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1
00:00:00,043 --> 00:00:02,003
BIRDS CHIRP
2
00:00:07,363 --> 00:00:09,003
It feels weird, Pop not being here.
3
00:00:10,003 --> 00:00:12,002
The twins said
that since the verdict,
4
00:00:12,003 --> 00:00:14,002
Joy Spokes is avoiding them.
5
00:00:14,003 --> 00:00:16,002
Well, she's shy at the best of times
is Joy.
6
00:00:16,003 --> 00:00:19,002
And little Dennis Lottle
told 'em we'd lose our farm.
7
00:00:19,003 --> 00:00:22,002
Hmm. People can be cruel.
Especially the Lottles.
8
00:00:22,003 --> 00:00:23,002
How can anyone think
he's a criminal?
9
00:00:23,003 --> 00:00:26,002
Well, the few that do will
look stupid when we prove he's not.
10
00:00:26,003 --> 00:00:28,522
Exactly, so we need to gather
11
00:00:28,523 --> 00:00:30,002
evidence of errors
in the prosecution,
12
00:00:30,003 --> 00:00:32,002
and appeal to the magistrate.
13
00:00:32,003 --> 00:00:33,002
Who are these evil neighbours?
14
00:00:33,003 --> 00:00:36,002
Well, we realised we don't know much
about them, so I'm investigating.
15
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:38,002
Good. So, these are avenues
to explore
16
00:00:38,003 --> 00:00:41,002
to investigate
financial impropriety.
17
00:00:41,003 --> 00:00:44,003
At last, your legendary skills
as a taxman are coming in handy.
18
00:00:46,363 --> 00:00:49,002
I'm still furious with you
for not telling us about Pop's case.
19
00:00:49,003 --> 00:00:51,002
And interrupt your honeymoon?
20
00:00:51,003 --> 00:00:53,202
To be fair,
it was two months and counting.
21
00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:56,842
Turns out there's loads of Europe.
So, next item.
22
00:00:56,843 --> 00:01:00,002
Mariette informs me that none
of the Larkin young are baptised.
23
00:01:00,003 --> 00:01:04,002
Yeah, well, we never got round
to it. So do now, Ma.
24
00:01:04,003 --> 00:01:05,682
Pop's lack of
conventional respectability
25
00:01:05,683 --> 00:01:07,002
may have counted against him.
26
00:01:07,003 --> 00:01:08,842
I'll tell Reverend Candy.
27
00:01:08,843 --> 00:01:11,003
I'm sure he'd help us
put together a quick ceremony.
28
00:01:13,003 --> 00:01:14,002
You look different somehow.
29
00:01:14,003 --> 00:01:16,362
It's the glow
of couple-y contentment.
30
00:01:16,363 --> 00:01:19,002
Pop and I looked like
we had a light on inside us.
31
00:01:19,003 --> 00:01:22,002
Aw! Gotta dash to work.
32
00:01:22,003 --> 00:01:24,002
It is so nice having you back.
33
00:01:24,003 --> 00:01:26,003
It would've been sparse
at dinner!
34
00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:30,002
Come on, you lot, out the way. Shoo!
35
00:01:30,003 --> 00:01:32,843
She seemed very keen
to talk to that new reverend.
36
00:01:34,003 --> 00:01:35,002
You haven't seen him yet.
37
00:01:35,003 --> 00:01:38,002
Oh, and we're gonna need
expert help.
38
00:01:38,003 --> 00:01:40,002
We stayed in London
with Angela Snow,
39
00:01:40,003 --> 00:01:42,002
and her father
is an eminent retired lawyer.
40
00:01:42,003 --> 00:01:43,002
Oh, good.
41
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,002
I didn't tell the little 'uns,
but...
42
00:01:45,003 --> 00:01:49,002
if we don't clear Pop's name,
then that's trust gone,
43
00:01:49,003 --> 00:01:52,002
and our livelihood
might not be far behind. Ma, no.
44
00:01:52,003 --> 00:01:54,002
Ma, you need to focus on Pop.
45
00:01:54,003 --> 00:01:56,002
We will keep them happy
so this doesn't ruin their summer.
46
00:01:56,003 --> 00:01:58,002
Thanks.
47
00:01:58,003 --> 00:02:00,002
And there's
the new swimming pool.
48
00:02:00,003 --> 00:02:02,362
A swim won't make up
for Pop being locked up.
49
00:02:02,363 --> 00:02:04,002
How do you think
he's doing in there?
50
00:02:04,003 --> 00:02:06,002
Oh, you know Pop.
51
00:02:06,003 --> 00:02:07,042
He'll have talked them
into letting him
52
00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:09,002
go to the chippy every afternoon.
53
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,003
CELL DOOR CLOSES
54
00:02:20,003 --> 00:02:23,002
I'm no fan of Great Britain, biggest
mistake of my life coming here,
55
00:02:23,003 --> 00:02:26,002
but its judiciary is very reliable.
56
00:02:26,003 --> 00:02:29,002
I'm so angry with you
at this moment.
57
00:02:29,003 --> 00:02:33,002
Mr Larkin is a darling,
but we all make mistakes, don't we?
58
00:02:33,003 --> 00:02:34,202
I do.
59
00:02:34,203 --> 00:02:37,002
Say you do. I do.
60
00:02:37,003 --> 00:02:40,002
On the contrary, it's
the biggest miscarriage of justice
61
00:02:40,003 --> 00:02:42,002
since they bumped me
and gave the Pimpernel to Niven.
62
00:02:42,003 --> 00:02:44,002
Anyone know what that means?
63
00:02:44,003 --> 00:02:49,002
To not see Pop's astonishing face
out and about for a year...
64
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:53,002
You need to keep busy, Edith,
or get a job in the prison.
65
00:02:53,003 --> 00:02:56,202
I can't be any busier,
but it's all so meaningless now.
66
00:02:56,203 --> 00:02:59,002
And Pop pays for so much
in the village.
67
00:02:59,003 --> 00:03:02,002
The Cheese Hoedown
has already been cancelled.
68
00:03:02,003 --> 00:03:03,002
VICAR COUGHS
69
00:03:03,003 --> 00:03:06,002
Where do you stand on Pop Larkin's
conviction, Vicar?
70
00:03:06,003 --> 00:03:08,002
You know me, I never judge.
71
00:03:08,003 --> 00:03:10,202
I hear your job is under threat
72
00:03:10,203 --> 00:03:13,002
now the dynamic,
young Reverend Candy is here.
73
00:03:13,003 --> 00:03:16,002
Well, that's a tissue of baloney.
74
00:03:16,003 --> 00:03:19,002
CAR DOORS SLAM
EDITH: Is that them?
75
00:03:19,003 --> 00:03:22,842
It ruddy is, isn't it?
Rise above, darling, rise above.
76
00:03:22,843 --> 00:03:25,842
Villagers.
You deal with any bad losers,
77
00:03:25,843 --> 00:03:27,682
I'll chat to the more normal ones.
78
00:03:27,683 --> 00:03:30,002
No, no, no, you love a dust-up.
I'll, erm...
79
00:03:30,003 --> 00:03:32,362
If I walk off in this direction...
Stop it. Be the man.
80
00:03:32,363 --> 00:03:35,522
How dare you show yourself
in the village of Mr Larkin.
81
00:03:35,523 --> 00:03:38,002
Talk to my husband.
82
00:03:38,003 --> 00:03:42,002
Hello, ladies. What super tops!
Ooh, thank you!
83
00:03:42,003 --> 00:03:46,683
Get back in the car and leave,
or I will unleash my ghastly wrath!
84
00:03:59,003 --> 00:04:01,003
Bloody useless.
85
00:04:03,003 --> 00:04:04,042
It was so much fun,
86
00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:07,002
and Primrose was obsessed with
this handsome new Reverend Candy.
87
00:04:07,003 --> 00:04:08,002
That seems to have gone away.
88
00:04:08,003 --> 00:04:11,002
We slept in the open once. We were
attacked by owls. It was so great.
89
00:04:11,003 --> 00:04:12,002
We've missed you.
90
00:04:12,003 --> 00:04:14,002
We loved the postcard
of the dead volcano people.
91
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:16,002
I'm the man about the house
now Pop's gone,
92
00:04:16,003 --> 00:04:19,002
but since you're back, Charley,
we'll take it in turns.
93
00:04:19,003 --> 00:04:22,002
Yep, good system.
What's it like being married?
94
00:04:22,003 --> 00:04:23,682
Is it true
love gets deeper and deeper?
95
00:04:23,683 --> 00:04:26,002
Or does it get stale?
Like bread?
96
00:04:26,003 --> 00:04:28,002
We girls have been crying
ourselves to sleep about Pop.
