Original subtitles

[swoosh]

[background chatter]

[rhythmic music]

[female announcer over speakers, indistinct]

The bus will now be departing at 1 8:50.

Hey.

Go ahead . Go ahead .

Hey! That's my-- That's my bus, man .

[Tumi, laughing]

[phone ringing]

Sh .

I'll be waiting .

[speaking Xhosa]

Gents, the bachelor is going to be late for his own party.

[all exclaim]

Check it out. [chuckling]

[speaking Xhosa]

[pop music from radio]

(Rose) I've got four more days, which is a lot of time

to get from here to there to catch my plane.

Okay, so instead of pushing on for Cape Town

let's stop in the next town and find a nice little bar.

But that means another night on the road .

Well, my flight's not till Saturday night.

You don't want to go home, do you?

Tsk. [sighs] Oh .

I could stay on this road forever.

At some point you're going to have to face your life.

And him .

Maybe.

Maybe, but not today. Please?

[soft pop music]

Agh !

[both , yelling and laughing]

[playful music]

(Marcel) Right. So let's get this thing choreographed.

So, the bridal procession ends here.

Then Elvis stands there, you stand here

and the guests are all on that side.

But there's enough room here for 1 20 people.

It's not the standing room that's a problem, darling.

It's the dining area and the seating .

But can't we just move everything into--

Don't go there. I have done everything I can , believe me.

I have pushed them to the absolute limit.

The only other option is to find a different venue

but we think it's a bit late for that now, don't we?

Inviting so few people.

You think 1 20 guests is a few people?

Duh ! A township wedding is 300 or 400 at least.

But this is not a township wedding .

But Ma has invited all her friends from her church group, her stokvel

even the ladies from the youth club.

Are you sure we can't fit in another table? I'm sure it can fit in over there somewhere.

Quite sure.

[phone ringing]

Hello, my baby.

(Elvis) Hey, babes, I'm finally on my way to you.

It depends.

(Ayanda over phone) On what?

And lacy.

[grunts] I love lacy.

And can you guess where?

[grunts]

You know what?

[chuckling] Okay. Sorry, my baby.

I love you .

- [louder] I love you . - Okay, bye.

(Elvis) Bye.

[lively music]

Love. [chuckling] Love is a load of bollocks.

Aha! Progress at last.

We are moving from sad to angry.

(Rose) What do you mean? I've been angry all along.

Oh , God . When you arrived you were the saddest sack I've ever seen .

Well, hello?

I was supposed to be walking down the aisle, not sitting on the aisle

in an economy seat, I might add

flying to the other side of the world .

You did the right thing .

Yeah . [chuckling]

Patrick is a bastard .

Cheers.

[speaking Xhosa, phone ringing]

[speaking Xhosa, music in background]

Hey, hey, hey, Ayanda. How's the lovely bride to be?

(Tumi) Yeah, we're all set. [background noise]

No. No. [mouthing silently] Uh , it's just the TV.

(Tumi) Ayanda, why don't you trust me?

Ah, okay, anyway.

Uh , okay. Yeah , it's, uh-- Uh-- It's TUM I ZN .

TUM I ZN .

(Tumi) Look, there's some other call coming here. You know, it could be Elvis.

Okay, bye.

[speaking Xhosa]

You have outdone yourself, man .

I think he's watching porn .

Don't go there, sister.

Okay, so TUMI ZN is the vehicle that's driving you from the church.

Now we need the registration of the car that's getting you there.

Is that who I think it is?

(Tony) Ayanda.

Long time.

You look wonderful.

You look the same.

Ouch .

Hi, Tony.

Zuki? You've grown .

It was nice seeing you. I'll phone you, okay?

I'll find you .

(Zuki) He's looking so cool. I didn't know he was back.

[sighs] Thank God . That means

The ex, I presume.

- She's my first love. - Who? - Her.

So, what's next on the list?

[walla]

[sighs]

That barman

is getting cuter by the minute.

Agh . It's just a front

and it won't be long before the mask drops

and the lying , cheating truth behind that "cute" exterior is revealed .

Ugh . Who cares?

