Original subtitles

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DMSD Online

DMSD Online presents

Kinomir Production Company

with financial support of Ministry of Culture of the Russian Federation

Alexandra Lupashko, Anton Sokolov Vitas Eisenakh, Tatiana Yakovenko

Maria Poezzhayeva, Vladimir Yakovenko Aleksandr Ratnikov, Maria Bushmelyova

Written & Directed by Tamara Alenikova Cinematography by Arunas Baraznauskas R.G.C.

Production Design by Vladimir Yevsikov Music by Konstantin Shevelev

Costume Designer Galina Uvarova

Make-up by Olga Kurkina

Editor Olga Proshkina

Sound by Natalya Roginskaya

Executive Producer Sergey Perepechko

Associate Producer Yuriy Stolyarov

General Producer Tatyana Yakovenko

present a film by Tamara Alenikova

SMILEY

Espresso with chocolate!

No! No chocolate!

Or maybe just regular coffee?

Hold on…

Go ahead. I can tell you know what you want.

I don't know yet. Maybe I’ll order tea… green tea…

Why tea? You've just ordered coffee with chocolate?

So is it tea or coffee?

Espresso with nothing to go.

Regular coffee with cream and sugar.

To go.

- Oh, sorry. - Sorry.

THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS HERE AND NOW

TATA

Okay. Let's go back to work.

Just a minute!

Hi, Tusya. I was just about to call you.

Hey, Egor, are you coming by or am I meeting you at the wedding planner?

What to do you want there? And why today?

- You just said urgent! - Of course, it’s urgent!

I'm getting on a plane today.

A plane? ... Where are you going?

Today is Friday! We discussed this.

Oh, honey, no! Don't you know that airports are open on Fridays?

- Excuse me? - That wasn't to you.

- It’s force majeure, honey! - What force majeure?!

What are you talking about?

And where are you?

Honey, where could I be? I'm always near you, you know that.

Yes, okay! That wasn't for you.

I have to go to Spain for the weekend. It's business.

Honey, I already told you about this.

Egor, don’t try toget out of this. You're not at the IRS.

I didn’t forget anything. But if you want me to forget all, ...

- ... then maybe that's for the best. - Sweetie, I really have to go to Spain.

What’s the big deal? I’ll be back by Monday.You have things to do.

- Excuse me… - Yes, I got it.

Egor, stop! Tell me you’re joking, ...

- ... or I’ll cancel everything! - Tusya… listen, ...

... the crisis is ruining the business, and we have to do something.

Please leave a message. The subscriber is unavailable.

- “What are your plans for the weekend?” - “No plans, just staying in.»

“How about we make plans together?»

At the moment, the subscriber is unavailable.

“Yes, Where?! When?!

The subscriber is unavailable.

At the moment, the subscriber is…

Flight number 206 from Moscow has just landed…

Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

Are you okay?

I'm OK… considering I wasn't planning on taking a shower in public…

... then I guess I'm alright.

I know, but it must feel very refreshing after a long flight.

Oh really?! I feel like I'm at the spa.

Okay, come on, help me clean this up.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Clean it!

Hello? Where are you?

In the middle of nowhere!

You didn't come?

I'm here, and I even took a shower already.

It seems like that's what people do right off the plane here.

Where are you? I’m here, but you’re late.

Is this you?

This is me.

This is me!

Why aren’t you coming out? Are you scared?

No. I’m coming out.

Hi!

Sorry, I didn’t mean to.

You've made a real flashmob. Awesome!

Flattering?

Of course, not.

- Aren't we going to hug? - Sure.

- Or are you afraid of getting wet? - No, let's hug.

No, really, you are…

You're the awesome one. I’m nothing special.

And for the future, unlike you, I love compliments.

- So... don’t be shy. - Really? Well...

Then you’re not just awesome. You're the best.

- Are you scared? - Nope.

Hold on tight!

[…and so Dad was gone.]

I feel bad for Mom. She’s still young and beautiful.

But she’ll never meet someone like him.

And Dad loved Mom, and Mom loved Dad.

