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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:33,575 --> 00:03:36,662 - All right. Cut it. - All right. Hold it. 2 00:03:46,047 --> 00:03:48,841 What is that idiot doing? 3 00:03:54,180 --> 00:03:56,472 - What's that idiot doing? - I just asked that. 4 00:03:56,722 --> 00:03:59,100 - What's the answer? - I don't know. 5 00:03:59,184 --> 00:04:02,103 You're the director. You brought him over from India. 6 00:04:02,186 --> 00:04:07,233 You'd better start telling him what to do or we'll be out of business. Now go ahead. 7 00:04:20,248 --> 00:04:22,541 Come on. 8 00:04:22,793 --> 00:04:24,876 - Charlie - Yes... 9 00:04:33,010 --> 00:04:34,801 Ready? Action! 10 00:04:57,617 --> 00:04:59,619 Cut, damn it. Cut. 11 00:05:08,127 --> 00:05:10,211 - Mr Bakshi - Yes, sir... 12 00:05:11,088 --> 00:05:15,468 Has it occurred to you that the period of our picture is 1878? 13 00:05:15,552 --> 00:05:19,807 Oh yes indeed, sir. I am well aware that - 1878. 14 00:05:19,891 --> 00:05:23,603 Mr Bakshi, are you also aware that in 1878 15 00:05:23,687 --> 00:05:26,148 they weren't wearing underwater watches? 16 00:05:26,399 --> 00:05:29,735 Yes, sir. I know that. They had not even been invented. 17 00:05:29,819 --> 00:05:32,071 - Got the time? - Yes, it's... 18 00:05:32,656 --> 00:05:35,824 - Oh my God! - All right. Lunch, everybody. 19 00:05:35,908 --> 00:05:40,286 That's 42 for the crew, 1 hour for the cast. 20 00:05:47,628 --> 00:05:51,756 OK, guys. The cue for the demolition is when I lower my hand like this. 21 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:57,053 - We've got one shot at this. Let's get it right. - All right. Places, everybody. 22 00:05:57,137 --> 00:06:02,432 Marty, Clutterbuck says, if we don't wrap this location today, it's your neck! 23 00:06:02,516 --> 00:06:07,354 - All we have left is to blow up the fort. - OK. Great. 24 00:06:11,775 --> 00:06:13,527 OK, Ken. Let's go. 25 00:06:13,611 --> 00:06:17,030 - All right. Carol... Earl... - All right. Stand by. 26 00:06:43,307 --> 00:06:45,392 You! 27 00:06:49,896 --> 00:06:51,982 Yes, you! 28 00:06:52,066 --> 00:06:55,610 You get off of my set and get out of my picture. 29 00:06:56,362 --> 00:07:00,740 Off. Out. You're through. You're washed up. You're finished. 30 00:07:00,824 --> 00:07:04,579 I'll see to it, you never make another movie again. 31 00:07:05,622 --> 00:07:10,918 - Does that include television, sir? - I'll kill him. 32 00:07:25,432 --> 00:07:28,518 - Yes... - Mr Divot calling from location, on 6. 33 00:07:28,603 --> 00:07:30,687 All right. 34 00:07:32,105 --> 00:07:34,191 Yes, Charlie... 35 00:07:35,860 --> 00:07:37,319 What? 36 00:07:37,571 --> 00:07:39,488 What? 37 00:07:39,572 --> 00:07:41,615 The whole damn thing? 38 00:07:41,699 --> 00:07:44,577 How the hell could a thing like that happen? 39 00:07:44,661 --> 00:07:46,786 What's his name? 40 00:07:46,870 --> 00:07:48,954 Spell it. 41 00:07:49,624 --> 00:07:53,459 "Hrundi... V..." 42 00:07:54,002 --> 00:07:57,923 "B-A-K-S-H-I." 43 00:07:59,175 --> 00:08:02,218 I'll see to it he never works again in this town. 44 00:08:03,179 --> 00:08:06,473 - Your wife wants the party guest list. - It's on the desk. 45 00:08:06,557 --> 00:08:08,642 You know where to reach me. 46 00:08:30,748 --> 00:08:35,501 I need an address for Hrundi V. Bakshi. 47 00:08:35,961 --> 00:08:38,671 "B-A-K-S-H-I." 48 00:13:13,990 --> 00:13:16,074 Hello. 49 00:15:15,029 --> 00:15:16,987 Vodka and scotch, sir? 50 00:15:25,706 --> 00:15:27,791 No. 51 00:15:28,625 --> 00:15:30,710 I never touch it. Thank you. 52 00:15:52,106 --> 00:15:54,190 No, thank you. 53 00:15:55,401 --> 00:15:59,989 - Hors d'oeuvre, sir? - Well I'm on a diet, but to hell with it! 54 00:16:41,405 --> 00:16:44,449 The mother says to the father, "We've got the wrong baby" 55 00:16:44,534 --> 00:16:47,619 and the father says, "Sh! It's a better buggy." 56 00:16:48,078 --> 00:16:50,621 I'd never heard that. It's marvellous. 57 00:16:54,376 --> 00:16:58,211 Yes. 58 00:16:59,547 --> 00:17:04,048 I missed the middle part, but I can tell from the way that you are enjoying it 59 00:17:04,133 --> 00:17:06,552 it must have been a very humorous anecdote 60 00:17:06,635 --> 00:17:10,430 because the way you are laughing just shows how much you enjoyed it. 61 00:17:10,514 --> 00:17:14,058 I love a good laugh, don't you? It makes the world go round. 62 00:17:14,142 --> 00:17:18,353 It's good to have a laugh, wonderful! 63 00:17:19,315 --> 00:17:21,400 Very good! 64 00:17:29,786 --> 00:17:31,869 I must remember that one. 65 00:17:40,837 --> 00:17:43,965 "...bound and gagged for six hours." 66 00:17:44,050 --> 00:17:48,470 They took everything... even the gold watch my daddy left me. 67 00:17:50,556 --> 00:17:53,683 They took the gold watch that your father left you? 68 00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:56,645 I'm sorry. It's absolutely fantastic! 69 00:17:56,729 --> 00:18:02,607 What a wonderful thing to do! Take everything including your father's watch. 70 00:18:02,692 --> 00:18:07,614 I tell you, tonight is one big round of laughter... all fun and laughter! 71 00:18:10,702 --> 00:18:14,162 The congressman was just telling us about the time he was robbed. 72 00:18:21,838 --> 00:18:24,966 - Who's the foreigner? - I don't know. 73 00:18:25,049 --> 00:18:28,592 Someone my mixed-up wife invited. 74 00:18:34,182 --> 00:18:37,935 Hello, dog. What do you want, eh? You like my feet, do you? 75 00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:40,438 Have your fill and away you go. 76 00:18:40,522 --> 00:18:44,860 Feet are considered a delicacy among certain animals, you know. 77 00:18:45,111 --> 00:18:48,363 Go on. You've had enough now. Off! Ciao. Chow-chow. 78 00:18:48,906 --> 00:18:54,910 In fact, there are man-eating animals who will eat only the feet, not one other thing. 79 00:18:55,703 --> 00:18:57,787 Get away. Ciao now. Ciao, dog. 80 00:18:59,122 --> 00:19:02,250 Get away. Get away from me, dog. 81 00:19:02,335 --> 00:19:05,545 - Vodka or scotch, sir? - No, I... no, thank you. 82 00:19:21,147 --> 00:19:24,316 - Good evening, Mr Divot. How are you? - How are you? 83 00:19:24,399 --> 00:19:26,485 Smile at them. 84 00:19:31,115 --> 00:19:34,409 Good evening, general. I'd like you to meet Miss Michele Monet. 