Original subtitles

Hold it, boys, hold it!

Before we get out, let's remember the agreement.

Attendant: Set your brakes, turn your lights off,

and take your keys with you, if you wish.

Now, one hour.

It is now eleven P.M.

One hour, then we all leave quietly,

no matter how much money you've won,

or how many girls you've met.

I repeat for the record, one hour.

Has there ever been such a college boy before?

So anxious to get back to his studies,

that the thought of winning $10,000 at a crap table

merely disgusts him.

Could be that girl, too.

- Roy: Who's that? - That heavenly girl.

- Hey. - What does he care about girls

when he can shack up with his law books?

One hour.

Not what you'd call an interesting conversationalist, is he?

Your old daddy flew one of those in the war, son.

And was that how you were killed in action, sir?

Yes, indeed.

I don't want to bother you, boys, but it is now 11:03.

Yeah, man, let's go where the money is.

Yeah, man.

Is this the place where the people live who want to give us all this money?

This must be the place.

This is my infallible roulette system.

Now, he has a system!

Well, if you've got a system,

you might as well get it out of your system.

That's what I always say.

And you know he always does say that!

Sir, I wonder if you'd arrange to have a brink's armoured car

at the side door in about an hour?

I expect to be making a gold shipment about then.

We're his male nurses.

Croupier: You got seven, now 37.

Madam, would you give up this sinful life of gambling

if the right man came along?

I might, yes.

Excuse me.

How's the play?

I put it down, they pick it up.

Maybe you ain't puttin' it down in the right place.

That could explain it.

Aren't you playing?

Well, I'd like to, but I just get a nosebleed every time

I see that happenin' to my money.

Does it bother you when it's my money that's going?

No, not as long as you assure me you got plenty more.

You mind my standing here?

I haven't called for a guard, have I?

Why, they just get in the way.

Jackpofl

r152, the giant jackpot, $50, bonus, r152.

Good luck to you, sir.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

You must lead a clean life.

Yeah, and up until now it's been driving me crazy.

21 red.

I know this system is infallible

because I worked it out myself.

Do you suppose I could be reading it wrong?

Oh, boy!

Now I can buy that atom-powered steam shovel I've always wanted.

With that?

And of course it was completely ridiculous.

I didn't know she was a countess.

So it was right after that, my poor old grey-haired mother said to me,

she said, "brick, son,

"I just know you're gonna be terribly attractive to women.

"And I do so hope you're not gonna be a beast about it."

Tell me, have you been a beast about it?

Well, certainly.

What did my poor old grey-haired mother know about fun?

It is now11:19.

Thank you, thank you.

I don't like to wear a watch.

I hired him to follow me around and tell me what time it is.

Croupier: 25, red.

Well, this is it!

Didn't you explain to him that your system was infallible?

I knew there was someone I forgot to tell.

Well, I gotta cash a cheque.

You know, only someone whose father owned an oil company

could afford that system.

You've always hated me just because my family has money, haven't you?

No, I have a lot better reasons than that.

Whew!

It is now11:21.

The old lamplighter.

Do you see that?

What, that mirror?

You know what that's for?

Yeah, so tall texans can see to comb their hair.

They're observation posts.

Guards sit up there, and keep an eye on things.

Pardon me.

I'm writing a new telephone book, and I'd like to include

- your name and number. - Eight, six and out.

Whew!

I don't know if he told you,

but he's only thirteen years old.

Be gone, son.

I am the oldest thirteen you'll ever run into.

They're cute.

Will you pardon me, please?

Excuse me.

I'll need one of those when my system starts working.

By then, you'll be too old to push it.

Can you handle that for me?

Don't make me have to shoot.

How would you like this, sir? Any particular denomination?

Robber: Any denomination'll do.

Cashier number three.

Guy in a grey suit and grey hat.

Two guys backin' him up.

The gun's in the magazine he's holding.

- Just hand us that magazine. - What magazine?

- What's going on here? - Yeah, what's going on?

Take it easy and no-one'll get hurt.

Hand me that cheque, please.

"$5,000, or I'll blow your head off."

Okay, friend, let's not disturb the customers.

Al: Hey, wait a minute.

- Who's in charge here? - Who's asking?

I'm asking. What are you arresting them for?

- These characters have flipped, ai. - He's behind in his quota for the night.

Cop: Shut up, both of you.

I asked you why you were arresting them.

- Who are you? - A friend of theirs.

We're on our way back to midwestern university from summerjobs.

We stopped in here to have a drink and a few laughs.

Well?

Tell him the truth!

Now there's a real Democratic guy. Hates everybody!

Look, I told you we were students!

- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I'm not kiddin'.

We don't have anything to do with him.

All right, show him your last year's students' cards.

I never saw 'em before.

Sorry, boys, one of those things.

What happened in there?

The man tried a real crazy stunt.

Roy: Attempted robbery, he means.

Who'd be crazy enough to try and Rob Harold's place?

Roy: Are you kiddin'?

'Cause that's where the money is.

10,000 people a day gamble in there.

Every now and then, some wise Joe figures a smart angle.

It'd be easier to knock off fort Knox.

There's no way it could be done!

Well, gentlemen.

Al: Dad, you missed out on all the fun.

I did not.

I would like to make one of my deathless remarks now.

There may be some things better than sex,

some worse, but there's nothing quite like it.

That was kind of a deathless remark at that.

It is now ten minutes to twelve, or don't you care anymore?

Well, let's hop in the old car, drive back to the old college,

dig into those old studies, and start taking out

those old, old, old college gals again! Ha ha!

You with me?

Yeah, but I wish everybody didn't know it.

J“ kindly pass the butter, Mabel

j“ you will find it over there

j“ in the corner of each Patty

j“ you will find a dark brown hair

j“ bum-barumba, boom-boom j“

that's a song?

Sure, it's an excerpt from Beethoven's 12th.

Beethoven must have written that one underwater with broken pencils.

Broken fingers. Where are we, anyway?

Now he wants to know where he is! Kansas some place.

300 miles to go.

- What are you ioafin' for? - 85 miles an hour is loafing?

Anything going 85 miles an hour is a guided missile.

