subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for No Small Affair DVD sdh

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic Download

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal) Download

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,778 {\an8}[BOAT HORN BLOWING] 2 00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:16,307 {\an8}[BOAT HORN BLOWING] 3 00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,413 {\an8}[STREET SWEEPING MACHINE APPROACHING] 4 00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:38,629 {\an8}CHARLES: Sixteen years old and obsessed with photography. 5 00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,397 {\an8}Most kids my age are obsessed 6 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,899 {\an8}with the urge that arrives with puberty... 7 00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:45,569 {\an8}which has a lot in common with photography. 8 00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:48,472 {\an8}They both deal with images, both are done alone, 9 00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:52,243 {\an8}and both require a steady hand. 10 00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:54,045 {\an8}I think there's room in my life for the two, 11 00:01:54,048 --> 00:01:56,814 {\an8}but right now photography is exerting the stronger pull. 12 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:13,264 {\an8}WOMAN: Scott... 13 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,932 {\an8}MAN: I do care about the band. 14 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:16,233 {\an8}This is another approach 15 00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:18,369 {\an8}that I think they'll like better. 16 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:19,970 Like L.A. That's a better approach? 17 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,640 Excuse me... Excuse me. 18 00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:29,914 Could you please move? 19 00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:33,150 [COUPLE ARGUING] 20 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,286 Hey, you're in my shot. 21 00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:40,791 Would you please move? 22 00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:45,896 Let's just forget it. 23 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,465 Fine. 24 00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,099 Laura! 25 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,835 Don't do... Laura! 26 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,938 Wait a minute! Stop it! 27 00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:57,207 What is the matter with you? 28 00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,576 I hate photographing people. 29 00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,445 People are the worst. 30 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,731 [♪♪♪] 31 00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:26,504 How's it going? 32 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:27,972 Great. How'd they come out? 33 00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:30,274 Came out pretty good. That'll be... 34 00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:31,609 Twenty dollars is reasonable to charge 35 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,043 for a session of prints. 36 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,545 Why he wanted a graduation photo 37 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,979 of his daughter is beyond me. 38 00:03:35,982 --> 00:03:37,614 She only graduated from beauty school, 39 00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:38,983 and in my opinion, 40 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,751 she could have used a few more classes. 41 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,920 She was not what you would call photogenic. 42 00:03:44,457 --> 00:03:47,257 [♪♪♪] 43 00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:51,461 I don't like to extend credit, but sometimes you have to. 44 00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:53,297 I wouldn't do this kind of photography at all, 45 00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,666 except that I need $8,642. 46 00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:01,105 Whoa, Mrs. Mad Max and her killer Doberman. 47 00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,806 Morning, Cummings. 48 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,141 [DOG GROWLS] 49 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,910 There's room... really there is. 50 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,411 It's fine. It's okay, Mrs. Bennett, I'm fine. 51 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,180 I can make it myself. 52 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:12,116 Nice dog. 53 00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:13,250 [MUTTERING TO DOG] 54 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,852 No, no, I can handle it, really. 55 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,153 Don't worry. 56 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:18,456 Jesus Christ. 57 00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:31,535 Uh-oh. 58 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:37,441 My mom must be dating a real sport this time. 59 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,811 I can't wait to grow up. 60 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:48,786 [KNOCKS] 61 00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:51,722 I'm Charles Cummings, 62 00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,056 if you're wondering whose mother 63 00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:55,493 you had your way with. 64 00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:59,697 Hi. I'm, uh, I'm Ken. 65 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,698 I hope you're planning to marry her. 66 00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:03,868 You know, it is the only decent thing to do. 67 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,986 [POP MUSIC PLAYING] 68 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,474 [BUZZER SOUNDS] 69 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:51,582 What did you say to Ken when you barged in on him 70 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:52,750 in the bathroom? 71 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,718 I didn't barge. I knocked first. 72 00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:56,387 True barging is when you enter without knocking. 73 00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:57,521 What did you say? 74 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:58,755 Nothing. I gotta go to school. 75 00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:00,757 If I have a guest in my home, Charles, 76 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,459 I don't think it's too much to ask 77 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:03,994 that you be respectful. 78 00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,362 Yes, ma'am. 79 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,697 And don't think that I don't know 80 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,733 about you sneaking out at all hours. 81 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,601 Now, that is going to stop as of now. 82 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,970 - Mom... Mom, I'm gonna be late. - Oh, Charles, 83 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:15,473 I want you to come directly home after school today. 84 00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,241 Your brother, Leonard, is driving up 85 00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:19,276 to introduce us to his fiancée. 86 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,378 Mom. Mom, we met his fiancée. 87 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,646 But this is a new one. 88 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,150 Mom, has it ever occurred to you 89 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:28,919 that maybe he tells you he's engaged to these girls 90 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,253 so you'll let them sleep together 91 00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:32,689 when he comes here? 92 00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:34,758 Do all kids today talk back to their parents 93 00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:37,127 - the way you do? - Oh, no. 94 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,930 Most of them are too stoned to speak at all. 95 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:42,933 [LAUGHS] 96 00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,738 [ARCADE GAME BEEPING] 97 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,012 Cummings, more coffee? 98 00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:57,314 No thanks. 99 00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:59,049 - Last call. - No thanks, Grace. 100 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:00,717 Come on, let's go, Grace, let's go. 101 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,753 - Four-five. - One point four. 102 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,221 GRACE: I never get it right. 103 00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:05,856 Oh, don't worry about it, Grace. You'll live. 104 00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,858 Okay, one more. Go for it. 105 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,560 Two-eight. 106 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,728 - Two-- Oh. Ooh. - Good eye. 107 00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:14,030 Do you belong to the photography club? 108 00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,565 No. 109 00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:19,169 Oh, arrogant. I like that. 110 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,271 [ARCADE MUSIC BEEPING] 111 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:25,041 I don't suppose you're going to the dance next weekend. 112 00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:26,310 No. 113 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,444 Me either. 114 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,913 Wanna not go together? 115 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:32,049 Um, my brother Leonard is coming in this weekend. 116 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,883 He'll be real crushed if we don't have 117 00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:35,719 a full weekend of sibling rivalry. 118 00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,721 Oh, come on, we could go out to the airport. 119 00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:38,988 I hear they just installed 120 00:07:38,991 --> 00:07:41,858 these state-of-the-art games out there. 121 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,960 - I really don't think so. - What's the matter? 122 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,330 You don't like aggressive women? 123 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:47,931 - Well... - So, uh, you ask me out. 124 00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:50,233 Cummings isn't into girls, right, Cummings, huh? 125 00:07:50,236 --> 00:07:52,970 Wanna go out with me? Take my picture naked. 126 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,573 Oh. 127 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:57,741 Hey, Mona... 128 00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:59,476 What's your bra size? 129 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:03,013 Multiply the length of your dick by 10 and add your IQ. 130 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,788 Ask a simple question, she gives you a math problem. 131 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:15,125 [WOMAN SPEAKING FRENCH OVER SPEAKER] 132 00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:22,500 [MORE VOICES SPEAKING FRENCH BACK AND FORTH OVER SPEAKER] 133 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,106 [REPEATING IN FRENCH] 134 00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:34,878 CHARLES: Uh, Houston. This is shuttle control. 135 00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:36,446 [VOICE BREAKING UP] 136 00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,916 ...A renegade covert mission fly here. 137 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:41,051 We are preparing to photograph. 138 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,754 Do we have permission on... 139 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,056 Uh, Columbia, you have permission to fire. 140 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,658 And that's a two point eight light meter reading. 141 00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:50,027 Let's set our camera accordingly. 142 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,095 Here we go. And that one's set. 143 00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,698 Okay, guys, I think we caught this sucker red-handed. 144 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,233 Oh, this is a beautiful shot, guys. 145 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,668 This is beautiful, this sucker. Don't ever get out of... 146 00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:00,470 Oh, well, that's great. That's great. 147 00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,773 This is gonna be on the cover of TIME here. 148 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:03,774 [FLY BUZZING] 149 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,408 Oh, wait... we have liftoff. 