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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:37,077 [♪ Bryan Adams: You've Been a Friend To Me] 2 00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:24,226 [Man] This walk is exactly what you need. 3 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:27,020 You've been coiled up like a spring. I don't even know who you are anymore. 4 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,314 It's a big meeting, I'd think you'd be a little nervous. 5 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,276 I don't get nervous, Dan. I get excited. 6 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:35,195 Please don't tell the story. 7 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,072 You're a people person, Charlie, that's wonderful, 8 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,825 but in business meetings you tell personal items from my life, 9 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,744 - and it embarrasses me. - Girls, girls, girls! 10 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:46,498 - [Dog grunts] - Hey! Ten miles! [laughs] 11 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:49,293 - [Groans] - I'm sorry, Lucky. 12 00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:52,171 I think he's too old for sprints. I can hear his legs clicking. 13 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,714 Those are my knees. 14 00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:56,508 Do you really think I tell that story for my own amusement? 15 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,594 I do it because it's a sales tool. 16 00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,637 Charlie, let's win this account on our pitch. 17 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,514 It's sports marketing. You need an edge. 18 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:06,185 - I don't want to be the edge. - Hey, mister! Little help! 19 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,853 Sure thing, guys! 20 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,981 - [Boy grunts] - [Charlie] Whoa! 21 00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:13,275 - [Boy] Ow! - Oh! Oh! Oh! 22 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:16,320 - Why did you do that? - My bad! Sorry! 23 00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:19,156 - I didn't mean to. - You're a monster! 24 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,866 [Dan] I'm sorry! 25 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,659 You're allergic to anything under four feet. You're a mess. 26 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,662 - Promise you won't tell the story. - Fine. I won't tell the story. 27 00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:29,333 [Charlie] OK, you guys want to hear the greatest Dan Rayburn story ever? 28 00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,460 - [Dan] No, don't. - Please. Come on, Danny. 29 00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,463 All right. Seven years ago, Dan's divorce had just come through 30 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,715 and his ex-wife had left his heart in tatters. 31 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:39,509 And his bank account drained. Tell them that. 32 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:42,137 - [Speaking Japanese] - He was taking it pretty well. 33 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,723 That's good. You're taking it like a man! 34 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:47,476 Stiff upper lip! Getting smart! 35 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,896 - What? - Oh, God! 36 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,106 [Charlie] People say I saved my partner's life that day. 37 00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,733 [Wailing] 38 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:57,027 - So many people get divorced. - [Whines] 39 00:03:57,111 --> 00:04:00,322 And neither one ofyou wanted kids. Now that seems like a stroke ofgenius! 40 00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:03,659 But that didn't console him. I had to act. I had to do something. 41 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:07,162 Mr. Good Time is going to teach you how to live! Yeah! 42 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,832 - Why are there two pieces of luggage? - Oh, just a little jaunt. 43 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:14,336 - Nothing too wild. - [Dan screams] 44 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:19,424 Hey, Mr. Good Times. You said we'd come to Miami, we did. 45 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:20,550 Can we go home now? 46 00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:22,427 - [Siren sounds] - Whoa! 47 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:23,929 - Whoa. - Yeah! 48 00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,555 Does this drink come with a diving board? 49 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,849 It's insane! Just a sip, I think. 50 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,519 So as a best friend, I felt compelled 51 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,230 to give him a gentle reminder ofwhat it was like to be free. 52 00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,608 - I want it to say: "free man!" - [Slurring] Free man. 53 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,068 Big letters, right across his chest. 54 00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:40,070 "Free man!" Comprende? 55 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,241 - [Exclaims in foreign language] - Oh. Good night, nurse. 56 00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:46,243 - [Dan screaming] - [Crowd cheering] 57 00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:48,078 [Charlie] I could have sworn that guy spoke English. 58 00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:51,456 - It was supposed to say "free man." - [Screaming] 59 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,875 [Crowd chanting] Fremont, Fremont, Fremont... 60 00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,378 Free man! 61 00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,090 [Screaming] 62 00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:04,219 [Chuckling] It's funny, guys. Come on. They love it. 63 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,638 Then the unexpected happened. 64 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:10,142 Look at all the babes. Don't look, don't look. Now look. 65 00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:12,311 [Charlie] Fourteen hours after signing his divorce papers, 66 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,980 Dan met Vicki, the girl of his dreams. 67 00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:16,732 - Whoa! - Whoa. 68 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,233 [Charlie] Girl in white, eleven o'clock. 69 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,777 - Yeah, but... - Oh, give her the Queen's wave. 70 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:23,238 - No, the other Queen. - Oh. Hello. 71 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,948 [Charlie] She was traveling with a friend. 72 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,743 I thought maybe the friend was a magician or a jazz dancer, 73 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,328 because ofthe way she was moving her hands. 74 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:31,246 Turns out she's a hand model. 75 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,582 - [Speaks Japanese]... hand model. - A hand model? 76 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:35,042 They model with their hands. 77 00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,628 [Charlie] So, within minutes, Dan is back to his old self. 78 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:42,090 No, scratch that. He's better than his old self. 79 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,592 Charlie, look at these pictures! 80 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,345 My whole life I've never taken a good picture. 81 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:49,348 [Dan and Vicki] ♪ No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be ♪ 82 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,766 [Charlie] I'd never seen him so free, OK? 83 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,101 I mean, so impulsive. He was a changed man. 84 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,354 - [Cracking] - [Grunting] 85 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:57,606 [Charlie] Or maybe not so changed. 86 00:05:57,690 --> 00:06:00,609 It's hard to explain to a guy who's never had an impulsive moment 87 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,111 in his life there's two kinds of impulsives. 88 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,114 The good kind, OK, but this is plain stupid! 89 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,326 That was so romantic. 90 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:17,042 But when he woke up, he remembered, "I wasjust married 14 painful years 91 00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:19,044 - and I've gone and done it again!" - Whoops. 92 00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:24,216 [Charlie] To a woman that he barely knows. His "soul mate." 93 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:25,634 [Speaking Japanese] 94 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:28,470 ...soul mate. - [All] Soul mate! 95 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:29,971 [Men laughing] 96 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,140 Soul mate! 97 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,481 They never laugh this much. 98 00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:44,361 So, a few hours later, my buddy here, my hombre, 99 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:48,240 is the only guy I know that's been divorced twice in a 24-hour period. 100 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:52,744 - Now, that's a true story. - [Speaking Japanese] 101 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:56,498 [All chanting] Fremont! Fremont! Fremont! 102 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:03,880 - It was supposed to say "free man." - But it didn't. It said "Fremont." 103 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,425 It's a big mistake. It's on his chest forever. 104 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:12,013 I don't really think that story honors the feelings I had for her. 105 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,850 No, I'm sorry. Dan, people love that story. 106 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:19,104 So just get up there and do your thing. Because I killed. 107 00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:20,272 Banzai! 108 00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,607 - [Shouting] - Lxnay on the banzai. 109 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,443 - [Charlie groans] - [Dan] Nishamura Media Group 110 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:27,571 entering the US sports market is a huge deal. 111 00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:30,282 Now, I know you've met with larger groups, 112 00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:34,953 but I'm about to show you why working with a boutique firm 113 00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:38,957 run by two seasoned pros is a smart move for you. 114 00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:40,667 [Men cheering] 115 00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:43,170 Forty-seven million dollars over five years. 116 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,714 Man, you better shape up on your Japanese, 117 00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,257 'cause you're going to Tokyo, baby! 118 00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:49,926 Thank you. This is the kind of opportunity I've been looking for. 119 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:53,472 And you will not be sorry. In college my nickname was "GT." 120 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:57,392 - That's "Go To." You go to me. - What's the matterwith you? 121 00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,145 Biggest deal of our lives isn't exciting enough for you? 122 00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:03,273 So it's a done deal now? There are a few small details. 123 00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:04,941 Like next week when Nishamura and his son come to town 124 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,443 we have to win them over on the golf course. 125 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:07,944 - That'll be easy. - I'm great at golf. 126 00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:10,197 Then, two weeks from now, we have to make a presentation 127 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,407 - to their executive board of directors. - Done. 128 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,576 All right, sunshine. What's really wrong with you? 129 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,121 - I was not divorced twice, OK? - [Chuckling] 130 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,915 One ofthem was an annulment. 131 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,501 - Look at that face! - Charlie, don't! 132 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,419 Look at this, Craig. You know what this face is? 133 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,463 - The face of a winner. - This face is willing to hibernate 134 00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:29,341 for six months to make the best deal he could possibly make. 135 00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:33,011 And I don't care who knows it. A toast to my best buddy and business partner, 136 00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:34,846 - Dan Rayburn! Whoo! - Whoo! 137 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,806 - Arigato! - [All cheering] 138 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,273 It all comes down to this. 139 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,775 - I don't think so. - Three, two, one. 140 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,401 This one's the shooter. 141 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:49,736 - [Charlie] Let's see it. - [Craig] Golden moment. 