85 00:19:34,494 --> 00:19:38,288 "Mr Clutterbuck"... "Mrs Clutterbuck"... How are you, Alice? 86 00:19:38,372 --> 00:19:41,082 I'll introduce my guests, if I may: "Mrs. Dunphy"... 87 00:19:46,378 --> 00:19:49,799 I've heard some wonderful things about you. 88 00:19:49,883 --> 00:19:52,676 Well sir, you seem to have a wonderful party going. 89 00:20:00,561 --> 00:20:02,936 - How do you like it so far? - Fine. 90 00:20:03,022 --> 00:20:05,399 Have a drink. Go ahead. 91 00:20:19,583 --> 00:20:22,668 - Hello. - Oh hello. 92 00:20:23,293 --> 00:20:26,506 - Hello. Good evening. - Good evening. 93 00:20:26,591 --> 00:20:30,175 What a beautiful evening it is, to be sure! 94 00:20:37,390 --> 00:20:39,891 What's in there? 95 00:20:39,976 --> 00:20:42,059 What, in here? 96 00:20:43,980 --> 00:20:46,064 Well there is nothing in there. 97 00:20:48,442 --> 00:20:50,527 Yes there is. 98 00:20:51,445 --> 00:20:54,447 Oh I don't know. I don't think so. 99 00:20:55,908 --> 00:20:57,827 - No. - Can't you see it? 100 00:20:57,912 --> 00:21:00,956 No. There is definitely nothing in there. 101 00:21:01,039 --> 00:21:04,918 If there was something it's gone away now anyway. 102 00:21:05,004 --> 00:21:07,086 Well, I can see it. 103 00:21:10,507 --> 00:21:13,259 What is it? 104 00:21:13,343 --> 00:21:15,928 I don't know but I don't like it. 105 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,441 Hare Ram Ram. 106 00:21:28,525 --> 00:21:29,858 Hey. 107 00:21:29,942 --> 00:21:33,152 - Oh. Pardon me, sir. - That's quite all right, fellow. 108 00:21:33,238 --> 00:21:38,200 - I'm so sorry, sir. I beg your pardon. - Honey, we'll play it over here. 109 00:21:38,785 --> 00:21:40,745 Right here... This is an easy shot. 110 00:21:40,829 --> 00:21:44,498 First get in the saddle just like I taught you. That's it. 111 00:21:44,583 --> 00:21:47,752 - No. I feel silly. - Oh no, hon. You can do it this way. 112 00:21:47,836 --> 00:21:51,255 I was doing it the other day. Just relax and you can... 113 00:21:52,132 --> 00:21:54,133 Just relax. Just... 114 00:21:54,217 --> 00:21:57,053 Pay no attention to me, sir. I'm merely spectating. 115 00:21:57,137 --> 00:21:59,221 Fine. 116 00:21:59,306 --> 00:22:02,224 I can see that you are an experienced player. 117 00:22:02,309 --> 00:22:04,688 One of the best, fellow, one of the best! 118 00:22:04,897 --> 00:22:10,486 Sir, what is the name of a game that has a multitude of colored balls like that? 119 00:22:10,569 --> 00:22:13,152 - "Pool." - "Poo"? 120 00:22:13,238 --> 00:22:18,368 - No, not "poo"... "pool." - "Pool". Oh like "swimming pool". 121 00:22:18,453 --> 00:22:21,454 - I've never heard of a game called "pool". - A fine game! 122 00:22:21,538 --> 00:22:26,250 And what is the object of it? To disperse these balls strategically around the table? 123 00:22:26,335 --> 00:22:28,919 To get the balls in the holes, except the white one. 124 00:22:29,002 --> 00:22:32,044 That is the art? The art is not to have the white one in? 125 00:22:32,128 --> 00:22:33,963 - Right. - Good! 126 00:22:34,046 --> 00:22:36,256 And how many people can play? 127 00:22:36,341 --> 00:22:40,094 - Oh whole bunches, or twos and threes. - Groups of people can play? 128 00:22:40,179 --> 00:22:43,304 - Or by yourself. - Thank goodness! How wonderful! 129 00:22:47,436 --> 00:22:50,438 Keep your eye on the white ball, and you can... 130 00:22:51,984 --> 00:22:54,067 Oh 131 00:22:55,861 --> 00:22:57,946 Oh excuse me, sir. 132 00:22:58,489 --> 00:23:00,865 Excuse me, sir, but 133 00:23:00,950 --> 00:23:06,080 you are, are you not, "Wyoming Bill" Kelso, the famous film star? 134 00:23:06,164 --> 00:23:09,708 - That's me, in the flesh. - Oh God! What a moment in my life! 135 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,045 I've seen every one of your films. 136 00:23:12,130 --> 00:23:15,214 Oh that's wonderful, wonderful! 137 00:23:15,299 --> 00:23:18,384 - What a wonderful strong grip you've got! - Yes. I do. 138 00:23:18,467 --> 00:23:22,847 I would have been disappointed if you hadn't crushed my hand. 139 00:23:23,638 --> 00:23:26,099 Would you do me the honor to sign me an autograph? 140 00:23:26,184 --> 00:23:29,019 Oh sure. Here... Hold this. I'll be glad to. 141 00:23:29,103 --> 00:23:31,521 - I'm also in the acting profession. - You are? 142 00:23:31,605 --> 00:23:35,692 Yes, indeed. I'm not in your quality, but I am also an actor. 143 00:23:35,776 --> 00:23:39,280 - What's your name? - "Hrundi": "H-R-U-N-D-I." 144 00:23:39,363 --> 00:23:42,490 Wait till I tell them at home that I've met him! 145 00:23:42,575 --> 00:23:45,203 - Where are you from? - I am from India. 146 00:23:45,454 --> 00:23:47,746 - Got you covered, Indian! - Oh 147 00:23:48,789 --> 00:23:52,125 - Bang! Howdy, partner. - You're pretty quick on the draw there! 148 00:23:52,209 --> 00:23:54,835 Never I believed in my whole life, I would meet him 149 00:23:54,919 --> 00:23:57,252 and he would go "Bang, partner!" 150 00:23:57,588 --> 00:24:02,425 Listen to me. "White man speak with forked tongue!" 151 00:24:06,766 --> 00:24:08,932 You old horned toad, buddy! 152 00:24:09,517 --> 00:24:13,645 - Cute little fellow, isn't he? - I know all your sayings, all of them! 153 00:24:13,730 --> 00:24:16,065 The one where you walk along and go... 154 00:24:18,277 --> 00:24:21,446 - Hrundi, say hello to the signorina here. - Hello, partener. 155 00:24:21,531 --> 00:24:24,200 - Piacere - "Bakshi" 156 00:24:24,283 --> 00:24:26,366 - There you go... - Ah thank you. 157 00:24:26,452 --> 00:24:29,287 - This is a wonderful thing for me. - My pleasure. 158 00:24:29,371 --> 00:24:35,794 Thank you, and I would love to say that it has been the greatest moment in my life! 159 00:24:35,961 --> 00:24:38,046 Bang! I got you! 160 00:24:38,130 --> 00:24:42,509 - I was quick on the draw. - You beat me that time, pal. That's right. 161 00:24:43,803 --> 00:24:47,431 - Lots of luck to you. - Yes and the same to you, sir. 162 00:25:45,531 --> 00:25:47,616 Howdy, partener. 163 00:26:45,175 --> 00:26:48,050 Oh that was a short dance. 164 00:26:48,134 --> 00:26:51,136 - That's right. - They don't go on for long, do they? 165 00:26:51,222 --> 00:26:53,138 We'd just started and... 166 00:26:53,223 --> 00:26:56,934 Well anyway, thank you very much. Perhaps we can dance again later. 