150 00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:06,443 Oh, boy. 151 00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:08,779 [STUDENTS REPEATING IN FRENCH] 152 00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:13,049 MOTHER: It's not like Leonard not to call. 153 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,519 CHARLES: Mm, it's exactly like Leonard not to call. 154 00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:16,753 KEN: Come on, don't worry, Joan. 155 00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:17,955 The worst that happened is they... 156 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,422 uh, they got hung up in traffic. 157 00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:21,025 And the very worst that could have happened is 158 00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:22,826 that their car ran off the road, 159 00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:24,294 and they're bleeding to death in a drainage ditch. 160 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,163 What on earth is wrong with you, Charles? 161 00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:29,700 Nothing. Why? 162 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,268 Whatever possessed you to say such a thing? 163 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:34,805 I was just wondering along with, uh, Uncle Ken here 164 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,173 what could be keeping them. 165 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,908 I think that your interest in photography 166 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:42,545 has gone past the point of being healthy, Charles. 167 00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:43,980 You're spending too much time 168 00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:46,717 in that darkroom with those chemical fumes. 169 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,252 He's just going through a phase. 170 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,222 I got a call today from the principal's office. 171 00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:55,592 He was caught taking pictures of flies in his French class. 172 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,193 - Flies? - That's right. 173 00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:58,328 One fly. 174 00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:01,998 Yeah, I mean, all boys go through this. 175 00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:05,002 Probably needs to vent some of that excess energy. 176 00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:07,837 Have a girl, Chuck? 177 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,373 No, thanks, I'm full. 178 00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:14,210 Holy shit! 179 00:10:14,213 --> 00:10:16,580 All right, Charles, if you cannot conduct yourself 180 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:19,583 like a civilized human being, you can go to your room. 181 00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,151 Thanks, Mom. 182 00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:24,088 Uh, you can have my dessert, Uncle Ken. 183 00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:25,422 Well-- 184 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:28,325 The army might not be a bad idea for a kid like that. 185 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:29,592 Oh! 186 00:10:29,595 --> 00:10:30,928 I was-- I was in the Army. 187 00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:34,097 [MALCOLM McLAREN'S "EIFFEL TOWER" PLAYING 188 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,699 ♪ ...In Paris, France It's all the same ♪ 189 00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,234 ♪ It didn't matter If he was tame ♪ 190 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,936 ♪ 'Cause he was right All the women came ♪ 191 00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:41,905 ♪ Hold me Let your body hold me ♪ 192 00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:48,345 ♪ All night The one and only ♪ 193 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:49,913 ♪ I feel sexy ♪ 194 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:52,382 ♪ Sexy Eiffel Towers ♪ 195 00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:53,650 ♪ You make feel... ♪ 196 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,652 ♪ Hour after hour ♪ 197 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,589 ♪ I feel sexy ♪ 198 00:10:58,592 --> 00:11:00,690 ♪ Sexy Eiffel Towers ♪ 199 00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,793 ♪ You make me feel... ♪ 200 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,928 ♪ Hour after hour... ♪ 201 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,632 It's been said that life is full of surprises. 202 00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:12,335 Hmm, my life is mostly predictable and pretty dull. 203 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:14,571 Until this. 204 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:15,906 ♪ I love your Eiffel Tower ♪ 205 00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:17,808 ♪ You got something I admire ♪ 206 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,209 ♪ I love your Eiffel Tower ♪ 207 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,879 ♪ Four good legs To find your spire ♪ 208 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:23,746 ♪ I'm so sexy, I'm so hot ♪ 209 00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:25,883 ♪ Feel my treasure chest ♪ 210 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:28,218 ♪ Let's make love before I die ♪ 211 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,020 ♪ Who will be my special guest? ♪ 212 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,156 ♪ I feel sexy ♪ 213 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:34,424 ♪ Sexy Eiffel Towers ♪ 214 00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,493 ♪ You make me feel... ♪ 215 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,862 ♪ Hour after hour ♪ 216 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,732 You haven't seen her anywhere? You know her? 217 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,900 No, I don't know her, Cummings. 218 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,335 No, never seen her. 219 00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:49,539 No, never did. Sorry. 220 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:54,278 ♪ ...The one to hold me ♪ 221 00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:55,545 ♪ Hold me ♪ 222 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,080 ♪ I feel sexy ♪ 223 00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,449 ♪ Sexy Eiffel Towers ♪ 224 00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,184 ♪ You make me feel... ♪ 225 00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:02,853 ♪ Hour after hour ♪ 226 00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,722 Someone said if you stand in one spot long enough, 227 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,524 the whole world will pass by. 228 00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,593 I don't know who said that, but he's an idiot. 229 00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:11,328 [TIRES SQUEALING] 230 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,730 [WOMAN LAUGHS] 231 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,065 Welcome home, Leonard. 232 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,399 Yeah, my little brother. 233 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,034 Are you still playing in the street, huh? 234 00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:19,469 - Hi, I'm Susan. - Hi. 235 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,572 - Where's the red carpet? - Nice to meet you. 236 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,839 - What, have you met? - No. 237 00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:24,140 This is the lady of my dreams. 238 00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:25,342 He's got red cheeks, huh? 239 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,409 She's quite a gal. 240 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,145 Charles... come here. 241 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,679 Susan, here, come on, make yourself useful. 242 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:31,147 What do you think this is, a vacation? 243 00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:32,815 Ma was really sick about you, you know? 244 00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,150 Charles, don't stand there like a lump. 245 00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:35,786 You got a free hand. Come on, help us. 246 00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:38,155 Jesus Christ. What have you got in here, your old fiancée? 247 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,023 Come on, come on. Show her in. Show her in. 248 00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:41,624 Susan, when you get upstairs, run us a bath. 249 00:12:41,627 --> 00:12:44,027 That's a nice motor scooter. I like that motor scooter. 250 00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:45,429 So, uh, how long have you two known each other? 251 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,731 Is there a tennis court around here? 252 00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,533 What happened? Mom said you'd be home last night. 253 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:52,135 Susan got a throbbing case of los hornitos 254 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:55,238 and forced me to stop at a disgusting adult motel. 255 00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,474 No, it was your Mr. Winky that was doing the throbbing. 256 00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,509 Mom had visions of you lying dead in a drainage ditch. 257 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:02,045 We did the drainage-ditch number outside Santa Cruz. 258 00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:05,149 Ow! Yeah, she can't keep her hands off me. 259 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,385 - How long you staying? - Just till next Saturday. 260 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,320 We'll be leaving right after the wedding. 261 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,320 What wedding? 262 00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:12,823 Oh, Leonard and I are getting married. 263 00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:13,990 LEONARD: You know, a simple ceremony 264 00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:15,358 here in the apartment. 265 00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:17,661 One minister. Several hundred guests. 266 00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:18,929 Did you tell Mom? 267 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:20,864 Uh-uh. We wanted to surprise her. 268 00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,666 Ma! 269 00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:24,234 Mom, guess what? 270 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,936 MOTHER: I don't want to hear anymore about it. 271 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,837 LEONARD: Because we were both-- 272 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,474 CHARLES: She took the news of Leonard's wedding plans 273 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,109 better than I expected. 274 00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:34,277 Leonard always seemed to get what he wanted. 275 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,113 I never seem to get what I wanted. 276 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:38,515 Fortunately, I never really wanted much. 277 00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,083 But I wanted desperately to find... 278 00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:43,319 A girl. Yeah. 279 00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:46,290 Mid-20s. 280 00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,558 Dark, dark hair. 281 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,627 Um, distinguishing marks? 282 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:54,865 Uh... a symmetrical jaw line... 283 00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:59,369 uh, finely sculpted cheekbones. 284 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,371 Her eyes? Um, she has incredible eyes. 285 00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:04,574 I have a photo that I could bring down for you. 286 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:08,445 I have to call a caterer... and maids. 287 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:11,214 Oh! It's the bride's parents who are supposed to do this. 288 00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:13,216 I should call them. 289 00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:15,986 - Who are you talking to? - The police. Missing persons. 290 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,821 Oh, quit being such a smart-ass, Charles. 291 00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:19,055 Who is this? 292 00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:21,024 Who wants to see big tits? 293 00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,726 Mom, could I finish talking to them, please? 294 00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:25,261 Who are you really? 295 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:26,964 Charles, come on. We're going to the North Beach. 