142 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:52,781 - Oh. Uh-oh! - Oh, you're just sinkin' em. 143 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:54,616 Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh. 144 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,701 [Charlie] Let's hit it. There you go. 145 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,203 - [Craig] It's a leaking dog. - Yeah. 146 00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:02,040 That's a... That's a neat trick. How old is that dog? 147 00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:04,543 I lost count. Vet said it was a record. 148 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:07,295 You might want to put a diaper on him, or underwear. 149 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,380 [Dog growls] 150 00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:11,216 - Yo. - Hey. Where you been? 151 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,802 Japanese real estate agents. Some apartments for Craig-san. 152 00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,887 Thank you. I just want to find something authentic. 153 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,973 I've been getting so immersed in Japanese culture, 154 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:20,475 by the time I hit Tokyo, they're going to think I'm part Japanese. 155 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,686 They'll be like, "Who is this local?" 156 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:26,398 I don't care ifyou stay on the top of Mount Fuji. Just bring home the yen. 157 00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:29,150 - This can't be. - What do you got? 158 00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:31,861 - Vicki. - Vicki who? 159 00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:34,072 South Beach Vicki? She's in town. 160 00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:38,118 - She wants to see me. Today. - She just called you out ofthe blue? 161 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,037 - No. - Dan? Dan? 162 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,873 You know last Christmas when I moved in to the condo? 163 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:46,418 I was feeling really lonely. 164 00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,753 And maybe I wrote a seven-to-ten-page single-spaced letter. 165 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:51,047 - Oh, Dan. - [Groans] 166 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,091 You've been using your feelings for this woman 167 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:54,593 to avoid your life for seven years. 168 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:58,763 I set you up in the most exclusive adult-only condo. 169 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,265 You've never been to theme nights. 170 00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:03,268 You never once went to the Sunday morning schmooze and schmeer. 171 00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:05,520 You know, maybe she hasn't moved on either. 172 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,063 - Well, you can't do it. - Why? 173 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,274 Because we're in the middle of our biggest deal ever, 174 00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:10,400 and you don't have the time. 175 00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:13,612 She lives in Vermont. It's perfect. Start of a long-distance relationship. 176 00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,947 You get six to nine months ofthe spa weekends, 177 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,450 late-night phone calls. I'd still have my days free to work. 178 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:20,160 She wants to meet me at Grand Central Station, 179 00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:21,578 and I don't know what I'm supposed to wear. 180 00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:24,122 It's not formal, obviously, it's a train station, 181 00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,583 but do I wear a sport coat, or coat and tie... 182 00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,501 You can wear a sports coat, but you're not going like that. 183 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:29,961 - [Dan] Why? - 'Cause you look like an albino. 184 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,504 [Groans] 185 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:36,676 This is his first time, so you can see his complexion is ghost-like. 186 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:39,054 - What do you think ofthe El Tropical? - Perfect beginner's tan. 187 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,764 - Oh, great. - Yeah. Let's go! 188 00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:42,307 - You all set? - Oh, yeah. 189 00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:47,270 - I'm ready. Alrighty, let's do this. - Um... so... 190 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:50,940 Face forward, press the red button, spray lasts ten seconds. 191 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:54,569 Keep your eyes closed and call me on the intercom when you're done. 192 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,987 OK. 193 00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:02,410 Eyes closed. She wanted a golden god, she's going to get one. 194 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,496 Whoa, um... 195 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,831 - [doors lock] - HAL? 196 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:10,669 I definitely think that the tan line accentuates the look, don't you? 197 00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,295 - Uh-huh. Sexy. - Mmm. 198 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:16,591 I'm gonna start now. [whistling] 199 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,930 [Machine humming] 200 00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:23,640 Whoa! 201 00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:26,559 [♪ Perez Prado and His Orchestra: Mambo No. 5] 202 00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:30,146 [Shrieks] 203 00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,524 One... Whoa! 204 00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:36,528 Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. 205 00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:40,490 Seven. Eight. Nine. OK! 206 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:41,950 Hello! 207 00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:43,910 [Buzzer sounding] 208 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,038 I'm finished! 209 00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,624 Be there in a sec. 210 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,460 So, do you, like, really know Shaq? 211 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,587 - Whose numbers are those? - Oh, my gosh. 212 00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:02,011 - [Buzzing] - We have a problem here! 213 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:06,307 - Shaq! Yeah, Charlie. - It's not turning off! 214 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:09,227 - Tell him your name. - Shaq? Hi, it's Kelly. 215 00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:10,478 Anybody out there? 216 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,814 Do you remember me? I went to one ofyour games. 217 00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:13,898 Help! 218 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,151 Yeah. I don't know who you were playing against, but... 219 00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,361 I have an emergency here! 220 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,572 - Help! - [Groans] 221 00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:24,242 Just relax. Be there in a sec. 222 00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:25,744 Help! 223 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:28,538 - A tanning emergency? - Newbies. 224 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,499 Keep the heat kind of medium... 225 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,502 Throw a little bit of butter, and... 226 00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:56,107 [man on PA] Westbound local now arriving on track two. 227 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,359 Westbound local now arriving. 228 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,616 [Speaking foreign language] 229 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:07,911 I'm from Hoboken. 230 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,249 [Both speaking foreign language] 231 00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:17,378 What am I, the United Nations? This is crazy. 232 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,589 Look, Mom, it's an Oompa-Loompa. 233 00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:21,841 I'm an Oompa-Loompa. I can't do this! 234 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:25,053 - [Sighs] Excuse me... - [Vicki] Dan? 235 00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:28,056 Vicki? 236 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:31,100 - [Laughing] Wow! - [Dan] Hey! 237 00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:33,102 - I mean, hi! - Hi. 238 00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,980 Look at you! You're so tan. 239 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:38,399 Yeah. Yeah. 240 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:41,986 Boca. Volleyball, and... Look at you. You're hot! 241 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,738 - Thanks, Tan. - Dan. 242 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,324 - I mean, Dan. - I'm Tan Dan. 243 00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:47,742 [Both laughing] 244 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,744 I got us a table upstairs. 245 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:50,912 - Let's eat. Yeah. - Shall we? 246 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,753 - [Both] Thank you. - Oh! 247 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,004 [Both chuckling] 248 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:06,219 I really don't know where to start, Dan. But... 249 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,681 I need to share it with... 250 00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:12,642 Stop... in the name of love. 251 00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:18,273 Look, seven years ago, we made magic happen. 252 00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:20,400 But it was bad timing. 253 00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:24,654 Now, we'll take it super slow, there'll be no outside distractions. 254 00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:29,367 Just us. I, um... 255 00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:33,204 I'm ready to put these back together. All I need is your half. 256 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,039 - I'm going to jail. - What? 257 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,458 Tomorrow. Two weeks for trespassing. 258 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,919 - Why? - A chemical company wanted 259 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:43,214 to build a plant that would've drained into a stream near my house. 260 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:46,175 So I kind of chained myself to a bulldozer 261 00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:47,719 and burned the blueprints to the plant. 262 00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,637 Look at you. You're a political activist. 263 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,807 Well, I had ulterior motives. 264 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,768 - You're... Career politician? - My kids. 265 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,979 Zach and Emily play near that stream. 266 00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:00,648 Kids. 267 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,401 You know, I just never thought that... 268 00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:07,405 You... you'd be attached. But... 269 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,782 - Actually, I'm a single mom. - [Exclaims] 270 00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:11,910 You kidder! 271 00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:14,245 - Twins! - Ouch! 272 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:18,124 Yeah. They think I'm going to a spa named Westford Farms. 273 00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:20,126 - Whoops! - [Both chuckle] 274 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:22,045 You remember my best friend, Jenna, from South Beach. 275 00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:23,838 - Oh, yeah. - [Vicki] Yeah, the hand model. 276 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,257 They're staying with her. She's like family. 277 00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:29,886 You got so much going on, girl. Itjust blows my mind. 278 00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:32,722 That's good, because there's one other small detail. 279 00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,682 - What is it? - [Kids] Daddy! 280 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,477 - [Heart beating] - [Salsa music plays] 281 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:39,938 [Explosion sound effects] 282 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,940 You guys weren't supposed to be back for 45 minutes! 283 00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,608 I'm... Da... Da... 284 00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:46,361 Oh! Hey, look who's panicking again. 285 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:47,570 [Laughing] 286 00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:55,203 He does not look good. I'm calling the paramedics. 287 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,330 No! I'm OK. 288 00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:00,124 [Groans] 289 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,251 Guys, would you give us a minute? Please. 290 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:19,852 Dan, I got your letter six months ago, and I won't lie, it threw me for a loop. 291 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:22,313 I was completely ready to go it alone. 292 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:24,941 But here was this... 293 00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:31,447 ...12-page, single-spaced letter from the father of my kids, 294 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:35,076 and suddenly I had to ask if I was being selfish. 