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at age 18 i had to make a difficult
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decision should i follow my mom's
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footsteps and try to become a scientist
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or marry my handsome but extremely
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insecure boyfriend well as you will find
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out i made the wrong choice but maybe
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you can learn from my mistake ever since
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i was young my mom was my biggest role
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model i used to watch her at home
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working on complicated science problems
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for her laboratory i wanted to impress
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her and used to lie down next to her
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reading the most challenging books i
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could find like niches beyond good and
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evil then later while at dinner i'd
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summarize the books to her it's fair to
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say that i've inherited my mom's passion
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for science one time for example we had
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a one week power outage at our home so i
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picked up a book from my school library
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about generators and built a vertical
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axis windmill generator that i connected
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to a battery it took a whole month to
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build and by then we already had
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electricity again but i was still
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excited to show it to my mom i asked her
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to come to the garden where i had put a
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curtain over my little creation i lifted
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it up and showed her my generator which
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was connected to her coffee machine she
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pushed the start button the coffee maker
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started going and i could see just how
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impressed she was when the coffee was
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ready she took a sip and even told me
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that it was the best coffee she had ever
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tasted but while my family was
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supportive of my passions school was
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different i really wanted to get perfect
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grades so one day i could get into an
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ivy league university just like my mom
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did and honestly in most subjects i
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could get straight a's without studying
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at all however when i like always was
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the only one in class to raise their
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hand the other kids would make fun of me
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especially kylie my arch nemesis she
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wasn't just mean but actually also quite
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funny she once said to me i know you're
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desperately trying to be smart like
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hermione from harry potter but honestly
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you remind me more of ron weasley
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everyone laughed and i was so offended
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by what she had said that in the next
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physics exam i gave the right answers to
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everyone in our class except kylie this
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was my revenge and she actually ended up
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with a d while everyone else got an a or
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b our teacher of course realized that
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the majority of kids in our class had
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cheated somehow to get such good grades
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that's why he went over to kylie and
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said not only do you lack any
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understanding of physics but you're also
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the only one in class who doesn't know
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how to cheat everyone laughed at her but
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it turns out that it's rarely a good
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idea to attack someone more popular or
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powerful than you because now kylie
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hated me more than ever that same day in
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pe class we were supposed to play tag
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and kylie was it and supposed to chase
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the rest of us like the other girls i
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ran yelling and laughing but when kylie
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came close to me she stopped looked at
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me and said you do understand that no
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one likes you right ouch she'd hit my
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weak spot it really hurt to be singled
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out again luckily i did have one friend
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in my ear we normally met up on fridays
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to watch a movie or do a picnic but one
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time she told me i can't today i have to
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get ready for the big school party
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didn't you get invited no
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oh well don't worry about it you're just
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easily forgotten
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i guess she thought that saying you were
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easily forgotten was a nicer way of
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saying nobody likes you but it still
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hurts so much and apparently she made
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lots of new friends on that party
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because afterward my only friend never
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wanted to hang out with me again the
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final straw must have been when my music
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teacher asked me to sing in front of her
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class i told him i'd prefer not to do it
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because i was shy but he told me i'd get
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a bad grade if i didn't so i went in
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front of the class and started singing i
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didn't think it was that bad but the
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teacher immediately screwed up his face
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in pain and held his hands over his ears
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that's why all my classmates burst out
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laughing at me now i know the teacher
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just wanted to make a joke and maybe if
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i hadn't been so insecure it would have
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been fine but he destroyed the last bit
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of confidence i had left after that i
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never raised my arm in class again i was
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so unhappy that i finally ended up
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transferring to a new school to have a
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new start and it worked when i arrived
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the only free chair was in the last row
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next to a really good looking boy called
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miguel i sat down next to him and he
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immediately started telling me how much
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he hated math i responded actually i
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like math there is no better feeling
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than solving a hard math problem twitchy
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said wow i just met you and i already
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don't like you at this point in my life
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i was so insecure that his words
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instantly made me cry however he didn't
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mean to hurt me so he added don't worry
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i was just joking why don't you come by
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my house today i just got an electric
