Original subtitles

-Just waiting for Casey.

No sign of her yet.

Okay.

Yeah, that works.

I have some stuff I can put up.

I can work with that.

Bedding, for sure.

I have part of my life in several bags.

Some of the most priceless things that I have.

-Why?

-Some of the only things I have left of Caylee.

-This one.

-Casey, why not just do the interview at your house?

-Um, I like my privacy.

Um, I also have a roommate

whose privacy I take very, very seriously.

And that's also my safe space

away from the outside world,

away from anything scary.

This was up in my mom's house.

Caylee was just a few months old here.

I've had this up since 2005.

And it's gone with me everywhere I've gone.

So...

This...

This is one of my favorite pictures

because she just had this look of angst on her face,

like, "You're stopping me for what?

To take my picture again."

Her Princess Leia wig. Two-layered tutu.

She's actually wearing butterfly wings that you can't see.

The pink cowboy boots. I let her dress herself.

She's running around screaming,

having the time of her life on my mom's porch.

And I asked her to stop so I could get a picture.

And she does this. This.

Makes this face.

And then I go, "Okay, bye." And runs around again.

Like the little fairy princess that she was.

Thankfully, I have things like this to look back at,

things like this.

These moments that I had with her.

I was with her when she did this.

We broke probably every single one of these crayons.

Those moments were happy, innocent.

There was no trauma.

There was no darkness in those moments.

And too much of her memory is surrounded by that now.

-Our top story this morning.

A 2-year-old girl is missing,

and detectives say her mother has provided them

with more lies than information.

-Casey Anthony reported her 3-year-old daughter missing

in mid-July.

-The child was reported missing 31 days late.

-Investigators said she'd given them bogus information

about her employer and where she dropped off the child.

-Casey kept on going out and having fun

while her daughter was missing.

-Caylee's remains were hidden in the woods.

-Mother Casey Anthony has been charged with her murder.

-Caylee died because her mother decided

that the life that she wanted was more important.

-Justice for Caylee!

-This is the Super Bowl of trials.

-The most famous murder case since O.J. Simpson.

-The jury is entering the courtroom right now.

This is the Casey Anthony trial verdict coming back.

-As to the charge of first-degree murder,

we, the jury, find the defendant not guilty.

-No regard at all for that baby.

What is wrong with these people?

-The devil is dancing tonight.

-Casey Anthony has enemies worldwide now.

-She better start buying a condo in Zimbabwe

because there's nowhere in Florida

this woman would be able to live.

-Casey Anthony has stayed out of the public eye.

She has not done a single on-camera interview

since she was acquitted in her murder trial.

-Casey's never told her story.

There's questions like,

well, does she have something to hide?

-She completely disappeared.

And actions speak louder than words.

-If you could speak to Casey now, what would you say to her?

-Listen, I think I would just ask her,

"Look, just tell us why."

-Why what?

-Why you killed your daughter.

-All right, Katie, do you want to slate?

-I'm about to.

-Okay.

Casey interview. ABC marker, soft sticks.

-Why talk to me now

when you're not getting creative control?

-I just need someone to be willing to listen.

And I've spent the last 10 years

making sure that I knew who I was.

That I started to cope with this loss.

And that I had something to say to make my daughter proud,

but also to honor her properly.

And this is part of that.

It's hard because a thousand questions go through my head.

I'm responsible for answering every...

Everyone in the world's questions

about her, about what happened.

I still don't know.

- What? - What happened to Caylee.

I know what I'm afraid of.

I know what eats at me at night.

I know what eats at me day after day.

Because I know what I lived through.

- All right. Where are we going? - That way. Only one way.

-All right, let's do it.

- Oh, great. - I've never seen any.

I've been coming here for over a year.

I've never seen an alligator. We're fine.

-How often do you do a hike like this?

-I come here quite a bit. I have a few other places

I like to go to that are secluded.

There usually aren't people.

I've had really bad social anxiety for the last decade.

Going to crowded places by myself

is not something I feel comfortable doing anymore.

I typically take pictures when I'm here.

-Casey, what's your tattoo?

-This? It's peonies and half a mandala.

Symbolizes growth, rebirth.

I have fought so hard for a normal life.

My defense team was very adamant about making sure

that I was able to have a fresh start after the trial.

I didn't receive any help or assistance

from my biological family.

I was given a little bit of money from my defense team

to start to get on my feet.