Are you still worryin' about getting back to Kay?

- Now what has she got? - I'll tell you what she's got...

Hold it, don't tell him, don't tell him.

- Why? - I don't want him to know.

- Oh, yeah. - Hey, about that cop in Reno

saying you couldn't Rob harolds club.

- What did he mean, "it couldn't be done"? - Oh, beats me.

Anything can be done.

Of course it could be done.

J“ kindly pass the butter, Mabel

j“ you will find it over there

j“ in the corner of each Patty

j“ you will find a dark brown hair j“

aaah!

Good old Lincoln hall!

- Be safe. - Hi, ai.

Roy: Hats off, freshman.

What's your name, boy?

Um... it's spieglebauer, sir.

- Francis spieglebauer. - I see.

Well, son, men have overcome greater handicaps than that.

But I have loose teeth, you see.

I think I'll just call you speegie, okay?

- Yes, sir. - Good lad!

Now hear this, speegie. Every year we choose a freshman

to help us with a few chores we have to have done.

Since the work sort of piled up last year,

they all thought we'd get two freshmen this year, but, er...

You look like you could do the work of two men!

Hat on, speegie.

Now, first, in there is some of our luggage.

Suitcases, heavy articles. In there is where we live.

Your job is to transport one inside the other. Understand?

- Are you sure I have to do this? - Yes, I'm sure.

- Are you sure? - Oh, I'm sure.

Well, what I mean is,

in the booklet that the university sent me,

they said they didn't haze freshmen here anymore.

That's right, speegie.

You see, the fellows who wrote the booklet

don't haze freshmen here anymore.

-See?

- Carry on, speegie. - The keys, speegie.

To work, speegie.

Whew!

It's wonderful to hear your voice again, Kay.

No, I mean it.

Don't you think he'd be embarrassed to talk like that in front of us?

- Just wait a minute. - No, I'm not embarrassed.

But if a couple of characters I know don't stop listening in,

I may be crowded into a little violence.

Ruffian!

Hmm? Yeah, the katzenjammer kids, honey.

Oh, they're fine, fine.

A little more mentally retarded, perhaps, but fine.

Yeah.

Surprise?

Well, that makes me nervous.

Yeah, I wanted everything just exactly the way it was when I left.

Come on, tell me about it.

Look at him!

See how happy he is?

Why, just a few short hours ago,

he didn't know a soul in this college

and now, he has friends!

Oh, I'm telling you, it makes a man appreciate

the American educational system.

Speegie, you see what a deep thinker he is?

You should feel privileged to know a man who thinks that deeply.

Yes, sir.

Can I ask a question?

Why not?

Why not spoil him just a little? Go ahead.

Well, the guys in the next room

said that al and brick were in Korea together.

Ronnie: So?

Well, they said that brick saved al's life.

Roy: So?

They said that brick got a medal and a bad head wound doing it.

Well, so nothing.

That's what the guys in the next room said.

- Don't pay any attention to them. - They're drunk most of the time.

Were you two guys in Korea?

What's that?

I said, were you two in Korea?

Are you questioning our patriotism?

Why, no, I...

I suppose you think we wouldn't have been there

if it hadn't been for our liver conditions.

Roy: I suppose you think it's fun to have a liver condition

and never get to go to any wars with the rest of the guys?

- Why, I didn't mean anything, I... - Well, you just better take it easy,

and watch who you call yellow from now on.

- Whom. - Yeah, whom.

- I didn't call whom yellow, I... - Get on with your work, speegie.

- Yes, sir. - Yeah.

Whew!

How's Kay?

She got a surprise for me.

Maybe she's turned into a boy.

That girl?

Wants me to meet her at the campus club tonight.

- Wonder what that could mean? - Any number of things.

None of them too good from your standpoint.

What are you talkin' about?

Now I'm supposed to know what I'm talking about!

Oh, it'd ruin all your charm.

- Mm-hmm. - Eh.

Speegie, don't just stand there. Move, boy, move!

J“ I don't stay home anymore

j“ if there's somewhere to go

j“ I just go along

j“ for the ride

j“ they call me

j“ the life of the party

j“ they don't know that I'm cryin'

j“ inside

j“ if there's a dance or a show

j“ you'll find me around

j“ always iaughin' it up

j“ with the crowd

j“ they call me

j“ the life of the party

j“ but my poor heart is cryin'

j“ out loud

j“ I'm makin' new trends, and seein' new people

j“ doin' the town until three

j“ it's all I can do

j“ not to think about you

j“ though I know you're not thinkin'

j'ofme

j“ so I'll dance every night

j“ and I'll play every game

j“ I'm the last one to say

j“ my goodbye

j“ it's then that the life

j“ of the party

j“ goes home all alone

j'tocryj'

I don't get it. How'd this happen?

When we left, she was working in a department store.

This must be the surprise.

Roy: Hi, Kay.

Welcome home, boys.

Hello, Kay.

I, er... think you gentlemen made a mistake.

Your table's over there.

- He's ashamed of us. - Wishes we were dead.

That's right.

I'll be back in a minute.

I want to get out of this singing dress.

And you know, she's right.

That dress actually does sing.

Why don't you... You guys go ahead and order?

I want to talk to Kay privately.

What's with you? You on a diet or somethin'?

Diet?

That's at least 2,500 calories he's following.

Hey, when did all this happen?

About two weeks ago.

It began as a joke.

Not that it hasn't gone right on being that.

A bunch of us came in one night,

and someone dared me to get up and sing.

So, you know me.

I don't know whether I know you or not.

The girl I knew couldn't sing a note.

Nothing's changed.

It's just that the management thinks I can,

and they're willing to pay for their opinions.

Now, you tell me, how was the summer?

I wrote you.

There has never been such a long, long summer.

Well, I'm glad to see that all the time

you were wasting away for me,

you weren't forgetting to eat some of those cows you were punching.

Same old story, huh?

You just won't believe anything I tell you about how I feel.

Don't you want me to feel the way I do?

I'd tell you if I didn't.

I know that, so what is it?

Ai, I grew up in this town.

I've been dating college boys

since I was old enough to be noticed by them.

Well, that, I agree, must have been horrible.