296 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,131 It's my engagement present to Susan. 297 00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:29,665 Leonard, I'm not going. 298 00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:31,568 I feel kinda funny looking at other women's bosoms. 299 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,270 Well, then, you just keep your eyes shut 300 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,439 and I'll describe every juicy detail to you. 301 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,274 - What do you mean you're not going? - I'm not. 302 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:39,676 Please, I am trying to talk to this man, 303 00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:41,744 - whoever he is. - I'm sorry, Ma. 304 00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:44,414 Charles, grab your fake ID, and let's hit the streets. 305 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,683 I'm terribly sorry. Now, who are you? 306 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,318 [DOOR CLOSES] 307 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:50,754 [TWISTED SISTER'S "WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW..." PLAYING] 308 00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,623 ♪ Good evening ♪ 309 00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:56,960 ♪ Welcome to our show ♪ 310 00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:58,495 MAN: We got the girls. Show time. 311 00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:03,667 Hi, there. Take a peek. Hey pal, come here. 312 00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:07,770 Come on in. come on in. 313 00:15:07,773 --> 00:15:09,372 Charles? 314 00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:10,673 Charles? 315 00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:11,742 Charles. 316 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:14,244 [BOTH LAUGHING] 317 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:16,946 [LAUGHS] Hi. How are you? 318 00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:18,281 Oh, you should have seen the size 319 00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:19,616 of the chi-chis on this one chick. 320 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:22,052 - Wa-whoo! - Oh, my God, they were big ones. 321 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:23,720 I know I should have, but I'm underage. 322 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,721 I can't legally look at chi-chis-- not even small ones. 323 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:28,225 No, no, it's no fair. You're not having a good time. 324 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:29,993 Aw. Perhaps Susan'll show you one of hers 325 00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,594 - when we get home. - I don't think so. 326 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,596 That's all right. I'm not all that interested. 327 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:34,998 Well, we don't go home 328 00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:37,200 until we get you into at least one club. 329 00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:39,269 But you have to be 21. What do you want me to do, 330 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,137 wander around here for another five years? 331 00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,707 - Oh, come on. - No, forget it. 332 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,241 - Hey, wait. - No, wait. 333 00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:46,843 Where are you going? 334 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:50,347 Wait... use my ID. 335 00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:53,216 This is never gonna work. 336 00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:55,051 Uh, I'm much better-looking than you are. 337 00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:56,319 You have to have a drink 338 00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,054 to toast my upcoming marriage. 339 00:15:58,057 --> 00:15:59,956 All they can do is just throw you out and, 340 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,892 uh, confiscate Leonard's driver's license. 341 00:16:01,895 --> 00:16:03,259 Uh, I'll probably get arrested. 342 00:16:03,262 --> 00:16:05,028 Oh, come on. They may not even card you. 343 00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:06,863 Listen, I haven't been asked for ID once tonight. 344 00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:08,798 No, they'll ask. I always get caught at stuff like this. 345 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,566 That's why I never do it. 346 00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:12,669 ♪ Heavy ♪ 347 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,571 ♪ Better learn I can't cool down ♪ 348 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,439 ♪ Hot n' heavy ♪ 349 00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:18,407 Hi. ID. 350 00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:19,643 Ah. 351 00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:31,254 All right, Susan. 352 00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:32,456 ID. 353 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,691 Let's see. 354 00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:40,630 Uh, American Express gold card, army discharge... 355 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:45,168 Uh... it's so rare I'm asked. I'm flattered. 356 00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:56,279 All right. 357 00:16:58,484 --> 00:16:59,982 Hi. ID. 358 00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:01,251 Huh? 359 00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,752 That was easy. 360 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,388 Oh, yes. 361 00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,958 The bouncer thought I looked like somebody he knew. 362 00:17:07,961 --> 00:17:10,026 - Who? - Andrew Jackson. 363 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,962 Oh! Oh, I want to sit on the balcony. 364 00:17:11,965 --> 00:17:13,363 All right. 365 00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:20,103 [APPLAUSE] 366 00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:25,141 - Hey, you. You work here? - Yeah. 367 00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:26,776 - What's your name? - Jake. 368 00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:28,845 - Jake-- Just like the club, huh? - Yeah. 369 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:31,180 That's a coincidence. I'm Leonard. Glad to meet you. 370 00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:33,583 Jake, does she take off her clothes? 371 00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,284 I'm sure she does... but not in here. 372 00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:37,420 So, what, do any of the chicks in here 373 00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:41,090 - take off their clothes? - No. 374 00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:42,726 [BAND STARTS PLAYING] 375 00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,501 Why would anybody wanna just look at a band? 376 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:54,104 Forget it. We're having one drink, and we're out of here. 377 00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:01,377 ♪ I never meant to let you Get so close to me ♪ 378 00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:03,613 - It's her! - LEONARD & SUSAN: Who? 379 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:06,916 - Who is she? What's her name? - I don't know. 380 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,117 Good. Maybe he's got a friend. 381 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:11,220 ♪ To love someone ♪ 382 00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:12,388 ♪ Oh, what a stranger... ♪ 383 00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:13,856 Hey, move it. Move it, buddy. 384 00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:15,958 [MEN CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN] 385 00:18:15,961 --> 00:18:19,395 ♪ ...Seeming that my soul Is sinking... ♪ 386 00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:21,431 I tell ya, kid, sit down! 387 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,834 ♪ The things you're thinking Stop with your aiming ♪ 388 00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:27,137 - ♪ Those eyes at me ♪ - Ernie. Out! 389 00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:34,644 Let's go out. 390 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,013 Out! Come on. I was a nice guy. 391 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,881 I let you in with that phony ID. Don't give me any grief. 392 00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:41,651 Yeah, maybe we'd better get Charlie and just go. 393 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:44,321 - Why? Charles is having fun. - No, he's not. 394 00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:48,524 Hey! That's my baby brother! 395 00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,127 - Hey! - [PLATES BREAK] 396 00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:54,564 Yeah, get 'em-- Get 'em out of there. 397 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,800 [CLANGING] 398 00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:04,741 [SHOUTING AND STRUGGLING] 399 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,781 ♪ Start you with a good thing That's going right ♪ 400 00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:15,885 ♪ Start you with a good thing Just one more night ♪ 401 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,754 ♪ One more night ♪ 402 00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:19,256 What's your name? 403 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:21,157 Laura. 404 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,859 Let's go, buddy. 405 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:25,595 ♪ Another chance to live To see another day now ♪ 406 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:29,699 ♪ Don't pull the trigger... ♪♪ 407 00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:31,301 ♪ Don't go tell me... ♪ 408 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,840 [MOANING AND THUMPING] 409 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:43,246 If he could, Leonard would strap cymbals to his knees 410 00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:45,382 and clang them during the act. 411 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,753 - [LAUGHING] - Jesus Christ! 412 00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,456 [KNOCKS ON WALL IN RESPONSE] 413 00:19:58,564 --> 00:20:02,766 I am not letting your escapades spoil my Sunday brunch. 414 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,401 Now start eating. 415 00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:17,747 Leonard, your sausage is getting cold. 416 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,148 Mom, I, uh, 417 00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:21,952 wouldn't worry about Leonard's sausage. 418 00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:24,286 You'd think that someone about to get married 419 00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:26,856 would have more sense. 420 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:30,759 And you can just thank your lucky stars 421 00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:32,395 that the owner isn't pressing charges. 422 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:33,897 The bouncer knew the ID was phony. 423 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,065 - He even said so. - I don't want to discuss it. 424 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,900 I just want to have a pleasant Sunday brunch. 425 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:41,238 - These waffles are great. - Oh, well have some more. 426 00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:45,608 - May I be excused? - Yes. 427 00:20:45,611 --> 00:20:47,777 When you clean your plate. 428 00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,759 I, uh, I gotta say something here. 429 00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:06,629 Charles, I know you look at me, and you think I'm, 430 00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:08,598 uh, some square dude, right? 431 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,199 I don't think that. 432 00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:11,400 Now, don't-- no, let me finish. 433 00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:14,670 I'm a '60s person, okay? 434 00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:16,840 I smoked pot. I had long hair. 435 00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:18,941 We all wore granny shades... The whole bit, man. 436 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,177 But I don't want to bore you with the details, 437 00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:23,413 but I do want you to know where I'm coming from. 438 00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,615 I think I know. 439 00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:29,218 Being weird and different is not where it's at. 440 00:21:29,221 --> 00:21:30,753 It takes energy, Chuck. 441 00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:35,158 Energy that you could put into being normal. 442 00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:37,927 Boy, if you really work at it, you have a real shot at being 443 00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:40,530 a very successful, normal person. 