167 00:26:57,018 --> 00:26:59,854 - Oh, OK. - If your carnet de bal is not full up. 168 00:27:17,707 --> 00:27:19,792 Hello, Polly. 169 00:27:20,210 --> 00:27:23,462 Hello, Polly. Pretty Polly! 170 00:27:23,922 --> 00:27:26,005 Hello. 171 00:27:27,509 --> 00:27:29,968 Would you like some food, Polly? 172 00:27:30,051 --> 00:27:31,970 Pretty Polly! 173 00:27:40,396 --> 00:27:42,689 - "Birdie Num Num" - Hello. 174 00:27:42,773 --> 00:27:46,776 "Birdie Num Num." Have Birdie Num Num. 175 00:27:49,154 --> 00:27:51,239 Go on. 176 00:27:52,616 --> 00:27:55,451 I'll give you a last one. 177 00:27:59,165 --> 00:28:02,209 She's having the Birdie Num Nums. 178 00:28:04,377 --> 00:28:07,462 Look. She's waiting for more Num Num. 179 00:28:07,548 --> 00:28:09,632 All gone. Num Num is gone. 180 00:28:21,062 --> 00:28:24,065 Pretty bird! Pretty Polly! 181 00:29:22,540 --> 00:29:23,540 "Num Num" 182 00:29:23,625 --> 00:29:26,667 "Num Num", "Birdie Num Num" 183 00:29:32,006 --> 00:29:34,342 - What in the world is that? - I can't imagine. 184 00:29:43,436 --> 00:29:46,270 Howdy, partener. 185 00:29:46,730 --> 00:29:50,734 Howdy, par... te... ner... partener. 186 00:29:50,818 --> 00:29:52,902 Howdy, partener. 187 00:30:21,015 --> 00:30:23,765 Look at that. Oh 188 00:30:24,393 --> 00:30:26,938 What was that? 189 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,359 Would you mind getting... 190 00:30:46,165 --> 00:30:49,916 This is 469-6151. 191 00:30:51,043 --> 00:30:55,047 Please remain connected to the telephone. 192 00:30:55,339 --> 00:30:57,425 There is a call for you, sir. 193 00:30:58,761 --> 00:31:02,682 Please, hold on to the connection. Please, 1 second. 194 00:31:04,142 --> 00:31:06,226 I wonder if you could... 195 00:31:07,228 --> 00:31:09,937 - Can you hold here? - Yes. 196 00:31:11,272 --> 00:31:14,567 Would you just let my hand go? You've got my hand. Thank you. 197 00:31:14,818 --> 00:31:17,403 Now I'll take this from you. 198 00:31:17,488 --> 00:31:19,697 Hold on one moment. 199 00:31:21,616 --> 00:31:26,412 Excuse the mess up here. It is "Birdie Num Nums". I've got them under my feet. 200 00:31:32,337 --> 00:31:35,756 Just one second. If you can take this around you... 201 00:31:40,428 --> 00:31:43,012 Just lift the ashtray, please. 202 00:31:46,267 --> 00:31:48,602 Yes. Thank you. 203 00:31:50,939 --> 00:31:52,439 Yes. 204 00:31:52,524 --> 00:31:54,442 Oh Benny 205 00:31:54,527 --> 00:31:57,654 Yes. Well I'm having a few people in. 206 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:04,536 The picture... yes. It was going fine until some idiot blew up the set. 207 00:32:12,460 --> 00:32:14,545 - Scotch? - No. 208 00:32:49,871 --> 00:32:49,996 This picture's a very good one, you know. It's going to be great. 209 00:32:49,997 --> 00:32:53,248 This picture's a very good one, you know. It's going to be great. 210 00:32:53,334 --> 00:32:55,209 - Caviar? - No, thank you. 211 00:32:55,295 --> 00:32:58,212 - Sir - I don't think so, thanks. 212 00:33:14,478 --> 00:33:17,649 Eat. 213 00:33:17,900 --> 00:33:21,821 Oh sure, honey. We're going to eat but they've got to ring the little bell first. 214 00:33:22,071 --> 00:33:24,156 Bell? 215 00:33:24,283 --> 00:33:27,948 - Bell. Ding-ding. - Ding-ding? 216 00:33:28,034 --> 00:33:30,995 But first let's have a little tiddly at the bar. 217 00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,538 - Hello. - Oh howdy, little buddy. 218 00:33:37,168 --> 00:33:40,421 That's my old - an Indian grip. 219 00:33:40,504 --> 00:33:43,631 Oh you really crushed my old Indian hand. 220 00:33:43,716 --> 00:33:46,219 It, sort of, smarts, doesn't it? 221 00:33:46,304 --> 00:33:48,762 The friendliest little creature I ever met! 222 00:33:49,722 --> 00:33:54,560 It's an honor to have had my hand crushed by Wyoming Bill Kelso. 223 00:33:54,645 --> 00:33:57,104 Wait till I tell them back home! 224 00:33:58,648 --> 00:34:00,733 Ooh 225 00:34:15,457 --> 00:34:17,539 Pooh 226 00:34:31,847 --> 00:34:33,472 - Oh - OK 227 00:34:33,557 --> 00:34:35,057 - Pardon me. - It's OK. 228 00:34:49,739 --> 00:34:51,824 - Hello. - Hello. 229 00:34:52,369 --> 00:34:55,204 Oh... it was occupied. 230 00:34:55,288 --> 00:34:57,581 - Oh - Yes. 231 00:34:57,666 --> 00:34:59,709 "Hrundi V. Bakshi" 232 00:34:59,793 --> 00:35:03,460 - Pardon? - That is what my name is called. 233 00:35:03,545 --> 00:35:05,755 - Oh. "Michele Monet". - How do you do? 234 00:35:05,841 --> 00:35:07,882 How do you do? 235 00:35:07,967 --> 00:35:10,176 Are you having a good time? 236 00:35:10,261 --> 00:35:12,344 - Mm-hm. - Good! 237 00:35:12,596 --> 00:35:16,808 - Are you having a good time? - Oh yes. I am having a good time. 238 00:35:16,891 --> 00:35:21,938 - Good! - It's good to be having a good time. 239 00:35:22,022 --> 00:35:24,107 - Yes. - Yes. 240 00:35:24,650 --> 00:35:26,611 - Are you an actress? - Yes. 241 00:35:26,696 --> 00:35:29,447 - Oh yes. I can tell. - Oh? 242 00:35:29,531 --> 00:35:31,614 - Because I am an actor. - Oh I see. 243 00:35:31,699 --> 00:35:35,579 Actors can tell when actresses are actresses, and actresses can tell... 244 00:35:35,660 --> 00:35:38,997 - It is a thing that we have together. - Ah 245 00:35:39,081 --> 00:35:41,249 - You are also French. - How do you know? 246 00:35:41,332 --> 00:35:43,501 Your name and the way you speak English. 247 00:35:43,586 --> 00:35:48,675 - Oh that's right. Do you speak French? - Just enough to get myself into trouble. 248 00:35:48,758 --> 00:35:50,802 I'll tell you what I can say: 249 00:35:50,887 --> 00:35:54,013 Où est la direction de la tour Eiffel, s'il vous plaît? 250 00:35:54,264 --> 00:35:56,558 That's pretty good. You do speak French. 251 00:35:56,641 --> 00:35:58,516 - Do you speak Hindustani? - No. 252 00:35:58,601 --> 00:36:02,398 Well you are not missing anything. Oh dear! 253 00:36:02,648 --> 00:36:04,817 I am here at the moment taking part 254 00:36:04,900 --> 00:36:08,570 in Mr. General Clutterbuck's latest motion-picture extravaganza. 255 00:36:08,654 --> 00:36:11,447 - Oh. That's wonderful! - It is a main feature role 256 00:36:11,532 --> 00:36:14,284 and I am very glad to have the opportunity to do it. 257 00:36:14,368 --> 00:36:16,453 - Congratulations! - Thank you. 258 00:36:16,538 --> 00:36:19,079 Are you doing something in a movie? 