295 00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:38,454 Then three weeks ago, we were in Friday's for dinner, 296 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,832 and Zach had to go to the bathroom, and as I was taking him 297 00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:43,501 to the ladies' room for the umpteenth time... 298 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:47,005 ...I realized, he's never even been in a men's room. 299 00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:51,009 - Really? - My kids are seven. They have a father. 300 00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:54,804 So I thought, maybe it's time they got to know who he is. 301 00:16:56,140 --> 00:17:01,269 I have to confess, I've always been a little awkward around children. 302 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:07,358 But I guess, ifthey're your own, it's a different ballgame. 303 00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:11,612 Well, we got a few hours to kill while Jenna goes out on a hand audition. 304 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,781 - Let's find out. - OK. 305 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:19,454 But first, what do you say we get rid ofthat ridiculous tan? 306 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,330 I know a few family secrets. 307 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,541 - You don't like it? - I'm sorry, do you like it? 308 00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:25,710 - Not at all. - [Laughing] OK. 309 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:29,464 - [Vicki] How's your face feel? - Oh, pretty much everything. 310 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:32,175 - Come on, Dad! - Oh, no. 311 00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:34,719 Not the spinning one. That's a recipe for disaster. 312 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:37,305 Hey, Dad? Want to see my Five Favorite Food lists? 313 00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,723 Oh, I'd love to, Z. Thanks. 314 00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,225 - Zach likes to make lists. - I love lists. 315 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,478 - [Dan] Hot wings and milkshakes. - Chocolate? 316 00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:45,146 Oh, no, it gives me diarrhea. 317 00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:49,358 I mean, stomach problems and frequent gas-spasms. 318 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,235 - Oh. - I have to go to the bathroom. 319 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,403 Oh, OK. 320 00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,155 Hang on. Can you watch Emily? 321 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,657 - Sure. - I want to go to the men's room. 322 00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:58,493 With me? 323 00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:00,661 OK. 324 00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,459 [Toilet flushing] 325 00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:11,589 You're pretty old. How come you don't have any other kids? 326 00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:13,341 Well, um... 327 00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,385 Initially, it was kind of a... 328 00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,888 You do know where kids come from, right? 329 00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:21,891 - Yeah, sure. - Can you tell me? 330 00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:27,438 Well, um... 331 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:32,693 In nature, the male and the female ofthe species, uh, 332 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:37,615 in what some have called the "dance of springtime," you know... 333 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:41,244 - [Zach farting] - It's complicated. 334 00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:46,415 - [Zach farts] - Do I just stand here? 335 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,292 My mom usually waits outside. 336 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,419 I'll bet she does. I'm out of here. 337 00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:52,755 [Horn honks] 338 00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,177 OK. 339 00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,931 - Ooh! You're early. - [Vicki] Hi, hon! 340 00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:04,016 I can do my hand cream later. Hi! 341 00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,476 - [Zach] Hi, Aunt Jenna! - [Emily] Hi. 342 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:08,563 Hi, Zach. Hello, Emily! 343 00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:12,108 - I booked it! - [Jenna and Vicki scream] 344 00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:15,570 - I gotta go potty. - All right. Lemonade inside! 345 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,113 - OK, I got them. - I got the bags. 346 00:19:17,197 --> 00:19:19,073 - No, no, it's all right... - No, please. 347 00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:21,659 - [Screaming] - Oh! 348 00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:23,953 Oh, no! I got it. 349 00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:25,496 - OK, I got it. - [Car beeps] 350 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,415 - No, wait. No, please don't. - [Screaming continues] 351 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,333 [Car alarm blaring] 352 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:31,669 - [Mouthing] Oh, my God. - [Dan] Breathe! Breathe! 353 00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:33,254 Oh, sorry! 354 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,174 [Yells] 355 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:39,886 - Oh... - [siren wails] 356 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,806 She's gonna be fine. She's a fighter. 357 00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:46,517 She looks good. You look good, hon. 358 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:53,524 Can you hand me my cell phone? I have to call my agent. 359 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,737 All right. Here we go. Here it is, hon. 360 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:02,200 - Do you want help? - [Groans] No, no. 361 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,076 I'm going to give you a minute. [kisses] 362 00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:07,705 - I'm so sorry. - [Grunting] 363 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,213 Oh, God! What am I gonna do? 364 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:18,633 Come on, you're a great gal. You must have plenty offriends you could call. 365 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:21,219 That I could trust with my kids for two weeks? 366 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:25,223 This is a disaster! I don't have anybody else! 367 00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:28,392 That's not true. No, no. You have me. 368 00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:31,395 - [Sighs] - I'll do it. I'll take the kids. 369 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:32,813 [Vicki exhales, laughs] 370 00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:35,149 [Dan] I'll do it. 371 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,528 - I will. - Really? 372 00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:41,239 Oh, yeah. 373 00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:44,242 - [Both laughing] - Hey, yeah, see? 374 00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:47,954 [Sighs] This is good. This is a good thing. 375 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,206 [Vicki panting] 376 00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:55,378 - Do you know anybody else? - No, just me. 377 00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:58,172 [♪ Free: All Right Now] 378 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:01,342 [Charlie] And then suddenly, you're supposed to take care oftwins 379 00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:03,844 when we have the biggest deal ever? Aw, Dan! 380 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:07,348 I put their aunt in a halo for a month! What am I supposed to do? 381 00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:09,433 You're supposed to give them back! They got 24 hours! 382 00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:11,435 - They'll find another baby-sitter! - I can't give them back! 383 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,771 They're my kids. It's not like puppies. "Take them back." 384 00:21:13,855 --> 00:21:15,940 - Let's break it down. It's two weeks. - OK. 385 00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:17,942 - Yeah. - All right, let's see. We got, uh... 386 00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:19,777 They sleep 10, 12 hours, right, a day? 387 00:21:19,861 --> 00:21:21,445 - Lfyou're lucky. - You've got TV. 388 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:24,949 You've got bathroom time. You give them a lot oftimeouts. 389 00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:26,033 You know what? 390 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,536 You're looking at about 90 minutes of being a dad a day. 391 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:29,870 Ninety minutes? 392 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,747 It's a run-out-the-clock situation, that's all. 393 00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:33,291 - It's not sudden death. - You'll be fine. 394 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:36,544 - Ha! We can do this. - "We?" [laughs] No, no. 395 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:39,463 You are on Planet Dan now, baby. 396 00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:41,966 I'm down here on Earth, just cheering you on. 397 00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:45,928 You started this, remember? You're the one who took me down to Florida. 398 00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:48,764 "Mr. Feel-good" is gonna teach me how to live. 399 00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:52,310 I wasn't alone then, I'm not gonna be alone now, OK? 400 00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:56,147 So, tomorrow morning, 7:30, I want you outside your apartment ready to go. 401 00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:58,566 Because if I'm going to be an old dad for two weeks, 402 00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:01,402 you're going to be "Uncle Charlie." 403 00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:04,697 Well, I don't want to take care ofthe kids! 404 00:22:08,076 --> 00:22:11,120 [Vicki] For both ofthem, I've packed enough clothes for every occasion. 405 00:22:11,204 --> 00:22:12,788 - That everything? - Yeah. 406 00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:15,333 [Sighs] I can't believe I'm doing this. 407 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:16,584 Me, too. 408 00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:19,086 Here's the number for the poison control center. 409 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,130 - Poison control? - Do you need a list of poisons? 410 00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:23,007 No, I think most ofthem I know. 411 00:22:23,091 --> 00:22:25,718 I should have compiled a list of commonly ingested poisons! 412 00:22:25,802 --> 00:22:28,095 I'm not going to poison our children. They're in safe hands. 413 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:29,555 - Have you ever been to a casino? - [Kids] No. 414 00:22:29,639 --> 00:22:31,432 - Have you ever seen the movie Casino? - No. 415 00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:34,518 OK, there are only pay phones in the common room, 416 00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:36,187 so I will call you on your cell phone. 417 00:22:36,271 --> 00:22:37,980 - OK. - And no baby-sitters. 418 00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:40,983 Please, Dan. They've gone seven years without a dad. 419 00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:42,943 Promise me you will not leave them with strangers. 420 00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:45,363 - No strangers. Check. - [Charlie] Dan! Vicki! 421 00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:49,116 The kids have never seen Friday the 13th, part one or two! 422 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:51,160 - Oh, my God! - He's kidding. He's a kidder. 423 00:22:51,244 --> 00:22:53,204 He was scared of The Wizard ofOz. He's kidding. 424 00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:54,789 The monkeys got him nuts. 425 00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:58,125 - Oh, and one more thing. - [Chuckling] I'm up for it. 426 00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:02,213 Well, Emily has kind of concocted this idea that you're a superhero. 427 00:23:02,297 --> 00:23:03,798 Oh. Why? 428 00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:07,051 Well, it was herway of explaining where you were, 429 00:23:07,135 --> 00:23:08,886 and it seemed harmless enough to me. 430 00:23:08,970 --> 00:23:11,597 - What are my powers? - You can stop bullets and you can fly. 431 00:23:11,681 --> 00:23:14,266 - Bulletproof and flying. - One... Two... Three! 432 00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:15,726 - [Kids] Ooh! - [Charlie] Whoa! 433 00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:17,478 - Oh, gosh, I gotta go. - OK. 434 00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:20,856 I'm going to miss them so much. 435 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,400 OK... 436 00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:24,902 Promise me... 437 00:23:24,986 --> 00:23:29,031 You will devote every ounce of your being to taking care ofthem, Dan. 438 00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:30,366 I promise. 439 00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:32,827 - Promise me. - I promise. 440 00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:35,037 [Horns honking] 441 00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:38,582 - So, you're not a superhero? - Not at the present time. 442 00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:39,667 [Honking] 443 00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:42,920 Want to pick up the pace, Chachi? We just got passed by a street sweeper. 