Original subtitles

PREVIOUSLY ON...

VICTOR MADE HIMSELF PERFECTLY CLEAR.

WHENEVER I'VE TRULY WANTED SOMETHING,

I'VE ALWAYS GOTTEN IT. BREE NEEDED TO GET AWAY.

WE'RE FINALLY TAKING OUR HONEYMOON.

SUSAN COULDN'T WAIT TO POP THE QUESTION.

WILL YOU MARRY ME? (laughs)

LYNETTE RECEIVED SHOCKING NEWS.

YOU CAN SEE THIS-- IT COULD BE LYMPHOMA.

WHY ARE YOU SO RELUCTANT TO MAKE A COMMITMENT TO ME? BECAUSE I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU.

AND EDIE... WHAT IF WE TRIED TO HAVE A BABY?

ENGAGED IN A DANGEROUS DECEPTION.

(Mary Alice) WHEN GABRIELLE SOLIS

AGREED TO MARRY VICTOR LANG,

SHE WAS DETERMINED TO HAVE A VERY TRADITIONAL WEDDING.

SHE WAS EVEN MORE DETERMINED TO BE A VERY TRADITIONAL BRIDE.

TO THAT END,

THE HANDKERCHIEF IN HER CLEAVAGE WAS BORROWED,

THE GARTER ON HER LEG WAS BLUE,

AND THE DIAMONDS ON HER EARS WERE OLD.

BUT SADLY FOR GABRIELLE, SOMETHING WAS MISSING,

AND SHE WAS ABOUT TO THROW A TRADITIONAL FIT.

IT IS AFTER 3:00!

WHERE THE HELL IS BREE WITH MY "SOMETHING NEW"?!

I KNOW HER PLANE LANDED ON TIME.

SHE'LL PROBABLY BE HERE ANY SECOND. GOD, I SHOULD HAVE MY HEAD EXAMINED

FOR EVEN AGREEING TO THIS.

WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT SWISS JEWELRY ANYWAY?

GABY, BREE WENT OUT OF HER WAY TO BUY YOU THAT BRACELET.

AND, OF COURSE, IT'S THE HOTTEST DAY OF THE YEAR.

ALL THE GUESTS ARE OUT THERE SWEATING LIKE PIGS.

GOD, AT THIS RATE, MY RECEPTION'S GONNA LOOK LIKE

THE FINISH LINE OF THE BOSTON MARATHON. IF YOU'RE THAT FREAKED OUT,

JUST GET MARRIED WITHOUT THE BRACELET.

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!

I CAN'T GET MARRIED WITHOUT MY "SOMETHING NEW."

OH, I HAVE AN IDEA. I JUST GOT A LIPSTICK YESTERDAY.

YOU COULD WEAR THAT.

I JUST PAID A MAKEUP ARTIST 500 BUCKS TO DO MY FACE.

DO YOU REALLY THINK I WANNA MARCH DOWN THE AISLE

LOOKING LIKE I JUST ATE A POPSICLE?

OKAY, IT'S YOUR BIG DAY, SO I'M GONNA LET THAT SLIDE.

GOD, IT IS 10 AFTER, AND BREE IS NEVER LATE!

WHERE CAN SHE BE?

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.

AFTER I FINISH "TSZUJING" MY HAIR,

TELL THE PREACHER IT'S SHOWTIME.

I CAN'T BELIEVE MY WEDDING'S ALREADY RUINED,

AND IT HASN'T EVEN STARTED. AAH!

HEY, I'M STARTING TO GET WORRIED ABOUT BREE.

MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL.

YEAH. I'M CALLING HER CELL.

IT'S RINGING.

(whispers) OH, GOOD.

(cell phone rings)

(ring)

(cell phone beeps) BREE!

OH, WOW!

HELLO, LADIES. (Gabrielle) IS THAT BREE?

SHE BETTER NOT HAVE COME EMPTY-HANDED!

OH, I DIDN'T.

AS PROMISED, BREE HAD ARRIVED WITH SOMETHING NEW.

HOLY CRAP!

AND SHE ALSO...

BROUGHT THE BRACELET.

FAMILY--THERE IS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT.

THEY'RE THE ONES WE WANT TO LAUGH WITH

DURING THE GOOD TIMES...

AND THE ONES WE NEED TO CONSOLE US DURING THE BAD.

AND EVEN THOUGH THE TIME COMES WHEN THEY HAVE TO LEAVE US,

THEIR VOICES STILL LINGER IN OUR MINDS.

AND SOMETIMES WE CAN'T HELP BUT LISTEN.

A TANGLED WEB-- THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WEAVING.

(moans) BEAT IT, MOTHER.

YOU REALLY THINK THIS LITTLE SCHEME OF YOURS IS GONNA WORK?

OF COURSE IT WILL.

LOOK AT HIM.

HE'S PRACTICALLY IN LOVE WITH ME ALREADY.

THAT'S BECAUSE HE THINKS YOU'RE GONNA GIVE HIM A BABY.

WAIT TILL HE FINDS OUT YOU'RE STILL ON THE PILL.

OH, SHUT UP, WOULD YOU?!

I JUST THANK THE GOOD LORD

YOUR FATHER DIDN'T LIVE TO SEE THIS.

WELL, NEITHER DID YOU.

YOU DIED ALONE IN A TRAILER PARK

WATCHING GAME SHOWS.

AND WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU?

'CAUSE I KNOW WHAT'S WAITING FOR YOU, MISSY.

THIS ONE'S GONNA LEAVE YOU LIKE ALL THE OTHERS.

YOU'RE GOING TO END UP OLD AND ALONE,

JUST LIKE I DID.

(gasps)

CARLOS?

CARLOS!

(Carlos) DOWN HERE, BABE!

(sighs)

I'M MAKING YOU A FRUIT SMOOTHIE.

(doorbell rings)

CHICKEN OR FISH?

WHAT?

I HAVEN'T GOTTEN YOUR REPLY CARD BACK YET.

SO CHICKEN OR FISH?

OH! RIGHT, YOUR WEDDING.

I CAN'T GO.

WHY NOT? I'M A JINX.