97
00:04:28,003 --> 00:04:30,002
We don't know
what to do with ourselves.
98
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,682
Thanks, can we actually
just clear our heads?
99
00:04:32,683 --> 00:04:35,002
But see you for some fun later?
100
00:04:35,003 --> 00:04:37,003
All right! Thanks.
101
00:04:38,203 --> 00:04:41,002
I love them,
but I'm exhausted already.
102
00:04:41,003 --> 00:04:43,002
Yes, I forgot
how much they have to say.
103
00:04:43,003 --> 00:04:46,003
So let's not tell them I'm pregnant.
Oh, agreed.
104
00:04:47,003 --> 00:04:49,002
Oh, am I walking too fast?
105
00:04:49,003 --> 00:04:51,002
No. Are you sure?
Do... Do you want a rest?
106
00:04:51,003 --> 00:04:54,842
We've walked ten yards. I'm having
a baby, not a nervous breakdown.
107
00:04:54,843 --> 00:04:56,003
Shh!
108
00:05:07,003 --> 00:05:09,002
Thanks for letting me do this
at work.
109
00:05:09,003 --> 00:05:10,002
Oh, no, it's not sentiment.
110
00:05:10,003 --> 00:05:12,003
I sense a good story
if your dad's been nobbled.
111
00:05:17,043 --> 00:05:20,002
PHONE LINE RINGS
112
00:05:20,003 --> 00:05:22,682
Angela! Ma Larkin. How are ya?
113
00:05:22,683 --> 00:05:27,002
I'm bodacious,
and how are you, Pop, and the tots?
114
00:05:27,003 --> 00:05:30,522
Pop was sentenced
to a year in prison yesterday...
115
00:05:30,523 --> 00:05:34,002
'so we need your help.'
Oh, my God, darling. What?
116
00:05:34,003 --> 00:05:39,002
I know it is an outrage, but I hear
that your father is a legal person.
117
00:05:39,003 --> 00:05:42,002
Yes, darling, a QC.
'What's that?'
118
00:05:42,003 --> 00:05:43,682
Queen's Counsel.
119
00:05:43,683 --> 00:05:46,002
What, he counsels the Queen?!
'Well...'
120
00:05:46,003 --> 00:05:48,002
yes, sort of.
121
00:05:48,003 --> 00:05:50,002
Oh, what's she like?
122
00:05:50,003 --> 00:05:52,002
Tell me when you come down to us
at the farm.
123
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:53,682
You and your dad must stay.
124
00:05:53,683 --> 00:05:57,002
We will be there.
Father's very wise.
125
00:05:57,003 --> 00:06:00,002
Thank the Lord,
cos we need a bit of that.
126
00:06:00,003 --> 00:06:01,002
Though rather ancient.
127
00:06:01,003 --> 00:06:04,002
Got to dash, Angela.
Come as soon as you can.
128
00:06:04,003 --> 00:06:06,002
Plenty of beds here!
129
00:06:06,003 --> 00:06:08,002
I was wondering
if you have business information
130
00:06:08,003 --> 00:06:10,002
on a Mr Cuthbert Jerebohm,
who is listed...
131
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:12,002
Do you have any record
of any police cautions, convictions,
132
00:06:12,003 --> 00:06:14,002
or bankruptcy orders
in the name Jerebohm -
133
00:06:14,003 --> 00:06:15,002
Phyllis or Cuthbert?
134
00:06:15,003 --> 00:06:17,002
Shouldn't you be checking
the proofs?
135
00:06:17,003 --> 00:06:19,523
No, no. This is more interesting.
Yeah, uh-huh.
136
00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:24,002
Oh, what a scumbag!
137
00:06:24,003 --> 00:06:26,003
BUZZER BLARES
138
00:06:49,003 --> 00:06:51,682
They told me I can't give you a hug.
I know.
139
00:06:51,683 --> 00:06:56,002
And I brought you some food, but
they say I've gotta take it home.
140
00:06:56,003 --> 00:06:58,042
I can do without the trimmings, Ma.
141
00:06:58,043 --> 00:07:00,522
It's you and the kids I miss...
142
00:07:00,523 --> 00:07:03,002
and the air and the light.
143
00:07:03,003 --> 00:07:07,002
They all send their love, and
Mariette and Charley rushed home.
144
00:07:07,003 --> 00:07:09,003
Ah, Lord love 'em.
145
00:07:10,003 --> 00:07:11,003
MA SIGHS
146
00:07:14,003 --> 00:07:16,003
Come on, Stu.
147
00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:21,003
POP CHUCKLES,
MA SIGHS
148
00:07:22,683 --> 00:07:23,843
So, how is it?
149
00:07:25,003 --> 00:07:27,003
Well, it's a prison, innit?
150
00:07:28,003 --> 00:07:30,002
I'm betting
it's like any community, you know?
151
00:07:30,003 --> 00:07:34,002
You gotta suss it out,
treat folk nice,
152
00:07:34,003 --> 00:07:35,002
and make it work for YOU, Ma.
153
00:07:35,003 --> 00:07:39,002
And they've got a workshop,
so I'm making new friends.
154
00:07:39,003 --> 00:07:40,003
POP CHUCKLES
155
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,002
Well, don't get too used to it...
156
00:07:44,003 --> 00:07:46,523
POP CHUCKLES
..cos we are gonna get you out.
157
00:07:48,003 --> 00:07:51,203
Just gimme a couple of days.
Of course.
158
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:55,842
What you got?
159
00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:58,002
Jerebohm is a double-bankrupt
with a conviction for fraud,
160
00:07:58,003 --> 00:08:01,002
so he lied about the unblemished
social and financial standing.
161
00:08:01,003 --> 00:08:02,002
Pinkie Jerebohm was married before.
162
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:05,202
Her husband filed for divorce
on the grounds of cruelty. Wow.
163
00:08:05,203 --> 00:08:07,002
Yeah.
164
00:08:07,003 --> 00:08:10,002
At the time, she was a member
of the burlesque dance troupe
165
00:08:10,003 --> 00:08:13,002
Folie The Bear, based in Dagenham.
166
00:08:13,003 --> 00:08:16,002
I like the sound of her.
No, you don't! Is that enough?
167
00:08:16,003 --> 00:08:18,002
Well, maybe not,
but it's a good start.
168
00:08:18,003 --> 00:08:21,002
Some of these old magistrates,
they can be just sweet-talked,
169
00:08:21,003 --> 00:08:22,522
but yours isn't one of 'em.
170
00:08:22,523 --> 00:08:24,682
Ma can be quite persuasive,
as you know.
171
00:08:24,683 --> 00:08:26,003
HE CHUCKLES
172
00:08:28,003 --> 00:08:30,003
Your gentleman caller is back.
173
00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:32,003
Erm, hello.
174
00:08:34,003 --> 00:08:35,003
Hello.
175
00:08:39,003 --> 00:08:43,003
Feel free to chat in my office.
No, no, we... we have a routine.
176
00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:55,002
So, how can we fix this?
177
00:08:55,003 --> 00:08:57,002
You stop treating the two of us
like a guilty secret.
178
00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:59,002
It's only
until I'm known in the parish.
179
00:08:59,003 --> 00:09:00,002
Now my pop's in prison,
180
00:09:00,003 --> 00:09:02,003
I must be even more embarrassing
to be associated with.
181
00:09:04,003 --> 00:09:06,002
So let's keep it businesslike.
182
00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:08,002
Will you please christen me
and my six siblings?
183
00:09:08,003 --> 00:09:10,002
None of you are baptised?
184
00:09:10,003 --> 00:09:12,362
Pop and Ma think being good people
is the same as being baptised.
185
00:09:12,363 --> 00:09:15,002
That's... not a conventional reading
of the Anglican rules.
186
00:09:15,003 --> 00:09:17,002
They aren't conventional parents,
187
00:09:17,003 --> 00:09:19,002
otherwise Pop
wouldn't be in a prison cell,
188
00:09:19,003 --> 00:09:21,003
and Ma wouldn't have
a varnished snail shell collection.
189
00:09:24,003 --> 00:09:25,363
I would love to baptise you all.
190
00:09:28,003 --> 00:09:29,003
Thank you.
191
00:09:32,523 --> 00:09:35,042
DOOR SLAMS
Afternoon.
192
00:09:35,043 --> 00:09:39,002
I need you to pull strings
and get Pop a TV in his cell
193
00:09:39,003 --> 00:09:42,682
cos he loves telly, and he's
not so good on the book reading,
194
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:44,522
though he's making
some nifty arts and crafts.
195
00:09:44,523 --> 00:09:47,002
I don't think I have the power
to install a television
196
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,002
in Her Majesty's...
197
00:09:48,003 --> 00:09:50,002
Well, Constable,
you had the power to arrest Pop
198
00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:54,002
and get this whole mess started,
so I expect amends to be made.