259 00:36:19,330 --> 00:36:21,874 - Are you working in a movie? - No 260 00:36:21,957 --> 00:36:25,627 but next week I'm doing a test for Mr Divot. 261 00:36:25,713 --> 00:36:28,213 Oh, Mr Divot! 262 00:36:28,297 --> 00:36:30,924 - What? - Oh listen. I... 263 00:36:32,134 --> 00:36:33,550 - Oh - Let's get to the bar. 264 00:36:33,636 --> 00:36:37,721 - Mr Divot, how do you do? - Yes. Right, fellow. All right? 265 00:36:38,264 --> 00:36:41,683 - Goodbye. - 'Bye. 266 00:36:42,311 --> 00:36:44,978 - Who is that guy? - A very nice man 267 00:36:45,063 --> 00:36:48,690 - with an unpronounceable name. - I know him from some place. 268 00:36:48,775 --> 00:36:51,693 How are you, general? Remember Miss Michele Monet here? 269 00:36:51,779 --> 00:36:55,991 Have you heard her sing? We're giving her a test. She sings like a nightingale. 270 00:36:56,076 --> 00:37:00,286 - I'll look forward to that. - Excuse us, sir. We're going to the bar. 271 00:37:11,590 --> 00:37:13,675 - Dinner is served. - Good! 272 00:37:22,642 --> 00:37:25,144 Dinner is served. 273 00:37:29,275 --> 00:37:32,066 Dinner is served, darling. 274 00:37:51,087 --> 00:37:55,258 - Alice, where is Miss Monet sitting? - Right around here, dear. 275 00:37:58,636 --> 00:38:02,015 Bernie, give Miss Monet a hand, please. 276 00:38:02,098 --> 00:38:04,933 Excuse me for a minute, sweetheart. 277 00:38:18,406 --> 00:38:21,366 Dear... I believe, you're down here, dear... 278 00:38:24,411 --> 00:38:26,496 right down here. 279 00:38:29,750 --> 00:38:32,835 - "Bakshi", right? - Oh, yes. Mr. Bakshi. 280 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:37,422 - Oh there's no chair. - Everybody needs to move over. 281 00:38:37,507 --> 00:38:42,344 Oh. Darling, would you mind moving up just one? I'm terribly sorry. 282 00:39:17,005 --> 00:39:21,094 I'm sorry, darling. You're going to have to move back. It was a mistake. 283 00:39:21,179 --> 00:39:26,391 I'm awfully sorry. Levinson, will you get the gentleman a chair, please? 284 00:39:26,475 --> 00:39:31,436 No. It was a mistake, but he's going to bring you a chair and you'll be all right. 285 00:39:41,741 --> 00:39:43,993 What happened to your little face? 286 00:39:44,076 --> 00:39:48,123 Nothing, except that it is somewhat nearer to the table now. 287 00:39:48,208 --> 00:39:50,708 My chair is lower than your chair. 288 00:40:05,683 --> 00:40:09,018 - Do you like your strawberry soup? - Oh strawberry soup! 289 00:40:09,101 --> 00:40:11,478 I haven't had it lately. 290 00:40:11,563 --> 00:40:14,442 - It's lovely in summer, don't you think? - Yes. 291 00:40:14,607 --> 00:40:18,152 Oh yes, it's... oh it's lovely right now. 292 00:40:18,235 --> 00:40:20,320 Good! I'm so glad. 293 00:41:07,912 --> 00:41:10,538 Hey. Give me some of that, will you, pal? 294 00:41:11,332 --> 00:41:14,459 How's the chow? It looks pretty good. 295 00:41:37,691 --> 00:41:39,776 No wine, thank you. 296 00:41:40,444 --> 00:41:42,529 No wine, please. No. 297 00:41:43,323 --> 00:41:45,240 Please, no wine. 298 00:41:45,324 --> 00:41:48,867 I know you would like me to have it, but I don't want it. 299 00:41:49,162 --> 00:41:53,330 All right. I don't drink. I don't smoke... no wine. 300 00:42:17,355 --> 00:42:21,274 Are you all right? Oh I'm so sorry. 301 00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:23,570 I dropped my roll. 302 00:42:24,903 --> 00:42:27,573 If I can sit here, I won't be in anybody's way. 303 00:42:27,657 --> 00:42:32,619 - You're sure, you're comfortable? - Here the door won't bang me. 304 00:42:32,704 --> 00:42:35,122 All right. Excuse me. 305 00:42:43,255 --> 00:42:46,341 They should be finished with the soup. Get the plates. 306 00:43:31,593 --> 00:43:34,845 - Mrs Clutterbuck, shall I serve the salad? - Yes. 307 00:43:54,283 --> 00:43:56,703 What are you doing? 308 00:44:34,742 --> 00:44:36,825 Get into the kitchen. 309 00:44:39,828 --> 00:44:41,955 That is just outside Bombay. 310 00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:45,418 - And Bombay is in India... - Oh that is very much in India 311 00:44:45,501 --> 00:44:48,628 and that is indeed the gateway to India! 312 00:44:55,804 --> 00:44:59,724 I think that one of these bearers does not like the other one. 313 00:45:00,392 --> 00:45:04,313 You have a very hard time finding good help these days. 314 00:45:04,396 --> 00:45:06,479 Yes. You certainly do! 315 00:47:27,121 --> 00:47:32,333 Did you hear about the trapeze artist who got divorced? Caught his wife in the act! 316 00:47:36,755 --> 00:47:38,674 That's terribly funny! 317 00:47:38,757 --> 00:47:41,677 Yes. It's been terribly funny for about 20 years. 318 00:49:10,267 --> 00:49:11,684 Oh 319 00:50:00,611 --> 00:50:05,280 - Gore, are you sure, it's all right? - It's not "all right". It's divine! 320 00:50:19,462 --> 00:50:24,173 You've got to start with education. That's where you need to spend... 321 00:50:25,510 --> 00:50:28,845 Mrs Clutterbuck, please can I take this opportunity 322 00:50:29,097 --> 00:50:32,306 to apologize to you formally for what happened at the table? 323 00:50:32,389 --> 00:50:35,476 Oh my dear, just forget it. It wasn't your fault. 324 00:50:35,559 --> 00:50:37,646 - What embarrassment for you! - Why, no. 325 00:50:37,730 --> 00:50:40,857 It was that ridiculous little chair they put you on! 326 00:50:40,940 --> 00:50:45,027 It was awful, but at the same time I feel it is my duty to say this to you now. 327 00:50:45,110 --> 00:50:48,697 - I just think we should forget all about it. - Indeed, you are right 328 00:50:48,947 --> 00:50:52,867 but before then I will also go to your husband and say to him that I am sorry. 329 00:50:53,119 --> 00:50:56,498 - That's not necessary, really. - It is on my conscience. 330 00:50:56,581 --> 00:50:59,458 - Well if you want to, go ahead. - Thank you. 331 00:51:19,688 --> 00:51:23,483 - General, an excellent aroma! - I'm glad you like it. 332 00:51:23,567 --> 00:51:26,778 I still have a few left over from the pre-Castro days. 333 00:51:28,113 --> 00:51:30,615 General Clutterbuck, sir 334 00:51:30,700 --> 00:51:35,077 please, I would like to formally apologize to you for any inconvenience 335 00:51:35,161 --> 00:51:38,708 that I may have caused you or your guests at the table tonight. 