I WENT TO YOUR LAST WEDDING, AND LOOK HOW THAT TURNED OUT.

COME ON, GABY. WE BOTH KNOW IT'D BE WEIRD IF I WENT. OKAY, MAYBE A LITTLE,

BUT IT'LL BE WEIRDER IF YOU DON'T. EXCUSE ME?

LOOK, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE LIVING WITH EDIE.

IF SHE SHOWS UP ALONE,

PEOPLE WILL THINK I ASKED HER NOT TO BRING YOU,

LIKE IT BUGS ME THAT YOU GUYS ARE TOGETHER. BUT IT DOES BUG YOU.

YOU HIT THE ROOF WHEN YOU FOUND OUT.

WHICH IS WHY I HAVE TO SHOW PEOPLE THAT I'M OKAY WITH IT.

PLEASE, JUST CONSIDER IT MY WEDDING GIFT.

OKAY, BUT I'M SKIPPING THE CEREMONY.

WHAT?! AND JUST GO TO THE RECEPTION?

YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

I DON'T WANT TO MAKE A SCENE.

YOU'LL VOW, "TILL DEATH DO US PART,"

I'LL BUST OUT LAUGHING, PEOPLE WILL STARE...

RECEPTION STARTS AT 4:00.

I'M THINKING A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN

WOULD BE A COOL CENTERPIECE TO A DESSERT BUFFET.

DESSERT BUFFET?

WE'RE HAVING A WEDDING CAKE, RIGHT? ISN'T THAT DESSERT?

YEAH, BUT YOU HAVE TO GIVE PEOPLE A CHOICE.

DON'T YOU THINK A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN WOULD BE ELEGANT?

I DON'T KNOW...

YOU, A BIG WHITE DRESS, MELTED CHOCOLATE.

AM I THE ONLY ONE HEARING ALARM BELLS?

FINE, WE'LL SKIP THE CHOCOLATE.

HOW ABOUT A CHAMPAGNE FOUNTAIN? OH, I KNOW!

MAYBE WE CAN MAKE THE CHAMPAGNE FLOW THROUGH THE ICE SCULPTURE.

DON'T YOU THINK WE MIGHT BE GOING A LITTLE OVER-THE-TOP?

MIKE, THESE ARE ALL

FAIRLY STANDARD WEDDING FEATURES.

NOW YOU NAME ONE THING THAT YOU THINK

IS GOING OVER-THE-TOP.

HOW ABOUT THE DOVE WRANGLER?

WELL, THE DOVES ARE NOT GOING TO RELEASE THEMSELVES.

(laughs) DO WE REALLY NEED 40 OF 'EM?

OKAY, I KNOW THAT YOU THINK I'M BEING SILLY,

BUT ALL OF OUR FRIENDS WENT TO BREE'S WEDDING,

AND NOW THEY'RE GOING TO GABY'S.

TWO MONTHS FROM NOW,

DO WE REALLY WANT THEM THINKING OUR WASN'T AS NICE?

IT SEEMS TO ME OUR FRIENDS WOULDN'T BE THERE

TO MAKE PETTY COMPARISONS.

THEY'D BE THERE TO CELEBRATE OUR LOVE.

YOU WOULD THINK THAT, BUT NO.

COME ON. THIS IS SOMETHING

THAT WE HAVE BOTH LOOKED FORWARD TO FOR SO LONG.

DON'T YOU WANT IT TO BE PERFECT?

OH, I GUESS.

ABOUT THE DOVES, THOUGH...

WHAT?

YOU IN A WEDDING GOWN, 40 BIRDS CIRCLING OVERHEAD?

AGAIN, NOT LIKING THOSE ODDS.

OH, IT'S NOT AS BAD AS IT SOUNDS.

IT'S, UM, HODGKIN'S LYMPHOMA,

AND APPARENTLY, IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET LYMPHOMA,

THAT'S THE KIND YOU WANT. (children screaming and shouting)

HEY, YOU WANNA HOLD IT DOWN UP THERE, KIDS?

I'M TRYING TO TALK TO YOUR AUNT LUCY! THANK YOU!

ANYWAY, I KNOW I SAID

THAT WE WOULD COME AND VISIT YOU THIS JUNE,

BUT I'LL BE A LITTLE WOOZY

AND... BALD FROM THE CHEMO, SO...

AW. THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING.

OH, ONE MORE THING--

OUR INSURANCE POLICY HAS A REALLY HIGH DEDUCTIBLE,

SO WE ARE STRAPPED FINANCIALLY,

AND I WAS WONDERING IF MAYBE YOU AND DAVE

MIGHT BE ABLE TO...

OH, REALLY?

NO,I AM NOT ASKING MOM.

SHE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT ANY OF THIS,

SO DON'T YOU TELL HER, OKAY?

WE'LL BE FINE. I LOVE YOU. BYE.

(telephone beeps) I TAKE IT THAT'S A "NO" ON THE LOAN?

YEP. DAVE LOST HIS JOB AT THE PLANT,

AND HE IS NOW HANDING OUT FLYERS AT A CHICKEN RESTAURANT, AND--

PREPARE TO WINCE--

THERE IS A CHICKEN SUIT INVOLVED.

OUCH.

SO WHERE ARE WE GONNA FIND THIS $10,000?

YOU LEAVE THAT TO ME.

I WANT YOU TO FOCUS ON GETTING BETTER.

BUT, HONEY-- I WILL FIND IT.

MEANWHILE, WE'LL MAKE SOME SACRIFICES AROUND HERE.

MY TENNIS CLUB MEMBERSHIP IS UP THIS MONTH.

I'M NOT RENEWING.

SHOULD YOU EVEN BE PLAYING TENNIS AFTER YOUR BACK SURGERY?

PROBABLY NOT.

AH.

WELL, IN THAT SPIRIT,

AS SOON AS I START CHEMO, I WILL BE GIVING UP SHAMPOO.

OKAY, THANKS.

TAXI'S HERE.

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READY TO GO BACK?

WE COULD WAIT ANOTHER WEEK.

AND MISS GABY'S WEDDING? NO, I'LL BE FINE.

IS, UH, THIS THE DRESS YOU WERE THINKING FOR THE CEREMONY?