444 00:23:43,004 --> 00:23:44,713 How about putting it in drive, grandma? 445 00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:47,883 There are babies on board! Excuse me, kids. 446 00:23:56,977 --> 00:23:59,395 Ooh... Who's up for chocolate chip pancakes? 447 00:23:59,479 --> 00:24:01,981 - [Kids] Me! Me! - No chocolate chips for breakfast. 448 00:24:02,065 --> 00:24:04,608 - Why not? - Kids crave limits. It's in the books. 449 00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:08,070 Hey everybody, let's kick this off with some really healthy choices. 450 00:24:08,155 --> 00:24:09,530 How about the heartland granola? 451 00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:12,074 That's like nature's broom! That's kind ofwonderful. 452 00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:14,201 Hey! Whoa! 453 00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:16,662 - Sorry. - It's OK, Zach. 454 00:24:16,746 --> 00:24:18,539 - Here you go. - It's an accident. 455 00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:20,749 That kind ofthing happens. You have nothing to worry about. 456 00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:22,960 - Hi there. How are you? - [Dan] Hi. 457 00:24:23,044 --> 00:24:25,629 - [Dan] Good. - Well, hello. [chuckling] 458 00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:28,382 - What's your name? - Rochelle. 459 00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:31,427 Oh, Rochelle. [chuckles] 460 00:24:31,511 --> 00:24:34,805 Well, I didn't know they could afford to hire supermodels here. 461 00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:39,310 Hey, Pops? Isn't being a grandparent the best? 462 00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:41,145 I'm not a grandparent. 463 00:24:41,229 --> 00:24:44,982 My grandkids call me "Nub-Nub." What do your grandkids call you? 464 00:24:45,066 --> 00:24:46,150 Nub-Nub's good. 465 00:24:46,234 --> 00:24:47,276 [Woman over PA] Attention, Pamela's diners. 466 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:50,488 We've just been informed we have two new members to the grandparents' club. 467 00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:53,991 [Fanfare plays] 468 00:24:54,075 --> 00:24:57,161 ♪ Hey! Seniors, seniors, seniors! Enjoy the grand buffet! 469 00:24:57,245 --> 00:24:59,997 ♪ Seniors, seniors, seniors! We hope you're here to stay! 470 00:25:00,081 --> 00:25:02,833 ♪ Seniors, seniors, seniors! We like to make a fuss! 471 00:25:02,918 --> 00:25:06,337 ♪ Seniors, seniors, seniors, every tenth meal is 472 00:25:06,421 --> 00:25:10,424 ♪ On us! 473 00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:12,927 - ♪ Seniors, seniors, seniors... - I'll be right back. 474 00:25:14,262 --> 00:25:18,641 Rochelle, Rochelle... I don't know what happened back there. 475 00:25:18,725 --> 00:25:20,518 Just a little too much excitement for me. 476 00:25:21,603 --> 00:25:23,187 Oh, no. 477 00:25:23,271 --> 00:25:25,940 Oh, no, no. This isjust an accident. 478 00:25:26,024 --> 00:25:28,275 Don't worry. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. 479 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:30,444 - I'm not embarrassed. - I'll get you something. 480 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:33,822 It's a glass ofwater, that's all. 481 00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:35,866 One glass ofwater gets my pump going, too. 482 00:25:35,951 --> 00:25:38,118 Uh-huh. Uh... 483 00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:41,956 [Dan] Also, please tell them we are very focused 484 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,542 on the golfgame with Mr. Nishamura. 485 00:25:44,626 --> 00:25:46,043 [Speaking Japanese] 486 00:25:46,127 --> 00:25:48,879 Write that on your resume? "Oh, I pop bubble paper." 487 00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:52,383 - Would you handle them? - [Zach] We want to Xerox our butts. 488 00:25:52,467 --> 00:25:54,468 Will you excuse me for one moment? 489 00:25:54,553 --> 00:25:56,637 Get offthere. I'm sorry, Dan. 490 00:25:56,721 --> 00:25:58,806 - What are you, a frat boy? - I got your phone. 491 00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:01,225 - Timeout. - Ah! Timeout. 492 00:26:01,309 --> 00:26:03,561 - Give that back! Yes. - Keep-away? Are we doing this? 493 00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:06,272 [Zach] Toss it to me, Emily! Toss it to me! 494 00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:10,234 Your Japanese is so terrific. 495 00:26:10,318 --> 00:26:11,902 - You speak Japanese? - Well, no. 496 00:26:11,987 --> 00:26:14,196 But I don't have to speak Japanese 497 00:26:14,281 --> 00:26:17,241 to see how beautiful you are when you speak it. 498 00:26:17,325 --> 00:26:20,411 Don't go out there! Don't go out there! Come back this way. 499 00:26:20,495 --> 00:26:24,456 - Yeah, I'm their favorite uncle. - How old are they? 500 00:26:26,209 --> 00:26:29,211 - How old do you think they are? - Um... 501 00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:34,883 - Seven? - Seven! Yeah. You're good. 502 00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:36,844 - Fraternal twins? - Is there any other kind? 503 00:26:36,928 --> 00:26:39,013 [Both laughing] 504 00:26:40,515 --> 00:26:43,267 Oh, jeez. When you're around kids as much as I am, 505 00:26:43,351 --> 00:26:45,603 you got to develop a sense of humor. 506 00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:48,230 - But it's rewarding, too. - Hmm... 507 00:26:49,024 --> 00:26:51,108 Do you like the beach, "favorite uncle" Charlie? 508 00:26:51,192 --> 00:26:52,192 Love! 509 00:26:53,528 --> 00:26:55,613 Why don't you come to Westport on Saturday. 510 00:26:55,697 --> 00:26:57,364 I'm going to meet some friends at their beach house. 511 00:26:57,449 --> 00:26:59,033 You can even bring your niece and nephew. 512 00:26:59,117 --> 00:27:02,411 Well, I just may do that, "beautiful translator" Amanda. 513 00:27:02,495 --> 00:27:03,495 [Both laugh] 514 00:27:05,081 --> 00:27:07,374 Go camping, learn how to ride a two-wheeler, 515 00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:11,462 my first pro baseball game, refinish a deck and surfing. 516 00:27:11,546 --> 00:27:13,088 That's my Dad List. 517 00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:17,051 That sounds great. Pull up your hoods, OK? 518 00:27:17,135 --> 00:27:20,304 - Put these on, all right? - Why? 519 00:27:20,388 --> 00:27:23,140 Technically, you're not supposed to be here, let alone living here. 520 00:27:23,224 --> 00:27:25,351 But we're going to have a lot offun. Let's go. 521 00:27:27,062 --> 00:27:28,520 [Whispers indistinctly] 522 00:27:32,233 --> 00:27:33,484 Dan? 523 00:27:33,568 --> 00:27:35,694 Ooh! Betty. Hide! Go, go! 524 00:27:35,779 --> 00:27:37,780 - Dan, is that you? - Hey, Betty! 525 00:27:37,864 --> 00:27:41,659 - Hi! You are looking good. - You, too, baby. 526 00:27:41,743 --> 00:27:44,495 [Laughing] What's all that racket? 527 00:27:44,579 --> 00:27:46,872 I don't know. Maybe immigrants. I'm not sure. 528 00:27:46,956 --> 00:27:48,332 Raccoons, most likely. 529 00:27:48,416 --> 00:27:50,584 No... Oh, my God, I see kids! 530 00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:52,795 - No, these are my... - I see kids! 531 00:27:52,879 --> 00:27:54,797 - [Screaming] - [Shouting] 532 00:27:54,881 --> 00:27:56,423 [Siren wails] 533 00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:59,301 Why don't you put them in a hotel? They would love room service. 534 00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:02,012 [Dan] They'd also love a spa, but we can't... Don't run! Careful! 535 00:28:02,097 --> 00:28:04,932 - Don't touch that! - [Dan] Easy. Slow down! No running! 536 00:28:05,016 --> 00:28:07,017 Watch out! A lot of expensive things... 537 00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:08,727 - Are you out ofyour mind? - Why? 538 00:28:08,812 --> 00:28:09,853 Come on! 539 00:28:09,938 --> 00:28:12,147 Listen. You're the one that forced me into that place. 540 00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:15,526 - I cajoled you, I cajoled you. - Don't give me semantics. 541 00:28:15,610 --> 00:28:17,319 Look, they're going upstairs now! 542 00:28:18,947 --> 00:28:21,865 This is my crib, man! This is where I get down. 543 00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:25,369 This is where I sink the three points. This is where I throw the TD. 544 00:28:25,453 --> 00:28:27,579 This isn't for kids, man. 545 00:28:27,664 --> 00:28:30,874 Look, that pool out there, that's got a 15-foot deep end. 546 00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:34,336 Look at this place! I got pointy-edged furniture. I got... 547 00:28:34,421 --> 00:28:36,296 Those spears probably still have poison on them. 548 00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:38,132 You don't want them in this house. 549 00:28:38,216 --> 00:28:43,512 I do not lead a child-safe life, man! 550 00:28:43,596 --> 00:28:45,806 It is not... not how I roll. You know? 551 00:28:45,890 --> 00:28:47,725 - Charlie... - [sighs] 552 00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:50,227 - I'm barely treading water here. - Aw, don't... 553 00:28:50,311 --> 00:28:52,813 I don't know these kids very long, but I'm still their dad. 554 00:28:52,897 --> 00:28:56,859 And they need a home. And so do I. 555 00:28:56,943 --> 00:28:59,194 Right now, you're the closest thing we got. 556 00:29:04,659 --> 00:29:06,243 [Sighs] 557 00:29:06,327 --> 00:29:08,370 Thanks, bro. You're the best. 558 00:29:10,081 --> 00:29:12,750 OK. You went emotional and it paid off. 559 00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:14,710 - Good. - This time. 560 00:29:14,794 --> 00:29:16,086 OK. 561 00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:18,922 [♪ Brett Dennen: Make You Crazy] 562 00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:22,050 Oh, it's Vicki! Kids! 563 00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:25,220 Well, first everybody thought Dad was our grandpa. 564 00:29:25,305 --> 00:29:28,891 Then he pretty much worked the rest ofthe day. 565 00:29:28,975 --> 00:29:32,019 [Slowly] "Everything is fine." 566 00:29:32,103 --> 00:29:35,689 And he did say he was going to do the first thing on Zach's Dad List. 567 00:29:35,774 --> 00:29:38,859 That sounds promising. See? This is gonna be great. 568 00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:40,110 Here's Dad. 569 00:29:41,529 --> 00:29:43,572 Hey, Vic. Didn't she sound wonderful? 570 00:29:43,656 --> 00:29:45,949 - How's everything going? - I'm OK. 571 00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:48,285 Don't you worry a moment about how things are going here 572 00:29:48,369 --> 00:29:50,704 because everything's going great. 573 00:29:52,582 --> 00:29:56,084 OK, you guys... lights out. 574 00:29:57,295 --> 00:29:58,629 [Dan] OK. 575 00:29:58,713 --> 00:30:01,256 Alrighty. There you go. 576 00:30:01,341 --> 00:30:04,343 - You have your creature? Good. - I do. 577 00:30:07,138 --> 00:30:09,014 - You OK? - Mm-hm. 578 00:30:10,225 --> 00:30:11,475 Good night. 579 00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:40,003 I just shook my daughter's hand good night. 580 00:30:42,924 --> 00:30:44,633 I'm no good at this, Charlie. 581 00:30:44,717 --> 00:30:47,803 Come on. You're trying. That's what matters. 582 00:30:47,887 --> 00:30:48,887 Thanks. 583 00:30:54,477 --> 00:30:56,228 They are cute, though. 584 00:30:56,312 --> 00:31:01,483 Yeah. They are when they're in a... dormant configuration. 585 00:31:09,576 --> 00:31:12,786 - [Pounding, drilling] - [Whimpers] 586 00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:14,872 [Man] Whoo-wee! Look at this, Nick! 587 00:31:14,956 --> 00:31:17,249 [Drill buzzing] 588 00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:25,465 - Ready for the other one? - Don't get drill happy. 589 00:31:25,550 --> 00:31:27,217 [Man] No, no, no. It's all good. 590 00:31:27,302 --> 00:31:29,177 - [Drill buzzing] - Hey! 591 00:31:29,262 --> 00:31:31,179 [Tool dropping] 592 00:31:31,264 --> 00:31:33,974 - What are you doing? - Sir, it's cool. 593 00:31:34,058 --> 00:31:36,977 That's Nick and I'm Gary. We're the childproofers. 594 00:31:37,061 --> 00:31:39,396 - Really? - I'm going to need access 595 00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,982 to all your personal drawers and stuff. 596 00:31:42,066 --> 00:31:46,570 - Dan! Dan! Did you do this? - Charlie! 597 00:31:46,654 --> 00:31:48,238 - Oh, yeah. - Did you bring them in? 598 00:31:48,323 --> 00:31:49,698 - Definitely. - Why? 599 00:31:49,782 --> 00:31:52,075 You described this house as being a dangerous place for kids, 600 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,036 so I hired the best childproofers there are. 601 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:57,247 The tall guy over there, he was a civil engineer. 602 00:31:57,332 --> 00:31:59,833 What kind of a civil engineer would be baby-proofing a house? 603 00:32:03,338 --> 00:32:06,506 Failed one, sir, I'm a failed civil engineer. 604 00:32:06,591 --> 00:32:10,552 I got a lot of bad road behind me. Lot of potholes. 605 00:32:10,637 --> 00:32:13,680 That's why I'm going to be extra vigilant in protecting your children. 606 00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:15,515 They're seven. And they're his kids. 607 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:17,351 - That's true. - That's progressive, 608 00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:19,102 - and I'm all for it. - Oh, come on! 609 00:32:19,187 --> 00:32:23,023 Even I know you do not baby-proof a house for seven-year-olds. 610 00:32:23,107 --> 00:32:25,233 - Oh! - What about the 15-foot deep end? 611 00:32:25,318 --> 00:32:27,778 Sir, you got a flamethrower for a fireplace. 612 00:32:27,862 --> 00:32:30,280 - It's a fashion. It's a style. - The spears? 613 00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:32,115 What guy buys poison-tipped spears? 614 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:35,243 A thousand years ago they were poison. I don't know ifthey're poison now. 615 00:32:35,328 --> 00:32:37,120 You bought those a thousand years ago? 616 00:32:37,205 --> 00:32:40,415 - Expect me to believe that? - You designed this house of horrors. 617 00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:43,627 You brought the kids to this house. Stop it! Don't eat that. 618 00:32:43,711 --> 00:32:45,128 Those are dog treats. 619 00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:49,299 Everything tastes like dog food after that smoked salmon I just had. 620 00:32:49,384 --> 00:32:50,550 You ate the salmon? 621 00:32:52,136 --> 00:32:56,056 - That was a gift. - Yes, it was. 622 00:32:58,768 --> 00:33:01,144 - You guys better pack. - Pack? 623 00:33:01,229 --> 00:33:03,355 - Why are you dressed like that? - What do we pack for? 624 00:33:03,439 --> 00:33:05,649 Camping. That's first on my Dad List. 625 00:33:05,733 --> 00:33:09,027 And we're Pioneers, so you have to find the nearest campground. 