It was during their entire lives, since high school time.

He always used to say, “Natasha, don’t be afraid of anything.

There’s nothing that I can't protect my girls from”.

And then he died in this accident, ...

[... just crashed…]

And now there's no one to protect her.

[Only…]

me… and Egor, of course.

Dad liked Egor…

Sorry. I'm overloading you.

- I don't know why I'm talking so much. - I like it.

Go ahead.

I don’t know whatI can do, but…

... I think I can be…and…will be that way.

What?

Love… forever.

- What are you doing? - I want to say something. That…

That you just touched my foot.

- No! What?! I would never! - What do you mean never?

- Those were my legs, not me! - What do you mean not you?

No, I can’t believe it!

You actually just touched my foot with your leg!

- No! – I’m sitting here, and you seem so serious.

[I’m telling you about my Mom and Dad. And you – ...]

... – just bam!…

And gently touched me by the foot under the table. I didn’t get it at first.

I was there, with my mom and dad.

And then I thought, "Why can’t I concentrate?!"

Okay, yes, yes...

I touched you, I did… huh...

What, I can't even touch you?

I wasn’t trying to offend you.

Youjust said it was gently.

Hey, do you like to break it down?

Go ahead, crush it all.

You aren't like Johnny Depp. I love him!

Johnny Depp? You better watch it. I'm a jealous man.

That tickles!

Fine, you’re not Johnny Depp, But I'm Scarlett Johansson!

Are you ticklish? Being ticklish is a sign of jealousy.

We have a lot in common.

Hello?

Hello, honey, what’s up?

Why didn't you answer your phone all evening?

I can’t function normally when you don't answer my call.

It worries me.

- Are you pissed off? - No.

[Don’t worry about it. Everything's fine.]

I’ll call you later. Okay?

[Bye.]

Let’s sleep some more.

Sure.

Are you upset?

No, I don't think so.

Do you know why?

No, I don’t.

I don't know anything about you. But I want to!

- What? - To know.

I want to know everything about you!

That's mine.

- But… - Your ringtone is shorter.

That's my phone.

I told you, we have a lot in common.

- Hello? I heard you changed your address?

Pasha, hurry up – what do you need?

Spit it out.

Professor, I’m not asking what you’ve been doing all night.

Kir, we're supposed to be getting ready.

Or is there a change of plans?

Pasha, I’ll call you back.

So?

I completely forgot.

It totally flew out of my mind.

Tomorrow is our action. We wanna get together at my place.

- And what changed? - Everything.

Everything changed.

I don't think anything's changed. Go ahead and get together.

Call him in here.

I need to tell you something.

- Call him! - Who?

Pasha, or whatever his name is?

You’re so beautiful.

I can't even looking at you.

Your flattering?

No, it’s the truth!

You're great!

- Yours? - No, not mine.

- Mine?! - Yours!

- Tata, are you alright? - I’m sleeping!

- With whom? - With no one.

Although I’m entitled to my own privacy.

Right before your wedding? I’m not so sure.

They called from your office. They wanted to move your car in the parking lot.

But you took your car keys…

Tata, all I want to know is that you're keeping it together, ...

... you're not spending time with strangers, ...

... you're not speeding in your car, ...

... and not doing anything to regret later!

That's reasonable enough.

I'm doing anything wrong.

I’ll explain it all to you later. I love you! Bye!

Bye.

That was Mom.

She’s afraid that some thing may happen to me…

Pasha!

Hello?

Pasha, listen to me!

Hotel “Europe”, ...

... Room 55. Get here fast!

Good morning. I want to order room service.

Two orders of breakfast!

Why are you shouting?

Fine, then three lunches.

Yes, I’m starving.

They’re yellingas if we're in the middle of nowhere.

Have I told you today, "You’re very beautiful?"

I think you have…

- Well?.. - You definitely have.

You know, people should learn...

... to use second-hand things.

And that shouldn’t be embarrassing...

... nor should it be linked to the lack of money. It should be... cool!