YES. OH, GOOD.

I'LL FOLD IT IN TISSUE SO IT DOESN'T WRINKLE.

OH, DARLING, I DON'T DESERVE YOU.

OH, COME ON.

WE AGREED--NO MORE TEARS.

I'M SO SORRY TO BE PUTTING YOU THROUGH THIS.

I-I WOULDN'T BLAME YOU

IF YOU RAN LIKE HELL AND NEVER LOOKED BACK.

STOP.

I'M GOING TO RAISE THIS CHILD AND LOVE IT

AS IF IT WERE MY OWN.

NOW LET'S SEE A SMILE.

WELL, I'M GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US, MILTON.

IT'S GOOD TO GET TO KNOW YOU BEFORE THE WEDDING. THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, I MUST SAY, ALL THESE MONTHS,

I THOUGHT VICTOR WAS EXAGGERATING ABOUT YOU. OH!

BUT HE HASN'T DONE YOU JUSTICE.

YOU, MY DEAR, ARE A FLAWLESS BEAUTY. (chuckles) I'M HARDLY FLAWLESS.

I'M SURE I HAVE A BLEMISH HIDDEN AWAY SOMEWHERE.

NOW THAT'S A SEARCH I WOULD RELISH. (chuckles)

SHE IS WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE, DAD. AH.

HONEY, HE'S A MULTIMILLIONAIRE. HE RUNS MY LEAGUE.

(laughs) BY THE WAY, VICTOR,

I, UH, RAN INTO KEITH PERKINSON LAST WEEK.

AND HOW IS THE VENERABLE STATE CHAIRMAN? IMPRESSED WITH YOU.

HE LIKED THE WAY YOU RAN YOUR MAYORAL CAMPAIGN,

SAID IF YOU KEEP YOUR NUMBERS UP,

HE MIGHT CONSIDER SUPPORTING YOU IN THE NEXT GOVERNOR'S RACE. REALLY?

MM-HMM.

(laughing loudly)

(chuckles) WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING, RIGHT?

I MEAN, WE JUST FINISHED A CAMPAIGN.

YOU'RE NOT ABOUT TO PUT ME THROUGH ANOTHER ONE.

BUT I THOUGHT YOU LOVED CAMPAIGNING.

GOD, NO. IT'S A COMPLETE SNORE.

PASTING A SMILE ON MY FACE

WHILE YOU SAY THE SAME SPEECH FOR THE 50th TIME?

BUT YOU WERE A NATURAL. PEOPLE LOVED YOU.

WELL, THE FEELING WASN'T MUTUAL.

YOU THINK I ENJOYED SIPPING TEA WITH THESE FRUMPY MATRONS

WHO WORE LOUD, POLYBLEND PANTSUITS?

YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I JUST WANTED TO SCREAM,

"VOTE FOR MY HUSBAND, YOU COLOR-BLIND COW!"? I THINK YOU'VE DISCOVERED

SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT ABOUT DEMOCRACY, MY DEAR--

THE NATION IS FULL OF FOOLS, AND EVERYONE GETS A VOTE.

WELL, THEY'RE NOT GONNA GET US AGAIN.

I MADE NICE WITH FAIRVIEW.

I'M NOT ABOUT TO SUCK UP TO THE WHOLE DAMN STATE. (laughs)

(hangers clattering)

MM.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

SOME GUY OUT IN MOUNT PLEASANT'S GOT A CRACKED WATER HEATER.

IT'S 3:00 IN THE MORNING.

WELL, I STARTED ADVERTISING AS A 24-HOUR PLUMBER.

AFTER MIDNIGHT, I GET TRIPLE TIME.

OKAY, WELL, THAT'S CRAZY.

YOU CAN'T WORK ROUND THE CLOCK. IT'S NOT HEALTHY.

WELL, THIS IS THE THIRD NIGHT I'VE WORKED THIS WEEK.

I'M FINE SO FAR. YOU'VE BEEN SNEAKING OUT WHILE I'VE BEEN ASLEEP?

WHAT ARE YOU, NINJA PLUMBER?

IT'S JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE, EARN SOME EXTRA MONEY.

IS THIS ABOUT THE WEDDING?

(sighs) WE AGREED WE WANT IT TO BE NICE.

BUT WE DIDN'T AGREE ONTHIS.

MAYBE I CAN SCALE THINGS BACK A BIT.

HOW? HAVE A GINGER ALE FOUNTAIN?

MAKE PAPER DOVES AND HOPE IT'S WINDY?

(chuckles) OKAY, SERIOUSLY,

YOU DON'T HAVE TO KILL YOURSELF.

I COULD MAX OUT MY CREDIT CARD.

IS THAT REALLY HOW YOU WANT TO START OUR LIFE TOGETHER--

IN DEBT?

NO, I WANNA START OUT HAPPY.

BUT CLEARLY, YOU'RE UPSET, AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

(sighs)

I'M NOT IAN.

I CAN'T AFFORD TO MOVE YOU INTO A MANSION

OR FLY YOU OFF TO PARIS,

BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF I DON'T GIVE YOU

THE SAME DREAM WEDDING HE WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU.

I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.

(doorbell rings) I'M DRAWING PICTURES OF TREES.

WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET OFF HAVING CANCER

AND NOT TELLING ME ABOUT IT?! MOM...

HOW DO YOU THINK YOU COULD HANDLE THIS WITHOUT ME?

STELLA?

OH, THERE'S MY TOMMY BOY! COME HERE!

(laughs nervously)

MMM! OH! GOD.

OH, LISTEN, BE A LOVE, WILL YOU, HONEY,

AND GET MY BAGS FROM THE CAB? BAGS? SHE'S STAYING?

YEP.

AND DO NOT TIP THE DRIVER. S.O.B. WOULDN'T LET ME SMOKE.

JEEZ,LYNETTE, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU OPENED A DAY CARE CENTER.

HEY, KIDS, GRANDMA'S HERE.

OKAY, WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM ABOUT ME?

IT'S BEEN FIVE YEARS, MOM. THEY DON'T REMEMBER YOU.

WELL, THEY'LL REMEMBER ME THIS TIME.

