barker for ya! 843 00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:43,120 Apparently, he does what he says. 844 00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:46,280 Next time we get on a bus I'm gonna treat you. 845 00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:48,280 I'll say, 'Two, please! 846 00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:50,520 For the Queen and I! 847 00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:52,480 Oi! 848 00:54:52,720 --> 00:54:54,280 -You're wanted down the station. -Me? 849 00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:55,360 Yeah. 850 00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:57,600 Your lads have smashed the bus shelter. 851 00:54:58,040 --> 00:54:59,560 Bunked off school an all. 852 00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:01,240 S'not your fault they're wrong'uns. 853 00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,760 Lucky you think that, your Dexter was with 'em. 854 00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:30,000 Your Royal Highness! 855 00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:33,440 I see you got the food that I ordered! 856 00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:34,800 Yum! 857 00:55:35,240 --> 00:55:36,800 Looks grand that. 858 00:55:38,360 --> 00:55:39,800 Erm... If you'd like to follow me, sir, 859 00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:43,400 you have a phonecall and you can use my office! 860 00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:51,800 You can use my chair. Make yourself at home. 861 00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:54,040 And er... 862 00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:58,520 I'll be outside if you need me. 863 00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:03,040 Hello? Her Majesty's horrible Victorian prison? 864 00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:06,840 The boys have been arrested for vandalising a bus shelter. 865 00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:08,280 Bloody Nora! 866 00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:10,120 Chips off the old block? 867 00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:12,640 How is prison life? 868 00:56:13,240 --> 00:56:17,000 You know, it's not too different to the close. 869 00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:18,240 But er 870 00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:21,880 I am having a little trouble with the Governor... 871 00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:25,560 His special treatment is making me rather unpopular. 872 00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:27,080 I'll speak to Mr Barker. 873 00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:31,680 How you doing, luv? 874 00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:33,080 I'm very tired. 875 00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:34,360 My mother's not been well, 876 00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:36,520 my son's in prison, the boys have become gangsters... 877 00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:37,640 Hold on! 878 00:56:37,720 --> 00:56:39,480 We're gonna need tea for this. 879 00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:40,960 Can I do the honours? 880 00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:42,560 You can. 881 00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:16,120 Bev! Tony! 882 00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:18,400 You're in the clear! 883 00:57:18,520 --> 00:57:21,520 Your children have brittle bone disease! 884 00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:24,360 It wasn't your fault! 885 00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:27,160 It wasn't your fault! 886 00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:32,240 This was unopened. 887 00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:34,440 -It's only just arrived. -Get the children home! 888 00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:37,440 -I was gonna do it today. -I'm coming, Bev! 889 00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:41,840 You need to come. 890 00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:44,080 Your mother is leaving us. 891 00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:11,960 I've just heard. 892 00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:14,520 Sorry, old stick. 893 00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:17,880 I was with her when she went... 894 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:25,200 Steady on, Ma. 895 00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:28,960 Steady on. 896 00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:37,760 Regulations 4-9... 897 00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:41,000 something or other, 898 00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:44,240 death of inmate's relative protocols. 899 00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:47,800 They told me off for being nice to you. 900 00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:53,600 In line with said protocols you've been granted leave to attend the funeral. 901 00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:57,400 I'm so sorry! 902 00:58:59,120 --> 00:59:00,720 Prisoner dismissed. 903 00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:09,360 No way I'd come back. Leg it. 904 00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:10,880 Yeah, man. Whoosh! 905 00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:12,240 Head for the hills. 906 00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:14,960 Well, I suppose the children will be in Spain. 907 00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:18,800 I have always dreamed of living in Scotland, wild and free. 908 00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:20,600 Selling my paintings... 909 00:59:20,960 --> 00:59:22,360 Or vegetables? 