Original subtitles

(Falcon) Seriously, Iron Man?

You're letting me fly the Helicarrier?

Does Ms. Marvel know about this?

Uh, she's probably over your using it to smack giant monsters around by now.

(chuckles) I always wanted to see what this baby could do.

Uh-uh. Don't even think about hot-dogging.

I mean, proceeding at a safe and reasonable speed.

Attabird.

And if anything crosses your path, drop it into auto cruise.

(Iron Man) And no molting on the upholstery.

Guys, I've been doing some thinking on ways that we can tweak

the Super Hero Squad's performance.

What, like teaching Hulk to read?

Huh?

Good idea, but no.

I've come up with a few inventions which would supplement

everyone's own natural abilities,

therefore enhancing...

(slurping, gulping)

Surfer, is that a smoothie?

Oh. Why yes, it is quite smooth.

Well, I hope you made enough for everybody.

No, but I still have plenty of ingredients...

onions, kiwi fruits, sardines,

um, eye crust, and imitation maple syrup.

What's wrong?

Oh, I'm going to bloweth mighty chunks.

(vomits)

Never mind, okay?

As I was saying, these inventions would enhance the natural...

(Hulk belching to "Mary Had A Little Lamb")

Whoa.

Last time Hulk make it to end of song.

Well, nice to see you're making good use of your free time, Hulk.

These devices would enhance the natural...

-(Helicarrier rumbling) -Huh?

Hey, I told you no hot-dogging.

That wasn't me. It was turbulence.

(Helicarrier creaking)

-(siren wailing) -(all yelling)

(all groaning)

Hulk find pie! Yum!

That wasn't turbulence. Something hit us!

(Reptil) You sure it's not the other way around?

-(electricity buzzes) -(Super Heroes clamor)

(alarm blaring)

-(grunts) -(Helicarrier crashes)

-(jeering) -(man) Smooth move.

Nice one. Where'd you get your license?

(all laughing)

The damage doesn't look too bad from here.

(growls)

Really? From up here it looks like you crashed our headquarters!

(Doom) With that Infinity Sword, I will rule the universe.

All right, Squaddies! Time to Hero Up!

♪ When the bad guys are out All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along ♪

♪ But they're always fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce ♪

♪ Dr. Doom ends up in tears ♪

♪ When Iron Man joins the fight ♪

♪ Falcon darts in from the sky Silver Surfer by his side ♪

♪ Thor's hammer has thunder's might ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! ♪

I hate those Squaddies!

(fire crackling)

(screams)

Who... who did this?

Who wants to explain how something like this

could happen to my Helicarrier?

(laughs nervously) Well, you see, Ms. Marvel,

it's like this, we, uh...

Bird crash boat.

(laughs) That fun!

-(groans) -Falcon? You did this?

You'd think that out of all the Super Hero Squad,

you would know how to fly.

I'm sorry. I can't really explain what happened.

I want this man off the team.

Begging Ms. Cranky-pants's pardon,

but you don't get to decide who's on or off the team.

He needs to be held accountable.

This Helicarrier is...

(together) A S.H.I.E.L.D. facility.

A big boat.

(sighs) Do you know how much it cost to build that?

Do you know how much it's going to cost to repair?

It's not a toy!

Hey, how about I cover the repairs?

I'll even throw in some of those upgrades we talked about.

What about this featherhead?

Featherhead?

Falcon, I said no hot-dogging. You're on probation.

One more screw-up, we'll be taking applications

for a new speed factor hero.

-You got that? -(Falcon sighs) Yes.

And I am not a cranky-pants!

-(all jeering) -(yells)

(all groan)

Definitely a cranky-pants.

Her pants do not look cranky to me.

Nice going, Falcon.

We've got no training facility, no snack bar, no lounge, nothing.

So, like, what are we supposed to do now?

Hey, you've got your parents' house, okay?

The rest of us need to figure out where we're sleeping tonight.

Well, for now, we can bunk at Stark Industries.

Huh?

(grunts)

(grunting)

(grunts) What mechanical folderol be this?

(grunts)

This is some welcome, Iron Man!

Will you hold onto your claws!

Lasers off, robot drones off,

E.M. bursts. Yeah, what else?

Uh, flamethrowers.

(Iron Man) Everyone, back off!

Huh? That was weird.

Something's wonky.

It'll take hours to switch my auto defenses on and off

every time we come or go.

We're going to have to try somewhere else.

Mm. Me thinks I doth have the answer.

(Thor) Leave all to Thor.

Everything is working perfectly, MODOK.

While they exhaust themselves searching for a new base,

we strike!

(laughs) Excellent, Enchantress!

Then the fractals hidden within Super Hero City will be mine!

-I mean Doom's. -Sure, what else?

(Super Heroes clamoring)

Thanks, Punisher. We really appreciate this.

Huh! We're nothing but white blood cells,

hunting the infection called crime.

A sickness that sneaks in through the cracks

the way that Brussels sprouts

sneak onto a plate of delicious macaroni and cheese.