I BROUGHT PRESENTS. (boy) COOL!

HEY... FOR YOU,

AND... YOU,

AND YOU.

THESE ARE BABY TOYS.

WE'RE TOO OLD TO PLAY WITH THESE.

WELL, I'M TOO OLD TO REMEMBER

WHAT THE HELL 6-YEAR-OLDS LIKE TO PLAY WITH. WE'RE 8.

WHAT DO I CARE?

JUST SAY THANK YOU.

(boys, glumly) THANK YOU.

OH, WH-WHO'S THE PRETTY THING?

YOUR GIRLFRIEND?

NO!SHE'S MY SISTER!

OH.

IS THAT TOM'S LITTLE B-A-S-T-A--

OKAY, KIDS, TIME TO GET YOUR TOYS AND LET'S PLAY UPSTAIRS.

COME ON, PENNY. COME ON, SWEETIE.

LET'S GO, EVERYBODY.

LISTEN, MOM, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU COMING TO HELP,

BUT AS YOU CAN SEE, I'M PERFECTLY FINE.

(chuckles) FOR NOW.

NOW HOW YOU GONNA HANDLE THAT MOB

WHEN YOU'RE FLAT ON YOUR ASS FROM CHEMO?

I'LL MANAGE. YOU GOT THROUGH BREAST CANCER

WHILE RAISING THE THREE OF US ALONE.

(door closes) I WAS NOT ALONE.

I HAD YOU.

LYNETTE WAS ALL OF 13, AND SHE STILL LOOKED AFTER HER SISTERS,

CLEANED THE HOUSE, COOKED THE MEALS,

AND I WAS CURLED UP IN A BALL, PUKING MY GUTS OUT.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU MIX CHEMO AND VODKA GIMLETS.

(scoffs) YOU CAN GOAD ME ALL YOU LIKE, LYNETTE.

I DID NOT COME HERE TO FIGHT.

NOW TRUST ME, COOKIE,

I HAVE MEMORIZED THE WHOLE CATALOG

OF SUBJECTS YOU AND I CAN NO LONGER DISCUSS,

AND IF THAT MEANS

THAT WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER FOR THREE MONTHS,

THEN FINE.

BUTIAM STAYING.

NOW... IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I HAVE TO GO KICK A CHILD OUT OF ITS ROOM.

MMM!

(both laugh)

OKAY. MMM!

LEGS UP!

OH, YOU WANNA DO IT AGAIN?

(chuckles) NO.

I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF RESEARCH,

AND GRAVITY HELPS FACILITATE THE SPERM REACHING THE EGGS.

SO... HEAVE-HO!

OH! WELL, COULD WE TRY A LITTLE LIGHT SPOONING

BEFORE YOU HANG ME UP LIKE A SIDE OF BEEF?

EDIE, WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE A BABY.

WELL, COULD WE BE A LITTLE LESS CLINICAL?

MAYBE LET NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE?

NATURE IS NOT ON OUR SIDE ANYMORE.

LOOK, YOU'RE NO SPRING CHICKEN,

AND THOSE EGGS AREN'T EXACTLY FARM-FRESH.

OKAY, STOP REFERRING TO ME AS POULTRY.

SORRY. CAN WE JUST TRY THIS? IT'S ONLY FOR 30 MINUTES.

30 MINUTES?!

I AM NOT STAYING IN THIS POSITION FOR A HALF AN HOUR.

LISTEN, I KNOW THAT THIS REQUIRES SOME WORK,

BUT IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT

WHEN WE HAVE OUR BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL BABY. RIGHT?

RIGHT.

I GUESS I COULD... MAKE SOME SACRIFICES.

THAT'S MY GIRL.

CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?

YEAH. I'D KILL FOR A BEER. SORRY. NO ALCOHOL.

WHAT?! FOR HOW LONG?

JUST UNTIL THE BABY'S BORN. OH, AND YOU STOP NURSING.

DON'T WORRY. I'LL GET YOU A NICE HERBAL TEA.

IT'S JUST FOR A FEW MONTHS WHILE YOU'RE IN TREATMENT.

WE'RE--WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE TO WATCH THE KIDS.

NO! I AM NOT LEAVING THAT WOMAN IN CHARGE OF OUR CHILDREN.

IN THREE MONTHS, THE TWINS WILL BE CHAIN-SMOKING,

AND PENNY WILL BE AN ALCOHOLIC.

WE CAN MANAGE. WE'VE GOT McCLUSKEY.

SHE COSTS MONEY-- MONEY THAT WE WON'T HAVE

IF WE'RE PAYING SOMEONE TO REPLACE YOU AT WORK.

YOU SAID NOT TO WORRY ABOUT MONEY,

THAT YOU'D FIND IT SOMEWHERE. I DID.

WHAT, SOMEONE LOANED US $10,000?

NO, GAVE US,

AND WE CAN'T THANK HER BY KICKING HER OUT.

NO! TOM, YOU DIDN'T ASK MY MOTHER?!

DIDN'T HAVE TO.

SHE KNEW THAT YOU HIT UP LUCY, SO SHE OFFERED.

WELL, WE'RE GIVING IT BACK. NO, WE CAN'T AFFORD TO.

TOM, YOU DON'T KNOW HALF THE STUFF SHE DID TO US.

SHE WOULD GET DRUNK AND SMACK US AROUND.

SHE WOULD MEET SOME NEW GUY

AND THEN DROP US OFF AT HER SISTER'S FOR A WEEK

BECAUSE HE WASN'T INTO KIDS. OKAY, SO SHE WAS A CRAPPY MOM.

YOU SAID YOURSELF THAT SHE HAS MELLOWED.

NOW SHE WANTS TO MAKE AMENDS.

IF YOU WOULD JUST TRY TO UNDERSTAND...

I THINK THAT I'VE BEEN PRETTY UNDERSTANDING LATELY.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? I THINK YOU KNOW.

GREAT, SO IN THE MIDDLE OF EVERYTHING I'M DEALING WITH,

YOU'RE GONNA THROW RICK IN MY FACE.

WHEN SOMEONE WE LOVE HURTS US, IF WE STILL LOVE THEM,

WE DEAL WITH IT AND WE MOVE ON.