199
00:09:54,003 --> 00:09:55,002
Mrs Larkin,
I hope I've made it clear
200
00:09:55,003 --> 00:09:57,002
how bad I feel about Pop and...
201
00:09:57,003 --> 00:10:00,002
Oh, you did, gorgeous...
202
00:10:00,003 --> 00:10:03,002
but bad feelings
don't butter no parsnips.
203
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,002
Nice to be back with Pauline?
204
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:08,002
Yeah. Yeah.
Although she's still angry with me.
205
00:10:08,003 --> 00:10:09,003
In fact, she's withholding...
206
00:10:10,003 --> 00:10:12,042
..certain things till Pop gets out.
207
00:10:12,043 --> 00:10:14,002
What things?
208
00:10:14,003 --> 00:10:17,002
Oh, well, you know,
the physical, erm...
209
00:10:17,003 --> 00:10:18,002
Don't make me say it.
210
00:10:18,003 --> 00:10:22,002
Oh. Good for Pauline. Sure it's not
just that she doesn't fancy it?
211
00:10:22,003 --> 00:10:26,362
Oh, erm... no.
No, I... I think she fancies it.
212
00:10:26,363 --> 00:10:30,002
I mean,
she makes all the right, er...
213
00:10:30,003 --> 00:10:31,003
noises.
214
00:10:32,003 --> 00:10:33,842
Well, believe me,
215
00:10:33,843 --> 00:10:37,002
we are full steam ahead
to get this verdict overturned.
216
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,002
It doesn't need to be a big telly,
217
00:10:39,003 --> 00:10:41,203
and a wireless
would be nice an' all.
218
00:10:44,003 --> 00:10:47,002
You'll be all right.
The time'll fly by.
219
00:10:47,003 --> 00:10:50,003
No... I think it'll be interminable.
220
00:10:51,003 --> 00:10:55,003
You occupy a special place
in the village, Mr Larkin.
221
00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:58,683
And in my heart.
Oh, Edith...
222
00:10:59,843 --> 00:11:02,002
Oh, we had an accident
earlier today in the prison laundry.
223
00:11:02,003 --> 00:11:04,002
Starch got sprayed everywhere.
224
00:11:04,003 --> 00:11:06,002
The guards are looking
for hardened criminals.
225
00:11:06,003 --> 00:11:07,003
HE LAUGHS
226
00:11:09,003 --> 00:11:11,002
I just feel so helpless and trapped.
227
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:14,002
SHE SOBS
228
00:11:14,003 --> 00:11:15,003
Oh...
229
00:11:28,003 --> 00:11:29,682
KNOCK ON DOOR
Hmm.
230
00:11:29,683 --> 00:11:32,202
Good morning. You may remember me.
231
00:11:32,203 --> 00:11:35,002
You convicted my husband
Sidney Larkin a day or two ago.
232
00:11:35,003 --> 00:11:36,002
Yes, I did.
233
00:11:36,003 --> 00:11:39,002
Well, we'd love you
to reconsider your decision
234
00:11:39,003 --> 00:11:43,002
and agree to our appeal,
so we can see justice restored.
235
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,043
All due respect.
236
00:11:47,003 --> 00:11:49,002
My husband's accusers
237
00:11:49,003 --> 00:11:52,002
have a history of criminality and
moral turpitude as long as your arm.
238
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:53,003
It's all in there.
239
00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:23,002
Hello, Reverend.
Alec and Norma Norman.
240
00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:26,002
Yes.
We are regular church-goers,
241
00:12:26,003 --> 00:12:28,002
but prefer to attend in Pye Merkin,
242
00:12:28,003 --> 00:12:31,002
which offers
an elevated social stratum.
243
00:12:31,003 --> 00:12:33,002
Not that God judges us like that
of co...
244
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,002
There are no Larkins there,
for example.
245
00:12:35,003 --> 00:12:37,002
I find them delightful.
246
00:12:37,003 --> 00:12:39,002
Then you'll know that Mr Larkin
is in prison,
247
00:12:39,003 --> 00:12:41,002
and his appeal has failed.
248
00:12:41,003 --> 00:12:45,002
Yes, the vicar told me.
He feasts on bad news.
249
00:12:45,003 --> 00:12:48,002
Clearly Larkin's
so-called generosity
250
00:12:48,003 --> 00:12:49,523
was financed by him nicking stuff.
251
00:12:52,003 --> 00:12:55,002
Thank you for giving me
the subject of my sermon this week.
252
00:12:55,003 --> 00:12:57,002
Thievery?
253
00:12:57,003 --> 00:13:01,002
Rev, can you come and explain to
my boy that he's not going to Hell.
254
00:13:01,003 --> 00:13:04,003
He can't sleep nights.
Ah, I'm actually on my way to...
255
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:09,002
HE SIGHS
256
00:13:09,003 --> 00:13:11,003
Yes, of course.
257
00:13:35,003 --> 00:13:37,002
Darling Ma.
258
00:13:37,003 --> 00:13:42,002
Angela,
thank you so much for coming.
259
00:13:42,003 --> 00:13:44,682
Well, of course,
this is an outrage!
260
00:13:44,683 --> 00:13:48,002
Someone's pants are hugely on fire
and they must be avenged.
261
00:13:48,003 --> 00:13:52,682
I cannot believe that the magistrate
would not accept our appeal.
262
00:13:52,683 --> 00:13:54,682
For once, I'm wondering
if I'm up to the task.
263
00:13:54,683 --> 00:13:56,002
Well, you're not a lawyer,
264
00:13:56,003 --> 00:14:00,003
but my father is,
and there's nothing he can't do.
265
00:14:08,003 --> 00:14:10,683
Evening!
Afternoon.
266
00:14:11,523 --> 00:14:15,003
Afternoon, my mistake. Easily done.
267
00:14:22,003 --> 00:14:25,002
Welcome to Larkin Farm,
your Royal Honour.
268
00:14:25,003 --> 00:14:27,003
Oh, I say. How kind of you.
269
00:14:36,003 --> 00:14:37,002
Yes?
270
00:14:37,003 --> 00:14:40,002
Hello, Vicar.
I need to speak to Reverend Candy.
271
00:14:40,003 --> 00:14:41,042
Why? He's not here.
272
00:14:41,043 --> 00:14:46,203
Um, he's baptising some Larkins, and
I need to give him our full names.
273
00:14:48,003 --> 00:14:50,003
I'll take them. In!
274
00:15:00,003 --> 00:15:02,003
It's very much a room of two halves,
isn't it?
275
00:15:03,043 --> 00:15:05,002
Mm.
276
00:15:05,003 --> 00:15:07,002
You'd have to ask my junior
277
00:15:07,003 --> 00:15:10,002
why he's vacuumed and tidied
only his side.
278
00:15:10,003 --> 00:15:12,002
Well, I imagine Reverend Candy
would say he realised
279
00:15:12,003 --> 00:15:14,682
he was doing all the work,
so he needed to dig his heels in.
280
00:15:14,683 --> 00:15:16,003
You're very well informed.
281
00:15:17,043 --> 00:15:19,002
Well, when he isn't
digging his heels in,
282
00:15:19,003 --> 00:15:20,002
he's very special, isn't he?
283
00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:23,002
He's boosted church attendance,
and he looks lovely, and...
284
00:15:23,003 --> 00:15:25,042
Yeah, I'm tired of hearing
how special he is.
285
00:15:25,043 --> 00:15:27,003
Oh. Well, I'll shut up, then.
286
00:15:32,003 --> 00:15:33,002
Are these names a joke?
287
00:15:33,003 --> 00:15:34,522
Sadly, no.
288
00:15:34,523 --> 00:15:37,842
Well, I'm still the vicar here,
despite the rev's obvious ambition,
289
00:15:37,843 --> 00:15:40,002
so if anyone's gonna do it,
it'll be me.
290
00:15:40,003 --> 00:15:43,002
But... he offered first.
291
00:15:43,003 --> 00:15:44,002
He's too busy.
292
00:15:44,003 --> 00:15:47,002
And if you or any other Larkin
want to set foot in church again
293
00:15:47,003 --> 00:15:50,002
or get married here,
you'll be sprinkled by me,
294
00:15:50,003 --> 00:15:51,003
Vicar-in-Chief.
295
00:15:55,003 --> 00:15:58,362
Well, it seems Reverend Candy has
been detained by his huge workload,
296
00:15:58,363 --> 00:16:00,003
so I'll say goodbye.
297
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:05,003
See you at your christening.
298
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:13,003
Hey! Come on. Let's have some fun!
299
00:16:16,003 --> 00:16:19,002
There's more important
and serious things going on.