They're not just my legal team, but my surrogate family here.

-I found a little apartment just north of my house downtown by...

-Pat McKenna was lead investigator during my case.

I've been working for Pat McKenna

as his research assistant for 10 1/2 years.

-Okay, so I guess we'll make a file and printout.

-Give me two seconds and I'll see if I can Word search

the document and find it.

I've worked a lot of cases over the years.

It's the whole reason I'm doing what I'm doing now

to pay forward everything that was done for me.

I've spent the last 10 1/2 years

doing primarily criminal defense work

because I don't ever want to see someone be pigeonholed

by not only law enforcement, but the media,

be railroaded like I was.

I like my life.

At least there are moments where I feel like I'm not alone,

where those holes in my heart that will never go away

feel a little bit smaller.

Caylee was born in August of 2005.

I was 19.

The few pictures that I do have of me with her

that other people took was when she was first born.

That was the best decision that I ever made in my life,

was having a kid, was becoming a mom.

She was perfect.

The only person in this world

that matters to me still is my daughter.

But I'm still defending the fact that I didn't hurt her.

I live it every single day.

And no one can ever tell me

I should just get over the fact that my daughter isn't here

and I've been blamed for her being gone.

-My name is John Allen.

At the time of the Anthony case,

I was a sergeant at the Orange County Sheriff's Office,

and I supervised the Anthony investigation.

It was an odd story.

Certainly, the night this happened,

nobody thought it would turn out the way that it's turned out.

On July 15, 2008, Cindy Anthony, Caylee's grandmother,

called 911.

-What we believe we have at this point is a 3-year-old

that's been missing for a month. Didn't make sense.

I mean, you know, usually, when a child goes missing,

parents report it right away.

-So here we are at Hopespring Drive,

the Anthony home.

My name's Eric Edwards.

One of the homicide investigators came to my desk

and said, "Are you aware of what John Allen and Yuri have going?"

That night, Yuri Melich

was the on-call missing persons investigator.

He spent a great deal of time with Casey

trying to collect information

that may lead to the location of Caylee.

At that point, Yuri affords Casey an opportunity to take him

to several locations in the Orlando area

in an effort to try to determine where the child may be.

-He drove her to the apartment where Casey said

she had dropped Caylee off.

There was no Zenaida Gonzalez that lived at the place.

In fact, that apartment had been vacant for months.

And of course, we learned pretty quickly

that she was lying about a lot of things.

In Yuri's interview with her,

Casey said she worked at Universal Studios.

And, so, that morning, Detective Melich went

to Universal and found out that she...

That she wasn't an employee, she didn't work there.

So I told him to stay there and I would go pick her up

and I would bring her to Universal

and we would see what she would do, how she would react,

thinking, at that point,

she would admit that she was making it up

and she didn't really work there.

But that's not the reaction we got.

She said, "Oh, yeah, fine."

We walk into the HR building

where she has told us she has an office,

and she's kind of waving at people,

and they are waving back.

I mean, but they're like, you know, they're waving like...

You could tell by their expressions

that, you know, she doesn't work in the building.

She's not somebody known to the people in there.

We actually turn down a hallway where there's nowhere to go.

It's a dead-end hall.

Casey turned and looked at us

and said, "I don't really work here, so..."

She was arrested for lying to Yuri

during the course of that portion of the investigation.

-Why do you think Casey felt the need to lie?

-Why do I think she felt the need to lie?

I mean, listen, I...

Look, I think she killed her daughter

and she didn't get in trouble, she didn't want to get caught.

Certainly that... that would be a motive to lie.

-Casey Anthony held her head high

after being arrested yesterday,

charged with child neglect and lying to the authorities.

So far, investigators had no luck locating that friend

who was supposedly caring for the young girl.

And it's just one more element in a strange story

that has even the woman's own mother concerned.

-Maybe she's confused, maybe she's sick.

Maybe something's happened that she doesn't know.

Hello?

-Hello. This is a free call from...

-Casey.

- an inmate from the Orange County Correctional Center.

-That's the first time Casey called her family from the jail.

Did you get the impression that she was as upset

and worried about her daughter as her mother

and her friend were?

Um...

I think this is her being herself.

-I can remember where I was in my home office

when I saw that there was this woman taken into custody,

child neglect, and a child missing for 30 days,

not reported.

At that time, I was an investigative reporter

at WKMG in Orlando.