626 00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:12,239 We have 50 files of Nishamura work to do before Saturday. 627 00:33:12,323 --> 00:33:15,450 Guys, camping... I don't think we can do it. 628 00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:17,828 - [Zach] But you promised! - [Dan] I know I promised, 629 00:33:17,912 --> 00:33:22,040 but I didn't realize camping involved a camping trip, and we have to reschedule. 630 00:33:22,125 --> 00:33:24,459 - [Zach] But you promised. - Sometimes promises 631 00:33:24,544 --> 00:33:27,879 - aren't written in stone. - [Both] But you promised! 632 00:33:47,608 --> 00:33:52,154 [Inhaling] We've been a Pioneer family for four generations now. 633 00:33:52,238 --> 00:33:56,283 I practically grew up in these woods following Grandpa Ted. 634 00:33:56,367 --> 00:33:59,494 Gramps was troop leader 63 years ago, 635 00:33:59,579 --> 00:34:03,540 and was the recipient ofthe supreme Pioneer honor. 636 00:34:03,624 --> 00:34:06,418 Interred for eternity... 637 00:34:09,756 --> 00:34:13,592 ...in a tomb erected with his own hands, 638 00:34:13,676 --> 00:34:16,636 right here on this... on this very campsite. 639 00:34:18,681 --> 00:34:19,681 [Shuddering] 640 00:34:21,809 --> 00:34:23,560 Not in front ofthe kids. 641 00:34:23,644 --> 00:34:27,105 Hey. Hey. Psst. 642 00:34:27,190 --> 00:34:31,818 Hey! You remind me ofthat old dude who stole my girlfriend. 643 00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:34,988 - What? - [Man] I promised myself... 644 00:34:35,073 --> 00:34:37,199 Yeah, you. You! Mr. Wall-of-Hair. 645 00:34:37,283 --> 00:34:39,826 Rick, you're a counselor here. This is sacred ground. 646 00:34:39,911 --> 00:34:42,496 - Something I got to tell you. - The Pioneers have meant 647 00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:48,001 the world to the Taylor clan. That's who I am. 648 00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:51,922 Troop leader. Patriot. TSA supervisor. 649 00:34:52,006 --> 00:34:55,759 And dad. I am Barry Taylor. 650 00:34:55,843 --> 00:34:59,429 - [Computer beeping] - [Phone beeping] 651 00:34:59,514 --> 00:35:03,600 Gentlemen, why don't we put down the electronic devices, 652 00:35:03,684 --> 00:35:05,727 and try to get into it a little bit? 653 00:35:05,812 --> 00:35:11,691 Hmm? After all... we're here for the kids. 654 00:35:11,776 --> 00:35:14,236 Fine. 655 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,364 - [Phone rings] - [Mouthing] Sorry. 656 00:35:23,037 --> 00:35:24,788 Here for the kids? What's he talking about? 657 00:35:24,872 --> 00:35:27,082 OK, kids. Who wants to have some fun? 658 00:35:27,166 --> 00:35:28,875 - [All cheer] - Yeah! 659 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,045 - Let's go dig a hole. - [All cheer] 660 00:35:32,130 --> 00:35:34,381 - What's your problem? - How about we go dig a hole. 661 00:35:34,465 --> 00:35:36,133 He's giving me the stink eye. 662 00:35:36,217 --> 00:35:40,053 You thief. I loved her. I loved her so much. 663 00:35:40,138 --> 00:35:42,055 - What are you saying? - My beef is not with you, old woman. 664 00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:44,432 - Thank you. - [Growling softly] 665 00:35:44,517 --> 00:35:48,311 - OK, now I got it. - He has a lot. 666 00:35:48,396 --> 00:35:50,397 [Indistinct chattering] 667 00:35:52,233 --> 00:35:55,652 Hey, Zach, Emily. Why don't you get your grandpa 668 00:35:55,736 --> 00:35:57,487 - to leave the office... - [giggling] 669 00:35:57,572 --> 00:35:59,489 ...and come over here and join us in the woods? 670 00:35:59,574 --> 00:36:01,867 He's not our grandpa, he's our dad. 671 00:36:06,664 --> 00:36:12,169 Sure, Zach. My grandpa was like a dad to me, too. 672 00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:16,506 He is, Troop Master Barry. He's my dad, and that's his partner. 673 00:36:16,591 --> 00:36:19,342 - It's like we have two dads! - [Dan] Just found out. 674 00:36:19,427 --> 00:36:21,386 Trust me. It was a surprise. 675 00:36:21,929 --> 00:36:24,014 - Been together 30 years. - Feels like 50. 676 00:36:25,474 --> 00:36:28,059 - [Dan] Oh, well... - We're soul mates, really. 677 00:36:28,144 --> 00:36:31,021 You must have a best buddy. 678 00:36:31,105 --> 00:36:33,148 [Dan] Yeah. A pal? Someone you can... 679 00:36:34,233 --> 00:36:36,067 - Fine. - Take care. 680 00:36:36,152 --> 00:36:37,694 - Loner. - Loner. 681 00:36:37,778 --> 00:36:39,279 - Loser! - Loser. 682 00:36:41,115 --> 00:36:43,742 - [Charlie] No bears allowed. - [Zach] Thank you, Troop Master Barry. 683 00:36:43,826 --> 00:36:47,078 - [Emily] Thanks. - No trouble at all, kids. 684 00:36:47,163 --> 00:36:49,497 You ladies ready to play a little Ultimate Frisbee? 685 00:36:49,582 --> 00:36:52,334 - I think so, Mr. Testosterone. - [Charlie] Yeah. 686 00:36:52,418 --> 00:36:54,377 [Dan] Ultimate Frisbee? That's our game. 687 00:36:54,462 --> 00:36:58,506 - Let's do this for our kids, huh? - Yeah! 688 00:36:58,591 --> 00:37:01,551 Come on, man. Let's do it. Yeah, for the kids. Yeah, baby. 689 00:37:01,636 --> 00:37:03,678 All right, let's do this. Sports marketing! 690 00:37:03,763 --> 00:37:06,598 Sports marketing! Yeah! Make the deal. Get them! 691 00:37:07,850 --> 00:37:11,811 - That's bear scat, gentlemen. - Yeah... Yeah, it is. 692 00:37:12,855 --> 00:37:14,397 - [Zach] Dad? - Yeah? 693 00:37:14,482 --> 00:37:16,066 I think "scat" is poop. 694 00:37:17,109 --> 00:37:19,236 - Really, son? - [Zach] Yeah. 695 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:22,239 - You wiped poop on my face? - Yeah. 696 00:37:23,282 --> 00:37:25,033 Scat happens, man. 697 00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:28,328 [♪ Vangelis: Chariots ofFire] 698 00:37:38,297 --> 00:37:41,925 [All] One, two, three, four, 699 00:37:42,009 --> 00:37:45,428 five, six, seven, eight... 700 00:37:53,813 --> 00:37:55,438 [groaning] 701 00:37:55,523 --> 00:37:58,692 - [Bones cracking] - Aah... 702 00:37:58,776 --> 00:38:03,405 - [moaning] - [Bones cracking] 703 00:38:03,489 --> 00:38:05,699 - [Whistle blowing] - [Cheering] 704 00:38:06,701 --> 00:38:08,910 [Charlie] Go long! 705 00:38:11,038 --> 00:38:14,624 - [Moaning] - [Grunting] 706 00:38:14,709 --> 00:38:18,795 - Yes! Yeah, baby! - [Cheering] 707 00:38:18,879 --> 00:38:20,547 Barry! I'm over here, I'm open! 708 00:38:20,631 --> 00:38:21,631 [Grunts] 709 00:38:21,716 --> 00:38:24,050 [Moans, grunts] 710 00:38:24,135 --> 00:38:26,428 - Hey! - I'm open! 711 00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:31,474 - Oh! - Get... 712 00:38:31,559 --> 00:38:35,145 [moaning] 713 00:38:35,229 --> 00:38:41,192 - Sorry. - Ow, my gums! 714 00:38:42,903 --> 00:38:45,280 You get yourwingman to fight your battles for you? 715 00:38:45,364 --> 00:38:47,824 - I didn't take yourwoman. - I'm a man. 716 00:38:47,908 --> 00:38:50,994 - I don't know yourwoman! - First you steal Janice Applebaum. 717 00:38:51,078 --> 00:38:53,621 - You're confused! - Then you steal my soul. 718 00:38:53,706 --> 00:38:57,083 - What? - Now it's on, smiley. 719 00:38:57,168 --> 00:38:59,711 Prison rules! 720 00:39:00,504 --> 00:39:03,590 - [Mouthing] Prison rules? - Oh, boy. 721 00:39:03,674 --> 00:39:06,634 [♪ The Hives: Hate to Say I Told You So] 722 00:39:07,887 --> 00:39:10,930 - Whoo! [grunts] - [Cheering] 723 00:39:11,015 --> 00:39:13,850 - [Cackling] - Come on, Dad. You can get up. 724 00:39:15,811 --> 00:39:17,479 - [Grunts] - Never mind. 725 00:39:19,940 --> 00:39:21,274 Back, back, back, back. 726 00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:22,442 - [Grunts] - Time out. 727 00:39:22,526 --> 00:39:25,362 - [Grunting] - Ah! 728 00:39:25,446 --> 00:39:27,405 - [Shouting] - [Sound of plane diving] 729 00:39:27,490 --> 00:39:28,656 [Dan] Get off of me! 730 00:39:28,741 --> 00:39:31,785 - [Bellowing] - [Bones crunching] 731 00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:34,954 [Gasps] 732 00:39:36,624 --> 00:39:39,626 Stay down, gentle warrior. 733 00:39:39,710 --> 00:39:42,462 - [Cheering] - Ooh... 734 00:39:45,925 --> 00:39:48,426 - Pull. - [Disc whizzing] 735 00:39:48,511 --> 00:39:50,178 [Disc shattering] 736 00:39:51,555 --> 00:39:54,015 - Textbook double bull's eye. - Nice, Barry. 737 00:39:55,226 --> 00:40:00,063 That's how you get yourself a chest full of merit patches. Anyone else? 738 00:40:00,689 --> 00:40:02,273 Pull! 739 00:40:04,318 --> 00:40:07,695 - Barry... - I said... pull! 740 00:40:15,329 --> 00:40:18,498 - [Gasps] - [Murmuring] 741 00:40:18,582 --> 00:40:20,166 [Chuckles] My bad! 742 00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:23,711 - No! - [Indistinct chattering] 743 00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:27,924 - Grandpa Ted! - We should get our merit patches 744 00:40:28,008 --> 00:40:31,803 - just for being his kids. - Sorry! How bad is it? 745 00:40:31,887 --> 00:40:33,805 - Bad! - OK. 746 00:40:45,025 --> 00:40:48,111 As a result ofyour little outdoor adventure, 747 00:40:48,195 --> 00:40:51,406 I just want you to know that my sciatica has flared up, 748 00:40:51,490 --> 00:40:52,866 and I stink like a steakhouse. 749 00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:54,409 - So thanks. - Oh, you're welcome. 750 00:40:54,493 --> 00:40:55,785 Don't mind the fact that I took 751 00:40:55,870 --> 00:40:58,079 a three-day camping trip and shortened it to nine hours. 752 00:40:58,164 --> 00:41:01,749 - I made fire! Wow! - Oh, no! 753 00:41:02,251 --> 00:41:04,961 That's not good. Get the car ready. 754 00:41:05,045 --> 00:41:08,298 Little collateral damage, but we're back on track with the deal. 755 00:41:08,382 --> 00:41:11,384 Now it's all about the golfgame. How's your back? 756 00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:13,303 - Tight. - Untighten it. 757 00:41:13,387 --> 00:41:16,347 Because Nishamura uses golf as a metaphor for life. 758 00:41:16,432 --> 00:41:19,309 So ifyou mess that up, it's sayonara, Nishamura. 759 00:41:20,227 --> 00:41:24,147 - One of my little magic pills. - My housekeeper happens to 760 00:41:24,231 --> 00:41:27,025 arrange them in an organized circular fashion, like so. 761 00:41:27,109 --> 00:41:28,902 - Pardon-moi. - Yes. 762 00:41:28,986 --> 00:41:31,738 That's amazing. When did we become our fathers? 763 00:41:31,822 --> 00:41:33,573 Man, I'd like to see Troop Leader Barry 764 00:41:33,657 --> 00:41:35,617 deal with the side effects of even one ofthese puppies. 765 00:41:35,701 --> 00:41:38,077 Look at this. For my aging prostate. 766 00:41:38,162 --> 00:41:39,829 - Right. - Side effects include 767 00:41:39,914 --> 00:41:43,291 swollen tongue, dry mouth and pus-filled canker sores. 768 00:41:43,375 --> 00:41:45,752 - Come on. - This is a joint anti-inflammatory. 769 00:41:45,836 --> 00:41:49,005 Maximum dosage may cause bouts of uncontrollable appetite. 770 00:41:49,089 --> 00:41:51,341 That's not so bad. The munchies. I could deal with that. 771 00:41:51,425 --> 00:41:53,259 Look at this one. High blood pressure. 772 00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:56,095 "Watch out for sudden loss of depth perception." 773 00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:59,224 This tiny pill lowers your bad cholesterol. 774 00:41:59,308 --> 00:42:02,227 But the first time I took it, partial facial paralysis. 775 00:42:02,311 --> 00:42:04,938 - Come on. - I froze up like a circus clown. 776 00:42:05,022 --> 00:42:06,189 - I was, like, "Ha." - [Charlie] You're kidding. 777 00:42:06,273 --> 00:42:07,607 Yeah, like... [mutters] 778 00:42:08,692 --> 00:42:11,486 - Threw my back out. - Man... 779 00:42:13,447 --> 00:42:16,032 - How much longerwe got? - One week, four days, nine hours. 780 00:42:16,116 --> 00:42:20,161 - Mmm... Good Lord. - God help us all. 781 00:42:22,122 --> 00:42:24,707 Hey, Dad, I'm in desperate need of a King Fontana. 782 00:42:24,792 --> 00:42:26,584 - You want to play? - My doctor says that 783 00:42:26,669 --> 00:42:29,128 I can't get down on the floor, even crouch, on a golf day. 784 00:42:29,213 --> 00:42:32,006 It seems I have a genetic predisposition to knee problems. 785 00:42:32,091 --> 00:42:35,051 That means you have it, too. So you have to be very careful. 786 00:42:35,135 --> 00:42:36,678 Nick, I told you not to use epoxy. 787 00:42:36,762 --> 00:42:39,222 It's going to leave a permanent stain and an odor. 788 00:42:39,306 --> 00:42:42,392 Why can't you ever tell me I did a good job? 789 00:42:42,476 --> 00:42:44,394 All right, maestro, how do I do this? 790 00:42:44,478 --> 00:42:49,065 Um, OK... You want to go quarter turn clockwise, 791 00:42:49,149 --> 00:42:52,569 grab the lever, then use the counter lever to spin 180 degrees... 792 00:42:52,653 --> 00:42:54,904 [Emily] Why are you charging that in here? 793 00:42:54,989 --> 00:42:58,825 I keep getting in Dad's way. He can't do any business in here, right? 794 00:42:58,909 --> 00:43:01,452 Release like that, and voilà. 795 00:43:04,582 --> 00:43:06,749 [Emily] Check ifthey have kids' toothpaste. 796 00:43:06,834 --> 00:43:09,127 That old people stuff burns my... 797 00:43:12,089 --> 00:43:16,009 - Should we tell? - I think I rememberwhere they go. 798 00:43:17,011 --> 00:43:18,928 [Zach] We'll put this one in... 799 00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:22,056 - [Emily] This one in here. - [Zach] Put them in here. 800 00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:25,101 [♪ The Clash: Police on myBack] 801 00:43:30,190 --> 00:43:31,566 [Grunting] 802 00:43:35,821 --> 00:43:37,947 Ooh... Mmm. 803 00:43:41,410 --> 00:43:42,410 [Grunting] 804 00:43:56,759 --> 00:43:58,343 What am I doing? They're guys. 805 00:43:59,053 --> 00:44:00,970 [Whimpers] 806 00:44:04,350 --> 00:44:07,727 OK, guys, let's go! Are you guys still hungry? 807 00:44:07,811 --> 00:44:09,771 - We just ate. - So did you. 808 00:44:09,855 --> 00:44:11,522 I know, but I'm starved. 809 00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:26,454 That's weird. Hmm. 810 00:44:27,081 --> 00:44:29,290 Do you have candy bars on you? Don't lie to me. 811 00:44:29,375 --> 00:44:31,167 - What's wrong with him? - I don't know. 812 00:44:31,251 --> 00:44:33,670 - Hey! - Hey! You made it. 813 00:44:33,754 --> 00:44:36,255 - We made it. Yeah. - Can we go play? 814 00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:38,841 Go ahead. There's games over there. Check it out. 815 00:44:39,593 --> 00:44:41,177 Catch you later. 816 00:44:45,974 --> 00:44:49,519 - Oh! - Wow. You got a lot offriends. 817 00:44:49,603 --> 00:44:51,979 Oh, well, they're not actually all my friends. 818 00:44:52,064 --> 00:44:53,856 It's a bereavement group I belong to. 819 00:44:53,941 --> 00:44:55,400 - Bereavement? - Yeah. 820 00:44:55,484 --> 00:44:57,485 My grandma passed away six months ago. 821 00:44:57,569 --> 00:44:59,904 - I'm sorry. - Everyone here is dealing with loss. 822 00:44:59,988 --> 00:45:01,948 And then on the weekends we have a potluck. 823 00:45:02,950 --> 00:45:04,784 Potluck? Where? 824 00:45:05,994 --> 00:45:08,162 Mr. Nishamura. It's an honor. 