300
00:16:19,003 --> 00:16:21,002
All the more reason
to have some fun!
301
00:16:21,003 --> 00:16:24,682
Like, er... er...
Like the belly flop contest!
302
00:16:24,683 --> 00:16:27,002
Loudest smack wins!
Not in the mood.
303
00:16:27,003 --> 00:16:30,003
Come on,
Ma told me to cheer you all up.
304
00:16:31,003 --> 00:16:34,003
Right. Come on.
305
00:16:35,843 --> 00:16:37,003
OK.
306
00:16:42,003 --> 00:16:44,003
I actually wouldn't recommend that.
307
00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:49,002
Mum, Charley and Prim
are getting more evidence together.
308
00:16:49,003 --> 00:16:50,043
Then they'll try again
on the appeal.
309
00:16:51,363 --> 00:16:55,202
Oh, Pop, it's fabulous to see you
again, even in a prison uniform.
310
00:16:55,203 --> 00:16:59,003
You too, darlin'. Yeah. So, come on,
tell me something cheerful.
311
00:17:03,003 --> 00:17:05,002
I will, as you're stuck in here,
312
00:17:05,003 --> 00:17:08,003
but you have to promise
not to tell anyone, even Ma.
313
00:17:09,003 --> 00:17:10,002
I can tell Stu, though, right?
314
00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:12,363
We've got no secrets, have we, Stu?
Nah.
315
00:17:14,003 --> 00:17:16,002
I'm pregnant.
You're gonna be a granddad.
316
00:17:16,003 --> 00:17:19,842
Oh, Mariette,
that makes me so happy.
317
00:17:19,843 --> 00:17:21,002
And that makes me happy.
318
00:17:21,003 --> 00:17:23,002
Me and Ma were saying, "What's
taking you and Charley so long?"
319
00:17:23,003 --> 00:17:24,362
We've been together a year.
320
00:17:24,363 --> 00:17:27,002
Exactly, you should've knocked out
a coupla twins by now.
321
00:17:27,003 --> 00:17:29,003
Pop!
322
00:17:32,003 --> 00:17:37,003
ORGAN PLAYS
323
00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:06,842
Remember,
promise not to tell the family.
324
00:18:06,843 --> 00:18:08,002
Not till we get you out at least.
325
00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:11,042
Of course. My lips are seals.
326
00:18:11,043 --> 00:18:13,003
Thanks, Pop.
327
00:18:16,003 --> 00:18:19,002
Ain't she lovely? It's my oldest.
She's pregnant, you know?
328
00:18:19,003 --> 00:18:22,002
Great! Congratulations!
Well done!
329
00:18:22,003 --> 00:18:24,003
Let's go out and celebrate!
THEY LAUGH
330
00:18:28,003 --> 00:18:31,002
Hello, dear.
How much is a big whisky?
331
00:18:31,003 --> 00:18:34,002
Three bob.
Are you sure, Miss Pilchester?
332
00:18:34,003 --> 00:18:37,003
Never seen you take alcohol.
Just line her up, please.
333
00:18:41,003 --> 00:18:43,002
Did you see the show-jumping
on telly last night?
334
00:18:43,003 --> 00:18:45,523
No, I... don't have a machine.
335
00:19:04,003 --> 00:19:05,842
Upset about Pop?
336
00:19:05,843 --> 00:19:09,002
Yes, I am. I'd like another, please.
337
00:19:09,003 --> 00:19:14,003
Then I'll go home to my spinster's
home and my spinster's life.
338
00:19:16,003 --> 00:19:17,043
How many drinks
do I need to get drunk?
339
00:19:18,003 --> 00:19:23,002
Depends. Some old lush told me there
are seven stages of intoxication.
340
00:19:23,003 --> 00:19:24,003
Oh, and what number am I?
341
00:19:25,003 --> 00:19:26,043
Two and a half.
342
00:19:27,523 --> 00:19:31,042
I've been known to go past stage
four. You don't wanna do that.
343
00:19:31,043 --> 00:19:34,522
No, of course not. Why not?
344
00:19:34,523 --> 00:19:38,362
Cos to give you some idea,
six is coma and seven is death.
345
00:19:38,363 --> 00:19:41,003
Right. Thank you.
346
00:19:47,003 --> 00:19:49,002
PIANO PLAYS
347
00:19:49,003 --> 00:19:54,002
# Cold blows the wind
O'er my true love
348
00:19:54,003 --> 00:19:57,002
# Cold blows the drops of rain... #
349
00:19:57,003 --> 00:19:59,002
Come on, Pauline.
350
00:19:59,003 --> 00:20:03,002
# I never had but one true love
351
00:20:03,003 --> 00:20:08,002
# In the greenwood, he was slain
352
00:20:08,003 --> 00:20:13,002
# I'll do as much for my true love
353
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:17,002
# As any young girl may. #
354
00:20:17,003 --> 00:20:19,002
Edith, we'll take you home.
355
00:20:19,003 --> 00:20:23,842
Hey, I bought your crow a gin, you
said he'd recite the Lord's Prayer.
356
00:20:23,843 --> 00:20:27,043
Yeah, well, this has never happened
before. I'd better drink it.
357
00:20:28,523 --> 00:20:30,003
SHE SCOFFS
358
00:20:33,003 --> 00:20:35,002
Evening.
359
00:20:35,003 --> 00:20:37,842
Any chance I could arrest you
for being pretty after your shift?
360
00:20:37,843 --> 00:20:41,002
Thanks, but I've got
another job for you.
361
00:20:41,003 --> 00:20:42,363
Oh, what's that?
362
00:20:43,203 --> 00:20:45,003
Taking Miss Pilchester home.
363
00:20:47,003 --> 00:20:50,002
Ah... I'd love to,
but it's not Thursday,
364
00:20:50,003 --> 00:20:52,682
so I haven't got use
of the police vehicle.
365
00:20:52,683 --> 00:20:54,003
And?
366
00:21:03,003 --> 00:21:06,003
Please, look,
watch me do Charley's trick.
367
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:12,043
SHE SIGHS
368
00:21:15,003 --> 00:21:18,002
So, the Jerebohms are as fake
as a dog with nine legs.
369
00:21:18,003 --> 00:21:20,002
But the magistrate, Major Sprague,
370
00:21:20,003 --> 00:21:21,002
says we can only
challenge on the facts.
371
00:21:21,003 --> 00:21:25,522
Well, the case that you've outlined
seems riddled with inconsistencies.
372
00:21:25,523 --> 00:21:27,002
Don't you agree, Daddy?
373
00:21:27,003 --> 00:21:31,002
What? Oh, yes, yes, I do.
374
00:21:31,003 --> 00:21:35,002
Becau... Well, yes, erm...
375
00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:37,002
These days he takes a while
to warm up.
376
00:21:37,003 --> 00:21:39,002
The Queen's worn him out!
377
00:21:39,003 --> 00:21:42,002
Ah, yes, erm...
378
00:21:42,003 --> 00:21:46,842
Who was present at the planning
of this fraud and break-in?
379
00:21:46,843 --> 00:21:48,002
Hmm? Ah?
380
00:21:48,003 --> 00:21:50,202
And do you think
they could they be persuaded
381
00:21:50,203 --> 00:21:52,002
to do the decent thing?
382
00:21:52,003 --> 00:21:54,002
Only Mr and Mrs Jerebohms
and Alec Norman were there.
383
00:21:54,003 --> 00:21:56,002
Ah...
384
00:21:56,003 --> 00:21:57,002
Oh.
385
00:21:57,003 --> 00:22:00,002
I had to tell Pop.
386
00:22:00,003 --> 00:22:03,002
I felt so sorry for him,
dressed like a criminal.
387
00:22:03,003 --> 00:22:06,002
If anyone can make use
of his time inside, it's your dad.
388
00:22:06,003 --> 00:22:09,002
God, if he did ten years,
he'd leave as Prison Governor.
389
00:22:09,003 --> 00:22:11,002
Mm. He's smooth-talked himself
a job in the kitchen.
390
00:22:11,003 --> 00:22:13,003
You see! What a...
391
00:22:14,003 --> 00:22:15,522
Is that a rattlesnake?
392
00:22:15,523 --> 00:22:18,362
Rattlesnakes in Kent?!
You're still such a townie.
393
00:22:18,363 --> 00:22:22,002
Oh, I'm sorry... Can you check an
income tax form in under a minute?
394
00:22:22,003 --> 00:22:24,003
Cos I can.
Ooh, you sexy beast!
395
00:22:26,003 --> 00:22:29,003
Oh, evening, Constable.
Evening.
396
00:22:39,203 --> 00:22:43,002
What you watching, square-eyes?
Dunno.