I wanted to find out more about this family.

George and Cindy.

Early on, they were grandparents who wanted to know,

they said, where their granddaughter was.

-I will walk every inch of this Earth

and open every door and knock on every door.

And I will look in every nook and cranny...

until I find her.

-You know, they presented to the public

as people who didn't know what happened

and wanted to find Caylee.

- If you could wear this... - I would, I would love to.

- I would deeply appreciate it.

-And then you have this emotional outpouring

on behalf of Caylee.

-Here are the facts. Caylee is missing.

-100 showed up at the Anthonys' tonight to pray.

-I've just been keeping in contact

with this story every day.

She's just a precious little angel

that needs support from all around.

-Because of social media,

this took on a life of its own,

where you had these pictures of this beautiful little girl.

You can remember the video of Caylee singing.

- Do you hear her? - As a reporter,

my job changed because it was, like, all-consuming...

Find the next Casey Anthony story.

Because that is what people were watching the news for.

-At that time, we're able to re-create what Casey was doing

and thinking and who she was talking to.

The sheriff's office did a pretty thorough investigation

of her phones, so we made a public-records request.

One of Casey's former boyfriends,

Ricardo Morales, told investigators

that he got a message from Casey saying that she didn't feel

she could participate fully with her friends

because she was a mother.

In early May, she's having a Facebook chat with another guy

and tells him that, "I'm going crazy over here.

At least the kid is passed out."

-Tonight, police named the mom, Casey Anthony,

a person of interest.

Where is 2-year-old Caylee?

-The public thought that Casey didn't want to be a mother.

We don't typically think of mothers as murderers.

'Cause it was like, "Wait, did she murder her daughter?"

-Good afternoon.

We found more inconsistencies in the mother's story.

So we continue to look for witnesses and people

that may have additional information.

We went back and we listened to the 911 tapes,

and we hear Cindy's frantic voice.

-She's saying that Casey's car

smells like there's been a dead body in it.

-There's been some testimony about a car

that Ms. Anthony had the use of.

-It was a white Pontiac, and it was initially recovered

at their residence on Hopespring Drive.

We brought it in to our forensics bay.

-When we walked into the forensics bay,

it was clear to all of us,

if you've smelled that odor before,

it's pretty unmistakable.

We brought cadaver dogs in.

The dog will indicate to the handler in some way

that maybe a dead body has been there.

-He alerted to the odor of human decomposition.

- In the trunk of that car? - Yes, ma'am.

-This pointed us

in the direction that this child is dead.

And not only was she dead,

she had been in the trunk of Casey's car.

And, so... And, obviously, we couldn't say that for sure,

but it seemed pretty likely.

At this point, Casey was in jail.

And we all believed that we arrested the right person.

-Here we go.

-Casey Anthony walked out of a Florida jail Friday morning.

The mother of missing toddler Caylee Anthony

was released on a $500,000 bond.

-Hey, back off, you guys! Let her through!

- Get out of our neighborhood! - We live here.

-Tonight, the search for Caylee

reaches a boiling point, as you can see and hear.

Neighbors fighting back protesters demanding

Casey Anthony's return to jail.

Protesters feel Casey is hiding a horrible truth.

-What?

-She has completely removed herself

from any normal emotion of a mother missing a child.

And that is the most disturbing part for me.

-There was a lot of anger at Casey Anthony.

How could she not call the police for 30 days?

What was Casey doing during that time?

-When I was asked to assist on this case,

we interviewed friends, family members.

The impression that I started to get

was the existence of Caylee

was probably interfering with Casey's desire

to be more socially active with people of her own age.

From conducting these interviews,

the day that I think whatever terrible happened to Caylee

was June 16th.

And the last person other than Casey to see Caylee,

that we're aware of, was George Anthony.

-And looking at her desktop calendars,

Casey was much busier and much more socially active

after the 16th.

When we looked at the Photobucket account,

we could see the lifestyle

that she was living during that period of time.

Partying and hanging out.

During the 31 days,

Casey ended up stealing a checkbook from a friend,

Amy Huizenga.

Casey was using funds that did not belong to her.

You know, you see her going into stores.

No child with her,

not buying things that a mother would be buying for a child.

Nothing.

I have here that the 3rd of July

is when she gets that tattoo, "Bella Vita."

That means "the good life."

Your child is missing.

How do you get a tattoo, like a billboard,

showing the world "I'm living the perfect life"?