As long as it's not tonight.

You know, I-- I still can't believe it.

I mean , couldn't he at least have done it with someone I didn't know?

Hm , here we go again .

I was bound to find out.

Can we please forget about Patrick?

Yeah , you're right. Slippery bastard .

Let's face it, his unit left a lot to be desired.

[chuckling] What?

(Daisy) Uh, I'm hopeless at this.

Yeah .

[barman continues speaking French]

[playful music]

[speaking Xhosa]

[phone ringing and music]

Yeah !

[answering machine] This is Tumi, if you want to talk, talk!

Ah . [sighs]

[soft music]

[groaning] Ah . My savior.

So you were saying something about Patrick's unit--

Was l?

Hm.

Last night. And then there was a whole list of people he'd slept with .

It must have been the tequila talking .

Did you sleep with him?

When?

We had been drinking. . .

You guys were fighting and. . .

he thought you had dumped him , at least that's what he told me

so at the time, I didn't think of it as--

What year was that?

Third year, I think.

It doesn't matter.

[sighs] Only to me.

What are you doing?

You know what I'm struggling with?

It's this whole, "Come to South Africa

I'll look after you, I'm your best friend, remember,"

versus, "Oops, did I forget to mention

that I didn't think much of your fianc�'s unit when he was sticking it in me?"

I am so sorry.

It's something I wanted to tell you the whole trip, but it came out the wrong way.

Would that be on account of his size?

Where are you going?

I'm going to Cape Town .

On your own?

Yes. Thanks for the holiday, though.

It's been more than I ever imagined .

[answering machine] This is Tumi, if you want to talk, talk!

Please, pick up your phone.

[answering machine] This is Tumi, if you want to talk, talk!

(Elvis) Hey, man, please, pick up your phone.

[soft music]

? I feel cheated ?

? I feel so so lonely ?

? It's concluded ?

It's okay, Elvis, don't worry about it.

It's fine, really.

"His battery died ." "He forgot the charger at home."

"He's in a meeting and the phone is on silent."

Yeah , but--

Maybe he just forgot the phone in the office.

No, no, he dropped the phone in the morning while he was getting into the car

he reversed on it, and now the phone's crushed.

(Gloria) Oh, look. He's home.

And that's the car that we're going to use for my wedding , huh?

[door bell ringing insistently]

[moaning]

[grunting] Shit! Elvis!

[ringing continues] Yeah , I'm coming !

You--

Hi, baby!

Uh , baby! Uh--

No! Agh !

Baby! Baby, wait! Baby!

Hey.

Oh !

[knocking]

(Elvis) Oh.

Welcome to your bachelor party.

[alarm]

Hi, hi, babies. I'm , I'm , I'm Elvis.

(all) Hi, Elvis.

Hi.

[chuckling]

[alarm continues]

[exclaiming] It's Gloria!

[both , exclaiming]

[tires screech]

[alarm continues]

[Elvis and Tumi, exclaiming]

It's bad .

Phone!

[speaking Xhosa]

Temba? I need a favor.

No scratch , do you hear me?

[sighs] Okay.

(Temba) Okay, it's fine. Take it.

(Tumi) And thanks for the phone and please take care of my car.

And please, get rid of those girls in my apartment.

(Temba) Never mind, my friends. I'll be there.

(Elvis) Thanks, Temba.

Okay, you're welcome.

We are going to get a sign .

[Elvis and Tumi, laughing]

[soft music with foreign language lyrics]

[hip hop music]

[chuckling]

Ma Vee.

Hey!

Look at you .

Oh .

with this very nice guy from Johannesburg.

[laughing]

(Zuki) Ah! These dresses are so beautiful.

(Ayanda) Wait till you see mine.

(Zuki) Can I help you with that?

Uh , no, your fingers are greasy.

My fingers aren't greasy.

Everyone's fingers are greasy.

Is this your, your first marriage?

Yes, it is.

Ooh , you must be terribly nervous.

Terribly excited.

Oh, we'll need help getting it in the car.

Uh , yes, I'm afraid I can't release the dress

until we've received payment in full.