397
00:22:43,003 --> 00:22:45,002
Just to warn you,
in case you see the vicar,
398
00:22:45,003 --> 00:22:46,002
he wants to baptise us all.
399
00:22:46,003 --> 00:22:48,002
We want the young, handsome one.
400
00:22:48,003 --> 00:22:50,002
Well, the old gnarled one
says he's doing it
401
00:22:50,003 --> 00:22:52,003
or none of us
can ever get married in his church.
402
00:22:53,003 --> 00:22:55,002
Then we have to go ahead.
403
00:22:55,003 --> 00:22:57,002
Me and Petunia
have already planned our weddings.
404
00:22:57,003 --> 00:22:58,202
I'm having real unicorns in church.
405
00:22:58,203 --> 00:23:00,002
You can order them
from South America.
406
00:23:00,003 --> 00:23:03,002
Oh!
I don't wanna do it no more.
407
00:23:03,003 --> 00:23:04,042
As the man about the house now,
408
00:23:04,043 --> 00:23:06,002
I need to remind you
why we're doing this:
409
00:23:06,003 --> 00:23:08,002
to make people think
we're respectable.
410
00:23:08,003 --> 00:23:10,002
Oh, we are respectable,
411
00:23:10,003 --> 00:23:12,042
but you know what,
it might be a healthy diversion.
412
00:23:12,043 --> 00:23:14,362
And an excuse for new frocks.
413
00:23:14,363 --> 00:23:16,002
I'll wear one of Dad's suits.
414
00:23:16,003 --> 00:23:19,002
Mm...
415
00:23:19,003 --> 00:23:22,202
Stop it now!
Who wants hot chocolate?
416
00:23:22,203 --> 00:23:27,002
# All things bright and beautiful
417
00:23:27,003 --> 00:23:32,362
# The Lord God made them all. #
418
00:23:32,363 --> 00:23:36,003
Thank you, that was, erm...
Thank you.
419
00:23:38,003 --> 00:23:42,002
Once in a golden hour
I cast to earth a seed
420
00:23:42,003 --> 00:23:46,002
Up there came a flower
421
00:23:46,003 --> 00:23:48,203
The people said, a weed.
422
00:23:51,003 --> 00:23:53,002
Tennyson.
423
00:23:53,003 --> 00:23:56,002
In other words,
today's sermon is about judgement.
424
00:23:56,003 --> 00:23:57,003
ORGAN SOUNDS
Sorry!
425
00:23:59,003 --> 00:24:01,002
Why do we love to condemn,
426
00:24:01,003 --> 00:24:04,042
and see guilt or fault
where there is none?
427
00:24:04,043 --> 00:24:10,002
Why does kindness
so often come second to blame?
428
00:24:10,003 --> 00:24:12,002
No, don't just accept it!
429
00:24:12,003 --> 00:24:15,002
Let's work hard
to love each other more!
430
00:24:15,003 --> 00:24:17,002
And to share that love,
431
00:24:17,003 --> 00:24:19,842
because how else
will we make the world
432
00:24:19,843 --> 00:24:22,003
a better and more beautiful place?
433
00:24:27,003 --> 00:24:28,003
Who do you all love?
434
00:24:30,003 --> 00:24:32,003
I love Primrose Larkin.
435
00:25:07,003 --> 00:25:10,003
DOOR OPENS
436
00:25:11,523 --> 00:25:15,002
I've never seen any of these people
before in my life!
437
00:25:15,003 --> 00:25:19,002
THEY LAUGH
Oh, come on. Welcome back, Charley.
438
00:25:19,003 --> 00:25:21,522
This is gonna take a while,
innit, hey?
439
00:25:21,523 --> 00:25:25,002
You all right, darling? That's it.
Thank you, Victoria.
440
00:25:25,003 --> 00:25:28,002
And first thing you've all gotta do
is stop with the tragic faces
441
00:25:28,003 --> 00:25:31,002
cos me telly's arrived,
you brilliant woman.
442
00:25:31,003 --> 00:25:33,002
THEY LAUGH
Oh, mwah!
443
00:25:33,003 --> 00:25:34,362
Hey, and guess what,
444
00:25:34,363 --> 00:25:36,002
I've been working
in the kitchen now.
445
00:25:36,003 --> 00:25:38,002
Turns out you can have
a lot of fun cooking.
446
00:25:38,003 --> 00:25:40,002
You should try it, Ma.
THEY LAUGH
447
00:25:40,003 --> 00:25:43,003
Hey, hey, hey. Stu, come on.
448
00:25:44,003 --> 00:25:47,002
There you go.
Watch, watch, watch, watch!
449
00:25:47,003 --> 00:25:49,002
Get ready!
THEY GASP
450
00:25:49,003 --> 00:25:51,842
Wow! Oh!
Ta-da!
451
00:25:51,843 --> 00:25:53,002
Oh, my Lord.
Hey!
452
00:25:53,003 --> 00:25:54,002
That is a work of art.
453
00:25:54,003 --> 00:25:57,002
Thank you. Monty get a photo, son.
That's it.
454
00:25:57,003 --> 00:26:01,002
Now then, newlyweds,
have you got something to tell me?
455
00:26:01,003 --> 00:26:03,002
We... don't know what you mean.
456
00:26:03,003 --> 00:26:07,002
About your Europe.
Just been round it, ain't you, eh?
457
00:26:07,003 --> 00:26:08,002
I'm not seeing much of it in here.
458
00:26:08,003 --> 00:26:11,002
We promise, Pop, you'll hear
every detail as soon as you get out.
459
00:26:11,003 --> 00:26:12,002
Good.
460
00:26:12,003 --> 00:26:15,002
On that subject, your escape
committee are making progress
461
00:26:15,003 --> 00:26:18,842
with the assistance
of Angela Snow's dad, who's a QC -
462
00:26:18,843 --> 00:26:22,002
that stands for
Counsel to the Queen.
463
00:26:22,003 --> 00:26:24,362
Special lady. I love a queen.
464
00:26:24,363 --> 00:26:27,842
Ma, we know.
We know you love a queen.
465
00:26:27,843 --> 00:26:29,002
Yeah, thank you.
466
00:26:29,003 --> 00:26:31,682
And you can all imagine
how much you mean to me.
467
00:26:31,683 --> 00:26:34,002
So...
468
00:26:34,003 --> 00:26:35,003
what about this baby?
469
00:26:37,003 --> 00:26:38,842
Come on, Oscar.
470
00:26:38,843 --> 00:26:42,682
Hey, are you gonna come
and give us a song?
471
00:26:42,683 --> 00:26:45,002
Hey, give us a chorus
of Jailhouse Rock?
472
00:26:45,003 --> 00:26:48,002
Look at that, Oscar.
Oh, that looks lovely.
473
00:26:48,003 --> 00:26:51,003
Don't have too much fun.
This is a prison, you know!
474
00:26:52,003 --> 00:26:55,682
But Pop seemed all right, though,
didn't he, Ma... considering?
475
00:26:55,683 --> 00:26:58,002
I was just thinking about him
missing your christenings.
476
00:26:58,003 --> 00:27:02,002
He's not churchy, though, is he?
He says he worships women.
477
00:27:02,003 --> 00:27:05,002
He's not one for ceremonies, either,
otherwise you'd be married.
478
00:27:05,003 --> 00:27:07,002
We've been too busy raising you lot.
479
00:27:07,003 --> 00:27:09,002
We'll record it.
What?
480
00:27:09,003 --> 00:27:11,002
On one of those
little cine film cameras.
481
00:27:11,003 --> 00:27:12,002
And Pop can watch it
when he gets out.
482
00:27:12,003 --> 00:27:14,002
I don't understand
modern technology.
483
00:27:14,003 --> 00:27:16,002
Hold on, did we leave Oscar in jail?
484
00:27:16,003 --> 00:27:19,003
No, I've got him.
Ah.
485
00:27:20,003 --> 00:27:22,002
Come on.
"Did we leave him...?" God!
486
00:27:22,003 --> 00:27:24,003
Can you imagine?!
487
00:27:33,003 --> 00:27:35,003
Ah, hello, darling.
488
00:27:43,683 --> 00:27:46,002
Why are you doing that face?
Hmm?
489
00:27:46,003 --> 00:27:48,002
Oh, I'm rehearsing
my forthcoming role
490
00:27:48,003 --> 00:27:50,202
of a man who looks wistfully back
at his life.
491
00:27:50,203 --> 00:27:51,843
Ah.
492
00:27:53,003 --> 00:27:55,002
I had a lady sat here earlier,
493
00:27:55,003 --> 00:27:57,002
who mentioned
a spectacular sermon yesterday
494
00:27:57,003 --> 00:27:59,002
by the new reverend.