IF I CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU.

SO FORGIVING MY MOTHER...

THAT'S MY PENANCE?

YEAH. I THINK IT IS.

(door opens)

I THOUGHT YOU SAID WE WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SPEND

THE NIGHT BEFORE THE WEDDING TOGETHER.

YEAH, I WAS TRYING TO RESPECT TRADITION...

BUT I GOT HORNY.

WOW.

WELL, I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO START

THE HONEYMOON EARLY, WON'T WE? LET ME GET RID OF THIS STUFF.

WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON SO LATE?

NOTHING.

POLLING DATA?

WHY ARE YOU POLLING? THE ELECTION'S OVER.

IT'S JUST A LITTLE RESEARCH. GOD, YOU LOOK HOT.

IS THIS ABOUT RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR?

BECAUSE I TOLD YOU HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT.

MY DAD JUST SET UP A LITTLE... EXPLORATORY COMMITTEE.

IT'S NO BIG DEAL. OH. OKAY, WELL, LET'S EXPLORE IT NOW.

HMM... NOPE, NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

GABY-- VICTOR, EVER SINCE WE MET,

IT'S BEEN PHOTO OPS AND FUND-RAISERS,

AND I'M SICK OF IT. WELL, I'M A POLITICIAN.

DO YOU THINK I WANT MY CAREER TO BEGIN AND END IN THE SUBURBS?

FAIRVIEW IS MY HOME, AND I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE IT.

AND YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS DECISION WITHOUT ME.

I'M GONNA BE YOUR WIFE. EXACTLY, NOT MY CAREER ADVISER.

OH, SO I DON'T EVEN GET A VOTE? NOT IF IT'S A VETO.

OKAY, LOOK, NO! I ALREADY MARRIED A MAN

WHO PUT HIS CAREER BEFORE ME,

AND I SWORE I WASN'T GONNA DO IT AGAIN.

WELL, I SWORE I WOULD NOT LET A STUPID WOMAN HOLD ME BACK.

THAT DID NOT COME OUT THE WAY I WANTED IT TO.

(sighs) I'M SORRY. I'M SOR--I'M REALLY SORRY.

I'VE JUST BEEN UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE LATELY.

WELL, HERE'S ONE LESS THING YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT--

OUR WEDDING.

YOU CAN'T CANCEL THE WEDDING. IT'S TOO LATE.

AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, IT'S JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME.

(door slams)

(doorbell rings)

GOOD MORNING, GABY.

GOD, MILTON, THE NEWSPAPER'S NOT EVEN HERE YET.

I'M SORRY IT'S SO EARLY. I JUST... CAME TO APOLOGIZE.

WHY? WHAT HAPPENED WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

THAT'S NOT EXACTLY THE CASE.

IS THAT COFFEE I SMELL?

(sighs)

YOU ONLY BOLTED BECAUSE VICTOR WANTS TO BE GOVERNOR.

HE ONLY WANTS TO BE GOVERNOR BECAUSE OF ME.

YOU ONLY SUGGESTED IT.

YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM GO AFTER SOMETHING HE DOESN'T WANT.

THE HELL I CAN'T.

EVER SINCE HE WAS A KID, VICTOR'S BEEN KILLING HIMSELF

TRYING TO LIVE UP TO HIS BIG SHOT FATHER.

HE'S DESPERATE FOR MY APPROVAL.

WHY?

I SUPPOSE BECAUSE HE'S NEVER GOTTEN IT.

EVERYTHING HE DOES-- EVEN BECOMING MAYOR--

I SOMEHOW LET HIM KNOW THAT IT'S NOT QUITE ENOUGH.

OH... DON'T GET ME WRONG.

I'M RIGHT TO PUSH. THAT'S WHY HE'S SO SUCCESSFUL.

SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING,

I SHOULD MARRY VICTOR BECAUSE YOU'RE A WITHHOLDING FATHER?

NO, I JUST WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND

WHY HE DOES WHAT HE DOES.

FINE. I GET IT.

BUT WHY WOULD I WANT A HUSBAND

WHO VALUES HIS FATHER'S OPINION MORE THAN MINE?

WELL, HE DOESN'T REALLY CARE MUCH WHAT I THINK ANYMORE.

AFTER YOU LEFT LAST NIGHT, HE CALLED ME

AND, UH... WHAT'S THE PHRASE? "TORE ME A NEW ONE"?

HE DID?

HE SAID BECAUSE OF ME,

HE'D LOST THE BEST THING THAT HAD EVER HAPPENED TO HIM,

AND IF HE COULDN'T WIN YOU BACK,

I COULD TAKE MY MONEY AND BUY A NEW SON,

BECAUSE I WAS NEVER GONNA BE HEARING FROM HIM AGAIN.

HE BLEW OFF $80 MILLION?

WELL, IF HE CARES ABOUT ME SO DAMN MUCH,

WHY AM I NOT HEARING THIS FROM HIM?

I THINK YOU'RE ABOUT TO.

(lawn mower buzzing)

IS THERE A BACK WAY OUT OF HERE?

AREN'T YOU GONNA BE LATE FOR GABY'S WEDDING?

OH, WEDDINGS ARE BORING.

I LIKE TO SNEAK IN AT THE END, LOOK TEARY-EYED

AND PRETEND I WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME.

I AM GONNA SEE YOU AT THE RECEPTION. (blows kiss)

OH! UH, HI, DANNY.

UM... CARLOS, THE PAPERBOY'S HERE.

COULD YOU PAY HIM? COME ON IN.

HEY, HERE YOU GO, DANNY.

(chuckles) OH.

UH, LOOKS LIKE I'M A LITTLE SHORT.

CAN I CATCH YOU LATER? (laughs)

NO.

OKAY. HOLD ON.

(whispers) OH, MY GOD.

WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S BIRTH CONTROL PILLS.

I'M GONNA NEED CASH.

(Andrew) HEY, WELCOME HOME!

I HAVE MISSED YOU, SWEETHEART! OH!

OH!

OH, HERE, ALLOW ME.

WELL, HELLO THERE, JULIE. (clears throat)

YOU GUYS ARE BACK!