(Ayanda) But my fianc� has transferred the balance.

(shop assistant) Your payment hasn't been received, and our rules are very strict!

Hey, baby.

(Elvis) No, baby, I deposited the check first thing yesterday morning.

Love, please.

Please don't worry. Everything will be fine. I'll sort it out.

Okay, then . I'll hear from you .

(Elvis) Love you. (Ayanda) Love you, too.

We'll have to make it tomorrow, then.

(Zuki) Aya, we don't have time tomorrow.

Out of the question .

Tomorrow is earrings, flowers

shoes and table settings. Sorry, impossible.

We'll have to make time.

(Tumi) Indwe, here we come.

(Elvis) Are you sure this is the third exit after the petrol station?

And they are keeping me on hold .

You sure? We can't get lost, you know.

[loud music and voices]

[Elvis and Tumi, laughing wildly]

[joyful, rhythmic music]

[speaking Xhosa]

You're a lucky guy.

I'm the king of the world !

[speaking Xhosa]

Hi, Tony.

(Tony) Ayanda.

Congratulations, by the way.

Hm . A wonderful woman deserves a wonderful man .

(Ayanda) Zuki!

I've missed you .

Yeah , right.

I'm serious.

[chuckling]

(Tony) Bye.

[Tumi, speaking Xhosa]

(Elvis) Didn't I tell you there would be a sign?

[phone ringing] An hour ago.

Ma. Ma?

Hello?

[Elvis, sighing, shuts phone]

(Tumi) So, left or right?

(Elvis) Left? We need a map.

(Tumi) Map?

(Marcel) We have to make some changes in the guest list.

I think there are too many people coming at this point in time.

I knew we shouldn't have met here.

(Marcel) There's no room for Aunt Rina or Uncle whatever his name is

and the sister-in-law. They can't come.

Sorry, can we get back to the table plan?

(Valerie) Agh .

[car approaching]

Thank you . Hi. Thank you .

Can you take me to the next town?

[indistinct]

Yeah . Thank you so much .

So this is about you?

Makgabo?

You know what I'm talking about.

[stopping car]

Forget about that, man .

But, no, no--

You didn't even realize how lucky you were.

You didn't show her.

[shuts door]

Elvis!

I can't believe you .

Then why would she lie to me?

And you believed her?

Why wouldn't l?

Are you mad?

[soft music]

[answering machine] Hi, this is Elvis. Leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Hello, baby.

Okay. [indistinct] Bye.

[sighs]

(Rose) Patrick said men are like puppy dogs.

And he was at first.

He was cute, attentive

loyal.

Well, he can go and piss on someone else's rug

and rip up someone else's cushions.

Thanks.

You know, you remind me of my dad . [sobbing]

[distant caw]

Agh !

[birds scurrying]

[soft music]

Ah .

[soft music]

[speaking Xhosa]

Sorry, but like I said yesterday

we can't release the dress until we have payment in full.

[phone ringing]

(Elvis) Hey, babes.

Oh , that's nice.

Well, it hasn't cleared .

Tomorrow.

Okay.

(Elvis) Baby, it is fine.

I'll let you know.

[Tumi and other man speaking Xhosa]

Yeah .

Okay.

Okay, yeah , yeah . Okay, thanks, bye.

Bye.

(Tumi) That guy's directions are worse than Ayanda's.

(Rose) Please don't tell me you guys are lost.

[men yell and tires screech]

(Rose) Hey!

[men , speaking Xhosa]

What are you doing in my car?

Hitching a ride?

Will you please get out?

Look, I can see how this might seem strange

but please, I need to get to Cape Town

to catch a flight back home to England on Saturday.

Are you going anywhere near Cape Town?

Why don't you have your own car?

It's a long story.

Okay, look, I just couldn't have endured another second with Daisy

after what she told me

so I just walked out of the hotel and then this pickup brought me here.

And then I thought there would be a bus or something .

(Tumi) Okay, okay, just calm down, please, don't cry.

Sorry, it's just been a horrible few days.

Please, don't leave me here.

It's okay, it's okay.

(Rose) Thank you .