Sure, the city looks safe.

Just push the Brussels sprouts to one side, right?

Wrong! No matter where you put them,

their vile, vegetable juices corrupt the whole plate.

Ooh.

(Punisher) I'm out here to keep those stinking sprouts

off the mac and cheese!

Keep them from leaving the store in the first place!

(alarm blaring)

-(all yelling) -Look out!

Your van smelled like dirty laundry anyway!

Hulk want mac and cheese.

(object whizzing)

Anyone else have any bright ideas?

Let's make prank phone calls!

(growls)

(doorbell rings)

(gasps)

Oh, uh, hi. Is Reptil home?

Hey, guys! Mami, Papi,

is it okay if my friends spend the night?

Es importante.

This'll be awesome!

We can stay up all night planning new ways to capture the bad guys.

We can order pizza, and, oh...

I just got this new video game that is off the hook.

The second someone suggests we make s'mores,

I'm ditching.

S'mores!

Hulk love!

Oh, what are s'mores?

Oh, brace thyself, alien friend.

'Tis a snack like unto ambrosia!

Lo, bring forth the marshmallows!

(laughs)

(Reptile) As you can see, I live, breathe, and dream Super Heroes.

Okay, now I'm scared.

You got Ant-Man on your wall and not me?

The Texas Twister? Now I'm just hurt.

Let's try the dream part first.

(Wolverine grunts) Scoot your glutes, Thunder Lord!

Crowd me not, furry friend!

(water flushing) Can broken.

Oh! Hulk calls top bunk!

(groaning)

(rumbling, glass shattering)

-(all groaning) -That smarts!

No worries. Adimantium skeleton.

Can someone turn on a night light?

I didn't even do anything wrong.

-We shouldn't have done this. -Totally not cosmic.

It's not going to be good for my back.

Come on.

No s'mores?

See you tomorrow, right?

(Wolverine) Why did we bring him along?

-(Hulk yawns) -(Iron Man) Inhumans?

No, too out of the way.

Brother Voodoo? No, too creepy.

She-Hulk?

Hmm, well, maybe if it was just me.

-This is the worst. -Aye.

Odin would weep and write me out of the will

and Loki rejoice to see our mighty band struck so low.

Oh! Hulk got idea!

(sniffs) Huh?

(laughing)

Uh, Hulk?

Hulk, heel! Hulk, heel!

(laughing)

-No way. -Huh?

Magic Man!

Odin wept!

Not. Wait for it...

the sanctum sanctorum!

Squaddies stay here!

Uh, bad idea.

Dr. Strange doesn't like to be bothered.

Besides which he keeps really off hours.

Hey, I hear Molecule Man has reformed.

-I vote we try him. -(yawns)

Let's just do this.

I'm so tired, I could sleep in Hulk's armpit if I had to.

(sniffs) Ew.

Hulk not lemony fresh.

Good, since you're the one who got us into this mess.

(Iron Man) Hulk, Door.

-(door splintering) -(Hulk) Oopsie.

Uh, okay.

Huh. Hulk like Hulk's way better.

(growls)

If we had something like that on the Helicarrier,

I'd be asleep in my own bed right now.

(Dr. Strange) Greetings.

The Eye of Agamotto has revealed to me

that trouble of a magical nature has brought you before me.

Either the Eye of Agamotto is wonky again,

or crashing the Helicarrier

was one of Falcon's lame magic tricks.

-(growls) -Actually, Doctor,

we're looking for a place to crash,

but I know it's a huge inconvenience,

and we're kind of a big group, so, uh, it's okay if you say no.

You are welcome to stay for as long as you need.

Darn! I mean, great.

(caw echoes)

(rumbling)

It's plumbing.

Yeah, that's it, just the plumbing.

(thunder cracks)

Yeah, wood creaks in old houses

when the temperature changes at night. Yeah.

(howling bellows)

(shrieks)

(Iron Man) Just traffic out on the street.

(laughs nervously) Beep, beep.

(snarls)

The supernatural is anything but super.

I hate magic.

(Wolverine snoring)

(raspy howl)

-(yells) -Bloody fingers.

Bloody fingers!

(sighs) Metal bones, bub.

Metal bones!

(shrieks)

Hmm.

(growls)

Aw, great. Now I can't sleep.

(snoring)

(shrieks)

-(caws) -(neighs)

(whimpers)

(snoring)

Cosmic.

(resumes snoring)

(wolves howl)

(resumes snoring)

Magic man must have magic can somewhere.

Uh-uh! (chuckles)

Hulk use door!

This not can.

Is it?

(sighs) Nay. Won't eat that.

Nor that. Oh!

That should not be.

The good doctor be passing strange,

not only in name but in pantry.

Ah, let's see.

Ah, a fizzy beverage

fit to slake the thirst of an Asgardian.

(gasps)

Ah, free at last!

Long have I, Baron Mordo,

dwelled on my revenge against my enemy,

Dr. Strange!