WOW, SOMEBODY'S... BLONDER.

OH, YEAH, MY MOM HATES IT, TOO. (laughs)

SO WHERE'S DANIELLE?

WELL, UM, WHILE WE WERE IN SWITZERLAND,

SHE RAN ACROSS THIS BOARDING SCHOOL,

AND SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH IT

AND JUST INSISTED THAT WE LET HER SPEND A YEAR ABROAD.

WOW. SHE MUST BE HAVING A REALLY GOOD TIME.

SHE HASN'T RETURNED ANY OF MY PHONE CALLS.

OH, WELL, UM, YOU KNOW,

HER SCHOOL'S UP IN THE MOUNTAINS,

AND--AND HER CELL PHONE RECEPTION IS KIND OF FUNKY.

SHE HASN'T ANSWERED MY E-MAILS, EITHER.

WELL, I AM GONNA CALL HER TONIGHT

AND HAVE A LITTLE TALK WITH HER ABOUT COMMON COURTESY,

AND I'M SURE THAT YOU WILL GET AN E-MAIL

FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING. WELL, WE SHOULD GO.

I'VE GOT TO GET THAT BRACELET TO GABY BEFORE THE WEDDING.

WELL, I'LL SEE YOU GUYS THERE. BYE.

WELL, THAT WAS UNCOMFORTABLE.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA. EVERYONE'S BEEN ASKING QUESTIONS.

THIS MIGHT NOT BE AS EASY AS WE'D HOPED.

THERE. NOW YOU HAVE SOMETHING NEW.

SO HOW DO I LOOK?

YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BRIDE THAT EVER LIVED.

UNTIL YOUR WEDDING, OF COURSE.

NICE SAVE. (all laugh)

IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME

THAT WE'RE ALL HERE TOGETHER RIGHT NOW.

AND... BREAK!

(all laugh)

LOVE YOU.

MWAH.

(minister) WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY

TO JOIN TOGETHER VICTOR LANG AND GABRIELLE MARQUEZ

IN MATRIMONY--

AN HONORABLE ESTATE NOT TO BE ENTERED INTO LIGHTLY,

BUT REVERENTLY AND SOBERLY.

THIS IS A LIFETIME UNION--

ONE BASED ON LOVE, HONOR AND TRUST...

YOU WANNA BE MY NEW BEST FRIEND?

PREMIUM SCOTCH. KEEP IT COMING.

IT WILL SHAPE YOU.

YOU ARE PROMISING NOT ONLY TO GIVE OF YOURSELF,

BUT ALSO TO ACCEPT EACH OTHER,

PROMISING NOT ONLY TO LOVE FOR TODAY,

BUT TO EXTEND THAT LOVE TO INCLUDE...

CARLOS! I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T COMING UNTIL AFTER--

SAVE IT. ...NOW IF ANYONE CAN SHOW

JUST CAUSE WHY THESE TWO SHOULD NOT BE JOINED TOGETHER... OKAY, LOOK, I CAN EXPLAIN--

DON'T BOTHER!

YOUR LIES WERE MORE CONVINCING WHEN I CARED.

VICTOR, DO YOU TAKE GABRIELLE...

CARLOS!

...IN GOOD TIMES AND BAD...

YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND.

I DO WANNA HAVE A BABY WITH YOU, JUST NOT YET. I...

I JUST--I WANTED TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE

TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME FIRST.

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, AND I WILL NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN!

WELL, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?

YOU BACKED ME INTO A CORNER, AND YOU WERE GONNA BAIL ON US,

AND I WAS JUST TRYING TO SAVE WHAT WE HAD.

CARLOS, DON'T LEAVE ME.

...LOVE, HONOR AND CHERISH ONE ANOTHER

ALL YOUR DAYS TO COME... PLEASE JUST TALK TO ME.

I AM DONE WITH YOU.

CARLOS!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

I PRESENT TO YOU MR. AND MRS. VICTOR LANG.

I'M SORRY!

(applause)

(sobbing)

(indistinct conversations)

MRS. McCLUSKEY! ENJOY THE WEDDING?

NICE. VERY CLASSY.

ALTHOUGH WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT BROUHAHA

BETWEEN CARLOS AND EDIE? I DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T CARE.

TODAY, I'M SO FILLED WITH LOVE, I CAN FORGIVE ANYONE ANYTHING.

OH, UM, BUT IF YOU DO SEE THEM AGAIN, CALL SECURITY.

SO WE'RE IN ZURICH,

AND I AM SICK AFTER BREAKFAST FOR THE THIRD MORNING IN A ROW.

AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, DEAR GOD,

I HOPE I HAVE NOT DEVELOPED AN ALLERGY TO CHOCOLATE BRIOCHE.

LIFE JUST WOULDN'T BE WORTH LIVING. (all laugh)

SO I SAID, THAT'S IT. WE'RE SEEING A DOCTOR.

WELL, YOU COULD'VE KNOCKED US OVER WITH A FEATHER

WHEN HE SAID SHE WAS ALREADY TWO MONTHS PREGNANT.

AW, I THINK IT'S SO GREAT,

AND WE COULD NOT BE HAPPIER FOR YOU. WHEN'S YOUR DUE DATE?

OH, NOT UNTIL THE EARLY FALL, BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME.

THIS IS YOUR DAY-- YOU AND VICTOR--

WHO, BY THE WAY, I HAVE NOT MET YET. OH, MY GOSH, THAT'S RIGHT.

OKAY, YOU STAY HERE. I'M GONNA GO GRAB HIM.

(sighs)

IT IS SO GOOD TO BE BACK.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH IS HAPPENING.

I MEAN, YOU AND GABY GETTING MARRIED,

AND I'M HAVING A BABY.

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU, LYNETTE?

NOTHING. (chuckles) SAME OLD, SAME OLD.

REALLY? IS EVERYTHING OKAY, SWEETIE?

'CAUSE YOU HAVEN'T QUITE SEEMED YOURSELF THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS.

I'M FINE. EVERYTHING'S JUST FINE.

(Victor) I'LL TELL YOU THIS MUCH--I'M EXHAUSTED.