444 00:21:42,268 --> 00:21:43,733 Okay, specifics. 445 00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:47,604 You like to take the, uh, the snaps, huh? 446 00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:50,473 So get yourself on the school paper. You see? 447 00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:52,675 And you cover the sports beat. 448 00:21:52,678 --> 00:21:54,977 And you get yourself some zippy clothes, 449 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,913 and who knows, you could end up with a cheerleader. 450 00:21:57,916 --> 00:21:59,082 [LAUGHS] 451 00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:01,284 He's right. 452 00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:03,085 So, what do you think? 453 00:22:03,088 --> 00:22:04,888 No, no. Don't do that. Don't censor yourself. 454 00:22:07,193 --> 00:22:08,391 Huh... 455 00:22:08,394 --> 00:22:09,859 CHARLES: Grounded. 456 00:22:09,862 --> 00:22:12,562 As if Sundays aren't bad enough. 457 00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:14,663 Next time they ask me how I feel, 458 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:16,132 I think I'll just give them 459 00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:17,867 the old tried and true "I don't know." 460 00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:22,472 [TIM FARRISS' "ANY DAY BUT SUNDAY" PLAYING] 461 00:22:25,611 --> 00:22:28,411 ♪ Lights down low ♪ 462 00:22:28,414 --> 00:22:32,248 ♪ Any day but Sunday Smarty-pants, smarty-pants ♪ 463 00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:36,419 ♪ Any day but Sunday Smarty-pants, smarty-pants ♪ 464 00:22:36,422 --> 00:22:40,756 ♪ Any day but Sunday smarty-pants, smarty-pants ♪ 465 00:22:40,759 --> 00:22:44,894 ♪ Any day but Sunday Smarty-pants, smarty-pants ♪ 466 00:23:01,613 --> 00:23:04,881 ♪ Dance the disco To the floor... ♪ 467 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,654 ♪ Watch me walk And hear me talk... ♪ 468 00:23:13,659 --> 00:23:15,157 LAURA: We are really good. 469 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,327 MAN: Is that why kids almost 10 years younger than me 470 00:23:17,330 --> 00:23:19,395 are on hot records and touring. And what am I doing? 471 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,131 I'm sitting here still playing bars. 472 00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:24,067 LAURA: Jake, would you talk to him? 473 00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:25,902 I've been talking to him for a week. 474 00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,540 - Hi. - Hi. 475 00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:33,810 Didn't the cops take you away last night? 476 00:23:33,813 --> 00:23:37,180 Yeah, they did. But my Mom bailed me out. 477 00:23:38,450 --> 00:23:40,082 You'd better get out of here. 478 00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:42,118 If Jake sees you, he will break both of your legs. 479 00:23:42,121 --> 00:23:45,121 Just let me give you this, and I won't take anymore of your time. 480 00:23:45,124 --> 00:23:46,823 [WHISPERS] Get down! 481 00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:48,891 JAKE: If that's the way you feel, I respect your decision. 482 00:23:48,894 --> 00:23:51,995 I'm glad somebody around here does. 483 00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:58,167 You couldn't get through either. 484 00:23:58,170 --> 00:23:59,402 I gotta tell you, Laura, 485 00:23:59,405 --> 00:24:01,070 he makes awfully good points. 486 00:24:01,073 --> 00:24:02,839 And you're the one who's supposed to be 487 00:24:02,842 --> 00:24:05,741 - convincing him to stay? - You can't deny good points. 488 00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:08,010 There's nothing good about leaving the band 489 00:24:08,013 --> 00:24:09,712 to become a half-assed studio musician. 490 00:24:09,715 --> 00:24:11,347 The money is good. The hours are good. 491 00:24:11,350 --> 00:24:13,349 - I didn't ask you for a list. - The conditions are good. 492 00:24:13,352 --> 00:24:15,351 Hey, if you two are gonna slug it out, do it over here 493 00:24:15,354 --> 00:24:18,822 where everything is already broken. I'll be in the office. 494 00:24:20,492 --> 00:24:22,057 LAURA: Why are you doing this? 495 00:24:22,060 --> 00:24:24,026 Laura, I've been playing in a rock 'n' roll band 496 00:24:24,029 --> 00:24:26,162 since I've been in junior high school, 497 00:24:26,165 --> 00:24:28,197 and I'm still a struggling musician. 498 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,533 - I'm too old for this shit. - LAURA: Come on. You're 28. 499 00:24:30,536 --> 00:24:32,335 SCOTT: Don't you understand that if you don't 500 00:24:32,338 --> 00:24:34,770 make it young in this business you don't make it at all? 501 00:24:34,773 --> 00:24:36,739 Laura, there comes a time 502 00:24:36,742 --> 00:24:38,675 when you've got to drop the fantasy. 503 00:24:38,678 --> 00:24:41,444 LAURA: Then drop the fantasy, but don't drop it on me, 504 00:24:41,447 --> 00:24:43,613 because, Scott, I'm gonna make it. 505 00:24:43,616 --> 00:24:45,481 SCOTT: You're kidding yourself. 506 00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:46,983 [FOOTSTEPS WALKING AWAY] 507 00:24:57,329 --> 00:25:00,362 JAKE: I'll guarantee 10 weeks. 508 00:25:00,365 --> 00:25:02,498 Five hundred a week. 509 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:04,701 Tomorrow night. 510 00:25:06,038 --> 00:25:07,737 Yes, I know they opened for Fleetwood Mac, Bobby. 511 00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:10,039 I saw the concert. 512 00:25:10,042 --> 00:25:13,209 Yes, I heard the audience. No, they were yelling-- 513 00:25:13,212 --> 00:25:16,178 "We want Fleetwood Mac" is what they were yelling, Bobby. 514 00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:17,780 No, I can't go 750. 515 00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:20,516 And I-- I'm telling you 516 00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:22,151 that I'll stand on the stage and hum 517 00:25:22,154 --> 00:25:24,620 before I go 750. 518 00:25:24,623 --> 00:25:27,857 Yeah, you think about it too. 519 00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:30,193 [SIGHS] 520 00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:32,629 Jake, you don't need to book another band. 521 00:25:32,632 --> 00:25:35,231 - Did you get him to stay? - You don't need Scott. 522 00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:37,867 I can get Snuffy to fill in on the keyboards. Please. 523 00:25:37,870 --> 00:25:40,469 I'd love to help you out. I think you're a great singer, 524 00:25:40,472 --> 00:25:41,737 but it's gonna sound a little thin 525 00:25:41,740 --> 00:25:43,405 - without the lead guitar. - No. 526 00:25:43,408 --> 00:25:46,008 I'm in this business long enough to know you need the whole band. 527 00:25:46,011 --> 00:25:47,910 Okay, we'll get another lead guitarist. 528 00:25:47,913 --> 00:25:50,246 - Let me talk to Murray. - Please? 529 00:25:50,249 --> 00:25:52,215 Jake Lewis. 530 00:25:52,218 --> 00:25:55,218 Jake, if we don't fill the club, then you can get another band. 531 00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:56,752 Listen, Murph... 532 00:25:56,755 --> 00:25:58,621 And you don't have to pay us. 533 00:26:02,894 --> 00:26:06,095 Uh, hold the line a second, Murph. 534 00:26:06,098 --> 00:26:09,566 Jake, I have never asked you for anything, but I need this. 535 00:26:14,707 --> 00:26:16,806 And I'll lose the band. 536 00:26:18,844 --> 00:26:21,578 Let me get back to you, Murph. 537 00:26:27,953 --> 00:26:31,521 Ah, honey, I know it's tough. 538 00:26:31,524 --> 00:26:33,256 Don't worry, I'm not gonna cry. 539 00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:35,324 What do you think, 540 00:26:35,327 --> 00:26:37,660 I'm gonna throw you out on the street? 541 00:26:37,663 --> 00:26:39,662 It'll be okay. We'll give it a try. 542 00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:42,598 Thanks, Jake. 543 00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:44,233 Oh. 544 00:26:45,404 --> 00:26:48,003 You know, I could kill that son of a bitch 545 00:26:48,006 --> 00:26:50,840 for breaking your heart like this. 546 00:26:50,843 --> 00:26:53,443 - Jake... - Yeah? 547 00:26:53,446 --> 00:26:57,613 I know that feels broken too... but it's not. 548 00:26:57,616 --> 00:26:59,282 Yeah. 549 00:27:00,853 --> 00:27:02,452 All right. We'll give this a try. 550 00:27:02,455 --> 00:27:04,153 But remember, I'm running a business here. 551 00:27:04,156 --> 00:27:05,788 If you don't draw, we're just gonna 552 00:27:05,791 --> 00:27:07,490 have to bring in another band. 553 00:27:07,493 --> 00:27:09,626 Jake, can you loan me five? 554 00:27:16,035 --> 00:27:17,600 Jake! 555 00:27:17,603 --> 00:27:20,068 Jake, open up. Come on, let me out. 556 00:27:20,071 --> 00:27:22,204 What? Who-- Who's in there? 557 00:27:22,207 --> 00:27:26,476 You can bet it's not a satisfied customer. 558 00:27:26,479 --> 00:27:28,510 Don't let this happen again. 559 00:27:28,513 --> 00:27:30,313 [POP MUSIC PLAYING] 560 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:32,982 Hey! 561 00:27:43,695 --> 00:27:45,862 - [HONKS] - [TIRES SQUEAL] 562 00:27:48,767 --> 00:27:51,200 CHARLES: He's a terrific swimmer, isn't he? 563 00:27:53,105 --> 00:27:54,437 You again. 564 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,205 You know, at an early embryonic stage, 565 00:27:57,208 --> 00:28:00,809 people have gills. Just like fish. 566 00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:03,780 Well, like, uh, tadpoles actually. 567 00:28:07,419 --> 00:28:08,818 There's a kid at my school 568 00:28:08,821 --> 00:28:10,887 whose little brother still has a gill. 569 00:28:10,890 --> 00:28:12,755 It, uh, never grew back together 570 00:28:12,758 --> 00:28:14,490 or whatever it was supposed to do. 571 00:28:14,493 --> 00:28:17,460 So he wears turtleneck sweaters all the time. 572 00:28:19,932 --> 00:28:21,630 What do you want? 573 00:28:21,633 --> 00:28:23,766 Oh, nothing, nothing. 574 00:28:25,871 --> 00:28:28,104 Well, um... That's not true, really. 575 00:28:28,107 --> 00:28:31,007 I wanted you to look at the photographs. 576 00:28:31,010 --> 00:28:32,475 What photographs? 577 00:28:44,856 --> 00:28:46,622 You're the guy who was yelling at us 578 00:28:46,625 --> 00:28:48,257 to get out of the shot. 579 00:28:48,260 --> 00:28:50,492 Yeah, that's right. That's true. 580 00:28:50,495 --> 00:28:52,328 I was trying to get the street sweeper. 581 00:28:53,832 --> 00:28:55,164 Well, the light's not real good in here, 582 00:28:55,167 --> 00:28:56,733 and they're kind of rough anyway 583 00:28:56,736 --> 00:28:58,033 because I didn't plan for the shots. 584 00:28:58,036 --> 00:29:00,470 I mean, I can do a lot better. 585 00:29:03,576 --> 00:29:04,840 Um... 586 00:29:04,843 --> 00:29:08,110 So, uh, you come here 587 00:29:08,113 --> 00:29:10,079 just to look at this one fish? 588 00:29:12,351 --> 00:29:15,017 When something's bothering me, I come and I watch the fish, 589 00:29:15,020 --> 00:29:17,754 and whatever's bothering me goes away. 590 00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:28,498 It's not working today. 591 00:29:32,638 --> 00:29:34,937 Well, uh... 592 00:29:34,940 --> 00:29:38,140 I guess I'd better be going then. 593 00:29:38,143 --> 00:29:40,509 What I was wondering, actually, is if you would allow me 594 00:29:40,512 --> 00:29:43,211 to photograph you some time. Uh, whenever it's convenient. 595 00:29:43,214 --> 00:29:47,082 Look... That's very considerate. 596 00:29:47,085 --> 00:29:48,450 Do you have a portfolio? 597 00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:50,352 I, I mean you should have a portfolio. 598 00:29:50,355 --> 00:29:51,887 You know, for publicity and like that. 599 00:29:51,890 --> 00:29:53,723 I'm really a good photographer. 600 00:29:53,726 --> 00:29:55,958 And I'm a really good singer, 601 00:29:55,961 --> 00:29:57,460 but I'm about to be an out-of-work singer 602 00:29:57,463 --> 00:29:59,127 unless I fill the club where I work, 603 00:29:59,130 --> 00:30:00,662 or play hide the sausage with my boss, 604 00:30:00,665 --> 00:30:02,030 which I'll never do, 605 00:30:02,033 --> 00:30:03,598 and I don't have a lead guitarist, 606 00:30:03,601 --> 00:30:05,600 and I don't know where I'm gonna find a decent one, 607 00:30:05,603 --> 00:30:08,037 and I know that this all must sound terribly trivial to you, 608 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,907 in comparison to your need to take my picture, 609 00:30:10,910 --> 00:30:13,142 but it's really important to me, 610 00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:15,343 so I would appreciate it if you would just go away 611 00:30:15,346 --> 00:30:17,480 so I can figure out what I'm gonna do. 612 00:30:26,091 --> 00:30:29,492 Here's my number, if you change your mind. 613 00:30:30,629 --> 00:30:33,061 Charles Cummings. 614 00:30:33,064 --> 00:30:35,364 Yeah, yeah. Charles. 615 00:30:35,367 --> 00:30:38,767 Or, or, or you can call me Cummings. 616 00:30:38,770 --> 00:30:41,404 Fine, Cummings. Goodbye. 617 00:30:53,952 --> 00:30:56,651 CHARLES: I only know one thing. 618 00:30:56,654 --> 00:30:59,855 I'm miserable and you're a lucky fish. 619 00:30:59,858 --> 00:31:01,524 You get to look at her. 620 00:31:04,663 --> 00:31:07,896 You don't exactly have anything festive, Charles. 621 00:31:07,899 --> 00:31:09,732 I can dress myself, Susan. 622 00:31:09,735 --> 00:31:11,266 So let's just give him a white shirt. 623 00:31:11,269 --> 00:31:13,502 Maybe he'll spill something colorful on it later on. 624 00:31:13,505 --> 00:31:16,105 - [GIGGLES] - You know, you are so lucky. 625 00:31:16,108 --> 00:31:18,073 You get to spend this nice, quiet evening 626 00:31:18,076 --> 00:31:19,508 at home with Mom. 627 00:31:19,511 --> 00:31:21,276 Charles and I gotta go 628 00:31:21,279 --> 00:31:23,612 to this boring old stag party. 629 00:31:23,615 --> 00:31:26,015 I hate stag parties. 