Thank you so much .

Don't thank me.

lf anything happens--

What's he saying?

Oh , he's just saying that, uh

you're so lucky, we got lost and we are able to help you .

You know, it's not safe for a white girl

to be hitchhiking on her own around here.

What's in your bag?

Um , just like--

stuff.

Ah, okay. Stop. Stop. Okay. Stop.

(Elvis) We don't want any more problems than we already have, okay?

Okay.

[engine starts]

I'm Rose, by the way.

(Elvis) You sit still.

Drive.

[women cheer and shout]

[cheering and shouting]

[trickling]

(Rose) What are you doing?

[exclaims]

[chuckling]

So are you guys like friends?

No!

You never told me your names.

I'm Tumi.

Pleased to meet you .

And you?

He's Elvis.

Wow. After the old hound dog?

After his grandfather, actually.

[both chuckle]

You are friends really, aren't you?

Yes, we are friends.

Best friends?

Since the first day of school.

I just broke up with my best friend .

She screwed my fianc�.

Thank God I didn't marry him .

I mean , who gets married these days, anyway?

Who wants to be institutionalized?

My parents have been married for nearly 30 years.

They haven't had a conversation in about 29.

Why bother?

Well, for companionship, for comfort

home cooked meals, raising kids together, you know?

And knowing that you understand each other so well

that you don't have to talk all the time.

Okay? Just enjoy long silences.

Sounds horrific.

(Tumi) Elvis is getting married on Saturday.

We are on our way to Cape Town for his wedding .

Oh my God .

[background voices and laughter]

Have you ever cheated on her?

No, he would never cheat on her.

(Rose) - Seriously, never? - Never.

(Rose) Okay, maybe I was being a bit harsh earlier there.

Oh , that's just great, like, you're totally devoted to this woman

and you want the whole happy-ever-after thing for real.

What about you? Are you married?

No. Mm-uh .

That makes two of us.

Um , can I give you some advice?

Always tell the truth .

I always tell the truth .

About the important things.

(Rose) It has to be about everything.

lf Patrick would have told me the truth then we might have stood a chance.

I don't agree. I think there are certain things that people don't need to know.

(Rose) Well, with all due respect, you're wrong.

The truth is always best, no matter how much it hurts.

[sighs]

[children playing]

(both) And?

[exclaims]

Rose?

[soft music]

[children cheering]

(Rose) This is so pretty.

How long?

[animals bleating, birds chirping]

Brilliant.

(woman) This won't be my first wedding , you know.

Oh , good , then you're well versed .

Right, uh , I'm just gonna--

The last dress was way too tight.

Yet, but this one's beautiful.

Um-- [vibrating] Ooh , uh

could you just hold on a second? I'm vibrating , I'll be-- Sorry.

Hello?

(Elvis) Hi, Mr. Nhlophe here.

(shop assistant) Oh, yes, yes, yes. Uh, your payment did come through.

Oh , thank you , great! So she got the dress?

Yes, but, uh, some other guy already paid for it so we refunded your account.

What other guy?

Tony something .

Okay, thanks.

Bye-bye!

(Marcel) Right, so you are over here

you're over here.

People don't stay so stiff, please, this is not a school production .

Uh , and the groom is over here.

[phone rings] I have another meeting to go to.

Shall we run through it anyways?

That's like rehearsing Romeo and Juliet without a Romeo.

Let's not get morbid .

[phone ringing]

Oh , thank God .

Oh , I've been worried !

(Ayanda) Why does it even matter?

(Elvis) That is not the point!

Isn't it?

The point is, that cheating bastard

Come on , man . Come on !

[sighs]

[phone rings]

[Rose and Tumi chatter]

(Tumi) You okay?

[sighs]

There must be a logical explanation to all of this.

It's so nice and peaceful.

Don't let your mom get to you, she just wants the best for you.

Yeah .

with her 500 neighbors and she wants to feed them all. [chuckling]

This is Ma Vee you're talking about.

Yeah .

Come on , you got the bigger piece.

You're such a chauvinist.

What?

You make it sound like it's a bad thing . It's not.