Who does that?

And then, the activity picked up with Tony Lazzaro.

Tony Lazzaro was Casey Anthony's boyfriend

at the time that Caylee went missing.

When they first met, Caylee was always with Casey.

I just think... boop... It stopped, you know?

And that being around the same time

in the time frame where she started staying with him.

So we interviewed Tony Lazzaro and friends,

many friends about this.

-My name is Clint House.

I was Tony Lazzaro's former roommate.

When I first found out that Caylee was missing,

I was just absolutely blown away.

It just doesn't make any sense.

In the early beginnings of the relationship,

Casey would bring Caylee over.

I saw Casey doing flash cards with her,

teaching her how to say words.

And that just made me

want to be that type of parent to my own child.

-She always, you know, had a backpack

with everything that Caylee needed

whenever she brought her over to the apartment.

She was such a good mom.

But that month that Caylee...

When we found out that she had been missing,

Casey showed no indication that anything was wrong.

She was just living her life.

We were all confused. We were like, "How is she missing?"

-She did absolutely nothing in the search for her child.

And that, I will never forgive her for.

-It was the right guilty verdict.

I did lie to law enforcement.

I admitted that I lied to law enforcement.

So I am a convicted liar. It's the truth.

-And what is your relationship to truth and lying today?

-I'm a little too honest. I'm blunt. I'm direct.

Almost painfully so.

-Today, would you say Casey is an honest person?

- Yes. - How honest?

-I think she's very truthful today.

I trust her so much

that I trust her with my research,

with my invoices.

-So in the past 10 years, you've never caught her

in an out-and-out lie? - Never.

Not in 10 years, or however long it's been, yeah.

I'm pretty good at catching lies.

It's kind of my job.

And she's very honest.

-I lost my entire life when I lost Caylee.

She was the only thing that truly

and honestly mattered to me.

I let her dress herself how she wanted to dress.

I let her eat what she wanted to eat, within reason.

She was thriving.

Well, Miss Life of the Party.

It's your party, you can do what you want to.

I was always there. I was a part of that.

I got to see how infectious she was in everyone's lives.

-She was just happy and fun,

and she would just light up a room, you know?

She was big brown eyes and just the cutest little smile.

My name is Annie Goderwis,

and I was once best friends with Casey Anthony.

I have "Caylee Marie" tattooed on my left shoulder.

-Why did you decide to do that?

-Um, because she deserves it.

She deserves to live with me forever.

I brought a couple of my high-school yearbooks.

There's Casey.

This is when she was in 10th grade.

She started dating a friend of mine.

We became close friends very quickly.

I think this picture was from my birthday.

Casey was a good mom. She took care of that child.

She loved that baby.

She was always focused on Caylee.

You know, she was a part of her. She was everywhere that she was.

-It's very clear, when I talked to the policemen,

they all very readily tell me that the motive here

was somebody who wanted to go out dancing

and was ready to kill her child.

-No way.

No way, shape, form.

I don't believe that for a second.

I understand how they will say that.

I get it.

That's not the Casey that I knew.

No way. She didn't kill her child.

Like

All the pictures that circulated on the news, on social media,

there's a matter of, I would say, maybe half-a-dozen pictures

that are from half-a-dozen different nights

over the span of a three-year time period.

There's a picture of her with her head in the toilet.

It was her 21st birthday.

Like, come on. It was her 21st birthday.

The media made it like all she wanted to do

was to kill her kid and go out and party.

It's not the Casey that I knew.

She...

was never like the life of the party.

She didn't go out with us all that often.

She was your typical mom. I mean, she loved that child.

We would go places in the car,

and there would be Goldfish all over Casey's back seat

because, like, the kid always had food.

She had toys.

Occasionally, Caylee would let me hold her.

Most of the time, she just wanted Casey.

She wanted her mom. She loved her mom.

Until she herself tells me that she did it,

there's no way, no way she killed that baby.

With Caylee's disappearance,

I think an accident probably happened.

And I think that she did what she always did,

and she lied.

When I was friends with Casey, she lied about everything.

When Casey was questioned by the police,

she said she dropped Caylee off at this apartment complex.

Well, I used to live in that apartment complex.

I think, in her mind, she wasn't lying.

She had brought Caylee there before.

She had never dropped her off, but Caylee had been there.