I'LL BE GLAD WHEN THIS DAY IS OVER.

(Milton) WELL, IT WAS ALL WORTH IT.

MARRYING GABY IS THE SMARTEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE.

WITH HER BRINGING IN THE LATINO VOTE,

THE GOVERNOR'S MANSION'S AS GOOD AS YOURS.

WELL, THAT'S ASSUMING I CAN CHANGE HER MIND.

I HAD TO MAKE CERTAIN CONCESSIONS

JUST TO GET HER DOWN THE AISLE. (chuckles) YOU'RE THE HUSBAND NOW.

THE RULES HAVE CHANGED.

BE NICE, BUY HER A FEW PRETTY THINGS.

TRUST ME, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO TAME THAT LITTLE SPITFIRE.

I'M NOT TOO WORRIED. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO MANAGE MY ASSETS.

HMM.

DID YOU FIND HIM?

NO, I'M STILL LOOKING, BUT I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

(music playing on TV) OH, MOVIE'S OVER.

AND MAY I ADD... AMEN.

GO OUT AND PLAY. GO ON, GO ON. OUT!

(door opens) (sighs)

(door closes) THEY'RE JUST GONNA GO PLAY GUNS.

CAN I WATCH ANOTHER MOVIE?

OH, LYNETTE SAID ONE WAS THE LIMIT,

AND SHE'LL BE HOME SOON. NO, SHE WON'T.

WHENEVER THEY GO OUT TO A PARTY,

THEY ALWAYS COME HOME AT LEAST AN HOUR LATER

THAN THEY SAY THEY WILL.

(chuckles) AREN'TYOU AN OBSERVANT LITTLE MONKEY?

TELL ME, SWEETIE...

WOULD YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT A MAN NAMED RICK?

YEAH, I KNOW RICK.

MY DADDY AND LYNETTE HAD A BIG FIGHT ABOUT HIM.

REALLY?

SOUNDS LIKE THERE'S MAYBE A LITTLE STORY THERE.

IF I TELL YOU,

COULD I WATCH A REALLY GOOD GROWN-UP MOVIE?

IF IT'S A REALLY GOOD GROWN-UP STORY.

OKAY, I GOT YOU SOME APPETIZERS TO TIDE YOU OVER.

WE HAVE MINI QUICHES AND BEEF SATAY

AND SOMETHING CALLED

"CRYSTAL COAST SHRIMP WITH GRITS,"

BUT IT'S MOSTLY JUST GRITS

'CAUSE I ATE ALL THE SHRIMP ON MY WAY OVER. MIKE?

(jazz music playing)

(sighs)

(indistinct conversations)

REVEREND, THAT WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL CEREMONY.

REALLY, JUST HEARTFELT AND MOVING--THE WHOLE PACKAGE.

WHY, THANK YOU.

YEAH, IT WAS REALLY IMPRESSIVE.

SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?

OH, CARLOS. DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE IN HERE.

I GOT A LITTLE THIRSTY.

YES. I CAN SEE THAT.

GABY, I AM SORRY IF I RUINED YOUR WEDDING.

BUT IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION, I ALSO RUINED MY LIFE. (laughs)

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

A COUPLE YEARS AGO, I WAS TOTALLY HAPPY.

I HAD A HOME, YOU, A GREAT CAREER.

AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW I LET IT ALL GO TO HELL.

AND NOW HERE I AM, BACK AT SQUARE ONE.

(chuckles) I REALLY BLEW IT.

(exhales deeply)

AH, WHAT AM I DOING?

I SHOULDN'T BE DUMPING THIS ON YOU. IT'S YOUR WEDDING DAY.

GO TO VICTOR. (sets bottle on table)

I'M GONNA STAY RIGHT HERE--

WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DID IT.

THE KIDS ARE ASLEEP,

AND THE COUGH SYRUP HASN'T BEEN TOUCHED.

BOY, YOU'RE JUST WAITING FOR AN EXCUSE TO GIVE ME THE BOOT.

WELL, IF HISTORY'S ANY INDICATOR,

I WON'T HAVE TO WAIT LONG.

SO YOU DON'T THINK PEOPLE CAN CHANGE?

(chuckles)

I THINK AT A CERTAIN POINT,

PEOPLE JUST ARE WHO THEY ARE.

WELL, I THINK PEOPLE CAN CHANGE.

OH.

NOW TAKE YOU.

YOU WERE THE PERFECT WIFE AND MOM...

THEN ALONG CAME RICK.

HOW DID YOU--

COME ON, LYNETTE.

YOU KIDS WERE YOUNG WHEN I WAS SNEAKING AROUND ON GLEN,

BUT YOU KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP.

YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS FROM MY KIDS?

JUST THE GIRL,

AND ALL SHE KNOWS

IS THAT DADDY GOT MAD BECAUSE RICK"LIKED"YOU.

NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN ME AND RICK.

YES, HE CAME ON TO ME,

BUT UNLIKE YOU, I CONTROLLED MYSELF.

WELL, YOU HAD TOM TO COME HOME TO.

I HAD YOUR STEPFATHER.

HEY, GLEN MAY HAVE BORED YOU,

BUT THE YEARS WE HAD A FATHER IN THAT HOUSE

WERE THE HAPPIEST IN MY LIFE.

YOU DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THAT, THOUGH, DID YOU?

YOU JUST DROVE HIM AWAY.

AND YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO PAY ME BACK.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID THE NEXT YEAR WHEN I GOT SICK?

NO. (clears throat) I DON'T.

LIAR.

YOU SAID I EARNED IT.

IT WAS GOD'S PUNISHMENT.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING NOW, LYNETTE?

YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING PUNISHED?

HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?

YOU WERE SO SANCTIMONIOUS.

YOU COULD NOT IMAGINE

WHAT SORT OF WOMAN COULD DO THAT KIND OF THING.

NOT SO HARD TO IMAGINE NOW, IS IT?

STOP COMPARING US. I NEVER DID WHAT YOU DID.

NO, YOU JUST WANTED TO.

YOU'RE LEAVING TOMORROW.

I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY. I DON'T WANT YOU IN MY HOUSE.