It's no trick for a girl to be busy in a college town.

And these weren't cheap little liars, ai.

They meant it, I guess.

But there's something about being away to college

makes for deep and lasting love affairs,

which are forgotten the minute graduation's over.

Hmm, yeah.

You know, er...

You've had a real rough life,

and I wish there was some way I could make it up to you.

Okay, but you asked me for the reason

I couldn't take you too seriously.

And you haven't answered me.

Look, this isn't my first trip away from home,

and it's only technical that,

I'm one of the boola-boola boys at all.

You're not all that old.

No, but I'm all that experienced that I know the difference

between a few early fumblings with a girl,

and something that's nice, and lasting,

that's happened to me.

It's time you begin realising that I know the difference.

This summer, if anything, has...

Only made you more lovable,

and willing to admit it.

Would you care to dance?

No, but it's part of my duties here.

Whatever will the other b-girls think!

That you've finally gotten a live one.

Brick: Want a light?

Okay.

I'm a stranger in town. Can you direct me to your house?

Did you lose the address?

Why, I was wrestling cows all summer,

and my writing hand got all cramped up...

Oh, I see. How are the cows out west?

Oh, they're... Oh, you mean the cows?

Well...

Look, I guess I must have been all crossed up last spring.

I thought you and I were a big, hot, breathless item,

then not even a card this summer.

Well, Jean, I meant to call you, I really did...

Oh, fine. Now I feel much better.

How could you possibly feel any better, hmm?

Real cosy!

Look, buddy, why don't you go back to your table

before somebody eats up your minimum, hmm?

She happen to belong with me, pal.

Only in spirit, son.

You get back inside.

I know all about you, pal.

A real war hero.

One of the fruit salad boys.

Well, how do you like your beatings, huh?

Standing up, or on the ground?

Don't crowd me, Mac.

Better leave it lay, junior.

Al: Brick, brick!

Get him out of here, fast!

Brick: I'll kill that...

Brick! Brick!

It's me, ai. Ai!

Come on, brick. I'll take you home.

Come on.

Here, brick.

Listen to me, brick.

You know, it might not be a bad idea

- going back to the vets' hospital... - I'm not going back there, ai.

- Just to check... - I'm not going back!

I don't want any part of that cage.

They were only trying to help you.

Treat you like an animal. Like somethin' under a rock.

All the time tellin' you you're psycho.

A lot of guys went through shock like you did.

Look, ai, I'm okay, I'm okay!

Sure, sure, you're okay. You're in great shape.

But it still wouldn't hurt to have a check-up.

Look, lay off of me, will you?

You want to get rid of me?

What's the matter? You tired of having me hanging on your back?

Okay, I'll get out of here. I'll get out now!

You're not going anywhere.

They told you to call, didn't they, huh?

"Give us a call, captain, in case 3742 starts goin' off his rocker again."

I'm not making any calls.

That for sure?

Sure.

You know, you...

Really coulda hurt that kid at the club.

Brick: I know!

What do you think's gonna happen to you if you...

Be sensible, brick.

Go over and have a talk with the doc.

Look, ai, I'm... I'm a lot better now.

This isn't gonna happen again.

I just had a couple of drinks too many, that's all.

Al: Sure, that's what you said up in San Francisco last year

with that cab driver.

Yeah, but, ai, these things take time. That's all I need. Just a little time.

Al: Sure.

If those doctors hear about tonight,

it's gonna sound a lot worse than it was.

- They won't hear about it. - You won't say anything, ai?

I won't say anything, I promise.

Brick, you're gonna...

You're gonna have to watch yourself.

I know.

It'll work out.

It'll work out.

Yeah.

Roy: Well, this is the last time I'm gonna double date with you.

You know she danced like seven miles of unpaved road?

Speegie's got better taste than you have.

Ronnie: Oh, stop.

Roy: Oh boy, what's happenin' to me?

How could you trap me like this?

What's the matter with brick?

Nothing a good night's sleep won't cure.

Well, that's the trouble with liquor.

You take one drink, and it makes a new man out of you.

Then, the new man has to have a drink, too.

Quote and unquote.

You can tell me your troubles.

- How's brick? - Brick?

Oh, he's fine, fine.

Why?

One of the men at the club said he oughta be put away.

The guy that said that ought to be put away. Brick's okay.

Like last night?

Well, he had one too many.

Then how come you're so... So quiet today?

Well, since you brought it up, I'll tell you.

It all started about the time I met you.

Others have complained about that before.

What are the symptoms?

Well, studying that used to take me one hour,

now takes me half the night.

In the middle of a law lecture,

I suddenly find I'm repeating the marriage ceremony to myself.

Now, would you say this is significant?

No. "Frightening" is the word I'd use.

You know, I've been places where, if you...

Didn't make up your mind in a hurry,

you never got a second chance.

Honey, you're not in Korea anymore.

Nobody's gonna drop a bomb on you now.

I'd better do something.

What do you wanna do, ai?

Get married.

Now?

Yesterday would have been better.

What's the big rush?

What's the matter with being sure of ourselves?

I'm so sure of myself now, I'm nearly dead from it.

Guess that's the roadblock. You're not, huh?

I may look like the blonde bombshell

who's been every place, and done everything, but I'm not.

And all these big emotions are... Are wonderful,

- but they just kinda scare me, too. - Well, look...

Why don't you just relax, huh?

No, I'm like you. I can't.

I wanna get married today just as much as you do.

But then, when I stop to think about it, I...

I get so scared, I... I just wanna run.

Ronnie: What's the good word?

There aren't any good words.

They don't make good words the way they used to.

Don't just stand there, speegie. Run around, do something!

I don't want your muscles to stiffen up.

Yes, sir!

Tear on over and get cokes for everybody, speegie.

I tell you, that boy's getting lazy.

Why, he had the audacity to ask me

to brush my own teeth this morning.

They don't make freshmen the way they used to.

No, they've even quit trying.

Brunette: Hi, brick!

Brick: Hi, hi, hi.

Are you coming to our Halloween dance tonight, brick?

Probably not.

Brunette: It's gonna be one of the best dances of the year.

Sweetheart...

Let me tell you something.