I'm fairly certain that she definitely was employed

at Universal at some point,

whether it was, like, right out of high school

or when she was in high school, I don't know.

Again, small truths.

-When I lied, during this and even prior to,

there was always at least some part of the truth

that was a part of the lie.

I did work at Universal for a very long time.

And, yeah, Sawgrass Apartments,

that's where Annie Downing lived.

A kernel of truth within the lie.

-So, let's go back to the beginning.

July 16, 2008,

the day that Caylee's kidnapping is reported.

What are you thinking and feeling on that call?

There's no emotion. - There's no nothing.

Nothing.

- Yeah. It's weird. - It's very weird.

I was so numb during so much of that.

I did meet someone named Zenaida Fernandez Gonzalez.

She was a babysitter, was a nanny... all of that's true.

Was not my nanny. Was not my babysitter.

That's the official entrance.

So we have to go around the back.

-So, at the time you're pulling up here with the cops,

you believe what about where Caylee is?

-She's okay. That's what I believed the entire time.

Not just with the cops.

Every day that I sat in jail up until the day she was found.

Every day.

-Help us understand, why were you lying to the cops?

-I lied to everyone because that was my whole life

up to that point.

Acting like everything's okay but knowing nothing was okay.

I've had years of therapy and...

I'm trying to analyze my own behavior

and explain my own behaviors.

All of this is a reaction to trauma.

Since 2008, I was suppressing those memories.

I remember my interactions with law enforcement,

but I don't really remember all of what was said.

Everything had its place on a shelf and had its own box.

I was trying to put as much of what was associated

with those memories into those boxes and locking it away

and putting it back on the shelf.

Now, saying all of this out loud for the first time,

the process is extremely painful.

I remember the detectives that I was with.

I didn't trust cops at that point.

I was frightened. I was scared.

And they go something along the lines of,

"Oh, so you work here?"

I hadn't worked at Universal

for like a year, year and a half, easily.

I remember the detectives walking me

into an interrogation room.

I made myself look crazy

and gave law enforcement absolutely no reason to believe

or trust anything that I said.

I get why, from an outside perspective,

all of this just seems so...

Because, even for me, it still feels that way.

As far as I'm concerned,

there's no justifying my actions or behavior.

Except to say that...

I was doing what I was conditioned to do.

Growing up, I lied a lot more than I ever told the truth

because telling the truth to anyone in the outside world

didn't happen.

On the surface, my family was typical.

Mother, father, son, and daughter.

Your standard middle-class, White American family.

My mom was a nurse. My father was a former cop.

When we moved to Florida, he was in security.

The outside world saw this... This perfect little family.

And there were moments of that, for sure.

But that wasn't the reality.

Our life at home was a lie.

Telling the truth, especially in our house, wasn't allowed.

It all comes back to my dad.

He was a man who was incapable

of ever telling anyone the truth.

My father wanted the world to believe

that he was the patriarch of the family.

That he was supporting our family

financially and otherwise.

There were so many things that he didn't want us to see.

My father was trying to hide that he wasn't working.

My mother was the true matriarch,

was the sole breadwinner.

She worked 14-to 16-hour days to not only keep our lights on,

but to keep food on the table.

My mom had found out that he had taken $60,000

out of her retirement.

He claims, at first, it was a Nigerian Ponzi scheme,

and then that he had gambled away the money.

The story kept evolving.

My father was also lying to hide the fact

that he was unfaithful to my mother,

to hide the fact that there were extracurricular activities

he was doing at night.

My mom was trying to again

put on that facade of this cohesive unit.

It was always that perfect persona

they wanted to put out for the public.

Protecting the family at all costs.

That was the only goal.

Protecting the truth of what was in our home.

-So, your options are eggs, fruit.

- Eggs and fruit? - Eggs and fruit.

Actually will be the first time I've made breakfast for anyone

other than myself for a very long time.

-How did you sleep?

-There's no such thing as good sleep.

Not that I know.

A lot of nights, I have very clear images

and flashbacks, nightmares.

My nightmare last night,

it was similar to other things that happened to me growing up.

I don't know if it's just flooding back

because of going back through pictures

and more switches being hit and more trauma.

-What was the nightmare last night?

-My father was holding me down and raping me.

That happens again and again and again.

When I was 8 years old,

my father started to come into my room at night.

I was physically hurt.

Scared because I was physically hurt

and I can't tell Mommy what happened.

She'll get mad at me. That's what I was told.