825 00:45:11,166 --> 00:45:13,167 - Nice to meet you. - You, too. 826 00:45:13,836 --> 00:45:14,836 Oh. 827 00:45:15,546 --> 00:45:17,922 - My son, Riku. - Riku. 828 00:45:18,966 --> 00:45:22,009 - Yeah, hey. Hey. Hey... - Hey. Hey. Hey. 829 00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:24,011 Oh! [groans] 830 00:45:24,096 --> 00:45:27,014 [Both groaning] 831 00:45:27,975 --> 00:45:30,977 - Thank you. - [Muttering] 832 00:45:31,061 --> 00:45:32,353 [Gulping] 833 00:45:36,108 --> 00:45:38,192 [Garbled] Tongue is swollen. 834 00:45:38,819 --> 00:45:43,823 We are dedicating lunch today to our brave Justine, 835 00:45:43,907 --> 00:45:47,326 who passed awayjust two days ago. 836 00:45:47,411 --> 00:45:50,913 [Garbled] Voicemail. No! Charlie, it's me. 837 00:45:50,998 --> 00:45:53,499 I think we switch peers. 838 00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:55,084 I love cupcakes! 839 00:45:55,169 --> 00:46:00,173 She left us a gift of one of her world-famous rhubarb pies, 840 00:46:00,257 --> 00:46:05,762 that she baked through her pain ofthe last few hours of her life. 841 00:46:05,846 --> 00:46:11,017 - Good mercy! - No talk. Nishamura. Call me. 842 00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:14,854 Are you ready? 843 00:46:18,484 --> 00:46:21,027 That's Justine's rhubarb pie! 844 00:46:21,111 --> 00:46:24,280 Where is she? I want to give Justine a big hug. 845 00:46:24,364 --> 00:46:28,701 - She's dead. - My condolences. 846 00:46:28,786 --> 00:46:31,204 She's dead! 847 00:46:34,958 --> 00:46:39,337 She's dead! She's dead! Give me it! Dead! She's dead! 848 00:46:39,421 --> 00:46:41,464 That's a close second. 849 00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:46,010 Ooh... Ah! 850 00:46:50,974 --> 00:46:53,476 - Is my face twitching? - You look great. 851 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:56,103 You look... great. 852 00:46:56,188 --> 00:46:58,314 Charlie? Are you OK? 853 00:46:58,398 --> 00:47:01,150 I am so sorry about that whole pie thing. 854 00:47:01,235 --> 00:47:03,653 It must be my blood sugar or something. 855 00:47:03,737 --> 00:47:06,030 It's OK. I think I calmed them down. 856 00:47:06,114 --> 00:47:07,782 Come on. We're having circle time. 857 00:47:07,866 --> 00:47:10,535 - Circle time? - It's when the whole group 858 00:47:10,619 --> 00:47:12,161 gathers and shares their grief. 859 00:47:12,246 --> 00:47:16,916 Oh... Guys, I'll be back. I got to go to circle time. 860 00:47:23,298 --> 00:47:25,842 - Um... Hey, Dan? - Hmm? 861 00:47:25,926 --> 00:47:30,680 How are you doing? I recently put down $3,000 on an authentic Japanese kimono. 862 00:47:33,725 --> 00:47:35,309 I just want to make sure it goes OK. 863 00:47:48,907 --> 00:47:52,368 Aah... Aah... 864 00:47:57,541 --> 00:47:58,624 [retching] 865 00:47:58,709 --> 00:48:04,088 Dan-san, would you like to use my club? 866 00:48:06,133 --> 00:48:08,134 Is that a "yes"? 867 00:48:08,218 --> 00:48:11,512 - Why is he ignoring my father? - No, he'sjust really intense. 868 00:48:11,597 --> 00:48:16,684 He excludes all but the game. A focus you could learn, my son. 869 00:48:16,768 --> 00:48:19,020 [Speaks Japanese] 870 00:48:26,445 --> 00:48:29,322 - Ooh... - I knew it. Oh, gosh. 871 00:48:29,406 --> 00:48:33,409 Breathe. Just breathe through it. Walk it off. Walk it off. 872 00:48:33,493 --> 00:48:35,077 We're good. We're good. Just take a shot. 873 00:48:35,162 --> 00:48:37,705 Itjust passes, and then... [gasps] And then it comes back. 874 00:48:37,789 --> 00:48:42,543 After nine months of excruciating pain, 875 00:48:42,628 --> 00:48:47,673 - the cancer had spread. - We're all here for you. 876 00:48:52,012 --> 00:48:55,681 - Do you think this is funny? - He thinks it's funny. 877 00:48:55,766 --> 00:48:57,600 Everybody grieves in their own way. 878 00:48:57,684 --> 00:48:59,852 - That's true. - If I don't laugh, I'll cry. 879 00:49:09,988 --> 00:49:11,322 [Squawks] 880 00:49:15,619 --> 00:49:18,454 The golfgods look favorably upon you. 881 00:49:18,538 --> 00:49:22,083 This is a very good omen. 882 00:49:26,088 --> 00:49:29,382 [♪ Dean Martin: Grazie, Prego, Scusi] 883 00:49:33,387 --> 00:49:35,096 That was some delicious pie. 884 00:49:50,737 --> 00:49:53,114 [Charlie] Dan, have you seen the Nishamura file? 885 00:49:53,198 --> 00:49:56,242 Hey Dad, maybe tomorrow you can teach me how to ride a two-wheel. 886 00:49:56,326 --> 00:49:57,994 I got a lot on my mind right now. 887 00:49:58,078 --> 00:50:00,162 I'm trying to focus, finish this business deal. 888 00:50:00,247 --> 00:50:02,498 Come on, Dad. You're not even trying. 889 00:50:02,582 --> 00:50:07,503 I'm struggling, OK? That's like trying, itjust... without succeeding. 890 00:50:15,595 --> 00:50:18,055 Oh, come on. He unplugged the fax machine. 891 00:50:18,140 --> 00:50:20,808 Two open plugs and he has to unplug the fax machine 892 00:50:20,892 --> 00:50:23,811 - to plug in his little gaming system. - [Charlie] Big deal. Come on. 893 00:50:23,895 --> 00:50:26,272 You can't run a business ifyou can't get faxes on time. 894 00:50:26,356 --> 00:50:28,399 This is the reason I didn't want to have kids. 895 00:50:32,154 --> 00:50:33,988 I wasn't talking about you, Zach. 896 00:50:37,826 --> 00:50:39,326 Hey, Zach. 897 00:50:40,287 --> 00:50:43,539 Hey, Zach. Zach... 898 00:50:44,791 --> 00:50:46,792 - Zachary! - [Toy squeaks] 899 00:51:00,348 --> 00:51:04,226 I defaced a venerated monument, literally. Burned down a campground. 900 00:51:04,311 --> 00:51:07,438 My son, for all intents and purposes, is giving up on me. 901 00:51:07,522 --> 00:51:09,607 I'm failing them everywhere I look. 902 00:51:09,691 --> 00:51:13,110 Emily, one minute she wants me to be a superhero, 903 00:51:13,195 --> 00:51:16,989 - the next minute a lion, then a king. - Then be a king, you idiot! 904 00:51:17,074 --> 00:51:20,117 Be a superhero, be a lion, be whatever she wants. 905 00:51:21,703 --> 00:51:24,830 Don't you get it? She just wants someone to protect her. 906 00:51:26,333 --> 00:51:28,501 - That's it? - Yes. 907 00:51:28,585 --> 00:51:31,253 You have to be on their level. Be like them. 908 00:51:31,338 --> 00:51:33,672 You know what my dad gave me for my fifth birthday? 909 00:51:33,757 --> 00:51:36,175 - What? - A calculator. 910 00:51:37,511 --> 00:51:40,429 I don't know what it is about me 911 00:51:40,514 --> 00:51:44,600 that sees you in a crisis and then comes galloping to your rescue. 912 00:51:44,684 --> 00:51:46,894 But I guess I am who I am, aren't I? 913 00:51:49,189 --> 00:51:51,732 You need help connecting with these kids? 914 00:51:51,817 --> 00:51:53,359 I'm going to find you help. 915 00:51:54,653 --> 00:51:57,780 - [Up-tempo music playing] - [Children cheering] 916 00:51:57,864 --> 00:52:01,534 [Children chanting] Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy! 917 00:52:01,618 --> 00:52:05,496 [♪ Roger: So Ruff So Tuff] 918 00:52:26,643 --> 00:52:27,935 - Whoo! - Rocked it, baby. 919 00:52:28,019 --> 00:52:29,979 Ladies, beautiful as always. 920 00:52:30,063 --> 00:52:31,981 - [Charlie] Jimmy Mac! - Charlie! 921 00:52:32,065 --> 00:52:34,316 - Yeah, brother! - What's up? Charlie, look at you! 922 00:52:34,401 --> 00:52:35,651 - Meet my friend, Dan. - Hey. 923 00:52:35,735 --> 00:52:38,362 Tell me you felt it. Did you feel it, man? 924 00:52:38,446 --> 00:52:40,030 - Was it electrifying? - Electrifying. 925 00:52:40,115 --> 00:52:41,448 Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. 926 00:52:41,533 --> 00:52:44,160 Like chocolate milk coming through the nose, baby! Yeah! 927 00:52:44,244 --> 00:52:46,745 Two shows tomorrow, everybody. So what's going on? 928 00:52:46,830 --> 00:52:48,247 - I was gonna ask you a favor. - What you need? 929 00:52:48,331 --> 00:52:50,499 Remember at Wade's party you were talking about 930 00:52:50,584 --> 00:52:53,919 a human puppeteer, this mechanism? You got that done? 931 00:52:54,004 --> 00:52:56,172 When I was talking to you in confidence? 932 00:52:56,256 --> 00:52:59,133 - Yeah. - You always had that problem. 933 00:52:59,217 --> 00:53:02,261 This man is in trouble. He has trouble relating to his own children. 934 00:53:02,345 --> 00:53:03,888 - Oh, my God. - He needs your help. 935 00:53:03,972 --> 00:53:05,681 With your technology, we can fix this. 936 00:53:05,765 --> 00:53:07,183 - Oh, thank you. - It's true. 937 00:53:07,267 --> 00:53:09,768 Let me get this right. You want to hire me 938 00:53:09,853 --> 00:53:12,188 to take this uptight man and make him a human puppet? 939 00:53:12,272 --> 00:53:14,690 - Yes. - I'm gonna do it for you. 940 00:53:14,774 --> 00:53:17,693 - Aah! - Everybody, chop, chop! Whoo! 941 00:53:17,777 --> 00:53:21,530 - I feel so doggone good here. - [Charlie] All right. We're good to go. 942 00:53:21,615 --> 00:53:23,949 Now, you told me that your friend didn't know how to play. 943 00:53:24,034 --> 00:53:26,160 - It's true. - Dan, now you don't have to. 944 00:53:26,244 --> 00:53:28,787 - Charlie's going to play for you. - [Dan] With this suit? 945 00:53:28,872 --> 00:53:31,207 - Yes. Stick this down your pants. - Why? 946 00:53:31,291 --> 00:53:35,044 That thing will emit such a jolt that it will literally tickle your funny bone. 947 00:53:35,128 --> 00:53:36,712 - [Reverberating] - [Whimpers] 948 00:53:47,307 --> 00:53:48,682 [Beeps] 949 00:53:48,767 --> 00:53:51,143 [Charlie] This is a proper tea. 950 00:53:52,270 --> 00:53:55,397 Cup. Bring it up. 951 00:53:56,358 --> 00:53:57,441 Pinky. 952 00:53:58,193 --> 00:53:59,360 This is awesome. 953 00:53:59,444 --> 00:54:03,530 Oh, King Fontana, I do so admire a proper gentleman. 954 00:54:03,615 --> 00:54:08,953 I admire proper gentlemen, too. I admire them very, very much. 955 00:54:10,163 --> 00:54:12,748 - What? - [Whimpers quizzically] 956 00:54:12,832 --> 00:54:14,583 [Wand reverberates] 957 00:54:14,668 --> 00:54:17,503 That was a good cup oftea. 958 00:54:17,587 --> 00:54:21,006 Why, thank you. As princess ofthe land, I have made it specially. 959 00:54:21,091 --> 00:54:24,593 - It is poo-poo flavored. - [Charlie] She's cute. 960 00:54:24,678 --> 00:54:28,013 - He didn't laugh. Make him laugh. - Watch this. 961 00:54:30,934 --> 00:54:35,104 - Laugh, puppet. Laugh, laugh. - [Laughing uncontrollably] 962 00:54:50,870 --> 00:54:54,456 "Here with my board. Have questions." 963 00:54:54,541 --> 00:54:57,376 Cool. I have my board, too. 964 00:54:57,460 --> 00:55:02,631 [Speaking Japanese] 965 00:55:02,716 --> 00:55:05,175 [♪ Wilson Pickett: Land of 1,000 Dances] 966 00:55:13,810 --> 00:55:17,896 "Nissan has been our marketing partner in racing for many years." 967 00:55:17,981 --> 00:55:19,273 [Laughs] 968 00:55:19,357 --> 00:55:23,819 - [Dings] - "Nissan is poop." 969 00:55:23,903 --> 00:55:28,365 [All exclaiming] 970 00:55:33,121 --> 00:55:34,997 Ah, ah. 971 00:55:35,081 --> 00:55:40,627 Strong words. You suggest we sever ties? 972 00:55:40,712 --> 00:55:42,504 Racecars. Cool. 973 00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:46,175 "...but robots are cooler." 974 00:55:46,259 --> 00:55:49,511 How could he know we're exploring a major push in that field? 975 00:55:52,057 --> 00:55:53,432 [Barks] 976 00:55:56,561 --> 00:55:59,938 - [Dings] - "This is boring. I'm leaving now." 977 00:56:01,608 --> 00:56:04,526 - Fearless, this one. - Spin him. 978 00:56:04,611 --> 00:56:07,905 - Whoa! - Spin him. Spin him again. 979 00:56:11,451 --> 00:56:14,453 - [Electrical zapping] - [Yelling] 980 00:56:15,497 --> 00:56:17,539 - Too much spin. - Yeah. 981 00:56:17,624 --> 00:56:19,625 [Zapping] 982 00:56:19,709 --> 00:56:20,751 I'm OK. 983 00:56:22,670 --> 00:56:25,839 I told your boy not to get the battery pack wet. He's on his own. 984 00:56:26,674 --> 00:56:29,093 Sorry, Emily. 985 00:56:34,808 --> 00:56:36,683 Princess? 986 00:56:39,646 --> 00:56:41,480 King Fontana? 987 00:56:44,067 --> 00:56:46,485 Game on. 988 00:56:48,655 --> 00:56:50,489 At your service, my lady. 989 00:56:54,202 --> 00:56:56,412 You know when they found you after so many years 990 00:56:56,496 --> 00:56:59,248 there were many in my kingdom who were trepidatious. 991 00:56:59,332 --> 00:57:03,710 - Really hard word. - Oh. People were scared. 992 00:57:03,795 --> 00:57:08,173 And even most regal I, your king, was frightened. 993 00:57:08,258 --> 00:57:12,428 - A king who was scared? Ha! - I know. 'Tis to laugh. Ha... 994 00:57:12,512 --> 00:57:14,138 But 'tis true. 995 00:57:14,222 --> 00:57:17,683 'Tis the reason why a king may act like a toad. 996 00:57:18,810 --> 00:57:21,270 But the day your king found you, 997 00:57:21,354 --> 00:57:23,981 he vowed to protect you forever. 998 00:57:24,065 --> 00:57:28,193 Even though he didn't know you, could barely speak your language, 999 00:57:28,278 --> 00:57:31,071 and yes, was a little afraid... 1000 00:57:32,365 --> 00:57:37,953 ...he vowed to vanquish any and all who would do you harm in any way. 1001 00:57:40,123 --> 00:57:42,040 You know that. Right, Emily? 1002 00:57:43,543 --> 00:57:45,794 You know I'll always be there for you. 1003 00:57:45,879 --> 00:57:51,341 You're my daughter, and I will love you forever. 1004 00:58:03,938 --> 00:58:06,356 - Are you crying? - No, I'm not. I'm not crying. 1005 00:58:06,441 --> 00:58:12,237 Jimmy Mac, you crying? Come on, Jimmy. 1006 00:58:15,533 --> 00:58:18,160 [Dan] Your humble servant, madam. 1007 00:58:18,244 --> 00:58:20,704 - OK. - Don't let go, Dad. 1008 00:58:20,788 --> 00:58:23,499 This reminds me of an article I once read in AdvertisingAge, 1009 00:58:23,583 --> 00:58:27,503 which talked about the fact that a loss in a firm's brand assets 1010 00:58:27,587 --> 00:58:30,839 is negatively correlated with increased market valuation. 1011 00:58:30,924 --> 00:58:32,591 I don't know what you're talking about, Dad. 1012 00:58:32,675 --> 00:58:35,219 Let's talk about the fact that you're riding a two-wheeler on your own. 1013 00:58:35,303 --> 00:58:39,640 - No hands, baby! No hands! - I'm doing it, Dad! I'm doing it! 1014 00:58:39,724 --> 00:58:42,184 Yeah! You're doing it. 1015 00:58:44,771 --> 00:58:46,688 - [Bicycle crashing] - Oh... 1016 00:58:46,773 --> 00:58:48,190 [♪ Bryan Adams: Summerof'69] 1017 00:58:48,441 --> 00:58:49,942 Hit it! 1018 00:58:52,111 --> 00:58:53,612 Rookies. 1019 00:58:57,033 --> 00:58:58,992 There you go. That was awesome. 1020 00:59:06,543 --> 00:59:09,044 Hey, look! Look! That's us! 1021 00:59:09,587 --> 00:59:11,129 Yeah! 1022 00:59:17,095 --> 00:59:21,056 We were most impressed by your knowledge of our assets base. 1023 00:59:21,140 --> 00:59:24,810 But ultimately, it was your robotics idea 1024 00:59:24,894 --> 00:59:27,271 that pushed us overthe top. 1025 00:59:27,355 --> 00:59:29,898 - Robotics? - Smile and nod. 1026 00:59:29,983 --> 00:59:34,570 We here, at NMG, are ready to go to the next step. 1027 00:59:34,654 --> 00:59:40,158 Pack your bag, Craig-san. You're moving to Tokyo. 1028 00:59:50,086 --> 00:59:53,589 I've worked so hard! It's like I've just been traded! 1029 00:59:53,673 --> 00:59:57,551 - We'll translate that later. - Come on over! 1030 00:59:59,596 --> 01:00:02,598 - He's very excited. - Whoo! 1031 01:00:02,682 --> 01:00:05,892 [♪ Shoukichi Kina and Champloose: Jing Jing] 1032 01:00:13,860 --> 01:00:15,235 Remember, Thursday morning, 1033 01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:17,446 conference call with Nishamura and the board. 