I wonder if now is the time when any of us should be dancing,

when we don't know if little orphan Annie's

ever gonna find daddy warbucks.

She's just got to.

I know, I know.

Maybe one of your own would taste better.

No, it's not that. I'm suffering from something.

I think it's the "edges-off-of-everything" blues.

Maybe you should organise a panty raid.

No, no, it goes deeper than that.

I don't wanna get drunk. I'm sick of being sober.

I've seen both movies in town.

It's the mid-semester whim-whams.

What you need's a nice girl.

Child...

What I need's got nothin' to do with nice girls.

I know what brick means. I've got it myself.

Bored with classes that have just begun,

and notes I haven't taken yet.

Bored with being in a place

that's run by thinkers and not doers.

I come from a family that does things.

Well, they can afford to.

A family that does things first.

That's what I need in my life. A big first.

You guys ever hear of a man named schliemann?

Sure, played first base for the giants,

and later invented a plastic breakfast food.

He dug up the ancient city of Troy in Greece.

Hey, what a cat, to dig Troy!

It was a first. Get my point?

Roy: Well, I couldn't hope to do that.

That's what we've got to think of, to pull ourselves out of the swamp.

To be first at something.

Like the guy who flew under the London bridge.

Characters who stole the stone of scone in england.

Just like plinehouser.

Who was plinehouser?

Oh, just the first guy to be called plinehouser, that's all.

He's right, though. This boy's got a point.

Everybody's got a headache today. We've living in the aspirin age.

Speegie: It's really very simple, mr cruikshank.

- Now, wait a minute... - Mind if I file these?

Help yourself.

You bet me five dollars I can't do what?

It's a very simple bet.

Now you're sitting right here where I'm sitting.

- Follow me? - Yeah.

I pour a glass of water on the floor, right here.

Yeah.

- You've got a knife in your hands. - A knife?

Now, I'll bet you five bucks

that I can dry up the water

before you stab me on the hands with the knife.

All right. Who's got a knife?

Roy: Are these regular issue for law students?

I've been getting into a lot of strange closets lately.

Dangerous moths.

Now, you sit right where I was sitting.

Now, remember, five bucks if I dry up the water

before you stab my hands.

Speegie, are you sure?

I mean, the blood.

I'm sure. Now, you ready?

Okay.

One...

Two...

Three!

They grow up fast these days.

Speegie: Pay me.

I'll bet you five dollars that you never get the five dollars I owe you.

And, having won that bet, we're even.

So quit worryin' about money, and get to work.

Yes, sir.

Something you invented?

Recorded male voice: Glad to meet ya, mister.

Hope I don't have to kill ya.

Special research.

What for? What's my crime?

Remember what that cop said in harolds club

when we got involved in that hold-up?

Hesam, "there's no way it could be done."

He should only know.

You mean you've been thinking about it all this time?

I've worked out a plan how to Rob harolds club

of a million dollars, maybe more.

Oh. How much time you figure on researching our penal system?

When I say a plan,

I mean one where you'd walk away free and clear.

You know what bitsy brain's doing now?

Last year he planned to drain foster's lake,

and collect all the pennies that had been thrown there

for the last 130 years.

He figured it would amount to over $70,000.

A man is never appreciated in his own century.

Yeah, well, maybe when you get out of prison in the next one,

you'll be with people that understand your language.

You really think you could knock off harolds club?

A joint that's open 24 hours a day,

seven days a week, 52 weeks out of the year,

with over 1,000 people in it every second?

I do.

The main cash vault is right in the middle

of the floor of the gambling room.

It looks like the rock of Gibraltar, and opens like the Panama canal.

It has two doors, both steel-barred,

and one doesn't open until the other's closed.

Oh, great, that's a cinch.

All you need's a hairpin and a toy hammer, huh?

Ronnie: Got that all worked out.

The only thing left I've got to figure

is how to leave Reno without a trace.

This boy's got a little Dillinger blood in him.

This boy has the spirit of adventure in his heart.

You really think you could do it?

Oh, I could do it all right.

The question is, would! Do it?

'Course, I wouldn't keep the money if I did.

Now he's a communist. He hates money.

He's a crazy, mixed-up rich kid.

And they're the worst kind, you know.

Yeah.

Okay, mr first, what's the gimmick?

I wouldn't mind bein' first with a million bucks myself.

Man on recording: You louse this deal, Jack,

I'll gut ya, and shoot my way outta here.

It's all done with psychology.

A simple and basic motivation.

Fear, gentlemen.

In this case, worth one million dollars.

Gee.

A million bucks.

Well, I wouldn't be afraid.

I'd be petrified.

This must be the place where they rehearsed tobacco road.

Now, why would he want a trailer?

Well, to transport his old money to the scrap heap, perhaps?

Or to take his old girlfriends in for a retread job, perhaps?

Ronnie: I bought both the car and the trailer,

and I did it without leaving a single trace.

- This is desirable? - I used a fictitious name,

and bought 'em across the state line from the smiling dutchman.

Who must be laughing out loud after this deal.

- You're sure you didn't steal it? - Does this look like I stole it?

How can I think when I'm blinded?

His folks must have clipped a coupon last night, or sold a state.

Well, it was just a small one.

Rhode Island, wasn't it, Ronnie?

Why, it's a perfect set-up.

One guy drives, the others hide inside, out of sight,

and no-one can trace it back.

According to the law I've studied,

it's a misdemeanour to ride in a trailer

when it is in motion.

You think a couple of misdemeanours is gonna bother Ronnie?

He's only interested in felonies.

Yeah, but you're still gonna have to stop

for gas, oil, and water.

Everything you need, you carry in the trailer.

Gasoline, drinking water, canned foods.

Dynamite for blasting out of jail.

Oh, and Thanksgiving's a perfect time for it.

It's jamboree week in Reno,

and everybody wears cowboy outfits and false beards.

It's like a western mardi gras.

You, er... you're talking like this could be done.

I mean, actually.

It can be done, brick, and I mean actually.

So what? None of us are gonna do it.

Why not? Call it a... A field experiment in psychology.

Roy: It's not what we call it that matters.

Ronnie: If we don't keep the money, we're not committing any actual crime.