People should be conscious of recycling their garbage.

But as long as people keep consuming without thinking...

... they can''t understand the need for recycling and reusing.

Very soon we'll be surrounded by waste.

- Let me help you. - Okay.

Listen.

I need telling you some very important thing.

- Quiet... - Look…

- Housekeeping? - What?

I’m asking, "Do you need housekeeping?"

I put up the “Do Not Disturb" sign. Isn’t that enough?

Or should I put an ad in the local paper?

Just look at them, «Do not disturb»!

When people have some rest...

It’s okay. Let’s keep going.

Yelling like crazy, how I'd suppose to know not to disturb?

I told them not to disturb, and they're bothering us.

Listen, I really need to tell you something important.

Only it is actually important.

Wait a second!

I told you not to bother us. People are relaxing!

How am I supposed to get the message across?

I’m sorry!

Birds?

Don’t be afraid of anything!

Why are they so loud?

I don’t know… They’re going south…

Clean city! Here and now!

Clean city! Here and now!

- Clean city is our dream! - Clean city is our dream!

Dreams come true!

People, be happy!

- Yes, Egor? - Honey, are you ok? Where are you?

This is driving me crazy! I can’t work! What is this all about?

Everything’s fine. I’m in another city. Everything is OK!

Stop it! What’s all that noise over there? Got you stoned?

Where are you? I’m coming to get you out of there!

Come on, buddy, go back to the airport!

You don't need to rescue me from anywhere…

- Tata! - So no need to come here!

What?

I'm telling you not to rescue me!

- I decided… - I don't get it!

The wedding is off!

What did you say?!

“I love you!”

Love and happiness to all!

Dreams come true!

“Slavic Express”

NADEZHDA

“Are you okay?”

Okay.

Sit!

The dog, not you.

Your documents? Where are you heading?

You look scared. What are you so afraid of?

Your documents, please!

So you’re going to your final destination?

What is the purpose of your trip? Business?

No, why? I’m going to meet my bride.

No wonder you look so pale.

Well, go on and don’t be afraid.

Have a nice trip! Our women don’t bite.

Dear Anna, I would like to meet you.

My name is Paul.

I’m a Russian-speaking doctor living in California.

I've attached a photo of me... I look forward to your reply.

I am forty…

I am forty-five.

“Love, Sex and Friendship”

A manual for avoiding ten psychological traps.

This book discusses in detail...

... ten basic inner and external psychological traps.

People, prone to getting into inner psychological traps, ...

... easily become the victims...

... of psychological manipulators, ...

... because every external psychological trap is based on the fact...

... that a person gets into a type of inner psychological trap.

Our manual presents...

... a series of counter-actions one should take...

... in order to avoid getting into a trap or to find a way out of one.

What's wrong with you? Why are you so scared?

Nobody's trying to harm you. It's just the opposite.

Do whatever you want. It's totally up to you.

Excuse me?

Maybe you’re hungry? ... Or do you want a drink?

No, no, I don’t eat past 8 p.m.

In fact, I don't....

“Are you OK?” “Yes" Cool! Waiting for you.”

Excuse me, I need to make an urgent call.

Oh, for God’s sake!

Careful.

Mom!

Mom, I’m here!

Misha's here.

Wait!

Anna?

- Hi. - How are you?

I’m here to meet you. How was your trip?

Thank you. Everything was great.

Oh, thank God! My mom and I were worried.

She says anything can happen on a train…

Why are we hanging around here?

You must be tired.

You need to get some rest after such a long trip.

Why are we being so formal? We were on closer terms, weren’t we?

That was online. It’s different there, easier…

My mom says you should be polite when first meeting someone.

- First you have toget to know a person. - Right.

How old are you?

I’m already turned 18.

I just... look younger.

- Why? - Oh no reason.

Everything is okay. Let’s go.

What am I doing here?! She's just a child!

I could have had a daughter her age.

If I didn't work so much.

And what to do in this hole for the next two days?

This is insane! Those damn matchmaking websites!

I'm such an idiot to think I could find a wife online.