336 00:51:38,958 --> 00:51:42,501 - It's understandable. - It will never happen again 337 00:51:42,586 --> 00:51:46,965 should you wish to have me on your list of guests on some other occasion. 338 00:51:47,050 --> 00:51:51,135 When I saw what havoc that I wrought, my poor old knees turned to water! 339 00:51:51,221 --> 00:51:53,262 - God, what a state I was! - I can imagine. 340 00:51:53,347 --> 00:51:58,018 But now that I have apologized to you... also I have spoken to your good lady 341 00:51:58,103 --> 00:52:01,939 and I told her, sir, that it is a terrible thing to have happened 342 00:52:02,022 --> 00:52:04,274 and I am sorry deep down inside of me. 343 00:52:04,357 --> 00:52:06,482 - Enjoy yourself. - Thank you, sir. 344 00:52:06,567 --> 00:52:09,696 - Thank you for listening to me. - It's all right. 345 00:52:09,779 --> 00:52:14,451 General, about this wack... I asked her to go out with me one night... 346 00:52:47,984 --> 00:52:51,321 Brandy or crème de cacao, sir? 347 00:52:51,404 --> 00:52:53,237 Yes. 348 00:53:13,841 --> 00:53:17,011 Clutterbuck's a big man. He could make a star out of me. 349 00:53:17,094 --> 00:53:19,304 Put the drink down and listen to me. 350 00:54:38,428 --> 00:54:41,638 - Oh I beg your pardon. - That's all right. 351 00:54:52,943 --> 00:54:55,485 - It is occupied. - Oh 352 00:55:01,159 --> 00:55:03,702 Do you speak Hindustani? 353 00:55:03,786 --> 00:55:05,873 No. 354 00:55:15,633 --> 00:55:17,716 Oh excuse me, please. 355 00:56:30,288 --> 00:56:32,375 Hey. Close the door, man. 356 00:57:02,404 --> 00:57:06,742 - Look. I told the general, you'd sing. - Well I'd rather not do it tonight. 357 00:57:06,823 --> 00:57:09,369 Why not? 358 00:57:09,454 --> 00:57:13,039 - The orchestra is gone. - There's a guitar. Do you play the guitar? 359 00:57:13,122 --> 00:57:16,001 - Yes. - Then you play the guitar and you sing. 360 00:57:16,084 --> 00:57:18,209 Hey, waiter. Come over here. 361 00:57:18,294 --> 00:57:22,841 You're going to be a smash. Don't worry about a thing. 362 00:57:22,925 --> 00:57:25,260 See that guitar? Go and get it. 363 00:57:25,343 --> 00:57:27,428 Get the guitar. 364 00:58:17,687 --> 00:58:20,607 ♪ Nothing to lose. 365 00:58:20,691 --> 00:58:24,986 ♪ If we are wise 366 00:58:25,071 --> 00:58:31,285 ♪ We're not expecting rainbow-colored skies 367 00:58:33,078 --> 00:58:35,580 ♪ Not right away. 368 00:58:39,544 --> 00:58:42,337 ♪ Nothing to lose. 369 00:58:42,671 --> 00:58:46,589 ♪ It might be fun. 370 00:58:46,924 --> 00:58:53,057 ♪ No talk of spending lifetimes in the sun 371 00:58:55,058 --> 00:58:58,354 ♪ Although we may. 372 00:58:59,272 --> 00:59:02,232 ♪ Both you and I have seen 373 00:59:02,316 --> 00:59:06,653 ♪ What time can do. 374 00:59:07,946 --> 00:59:10,950 ♪ We'll only hurt ourselves 375 00:59:11,033 --> 00:59:16,871 ♪ If we build dreams that don't come true. 376 00:59:18,874 --> 00:59:21,709 ♪ What can we lose? 377 00:59:21,794 --> 00:59:26,006 ♪ We know the score. 378 00:59:26,089 --> 00:59:29,303 ♪ Let's wait before we talk 379 00:59:29,594 --> 00:59:32,471 ♪ Of evermore. 380 00:59:33,850 --> 00:59:37,602 ♪ One day we may. 381 00:59:38,145 --> 00:59:41,105 ♪ Nothing to lose 382 00:59:41,190 --> 00:59:45,442 ♪ But much to gain if love 383 00:59:45,694 --> 00:59:50,030 ♪ Decides to stay. 384 00:59:55,537 --> 00:59:58,414 ♪ Both you and I have seen 385 00:59:58,499 --> 01:00:02,959 ♪ What time can do. 386 01:00:04,087 --> 01:00:07,130 ♪ We'll only hurt ourselves 387 01:00:07,216 --> 01:00:13,428 ♪ If we build dreams that don't come true. 388 01:00:14,972 --> 01:00:17,974 ♪ What can we lose? 389 01:00:18,059 --> 01:00:21,727 ♪ We know the score. 390 01:00:22,271 --> 01:00:25,689 ♪ Let's wait before we talk 391 01:00:25,776 --> 01:00:27,861 ♪ Of evermore. 392 01:00:29,988 --> 01:00:33,325 ♪ One day we may. 393 01:00:34,327 --> 01:00:37,247 ♪ Nothing to lose 394 01:00:37,331 --> 01:00:41,624 ♪ But much to gain if love 395 01:00:41,707 --> 01:00:46,419 ♪ Decides to stay. 396 01:00:47,465 --> 01:00:50,383 ♪ Nothing to lose. 397 01:01:08,777 --> 01:01:11,654 - Well how do you like her, general? - Great! 398 01:01:11,737 --> 01:01:15,406 - How about you, Bernie? - I think, she's really great. 399 01:01:35,847 --> 01:01:40,434 All right. You win, partener. You win. 400 01:01:41,145 --> 01:01:47,233 I'm telling you, he thought you were terrific. He was very impressed 401 01:01:47,317 --> 01:01:52,362 so tomorrow's test will be just a formality. We want to see what you look like on film. 402 01:01:52,447 --> 01:01:56,074 Trust me. Here... we can talk. It's a little quieter in here. 403 01:01:56,159 --> 01:01:59,743 - Oh Charlie, this is the bedroom! - Ah it is the bedroom! 404 01:01:59,828 --> 01:02:02,453 - Come on, baby. - Why don't we go back downstairs? 405 01:02:02,539 --> 01:02:06,665 There's too much noise. Let's sit on the bed. 406 01:02:06,750 --> 01:02:09,627 Let's sit down. That's it. That's a good girl. 407 01:02:12,758 --> 01:02:15,843 - Charlie. Please, don't do that. - Just one little kiss! 408 01:02:15,926 --> 01:02:18,011 Charlie... 409 01:02:20,390 --> 01:02:22,683 - Give me my gun. - Thank you, partner. 410 01:02:23,769 --> 01:02:27,064 - Where are you going? - Attention! 411 01:02:29,150 --> 01:02:31,233 Just forget it. 412 01:02:32,943 --> 01:02:35,028 Charlie 413 01:02:37,906 --> 01:02:40,491 Knock it off and hit the sack. 414 01:02:49,500 --> 01:02:51,584 Cookie 415 01:07:26,235 --> 01:07:29,362 Who's in the head? 416 01:08:24,044 --> 01:08:26,129 Help. 417 01:08:29,551 --> 01:08:32,802 Please. Come and help. There's someone in the pool. 418 01:08:32,887 --> 01:08:35,012 - What can I do for you? - Hurry up. 419 01:08:35,097 --> 01:08:38,266 - Oh hey, little buddy. - American aid, partener! 420 01:08:38,517 --> 01:08:41,811 Great night for a dip! That fellow has a heap of jollies... 421 01:08:41,896 --> 01:08:44,230 - He's drowning. - He's drowning? 422 01:08:44,313 --> 01:08:46,648 Hrundi, are you drowning? 423 01:08:46,898 --> 01:08:50,154 Great leaping pollywogs! That little girl's got spunk! 424 01:08:50,237 --> 01:08:54,324 Get him, girl. Grab him by the wigwam. I'll wait right here for you. 425 01:08:54,409 --> 01:08:57,368 Come on, honey. Bring him over here. 426 01:08:57,453 --> 01:08:59,537 Get hold of him. 427 01:09:19,558 --> 01:09:24,395 Bartender, we've been fishing and caught ourselves a little Indian. 