Roy: Suppose they grab us before we get a chance to show 'em

we weren't going to keep the money?

Ronnie: They won't, I tell you.

I've got everything worked out, and it's foolproof.

We leave the trailer in Reno.

We board a train, and we're out of town

before anybody knows we've even been there.

Yeah...

What are you shutting up about?

It all takes place in seven minutes.

At the first stop, we get on the phone,

and let 'em know where the money is.

Well, you know me,

always the first one to tear down a goalpost,

or any other red-blooded college prank.

Please, don't talk about blood!

What else will you need?

A cart.

We'd have to build a cartjust like the one we saw at harolds club.

Yeah.

And we'd need another guy.

Why?

Well, the plan calls for four guys to make it work.

Do you think a! Would go for it?

Not if he knew what he was doin'.

Last couple of days, I promise you he hasn't.

Do you think it would work with al, if he didn't know

what was up till the last minute?

Mm-hmm.

You really need him?

It might be fun if we all did it together.

Clear out the attic, mother, I'm having in a few friends to hide.

It's easier than swallowing goldfish.

Well, who said I want to do that, either?

About ai.

Yeah?

I've gotta have four guys.

How about speegie?

You got ai.

Speegie, phew!

The ancient mariner.

Ah, very funny.

What are you doin' here, brick? I thought you were packin'.

How's Kay doin'?

Oh, fine, fine. Took three encores tonight.

And she'll be out of the shower in five minutes.

You're gettin' to be a regular night-club Johnny, aren't you?

Yeah, I like it.

Listen, the guys insist you come along.

Vacation starts tomorrow. We go to Reno a couple of days,

and then up to Ronnie's ranch.

Why drive all that distance?

Well, everybody gets their own private monogrammed Turkey.

Maybe we win a couple of dollars at roulette.

Hmm. I can have more fun right here.

You know, it might do you and Kay some good

not to see each other for a week or so.

You know, the old gag about absence makes the something.

Yeah, I know that old gag.

Brick, this year we're stuffing our Turkey

with dressing rooms, not dressing.

Kay: Who is it?

Why?

Kay: No reason, except I'm just out of the shower.

You know, I never told you,

but I used to have a job in a ladies' Turkish bath.

Hey, what about those Turkish women? Pretty cute?

Yeah, but they all had Turkish men.

Oh, you do get the bad breaks, don't you?

Mm-hmm. You know, a soap opera's a fast, funny musical compared to my life.

However, there are moments I wouldn't trade

for mountains of uranium.

You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us.

Al: Oh? You, too?

You told me the boys invited you to go along with them to Reno

over the Thanksgiving holidays.

Yeah, brick's outside now, trying to sign me on.

You know, why they should want me

with my sad face is more than I can figure.

You know, I was thinking...

That if you went along with them,

and we didn't see each other until after you got back...

I just thought that...

That it would give us a week to get away from each other,

and just kinda think things over.

Sure.

Don't get sore, ai.

- It's just that when we're together... - Look, Kay,

you don't have to explain anything to me.

You can see, or not see, anybody you want.

It's only a week, ai.

It's not the seven long miserable days, baby.

It's the fact that you still have to think up trick gimmicks

to find out whether you're in love with me.

It isn't that.

- I know I'm in love with you. - Do you? Well, then maybe,

when we're talkin' about love, we're talkin' about two different things.

Maybe we're not. In my book, it means consideration

for the feelings of the person you're supposed to be in love with.

Have you noticed my feelings lately? They're pretty well beat.

You feel real sorry for yourself, don't you?

No, I don't feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry for you.

You just can't make up your mind, can you?

- Ai... - W hat?

Let's forget what I said.

- Maybe it was a lousy idea at that. - No, maybe it's a good idea.

Anyway, let's give it a try.

It can't get any worse, as far as I'm concerned.

Look, we don't have to decide anything this minute.

- I'll give you a call later. - No, don't.

Maybe, er... maybe we can get together after Thanksgiving,

if we still want to, and you can make up your mind.

Ai, please.

Let's get outta here.

Sure.

- When are you leaving for Reno? - In the morning.

Okay, the sooner, the better.

- Larry: Hey, ai. - Yeah?

There's a cream cheese lookin' for you.

She's downstairs. Said it's urgent.

She wanted to come up, but I told her it was against the...

The house rules?

Thanks, Larry.

Would there be any room in there for my things?

I don't know. Depends on where you're goin'.

I hear they marry people in a hurry in Reno.

I have a friend who's going there.

If what you've been going through is anything like

what I've been going through,

then I'm marrying the toughest guy in the world.

You're absolutely sure now, huh?

I tell you, I've been boiled in oil,

and I know what I'm doing.

Well, I know I should get discreetly outta here,

but I'm gonna stay, and watch.

- We're getting married. - Mm-hmm.

Hey, I said we're getting married.

Yeah, I heard you.

I was just wondering if I should sing something appropriate.

- Easy, boy, easy. - There, that'll ruin you for all other men.

Well, I think you two are gonna like marriage.

I've heard it described as something like

tennis played with 40-millimetre cannons.

No, that's before you get married.

Oh, I see.

Say, I wonder if Ronnie'd mind giving us a lift as far as Reno?

We'll leave you fast enough after that.

Well...

Well, never mind. We'll catch a train.

Come on, I'll take you home.

- Hey, wait a minute. - What?

You're gonna need money like you never needed money before.

Like you never dreamed of.

And this child is not gonna travel alone with you

until you've done the right thing by her.

Old brick's gonna see that he doesn't get away from you

now that he's ruined you!

Thank you, old brick.

Hey, won't it be great on a honeymoon with just the five of us?

We'll see you, brick.

- Good night. - Brick: Good night.

J“ time and time I stroke those tresses

j“ in the years long since gone by

j“ now I find them everywhere

j“ in the butter and in the pie

j“ pickle-diddle-dido, dum-dum j“

Kay: Down with three!

Next time, gin, one.

Oh, think you're pretty smart, huh?

Haven't seen you look so sharp since Tokyo, buddy.

Look sharp, be sharp!

Hey, you warned Ronnie about the chance he's taking?

Chance? What chance?