910 00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:24,120 Yeah, I suppose you could sell veg. 911 00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:26,200 No, I'd much rather sell my... 912 00:59:31,120 --> 00:59:32,920 Don't you like my art? 913 00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:35,480 Yes mate. You better tell that too. 914 00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:38,120 I mean swirly eyebrows and that... 915 00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:40,240 Be up on my wall mate. Pukka. 916 00:59:40,920 --> 00:59:42,480 Great snakes! 917 00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:44,840 Nobody likes my art. 918 00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:49,000 They only bought it cos I was Prince of Wales. 919 00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:52,880 My. Gosh! 920 00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:55,040 I do really like the one of me. 921 00:59:55,440 --> 00:59:56,960 Although, it don't look nothing like me. 922 00:59:57,120 --> 00:59:59,000 You've made me look fat in my one. 923 01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:03,640 Well... 924 01:00:04,760 --> 01:00:06,040 Fare thee well. 925 01:00:06,920 --> 01:00:09,040 Don't even think about doing a runner. 926 01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:11,440 I'll be watching. 927 01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:15,160 See you later. 928 01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:27,000 You're toxic and everyone regrets getting rid of the monarchy, 80/20. 929 01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:31,280 There's nothing left to sell! 930 01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:34,120 I don't know what to do... 931 01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:36,800 We need... a miracle! 932 01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:48,440 Jack Barker, Prime Minister. 933 01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:53,200 How lovely to hear from you, comrade chairman... 934 01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:57,280 You want... What? 935 01:01:32,640 --> 01:01:35,320 I'd like to thank you all... 936 01:01:35,680 --> 01:01:37,080 So much for coming. 937 01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:40,360 And I'm very grateful for your help with the funeral 938 01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:42,240 and the celebration tomorrow. 939 01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:45,800 My mother had a very good life. 940 01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:49,040 She did exactly as she pleased and wanted for nothing. 941 01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:50,920 A charmed life. 942 01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:53,080 Apart from one respect, 943 01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:58,400 she lived through one of the worst wars the world has ever experienced. 944 01:01:58,880 --> 01:02:01,600 And yet, when she talked of that war 945 01:02:02,040 --> 01:02:07,040 she spoke of it as the most moving and significant event of her life 946 01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:13,080 because of the sense of community created by the chaos and hardship. 947 01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:18,320 Since moving to this estate 948 01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:21,320 I've understood what she meant. 949 01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:25,840 Life here is hardship and chaos 950 01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:32,640 and yet the courage and kindness I have seen has inspired me more than... 951 01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,480 I'd like to thank you 952 01:02:42,360 --> 01:02:44,000 for all you've done for me. 953 01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:46,160 And my mother. 954 01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:51,080 She loved her life and her family. 955 01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:53,480 And we loved her... 956 01:02:56,880 --> 01:02:58,800 Thank you. 957 01:03:05,760 --> 01:03:07,600 Thank you. 958 01:03:27,080 --> 01:03:30,400 Aah, great send off. Well done. 959 01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:33,280 Listen, I think my Dexter might have been in your place. 960 01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:37,360 Now he wouldn't nick owt but I think he might have borrowed a hat or two. 961 01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:39,600 Excuse me. 962 01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:42,360 Hello Mummy. 963 01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:45,280 -Help me get rid of him. -Yes, it really is terribly sad. 964 01:03:45,400 --> 01:03:48,120 -I'll see what I can do. -Thank you Mummy. 965 01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:56,880 Hands again. 966 01:03:57,040 --> 01:03:59,320 -What have I done now? -Nothing. 967 01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:01,760 Actually, I have done something. 968 01:04:01,840 --> 01:04:03,840 I listened to you and I've taken a position. 969 01:04:03,920 --> 01:04:06,440 -What're you doing? -I'm at that delightful little off 970 01:04:06,520 --> 01:04:08,160 licence with the metal shutters. 971 01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:10,080 It's pure heaven! 972 01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:12,640 I need your special skills. 973 01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:26,920 I got your beer. 974 01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:33,120 I got your pony nuts. 975 01:04:48,160 --> 01:04:49,680 Are these... 976 01:04:50,160 --> 01:04:54,000 You must be so pleased to be home with your excellent parents. 977 01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:56,760 May I? 978 01:04:59,920 --> 01:05:01,360 Lovely. 