There's no one like you , Ayanda, you know that?

It is possible to be friends with an ex, you know.

As long as he didn't sleep with your best friend .

In which case, you move cities or kill him .

But you certainly don't speak to him again .

lf, on the other hand

the end of the relationship was one of those fizzle-out endings

and you just grow apart from each other and you're bored

and you realize that it isn't going anywhere

and as long as you both feel the same way, then I think you can be friends.

I think it was a fizzle.

Anyway, she's obviously crazy about him

and then there's no way she's messing about with this Tony character.

So you think women don't fool around if they have one guy they're crazy about?

Never. lf we like someone, we get tunnel vision . It's him and him alone.

You wouldn't even fool around just to make him jealous?

Oh , it's possible, but totally self-defeating .

How?

Well, if it was me, I'd hate myself afterwards

and then I'd probably blurt out what I'd done

and then the whole thing'd end anyway.

And I'd deserve it.

So, who was she?

What?

Your fianc�.

Patrick.

Three days before the wedding I found out

he'd been sleeping with a work colleague.

I'm a doctor.

So is he.

She was one of the nurses.

She told me everything .

It had been going on several weeks.

So I left.

I didn't explain , didn't tell anyone.

I just got on a plane and came here.

It was his loss.

And I promise you , he knows it.

[soft music]

[chuckling]

[crickets]

[noises at the door]

(Granny) Are you from America?

No, England .

And you two, are you married?

No!

No. No.

No.

And you , you're going to be with me here, in this house.

Come.

[soft music and rooster]

[knocking]

[groaning]

[children playing]

[chuckling]

Can I do just one thing right?

[Granny calls]

[bleating]

(Rose) His name is George, and you can't put George in the boot.

[bleating]

(Elvis) Man , Tumi.

No, man , you can't put this goat in the back seat.

This is a leather seat, man.

Hey, man , I'm putting down the newspaper.

Tumi?

[bleating]

No. Now you like goats?

(Rose) How can you not love George?

George?

(Tumi) You know what?

I don't think it's a good idea to give the goat a name.

Why? You're not gonna kill I'm , are ya?

(Tumi) I'm not going to kill him.

(Rose) Oh, don't listen to these horrible people. [bleating]

George?

What's he saying?

Hm--

I'm saying South Africa is a beautiful country.

[bleating]

Why? Why?

(Rose) South Africa really is beautiful.

[Elvis, mumbling and phone ringing]

[Ayanda over phone] Hey, baby.

Yeah .

Don't worry about it. We have one extra space.

What?

Agh !

[bleating]

Thank goodness!

[soft music] ? There's a man Shaking cigarette ?

? Unshaven face I will never forget ?

? I hand him a dollar He gives me a look like ?

? Get out by a hook or crook ?

[chuckling]

? I said I grow lemon trees in a desert ?

[indistinct lyrics]

[shouting]

[horn honking and tires screeching]

[shouting and bleating]

[car stops, Tumi groans]

[phone ringing]

(Marcel) Well at least

we've got through yesterday's list.

And finally the florist

has turned us a massive curve ball.

(Zuki) You're making me smudge here.

(Marcel) Apparently there's a shortage of Cape Lilies

so he tried to fob me off with carnations.

I said over my dead body.

Tony?

(Marcel) Star of Asia it is then. Thank you very much. Now, do we have any idea

of the whereabouts of your husband to be?

I think we snapped the axle.

[bleating]

because you're trying to impress someone.

(Rose) Sh. Come on, guys.

Will you guys just shut up? All right?

How are we going to get to Cape Town?

What are you doing?

Would you like one?

How is that going to help us get to his wedding?

(Elvis) Well, he doesn't want me to go to my wedding!

Bye, George.

[soft music]

Hi.

[indistinct]

Yeah , I'm fine.

Are you going to town?

(man) Yeah.

Yeah . [indistinct]

[soft music playing]

Yeah .

Because you screwed up your one chance at love.

That is why we are two days late

that is why we still have to go a thousand Ks!

and I don't appreciate it.

Why don't you just calm down .

No, no, okay. Great. You know what?