Ronnie: You know they're gonna throw the book at you if you're caught.

What are you talkin' about?

About ridin' back here. It's against the law.

Oh, well, we just won't tell the cops what we're doin', that's all.

Okay by me. It's your funeral.

- Hey, you hungry? - Starved.

What do you say we stop in the next town, and get a bite to eat?

Oh, when we're so completely self-sufficient?

Everything we need is right here. Food, gas and oil, water, you name it.

Yeah, we figured on getting you two to Reno non-stop.

- Ronnie: Come on, brick, let's eat. - Right.

Complete down to the red, rough hands.

Where'd you get the cart, Ronnie?

I built it. Electric torch, book of instructions.

Torn swift and his radioactive uncle, you know.

I didn't know you could do anything like that, Ronnie.

Not a bad job, either.

Pretty nice along the seams.

Ai, here are your sandwiches.

It's something I designed for dad's ranch.

Al: I've seen a cart like that somewhere before.

I can't remember where.

I'll trade you.

Okay.

J“ hmm, hmm

j“ dada da dada dum

j“ dada dum

j“ I went out of my way

j“ to get in the way of love

j“ but I'm not sorry

j“ even a little bit

j“ 'cause I discovered

j“ the joy was worth the pain of it

j“ I went out of my mind

j“ when you stopped being kind and gentle

j“ and I laughed and I thought

j“ you're just being temperamental

j“ till it's ancient history to you

j“ I've kept a memory or two

j“ it's to go out of my way

j“ to be out of this world with you j“

now, is this what you've been yapping about for so long?

Just about.

You know, I must've been batty to be scared about us.

Well, you were young.

We'll change all that.

I was young, happy, successful at my work,

and now you're taking me out of all this.

Well, sometimes a little misery and poverty is character-building.

That's what I want to build first: Character.

Don't miss a one of them, Roy.

We can't leave a single print inside this trailer.

What happens if we do?

Then this rig can be traced back to us.

What happens if someone in harolds club starts shooting?

- You know, with guns? - I told you, no guns.

Yeah, but you didn't tell them.

This plan is absolutely foolproof.

He's a genius. If he says it is, it is.

You know, they charge double fares for bodies.

- What do you mean by that? - Just that.

A body has to have two tickets on a train or a plane.

There's a regulation about it somewhere.

That's an example of real positive thinking.

Listen, let's get serious a minute, Ronnie.

All of us, within the next 24 hours,

could be lying on a dirty floor surrounded by cigarette butts,

staring up at a ring of strange faces with bullet holes in our heads.

Just wipe the cards and relax.

I've just rubbed this queen of spades so hard I turned her into a Jack.

We'll pull off the road up ahead. It's good and dark outside.

Brick, you Bury all that stuff.

Break the glass jugs, and scatter the pieces.

When do these go on?

When we stop. I'll take care of that.

Roy, your job is to keep ai and Kay busy,

while we handle everything here.

Keep them busy?

I never saw two busier people in my whole life.

They haven't stopped once!

What are your folks going to say about this?

It's been the ambition of the whole family

to get somebody in good-looking enough to answer the door.

And what do the others do while I'm answering the door?

Oh, they peek out from behind the curtain, and...

Look at you.

Hey, you trying for some insurance money or somethin'?

I just lost all my shame for a minute.

Well, don't go lookin' for it.

You know, you're a nut, but I love you.

Harolds club!

Sure, that's what it looks like.

You're right.

It looks like a dead ringer, doesn't it?

Recording: Glad to meet ya, mister.

Hope I don't have to kill ya.

You louse this deal, Jack, I'll gut ya,

and shoot my way outta here.

- What's the pitch? - Brilliant, isn't it?

Now, watch.

Recording: Yeah, Jack, ya gettin' this?

Get goin'!

- What is it? - I don't know.

It's the greatest hoax of the century.

As nefarious as fu manchu, and as practical as a zipper.

It's a way to hold up harolds club in Reno,

and get away with it. A perfect crime.

Did you know about this, brick?

Yeah, sure, I knew about it.

Yeah, you set him up for it, huh?

No, it's his own idea, not mine.

Well, there's no harm done yet.

At least you haven't broken any laws, as far as I can see,

but you're trying hard for a cell block and your varsity number.

Ronnie, how could you dream up such a thing?

I don't know what everyone's getting so excited about.

I've just come up with the greatest idea since the bikini bathing suit,

and you treat me like a hardened criminal.

All right, let's pull this rig over to the side of the road.

Okay, ai.

All right, honey.

You stay here in the trailer with Ronnie there.

How could you let these kids fool around

with anything this stupid, brick?

Brick: Oh, you know how Roy is. He'll go along with anything for laughs.

But Ronnie's gone to a lot of trouble and expense.

He's worked out a plan. Great plan.

He really could Rob harolds club, you know?

Al: Yeah, I know. He could do anything.

- But how about you? - Me?

- Yeah, you. - I'm dead serious.

Come on, let's quit horsin' each other.

Don't talk down to me, ai.

I don't feel a fit comin' on or anything.

I'm as cool as a trench knife.

I'm not talkin' down to you. Just tell me about it.

All right, any guy who wants to lead himself

a quiet, peaceful, uneventful life picked the wrong time to get born.

Sure, sure, you had it tough. So did I.

But we made it back. That evens things up.

No, it doesn't.

I did a lot of brain-beating in that hospital.

I got it figured out. I figured it this way.

A guy's gotta have a little money to call his own.

Every time I thought I could make ends meet,

some joker came along and moved the ends out.

Well, no more. I'm gonna do anything to get what I want.

Keep talking, keep talking.

I'm not gonna graduate this year or any year!

- You know it, and I know it. - Sure, you'll graduate.

We'll help pull you through.

No, you guys had me hangin' around your neck long enough.

I wasn't cut out for law.

Well, you're not cut out for 50 years in prison, either.

Look, I already had my lost years.

You... you realise there are guys our age that are in practice already?

You're not thinkin' straight, brick.

You better get yourself back to that hospital fast.

How much money you got in your pocket, right now, huh?

How much you think you're gonna have a year after you get out of school?