1034 01:00:17,530 --> 01:00:19,615 You set things up, and we'll take it from there. 1035 01:00:19,699 --> 01:00:23,201 Got it. Conference call Thursday, tee it up for the big guns. 1036 01:00:24,287 --> 01:00:26,288 I just want to say thanks, you guys. 1037 01:00:26,372 --> 01:00:29,708 Nobody's ever really believed in me the way that you two have. 1038 01:00:29,792 --> 01:00:32,836 And it really means a lot to me. You guys are like... 1039 01:00:34,756 --> 01:00:38,550 You're like the two dads that I never had. I really appreciate it. 1040 01:00:39,177 --> 01:00:43,221 My two father figures. I'm going to do you proud. 1041 01:00:43,306 --> 01:00:46,892 - All right. - Go To. 1042 01:00:46,976 --> 01:00:48,977 - You don't want to be late. - Whoo! 1043 01:00:49,062 --> 01:00:52,272 Look out, Japan. Here comes some serious business. 1044 01:00:58,196 --> 01:00:59,655 [♪ Lifehouse: You and Me] 1045 01:01:04,327 --> 01:01:06,161 Oh, God help us. 1046 01:01:06,245 --> 01:01:09,289 It was so cool, Mom. Dad taught me how to ride a two-wheeler, 1047 01:01:09,374 --> 01:01:12,459 and then we got to hang out with the New York Mets! 1048 01:01:12,543 --> 01:01:15,796 Let me talk to her. And Dad promised that he'd 1049 01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:18,048 do something huge for our birthday this year. 1050 01:01:18,132 --> 01:01:19,800 But he won't even tell us what it is. 1051 01:01:19,884 --> 01:01:21,635 - Let me say hi to him. - [Emily] OK. 1052 01:01:21,719 --> 01:01:24,805 Hey. I'm coming to get you tomorrow. No arguments. 1053 01:01:24,889 --> 01:01:26,973 Tomorrow morning, I have the biggest conference call 1054 01:01:27,058 --> 01:01:29,810 in my entire career, but after that I'm all yours. 1055 01:01:29,894 --> 01:01:33,188 It's amazing. I left the kids with you out of desperation, 1056 01:01:33,272 --> 01:01:35,774 but now I can't imagine having done it differently. 1057 01:01:36,192 --> 01:01:37,484 Me too. 1058 01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:30,120 Oh, great. This is a record. 1059 01:02:30,204 --> 01:02:33,790 He unplugged a laptop, BlackBerry, lamp, an alarm cl... 1060 01:02:35,835 --> 01:02:37,252 - Charlie! - What? 1061 01:02:37,336 --> 01:02:38,670 - What?! - Conference call. 1062 01:02:41,090 --> 01:02:42,382 - Let's go! - No, no, no. 1063 01:02:42,467 --> 01:02:44,342 - My notes! - [Charlie] No time! 1064 01:02:46,763 --> 01:02:52,184 - In three, two, one... - Kids! In the car! 1065 01:02:55,646 --> 01:02:58,565 Just a second... Good... 1066 01:03:00,943 --> 01:03:02,444 Nishamura-san. 1067 01:03:02,528 --> 01:03:05,113 Please accept our sincere apology for the delay. 1068 01:03:05,198 --> 01:03:08,450 We trust our colleague, Craig, has already begun the presentation. 1069 01:03:08,534 --> 01:03:11,369 I'm afraid your colleague, Craig, has not been 1070 01:03:11,454 --> 01:03:14,456 seen nor heard from since the moment he arrived. 1071 01:03:14,540 --> 01:03:16,792 Really? 1072 01:03:16,876 --> 01:03:18,627 He'sjust a little thing. 1073 01:03:18,711 --> 01:03:21,296 He looks more like a little leprechaun in a business suit. 1074 01:03:21,380 --> 01:03:22,589 - You can't miss him. - Red hair... 1075 01:03:22,673 --> 01:03:26,009 He called me from the Ginza his first night, 1076 01:03:26,093 --> 01:03:30,138 and all I heard was... [mimics techno beats] 1077 01:03:30,223 --> 01:03:34,267 Techno music... and something about the teachings of a karaoke master. 1078 01:03:34,352 --> 01:03:35,685 [Techno music plays] 1079 01:03:37,230 --> 01:03:39,314 ♪ Hey-hey 1080 01:03:39,398 --> 01:03:42,317 Ai! Ai! Ai! [shouts] 1081 01:03:42,401 --> 01:03:44,903 - Ah... - [Nishamura] Dan-san. 1082 01:03:44,987 --> 01:03:49,658 I have the utmost respect for you, but an hour delay 1083 01:03:49,742 --> 01:03:53,995 and a missing executive is not the way to begin a relationship. 1084 01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:55,831 We will do anything to make it work out. 1085 01:03:55,915 --> 01:03:58,166 We are there for you, Nishamura-san, 24/7. 1086 01:03:58,251 --> 01:04:03,588 Good. That is what I hoped to hear. So, ifwe are to move forward 1087 01:04:03,673 --> 01:04:08,260 you and Charlie are the ones who must move here to Tokyo 1088 01:04:08,344 --> 01:04:10,554 and be our liaison. 1089 01:04:10,638 --> 01:04:15,433 That is my final and only offer. 1090 01:04:22,108 --> 01:04:25,861 OK... Let's do this. Let's do this. Just do it. 1091 01:04:32,159 --> 01:04:35,120 - Thank you. Oh! - Hey. 1092 01:04:35,204 --> 01:04:38,373 Oh! Freedom. I can smell the air again. 1093 01:04:40,376 --> 01:04:42,544 - How are the kids? - Great. 1094 01:04:42,628 --> 01:04:44,546 - Maybe we should get going. - OK. 1095 01:04:44,630 --> 01:04:46,172 [♪ Chris Isaak: This Love Will Last] 1096 01:04:46,257 --> 01:04:50,760 I just went with the motto, "Don't serve the time, let the time serve you." 1097 01:04:51,596 --> 01:04:55,891 The truth is, Dan, most ofwhat I was reflecting on was us. 1098 01:04:55,975 --> 01:04:57,392 Really? 1099 01:04:57,476 --> 01:04:59,936 And the way you've proven yourself to me with the kids. 1100 01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:02,898 - Bless you. - [Vicki] Our kids. 1101 01:05:02,982 --> 01:05:07,235 - Yeah. - Maybe you were right two weeks ago. 1102 01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:09,446 Maybe it is time to give us another try. 1103 01:05:11,324 --> 01:05:13,742 Really? [laughs] 1104 01:05:13,826 --> 01:05:15,452 [Vicki sighs] Timing. 1105 01:05:15,536 --> 01:05:17,245 - Timing's perfect. - Timing. 1106 01:05:17,330 --> 01:05:19,205 - [Vicki] Wow. - Wow. 1107 01:05:30,426 --> 01:05:32,510 [Vicki] Where are they? 1108 01:05:33,137 --> 01:05:35,597 - Oh, my babies. - Mom. 1109 01:05:35,681 --> 01:05:38,850 Oh! I missed you so much. 1110 01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:42,062 All right. I made you guys something. 1111 01:05:42,146 --> 01:05:45,023 - [Trumpeting] - Cool! 1112 01:05:45,107 --> 01:05:46,107 Thanks, Mom. 1113 01:05:46,192 --> 01:05:48,276 Don't worry, Charlie. I didn't forget you. 1114 01:05:48,361 --> 01:05:51,613 I carved you a little soap bunny. 1115 01:05:51,697 --> 01:05:53,114 Oh, Charlie. 1116 01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:55,659 I'll strike that right off my Christmas list. 1117 01:05:55,743 --> 01:05:59,245 Hey, that's a thoughtful gift. That's wonderful. 1118 01:06:00,623 --> 01:06:03,124 We need to discuss something, though, as a family. 1119 01:06:03,209 --> 01:06:05,710 - I'll give you a moment. - OK. 1120 01:06:07,964 --> 01:06:10,715 [Dog grunting] 1121 01:06:13,386 --> 01:06:17,639 When you reappeared in my life, Charlie and I were in the middle of a deal 1122 01:06:17,723 --> 01:06:20,600 that could be the culmination of our 30 years in this business. 1123 01:06:21,936 --> 01:06:27,190 But in order to close that deal... I have to move to Japan. 1124 01:06:28,401 --> 01:06:30,610 What about our birthday? The big party? 1125 01:06:30,695 --> 01:06:33,071 I'm probably going to miss this one. 1126 01:06:33,155 --> 01:06:36,324 But I'm going to try really hard and come back every six months. 1127 01:06:36,409 --> 01:06:38,994 So I'll make the next one most likely, you know? 1128 01:06:40,371 --> 01:06:42,455 What about what you said two weeks ago? 1129 01:06:42,540 --> 01:06:44,833 What about trying to make us work? 1130 01:06:44,917 --> 01:06:49,170 I meant that. I really did. But... 1131 01:06:49,255 --> 01:06:53,341 But, Daddy, ifyou move to Japan, who will protect the kingdom? 1132 01:06:56,804 --> 01:06:59,389 I know you wanted me to be a superhero, Emily. 1133 01:06:59,473 --> 01:07:02,183 You all wanted me to be one. 1134 01:07:02,268 --> 01:07:04,894 But I'm not. I wish I could be. 1135 01:07:04,979 --> 01:07:07,772 I'd fly back and forth from Japan every day. 1136 01:07:11,318 --> 01:07:13,445 I'mjust a guy in marketing. 1137 01:07:18,451 --> 01:07:20,577 I'm going to go pack the kids. 1138 01:07:22,872 --> 01:07:24,497 I'm sorry, you guys. 1139 01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:41,389 - Hello. Thank you. - May I take your bag? 1140 01:07:41,474 --> 01:07:44,267 Why don't we think of this deal as our child. 1141 01:07:44,351 --> 01:07:46,811 - Uh-huh. - Hello. Hi. 1142 01:07:48,355 --> 01:07:51,399 I know you're upset about leaving, but we're going to fix it, OK? 1143 01:07:51,484 --> 01:07:54,110 We're going to find somebody to replace Craig who's smarter, 1144 01:07:54,195 --> 01:07:57,572 and in six months to a year, we're home. OK? 1145 01:07:57,656 --> 01:07:59,949 - You think? - This time I just say to you, 1146 01:08:00,034 --> 01:08:02,619 "Embrace it. People love Japan." 1147 01:08:03,788 --> 01:08:05,747 - Want some? - No! 1148 01:08:05,831 --> 01:08:08,374 - What? No? - No. No. OK. 1149 01:08:08,459 --> 01:08:11,836 [♪ Pizzicato Five: Twiggy Twiggy] 1150 01:08:18,677 --> 01:08:22,430 [Charlie] The truth is, I probably looked like the Joker from Batman. 1151 01:08:22,515 --> 01:08:25,016 But I felt bad. These poor, sad people. 1152 01:08:25,101 --> 01:08:28,103 Anyway, I'm the first guy to insult a bereavement group 1153 01:08:28,187 --> 01:08:29,312 and still get the girl. 1154 01:08:32,858 --> 01:08:34,776 That's Yankee ingenuity! 1155 01:08:35,194 --> 01:08:39,823 Please, Charlie, show us that facial paralysis smile one more time. 1156 01:08:47,998 --> 01:08:50,291 All right, do your thing, superstar. 1157 01:08:50,376 --> 01:08:51,835 Thank you. 1158 01:08:54,046 --> 01:08:56,381 The American sports market is a minefield, 1159 01:08:56,465 --> 01:08:58,007 and what I'd like to do today 1160 01:08:58,092 --> 01:09:03,012 is draw a map through that minefield so that... 1161 01:09:08,394 --> 01:09:10,979 OK, Dan. Let's get going. 1162 01:09:11,063 --> 01:09:13,731 - I accessed the wrong file. - [Computer beeping] 1163 01:09:13,816 --> 01:09:15,733 - Dad! - Hey, Dad. 1164 01:09:17,570 --> 01:09:19,821 Um... A little technical... 1165 01:09:21,657 --> 01:09:23,616 [speaks Japanese] 1166 01:09:23,701 --> 01:09:26,911 - I can do it from my notes. - OK. 1167 01:09:36,964 --> 01:09:40,300 The first market segment is, um... 1168 01:09:42,261 --> 01:09:43,261 Let's go. 1169 01:09:45,264 --> 01:09:50,101 The idea of sports to a kid... 1170 01:09:53,022 --> 01:09:54,939 [Charlie] Dan, what's going on? 1171 01:09:57,318 --> 01:09:59,819 How could you have tanked that meeting? The way I set you up, 1172 01:09:59,904 --> 01:10:02,447 you could've told them we were hiring monkeys and they would have bought it! 1173 01:10:03,449 --> 01:10:04,866 That was our dream, Dan! 1174 01:10:04,950 --> 01:10:08,369 That was going to put us in the hall offame of sports marketing. 1175 01:10:08,454 --> 01:10:09,454 Go! 1176 01:10:09,538 --> 01:10:12,707 Remember that USFL account we got? That would've been the one to tank! 1177 01:10:12,791 --> 01:10:15,668 - Will you please shut up?! - Now you speak! 1178 01:10:15,753 --> 01:10:17,712 - You want a piece of me? Bring it! - Bring it! Come on! 1179 01:10:17,796 --> 01:10:20,381 All right! Sorry. 1180 01:10:20,466 --> 01:10:22,217 How's this going to work out, snowball? 1181 01:10:22,301 --> 01:10:24,969 I don't know, man tan. You'll be OK. 1182 01:10:25,054 --> 01:10:28,890 You'll tap-dance yourway into a brand-newjob, still date 35-year-olds. 1183 01:10:28,974 --> 01:10:32,352 You never grew up. You never had to. You always had me. 1184 01:10:32,728 --> 01:10:35,021 [Both grumbling] 1185 01:10:35,105 --> 01:10:36,898 - God! - It is small enough! 1186 01:10:36,982 --> 01:10:39,150 - Shut up, Charlie! - Made for a sardine. 1187 01:10:39,235 --> 01:10:42,237 - I'm a big man. This is a little seat. - Yeah, you're a big ma... 1188 01:10:42,321 --> 01:10:45,573 - Stop trying to change me, Charlie. - You know I can't do that. 1189 01:10:45,658 --> 01:10:48,034 - Then I'm done. - Done with taking my advice? 1190 01:10:48,118 --> 01:10:50,787 - Mmm-hmm. - Late-night rap sessions? 1191 01:10:50,871 --> 01:10:52,705 But not done with the time-share in Vail. 1192 01:10:52,790 --> 01:10:54,916 - No, I'm done with you. - [Bell dings] 1193 01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:56,960 [Man on PA] Welcome aboard, flight nine to New York. 1194 01:10:57,044 --> 01:10:59,170 We got 18 hours offlight time ahead of us, 1195 01:10:59,255 --> 01:11:02,632 so turn to the person next to you and get to know them. 1196 01:11:02,716 --> 01:11:04,509 It's going to be a long ride. 1197 01:11:06,845 --> 01:11:08,304 Where you from? 1198 01:11:10,683 --> 01:11:13,101 The whole trip was a bust from start to finish. 1199 01:11:13,519 --> 01:11:15,061 Amanda, could I call you back? 1200 01:11:15,145 --> 01:11:18,940 I got to pick up Lucky from the dog hotel. I'll call you. 1201 01:11:20,192 --> 01:11:23,027 Where's my boy? Where's my boy? 1202 01:11:23,112 --> 01:11:27,323 Lucky, come here, boy. Where's my goo-go! 1203 01:11:27,908 --> 01:11:28,908 Where is he? 1204 01:11:33,289 --> 01:11:36,291 - Where is he? - We tried to call. 1205 01:11:36,375 --> 01:11:38,126 [♪ David Gray: As I'm Leavin'] 1206 01:11:44,341 --> 01:11:46,676 [Charlie on machine] Hello, Daniel, it's Charlie. 1207 01:11:46,760 --> 01:11:50,471 Thought you'd like to know that after 14 wonderful, fulfilling years together, 1208 01:11:50,556 --> 01:11:53,266 my true best friend, Lucky, has passed. 1209 01:11:53,350 --> 01:11:56,686 Maybe my life isn't as blessed as you paint it to be. 1210 01:11:56,770 --> 01:11:59,314 I thought you'd like to know that the funeral is this Tuesday 1211 01:11:59,398 --> 01:12:02,483 followed by a small, tasteful reception at my house. 1212 01:12:02,568 --> 01:12:04,152 I'm indifferent as to whether you come. 1213 01:12:04,236 --> 01:12:05,820 - [Machine beeps] - [Craig] Gentlemen, it's Craig, 1214 01:12:05,904 --> 01:12:07,572 and I'm back in New York. 1215 01:12:07,656 --> 01:12:08,948 I know I messed up. 1216 01:12:09,033 --> 01:12:11,451 I take full responsibility for the mistakes that I made. 1217 01:12:11,535 --> 01:12:14,495 I'm not going to beg, and I won't call again. 1218 01:12:15,497 --> 01:12:17,415 The truth is that I was a preemie. 1219 01:12:17,499 --> 01:12:21,544 I was several weeks premature, and there was talk of oxygen deprivation. 1220 01:12:21,628 --> 01:12:23,212 I'm not making excuses, but the doctor said... 1221 01:12:23,297 --> 01:12:25,381 - [machine beeps] - Idiot. 1222 01:12:38,479 --> 01:12:40,396 Oh... [sighs heavily] 1223 01:12:40,481 --> 01:12:42,857 You know someone a bunch ofyears, 1224 01:12:42,941 --> 01:12:47,111 and it's easy to forget that you were fortunate enough 1225 01:12:47,196 --> 01:12:49,739 to have known them for even one day. 1226 01:12:50,115 --> 01:12:54,702 And that was Lucky, to me. I mean, he was my friend. 1227 01:12:54,787 --> 01:12:58,331 He... Well, even more important, he was my family. 1228 01:12:58,415 --> 01:13:01,209 And where was I when he was breathing his last breath? 1229 01:13:01,293 --> 01:13:03,628 In Japan, making a business deal. 1230 01:13:05,464 --> 01:13:08,633 Is there anyone who would like to say anything about Lucky 1231 01:13:08,717 --> 01:13:11,594 - before we say goodbye? - [Dan] I would. 