630 00:31:26,018 --> 00:31:27,383 Good, don't go. 631 00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:30,887 [LAUGHS] No, I'm just kidding. 632 00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:44,633 We'll get you laid tonight. 633 00:31:44,636 --> 00:31:47,236 Maybe we'll both get laid. 634 00:31:47,239 --> 00:31:49,071 Why do you want to get laid? 635 00:31:49,074 --> 00:31:50,406 You're getting married in a week. 636 00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:51,907 - Don't you love Susan? - Oh, come on. 637 00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:54,076 Of course, I love Susan. 638 00:31:54,079 --> 00:31:56,077 Listen, sex has nothing to do with love. 639 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:57,846 Sex washes off. 640 00:31:57,849 --> 00:31:59,514 Well, if I loved somebody, 641 00:31:59,517 --> 00:32:01,417 - I wouldn't go around having sex. - Oh, yeah, right. 642 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:04,720 You don't go around having sex now. 643 00:32:04,723 --> 00:32:06,121 Who are you in love with? 644 00:32:06,124 --> 00:32:08,157 Nobody. I could have sex. I just don't want to. 645 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,927 No, everybody wants to. 646 00:32:10,930 --> 00:32:12,561 I bet you'd like to give that singer a pump. 647 00:32:12,564 --> 00:32:14,597 - I would not. - Yeah. 648 00:32:15,801 --> 00:32:17,934 [WOMAN MOANING AND GASPING] 649 00:32:19,872 --> 00:32:21,770 CHARLES: I remember asking my mother once 650 00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:23,539 where babies came from, 651 00:32:23,542 --> 00:32:25,707 and she told me one of the most outrageous, 652 00:32:25,710 --> 00:32:29,344 incredible stories that I had ever heard. 653 00:32:29,347 --> 00:32:31,480 It turned out to be true. 654 00:32:33,852 --> 00:32:36,786 This is not natural. 655 00:32:36,789 --> 00:32:38,887 Neither is that. 656 00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:41,523 I never seen that before. 657 00:32:41,526 --> 00:32:43,759 There's something very wrong about looking at filth 658 00:32:43,762 --> 00:32:47,529 on the same screen you watch football. 659 00:32:47,532 --> 00:32:48,998 She will receive. 660 00:32:51,603 --> 00:32:52,701 [DOOR CLOSES] 661 00:32:52,704 --> 00:32:54,003 Animals and gentlemen... 662 00:32:54,006 --> 00:32:56,371 I'd like to introduce Stephanie. 663 00:32:56,374 --> 00:32:58,040 - [MEN MURMUR] - Hi, guys. 664 00:32:58,043 --> 00:32:59,375 Where's the man of the hour? 665 00:32:59,378 --> 00:33:01,510 - Right here. - What is this? 666 00:33:01,513 --> 00:33:03,912 What is this? This is your present. 667 00:33:03,915 --> 00:33:05,314 We all chipped in and got you 668 00:33:05,317 --> 00:33:07,382 - a hundred-buck- an-hour hooker. - Sex surrogate. 669 00:33:07,385 --> 00:33:09,919 Unfortunately, we could only raise enough 670 00:33:09,922 --> 00:33:11,253 for half an hour. 671 00:33:11,256 --> 00:33:13,488 That's 29 minutes more than Leonard needs. 672 00:33:13,491 --> 00:33:15,257 Hi. 673 00:33:15,260 --> 00:33:17,059 Okay, enough small talk. The meter's running. 674 00:33:17,062 --> 00:33:18,794 Could you hold on for just a minute? 675 00:33:18,797 --> 00:33:20,396 Come here. 676 00:33:24,803 --> 00:33:27,636 This is a one-room apartment you got here, Einstein. 677 00:33:27,639 --> 00:33:29,838 Where am I supposed to go with her, in the closet? 678 00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:31,140 Take her into the bathroom. 679 00:33:31,143 --> 00:33:32,608 I'm not gonna do it in the bathroom. 680 00:33:32,611 --> 00:33:34,442 - I do it all the time. - Yeah, you're alone. 681 00:33:34,445 --> 00:33:37,179 So just go right down here behind the counter. 682 00:33:37,182 --> 00:33:41,784 I, uh, I think this is the climactic scene. 683 00:33:41,787 --> 00:33:44,253 [WOMAN CLIMAXING] 684 00:33:44,256 --> 00:33:47,156 Guys, I told you, this was a stupid idea. 685 00:33:47,159 --> 00:33:48,923 Maybe she'll give us a refund. 686 00:33:48,926 --> 00:33:50,526 [CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY] 687 00:33:51,697 --> 00:33:53,294 Um, I'll be with you in a second. 688 00:33:53,297 --> 00:33:54,830 [MOANING CONTINUES ON TV] 689 00:33:54,833 --> 00:33:57,099 My kid brother's here. This makes me feel... 690 00:33:57,102 --> 00:33:59,368 So, what are you gonna do? 691 00:34:01,106 --> 00:34:02,537 I know a place we could go. 692 00:34:02,540 --> 00:34:05,141 - He talks? - Leave him alone. What, Chuck? 693 00:34:05,144 --> 00:34:07,409 First, let's have a little toast to my brother, 694 00:34:07,412 --> 00:34:10,246 and then I'll tell you what I have in mind. 695 00:34:12,317 --> 00:34:14,449 MEN: Laura! Laura! Laura... 696 00:34:14,452 --> 00:34:17,119 Would you get off the phone and get out there? 697 00:34:17,122 --> 00:34:18,621 - What's going on? - I have no idea. 698 00:34:18,624 --> 00:34:20,790 Let's go now. She'll call you back. 699 00:34:20,793 --> 00:34:25,193 MEN: Laura! Laura! Laura! Laura! 700 00:34:25,196 --> 00:34:26,928 Laura! Laura! 701 00:34:26,931 --> 00:34:28,396 [CHEERING] 702 00:34:28,399 --> 00:34:30,199 [MEN WHISTLE AND APPLAUD] 703 00:34:32,437 --> 00:34:34,336 So, what are you guys-- friends of Laura? 704 00:34:34,339 --> 00:34:36,405 No. Just music lovers. 705 00:34:38,143 --> 00:34:40,076 [MUSIC STARTS] 706 00:34:55,293 --> 00:34:57,926 ♪ If you're looking For trouble ♪ 707 00:34:57,929 --> 00:34:59,695 ♪ Don't go to no trouble ♪ 708 00:34:59,698 --> 00:35:03,098 ♪ There's trouble for you Inside these eyes ♪ 709 00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:05,701 ♪ I'm on to what you are ♪ 710 00:35:05,704 --> 00:35:07,569 ♪ You're pushing me too far ♪ 711 00:35:07,572 --> 00:35:11,273 ♪ As far as it goes I'm twice your size ♪ 712 00:35:11,276 --> 00:35:15,210 ♪ I'm itching for a fight ♪ 713 00:35:15,213 --> 00:35:19,181 ♪ Gonna have it out tonight ♪ 714 00:35:19,184 --> 00:35:22,984 ♪ You've been doing time With someone new and I'm... ♪ 715 00:35:22,987 --> 00:35:24,820 [SCREAMS] 716 00:35:24,823 --> 00:35:25,788 That chick is hot! 717 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:30,726 She's great! 718 00:35:30,729 --> 00:35:36,265 ♪ I'll be itching you A bitch tonight ♪ 719 00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:46,374 ♪ If you're looking For problems ♪ 720 00:35:46,377 --> 00:35:49,178 ♪ Hey, baby, no problem ♪ 721 00:35:49,181 --> 00:35:52,247 ♪ I'm having no problem Losing you ♪ 722 00:35:52,250 --> 00:35:54,316 Charles, hey. 723 00:35:54,319 --> 00:35:55,818 [STIRS] 724 00:35:55,821 --> 00:35:57,919 Someone is here to see you, Charles. 725 00:35:57,922 --> 00:35:59,254 That's right. 726 00:35:59,257 --> 00:36:01,623 I told a certain someone what you did tonight. 727 00:36:01,626 --> 00:36:03,359 - You touched her, Charles. - What? 728 00:36:03,362 --> 00:36:06,562 You touched her deep inside. 729 00:36:06,565 --> 00:36:08,697 So I'll leave you two alone now. 730 00:36:10,135 --> 00:36:11,834 [DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES] 731 00:36:14,039 --> 00:36:16,071 You are so sweet. 732 00:36:16,074 --> 00:36:17,306 Do you know that? 733 00:36:20,646 --> 00:36:21,844 Leonard said you wouldn't mind. 734 00:36:23,381 --> 00:36:27,582 I, um... I have to go to school tomorrow. 735 00:36:27,585 --> 00:36:30,819 Early. I have-- I have to go very early. 736 00:36:30,822 --> 00:36:32,054 And what grade are you in? 737 00:36:32,057 --> 00:36:33,522 Sixth. 738 00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:35,991 I, uh, I mean, 11th. I'm a junior. 739 00:36:35,994 --> 00:36:37,192 Don't get nervous. 740 00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:38,627 I'm not. 741 00:36:38,630 --> 00:36:41,130 Good. 742 00:36:41,133 --> 00:36:42,531 I don't know why I'm doing this. 743 00:36:42,534 --> 00:36:44,934 I guess I'm just in a very charitable mood. 744 00:36:44,937 --> 00:36:46,869 And you... 745 00:36:46,872 --> 00:36:49,705 You are so sweet. 746 00:36:49,708 --> 00:36:52,140 Oh... 747 00:36:52,143 --> 00:36:53,909 What's wrong? 748 00:36:53,912 --> 00:36:56,144 Um, I have... I have a headache. 749 00:36:56,147 --> 00:36:58,714 Oh, maybe you'd like me to rub the back of your neck. 750 00:36:58,717 --> 00:37:01,583 Oh, no thanks. I can rub my own neck. 751 00:37:01,586 --> 00:37:03,785 Thanks. 752 00:37:03,788 --> 00:37:06,655 - Can you swim? - I don't know. 753 00:37:06,658 --> 00:37:09,658 It's just like swimming-- the butterfly stroke. 754 00:37:09,661 --> 00:37:13,462 And... I was state champion. 755 00:37:16,300 --> 00:37:20,035 I'm, uh... I, uh... 756 00:37:20,038 --> 00:37:23,638 I really appreciate what you're trying to do, 757 00:37:23,641 --> 00:37:25,740 but it's just such a surprise. 758 00:37:25,743 --> 00:37:28,643 There's nothing wrong with a little surprise. 759 00:37:28,646 --> 00:37:29,912 Ooh. 760 00:37:31,048 --> 00:37:32,046 STEPHANIE: Ooh! 761 00:37:32,049 --> 00:37:33,715 - I'm sorry. - Ow. 762 00:37:33,718 --> 00:37:35,550 Oh! 763 00:37:35,553 --> 00:37:36,651 [LAUGHS] Leonard didn't tell me 764 00:37:36,654 --> 00:37:38,587 you were into S and M. 765 00:37:38,590 --> 00:37:39,755 Oh! 766 00:37:39,758 --> 00:37:41,323 Look, maybe we'd better just stop this 767 00:37:41,326 --> 00:37:42,957 before you get a concussion or something. 768 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,427 Listen, it really, it's... it's nothing personal. 769 00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:47,395 It's, it's just that I-- 770 00:37:47,398 --> 00:37:49,131 Look, I know. 771 00:37:49,134 --> 00:37:51,300 I really do understand. 772 00:37:51,303 --> 00:37:53,501 The first time is always scary. 773 00:37:53,504 --> 00:37:54,770 Did Leonard tell you that? 774 00:37:54,773 --> 00:37:57,039 No! Uh-uh, it was just a wild guess. 775 00:37:57,042 --> 00:38:00,575 Well... I want you to know I think... 776 00:38:00,578 --> 00:38:02,811 I think you're a very nice lady. 777 00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:05,513 Oh, and I think you're a very nice man. 778 00:38:05,516 --> 00:38:07,182 And when you're ready, 779 00:38:07,185 --> 00:38:09,884 I'm sure you're gonna make someone a very nice lover. 780 00:38:09,887 --> 00:38:11,920 Thank you. 781 00:38:11,923 --> 00:38:13,455 You're welcome. 782 00:38:16,161 --> 00:38:17,326 Um... 783 00:38:18,363 --> 00:38:19,361 What? 784 00:38:19,364 --> 00:38:21,797 Never mind. 785 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,632 What? 786 00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:26,702 No, it's really it's-- it's stupid. Forget it. 787 00:38:26,705 --> 00:38:30,205 Look, I've had men ask me some very stupid questions. 788 00:38:30,208 --> 00:38:33,241 Well, um... 789 00:38:33,244 --> 00:38:34,743 You know, I don't want you to think 790 00:38:34,746 --> 00:38:38,881 I'm-- I'm coming on to you or anything, 791 00:38:38,884 --> 00:38:43,351 but, um... 792 00:38:43,354 --> 00:38:46,354 could I have a hug? 793 00:38:46,357 --> 00:38:51,126 [LAUGHS] I think that's a first for me. 794 00:38:51,129 --> 00:38:52,761 Yes. 795 00:39:00,138 --> 00:39:02,003 Charles, what is all the noise going on... 796 00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:03,004 Mom! 797 00:39:03,007 --> 00:39:04,072 - Uh... - Oh! 798 00:39:04,075 --> 00:39:05,440 Mom? 799 00:39:05,443 --> 00:39:07,008 Mom, Stephanie. 800 00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:09,077 - Stephanie, Mom. - Hi. 801 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,446 CHARLES: Um, you're not gonna believe this, 802 00:39:11,449 --> 00:39:13,782 but-- but Stephanie here was state champion 803 00:39:13,785 --> 00:39:16,751 of the breaststroke-- butterfly stroke. 804 00:39:16,754 --> 00:39:21,256 She still has those big, nice swimmer shoulders... 805 00:39:21,259 --> 00:39:22,724 doesn't she though? 806 00:39:22,727 --> 00:39:24,259 You must be a wonderful mother 807 00:39:24,262 --> 00:39:27,395 because you raised an absolutely terrific son. 808 00:39:27,398 --> 00:39:28,931 That's, um... 809 00:39:30,368 --> 00:39:32,101 two terrific sons. 810 00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:39,608 CHARLES: Grounded till I'm 40. 811 00:39:39,611 --> 00:39:41,943 Well, I can see my mother's side. 812 00:39:41,946 --> 00:39:43,879 Naked women in your room are tough to explain, 813 00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:47,182 even if you're innocent, which I still am, in spades. 814 00:39:47,185 --> 00:39:49,251 Hi, Charles. How've you been? 815 00:39:49,254 --> 00:39:50,652 Fine. 816 00:39:52,590 --> 00:39:53,955 Hi, Charles. How you been? 817 00:39:53,958 --> 00:39:55,824 - Hey, Charles. - Hey, hey. What is this? 818 00:39:55,827 --> 00:39:57,892 - Is this a Frisbee for midgets? - Give it here, Nelson. 819 00:39:57,895 --> 00:40:00,395 Let's see how far I can throw it, huh? 820 00:40:00,398 --> 00:40:01,763 Whoosh. 821 00:40:01,766 --> 00:40:03,965 - Whoop, whoop, whoop. - Nelson, give it here. 822 00:40:03,968 --> 00:40:05,801 Knock it off. 823 00:40:07,571 --> 00:40:08,970 Nelson, give it here. 824 00:40:08,973 --> 00:40:11,306 Seriously, Charles. I've got this friend, Bruce, 825 00:40:11,309 --> 00:40:12,974 who wants to go to the dance with you. 826 00:40:12,977 --> 00:40:15,511 Uh, you can flip a coin to see who wears the dress. 827 00:40:15,514 --> 00:40:17,312 [LAUGHING] 828 00:40:17,315 --> 00:40:18,514 Cummings. 829 00:40:21,485 --> 00:40:22,718 Excuse me. 830 00:40:25,390 --> 00:40:27,522 - What are you doing here? - Hi. How you doing? 831 00:40:27,525 --> 00:40:29,824 Great now. 832 00:40:29,827 --> 00:40:32,393 I, uh, I just wanted to thank you for the other night. 833 00:40:32,396 --> 00:40:34,363 CHARLES: Mm, that was nothing. 834 00:40:34,366 --> 00:40:35,831 LAURA: Well, it really meant a lot to me, 835 00:40:35,834 --> 00:40:38,467 and I just want you to know that I appreciate it. 836 00:40:38,470 --> 00:40:39,901 Well, how's it been going since then? 837 00:40:39,904 --> 00:40:42,203 LAURA: Well, I decided to take you up 838 00:40:42,206 --> 00:40:43,605 on your proposition. 