HEY.

YOU ARE SICK, LYNETTE.

YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE IN FOR

'CAUSE YOU WATCHED ME GO THROUGH IT?

WATCHING IT IS NOTHING.

YOU ARE GOING TO FEEL WORSE THAN YOU THOUGHT A PERSON COULD FEEL,

AND I'LL BE HOLDING YOUR HAND THROUGH EVERY DAMN MINUTE.

YOU CAN'T STAY IF I DON'T WANT YOU HERE.

YOU CAN FIGHT ME OR YOU CAN FIGHT THE CANCER.

TRUST ME, YOU WON'T HAVE THE STRENGTH TO DO BOTH.

ANDREW?

DO YOUNG PEOPLE STILL SAY "AWESOME"?

NOT SO MUCH. UM, TRY "OFF THE HOOK."

"OFF THE HOOK"? THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

FINE, TYPE IN "GROOVY." SEE IF I CARE.

(telephone rings)

(telephone beeps)

HELLO? HODGE RESIDENCE.

OH, HI, DANIELLE.

LISTEN, I AM SENDING JULIE MAYER AN E-MAIL FROM YOU.

NOW WOULD YOU SAY THAT YOUR SCHOOL WAS "OFF THE HOOK"?

UH, NO. I WOULD SAY IT WAS SUCKY

OR CRAPPY OR A FREAKING NIGHTMARE.

LOOK, IF YOU'RE GONNA START COMPLAINING,

I'M GOING TO HANG UP. Mom, you have got to talk to the nuns.

THEY ARE SO HARSH WITH ME,

AND THEY HAVE ALL THESE STUPID RULES.

WELL, PERHAPS IF SOME OF THOSE RULES HAD BEEN IN PLACE

WHEN YOU TOOK UP WITH EDIE'S NEPHEW,

you might not be in this little pickle. MOM, PLEASE, I JUST WANNA COME HOME.

Look, I am gonna say this one last time.

YOU ARE GONNA STAY PUT UNTIL THAT BABY IS BORN.

NOW DON'T FORGET, WE'RE DRIVING UP THIS WEEKEND,

AND I AM BRINGING YOUR FAVORITE--

lemon squares, and--

(dial tone)

(sighs) DARLING...

CAN I DRAW YOU A BATH?

THAT WOULD BE LOVELY.

(sighs) OH, WOULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND, PLEASE?

HERE WE GO.

MM.

(exhales deeply)

(Velcro rips) THERE YOU GO.

MM. (sighs)

IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR THE 6-MONTH SIZE. OH, DON'T REMIND ME.

NO. NO, IT'S NO PROBLEM. I CAN FIX THAT FOR YOU.

JUST, UM, GIVE ME YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS.

(Southern accent) I'm Mrs. Emmeline Walcott,

and I'm at 42 Old Mill Road.

ALL RIGHT, I GOTTA STOP AND PICK UP A DOUGLAS VALVE,

BUT, UH, I SHOULD BE THERE IN 45 MINUTES TOPS.

(telephone beeps)

I HATE TO SEE YOU DRIVE WHEN YOU'RE THIS TIRED.

THERE'S SOME ICED COFFEE IN THE FRIDGE.

(whispers) I'LL BE FINE.

(normal voice) SEE YOU WHEN I GET BACK.

(front door opens and closes)

YOU WERE GREAT. (Southern accent) DID Y'ALL EVER DOUBT I WOULD BE?

JUST HURRY UP AND GET DRESSED. WE ONLY HAVE 45 MINUTES. (chuckles) OKAY.

ARE YOU MIKE?

YEAH. I'M LOOKING FOR A MRS. WALCOTT'S HOUSE.

YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.

HERE, PUT THIS ON.

YOU MIND TELLING ME WHAT SUSAN'S UP TO?

ASK HER YOURSELF.

(sighs)

(laughs)

ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?

I DON'T WANT YOU

TO LOOK BACK AND REGRET NOT HAVING YOUR PERFECT WEDDING.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE NOTICED,

BUT MY IDEA OF THE PERFECT WEDDING KEEPS CHANGING.

(laughs)

ONE DAY, I WANT WHITE ROSES, AND THEN I WANT LILIES,

AND FIRST, I WANT A HARPIST, AND THEN A STRING QUARTET.

ONLY ONE THING STAYS CONSTANT...

AND I'M LOOKING AT HIM.

WHY WOULD I NEED ANYTHING ELSE TO MAKE MY WEDDING PERFECT?

WELL, WHO KNEW DOWNSIZING COULD BE SO ROMANTIC?

(laughs)

YEAH.

UH, MRS. WALCOTT, I PRESUME?

(Southern accent) THAT'S RIGHT, SUGAR. (Susan and Julie laugh)

OH, YOU MIGHT WANNA CHECK THAT BREAST POCKET OF YOUR SUIT.

AND JUST SO YOU KNOW,

YOU'LL BE PAYING FOR THOSE AND THE LIGHTS AND THE FLOWERS.

I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL.

YOU CLEAN UP PRETTY GOOD YOURSELF.

ARE WE READY?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

THEY'VE BEEN DRAGGING THIS THING OUT FOR THREE YEARS. (both laugh)

***

WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY

TO JOIN TOGETHER MIKE DELFINO AND SUSAN MAYER

IN MATRIMONY--

AN HONORABLE ESTATE NOT TO BE ENTERED INTO LIGHTLY,

BUT REVERENTLY AND SOBERLY...

(giggles)

FAMILY--

THERE IS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT.

THEY'RE THE ONES WHO SHOW UP WHEN WE'RE IN TROUBLE...

THE ONES WHO PUSH US TO SUCCEED...

THE ONES WHO HELP KEEP OUR SECRETS.

BUT WHAT OF THOSE WHO HAVE NO FAMILY TO RELY ON?

WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE POOR SOULS...

WHO HAVE NO LOVED ONES

TO HELP THEM IN THEIR HOUR OF NEED?

WELL...

MOST LEARN TO WALK LIFE'S ROAD BY THEMSELVES.

(chair falls to floor)

BUT A SAD FEW OF US...

SIMPLY...

STOP TRYING.