495
00:27:59,003 --> 00:28:02,002
Yes, I've been told
by 18,000 people
496
00:28:02,003 --> 00:28:03,003
He's very dynamic.
497
00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:06,522
It seems like
you're the old tortoise,
498
00:28:06,523 --> 00:28:09,203
and he's the hare, yet, in fact,
he keeps winning the race.
499
00:28:11,003 --> 00:28:14,002
RIGHT!
That was quite a reaction. Bit much?
500
00:28:14,003 --> 00:28:18,002
I've given my life to this parish.
Yes, I'm a bit tired now.
501
00:28:18,003 --> 00:28:20,002
No, I don't go in for showy displays
of religiosity,
502
00:28:20,003 --> 00:28:24,002
but I am still a massively important
spiritual leader!
503
00:28:24,003 --> 00:28:26,002
And I will prove it.
504
00:28:26,003 --> 00:28:30,003
Yes, that's much better.
Yes, lots of vim.
505
00:28:35,523 --> 00:28:39,002
You really miss your Pop, don't ya?
506
00:28:39,003 --> 00:28:42,002
All right, darlin'?
Perfick.
507
00:28:42,003 --> 00:28:44,003
SHE CHUCKLES
508
00:28:45,003 --> 00:28:48,522
Miss Pilchester! What a pleasure.
509
00:28:48,523 --> 00:28:50,002
It's all mine, Mrs Larkin.
510
00:28:50,003 --> 00:28:53,002
I just wanted to say
how absolutely ghastly
511
00:28:53,003 --> 00:28:55,002
it must be without your husband.
512
00:28:55,003 --> 00:28:58,002
Yeah... Yeah, it is.
513
00:28:58,003 --> 00:29:01,002
And I'm going to be honest with you,
514
00:29:01,003 --> 00:29:04,002
inspired in part by Reverend Candy's
declaration of love for Primrose.
515
00:29:04,003 --> 00:29:08,682
Oh, there was so much rejoicing
in the Larkin household about that.
516
00:29:08,683 --> 00:29:10,843
Well, if I may...
517
00:29:15,003 --> 00:29:16,002
..I love your husband.
518
00:29:16,003 --> 00:29:18,002
Oh, we all love Pop...
No.
519
00:29:18,003 --> 00:29:20,002
No, really love him.
A frightening amount.
520
00:29:20,003 --> 00:29:22,002
MA SCOFFS
I can never have him
521
00:29:22,003 --> 00:29:25,362
because you are
the most glorious, loving couple,
522
00:29:25,363 --> 00:29:28,002
but I just wanted to lay my love out
in the open
523
00:29:28,003 --> 00:29:30,842
like a huge,
slightly embarrassing pumpkin
524
00:29:30,843 --> 00:29:32,002
and never mention it again.
525
00:29:32,003 --> 00:29:34,002
Oh, Edith.
526
00:29:34,003 --> 00:29:37,002
It also explains
my recent drunken escapade.
527
00:29:37,003 --> 00:29:39,003
There's...
There's no need to explain.
528
00:29:40,003 --> 00:29:43,002
Love Pop as much as you like.
529
00:29:43,003 --> 00:29:45,003
He's got a lot of time
for you as well.
530
00:29:47,003 --> 00:29:49,003
Tea for two in the garden, please?!
531
00:29:51,003 --> 00:29:53,003
But you're so hard on yourself.
532
00:29:55,003 --> 00:29:56,002
Look at you.
533
00:29:56,003 --> 00:29:58,002
You're beautiful...
Have to stop you there.
534
00:29:58,003 --> 00:30:00,003
You are!
Sorry.
535
00:30:03,003 --> 00:30:06,003
You're passionate
and energetic and kind.
536
00:30:07,003 --> 00:30:09,003
But you're not kind to yourself.
537
00:30:11,003 --> 00:30:13,003
Love yourself more, Edith.
538
00:30:15,003 --> 00:30:16,002
I'll try.
539
00:30:16,003 --> 00:30:19,003
In the meantime, can I do anything
to help bring Pop home?
540
00:30:20,003 --> 00:30:22,002
Well, we're trying
to think of someone
541
00:30:22,003 --> 00:30:25,002
who'd come over to our side
with evidence.
542
00:30:25,003 --> 00:30:27,202
Funny you should say that.
543
00:30:27,203 --> 00:30:30,682
Looking at the Jerebohms' chauffeur,
I sensed he was thinking,
544
00:30:30,683 --> 00:30:32,002
"Why am I working
for this absolute bitch?"
545
00:30:32,003 --> 00:30:35,002
Yes, I'm saying things out loud
these days
546
00:30:35,003 --> 00:30:36,042
which are meant just for my head.
547
00:30:36,043 --> 00:30:41,002
Do be careful about that,
but... the chauffeur.
548
00:30:41,003 --> 00:30:42,363
That's a good thought.
549
00:30:45,003 --> 00:30:46,002
Hello, dears!
550
00:30:46,003 --> 00:30:50,362
Oh, thanks, poppets!
SHE CHUCKLES
551
00:30:50,363 --> 00:30:53,002
Why don't you get Mariette
to sweet-talk him?
552
00:30:53,003 --> 00:30:55,002
What's his name?
Berndt.
553
00:30:55,003 --> 00:30:57,003
Burnt?
He's Austrian.
554
00:30:58,003 --> 00:31:00,002
Hello, Vicar!
555
00:31:00,003 --> 00:31:03,002
Come and join the party.
What brings you here?
556
00:31:03,003 --> 00:31:05,003
Another cup and the big cake!
557
00:31:07,003 --> 00:31:09,002
And a cold flannel!
558
00:31:09,003 --> 00:31:14,002
I hear that the Reverend Candy
has been stealing your thunder.
559
00:31:14,003 --> 00:31:17,002
To be honest, we're all wondering
why you're still here, Vicar.
560
00:31:17,003 --> 00:31:19,002
Sorry. That...
That escaped from my head.
561
00:31:19,003 --> 00:31:22,002
And that's exactly why I'm here.
562
00:31:22,003 --> 00:31:23,683
HE PANTS HEAVILY
563
00:31:27,003 --> 00:31:28,003
Ah!
564
00:31:31,003 --> 00:31:33,522
I'm organising a mass christening
for your kids
565
00:31:33,523 --> 00:31:37,002
and anyone else who's been too much
of a heathen to get around to it.
566
00:31:37,003 --> 00:31:38,002
We're not heathens.
567
00:31:38,003 --> 00:31:42,002
We just reckon that God'll take us
as He finds us.
568
00:31:42,003 --> 00:31:43,842
It doesn't work like that.
569
00:31:43,843 --> 00:31:46,002
It really doesn't.
I've read the big book.
570
00:31:46,003 --> 00:31:49,002
All right. Go on, then.
571
00:31:49,003 --> 00:31:51,002
Allow plenty of time
cos they've got a few middle names.
572
00:31:51,003 --> 00:31:53,002
I know.
573
00:31:53,003 --> 00:31:55,002
And I'm gonna steal
my thunder back from Candy,
574
00:31:55,003 --> 00:31:57,002
so I'm here to say
575
00:31:57,003 --> 00:31:59,523
I'll be using your new swimming pool
for the baptism.
576
00:32:02,003 --> 00:32:04,363
All right!
THEY CHUCKLE
577
00:32:14,003 --> 00:32:16,002
What do I do
if the horrible family come back?
578
00:32:16,003 --> 00:32:17,002
They won't.
579
00:32:17,003 --> 00:32:19,002
He dropped Mr Jerebohm off
at the station
580
00:32:19,003 --> 00:32:22,002
and Mrs and their weird children
at the golf course.
581
00:32:22,003 --> 00:32:25,003
OK, right, well, off I go, then.
How do I look?
582
00:32:26,843 --> 00:32:29,002
Charley?
Huh?
583
00:32:29,003 --> 00:32:31,002
Sorry. Um, yeah, looking good.
584
00:32:31,003 --> 00:32:33,363
Mm-hm?
Too good.
585
00:32:35,003 --> 00:32:36,003
I need to look seductive.
586
00:32:37,003 --> 00:32:38,043
Hey.
587
00:32:46,003 --> 00:32:49,002
Really?
SHE CHUCKLES
588
00:32:49,003 --> 00:32:52,002
Berndt is such a nice name,
really pretty.
589
00:32:52,003 --> 00:32:55,002
Where did you get it from?
Oh, it's the usual. From my papi.
590
00:32:55,003 --> 00:32:56,002
From your puppy?
591
00:32:56,003 --> 00:32:58,522
My daddy, my papi.
Of course.
592
00:32:58,523 --> 00:33:01,002
I love my dad so much.
593
00:33:01,003 --> 00:33:03,363
That's why I'm heartbroken.
I can't believe he'd steal.