Nah! It's a spooky can!

Begone, gaseous spirit!

To thee I say nay!

I call upon thee...

(belches)

(gulps) the dark lords of Varf Mandra

and the... (belches)

Excuse me.

Legions of Shuma Gorath...

(belches)

curse the carbonated...

(belches thunderously)

(objects crash and shatter)

(Mordo) ...soft drink that was my prison!

(both grunting)

(Dr. Strange) By the hoary hosts of Hoggoth,

what is going on here?

(Dr. Strange) By Astototh, and Vernor, and the Vishanti,

back to your beverage, Mordo!

(Mordo) No!

(Dr. Strange) I rescind my invitation.

(sighs) I'm so tired I could eat a horse.

Wait, that would be hungry, wouldn't it?

(MODOK) Your sorcery has brought results at last, Enchantress.

(sighs) Men. You all have such big heads.

Without their Helicarrier,

exhausted from lack of sleep,

the good guys cannot stop us!

Behold! My winged primates of peril

sow chaos across the city!

Soon, my minions will sift through the wreckage

for fractals.

The minions are Doom's, MODOK.

Of course, Doom's minions. What did I say?

(shrieking)

Look, flying kitty cats! (laughs)

Wake up and smell the Doom, Squaddies.

The city's under attack!

(bombs whistling)

Those fruit-tossing chimps are going to wreck the town.

Time to Hero Up!

(sighs) It's not like I was sleeping anyway.

♪ When the bad guys are out All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along ♪

♪ But they're always fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad ♪

(gibbering)

Surfer, help me with the pineapple grenades and banana bombs!

Thor, you and Falcon take care of the monkey squadron.

Verily it shall be done!

You know, Thor gazes sorely upon the mistreatment of animals,

but thine monkeyshines must be halted.

(growls) Die, Simian! Yeah!

What devilry is this?

(Falcon) You got me, but they're all popping on impact.

(Silver Surfer) These simian simulacrums may be illusions,

but the fruit bombs are very real!

Whew. There must be thousands of them!

We could be at this all night.

Maybe not. Come on, get them to follow me!

Enchantress, are these your best monkeys?

Their fragile nature is a side effect of crafting so many.

Their numbers tire the heroes even further,

making their defeat all the easier.

Well, can't you make one big one?

This way, everybody!

S.H.I.E.L.D. shelters in the park!

(Iron Man) Now, hang back

and herd them my way.

(Falcon) Now we're talking!

At this rate, our monkey problem will be over in moments.

Ah, forsooth, 'tis done.

(together) Yeah!

(Enchantress grunts)

(MODOK) You're in trouble, you're in trouble.

(laughs)

For once, Dr. Doom is going to call you a fool and not me.

He wouldn't dare!

The only fools are those heroes!

You're in trouble, you're in trouble.

-Quit it! -(MODOK yells)

(Thor) 'Tis a sensation twin to that which vexed us

on the Helicarrier at the dawn of this day's trials.

In other words, this has happened before.

(Super Heroes grunting)

(Falcon) See! I told you it wasn't me!

(Super Heroes yelling)

There! Bad magic lady is shaking Hulk's friends.

Yeah, and she's too high up for our fastball special.

You may have triumphed over my enchanted minions,

but I am another matter altogether.

Farewell, Super Hero Squad.

I only regret that handsome Thor

calls himself a hero instead of standing at my side.

Who dares?

I dare.

I told you that magic was behind all your troubles,

but no one listens to me.

The Enchantress, at the bidding of Dr. Doom,

caused your Helicarrier to crash.

(Dr. Strange yells)

(both yell)

Ah!

(grunting)

Her power is great.

You have no idea how messed up you made my day, witch!

Now, it's my turn to return the favor.

(grunts)

-(screams) -(grunts)

Enchantress, even in defeat you're a striking woman.

What say you and I have a little dinner

and talk about changing those evil ways.

You dare suggest the Enchantress dally with a mere mortal?

Yes. Just think about it.

Our odd but mystic ally doth stir.

Heroes, fly aside!

In the name of the eternal Vishanti

I call upon the shades of the seraphim

and the omnipotent Oshtur to defeat you!

(grunts)

Ha! Be gone, sorceress of the dark.

This isn't over!

I will return, stronger than ever!

We have been terribly rude.

(clamoring)

-Sorry, dude. -You're still a lousy driver.

Yay, bird!

Hulk knew bird know how to fly!

All right, big fellow.

(laughs)

I owe you an apology, too.

Just don't let it happen again.

Hey, Falc, you know that whole "you're on probation" thing

was just to satisfy Ms. Marvel, right?

-Whatever you say, bucket head. -(yawning)

Hulk want to know, where we go nappy-nappy?

I have an idea.

Falc, you've been hanging out with that bird a little bit too long.

(others grunting)

(Silver Surfer) Great idea.

That hurts if you do that.

(all snoring)

(sigh)

(whimper)

(theme music playing)