Ten, twenty, fifty bucks? Ronnie's cooked up a sure thing.

- You're both wrong! - We can be in and out of that club

in six minutes tonight, ai, with a fortune.

Tonight, ai, tonight you can have 50,000 bucks, maybe.

You and Kay could live high on the hog on that.

Al: I hear words, and they don't make sense.

We're countin' on you.

Counting on me?

Sure, I figured it right down the line.

Just like old times, ai.

Look, brick, you saved my life once.

I'm grateful to you for that.

I'm gonna help you.

We're going over to that trailer, get that cart out,

and shove it over right down there.

Then we're going in to Reno, and forget we ever had this conversation.

- Ai? - Yeah?

You know, when you first decided to bring Kay along,

it kinda worried me.

Now I can see how it's gonna help.

You leave Kay out of this, brick.

Know why?

I got a part in the hold-up for her, too.

She's gonna drive the car.

Ooh.

Hey, only got one punch for me, old buddy?

Don't push me, brick.

You involve Kay in anything, I'm gonna kill ya.

Hey, that'd boost your legal career real good, wouldn't it?

Every law firm in the country'd want you for a junior partner.

Al: You're really sick.

Ronnie, go in that trailer, and bring that cart out here!

Kay: Ai!

No guns, brick! The deal was no guns!

Now, this is the way it works. You three stay inside the trailer.

Give me the trailer key, Ronnie.

Come on, toss it.

Okay, you'll stay in deep freeze till we get to Reno.

My old buddy here is gonna drive. He has to rehearse his part,

so he'll know what he's doin' when we get to harolds club.

Al: You won't get away with this, brick, gun or no gun.

Yes, I will.

You wanna know why?

'Cause your only chance of getting out of this thing alive

is to pull it off, and get away clean.

You're worse off than I thought.

You ought to be back in that psycho ward.

Psycho ward?

Yeah, that's right. I should've told you guys before.

- Shut up! - That's where he w...

Look at the evidence, counsellor.

Who bought the trailer and the car you're riding in?

Ronnie.

Used a phoney name and address.

And the licence plates don't go with this rig, either.

Roy bought the groceries,

and he helped Ronnie to build the cart, too.

And that's Ronnie's voice you heard on the tape recorder.

Is that right?

You and kayjust came along for the ride,

but who's gonna believe it was just to get married?

You're part of a gang, ai.

But he hasn't done anything.

The police aren't gonna believe that.

I'll take my chances.

Maybe you don't read me.

If you guys don't back me up,

I'm gonna Rob harolds club all by myself.

You couldn't, brick, not by yourself.

Well, then I'll say it again slowly, so you'll understand.

I'm going to Rob harolds club, with or without you guys.

And I'm gonna use the gimmick that you figured, Ronnie.

They'll follow you around like lady godiva.

Well, you'd better pray I make it.

'Cause if I get caught, I'm gonna drag you all in with me.

Al: Go on, get in the back like he says.

Now you're thinkin' straight, ai!

Oh, I want that cart moved up in the back seat of the car

where I can watch it.

Cover it up with a blanket.

Come on, move!

And then you walk up to the guy with the cart, see?

And you say, er... "I guess you don't remember me.

"Mr gunderson introduced us, but that was a long time ago."

Oh, look, ai.

You... you play this through with me, you're not gonna get in any trouble.

You... You were forced into a crime.

Now, even I can defend you on that.

I should've sent you back to that hospital

the night you clobbered that kid at the club.

I'm not goin' back there, ai.

I wouldn't have gone back there then. I'm not goin' back now, either.

I'll do anything to keep from goin' back there, ai.

Anything, you get that?

This is the best way I know to get there.

After I get that money,

I'm gonna put a million miles between me and the doctors.

I can't live with that place hangin' over my head, ai.

You think I like holdin' a gun on you, huh?

You think I like that?

You're the only guy ever meant anything to me.

But I'll cut you down, ai.

Even you, I'll cut you down if you try to stop me, see?

You've made that point enough.

You think I'm crummy, don't you?

No, I don't think you're crummy. I know you're sick.

Not sick enough to let you stop me.

I'm not gonna stop you, brick.

I'm gonna help you, because I don't want a lot of innocent people to get messed up.

You kill anyone, I'd feel responsible.

- Ai, ai, I... - Shut up, shut up!

I'm liable to get sick myself.

Kay, take this.

Why?

In 65 seconds, brick will stop.

He'll unhitch the trailer, and abandon it.

Thirty seconds later, we'll walk into harolds club.

Exactly six minutes later, we'll come out.

An eastbound train leaves one minute later.

Ronnie figures we can walk from the club to the station in 15 seconds.

Ronnie: We'll board her just as she rolls out.

Why are you telling me this?

I know how brick thinks.

My job is to drop the cart at the alley entrance

three minutes and fifteen seconds

after ai, brick, and Roy enter the club.

Then I park the car in Harold's garage.

No-one will notice it there for a day or two.

You don't think brick's gonna let you out of his sight now, do you?

No, but he will trust Kay.

The minute he turns his head,

I'm gonna yell for the first policeman I see.

Not if you want ai alive.

Brick'd kill him, for sure.

Take this.

You have six minutes to deliver the cart, park the car,

and buy three tickets at the depot.

Three tickets?

Brick and I won't be going back.

Now, don't talk like that, Ronnie.

Listen, maybe Kay is right, maybe she could get the cops,

and they could surround the place?

No, it's too late, Roy.

And they couldn't get a! Clear of brick.

Cross brick now, and he'd turn into a shooting maniac.

He'd mow us down, and that's not all.

He'd kill a lot of innocent people before they stopped him.

No, we've gotta wait

and let the professionals catch him, after the hold-up.

It'll all be over in seven minutes.

It wasn't just a stunt, Roy.

I wanted to see it work.

And I wanna see it work right now.

I don't mean for the money or anything,

but just to know I was able to do it.

All right.

Bring out the cowboy outfits.

Unhitch it.

Come on, start puttin' that stuff on.

All right, 25 seconds.

I'm gonna say this once, Kay.

Ronnie's supposed to deliver the cart to the back entrance of harolds club

three minutes and fifteen seconds after we enter.