I have to get out of here ASAP...

... before the weather gets nasty.

I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.

I’ve been hungry since yesterday! Is this a real Pie Shop?

I can eat ten patties... at once.

- I’m starving, too. - Let's go.

Hi! Can we please order ten patties?

- What are they with? - Why order if you don’t know what you want?

Your daddy's funny. Funny and handsome.

Well, sweetie, what are you ordering?

With meat, potatoes, cabbage, ...

... mushrooms… And you had some with jam - ...

... two of each.

Two coffees with cream.

- Is it okay that I ordered so many? - That's perfect.

Keep the change.

Eat, sweetie. You're too skinny. You look sick.

Do you live without your mama?

With mama. But our mama is slaving away at two jobs.

Please.

Thank you.

Oh, don’t tell me about him, …

... He is to blame that I’m sad,

... That I stopped believing people!

That my heart is alone, ...

... And I'm tired to keep living.

Oh, don’t tell me about him, ...

... Don’t tell me about him…

Why don’t you respond to your texts? Don't be shy to do it in front of me.

No, why? I answer when it's important.

But these are no big deal.

In grief, I forgot to sleep, ...

... I don't blame him.

So please tell me about him.

Everyone tell me all about him.

Oh, beamer! Super wheels!

- What kind of car do you have? - Same on in a different color.

Hi. Where could I check my email around here?

Or do I have to go back to Moscow for that?

No, you can do it right here, at the telegraph office.

Sometimes their desktops freeze up, then there's no service.

Young man, I recommend that you drive more safely.

Especially in residential areas.

Your manner of driving is dangerous to pedestrians.

Hey girl, tell your dad that he should take a chill pill.

And take you ona rollercoaster ride.

They're cool and safe!

Damn it! What's up with all the drivers over here?

Oh shit!

Sorry. It's no big deal. I can wash it at home for you.

We have a brand new washing machine.

It’s okay. It's just clothes.

- No, it's not okay. You’re aguest here. - Let’s go.

Hi.

Hello.

Can I have please my room key?

I need to change as soon as possible.

We’ve been expecting you.

Cash only and your passport, please.

Oh God, where did you get…

- ... so dirty? - I don’t know. It's a clean and beautiful town.

Call me if you need anything.

Go sit over there, little girland wait for your uncle.

Thank you.

- I’ll be right back! - No problem. Everything is super!

I’ll hang around here.

What are you starting at?

- Who is it? - I was just thinking…

... maybe you need your clothes washed?

Just let me know – I do the laundry very well.

And my cooking is great, too.

- I can tell that you're alone! - Thank you for your offering!

I don't need anything for right now.

Why do you text me all the time? I already told you that...

... I don't care about anything.

[I am leaving!]

What's the point of seeing each other and hashing this over again?

Stop bugging me!

Do I leave the key here, or should I take it with me?

Well, people don't really steal around here. I mean…

... can, of course, but not very often.

Give me your key, and I’ll take care of everything. Don't worry.

Thank you.

I can’t talk anymore! Bye.

- Is something wrong? - No, nothing!

- Everything is super! - Are you sure?

Yes! Super!

- What's the deal with your Internet? - What do you mean?

We have Internet. You can use it 24 hours a day at the telegraph office!

Don’t you worry about anything. Come back and you'll get a great rest here!

Come on. I'll walk you home.

Oh, why?!

I thought you'd come over to our place. Mom cooked dinner.

I thought we’d have a good time!

You’ve come such a long way…

Let's go. I’ll take you home.

And then come back to the hotel. I am actually really tired.

Let’s go.

What did you crawl out for?

My goodness!

You don't like me at all.

No, that’s not the point. Everything's fine. I'm just a little tired.

We'll go somewhere… tomorrow.

We could get to know each other like normal people …

You’d meet my mom…

I’ll meet your mother… tomorrow.

And in the evening, I'll go back to Moscow.

And then catch my flight home.

You think I'm clueless or something?

I saw it all at the station. You just didn't like me.

And don’t feel bad for us!