839 00:40:43,608 --> 00:40:45,307 So when do you want to do it? 840 00:40:45,310 --> 00:40:47,442 - Um... - [SCHOOL BUZZER RINGING] 841 00:40:47,445 --> 00:40:49,244 Um, this is private, 842 00:40:49,247 --> 00:40:51,246 so, uh, would you mind, uh, going off 843 00:40:51,249 --> 00:40:54,216 and playing with each other. Uh, toss a ball around. 844 00:40:54,219 --> 00:40:57,119 Sorry if I interrupted something with your friends. 845 00:40:57,122 --> 00:40:59,587 They're not my friends exactly. 846 00:40:59,590 --> 00:41:01,790 So when do you want to snap me? 847 00:41:01,793 --> 00:41:04,993 Oh, any time it's convenient for you. 848 00:41:04,996 --> 00:41:07,195 I mean, you don't have to do this, you know? 849 00:41:07,198 --> 00:41:08,796 How about this afternoon? 850 00:41:08,799 --> 00:41:12,067 CHARLES: Today? Well, um, yeah. We could do it today. Uh... 851 00:41:12,070 --> 00:41:13,769 Here. 852 00:41:16,441 --> 00:41:17,873 Here's my phone number. 853 00:41:19,544 --> 00:41:21,143 And my address. 854 00:41:22,213 --> 00:41:24,046 - Tickle? - Yeah. 855 00:41:25,816 --> 00:41:27,682 Just in case something comes up. 856 00:41:27,685 --> 00:41:29,617 Oh, nothing'll come up. 857 00:41:29,620 --> 00:41:31,519 I just, uh, have to go home 858 00:41:31,522 --> 00:41:33,555 and get my equipment. 859 00:41:33,558 --> 00:41:36,157 - So I'm coming to your place? - If that's okay. 860 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:40,095 That's... fine. 861 00:41:40,098 --> 00:41:41,662 Nice car. 862 00:41:41,665 --> 00:41:43,098 Thanks. It's Jake's. 863 00:41:43,101 --> 00:41:44,465 It needs a wash. 864 00:41:44,468 --> 00:41:46,101 I'll see you in a bit. 865 00:41:51,409 --> 00:41:56,244 [TIM FARRISS' "ANY DAY BUT SUNDAY" PLAYING] 866 00:41:56,247 --> 00:42:00,315 ♪ Lights down low Any day but Sunday... ♪ 867 00:42:00,318 --> 00:42:01,750 I'm gonna have to have a doorknob 868 00:42:01,753 --> 00:42:03,585 installed on this thing. 869 00:42:03,588 --> 00:42:07,488 ♪ Any day but Sunday Smarty-pants, smarty-pants ♪ 870 00:42:07,491 --> 00:42:10,859 ♪ Any day but Sunday Smarty-pants, smarty-pants ♪ 871 00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:16,031 ♪ Any day but Sunday Smarty-pants, smarty-pants ♪ 872 00:42:19,070 --> 00:42:20,168 Oh... um... 873 00:42:20,171 --> 00:42:23,171 I'm, uh, I'm here to see Miss Victor. 874 00:42:25,376 --> 00:42:28,644 Hey, Laura, that pain in the ass kid's here. 875 00:42:30,648 --> 00:42:33,115 - Excuse me. - Yeah, I'm sorry. 876 00:42:35,253 --> 00:42:36,218 [STRUGGLING] 877 00:42:38,122 --> 00:42:40,322 Would... 878 00:42:45,062 --> 00:42:47,395 Hello... 879 00:42:47,398 --> 00:42:49,131 Here I am. 880 00:43:02,046 --> 00:43:05,614 I'm sure I look lovely, so fire when ready. 881 00:43:05,617 --> 00:43:09,885 Um, did... something happen? 882 00:43:12,256 --> 00:43:14,856 No. Just how I look 883 00:43:14,859 --> 00:43:17,125 when I'm sitting around the house. 884 00:43:20,432 --> 00:43:23,031 Did, uh... 885 00:43:23,034 --> 00:43:27,735 did, uh, did he do something to you? 886 00:43:27,738 --> 00:43:30,372 You could say that. 887 00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:36,110 I read this article about this South African tribe. 888 00:43:36,113 --> 00:43:41,116 They had something like 50 different words for a cow. 889 00:43:43,121 --> 00:43:44,518 It's interesting, don't you think? 890 00:43:44,521 --> 00:43:45,954 People have the most words 891 00:43:45,957 --> 00:43:48,023 to describe what they value the most. 892 00:43:49,394 --> 00:43:52,127 I, uh... should have probably read the article. 893 00:43:53,664 --> 00:43:56,365 How many words do you know to describe the female sex organ? 894 00:43:58,035 --> 00:44:02,036 Um... I really don't know what you're getting at. 895 00:44:02,039 --> 00:44:03,938 I'm sure you've seen a variety 896 00:44:03,941 --> 00:44:05,807 written on the bathroom walls at school. 897 00:44:05,810 --> 00:44:08,410 - I guess. - So with all those words... 898 00:44:08,413 --> 00:44:10,445 you'd think it's quite a valuable commodity, 899 00:44:10,448 --> 00:44:12,681 wouldn't you? 900 00:44:14,886 --> 00:44:17,285 I'm sorry. Is this making you uncomfortable? 901 00:44:17,288 --> 00:44:19,921 Oh, oh, no. Not at all. 902 00:44:19,924 --> 00:44:23,057 Um, I just can't help but feeling 903 00:44:23,060 --> 00:44:25,293 that we're being watched. 904 00:44:26,731 --> 00:44:29,364 When I returned Jake's car... 905 00:44:31,436 --> 00:44:33,769 he told me that he'd hired another band... 906 00:44:37,709 --> 00:44:41,009 so I tried to change his mind with my most valuable commodity. 907 00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:44,679 You, uh... you slept with him. 908 00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:48,049 God, if I'd slept with him, I'd still have a job. 909 00:44:48,052 --> 00:44:52,353 Jake said he had too much respect for me. 910 00:44:52,356 --> 00:44:54,722 Can you believe it? 911 00:44:54,725 --> 00:44:57,659 You just can't depend on anything anymore. 912 00:44:57,662 --> 00:45:00,695 Do you mind if we got out of here and shot some place else? 913 00:45:00,698 --> 00:45:02,430 Oh, no, no. 914 00:45:02,433 --> 00:45:04,700 That's what I-- I brought the extra helmet for. 915 00:45:08,373 --> 00:45:11,606 Do me a favor and throw a few of these things in this bag. 916 00:45:11,609 --> 00:45:13,308 Um, sure. 917 00:45:13,311 --> 00:45:14,976 This stuff. 918 00:45:18,683 --> 00:45:20,382 I'm gonna go clean myself up. 919 00:45:26,424 --> 00:45:28,290 I, uh, I didn't know you painted. 920 00:45:29,460 --> 00:45:31,626 I don't. 921 00:45:31,629 --> 00:45:33,427 They're my brother-in-law's. 922 00:45:33,430 --> 00:45:35,764 I'm just loft-sitting. 923 00:45:36,767 --> 00:45:38,400 Oh. 924 00:45:40,404 --> 00:45:42,170 [BOAT HORN BLOWING] 925 00:45:43,674 --> 00:45:45,039 [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] 926 00:45:45,042 --> 00:45:47,075 [RUPERT HOLMES' "NO SMALL AFFAIR" PLAYING] 927 00:45:58,656 --> 00:46:00,055 Bye-bye. 928 00:46:01,492 --> 00:46:04,425 ♪ Lead me to the light ♪ 929 00:46:04,428 --> 00:46:08,996 ♪ Don't distract me From the sun ♪ 930 00:46:08,999 --> 00:46:12,567 ♪ I don't need anyone ♪ 931 00:46:12,570 --> 00:46:14,336 ♪ To abuse me... ♪ 932 00:46:14,339 --> 00:46:18,206 Oh, uh, hi, Mona. 933 00:46:18,209 --> 00:46:20,942 Cute. She's got some nifty moves. 934 00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:24,045 No. 935 00:46:24,048 --> 00:46:26,381 What, you don't like girls? 936 00:46:26,384 --> 00:46:30,318 They're okay. They're just not real interesting. 937 00:46:30,321 --> 00:46:31,920 Not like me, huh? 938 00:46:33,557 --> 00:46:34,822 Pardon me. 939 00:46:34,825 --> 00:46:36,358 Would you do me a favor? 940 00:46:36,361 --> 00:46:39,660 Would you be kind enough to take our picture, please? 941 00:46:39,663 --> 00:46:41,929 All you have to do is press this thing right here. 942 00:46:41,932 --> 00:46:43,064 I-- I know how to... 943 00:46:43,067 --> 00:46:45,534 Go ahead. Go ahead. go on. 944 00:46:45,537 --> 00:46:47,335 Good. 945 00:46:47,338 --> 00:46:48,202 Okay. 946 00:46:48,205 --> 00:46:49,771 Uh, hold it just like that. Yeah. 947 00:46:49,774 --> 00:46:50,972 Cheese. 948 00:46:50,975 --> 00:46:53,074 Yeah, that's great. 949 00:46:53,077 --> 00:46:58,012 - Thank you. - No, no, hold it, hold it. 950 00:46:58,015 --> 00:46:59,247 No, wait, wait, wait. 951 00:46:59,250 --> 00:47:01,916 Hold it, hold it right there. 952 00:47:01,919 --> 00:47:03,518 Great, great. 953 00:47:03,521 --> 00:47:05,954 I just only have a couple of shots. 954 00:47:05,957 --> 00:47:08,723 Oh, yeah? No, you've got plenty. 955 00:47:08,726 --> 00:47:10,392 It says 36. 956 00:47:11,662 --> 00:47:13,060 Okay. 957 00:47:13,063 --> 00:47:15,363 ♪ Lead me to the light ♪ 958 00:47:15,366 --> 00:47:20,468 ♪ Don't let darkness To the day ♪ 959 00:47:20,471 --> 00:47:22,703 Oh, okay. 960 00:47:22,706 --> 00:47:24,171 Hi. 961 00:47:24,174 --> 00:47:26,174 Nice guy, don't you think? 962 00:47:26,177 --> 00:47:28,977 Wait a second. You know what? 963 00:47:28,980 --> 00:47:31,279 We gotta do something about your wardrobe. 964 00:47:31,282 --> 00:47:33,048 What's the matter? I think it's kinda zippy. 965 00:47:33,051 --> 00:47:35,249 No... You always look like it's about to rain. 966 00:47:35,252 --> 00:47:37,084 Come on. 967 00:47:37,087 --> 00:47:41,690 ♪ No small affair No wasted dream ♪ 968 00:47:41,693 --> 00:47:43,891 ♪ Nobody to count on ♪ 969 00:47:43,894 --> 00:47:46,361 ♪ Nobody to touch ♪ 970 00:47:46,364 --> 00:47:53,000 ♪ Nobody to know me And never give me no stalls ♪ 971 00:47:53,003 --> 00:47:56,037 ♪ Lead me to the light ♪ 972 00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:59,807 ♪ Don't distract me From the sun ♪ 973 00:47:59,810 --> 00:48:00,975 ♪ I don't need anyone... ♪♪ 974 00:48:00,978 --> 00:48:03,144 LAURA: Look at that. 975 00:48:03,147 --> 00:48:04,979 Unbelievable. Just "Diana." 976 00:48:04,982 --> 00:48:06,982 And she doesn't even have to use her last name. 977 00:48:06,985 --> 00:48:08,483 And nobody says "Diana who?" 978 00:48:08,486 --> 00:48:10,184 Do you think that'll ever happen to me? 979 00:48:10,187 --> 00:48:11,185 Sure. Absolutely. Why not? 980 00:48:11,188 --> 00:48:13,821 ♪ No empty love ♪ 981 00:48:13,824 --> 00:48:17,992 ♪ Don't ever talk about love Too much ♪ 982 00:48:17,995 --> 00:48:21,329 ♪ No small affair No wasted dream ♪ 983 00:48:21,332 --> 00:48:23,364 ♪ Nobody to count on Nobody to touch... ♪ 984 00:48:23,367 --> 00:48:26,768 Cummings, I'm starving. How much money do you have? 985 00:48:26,771 --> 00:48:28,036 Fifty cents. 986 00:48:28,039 --> 00:48:30,838 Fifty cents. Some feast we're gonna have. 987 00:48:30,841 --> 00:48:32,674 Wait, I've got an idea. 988 00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:38,079 Would you mind telling me what you're doing? 989 00:48:38,082 --> 00:48:41,182 Just trust me. 990 00:48:41,185 --> 00:48:43,751 Is this a day or what? 991 00:48:43,754 --> 00:48:45,287 [KLESMER MUSIC PLAYING] 992 00:48:56,500 --> 00:48:58,066 - Hello! - Hello. 993 00:48:58,069 --> 00:48:59,501 I know you! How are you? 994 00:48:59,504 --> 00:49:01,169 Are you with the groom? What's your name? 995 00:49:01,172 --> 00:49:02,336 Yes, of course. Where is he? 996 00:49:02,339 --> 00:49:05,073 What's your... There he is! 997 00:49:05,076 --> 00:49:06,974 We're gonna go say hello. It's so nice to see you. 998 00:49:06,977 --> 00:49:08,610 Godspeed to all you guys. 999 00:49:09,813 --> 00:49:11,979 I don't believe this. 1000 00:49:11,982 --> 00:49:14,549 What did I tell you, a piece of cake. 1001 00:49:26,063 --> 00:49:28,129 [MUSIC CONTINUES TO PLAY] 1002 00:49:46,049 --> 00:49:47,581 Eighty-six hundred... 1003 00:49:47,584 --> 00:49:48,683 [LAUGHS] 1004 00:49:48,686 --> 00:49:52,520 BOTH: Eight thousand, 642 dollars. 1005 00:49:52,523 --> 00:49:54,622 And I didn't just make that up either, you know? 1006 00:49:54,625 --> 00:49:59,226 I listed all my expenses, like airfare, rent, food... 1007 00:49:59,229 --> 00:50:01,028 Women, booze, drugs. 1008 00:50:01,031 --> 00:50:04,099 Why Milan? Why not New York? 1009 00:50:04,102 --> 00:50:05,567 I mean, isn't that where all the magazines 1010 00:50:05,570 --> 00:50:08,203 - and all that are? - Well... 1011 00:50:08,206 --> 00:50:10,704 Milan is where they'll give a new photographer a start. 1012 00:50:10,707 --> 00:50:14,408 I mean, once they get a name, then New York. 1013 00:50:14,411 --> 00:50:17,278 You seem to have things pretty planned out. 1014 00:50:18,549 --> 00:50:22,150 - What's wrong with that? - Nothing. Nothing at all. 1015 00:50:22,153 --> 00:50:24,551 Just... you tend to miss a lot. 1016 00:50:24,554 --> 00:50:26,087 I mean, you cover more ground 1017 00:50:26,090 --> 00:50:28,256 zigzagging around 1018 00:50:28,259 --> 00:50:31,392 than you do than going in a straight line. 1019 00:50:31,395 --> 00:50:35,463 Well, you must've had plans to get where you got. 1020 00:50:37,568 --> 00:50:42,937 Yes, I carefully manipulated my life 1021 00:50:42,940 --> 00:50:44,338 so I could become 1022 00:50:44,341 --> 00:50:46,140 an unknown, unemployed singer. 1023 00:50:46,143 --> 00:50:48,742 It's always been my dream. 1024 00:50:48,745 --> 00:50:51,479 No, but you see, you're gonna make it. I mean... 1025 00:50:51,482 --> 00:50:53,013 Can I get you something to drink? 1026 00:50:53,016 --> 00:50:54,249 Yes. 1027 00:50:54,252 --> 00:50:55,784 [KLESMER MUSIC PLAYS AGAIN] 1028 00:51:02,093 --> 00:51:03,691 [CROWD WHISTLING] 1029 00:51:16,273 --> 00:51:17,638 Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going? 1030 00:51:17,641 --> 00:51:19,073 To the dames du toilette. 1031 00:51:19,076 --> 00:51:20,641 Here. Do something. Be a good boy. 1032 00:51:20,644 --> 00:51:22,243 Tie your shoe or something. 1033 00:51:25,983 --> 00:51:27,614 EMCEE: Ladies and gentlemen, 1034 00:51:27,617 --> 00:51:29,984 let's now greet the bride and the bridegroom 1035 00:51:29,987 --> 00:51:32,653 as they dance their first dance together 1036 00:51:32,656 --> 00:51:33,654 as man... 1037 00:51:33,657 --> 00:51:34,856 and wife. 1038 00:51:34,859 --> 00:51:37,392 Nicky and Natasha. Let's go. 1039 00:51:41,232 --> 00:51:43,498 [CROWD SHOUTING AND CHEERING] 1040 00:51:45,069 --> 00:51:48,269 That's sweet. Oh. 1041 00:51:49,907 --> 00:51:51,372 [CROWD CHEERS] 1042 00:51:59,917 --> 00:52:02,283 Hey, what happened? 1043 00:52:02,286 --> 00:52:04,586 Your girlfriend leave you stranded? 1044 00:52:04,589 --> 00:52:06,554 Oh, oh, no, um-- 1045 00:52:06,557 --> 00:52:08,556 She's just powdering her nose. 1046 00:52:08,559 --> 00:52:10,692 Hmm. Hey, you getting everything you need? 1047 00:52:10,695 --> 00:52:14,161 - They treating you right? - Oh, it couldn't be nicer. 1048 00:52:14,164 --> 00:52:16,196 I can see you can really hold your liquor. 1049 00:52:16,199 --> 00:52:18,666 [LAUGHING] 1050 00:52:18,669 --> 00:52:21,402 You know the secret of a good drinking man. 1051 00:52:21,405 --> 00:52:23,237 The more you eat, the more you can drink. 1052 00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:25,373 - Am I right? - Yeah, that's my motto. 