Then he's supposed to park the car in Harold's garage.

Now, this is a change of plans.

Ronnie's gonna stay with me, and you do his job.

Drive the car, follow us.

I'll point out the spot for you to leave the cart.

The garage is across the tracks from the club.

And if the cart isn't there three minutes and fifteen seconds

after we enter, on the button,

I'm gonna kill ai.

I thought I told you to leave her out of this.

You put your beards on.

Okay, time.

Make up your mind, Kay. We're rolling.

Six minutes after we get into harolds club, we'll be out.

You'll see a train, get on it.

We'll enter different cars and meet you later.

Ronnie's gonna buy the tickets on the train.

All right, ai, you decide.

Ai, he's insane.

Do what he says.

Brick: Let's move.

Hi!-

oh, hi!

Al: I guess you don't remember me.

Mr gunderson introduced us.

- Well, you meet an awful lot of people. - Sure, sure, I know,

but I wanted to talk to you. It's important.

- If you could spare a second. - Oh?

Don't turn your head too quickly, but...

But if you look over your right shoulder, you'll see a man.

What about him?

Well, that man's my partner.

He's got a gun pointed at your back.

You make the wrong move in the next second, he'll kill you.

You gettin' it?

Yeah, I hear you.

No, don't look up there. Look at me.

I know they're watching us up there.

Right about now, you'd better start smiling.

Look at me and smile.

This is a friendly conversation, in case anybody's watching.

Smile.

You can do better than that.

All right.

What are we gonna do now?

Well, you're gonna push your cart

down to the Blackjack table at the head of the stairs

right next to the dealer,

and ask her to keep an eye on it for you.

But she'll think that's funny if I do that.

Oh, she'll think it's funny, but she'll do it anyway,

because you asked her to.

And, while we're walking down there,

you keep looking at us, and smiling.

Get goin'.

Keep an eye on this for me.

Okay.

Don't look at the ceiling. Just go out there to the alley.

Smile.

Keep smiling.

- Er... sorry, we're working in here. - But we...

You'll have to use the Virginia street entrance.

That's the only entrance that's open.

Al: Give him that cigarette.

You yell for help, and we'll run.

You'll save your boss a little money, but...

Just before we run, I'm gonna kill you.

That's right, that's a duplicate.

You're gonna push that into the money room,

just like it's your regular cart.

Stuff the bills in there.

No silver, just bills.

All you say is the boss wanted the money.

He sent you to get it, and he wants it quick.

Anybody wants to know why,

you don't know, and you don't care.

Then you tie the sack up, put it on top of the cart

and push it right back here.

You got that?

Sure.

I guess you're wonderin' why you oughta do this,

once you're inside, huh?

Well, it had crossed my mind.

Meet the other member of our group.

Recording: Glad to meet ya, mister.

Hope I don't have to kill ya.

See, you're gonna have company in the cash room.

Our little friend in the cart.

You're gonna wheel him in there with you, and then out again.

Wanna know why?

Tell him why, Charlie.

Guy in there's five feet tall, no bigger than most jockeys.

He's served time. I won't say where.

He's out, because he escaped.

He says he'll never serve time again.

Recording: You louse this deal, Jack,

I'll gut ya, and shoot my way outta here.

See, he's gonna watch you all the time through these iouvres.

The top isn't fastened down.

All he has to do is stand up, and he's shootin'.

At you.

Got that?

Recording: Yeah, Jack, ya gettin' this?

Yeah.

Recording: Get goin'.

You're due back in the vault now.

Don't stall on the way and set off the alarm,

or our friend in here is gonna have to dust you.

Woman: Jackpot, I did it!

I hit a jackpot, I did it, I did it!

Casino worker: Another giant $ 1, 000 jackpot!

Machine c408.

A $1,000 jackpot!

Having any luck?

Al: No, no, I won one last time I was here.

That's a ten cent machine.

Al: Yeah.

Where's the quarter machine?

Al: They're down that way.

Okay, good luck.

Now, look, Eric.

We're gonna pick up a bag now and go outside the door.

We're going to a car we got waiting out in the alley.

We're going to blow the horn twice.

Now, the minute he hears it in there,

he's gonna push out the sides

and go out the door, too.

Now, you wait right here till you hear the horn honk twice.

You getting this?

Yeah, I'm gettin' it.

Look, I've done everything you've asked me to do.

I don't want him getting wild at the last minute.

Just follow instructions and nobody's gonna get hurt.

He's not gonna shoot anybody he doesn't have to.

Look out! There's a man with a gun in there!

Brick, this has gone far enough.

I'm okay.

Ai, I've gone to the police, I've told them!

- Tell them to stay back. - Darling, please...

Darling, please, it's too late.

- It's in their hands now. - Look, brick is a real sick guy,

but he's not gonna hurt anybody unless he's crowded.

Now, tell 'em to stay back and give me a chance with him.

Tell 'em!

Hey, mister, did you see a big fellow come by here carrying a bag?

Nope.

Er... sorry, sir. No people, just cars.

Look, I gotta find this guy!

Look, buster, sorry. No people, just cars.

Brick!

Brick, where are you?

Brick!

Brick!

Kay: Please, you've got to believe me.

Look, if you'll just let him alone,

then he might be able to get him down without anyone being hurt.

Look, lady, you never know about a psycho,

- especially if he's got a gun. - No, no, please.

Al: Stay back!

Stop!

Hold it, Matt.

Brick!

It's me.

I'm not crowdin' you.

I wouldn't crowd you, brick.

I'm gonna kill ya.

I'm goin' away.

I thought maybe you'd like to come with me.

I'm gonna kill ya.

Do you remember the time you brought me in?

I had a hole in my side.

The commies were shooting at you then.

You remember the tracer bullets?

How they lit up the snow, and made it look all red?

Remember?

Just because I wanted to be a mr first.

Hey.

And will you check his records?

We check everything.

In Washington, I mean.

I got most of the details from her.

I'll get the rest from you.

What's going to happen to him?

Well, he'll have to stay in the hospital this time until he's well.

Ronnie: It certainly is a terrible way for you to start your marriage.

You mean there's another way?

Sure is.

There sure is, honey.

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