My mom is right. Why do all of you keep coming here?

- Are we here? - Yes.

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. You’re a nice girl.

You have a bright future ahead of you.

Go home for now.

Central City Library

Ma'am! Why are you falling?!

Can't you see she doesn’t feel well!

Guys, why are you just standing there?

What happened?

- Is anyone a doctor? - What happened?

Excuse me.

Excuse me!

- Driver, stop! - Don't you hear me?! Stop!

- This woman is dying! - Is there a doctor?

Idiot, go ahead and kill us all.

The bus stops here. Get off, everyone.

- Excuse me, can I help you in any way? - Yes, you can if you leave with everyone!

- What’s her pulse? I’m a doctor. - I can’t feel the pulse.

Try to keep the crowd back. And open the sunroof. She needs fresh air.

Get off! Get off the bus.

Hello? It’s Dr. Marchenko from Hospital 13.

Send an ambulance to the corner of Lenin and Marx!

A woman, about 70 y.o. I suspect a heart attack. Her condition is critical.

Thank you for your help. By the way, I’m Nadezhda.

No need to thank me.

Nadezhda! What a beautiful name!

- And I'm Pavel. - Pavel?

A beautiful name, too… Such a masculine name.

Nadya… Nadezhda!

May I walk you home? I can’t leave you here alone…

It’s alright. I live nearby.

And where is your way? To the train station?

Yes... yes.

It got chilly all of a sudden, or is it just me?

- Put this on, maybe it’ll warm you up. - Oh, no!

I’ll run home and warm up.

The weather is changing.

- The weather is wonderful. - Yes.

And the town is wonderful!

Well, this is home.

Unfortunately, I can’t invite you up for a cup of tea.

We have a guest today – my daughter’s fiancé is here.

But maybe…

Some other time!

Oh, you're probably here on a business trip?

Or why even wait for next time?

Come on. I’m inviting you in.

The light is on, so that means that they're not in bed yet.

We’ll meet the fiancé together.

Honestly, I don’t get this guy.

He is an old man, and my daughter is just a young girl.

Some stupid Internet matchmaking thing.

- I know. - What?

- It’s completely ridiculous! It's nonsense! - Sure, nonsense!

What can I do to fix this?

When I saw her this morning at the station,

I thought: why am I even here? And I decided to leave right away!

She’s a lovely girl, but what do I have to do with it?

Why am I here? What did I want to find?

Why am I telling you all of this?

I’m sorry…

I’m very tired… I have to go home…

Have a good trip.

Nadya!

Oh God, wait…

- Mommy! - Yes?

What?

What is it, Anyuta?

I have a surprise for you!

Oh! My goodness!

- How did you manage this? - Sasha did it.

He’s crazy about photography.

How sweet!

I love it! Let’s put it here.

Okay.

- Thank you. - You’re so cool, mom!

My baby.

Go get it.

I know why I’m here.

And I know what I wanted to find here.

What…?

“I love you”

“Asya, this is my 1,820th text in 4 years, 11 months, and 25 days.”

"Still working by your lonesome? Get over here»

«ASYA'S NEST»

VLADIK.

- Yes? Hello? - Vlad?

- Your car has arrived. - Great. I’m on my way.

What's the hold up? Get over here!

- Who are these passengers, commander? - Our accounting department.

We're getting ready for Halloween!

- Isn’t it too early? - We need to do get prepared.

We have a quick turnover, keeping the same sizes.

We’re planning a real event for our customers!

After all, we're in an economic crisis!

I’m leaving today. I’ll be there tomorrow with new wheels.

Vladik! Vladik!

Vladik! Vladik!

“Asya + Vladik.”

Vladik!

What?

You’re stuck on the phone? What, you don't get it yet?

I told you that she’d dump you, without thinking twice.

And you’ll ruin your life thanks to her.

She was dancing with another guy at prom.

Wasn’t that enough for you?

Stop chasing her!

Hello? Why don’t you say something? I know it’s you!

Listen, I told you already. Either marry me, or don’t call me anymore.