With my father, the abuse one day just stopped

just before my 12th birthday.

My brother started coming in shortly after I turned 12.

And it stopped around the time I turned 15.

Wasn't the same thing that happened with my father.

My brother never raped me. No, no, absolutely not.

But it was close enough.

Close enough where there was a pattern.

-But you did tell your mom about Lee.

-I did not.

Not until after I was already a mom.

Not till I was 19.

-Do you think she knew anyway?

-I've always questioned it.

What you have to realize about my mom

when I was younger, she was extremely controlling.

She tried to make sure I dressed as young as I possibly could,

to look as young as I possibly could.

It's not just feeling like my mom wanted to keep me a child.

I feel like she was trying to,

yes, keep me from being a sexual being.

I had to fit within these very specific parameters

and be that perfect little girl,

even when I wasn't a little girl anymore.

She was always trying to create this image

of what our family should be, which was not what it was.

I think she was lying to herself,

trying to keep together this family unit

that she was fighting so hard for.

It was just assumed whatever Mom and Dad said,

son and daughter follow suit.

So, I lied a lot more than I ever told the truth

because the truth was too painful

and it was too unreal to ever describe to someone.

- Inside, it was a mess. - Keep going.

-Shut up. Please.

- Oh, I'm done. - Shut up.

-I'm done. Don't ever tell me to shut up.

-You know something?

I let you explain everything in as much detail.

-No, don't you tell me to shut up.

Oh, geez, oh, cow, George. Come on.

-I think this interview itself

is only further painting that picture

of what I've described about the issues within their marriage.

And you can just see.

You can just see that discord between the two of them.

It's so blatant.

-I didn't take $20 from your wallet.

I didn't take this. I didn't take that.

What about Casey going into Caylee's savings account

that I had started with her and taking money out?

-But, George, Casey learned by example.

And I... - Wow. You're... You're really...

-Okay, let's... Wait.

- Please, please. - No, but I'm telling you,

you lied to me for several years,

and that's where our daughter got it.

-Do not personally attack me on this.

This is not supposed to be about us.

-I understand that.

-It's not supposed to be that personal attack.

-She finally calls him out on it

and is finally acknowledging.

Yes, I learned from his example, completely.

I completely replicated my father's behavior

during those 31 days.

I watched him lie, manipulate, take money from people.

I did all of those things.

But for me, it wasn't to protect myself

because of what I had done.

It was to protect myself from the outside world

and that judgment of what had happened to me.

-So why did you take the money from Amy?

-It was a really shitty mistake.

I used and manipulated all of the people around me

in an attempt to appear normal,

which was extremely abnormal.

When the most normal thing would have been to say, "I need help."

But I didn't know how to say that.

-Casey Anthony says she was looking

for her missing daughter.

We don't know if that's true, but we do know this.

Casey got a tattoo.

-You covered up your tattoo.

-Bella vita... That was my "fuck you" to my family.

I spent my entire life protecting our perfect,

beautiful little family

and acting like I had this enviable life.

And in a lot of ways...

And, again, this is after going through therapy

and trying to explain why I got the tattoo in the first place,

especially during that time period...

Because that was a subconscious way for me to...

to speak out against all of it.

- Against what? - My family.

My...

flawed and fucked-up family

and my flawed and fucked-up life.

It was the antithesis of what my life really was.

The tattoo on the inside of my arm...

"I hear your voice and all the sounds of the world."

That also translates to "noise."

That just means I hear you in everything.

That is my Caylee tribute tattoo.

Everything about her was perfect.

These were my sonogram photos.

These were the two that I asked to have printed.

You can see the outline, perfect outline of her hand, her nose,

her eyes, her arms, the bones in her arm.

I was six and a half months pregnant almost

when they were able to do this.

-Did people know you were pregnant at that point?

-Um...

It was hard not to tell,

but some of the people closest to me were telling people

not only that I wasn't pregnant.

I was just sedentary, had a sedentary position.

That was what my nurse mother told people.

-Why?

-I don't know.

Maybe she was embarrassed that her daughter was pregnant.

Um... I don't know.

I was blatantly pregnant and still saying no

because that's what we had all agreed to.

Even my co-workers at the time.

And they're like, "Well, you're pregnant."

I'd kind of hesitate and go, "What?"

Of course I was pregnant.

But no lie was out of bounds. No lie was off-limits.

-How did you get pregnant with Caylee?