428 01:09:24,480 --> 01:09:27,067 - Oh no. I don't drink. - Come on. 429 01:09:27,149 --> 01:09:31,068 - It'll do you good, partner. - Right down the old hatch. 430 01:09:31,154 --> 01:09:36,072 There you go. That'll straighten you right out. You'll feel better. 431 01:09:36,157 --> 01:09:40,787 - Just a little bit more. - There you go. How about a little more... 432 01:09:40,871 --> 01:09:43,998 - No. I'm perfectly all right. - Good! 433 01:09:45,416 --> 01:09:47,836 It looks like little buddy went 'bye-'bye. 434 01:09:52,590 --> 01:09:55,260 The poor darling! I'm so sorry. You stay there and 435 01:09:55,345 --> 01:10:00,224 Well I don't know what we can do but perhaps we can at least dry it out for you. 436 01:10:00,309 --> 01:10:02,390 Oh dear! Honestly... 437 01:10:03,644 --> 01:10:07,980 Come in. Your tie looks like a salamander's tongue that got stepped on. 438 01:10:08,233 --> 01:10:09,943 - Hiya, honey. - Is he all right? 439 01:10:10,027 --> 01:10:12,653 He's just a little wet. Have you got some dry duds? 440 01:10:12,738 --> 01:10:17,242 Surely. I'll get something of Fred's. 441 01:10:18,077 --> 01:10:20,202 Here, darling... Put this on him. 442 01:10:20,287 --> 01:10:24,081 - Now you get out of those wet clothes. - I love the wet clothes. 443 01:10:24,166 --> 01:10:27,001 Thank you for a marvellous party. Whoa! 444 01:10:29,212 --> 01:10:33,800 Fred, darling, I had to loan him your terry. He's soaking wet. This is hers, not his. 445 01:10:33,885 --> 01:10:37,720 Oh darling, do hurry because the Russians will be here any minute. 446 01:10:37,805 --> 01:10:41,184 - The Russians? - The dancers, darling, the ballet. 447 01:10:47,397 --> 01:10:49,940 - Come on, sidekick. - No. 448 01:10:52,236 --> 01:10:54,151 Kelso, would you mind 449 01:10:54,236 --> 01:10:56,570 - What are you doing? - I am not doing anything. 450 01:10:56,655 --> 01:10:59,575 - You're wetting the bed. - I am not wetting the bed. 451 01:10:59,659 --> 01:11:02,035 My clothes are wetting the bed. 452 01:11:02,120 --> 01:11:06,624 - This is the big chief here. - Oh. "Big chief speak with forked tongue!" 453 01:11:06,709 --> 01:11:09,959 Partener... he's a TV partener. 454 01:11:10,044 --> 01:11:14,423 - I'll hold him. You get his pants down. - All right. 455 01:11:14,508 --> 01:11:18,762 - Come here, lovely man. I love you. - I've got something dry over here. 456 01:11:22,473 --> 01:11:25,058 Here, Wild Bill. You take off your coat... 457 01:11:26,687 --> 01:11:28,771 No. 458 01:11:29,147 --> 01:11:31,650 Oh no, Wild Bill. No. 459 01:11:39,449 --> 01:11:45,203 - Get up off the floor. - I've got him. A slippery little creature, isn't he? 460 01:11:46,957 --> 01:11:49,749 - Oh you naughty man! - Here... Put this on. 461 01:11:50,501 --> 01:11:52,586 - Put these on. - Why? 462 01:11:52,669 --> 01:11:55,922 Can you handle him? I have to go downstairs. Take care of it. 463 01:11:56,007 --> 01:11:58,507 - I'll handle it. - Wild Bill, why do you want... 464 01:11:58,760 --> 01:12:03,430 - Little sidekick, put these dry clothes on. - All right. I will put them on. 465 01:12:03,515 --> 01:12:08,226 Good idea! I've got to get downstairs before Conchita cools off. 466 01:12:08,311 --> 01:12:12,773 You come down with wet clothes on, and I'll stomp you and the horse you ride in on. 467 01:12:12,858 --> 01:12:15,359 - Got that? - Buddy... partner buddy... 468 01:12:15,443 --> 01:12:18,111 I'll see you, little buddy. 469 01:12:18,196 --> 01:12:22,073 Oh you got me right in the pantaloons, partener! 470 01:12:22,157 --> 01:12:25,535 Adios. Hold on, Conchita. I'm coming. 471 01:12:25,620 --> 01:12:27,705 Adios, partener. 472 01:12:28,581 --> 01:12:30,666 Oh no... 473 01:14:13,810 --> 01:14:15,897 Hello. 474 01:14:19,275 --> 01:14:21,193 Hello. 475 01:14:21,277 --> 01:14:23,862 You are having some difficulty? 476 01:14:24,698 --> 01:14:26,782 No. 477 01:14:28,160 --> 01:14:30,244 Are you sure? 478 01:14:33,665 --> 01:14:35,750 Well... 479 01:14:36,543 --> 01:14:38,627 - Excuse me. - Yes. 480 01:14:50,390 --> 01:14:54,560 You know that I don't think you are being entirely honest with me? 481 01:14:56,605 --> 01:14:58,688 No. 482 01:14:59,359 --> 01:15:01,442 Ah 483 01:15:09,658 --> 01:15:11,741 We have a saying in India. 484 01:15:16,040 --> 01:15:18,125 - Yes? - Yes. 485 01:15:20,210 --> 01:15:23,464 - Well... - Well what? 486 01:15:29,554 --> 01:15:33,558 You were saying something about a saying... 487 01:15:34,143 --> 01:15:35,810 Oh yes. 488 01:15:37,855 --> 01:15:40,439 What is it? 489 01:15:46,363 --> 01:15:49,824 "Wisdom is the province of the aged" 490 01:15:51,786 --> 01:15:55,621 "but the heart of a child is pure." 491 01:15:58,666 --> 01:16:01,417 That's very pretty. 492 01:16:02,334 --> 01:16:05,463 I'm not sure I know what it means. 493 01:16:06,340 --> 01:16:08,968 Neither do I. 494 01:16:11,471 --> 01:16:13,847 What does it have to do with me? 495 01:16:14,891 --> 01:16:17,851 Well it has everything to do with you. 496 01:16:17,936 --> 01:16:21,646 - For one thing it stops you crying. - It's true. 497 01:16:21,731 --> 01:16:24,107 I feel better. Thank you very much. 498 01:16:24,193 --> 01:16:28,361 - Don't thank me. Thank my saying. - Thank you, saying. 499 01:16:29,448 --> 01:16:31,908 - Do you want to hear another saying? - Yes. 500 01:16:31,991 --> 01:16:35,077 This is a good one because it will help you to remember 501 01:16:35,162 --> 01:16:37,747 how many days there are in each month. 502 01:16:37,832 --> 01:16:42,417 "30 days have September, October, June and February." 503 01:16:42,502 --> 01:16:47,797 "All the rest got 29 except my brother, who got 6 months." 504 01:16:51,842 --> 01:16:55,260 Aha! Just what I thought! 505 01:16:55,345 --> 01:16:57,429 I've been looking all over for you. 506 01:16:57,514 --> 01:17:00,723 - Get your clothes. We're going to leave. - I don't think so. 507 01:17:00,808 --> 01:17:05,270 Look. You came with me. You're going to leave with me. Now get your clothes. 508 01:17:05,354 --> 01:17:08,065 - No. - Don't say "no" to me. Now get your stuff. 509 01:17:08,148 --> 01:17:10,192 - Go on. - Mr Divot, please... 510 01:17:10,277 --> 01:17:14,406 - Just stay out of this, buddy. - If she wishes to remain, that is her right. 