1053 00:52:25,376 --> 00:52:28,443 You got a good full belly, huh? 1054 00:52:28,446 --> 00:52:30,177 Oh, I'm stuffed, yeah. 1055 00:52:30,180 --> 00:52:33,380 I bet you are. Hmm. 1056 00:52:33,383 --> 00:52:35,416 Ah, let's just see here. 1057 00:52:36,554 --> 00:52:38,719 - You got your champagne. - Yeah, yeah. 1058 00:52:38,722 --> 00:52:41,089 A pitcher of margaritas. Forget your tomato juice. 1059 00:52:41,092 --> 00:52:43,491 - Uh-oh. - Dozen or so bellini, caviar, 1060 00:52:43,494 --> 00:52:45,059 - a few cheese puffs... - They were great. 1061 00:52:45,062 --> 00:52:48,129 Throw in some ramaki and your assorted nibbles, 1062 00:52:48,132 --> 00:52:50,631 I say it comes to an even 38 bucks. 1063 00:52:50,634 --> 00:52:51,933 How does that sound to you? 1064 00:52:53,804 --> 00:52:55,503 I beg your pardon? 1065 00:52:57,107 --> 00:52:59,540 Unless you want to throw in a few dollars for the tip, 1066 00:52:59,543 --> 00:53:02,342 but that's entirely up to you. 1067 00:53:02,345 --> 00:53:05,713 Wait, wait a minute. 1068 00:53:05,716 --> 00:53:07,281 Uh... Wait. 1069 00:53:07,284 --> 00:53:08,816 Wait a minute. This-- 1070 00:53:08,819 --> 00:53:10,618 This is a wedding, right? 1071 00:53:10,621 --> 00:53:15,490 Right. A wedding for which I am paying. 1072 00:53:15,493 --> 00:53:17,892 A wedding to which family and friends 1073 00:53:17,895 --> 00:53:19,193 were invited. 1074 00:53:19,196 --> 00:53:20,929 A wedding from which 1075 00:53:20,932 --> 00:53:23,631 you and your lovely other freeloader 1076 00:53:23,634 --> 00:53:25,366 are gonna be leaving with the cops 1077 00:53:25,369 --> 00:53:26,768 unless you come up with the money. 1078 00:53:26,771 --> 00:53:30,205 That's the kind of wedding this is. 1079 00:53:33,277 --> 00:53:34,275 Uh... 1080 00:53:34,278 --> 00:53:36,511 [COUGHS] 1081 00:53:37,748 --> 00:53:39,247 [LAUGHS] 1082 00:53:41,252 --> 00:53:43,184 You think we're freeloaders? 1083 00:53:43,187 --> 00:53:44,652 You're kidding. 1084 00:53:44,655 --> 00:53:47,655 You don't know who Laura Victor is? 1085 00:53:47,658 --> 00:53:50,525 Lead singer of the Bygones? 1086 00:53:51,729 --> 00:53:54,528 Possibly one of the biggest stars 1087 00:53:54,531 --> 00:53:56,831 this country has today. 1088 00:53:56,834 --> 00:53:58,566 It's the truth. 1089 00:53:58,569 --> 00:54:01,402 Uh... May I drop dead on the spot. 1090 00:54:01,405 --> 00:54:04,671 Kid, I think you're full of shit, 1091 00:54:04,674 --> 00:54:07,942 but if you're not, maybe we can work something out. 1092 00:54:10,780 --> 00:54:13,414 - [APPLAUSE] - I don't want to do this. 1093 00:54:14,552 --> 00:54:16,684 - I don't want this. - You got me into this, 1094 00:54:16,687 --> 00:54:18,486 you're gonna get me out of it. 1095 00:54:19,756 --> 00:54:21,489 Come on. 1096 00:54:27,831 --> 00:54:31,032 You are in for a real experience. 1097 00:54:33,771 --> 00:54:35,970 One of us is. 1098 00:54:35,973 --> 00:54:37,305 [LAUGHS] 1099 00:54:39,276 --> 00:54:41,208 Give her a note. 1100 00:54:41,211 --> 00:54:44,545 ♪ In this world Of ordinary... ♪ 1101 00:54:44,548 --> 00:54:47,815 Attention, ladies and gentlemen, a wonderful surprise. 1102 00:54:47,818 --> 00:54:51,285 Uh, we are privileged to have with us this evening... 1103 00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:53,320 the, uh, very talented 1104 00:54:53,323 --> 00:54:57,958 and very lovely Miss Laura Victor, 1105 00:54:57,961 --> 00:55:00,294 and she's going to favor us with a song 1106 00:55:00,297 --> 00:55:01,895 in honor of the newlyweds, 1107 00:55:01,898 --> 00:55:05,933 and at the request of the father of the bride. 1108 00:55:05,936 --> 00:55:07,568 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1109 00:55:15,412 --> 00:55:19,480 ♪ In this world ♪ 1110 00:55:22,653 --> 00:55:26,487 ♪ Of ordinary people ♪ 1111 00:55:32,095 --> 00:55:35,496 ♪ Extraordinary people ♪ 1112 00:55:42,439 --> 00:55:49,711 ♪ I'm glad there is you ♪ 1113 00:55:51,215 --> 00:55:54,916 ♪ And in this world ♪ 1114 00:55:56,920 --> 00:56:01,756 ♪ Of overrated pleasures ♪ 1115 00:56:03,194 --> 00:56:06,794 ♪ And underrated treasures ♪ 1116 00:56:08,732 --> 00:56:11,532 ♪ I'm glad there is you ♪ 1117 00:56:14,271 --> 00:56:18,305 ♪ I live for love ♪ 1118 00:56:18,308 --> 00:56:20,541 ♪ I love to live ♪ 1119 00:56:20,544 --> 00:56:25,646 ♪ With you beside me ♪ 1120 00:56:25,649 --> 00:56:28,783 ♪ This role so new ♪ 1121 00:56:30,687 --> 00:56:33,087 ♪ I'll muddle through With you ♪ 1122 00:56:33,090 --> 00:56:39,527 ♪ To guide me ♪ 1123 00:56:39,530 --> 00:56:42,629 ♪ And in this world ♪ 1124 00:56:42,632 --> 00:56:47,802 ♪ Where many, many Play at love ♪ 1125 00:56:47,805 --> 00:56:54,075 ♪ And hardly ever Stay in love ♪ 1126 00:56:55,712 --> 00:57:02,116 ♪ I'm glad there is you ♪ 1127 00:57:02,119 --> 00:57:08,089 ♪ More than ever ♪ 1128 00:57:08,092 --> 00:57:13,960 ♪ More than ever ♪ 1129 00:57:13,963 --> 00:57:20,334 ♪ More than ever I'm glad ♪ 1130 00:57:20,337 --> 00:57:25,907 ♪ There is you ♪♪ 1131 00:57:35,418 --> 00:57:36,884 [HOOTING] 1132 00:57:38,655 --> 00:57:40,821 Bottle of the French champagne for the lady 1133 00:57:40,824 --> 00:57:42,490 - with my compliments. - You bet. 1134 00:57:43,827 --> 00:57:46,260 CHARLES: When you were singing, I got goosebumps. 1135 00:57:46,263 --> 00:57:47,762 I mean that. 1136 00:57:47,765 --> 00:57:50,897 You were terrific, really. I mean it. 1137 00:57:50,900 --> 00:57:54,101 Well, not being my kind of music, I did okay. 1138 00:57:56,039 --> 00:57:57,338 If you ask me, 1139 00:57:57,341 --> 00:57:59,473 that's the way you ought to sing all the time. 1140 00:57:59,476 --> 00:58:01,142 Nobody's asking. 1141 00:58:01,145 --> 00:58:03,244 Well, I never heard you sound like that. 1142 00:58:03,247 --> 00:58:04,745 Good. 1143 00:58:04,748 --> 00:58:06,213 [TIRES SQUEAL] 1144 00:58:06,216 --> 00:58:08,215 Hi. I'm Charles Cummings. 1145 00:58:08,218 --> 00:58:11,052 Big fucking deal. 1146 00:58:20,464 --> 00:58:22,730 [REVS ENGINE] 1147 00:58:26,403 --> 00:58:28,135 [TIRES SQUEAL] 1148 00:58:28,138 --> 00:58:30,571 Big fucking deal. 1149 00:58:30,574 --> 00:58:32,273 Oh! 1150 00:58:32,276 --> 00:58:33,573 [LAURA SHRIEKS] 1151 00:58:33,576 --> 00:58:34,775 CHARLES: ♪ I'm glad there is... ♪ 1152 00:58:34,778 --> 00:58:36,176 Come, come on. 1153 00:58:36,179 --> 00:58:37,811 What are you doing? 1154 00:58:37,814 --> 00:58:40,081 I'm getting my key. 1155 00:58:40,084 --> 00:58:42,783 The key-- oh, the key to your heart? 1156 00:58:42,786 --> 00:58:44,818 No, the key's in my boot. 1157 00:58:44,821 --> 00:58:46,387 No, it's the key to your heart. 1158 00:58:46,390 --> 00:58:49,156 - Oh, there it is. - ♪ My pretty valentine ♪ 1159 00:58:49,159 --> 00:58:50,391 [KEY RATTLES ON GROUND] 1160 00:58:50,394 --> 00:58:53,360 Oh, okay. Oh, my God. My shoe. 1161 00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:54,929 Want me to hold you? 1162 00:58:54,932 --> 00:58:57,164 Okay. 1163 00:58:57,167 --> 00:58:59,233 Ready... and push. 1164 00:58:59,236 --> 00:59:00,835 [LAUGHING] 1165 00:59:06,043 --> 00:59:08,375 Will you pull my boot off for me, please? 1166 00:59:08,378 --> 00:59:11,178 I had a great time. 1167 00:59:15,452 --> 00:59:17,251 [GRUNTS] 1168 00:59:17,254 --> 00:59:21,655 You know, I didn't even think I'd like that kind of music... 1169 00:59:21,658 --> 00:59:23,057 [TAPE REWINDING] 1170 00:59:23,927 --> 00:59:26,360 But you were great. 1171 00:59:26,363 --> 00:59:27,828 [DIAL TONE] 1172 00:59:27,831 --> 00:59:30,231 It's old people's music. 1173 00:59:30,234 --> 00:59:31,899 And the only reason why you like it 1174 00:59:31,902 --> 00:59:33,868 is because you're weird. 1175 00:59:33,871 --> 00:59:35,602 [BEEPS] Hi, Laura, this is Melanie. 1176 00:59:35,605 --> 00:59:38,205 I just heard about this gig over at the Mark Hopkins. 1177 00:59:38,208 --> 00:59:41,041 They need a cocktail waitress to work the afternoon shift, 1178 00:59:41,044 --> 00:59:44,011 and call Mr. Gregg in the personnel office. 1179 00:59:44,014 --> 00:59:46,013 - That's nice. - Good luck. 1180 00:59:46,016 --> 00:59:48,015 It's better than nothing. 1181 00:59:48,018 --> 00:59:50,951 [BEEPS] Oh, I guess you're not home. 1182 00:59:50,954 --> 00:59:53,587 I tried you over at Jake's. 1183 00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:55,889 Uh, this is Scott, by the way. 1184 00:59:55,892 --> 00:59:57,324 I know who you are, you idiot. 1185 00:59:57,327 --> 00:59:59,293 Listen, Laura, I'm really sorry to hear 1186 00:59:59,296 --> 01:00:03,030 about you losing the gig, but I hope you're doing okay, 1187 01:00:03,033 --> 01:00:06,366 and I was just thinking about you. 1188 01:00:06,369 --> 01:00:09,070 So anyway, if you decide to get out of there, 1189 01:00:09,073 --> 01:00:11,171 I got a big spare side of the bed 1190 01:00:11,174 --> 01:00:14,441 and a window that gives you a great view of the smog. 1191 01:00:14,444 --> 01:00:16,510 I'll be up until about 11:00 if you want to call. 1192 01:00:16,513 --> 01:00:18,278 I've got an early session tomorrow. 1193 01:00:18,281 --> 01:00:20,781 They're putting this wave sound behind some... 1194 01:00:20,784 --> 01:00:22,083 Chevy Truck commercial. 1195 01:00:22,086 --> 01:00:23,117 [MESSAGE STOPS] 1196 01:00:43,006 --> 01:00:46,073 How can he go to bed at 11:00? 1197 01:01:06,430 --> 01:01:08,963 I don't think you want to drink that. 1198 01:01:13,803 --> 01:01:16,337 I don't need anybody telling me what to do. 1199 01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:19,707 I know what I want. 1200 01:01:19,710 --> 01:01:21,208 I just want to be the best. 1201 01:01:21,211 --> 01:01:22,376 [INHALING] 1202 01:01:23,747 --> 01:01:25,379 Laura the best... 1203 01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:34,221 The best cocktail waitress. 1204 01:01:34,224 --> 01:01:36,690 Laura, maybe, hey... 1205 01:01:36,693 --> 01:01:38,659 Hey, what? 1206 01:01:38,662 --> 01:01:41,428 "Hey, everything's gonna work out." 1207 01:01:41,431 --> 01:01:44,632 Well, maybe everything isn't gonna work out. 1208 01:01:44,635 --> 01:01:47,601 Maybe I'm a lousy singer and you're a lousy photographer. 1209 01:01:47,604 --> 01:01:49,136 Now, don't say that. 1210 01:01:49,139 --> 01:01:51,839 Why, do you know you've got what it takes? 1211 01:01:51,842 --> 01:01:55,409 I don't know if I've got what it takes. 1212 01:01:58,148 --> 01:02:01,281 You want to get to Milan, then you'd better go right now, 1213 01:02:01,284 --> 01:02:03,984 because it might not be there tomorrow. 1214 01:02:05,488 --> 01:02:07,388 And then what? 1215 01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:12,293 You've got no dream at all. 1216 01:02:17,834 --> 01:02:21,135 Just go. Go. 1217 01:02:27,343 --> 01:02:29,744 Please. 1218 01:02:41,524 --> 01:02:43,424 [CRYING] 1219 01:03:14,157 --> 01:03:18,726 ♪ Driving into town ♪ 1220 01:03:18,729 --> 01:03:22,229 ♪ So many roads to choose ♪ 1221 01:03:22,232 --> 01:03:25,599 ♪ Oh, roll the dice ♪ 1222 01:03:25,602 --> 01:03:29,302 ♪ I won't ever lose ♪ 1223 01:03:29,305 --> 01:03:33,140 ♪ And I'm living for the day ♪ 1224 01:03:33,143 --> 01:03:36,710 ♪ I'm going away ♪ 1225 01:03:36,713 --> 01:03:38,945 I can't do anything like what you're talking about 1226 01:03:38,948 --> 01:03:40,848 on such short notice. 1227 01:03:40,851 --> 01:03:42,816 Anyway, we don't do this kind of thing, 1228 01:03:42,819 --> 01:03:44,585 and if we did, you couldn't afford it. 1229 01:03:57,634 --> 01:04:00,100 Put your money away, kid. 1230 01:04:06,476 --> 01:04:08,542 [CHANGE RATTLING] 1231 01:04:13,850 --> 01:04:16,717 CHARLES: It was an important lesson I learned. 1232 01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:18,685 You may be disappointed by a person's humanity, 1233 01:04:18,688 --> 01:04:21,021 but you'll never be disappointed by their greed. 1234 01:04:21,024 --> 01:04:23,023 [CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING] 1235 01:04:23,026 --> 01:04:24,458 I felt like I had just bought 1236 01:04:24,461 --> 01:04:26,359 the biggest present in the world, 1237 01:04:26,362 --> 01:04:28,429 and I was holding my breath until she opened it. 1238 01:04:33,904 --> 01:04:35,502 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 1239 01:04:38,942 --> 01:04:40,441 [RINGS] 1240 01:04:43,914 --> 01:04:46,647 Hello? 1241 01:04:46,650 --> 01:04:48,916 This is her. 1242 01:04:50,553 --> 01:04:52,853 Do I what? 1243 01:04:52,856 --> 01:04:54,922 Who is this? 1244 01:04:56,493 --> 01:04:58,558 You're disgusting. 1245 01:04:58,561 --> 01:05:01,195 Oh. 1246 01:05:06,936 --> 01:05:08,402 [RINGS] 1247 01:05:10,573 --> 01:05:13,007 Listen, you disgusting-- 1248 01:05:16,213 --> 01:05:18,679 I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else. 1249 01:05:18,682 --> 01:05:20,446 What? 1250 01:05:20,449 --> 01:05:23,583 No, this is not an escort service. 1251 01:05:23,586 --> 01:05:26,420 Well, I'm sorry. You're sadly mistaken. 1252 01:05:27,657 --> 01:05:29,023 [SIGHS] 1253 01:05:31,294 --> 01:05:32,426 God. 1254 01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:46,173 [RINGS] 1255 01:05:47,411 --> 01:05:49,876 Hello? 1256 01:05:49,879 --> 01:05:51,845 I'm sorry. I don't understand you. 1257 01:05:51,848 --> 01:05:54,048 I don't speak that language. 1258 01:05:56,152 --> 01:05:58,252 I don't speak Arabic, no. 1259 01:05:58,255 --> 01:06:00,320 And I don't do that either. 1260 01:06:00,323 --> 01:06:02,423 Listen, how did you get my number? 1261 01:06:03,760 --> 01:06:05,325 Hello? 1262 01:06:05,328 --> 01:06:06,393 [SIGHS] 1263 01:06:11,734 --> 01:06:14,068 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 1264 01:06:14,071 --> 01:06:15,435 Yeah? 1265 01:06:15,438 --> 01:06:18,005 Terrific. Is that a fact? 1266 01:06:18,008 --> 01:06:19,440 Listen, I don't have the slightest idea 1267 01:06:19,443 --> 01:06:22,042 what you are even talking about. 1268 01:06:22,045 --> 01:06:24,278 I'm a cocktail waitress. 1269 01:06:24,281 --> 01:06:25,745 No, I will not talk dirty to you. 1270 01:06:25,748 --> 01:06:27,114 [SLAMS RECEIVER DOWN] 1271 01:06:31,921 --> 01:06:33,287 [KNOCKING ON WINDOW] 1272 01:06:38,561 --> 01:06:41,328 Hey, Laura, how you doing? Look. It's Laura. 