You can’t be such a fool!

Wait!

Please wait!

I need time to think…

About how it’s going to be… I…

Well?

Why aren’t you saying something? He’s going to marry her.

First, he need to pass his exams. Then we’ll deal with it.

I’ll do everything. Just wait! Please!

What is it? Is she pregnant?

Come on, say something.

- He's planning on getting married! - Please don't yell.

We won't be able to deal with it later. Can be too late.

Oh God, she's pregnant!

Why can't I ever find a pencil in the kitchen?

Where do they all go? Are you eating themor something?

I don’t know anything about your pencils.

But I do know that your son is getting married.

- Because that slut is pregnant! - Why do you think she’s pregnant?

I married you when you were pregnant, too.

Katya, find me a pencil for my crossword puzzle.

Over my dead body! You hear?

I won’t allow that slut to ruin your life!

Calm her down! Tell her that I’m not pregnant.

And you can think as long as you like. It won’t change anything.

And never call me again! You hear? I’m leaving.

Wait, please…

I promise…

What's going on?

I forgot that word while you two were whispering.

Vladislav Yuryev!

Vladislav Yuryev!

Yuryev!

Yuryev, come in, please.

State you first and last name, and the title of the piece.

Yuryev. Vladislav Yuryev.

Shevelev. «Love Fantasy.»

Please.

Calm down, please, and start from the beginning.

Begin.

I can’t!

I’m sorry, I…

I’m sorry! I can’t!

Vladik!!!

“No service.”

I need service.

I’ll call you back. I have customers.

When? When I have the time!

Mister, are you looking for someone?

- Yes. - Who?

- A connection! - What a joke! A connection!

Well, you have to pay for it, ...

... but I’ll give it to you for free.

A bonus.

Great! I owe you.

“I came back to my parents.What about you? ...

... Reply by mail to...

... Apt. 25, 40 Kirova St., Svetloyar, Russia Here's no the Internet."

Mister, where are you running off to?

City Hospital

Where?

Mom.

Look who’s here.

Dad, this is Vladislav.

We haven’t seen each other in a long time, but you must remember him.

So why are you here now?

- Asya… - What?

What? You finally thought it through?

Yes, I did.

Mom, look at how thin he looks!

He must have not eaten anything since...

... my birthday party seven years ago.

Lanochka, let’s go.

Let’s run to the store.

We wanted to buy something yummy…

Let’s throw a little party with a good dinner.

Good to see you, Vladik.

I’m glad you decided to come.

Come on, we have to drop stop by home, too.

We haven’t been there for 24H for now.

Hi!

Hi!

How are you?

- Are you in pain? - No.

Not anymore.

And you?

Where did you come from?

And what are we going to do now?

We’re going to get married.

You're such a fool.

Let’s go.

Let me carry it.

Let’s go.

- Yep, this one. - Yeah.

But you haven’t seen these pics.

Hold on… here.

Is that the same one?

I bought it.

I thought you’d have to show up one day.

And it would be the perfect surprise.

A little something special.

Do you think it’ll grow?

Sure, it will. Hair isn't teeth. It’ll grow!

You know, it looks good on you. Seriously.

- You know what you look like? - What?

An alien.

- Want me to shave my head, too? - I do.

I don’t know how we will get to Moscow

in your spaceship, but I’ll try not to let your car down.

I don’t doubt it. How many vehicles have you driven in your life?

Right. I used to drive a tractor and even a tank.

Don't worry about me.

Just bring your bride to Moscow on this train... in safety.

Well, commander in chief, may I begin the mission?

You may!

Come here.

Let’s go.

My sweetheart!

Mommy, safe journey!

I love you, baby!

Goodbye! Goodbye!

See you soon!

See you!

I’ll call you.

I already miss you!

I’m dying!

Come back soon!

- Wait! - Where are you going?

Where? You wanna get under the train?

- I need to. Sorry. - You wanna die?

“I can’t live without you.”

Excuse me.

I love you!

(the ending credits)

© 2014 Kinomir

© 2016 DMSD