511 01:17:14,657 --> 01:17:19,036 - Just who do you think you are? - In India, we know who we are. 512 01:17:19,120 --> 01:17:22,121 - You're Meshuga! - I am not your sugar. 513 01:17:23,459 --> 01:17:26,670 Baby, you decide. Do you want to come with me or stay with this guy? 514 01:17:26,754 --> 01:17:29,922 - I want to stay. - You're going to stay with him? 515 01:17:30,005 --> 01:17:31,758 OK. 516 01:17:31,840 --> 01:17:34,844 Nobody ever does this to me. Do you hear that? 517 01:17:34,928 --> 01:17:40,308 And forget about that test! You're finished in this business before you even start. 518 01:17:44,354 --> 01:17:47,732 Well that was a short career, wasn't it! 519 01:17:49,650 --> 01:17:52,194 Oh don't worry about that. 520 01:17:53,946 --> 01:17:57,784 I'd better find something to put on and call a cab. 521 01:17:57,868 --> 01:18:00,494 No. Don't call a cab. Stay at the party 522 01:18:00,578 --> 01:18:03,830 and after, I'll take you home in my three-wheeler Morgan. 523 01:18:03,914 --> 01:18:06,833 - No. That would be nice, but I can't stay. - Why not? 524 01:18:06,918 --> 01:18:11,548 Well I got myself into a funny situation. 525 01:18:11,632 --> 01:18:14,301 - What, with old Divot? - Yes. 526 01:18:14,386 --> 01:18:16,552 Is that why you were crying? 527 01:18:16,637 --> 01:18:20,098 - Yes. It's not really his fault. - He's a terrible man. 528 01:18:20,351 --> 01:18:22,976 Please stay. Let's have a wonderful time. 529 01:18:23,061 --> 01:18:25,813 I'd love to, really but I have nothing to wear. 530 01:18:25,896 --> 01:18:31,444 That's no problem. They have millions of clothes here. Anyway I've got an idea. 531 01:18:37,867 --> 01:18:41,661 - Who goes there? - Shh! Mr Bakshi and a damsel in distress. 532 01:18:41,786 --> 01:18:45,747 - What do you want? - Well you look like a man of the world. 533 01:18:45,831 --> 01:18:48,750 This poor lady is urgently in need of some dry clothing 534 01:18:48,835 --> 01:18:51,711 and I perceive that you are both about the same size. 535 01:21:23,909 --> 01:21:25,493 Marvellous! Just marvellous! 536 01:21:25,576 --> 01:21:28,411 Everyone, let's toast our wonderful friends. 537 01:21:57,232 --> 01:21:59,483 - We need to move the bar. - What? 538 01:21:59,567 --> 01:22:02,778 - We have to move the bar. - Oh I know how to do that. I'll do it. 539 01:22:02,862 --> 01:22:05,072 Oh no. I'd rather 540 01:22:05,156 --> 01:22:06,949 Fred, stop him. 541 01:22:51,745 --> 01:22:53,830 Oh Fred 542 01:23:02,923 --> 01:23:05,425 - Come on. - Molly, are you sure, it's all right? 543 01:23:05,507 --> 01:23:09,137 - Yes. Will you please come? - But your mother is having a party. 544 01:23:09,221 --> 01:23:13,933 - What better time to shake them up? - You've done some stupid things but... 545 01:23:34,578 --> 01:23:35,828 Hi. 546 01:23:44,798 --> 01:23:48,134 - Hello, mom. - Darling, weren't you out protesting? 547 01:23:48,217 --> 01:23:50,427 It's a love-in. Meet some of my friends. 548 01:23:50,510 --> 01:23:53,639 I can't now, darling. I've got all these wet Russians 549 01:23:53,808 --> 01:23:56,351 but I'll come back and meet your friends. 550 01:23:56,434 --> 01:23:58,643 Oh there they are... over there. 551 01:24:08,281 --> 01:24:12,283 - General, your wife just fell in the pool. - Get her jewellery. 552 01:24:15,329 --> 01:24:18,455 - Molly, what was that? - An elephant. 553 01:24:18,539 --> 01:24:22,168 - An ele... - Yes. You don't have to be so shaken up. 554 01:24:22,628 --> 01:24:25,088 Molly, how could you do such a dreadful thing! 555 01:24:25,339 --> 01:24:28,424 - I didn't mean to offend you. - Now listen here, young lady. 556 01:24:28,509 --> 01:24:31,595 You get that elephant out of this house at once. 557 01:24:43,274 --> 01:24:44,775 - Hello. - Hello. 558 01:24:44,859 --> 01:24:47,359 - How are you? - Fine. Is this your elephant? 559 01:24:47,444 --> 01:24:51,113 - Yes. This is Jongo. - You've done a proper paint job on this. 560 01:24:51,363 --> 01:24:53,573 - You should be ashamed of yourself. - Why? 561 01:24:53,657 --> 01:24:55,617 This is a symbol of my country. 562 01:24:55,702 --> 01:25:00,247 - Don't you paint them in India? - Yes, but we don't paint slogans on them. 563 01:25:00,332 --> 01:25:02,791 He's got "The world is flat" on his forehead 564 01:25:02,876 --> 01:25:07,046 "Socrates eats hemlock" on the side and "Go naked" all over his bum. 565 01:25:07,131 --> 01:25:11,635 - We didn't mean to be disrespectful. - But it's humiliating. They know. 566 01:25:11,720 --> 01:25:14,636 How would you like it if an Indian person came along 567 01:25:14,721 --> 01:25:18,640 and drew a moustache on your ladybirds! It's the same thing, isn't it? 568 01:25:18,725 --> 01:25:22,813 - I'm awfully sorry. What should we do? - Get some water and wash it off. 569 01:25:22,895 --> 01:25:25,524 Wash it. Scrub it. Get it off. Hose it off 570 01:25:25,774 --> 01:25:28,859 Hey, gang. We're going to wash the elephant. 571 01:26:12,696 --> 01:26:14,531 How many times have I got to tell you! 572 01:26:14,784 --> 01:26:18,744 You aren't ever going to find anything in here, half as sweet as I am. 573 01:26:28,754 --> 01:26:30,964 Take it outside. Come on. Let's go. 574 01:26:40,430 --> 01:26:43,184 No. You fainted. Come on. 575 01:27:00,658 --> 01:27:04,037 All right. Everybody out! 576 01:27:21,974 --> 01:27:24,641 Wash it off. Take it all off. 577 01:27:25,185 --> 01:27:27,270 "Bakshi"! 578 01:27:29,897 --> 01:27:33,525 I knew, I knew that guy. I knew it! 579 01:27:40,992 --> 01:27:43,701 Hello... Buckercult 580 01:27:43,787 --> 01:27:46,706 I want to talk to the general. This is C.S. Divot. 581 01:27:47,916 --> 01:27:50,209 No. You can't just 582 01:27:50,419 --> 01:27:53,588 What's going on there? 583 01:27:57,634 --> 01:27:59,720 A bit on the ear 584 01:28:01,929 --> 01:28:05,474 Do you believe that child of mine... bringing home an elephant! 585 01:28:05,559 --> 01:28:07,184 - They're dirty. - Oh really! 586 01:28:10,857 --> 01:28:13,817 All right. Enough! 587 01:28:13,902 --> 01:28:18,405 We'll take him outside now and wash all the soap off. 588 01:28:42,471 --> 01:28:45,722 What do you suppose that awful racket is? I'll be right back. 589 01:28:45,974 --> 01:28:48,142 - I'm not finished. - I've got to see. 590 01:28:48,226 --> 01:28:50,392 God only knows what's happening now! 591 01:28:57,484 --> 01:28:59,569 Mom, what are you doing? 