594
00:33:05,003 --> 00:33:06,002
No.
595
00:33:06,003 --> 00:33:10,203
So... tell me he didn't do it.
Just for my own peace of mind.
596
00:33:12,683 --> 00:33:14,002
Your papi didn't do it.
597
00:33:14,003 --> 00:33:17,002
Thank you. So that means
your employers must be evil.
598
00:33:17,003 --> 00:33:21,002
They are... totally!
So why are you working for them?
599
00:33:21,003 --> 00:33:24,002
They have... information about me
which is very bad.
600
00:33:24,003 --> 00:33:27,002
I can't tell you how bad it is.
It's... so bad.
601
00:33:27,003 --> 00:33:29,002
So they've put my innocent Pop
in jail,
602
00:33:29,003 --> 00:33:31,002
and they're blackmailing you?
603
00:33:31,003 --> 00:33:34,002
Any other terrible things?
Yeah, there are other things.
604
00:33:34,003 --> 00:33:37,002
You need to say this
to the magistrate... to help us.
605
00:33:37,003 --> 00:33:38,003
I cannot.
606
00:33:39,043 --> 00:33:43,042
Imagine how you'd feel...
if your dad was in prison, and...
607
00:33:43,043 --> 00:33:45,003
SHE CRIES
Oh!
608
00:33:47,003 --> 00:33:49,003
I'm sorry. I'm pregnant.
609
00:33:50,003 --> 00:33:54,002
I found a big potato in my handbag
this morning.
610
00:33:54,003 --> 00:33:56,002
I must have put it there.
611
00:33:56,003 --> 00:33:57,002
Hormones.
612
00:33:57,003 --> 00:33:58,002
Anyway...
SHE SNIFFLES
613
00:33:58,003 --> 00:34:01,002
The safe was ordered and delivered
just before your daddy was caught.
614
00:34:01,003 --> 00:34:03,202
SHE GASPS IN RELIEF
I have the wrapping.
615
00:34:03,203 --> 00:34:05,522
A coincidence? No.
616
00:34:05,523 --> 00:34:07,522
SHE LAUGHS TEARFULLY
Thank you!
617
00:34:07,523 --> 00:34:11,202
Other things...
would you like a hankie?
618
00:34:11,203 --> 00:34:13,003
Yes, please!
619
00:34:14,003 --> 00:34:15,363
Fraulein.
620
00:34:16,683 --> 00:34:18,043
SHE BLOWS HER NOSE
621
00:34:19,523 --> 00:34:22,002
It couldn't be clearer than
the nose on your face, could it?
622
00:34:22,003 --> 00:34:24,002
Massive nose!
623
00:34:24,003 --> 00:34:25,002
We're not saying your nose
is massive.
624
00:34:25,003 --> 00:34:29,002
This evidence is in conjunction
with the papers already presented,
625
00:34:29,003 --> 00:34:31,002
duplicated in file D
before you there,
626
00:34:31,003 --> 00:34:34,042
of the Jerebohms' history
of moral and financial impropriety.
627
00:34:34,043 --> 00:34:38,002
I need more time
to consider my response, er...
628
00:34:38,003 --> 00:34:41,003
so we will reconvene
on Monday morning.
629
00:34:44,003 --> 00:34:47,002
I just feel that it's not
a very good idea any more.
630
00:34:47,003 --> 00:34:49,002
The Larkins are very tenacious.
631
00:34:49,003 --> 00:34:53,002
'You had your pound of flesh,
and I should release him.'
632
00:34:53,003 --> 00:34:56,002
Well, if you're planning to do that,
and that's fine...
633
00:34:56,003 --> 00:34:57,002
Thank you.
634
00:34:57,003 --> 00:35:01,002
'I shall come round,
punch your stupid face a bit'
635
00:35:01,003 --> 00:35:03,002
then reveal you're a corrupt judge
636
00:35:03,003 --> 00:35:06,003
and your whole life's work
has been a sham.
637
00:35:16,003 --> 00:35:20,003
LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC,
INDISTINCT CHATTER
638
00:35:30,003 --> 00:35:32,842
I can't swim, Vicar, so we'll
have to do it in the shallow end.
639
00:35:32,843 --> 00:35:35,002
Yeah, and can we not splash my hair?
I've had it done special.
640
00:35:35,003 --> 00:35:37,003
Oh, shut up.
641
00:35:40,003 --> 00:35:42,003
INDISTINCT CHATTER,
ROWDY LAUGHTER
642
00:35:43,003 --> 00:35:46,002
Was this a good idea?
Yeah.
643
00:35:46,003 --> 00:35:49,002
Distraction, eternal salvation
and a pool party,
644
00:35:49,003 --> 00:35:50,842
what could be better?
645
00:35:50,843 --> 00:35:54,003
Aw, look at the cherubs.
646
00:35:56,203 --> 00:35:58,523
Here, Ma, have some Champagne.
647
00:36:00,003 --> 00:36:02,002
It's like theatre,
religion, isn't it?
648
00:36:02,003 --> 00:36:05,002
Ritualistic and heady,
with some lovely costuming.
649
00:36:05,003 --> 00:36:07,002
You compare everything
to showbusiness.
650
00:36:07,003 --> 00:36:12,002
You do, shopping, lawn-mowing,
a fish tank is like a stage.
651
00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:13,842
A good comedy is like a tomato.
652
00:36:13,843 --> 00:36:17,002
Oh, by the way,
do you know a good violin teacher?
653
00:36:17,003 --> 00:36:19,002
I've assured the producer
I can play,
654
00:36:19,003 --> 00:36:21,002
and I've only got until Thursday
to learn.
655
00:36:21,003 --> 00:36:23,003
But as I say, the fiery hair's
just a bonus, really.
656
00:36:25,003 --> 00:36:27,002
Do you know what
I love about her especially?
657
00:36:27,003 --> 00:36:28,522
It's a combination of...
658
00:36:28,523 --> 00:36:31,003
Excuse me, I need to hand the vicar
his paraphernalia.
659
00:36:33,003 --> 00:36:36,002
You've been banging on
about Primrose for half an hour,
660
00:36:36,003 --> 00:36:38,363
well, I'm a reasonably
interesting woman, too.
661
00:36:47,003 --> 00:36:49,002
Hey.
Hey.
662
00:36:49,003 --> 00:36:51,842
You're not boozing -
are you pregnant?
663
00:36:51,843 --> 00:36:54,002
If only!
Silly boy!
664
00:36:54,003 --> 00:36:56,003
Can you imagine? Come on,
we need to go and get ready.
665
00:37:02,003 --> 00:37:06,003
Right, come on, come on,
let's have some hush.
666
00:37:07,683 --> 00:37:12,002
A baptism is a solemn sacrament
667
00:37:12,003 --> 00:37:15,002
to be approached with due reverence.
668
00:37:15,003 --> 00:37:17,002
So I don't want to see
any farting around
669
00:37:17,003 --> 00:37:19,002
or whingeing about getting splashed.
670
00:37:19,003 --> 00:37:22,003
Ah, now, how am I going to do this?
671
00:37:23,003 --> 00:37:25,003
Why don't you all get in the water
and we'll go from there?
672
00:37:31,003 --> 00:37:34,003
SPLASHING,
BABY CRIES
673
00:37:35,003 --> 00:37:37,003
It reminds me of the D-day landings.
674
00:37:39,003 --> 00:37:42,002
I'm itching to go on.
Maybe I can borrow some trunks.
675
00:37:42,003 --> 00:37:45,002
I'm gonna take
the godparents' section as read
676
00:37:45,003 --> 00:37:46,523
otherwise we'll be here
all bloody day.
677
00:37:47,843 --> 00:37:49,003
Right.
678
00:37:58,003 --> 00:38:00,003
Actually,
I now feel rather stupid.
679
00:38:07,043 --> 00:38:10,003
Well, I know you,
I'll start with you.
680
00:38:11,003 --> 00:38:13,002
"I baptise you,
681
00:38:13,003 --> 00:38:16,043
"Primrose Violet Anemone Iris..."
SIGHS
682
00:38:17,843 --> 00:38:21,002
"..Magnolia Narcissus Larkin."
683
00:38:21,003 --> 00:38:23,003
GEESE HONK
AND FLUTTER
684
00:38:26,003 --> 00:38:27,043
I hate geese!
685
00:38:32,003 --> 00:38:34,003
Quick. Someone help her!
686
00:38:43,003 --> 00:38:45,003
LAUGHTER
687
00:38:46,523 --> 00:38:49,003
Oh, it's always about him,
isn't it?
688
00:38:56,003 --> 00:39:00,002
- Well done!
- Good on ya', Ma!
689
00:39:00,003 --> 00:39:02,002
Congratulations, Mrs Larkin.