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guitar
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wow was this my lucky day a pretty guy
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wanted to spend time with me i accepted
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his invitation and later that day we
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hung out in his room for the first 20
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minutes miguel tried to put the cable
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into the right plug but failed did i
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mention he wasn't that smart when i gave
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him a suggestion he responded stop
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ordering me around i know what i'm doing
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wow he was so insecure
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and then i learned why he called his dad
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to his room and told him dad that guitar
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you bought me doesn't work it's broken
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did you turn on the speakers miguel
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turned completely red realizing he had
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forgotten to turn the speakers on his
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dad added so you're still a well
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maybe i can knock up your mom another
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time and have more luck with my next
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child wow i was shocked his dad didn't
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seem to care how much he was hurting his
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son i tried to change the topic and said
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so miguel what's your favorite subject
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in school by the way who cares about
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school only idiots get a degree once i'm
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18 i'll become a salesman and make lots
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of money that actually wasn't such a bad
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idea because miguel was outgoing and
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popular i knew he would make a great
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salesman however i disagreed that
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getting a degree was useless so i told
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him i really like school and i hope to
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get a phd one day in chemistry i always
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get straight a's often without even
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studying really i could see how
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impressed he was and realized that me
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being smarter than him was what could
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make me interesting to him
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subconsciously he probably knew he
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wasn't smart enough to be good in school
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but having a brilliant girlfriend could
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be some kind of substitute so even
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though he was much better looking than
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me we started dating and after each exam
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i showed him my grade to impress him and
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show i wasn't such a bad catch after all
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that was a mistake though i misjudged
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just how insecure he was about his
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intelligence because a few weeks later
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he was so fed up with my constant
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bragging that he said it was over
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between us he didn't want to date a nerd
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like me anymore and i immediately
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started crying he added no guy wants to
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date a girl that always tries to outdo
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him i realized i'd made a mistake by
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showing off with my grades so much so i
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apologized and promised to become a
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better girlfriend he ended up giving me
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another chance and i still can't believe
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what i did next just for him i started
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getting bad grades in school on purpose
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you see miguel was a quite
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family-oriented guy he often told me
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about wanting to have loads of children
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so i didn't mind if he wanted me to be
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his housewife and become a mother i
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actually liked the idea the only one not
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happy with my decision to basically
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throw away my academic career with my
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mom i was 18 and she couldn't understand
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why i didn't go to college
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so what will you do instead she asked
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miguel and i will save some money get
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married and have children as soon as
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possible and as many as we can but
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you're only 18. why not have children
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after college i was too embarrassed to
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tell her the truth that miguel simply
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didn't want me to go to college and that
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i was afraid of losing him so i lied to
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my mom and said i just really prefer to
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become a mother and have a family mom
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ended up respecting my decision and when
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miguel got his first job soon after we
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moved into our own apartment it was
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exciting to be in a serious relationship
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at such a young age we made long-term
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plans and even though miguel didn't want
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me to get a job with lots of career
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opportunities because he argued that
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they would distract me from being a good
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mother he still allowed me to give
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private tutor lessons to children as a
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side job or at least until i became
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pregnant becoming a mother at 19 was
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very exciting because for the first time
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in my life i felt like a real adult and
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miguel despite his insecurities and
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flaws was a loving husband and father
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things were good until i fell pregnant
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with our second child at age 21 taking
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care of both a baby and a toddler is
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incredibly exhausting and to be honest
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today i regret to not have gone to
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university i would have been one of the
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top students and looked forward to a
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great career it would have been an
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easier life however i recently mentioned
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to miguel that i was thinking about
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getting an engineering degree from an
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online college meaning i could study
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from home while taking care of our kids
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he just got a promotion at his job so i
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thought he might be less insecure about
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me starting my own career but he
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responded saying that i should wait
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until our kids are grown up before i
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neglect my duties as a mother to be
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honest he might be right though at the
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moment our children have to come first
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i'm sure when the time is right he'll
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let me go get a good education because i
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know he loves me
19115
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