979 01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:15,640 You know, they said my mother made the best gin and tonics in London 980 01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:18,960 but I think mine are the superior tipple. 981 01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:22,080 What do you think? 982 01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:33,800 It was the least I could do. 983 01:05:40,520 --> 01:05:42,160 Would you excuse me? 984 01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:47,440 Come as quick as you can. 985 01:05:50,400 --> 01:05:52,160 You know I'm going to miss you terribly. 986 01:05:52,480 --> 01:05:56,040 Be good for your mother, teach her boyfriend English and manners. 987 01:05:56,320 --> 01:05:58,080 Need to be tooled up if you's on the run. 988 01:05:58,240 --> 01:05:59,800 Uzi? Glock? 989 01:06:00,160 --> 01:06:01,480 Whatev's. 990 01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:13,440 Where's the prisoner? 991 01:06:19,520 --> 01:06:20,920 Goodbye Mummy. 992 01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:24,440 I'll be in touch when I can. 993 01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:27,160 Do you think I could ask Bev to come with me? 994 01:06:27,240 --> 01:06:29,480 She's just been reunited with her children. 995 01:06:29,640 --> 01:06:31,480 And she's happily married. 996 01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:33,560 So not a good idea then? 997 01:06:34,640 --> 01:06:36,440 'Allo, 'allo, 'allo? 998 01:06:44,720 --> 01:06:46,720 Goodbye boys. 999 01:06:48,000 --> 01:06:49,280 Run, Daddy, run! 1000 01:06:49,360 --> 01:06:51,600 Leg it, gangsta! 1001 01:06:52,280 --> 01:06:54,240 Don't ever stop running brave. 1002 01:06:54,520 --> 01:06:55,840 Go Daddy! 1003 01:06:56,120 --> 01:06:57,480 All units... Prisoner is running away! 1004 01:06:57,560 --> 01:06:59,840 Repeat! The prisoner is running away! 1005 01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:02,600 Oi! He's this way! 1006 01:07:04,160 --> 01:07:05,960 They're after my boy! 1007 01:07:06,320 --> 01:07:08,120 Stop them! 1008 01:07:13,480 --> 01:07:15,040 The prisoner's escaping! 1009 01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:18,080 Come on! Let's have... 1010 01:07:19,560 --> 01:07:20,840 Put down the cup! 1011 01:07:21,040 --> 01:07:24,200 He's gone down the alleyway. Come on, shift yourselves! 1012 01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:29,120 Come on! 1013 01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:07,360 Get in! Get in! 1014 01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:18,000 Hoorah! 1015 01:08:19,800 --> 01:08:21,400 Thank you! 1016 01:08:21,560 --> 01:08:22,960 Thank you! 1017 01:08:23,120 --> 01:08:25,080 I love you all! 1018 01:08:25,440 --> 01:08:27,920 I love you all! 1019 01:08:41,680 --> 01:08:43,680 I have secured a loan 1020 01:08:43,800 --> 01:08:46,520 which will bankroll United Kingdom Province 1021 01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:48,640 for the next twenty years! 1022 01:08:49,480 --> 01:08:53,520 Twenty years of prosperity and social progress! 1023 01:08:54,680 --> 01:08:56,160 Obviously, there's a cost. 1024 01:08:56,840 --> 01:09:01,480 We will now share sovereignty with our friends in China. 1025 01:09:02,520 --> 01:09:03,920 Xie xie! 1026 01:09:04,560 --> 01:09:08,040 And to seal the deal and to satisfy public demands 1027 01:09:08,880 --> 01:09:12,680 I would like to announce the reinstatement of the monarchy! 1028 01:09:40,320 --> 01:09:41,960 We want you back. 1029 01:09:42,600 --> 01:09:45,400 The country wants you back. Needs you. 1030 01:09:47,080 --> 01:09:48,520 The Chinese won't accept anyone else. 1031 01:09:48,600 --> 01:09:50,360 They want the real deal you 1032 01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:53,080 or the deal's off! 1033 01:09:56,880 --> 01:09:58,280 It's like that, is it? 1034 01:10:00,920 --> 01:10:02,400 Very well. 1035 01:10:06,760 --> 01:10:08,000 We want you! 1036 01:10:08,320 --> 01:10:10,920 Only you know what to do! Please! 1037 01:10:11,240 --> 01:10:12,320 Please! 1038 01:10:12,400 --> 01:10:14,040 Pleeeeasse come back! 1039 01:10:14,120 --> 01:10:17,760 For your country, for the church, for your family, for you! 1040 01:10:17,960 --> 01:10:20,240 We want our monarchy back! 1041 01:10:21,640 --> 01:10:23,040 Please? 1042 01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:28,920 It's only when an institution isn't there that one sees its worth. 1043 01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:34,320 Mr Barker, this puts me in a very difficult position. 1044 01:10:35,480 --> 01:10:37,240 As one rather feels 1045 01:10:38,760 --> 01:10:40,320 one has become... 1046 01:10:42,000 --> 01:10:43,880 a Republican. 1047 01:11:01,960 --> 01:11:04,280 As you sit with your families this Christmas, 1048 01:11:04,400 --> 01:11:08,120 many of you may feel our country has become a laughing stock 1049 01:11:08,360 --> 01:11:10,080 through a self-inflicted act 1050 01:11:10,200 --> 01:11:13,160 that has done great harm to our standing in the world. 1051 01:11:13,800 --> 01:11:16,400 Although my own family has suffered greatly, 1052 01:11:16,560 --> 01:11:18,560 I see it quite differently. 1053 01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:21,800 I have been impressed and humbled 1054 01:11:22,160 --> 01:11:25,640 by the spirit and attitude of my fellow citizens. 1055 01:11:26,080 --> 01:11:30,880 This new, sympathetic, understanding of widely differing views and values 1056 01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:35,680 has made me see that there is more to unite us than to divide us... 1057 01:11:36,080 --> 01:11:37,400 And with this in mind, 1058 01:11:37,720 --> 01:11:39,680 I would like to wish you all 1059 01:11:39,800 --> 01:11:42,880 a very merry Christmas. 1060 01:11:42,960 --> 01:11:44,360 Cut! 1061 01:12:03,080 --> 01:12:04,400 Suits you. 1062 01:12:04,880 --> 01:12:07,120 Merry Christmas everybody. 70749

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