592 01:29:03,951 --> 01:29:06,994 You and I have got to find someplace to be alone. 593 01:29:07,287 --> 01:29:09,372 Get up. 594 01:29:12,084 --> 01:29:13,751 Save the paintings. 595 01:29:25,056 --> 01:29:27,139 Mom, are you all right? 596 01:29:36,484 --> 01:29:39,319 Get the paintings. Don't just stand there. 597 01:29:40,237 --> 01:29:44,699 We're certainly having a lot of trouble. 598 01:29:44,782 --> 01:29:49,370 I just never, ever in all my life... I just never... 599 01:30:11,060 --> 01:30:14,603 Not that one, you idiot! Just the good stuff! Put it back. 600 01:31:13,206 --> 01:31:15,833 We've got to get rid of it. Turn on the air conditioning. 601 01:31:15,918 --> 01:31:20,588 - I'll never make it. - There's a control in the master bedroom. 602 01:31:28,887 --> 01:31:35,725 ♪ The party gets groovy and everyone here loses control, yes. 603 01:31:36,976 --> 01:31:42,983 ♪ Our minds fly away. As the band starts to play, we rock and roll. 604 01:31:43,233 --> 01:31:45,068 ♪ Come on, baby. Listen to me here now. 605 01:31:45,318 --> 01:31:48,822 ♪ No time for meditations! 606 01:31:49,115 --> 01:31:52,826 ♪ Just feel the wild vibrations. 607 01:31:53,117 --> 01:31:56,453 ♪ We'll learn some new sensations 608 01:31:56,538 --> 01:31:59,456 ♪ Tonight 609 01:31:59,541 --> 01:32:03,420 ♪ All night long 610 01:32:03,670 --> 01:32:06,924 ♪ All night long 611 01:32:07,007 --> 01:32:08,424 ♪ Yes. 612 01:32:21,107 --> 01:32:27,237 ♪ The party goes crazy as we see the night turn into day, yes. 613 01:32:28,866 --> 01:32:35,036 ♪ And that's when you find your inhibited mind is blown away. 614 01:32:35,121 --> 01:32:37,080 ♪ Come on, baby. Listen to me here now. 615 01:32:37,165 --> 01:32:41,167 ♪ We'll swing till we're insane here. 616 01:32:41,251 --> 01:32:45,130 ♪ Easy to blow your brain here! 617 01:32:45,214 --> 01:32:48,633 ♪ That's why we'll all remain here 618 01:32:48,718 --> 01:32:51,509 ♪ Tonight 619 01:32:51,678 --> 01:32:55,432 ♪ All night long 620 01:32:55,848 --> 01:32:59,562 ♪ All night long 621 01:32:59,771 --> 01:33:03,315 ♪ All night long 622 01:33:03,856 --> 01:33:07,066 ♪ All night long 623 01:33:19,413 --> 01:33:22,498 - Just a minute, sir. - I'm C.S. Divot, the producer. 624 01:33:22,583 --> 01:33:27,171 I'm a friend of Mr Clutterbuck's. I've got to tell him something right away. 625 01:33:27,756 --> 01:33:30,341 Hey. What's with the ambulance? 626 01:33:30,426 --> 01:33:32,508 Hey. What's with the ambulance? 627 01:33:34,887 --> 01:33:37,431 Hey. Let's go and struggle in the straw, huh? 628 01:33:39,015 --> 01:33:41,268 What, the hell is going on around here? 629 01:33:41,353 --> 01:33:43,519 Argh! 630 01:33:43,604 --> 01:33:47,898 - Do you believe it? The party isn't over yet. - Hey, general. 631 01:33:47,983 --> 01:33:50,068 I don't even know how it got started. 632 01:33:50,152 --> 01:33:53,029 - We've got to do a report. - I'll talk to the governor. 633 01:33:53,113 --> 01:33:56,658 - I've got to tell you something. - It was crazy. You should have seen it! 634 01:33:56,742 --> 01:34:00,247 - Alice, baby, do you feel better? - Oh I'm fine. 635 01:34:00,331 --> 01:34:04,626 - I'm going to be in the aquacade. - That's nice. Don't drop her. 636 01:34:04,710 --> 01:34:08,546 Congressman and Mrs Dunphy, I don't know how to tell you 637 01:34:08,631 --> 01:34:12,425 It's quite all right. Call me if there's anything I can do. 638 01:34:20,434 --> 01:34:22,520 Mr Clutterbuck 639 01:34:23,978 --> 01:34:26,731 may I apologize to you for the discomfort 640 01:34:26,982 --> 01:34:29,483 - It's all right. - General, it's him! 641 01:34:29,567 --> 01:34:31,485 - Who? - Bakshi! 642 01:34:31,569 --> 01:34:34,946 He's the idiot who blew up the location! 643 01:34:35,531 --> 01:34:37,615 You've got the wrong guy. 644 01:34:45,040 --> 01:34:50,044 Hey, little buddy. Hold on. Here's one of my old Stetsons. It just fits. 645 01:34:50,129 --> 01:34:53,839 And here's an autographed picture of me and my horse Fang. 646 01:35:04,854 --> 01:35:07,814 ♪ Nothing to lose 647 01:35:07,897 --> 01:35:12,192 ♪ If we are wise. 648 01:35:12,278 --> 01:35:19,240 ♪ We're not expecting rainbow-colored skies 649 01:35:20,369 --> 01:35:23,495 ♪ Not right away. 650 01:35:26,833 --> 01:35:29,793 ♪ Nothing to lose. 651 01:35:29,878 --> 01:35:34,132 ♪ It might be fun. 652 01:35:34,216 --> 01:35:40,138 ♪ No talk of spending lifetimes in the sun. 653 01:35:42,391 --> 01:35:45,184 Well, this is where I live. 654 01:35:45,268 --> 01:35:47,352 It's a beautiful home. 655 01:35:48,896 --> 01:35:52,607 I would ask you to come up but it's a little late 656 01:35:52,691 --> 01:35:54,776 or early... I don't know. 657 01:35:56,028 --> 01:35:59,365 Anyway I have to get back to feed Apu. 658 01:35:59,909 --> 01:36:01,450 - Apu? - My monkey. 659 01:36:01,534 --> 01:36:03,285 Oh 660 01:36:03,579 --> 01:36:07,040 It's a lovely name... for a monkey anyway. 661 01:36:07,625 --> 01:36:10,919 - He's used to it by now anyway. - Good! 662 01:36:13,839 --> 01:36:18,592 I would like to say that I enjoyed myself very much last night. 663 01:36:18,676 --> 01:36:20,636 I did too, very much. 664 01:36:20,719 --> 01:36:23,513 Especially I thought your song was very beautiful. 665 01:36:23,763 --> 01:36:25,806 - You did? - Yes. 666 01:36:25,890 --> 01:36:27,974 Thank you. 667 01:36:31,771 --> 01:36:33,773 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. 668 01:36:33,856 --> 01:36:35,858 Oh. Here's your hat. 669 01:36:36,693 --> 01:36:39,821 Oh look... You keep it. 670 01:36:39,946 --> 01:36:41,864 But you may need it. 671 01:36:42,449 --> 01:36:44,575 No. I'd like you to keep it. 672 01:36:46,328 --> 01:36:47,495 All right. 673 01:36:47,745 --> 01:36:50,498 If you should want it or need it sometimes... 674 01:36:50,582 --> 01:36:55,543 Well... if I need it, I could always come perhaps and pick it up. 675 01:36:56,588 --> 01:36:58,297 That would be very nice. 676 01:36:58,382 --> 01:37:01,968 When would you be available for me to pick up my hat? 677 01:37:02,052 --> 01:37:06,263 Well maybe next week. 678 01:37:06,765 --> 01:37:09,184 - I'll come and get it then. - OK. 679 01:37:09,270 --> 01:37:13,479 - I would love to have my hat back. - Goodbye. 54260

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