-I was raped at 18.

-Could your dad have been the father?

-No, my father is not the father of my child.

Neither is my brother.

-When I was 18, I was at a house party,

had a couple beers,

completely lost my memory because I was drugged.

I woke up with my top on,

my jeans on the floor with my underwear,

and my bra still inside of my shirt,

but up over my breasts.

And I was lethargic.

I was extremely disoriented.

And I could feel like I had had forcible sex.

I was scared,

confused,

full of questions.

Why it happened, how it happened.

Did I consent? Not consent?

-Did you report it to the police?

- No. - Why not?

-I wasn't sure anyone would believe me.

Because, again, I know what happens to girls

when they go to a party.

They have a couple drinks.

All the guy needs to say is,

"Yeah, of course, she wanted to do it.

She wanted to be a part of it. She was asking for it."

First person that I would have told would have been my mom,

and would she have believed me?

Would she have blamed me?

-How soon after the rape do you realize you're pregnant?

-Almost immediately.

Six weeks.

When I decided to tell my parents that I was pregnant,

I told them that Jesse Grund was the father.

I met and started dating Jesse Grund

just before I found out I was pregnant.

-Did you think Jesse could be the dad?

-Yes, there was a possibility,

at least still in my head, at the time.

As my pregnancy progressed

and we realized how far along I actually was,

came to realize that that wasn't the case.

But I made a very selfish decision

to not tell Jesse.

I let Jesse believe the entirety of my pregnancy

that he was the father.

I should have told him what happened, but I didn't.

At that point, I hadn't told anyone that I was raped.

He got a paternity test.

And even after that, I never told Jesse

how I got pregnant in the first place.

I lied and said that it was this old friend from way back when.

-Caylee's never had a father.

He was a friend of Casey's that lives out of state.

By the time Caylee was born,

he had already started another family,

and he passed away earlier in the year.

-I lied to everyone.

That's what I'm saying, it's so fucked up.

It's just years of feeling like

I needed to live a certain life or show people

I lived a certain life because I didn't want people to pity me.

And I didn't want my kid growing up

thinking she was this product of something so bad

and that I didn't want her.

I don't know how long I can do this.

I remember these pictures like they were yesterday.

And it's part of the reason why it's so hard to look back.

I've missed this.

I miss her every second of every day.

This is why I can't sit down and look at these anymore.

It's not because I don't want to.

It's just it hurts.

Just physically fucking hurts.

She's still everything to me and always will be everything.

This is all I have left.

This.

This is all I have left of her.

No parent's supposed to survive their kid.

This is all I have left.

Oh, God, just...

It just fucking hurts.

I don't think I can say that enough.

It just hurts.

I lied, but no one asked why.

No one cared why I lied.

-When Casey was out of jail

from the first time of her being arrested...

It was before they charged her with Caylee's murder...

I went over there and I stayed the night.

You know, I-I asked some questions like,

"Where's Caylee?" You know, "Where... Like what...

Like, what's going on? Why didn't you tell anybody?"

"Oh, I'm just doing what they told me to do.

Just saying what they tell me to say."

Right.

She did say that, "They are telling me.

I'm doing what they tell me to do."

I don't know who "they" is, though.

-I'm thoroughly embarrassed

by everything that happened, not only on that day,

but so many of the days that followed

and the days that led up to all of this.

It's awful, but...

I wasn't the same person sitting here

almost 14 years ago that I am now.

I have a voice now.

I'm not afraid to speak up against my abuser now.

-Why were you lying to the cops?

-I was doing what I was told.

It's really that simple. I was doing what I was told.

- By? - My father.

-With regret, I'm here to inform you that the skeletal remains

found on December 11th

are those of the missing toddler, Caylee Anthony.

-It appeared that a person from the Anthony home

taped her face up with duct tape,

stuffed her in a trash bag, dumped her in the woods.

-There was no question in their minds

about whether or not I did anything to my daughter.

-Everything was against her. The world was against her.

-You say that you think she's a psychopath.

- Absolutely. - I said to Casey,

"We have to really be able to tell your story."

-I did believe that Casey was sexually abused,

which is what the other psychologists heard.

It was like I was brainwashed.

So I know you want to ask me about the last day she was here,

the last day that I saw her, the day she disappeared.

I know that's what it's all leading up to.

Why didn't I make a phone call? Why didn't I call 911?

Why lie?