690
00:39:02,003 --> 00:39:04,003
LOW CHATTER
691
00:39:06,003 --> 00:39:08,003
All right, darlin'?
I suppose.
692
00:39:10,003 --> 00:39:12,362
I've, er...
had a problem with a souffle.
693
00:39:12,363 --> 00:39:15,002
Did you open the oven door
in the middle to take a look?
694
00:39:15,003 --> 00:39:16,682
I know what you're like.
695
00:39:16,683 --> 00:39:19,202
Oh, I did, yeah, oh, yeah.
696
00:39:19,203 --> 00:39:23,002
Could've been opening the oven door,
Stu, yeah, could've been that.
697
00:39:23,003 --> 00:39:24,682
It's all looking good
for your release,
698
00:39:24,683 --> 00:39:27,202
so I hope this is the last time
we're gonna have to meet here.
699
00:39:27,203 --> 00:39:30,002
Well, I'm putting a brave
face on it, Ma, that's for sure.
700
00:39:30,003 --> 00:39:33,043
I've made some friends in here,
but I wanna come home, Ma.
701
00:39:35,003 --> 00:39:36,522
How was the christening?
702
00:39:36,523 --> 00:39:41,002
Safe to say, for a religious service
it lacked a bit of "gravit-arse".
703
00:39:41,003 --> 00:39:42,002
Sounds good. Wish I was there.
704
00:39:42,003 --> 00:39:45,003
We thought of that.
705
00:39:48,843 --> 00:39:50,683
Ah!
706
00:39:53,043 --> 00:39:55,002
Congratulations.
707
00:39:55,003 --> 00:39:57,842
All right, what's going on?
708
00:39:57,843 --> 00:40:00,003
For your and Pop's
future grandchild.
709
00:40:04,003 --> 00:40:06,002
TOY RATTLES
710
00:40:06,003 --> 00:40:10,002
See, Mariette and Charley,
they didn't want any fuss, Ma,
711
00:40:10,003 --> 00:40:12,522
and so I promised them, but...
712
00:40:12,523 --> 00:40:14,003
I'm no good at keeping secrets.
713
00:40:16,003 --> 00:40:20,002
I know it's not as much of
a holiday camp as you lot make out,
714
00:40:20,003 --> 00:40:22,362
but thanks for looking after him.
715
00:40:22,363 --> 00:40:27,003
I just need to know why is it
Pop was told, and I wasn't?
716
00:40:29,003 --> 00:40:32,002
Ma, just don't tell the others.
717
00:40:32,003 --> 00:40:35,002
Mariette and Charley don't want
any fuss till they're ready.
718
00:40:35,003 --> 00:40:36,843
Course I won't.
719
00:40:40,003 --> 00:40:42,002
They're gonna have a baby!
720
00:40:42,003 --> 00:40:44,682
We're gonna be aunties!
I'm Aunty Zinnia!
721
00:40:44,683 --> 00:40:46,002
Another christening!
722
00:40:46,003 --> 00:40:48,363
No, absolutely not!
We'll arrange this one...
723
00:40:50,003 --> 00:40:51,003
Hello, Ma!
724
00:40:54,003 --> 00:40:57,002
JOYFUL LAUGHTER
725
00:40:57,003 --> 00:41:01,842
And I regard unattributed innuendo,
masquerading as evidence,
726
00:41:01,843 --> 00:41:03,002
to be a very shaky basis
727
00:41:03,003 --> 00:41:06,002
for overturning
a well-considered judgement.
728
00:41:06,003 --> 00:41:08,842
Are you out of your tiny?
729
00:41:08,843 --> 00:41:11,362
No, and the verdict stands.
730
00:41:11,363 --> 00:41:13,002
Well, we're not giving up.
731
00:41:13,003 --> 00:41:14,042
I work for a newspaper,
732
00:41:14,043 --> 00:41:17,002
and we will make sure everyone knows
about this abuse of power.
733
00:41:17,003 --> 00:41:19,522
I'd advise that you didn't.
734
00:41:19,523 --> 00:41:22,362
Any attempt to raise the matter
or appeal again,
735
00:41:22,363 --> 00:41:27,003
and I'll be minded
to double Sidney Larkin's sentence.
736
00:41:28,003 --> 00:41:30,003
What...?!
737
00:41:31,683 --> 00:41:35,002
So he has been
well and truly done like a kipper,
738
00:41:35,003 --> 00:41:37,522
as Pop would no doubt describe it.
739
00:41:37,523 --> 00:41:40,682
Right. You have to say,
they got jolly close.
740
00:41:40,683 --> 00:41:43,002
Pinkie will be breathing
a sigh of relief
741
00:41:43,003 --> 00:41:45,002
out of her pair of pretty lungs.
742
00:41:45,003 --> 00:41:46,002
Yes.
743
00:41:46,003 --> 00:41:49,002
Obviously, there's a slight
disappointment that Major Sprague
744
00:41:49,003 --> 00:41:52,002
didn't actually bump Larkin's
sentence up to two years, but...
745
00:41:52,003 --> 00:41:55,002
Stop now.
746
00:41:55,003 --> 00:41:56,203
Something wrong?
747
00:41:58,043 --> 00:42:01,002
Do you need a drink
at three o'clock in the afternoon?
748
00:42:01,003 --> 00:42:03,002
Yes, I do,
749
00:42:03,003 --> 00:42:06,002
because I appear to be married to
a man without a shred of conscience.
750
00:42:06,003 --> 00:42:11,002
The Larkins are an irritant,
but they've never been evil.
751
00:42:11,003 --> 00:42:13,002
Is there a difference? Really?
752
00:42:13,003 --> 00:42:15,002
You cooked up this plan
with the Jerebohms.
753
00:42:15,003 --> 00:42:17,002
Well, I was more of a consultant.
754
00:42:17,003 --> 00:42:20,003
And I let it happen because frankly
I never thought it would work...
755
00:42:21,843 --> 00:42:23,002
..but Pop is in prison.
756
00:42:23,003 --> 00:42:26,003
Doesn't that
make you feel uncomfortable?
757
00:42:44,003 --> 00:42:46,002
Do you know what this is?
758
00:42:46,003 --> 00:42:49,842
Once again,
it's decent working people
759
00:42:49,843 --> 00:42:53,002
being beaten down by
the powers of class and privilege.
760
00:42:53,003 --> 00:42:54,202
Well, perhaps, but...
761
00:42:54,203 --> 00:43:00,002
And, Angela,
in the nicest possible way,
762
00:43:00,003 --> 00:43:02,522
you and your father
have been a fat lot of good.
763
00:43:02,523 --> 00:43:04,002
It's a fair point.
764
00:43:04,003 --> 00:43:07,002
Look, it's not over yet, Ma.
765
00:43:07,003 --> 00:43:09,003
But it is, isn't it?
766
00:43:10,003 --> 00:43:14,003
We've been living on hope,
and it's run out.
767
00:43:15,683 --> 00:43:18,003
And it's me that's gotta go
and tell that to Pop tomorrow.
768
00:43:20,003 --> 00:43:21,002
That's if I haven't been round
769
00:43:21,003 --> 00:43:24,002
to the Jerebohms and the Normans
tonight, shot 'em all
770
00:43:24,003 --> 00:43:26,002
and got myself arrested.
771
00:43:26,003 --> 00:43:28,003
KNOCK AT DOOR
772
00:43:35,003 --> 00:43:37,002
Hello, Mrs Larkin.
773
00:43:37,003 --> 00:43:39,002
What do you want?
774
00:43:39,003 --> 00:43:43,682
I've heard the latest
about your husband
775
00:43:43,683 --> 00:43:47,002
and... I'm uncomfortable.
776
00:43:47,003 --> 00:43:49,003
Uncomfortable?
777
00:43:50,043 --> 00:43:52,842
Well, we are rather worse than that.
778
00:43:52,843 --> 00:43:55,362
Yes, yes, you must be.
779
00:43:55,363 --> 00:43:59,002
So unless you have your husband's
sawn-off head in your bag
780
00:43:59,003 --> 00:44:03,522
to show me, or the solution
to our problems, I'd go home.
781
00:44:03,523 --> 00:44:05,003
I-I, well...
782
00:44:06,683 --> 00:44:09,003
..I do have some information.
783
00:44:13,003 --> 00:44:17,003
Sorry, I had a sherry earlier,
and it's, er...
784
00:44:18,683 --> 00:44:20,523
..it's just catching up with me.
785
00:44:23,003 --> 00:44:29,003
There are things going on
which you should know about.
786
00:45:01,003 --> 00:45:03,003
THEY LAUGH
787
00:45:36,363 --> 00:45:38,843
THEY LAUGH
788
00:45:45,003 --> 00:45:47,683
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