[indistinct] is going to stop here with his boys and they're gonna give us a lift

and I'll get married !

Elvis.

why don't you just shut up?

No, you shut up! You shut up!

[bleating]

[background chatter]

Hey!

Whoa!

Oh , yeah !

(Elvis) Rosie! Rosie!

I love you . I love you .

I love you ! You are my hero.

I love you !

I love you . I love you .

You know what? I knew you wouldn't abandon us. I knew it!

And you my man . You are my life savior.

[kissing]

(Elvis) Come. Come. Come, man. Come.

[speaking Afrikaans]

What?

(Len) Your axle's cracked .

We never thought you'd come back.

And you let me get in a stranger's car?

Well, you seem to have a knack for being picked up by nice strangers.

But you let me go even though you didn't think you were going to see me again?

[bleating]

Hey, George. Hmm?

(Len) Four hours, tops.

Right!

For that?

It'll cost you .

Money's not a problem . Just fix it.

Can't leave George here. What if someone steals him?

We can only hope.

[clamor]

l am starving .

Great.

Can we join you?

What's that flag?

It's a dead flag .

You mean the apartheid flag?

Mm-hm .

(Rose) Ugh. It's like flying a swastika?

(Rose) Hi, can we get something to eat, please?

Len , are you done?

Done with what?

(Elvis) The car. You said four hours tops.

Yeah .

And where is it?

(Len) It's Friday night, man. No, I meant four hours on Monday.

[men, laughing]

[phone ringing]

What am I going to tell her?

Just tell her the truth .

I never thought that would come out of your mouth .

(Rose) The truth. And if she doesn't understand, then she's inhuman.

[phone continues ringing]

Babe.

Tony?

Well, that's very nice of him .

What is going on with you?

Are you trying to back out of this?

Tony's just trying to make up for--

Ugh !

What just happened?

Too much truth .

Sit, sit.

(men) Hey, hey.

(Elvis) Double brandy and coke. Same for my friend here.

Thank you .

Danke.

(Fanie) You know

it used to be bad enough

with you Kaffirs trying to take over my country

now you want to take over my table and my place by the bar.

Do you want to fight with the Kaffir or want to have a drink?

Ah .

[horn honking]

Never.

[sighs]

You don't want to do that.

[coughing]

Here you are.

We need to talk about a Plan B.

A Plan B?

That's what we put into action if the groom doesn't show.

[Ayanda, coughing]

Do you have a wife?

Mm-hm .

[sighs]

Women are so messed up, man .

You know, I could be single and happy

but I've got love to give. I need to give love.

But women will always mess you up with their disappointments, with their expectations

with their ex-boyfriends!

Barman , please, another brandy and coke.

No, no, no.

What? You think I don't have money?

You think I don't have problems?

I'm married to an Englishwoman .

Now that's why that is a problem .

[mumbles]

Do you love her?

I . . .hate her.

[chuckling]

[both continue laughing]

Are you okay?

Yeah .

I'm going to the loo.

Okay.

[Elvis and Fanie continue laughing and toasting]

Elvis.

Yes?

I think we should go now.

No! We're having fun ! Why going?

Where are you going?

[door opens]

[phone ringing]

Hey, Ayanda.

Can you tell me what the hell is going on?

Uh , okay, Ayanda.

What?

No, no, it's fine. Everyone's fine.

Right now we're just waiting for the car to be fixed.

Maybe six or seven hours.

You're joking , right?

No, uh, I'm not.

But, Ayanda, we will be there for the wedding .

[song begins playing loudly] I love this! Buddy, this song is great!

You like it?

Love it.

[singing]

Isn�t this great?

(Ayanda) What's that noise?

It's people singing .

We're in a bar, waiting for the car to be fixed.

Tumi, you're not lying to me, are you?

No, I'm telling you the truth.

I just don't believe this.

Believe me, he wants to be there and he will be.

[singing continues]

What?

[continues singing]

What? Hello?

Okay. Bye.

- [loud singing continues] - (Rose) What are we gonna do?

Excuse me do you have any rooms available? We don't mind sharing .