1232 01:13:20,562 --> 01:13:22,397 I've had the great pleasure of being the other old dog 1233 01:13:22,481 --> 01:13:24,607 in Charlie's life for the past 30 years. 1234 01:13:26,485 --> 01:13:28,694 Like Lucky, 1235 01:13:28,779 --> 01:13:32,156 I feel like a fortunate son of a gun to have Charlie as a friend. 1236 01:13:37,287 --> 01:13:38,913 - You're so cute. - [Dogs barking] 1237 01:13:38,997 --> 01:13:40,331 Here. A nice bowl of cold water. 1238 01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:42,750 - I'm really glad you came, man. - Me too. 1239 01:13:42,835 --> 01:13:44,127 It's really important to me. 1240 01:13:45,712 --> 01:13:48,089 - I've said some things... - Please, don't go there. 1241 01:13:48,173 --> 01:13:49,340 - I have to. - Why? 1242 01:13:49,425 --> 01:13:52,385 You've always had faith in me, even when I didn't have faith in myself. 1243 01:13:52,469 --> 01:13:55,263 You're notjust my best friend, you're the best kind offriend. 1244 01:13:56,140 --> 01:13:58,349 You're loyal, honorable... 1245 01:13:58,976 --> 01:14:02,728 But? See I knew there was a "but." This is gonna sting like a mother. Go. 1246 01:14:02,813 --> 01:14:04,522 Aside from going into business with you, 1247 01:14:04,606 --> 01:14:07,775 I've only made two good decisions in my entire life. 1248 01:14:07,860 --> 01:14:11,362 Marrying Vicki and taking those kids. 1249 01:14:11,447 --> 01:14:13,906 And those are the two most impulsive things I've done in my entire life, 1250 01:14:13,991 --> 01:14:16,951 besides the tattoo, which, God willing, I'll get over one day. 1251 01:14:17,035 --> 01:14:20,788 I feel another moment of Dan Rayburn impulsivity about to happen. 1252 01:14:20,873 --> 01:14:23,166 Charlie, this is big. I'm talking about uprooting, 1253 01:14:23,250 --> 01:14:25,918 change of scenery, the end ofthe business as we know it. 1254 01:14:26,003 --> 01:14:29,964 Oh, Dan. We'll figure out the business. We always do. 1255 01:14:30,048 --> 01:14:34,635 - Yeah, but... I have to get them back. - Nah. Absolutely not. 1256 01:14:36,472 --> 01:14:37,597 We're gonna get 'em back. 1257 01:14:38,557 --> 01:14:40,892 Yeah. Yeah, little man. 1258 01:14:52,696 --> 01:14:56,157 - Out ofthe way. Dad on a mission. - You guys aren't gonna regret this. 1259 01:14:56,241 --> 01:14:58,576 I'll do whatever it takes to get back into your good grace... 1260 01:14:59,578 --> 01:15:01,662 You want to lighten up on the throttle, Sparky? 1261 01:15:01,747 --> 01:15:05,166 - We got a zoo exit coming up here. - [Tires screeching] 1262 01:15:05,250 --> 01:15:06,918 I'm not gonna miss that birthday party. 1263 01:15:07,002 --> 01:15:08,961 It'sjust great to get the three amigos back together again. 1264 01:15:09,046 --> 01:15:11,130 [Both] You're still on probation! 1265 01:15:15,344 --> 01:15:18,137 - [Dan] No, no. That's not a lock. - You open? 1266 01:15:18,222 --> 01:15:20,848 Nah. Sorry, the zoo closes at 3:00 to new visitors. 1267 01:15:20,933 --> 01:15:23,601 But my kids are in there. They're having a birthday party, 1268 01:15:23,685 --> 01:15:26,020 and I have to be there because I'm Dad. 1269 01:15:26,104 --> 01:15:28,105 Yeah. This is Dan Rayburn, superdad. 1270 01:15:28,190 --> 01:15:30,525 Check on your list. R-A-Y-B-U-R-N. 1271 01:15:30,609 --> 01:15:35,112 [Man] Superdad is super late, all right? Rayburn? You know what? 1272 01:15:35,197 --> 01:15:38,324 You don't even have the same last name as the birthday kids. Can't do it. 1273 01:15:38,408 --> 01:15:42,119 - How does three big ones sound? - A little money, huh? 1274 01:15:42,204 --> 01:15:45,873 Don't you ever hand me three dollars again. 1275 01:15:45,958 --> 01:15:48,000 - Come on. You can let us... - You already have a kid there. 1276 01:15:48,085 --> 01:15:49,627 - [Charlie] It's fine. - I can't let you in. 1277 01:15:49,711 --> 01:15:52,505 He's got a heart problem. He just wants to see his kids. 1278 01:15:52,589 --> 01:15:55,216 - You shall not pass. - You're great at yourjob, man! 1279 01:15:56,510 --> 01:15:58,970 Charlie, what are you doing? 1280 01:16:00,305 --> 01:16:01,514 What are you thinking? 1281 01:16:02,099 --> 01:16:05,601 Danny boy, I am going to get you into that party, 1282 01:16:05,686 --> 01:16:08,646 at great risk to my perfect legal record. 1283 01:16:09,356 --> 01:16:11,816 - [Craig] Through here? - Oh, yeah. Here we go. 1284 01:16:11,900 --> 01:16:14,151 - That's breaking and entering. No, no. - Bingo! 1285 01:16:14,236 --> 01:16:16,028 - Don't do that. - Wait. Let me do it. 1286 01:16:16,113 --> 01:16:17,697 - [Charlie] Why? - I'll take the risk. 1287 01:16:17,781 --> 01:16:19,615 OK. Go ahead. 1288 01:16:21,493 --> 01:16:23,077 Yeah... 1289 01:16:23,161 --> 01:16:24,787 - Come on. Come on. - I got it. 1290 01:16:26,373 --> 01:16:28,958 - I need some help. I need help. - [Lock snaps] 1291 01:16:29,835 --> 01:16:31,419 - OK. - Go, Craig. 1292 01:16:31,503 --> 01:16:33,588 - [Craig] Me? OK. - Yeah, you first. 1293 01:16:33,672 --> 01:16:36,382 - [Indistinct chattering] - What's her name? 1294 01:16:43,640 --> 01:16:45,224 - We made it. - We did it! 1295 01:16:45,309 --> 01:16:49,770 Yeah! Can't keep Dan Rayburn out. 1296 01:16:50,355 --> 01:16:52,231 Never doubt you, Charlie. Never. 1297 01:16:52,316 --> 01:16:54,734 - We are in the zoo, guys. - All right, which way? 1298 01:16:54,818 --> 01:16:57,278 A moat. I wonder what lives here. 1299 01:16:57,362 --> 01:16:59,947 - [All exclaim] - We're in the gorilla enclosure. 1300 01:17:00,032 --> 01:17:02,074 - What? - Stand still. 1301 01:17:02,159 --> 01:17:04,493 Hold still. Don't do it. Don't move. 1302 01:17:04,578 --> 01:17:07,455 - Gorilla. Silverback gorilla. - Stay where you are. 1303 01:17:07,539 --> 01:17:09,624 Don't look at him in the eyes. Just look away. 1304 01:17:09,708 --> 01:17:12,710 Lfyou don't see him, he doesn't see you. Back up to the tunnel. 1305 01:17:12,794 --> 01:17:15,212 You have to be aggressive with the larger apes. I've read about this. 1306 01:17:15,297 --> 01:17:17,632 - Back up to the tunnel. - No, no. No retreat. 1307 01:17:17,716 --> 01:17:20,593 - Retreat. No, retreat. - You retreat, we are dead. 1308 01:17:21,136 --> 01:17:23,638 He senses fear, he attacks. Be aggressive. 1309 01:17:24,890 --> 01:17:29,560 - [Howling] - [Shrieking] 1310 01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:32,688 [All continue shouting] 1311 01:17:35,233 --> 01:17:38,653 - [Charlie] Food! - Don't provoke it! Charlie, no! 1312 01:17:38,737 --> 01:17:40,279 Aah! 1313 01:17:43,659 --> 01:17:46,494 - Oh! - [Dan] Charlie! 1314 01:17:46,578 --> 01:17:48,579 Aggression not working. Maybe we should be submissive. 1315 01:17:49,414 --> 01:17:52,500 - Or run! - Every man for himself! 1316 01:17:52,584 --> 01:17:53,668 Run! Go! 1317 01:17:56,421 --> 01:17:57,421 Come on, Danny boy. 1318 01:17:58,590 --> 01:17:59,590 - [Grunting] - Uh-oh. 1319 01:17:59,675 --> 01:18:03,928 - [Growling] - [Shrieks] 1320 01:18:06,682 --> 01:18:07,807 [Both yell] 1321 01:18:14,898 --> 01:18:17,525 - We're alive! - [Chittering] 1322 01:18:17,609 --> 01:18:20,695 - Penguins! - [Both] Aw... 1323 01:18:20,779 --> 01:18:22,363 - I love penguins. - Me too. 1324 01:18:23,699 --> 01:18:25,074 [All screeching] 1325 01:18:26,284 --> 01:18:28,953 - Angry penguins! - Save yourself! 1326 01:18:29,037 --> 01:18:30,079 Go to your kids! 1327 01:18:31,957 --> 01:18:33,416 Ow! Ow! Ow! 1328 01:18:35,419 --> 01:18:37,461 Charlie! Charlie! 1329 01:18:38,755 --> 01:18:41,757 - I love you, Charlie! - Ooh! 1330 01:18:45,470 --> 01:18:48,347 [Whimpering] 1331 01:18:52,310 --> 01:18:55,646 [Softly] Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. 1332 01:18:56,690 --> 01:18:58,190 Aahh... 1333 01:19:00,152 --> 01:19:02,570 Everybody, it's cake time. 1334 01:19:05,657 --> 01:19:06,657 Oh! 1335 01:19:08,410 --> 01:19:11,078 - Birthday parties. Which way? - They're on Adventure Island. 1336 01:19:11,163 --> 01:19:13,414 But the tunnel's closed. There's no way to get there from here. 1337 01:19:13,498 --> 01:19:17,084 No, no. I got to get to that birthday party. Please. 1338 01:19:19,421 --> 01:19:20,421 OK. 1339 01:19:22,299 --> 01:19:24,091 - What are you doing? - Some little girl 1340 01:19:24,176 --> 01:19:26,385 wants a superhero to fly into her birthday party. 1341 01:19:26,470 --> 01:19:29,388 - Mom calls me, I show up. - Really? 1342 01:19:33,185 --> 01:19:35,269 We're going to sing HappyBirthday. 1343 01:19:36,772 --> 01:19:38,981 - How does this work? - You go up, you come down. 1344 01:19:39,065 --> 01:19:42,234 - It's not rocket science, chief. - And it's safe? 1345 01:19:42,319 --> 01:19:45,613 - Aah... Sure. - Oh. 1346 01:19:47,407 --> 01:19:50,951 Daddy's coming. Yeah! Which way is the party? 1347 01:19:51,036 --> 01:19:53,120 - Northwest! - You got it! 1348 01:19:53,205 --> 01:19:55,498 - [Man] Go for it! - Yeah. Yeah! 1349 01:19:58,585 --> 01:20:01,921 Killer penguins. Killer penguins! 1350 01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:05,090 - Killer penguins! - [Dan] Charlie! 1351 01:20:05,842 --> 01:20:08,511 Dan! What's he doing up there? 1352 01:20:08,595 --> 01:20:11,138 Ah, he wanted to be a superhero for his daughter's birthday. 1353 01:20:11,223 --> 01:20:14,141 - He know what he's doing? - It's like a ride. Don't worry. 1354 01:20:15,894 --> 01:20:19,396 Go, Danny boy! I'm the wind beneath yourwings! 1355 01:20:19,481 --> 01:20:22,149 There's no stopping Dan Rayburn! 1356 01:20:24,236 --> 01:20:26,529 Did you see a little man? He's about yea-big. 1357 01:20:26,613 --> 01:20:29,031 He's got reddish hair. He looks like a Hobbit. 1358 01:20:29,491 --> 01:20:31,992 [Moaning] Just go to your happy place! 1359 01:20:32,077 --> 01:20:37,164 - Just go to a happy place! - [Both] One, two, three! 1360 01:20:37,499 --> 01:20:40,584 I can fly! 1361 01:20:41,211 --> 01:20:43,879 I can fly! Yes! 1362 01:20:47,384 --> 01:20:50,427 Happy birthday, Zach and Emily! 1363 01:20:51,763 --> 01:20:54,640 Look, guys, it's a superhero, just like you wanted. 1364 01:20:54,724 --> 01:20:56,851 I'm coming, kids! 1365 01:20:57,519 --> 01:21:00,020 - Oh, my gosh! Dan? - It's Dad! 1366 01:21:00,105 --> 01:21:02,565 - It's me, Fatherman! - [Emily] Dad! 1367 01:21:02,649 --> 01:21:04,316 [Dan] Yeah! 1368 01:21:04,401 --> 01:21:05,401 I knew it. 1369 01:21:05,485 --> 01:21:08,487 That's right, kids. Believe what you see! 1370 01:21:08,572 --> 01:21:09,572 [Motor sputtering] 1371 01:21:09,656 --> 01:21:11,282 - Isn't enough fuel. - Be careful! 1372 01:21:11,366 --> 01:21:14,118 [Screaming] 1373 01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:24,795 [Sings All Out ofLove] 1374 01:21:34,973 --> 01:21:37,266 - [Growling] - [Resumes singing] 1375 01:21:39,978 --> 01:21:43,397 I'm so sorry. I just wanted to make an impact. 1376 01:21:43,481 --> 01:21:45,065 Mission accomplished. 1377 01:21:45,150 --> 01:21:47,693 I'm not that bad. It doesn't hurt. I don't need to go to the hospital. 1378 01:21:47,777 --> 01:21:49,820 I just need to go home and sleep it off. 1379 01:21:50,280 --> 01:21:51,906 - You want to go home? - Yeah. 1380 01:21:51,990 --> 01:21:53,657 You're in Burlington. You know that, right? 1381 01:21:53,742 --> 01:21:56,869 I know that. I rented a house a half mile from here. 1382 01:21:58,496 --> 01:22:00,289 You moved here? 1383 01:22:00,373 --> 01:22:03,417 Look, I know I loused it up for us romantically 1384 01:22:03,501 --> 01:22:05,961 when I chose Japan over you. 1385 01:22:06,504 --> 01:22:10,007 And after what happened in South Beach, that's pretty much unforgivable. 1386 01:22:10,550 --> 01:22:12,384 But these guys weren't around in South Beach. 1387 01:22:13,470 --> 01:22:16,680 Good timing or bad timing, I love them. 1388 01:22:17,933 --> 01:22:20,768 I moved here so, whether they want to visit me or not, 1389 01:22:20,852 --> 01:22:22,519 I could be closer to them. 1390 01:22:23,855 --> 01:22:26,440 I'm not a superhero, kids. Maybe that's a good thing 1391 01:22:26,524 --> 01:22:29,693 because, you know, superheroes are always offfighting crime. 1392 01:22:31,196 --> 01:22:33,572 And I just want to be with you guys... 1393 01:22:33,907 --> 01:22:35,491 ...forever, ifyou'll let me. 1394 01:22:40,789 --> 01:22:42,289 Deal. 1395 01:22:42,832 --> 01:22:44,959 You're on my oxygen! 1396 01:22:45,043 --> 01:22:47,211 Aah! [laughs] 1397 01:22:53,093 --> 01:22:54,885 [Snoring] 1398 01:23:16,366 --> 01:23:18,951 - [Growling] - [Shrieking] 1399 01:23:19,035 --> 01:23:21,286 [♪ Lily Allen: LDN] 1400 01:23:21,371 --> 01:23:23,580 [Charlie] Long story short, he gets the kids, he gets his wife. 1401 01:23:23,665 --> 01:23:25,040 And Nishamura calls and says, 1402 01:23:25,125 --> 01:23:27,793 "We want a family man to represent a family business." 1403 01:23:27,877 --> 01:23:30,754 Boom, $47 million in fees later, 1404 01:23:30,839 --> 01:23:32,840 here we are on my best friend's boat going to Aruba. 1405 01:23:32,924 --> 01:23:35,217 That is a true story. I mean, come on. 1406 01:23:35,301 --> 01:23:38,178 Well, it's a good thing you brought us down here 1407 01:23:38,263 --> 01:23:42,182 because the high seas are a dangerous mistress for these children. 1408 01:23:42,267 --> 01:23:46,478 Excuse me. What are you doing to my boat? Oh, the safety squad? Why? 1409 01:23:46,563 --> 01:23:50,315 It's my kid, OK? The fruit of my loins. And you just relax, OK? 1410 01:23:50,400 --> 01:23:52,359 We're going to fix this boat so it's safe for her. 1411 01:23:52,444 --> 01:23:53,944 [Dan] Your baby's only three months old! 1412 01:23:54,029 --> 01:23:56,613 - [Moaning] - Nick! 1413 01:23:56,698 --> 01:23:59,199 - [Choking] - This is not a Sizzler! 1414 01:24:00,076 --> 01:24:01,368 All right, so two weeks. 1415 01:24:01,453 --> 01:24:03,704 Keep the office running smooth until the big guns get back. 1416 01:24:03,788 --> 01:24:06,123 - That'll be my sole scope ofwork. - Now, Craig, 1417 01:24:06,207 --> 01:24:08,459 no more karaoke. You are cut off. 1418 01:24:08,543 --> 01:24:10,836 Not even in your own house. You can do it. 1419 01:24:10,920 --> 01:24:15,966 - Go To! We're gonna miss you, Go To. - Hey, you guys are using my nickname. 1420 01:24:20,555 --> 01:24:22,723 - Oh... - [Gary] Nick? 1421 01:24:22,807 --> 01:24:24,892 Listen. Are you good at puzzles? 1422 01:24:24,976 --> 01:24:28,562 [Vicki] Everybody take their seasickness pills? Come on, guys. 1423 01:24:28,646 --> 01:24:30,230 [Gary] Wow. Should we tell? 1424 01:24:30,315 --> 01:24:33,400 I think I rememberwhere they go. 1425 01:24:34,069 --> 01:24:35,527 Yeah. 1426 01:24:36,905 --> 01:24:39,907 All right, we got the bags stowed below. Seasickness pills 1427 01:24:39,991 --> 01:24:42,326 have been distributed. Let'sjust get one bon voyage photo, 1428 01:24:42,410 --> 01:24:44,745 and then we're ready to shove off, folks. 1429 01:24:44,829 --> 01:24:46,997 All right, everyone get together for a picture. 1430 01:24:47,082 --> 01:24:48,957 Big smiles. Let's look real happy. 1431 01:24:49,042 --> 01:24:51,251 - [Charlie] Today, Craig. - [Vicki] Got it? 1432 01:24:51,336 --> 01:24:54,088 Maybe not quite so happy. 1433 01:24:55,298 --> 01:24:56,298 [Camera clicks] 1434 01:24:56,382 --> 01:24:58,425 [♪ Pete Townshend: Let My Love Open the Door] 108391