1273 01:06:41,331 --> 01:06:42,763 - Hi, Laura! - How are ya? 1274 01:06:42,766 --> 01:06:44,197 Fine. how are you? 1275 01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:45,566 WOMAN: She looks great. 1276 01:06:49,773 --> 01:06:51,271 Oh, my God! 1277 01:06:53,944 --> 01:06:55,775 Oh, my God! 1278 01:06:55,778 --> 01:06:59,279 Oh, wait! Would you wait? 1279 01:07:14,497 --> 01:07:16,163 You. 1280 01:07:23,673 --> 01:07:25,605 - I wanna talk to you now. - I'm taking my mid-term. 1281 01:07:25,608 --> 01:07:27,774 If you want to live to take your final, 1282 01:07:27,777 --> 01:07:30,144 you'd better get up! 1283 01:07:31,581 --> 01:07:33,714 She had a bad day. 1284 01:07:35,918 --> 01:07:37,450 And too much coffee. 1285 01:07:37,453 --> 01:07:38,452 Ow. 1286 01:07:39,422 --> 01:07:41,388 I guess you're, uh, mad. 1287 01:07:41,391 --> 01:07:42,889 Half the population of San Francisco 1288 01:07:42,892 --> 01:07:45,091 and some foreign nations think I'm some kind of hooker. 1289 01:07:45,094 --> 01:07:46,460 - Oh. - Oh? 1290 01:07:46,463 --> 01:07:48,361 How could you put my picture, that picture, 1291 01:07:48,364 --> 01:07:50,230 and my name and my number on the back of a taxicab? 1292 01:07:50,233 --> 01:07:51,598 I didn't put it on the back of a taxicab. 1293 01:07:51,601 --> 01:07:53,333 I put it on the back of 150 taxicabs. 1294 01:07:53,336 --> 01:07:55,435 - Why?! - Well, I-- I thought... 1295 01:07:55,438 --> 01:07:57,070 I mean, how could you do that? 1296 01:07:57,073 --> 01:07:58,538 I thought that if maybe... 1297 01:07:58,541 --> 01:08:00,407 I mean, what an incredibly asinine thing to do. 1298 01:08:00,410 --> 01:08:02,709 My phone hasn't stopped ringing. Every pervert on the west coast 1299 01:08:02,712 --> 01:08:04,244 has my number. 1300 01:08:04,247 --> 01:08:05,679 Well, I thought it might get you some job offers. 1301 01:08:05,682 --> 01:08:07,380 Oh, it got me job offers, all right. 1302 01:08:07,383 --> 01:08:08,882 Some sheik wants me to have a scene 1303 01:08:08,885 --> 01:08:10,884 with he and his eight wives while he's in town. 1304 01:08:10,887 --> 01:08:12,552 Good thing he didn't bring his goddamn camel! 1305 01:08:12,555 --> 01:08:14,221 - Uh, Charles. - Would you kindly fuck off? 1306 01:08:14,224 --> 01:08:15,722 Laura, he's my French teacher. 1307 01:08:15,725 --> 01:08:18,358 Well, excuse me. Would you kindly fuck-ez vous? 1308 01:08:18,361 --> 01:08:19,560 Yes. 1309 01:08:19,563 --> 01:08:21,194 I guess I didn't think this out too well. 1310 01:08:21,197 --> 01:08:22,595 You're being too kind to yourself. 1311 01:08:22,598 --> 01:08:24,464 You've made me a laughing stock with this prank, 1312 01:08:24,467 --> 01:08:26,266 plus costing me my job. 1313 01:08:26,269 --> 01:08:28,668 Laura, I'm sorry. I really am... 1314 01:08:28,671 --> 01:08:30,403 but you were the one who told me 1315 01:08:30,406 --> 01:08:33,073 not to plan so much, to zigzag around. 1316 01:08:33,076 --> 01:08:34,941 I want you to get rid of those pictures. 1317 01:08:34,944 --> 01:08:36,275 I don't know if I can. 1318 01:08:36,278 --> 01:08:38,478 Why in the hell did you do this to me? 1319 01:08:38,481 --> 01:08:40,347 I mean, "Laura Victor. She's the best." 1320 01:08:40,350 --> 01:08:42,148 - What does that mean? - Nothing. 1321 01:08:42,151 --> 01:08:45,485 I just thought that one thing might lead to another. 1322 01:08:45,488 --> 01:08:47,154 I did it to help you. 1323 01:08:47,157 --> 01:08:48,721 Well, don't do things unless people ask you. 1324 01:08:48,724 --> 01:08:51,791 Do you understand? Just stay away from me! 1325 01:08:51,794 --> 01:08:54,695 You're a weird kid. 1326 01:09:04,507 --> 01:09:07,740 Come on. That is my face and my home number up there. 1327 01:09:07,743 --> 01:09:09,609 I mean, how would you like it 1328 01:09:09,612 --> 01:09:11,511 if you had your home number parading around town 1329 01:09:11,514 --> 01:09:13,313 on the back of 150 taxicabs? 1330 01:09:13,316 --> 01:09:15,248 A hundred and seventy-five. 1331 01:09:15,251 --> 01:09:17,317 I threw in an extra 25 because I like that kid. 1332 01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:18,819 Oh, terrific. 1333 01:09:18,822 --> 01:09:21,154 Look, I'll just sue. I'll sue your company. 1334 01:09:21,157 --> 01:09:22,722 Well, go ahead. Everybody sues me. 1335 01:09:22,725 --> 01:09:24,257 Well, then I'll just rip these goddamn things 1336 01:09:24,260 --> 01:09:25,726 off myself, if I have to. 1337 01:09:25,729 --> 01:09:27,427 Oh, you are real tough, aren't you, girly? 1338 01:09:27,430 --> 01:09:29,630 Don't call me girly. 1339 01:09:29,633 --> 01:09:31,865 You're a beautiful woman, but for the life of me, 1340 01:09:31,868 --> 01:09:34,167 I can't figure out what that kid sees in you, 1341 01:09:34,170 --> 01:09:35,636 laying out six grand so he can make you 1342 01:09:35,639 --> 01:09:37,838 into some kind of goddamn star or something. 1343 01:09:37,841 --> 01:09:40,107 What did you say? 1344 01:09:40,110 --> 01:09:41,808 What did you say? 1345 01:09:43,345 --> 01:09:46,213 Six-thousand dollars? 1346 01:09:46,216 --> 01:09:48,348 He paid you $6000? 1347 01:09:48,351 --> 01:09:50,083 - Yeah. - And you took it? 1348 01:09:50,086 --> 01:09:51,351 Yeah. 1349 01:09:56,225 --> 01:09:58,959 He gave up Milan. Oh, my God. 1350 01:09:58,962 --> 01:10:01,495 I'm such an idiot. 1351 01:10:03,132 --> 01:10:05,732 He gave up Milan for me. 1352 01:10:11,440 --> 01:10:13,340 Could you call me a cab? 1353 01:10:20,917 --> 01:10:22,482 Hey, how you doing? 1354 01:10:22,485 --> 01:10:25,018 Hi. Um, you're a friend of Charles Cummings, right? 1355 01:10:25,021 --> 01:10:27,554 We share a common interest in photography. 1356 01:10:27,557 --> 01:10:29,389 Uh, can I buy you a Coke? 1357 01:10:29,392 --> 01:10:30,756 No. No thank you. 1358 01:10:30,759 --> 01:10:32,358 Listen, if you happen to see him, 1359 01:10:32,361 --> 01:10:33,560 or if he comes in here, 1360 01:10:33,563 --> 01:10:34,894 would you please have him call me? 1361 01:10:34,897 --> 01:10:38,532 - He has your number? - Everyone has my number. 1362 01:10:38,535 --> 01:10:40,033 All right. Well, I'll have him give you a jingle. 1363 01:10:40,036 --> 01:10:41,335 Great, I really appreciate it. 1364 01:10:41,338 --> 01:10:42,802 - What's your name? - Laura. 1365 01:10:42,805 --> 01:10:43,970 All right, Laura. 1366 01:10:43,973 --> 01:10:45,605 Thank you so much. I really appreciate it, okay? 1367 01:10:45,608 --> 01:10:46,973 Okay, I'll see you around, Laura. 1368 01:10:46,976 --> 01:10:48,374 Yeah. 1369 01:10:48,377 --> 01:10:50,510 Whoo-hoo! It works. It works. 1370 01:10:50,513 --> 01:10:53,413 Did you see how she let me feel her left ya-ya, man? 1371 01:10:53,416 --> 01:10:55,581 You touched her shoulder. 1372 01:10:55,584 --> 01:10:57,417 It's all connected, isn't it? 1373 01:10:58,955 --> 01:11:02,422 Hello. Is there a Charles Cummings at this residence? 1374 01:11:02,425 --> 01:11:05,359 I'm sorry I disturbed you. Thank you. 1375 01:11:09,499 --> 01:11:12,098 [FIONA'S "LOVE MAKES YOU BLIND" PLAYING] 1376 01:11:12,101 --> 01:11:17,871 ♪ I see you hurting And it shows that bad 1377 01:11:17,874 --> 01:11:24,110 ♪ Seems like you'll always feel This way ♪ 1378 01:11:24,113 --> 01:11:30,517 ♪ It's not as easy to say You'll survive ♪ 1379 01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:35,988 ♪ No one's going Through your head ♪ 1380 01:11:35,991 --> 01:11:41,861 ♪ How could you walk away From so much love? ♪ 1381 01:11:41,864 --> 01:11:47,967 ♪ How could she fool you All this time? ♪ 1382 01:11:47,970 --> 01:11:52,572 ♪ Wide-open eyes Sometimes can't see it coming ♪ 1383 01:11:52,575 --> 01:11:56,042 ♪ I guess... ♪ 1384 01:11:56,045 --> 01:11:58,644 ♪ It's true ♪ 1385 01:11:58,647 --> 01:12:05,585 ♪ That love can make you Love can make you blind ♪ 1386 01:12:05,588 --> 01:12:09,556 ♪ Love makes you blind ♪ 1387 01:12:11,561 --> 01:12:16,696 ♪ Burns out The eyes of your heart ♪ 1388 01:12:16,699 --> 01:12:20,867 ♪ Yeah, love makes you blind ♪ 1389 01:12:23,473 --> 01:12:29,809 ♪ Burns out The eyes of your heart ♪ 1390 01:12:29,812 --> 01:12:33,346 Sometimes it seems like nothing ever works out, 1391 01:12:33,349 --> 01:12:35,715 and what's worse is sometimes things almost work out 1392 01:12:35,718 --> 01:12:38,084 and then fall apart. 1393 01:12:38,087 --> 01:12:42,322 If this is the way life is, how do people stand it? 1394 01:12:42,325 --> 01:12:46,659 ♪ How could you be so hurt And never know it? ♪ 1395 01:12:46,662 --> 01:12:49,162 ♪ I guess... ♪ 1396 01:12:49,165 --> 01:12:50,530 ♪ It's true.... ♪ 1397 01:12:52,468 --> 01:12:54,201 We're closing now. 1398 01:12:54,204 --> 01:12:59,372 ♪ That love can make you ♪ Love can make you blind ♪ 1399 01:12:59,375 --> 01:13:05,578 ♪ Love makes you blind ♪ 1400 01:13:05,581 --> 01:13:10,683 ♪ Burns out The eyes of your heart ♪ 1401 01:13:10,686 --> 01:13:14,754 ♪ Yeah, love makes you blind ♪ 1402 01:13:14,757 --> 01:13:20,694 ♪ She was the center Of your universe ♪ 1403 01:13:20,697 --> 01:13:26,600 ♪ She was the center Of your life ♪ 1404 01:13:26,603 --> 01:13:32,505 ♪ She was the answer To a lover's dream ♪ 1405 01:13:32,508 --> 01:13:35,775 ♪ Then maybe those words... ♪ 1406 01:13:35,778 --> 01:13:38,512 CHARLES: "Dear Laura... 1407 01:13:38,515 --> 01:13:40,714 "I imagine I'm the last person in the world 1408 01:13:40,717 --> 01:13:42,115 "you want to hear from right now, 1409 01:13:42,118 --> 01:13:44,050 "but I did want you to have these. 1410 01:13:44,053 --> 01:13:46,085 "I know I didn't make much of an impression on you 1411 01:13:46,088 --> 01:13:48,087 "when I said how sensational you were the other night, 1412 01:13:48,090 --> 01:13:50,190 "and how you should keep on singing the same way forever. 1413 01:13:50,193 --> 01:13:52,259 "I'm no expert when it comes to music, 1414 01:13:52,262 --> 01:13:53,760 "but I'm a photographer, 1415 01:13:53,763 --> 01:13:55,762 "and I know that pictures don't lie. 1416 01:13:55,765 --> 01:13:57,763 "I'm really very sorry for all the trouble I've caused. 1417 01:13:57,766 --> 01:13:59,765 "Sincerely, Cummings. 1418 01:13:59,768 --> 01:14:02,001 "P.S. I know you don't want to see me right now, 1419 01:14:02,004 --> 01:14:05,104 "but take my address. Humor me. 1420 01:14:05,107 --> 01:14:08,074 Consider it the last request of a condemned man." 1421 01:14:16,419 --> 01:14:17,751 [TELEPHONE RINGING] 1422 01:14:24,093 --> 01:14:25,525 Hello? 1423 01:14:28,230 --> 01:14:32,265 Yeah, sure. I can give you a phone job. 1424 01:14:32,268 --> 01:14:33,733 Can you hold on? 1425 01:14:33,736 --> 01:14:34,734 [BANGS PHONE AGAINST WALL] 1426 01:14:34,737 --> 01:14:38,104 - Laura! - Oh! 1427 01:14:38,107 --> 01:14:39,473 It's just me. 1428 01:14:43,145 --> 01:14:45,044 What is it, Jake? 1429 01:14:45,047 --> 01:14:47,480 I don't give second chances if that's why you're here. 1430 01:14:47,483 --> 01:14:49,282 Oh! No, no, no, no. 1431 01:14:49,285 --> 01:14:51,518 It's just that... 1432 01:14:51,521 --> 01:14:54,320 I've been thinking things over, and... 1433 01:14:54,323 --> 01:14:56,055 and, uh, I have to admit, 1434 01:14:56,058 --> 01:14:57,991 I made a big mistake when I fired you. 1435 01:14:57,994 --> 01:14:59,692 Matter of fact, right when I fired you, 1436 01:14:59,695 --> 01:15:01,795 I was saying to myself, "What are you doing? 1437 01:15:01,798 --> 01:15:04,697 She's a terrific singer. A real talent." 1438 01:15:04,700 --> 01:15:06,466 That's what I said, Laura. Honest to God. 1439 01:15:06,469 --> 01:15:08,735 Don't get God pissed at you too. 1440 01:15:10,606 --> 01:15:13,539 Okay. Can I level with you? 1441 01:15:13,542 --> 01:15:15,709 No. Continue lying. 1442 01:15:15,712 --> 01:15:17,043 Okay, okay. 1443 01:15:17,046 --> 01:15:18,844 Uh, the pictures on the back of the cabs. 1444 01:15:18,847 --> 01:15:20,779 - Not my idea. - Oh, I know. 1445 01:15:20,782 --> 01:15:22,415 I read the story here. 1446 01:15:22,418 --> 01:15:23,984 What story? 1447 01:15:23,987 --> 01:15:25,818 The story here. 1448 01:15:25,821 --> 01:15:27,520 There's a whole big thing in the paper, 1449 01:15:27,523 --> 01:15:29,055 with your picture and everything. 1450 01:15:29,058 --> 01:15:30,857 You see, uh, you and that kid are 1451 01:15:30,860 --> 01:15:33,259 a goddamn syndicated human-interest story. 1452 01:15:33,262 --> 01:15:35,829 See? And it says down there 1453 01:15:35,832 --> 01:15:38,398 that you sing in my club. 1454 01:15:38,401 --> 01:15:40,867 Shoddy reporting. 1455 01:15:40,870 --> 01:15:42,969 A whole lot of people have been calling up 1456 01:15:42,972 --> 01:15:44,971 for reservations just to hear you sing. 1457 01:15:44,974 --> 01:15:46,639 And you know how I hate to disappoint 1458 01:15:46,642 --> 01:15:49,242 - the paying public. - Yeah, I do. 1459 01:15:49,245 --> 01:15:52,579 Uh, I'm desperate, Laura. I've got a houseful of people. 1460 01:15:52,582 --> 01:15:55,081 Come on. I happen to know 1461 01:15:55,084 --> 01:15:57,217 there's an A and R guy from Atlantic Records 1462 01:15:57,220 --> 01:15:59,753 flying in from L.A. just to hear you, but... 1463 01:15:59,756 --> 01:16:01,554 Jake, what do you want me to do? 1464 01:16:01,557 --> 01:16:04,056 Get up there and sing a cappella? 1465 01:16:04,059 --> 01:16:07,226 - I lost the band, remember? - No, no. 1466 01:16:07,229 --> 01:16:09,162 The group that replaced you will play backup. 1467 01:16:09,165 --> 01:16:12,799 Yes, yes. Laura? 1468 01:16:12,802 --> 01:16:15,568 All right, I'm an asshole, okay. 1469 01:16:15,571 --> 01:16:18,204 Don't you be one too. 1470 01:16:18,207 --> 01:16:22,709 I mean, this could be a shot for you, a real shot. 1471 01:16:43,766 --> 01:16:45,298 [BOAT HORN BLOWS] 1472 01:16:48,738 --> 01:16:51,938 CHARLES: I couldn't get away from her. 1473 01:16:51,941 --> 01:16:53,773 I thought of throwing myself under the next taxi 1474 01:16:53,776 --> 01:16:55,875 as sort of a poetic gesture, 1475 01:16:55,878 --> 01:16:57,777 but I opted for a slightly less poetic 1476 01:16:57,780 --> 01:17:00,313 and definitely less permanent gesture. 1477 01:17:09,325 --> 01:17:11,123 - Did you get it? - Yeah. 1478 01:17:11,126 --> 01:17:13,193 You know, you're gonna catch pneumonia like that. 1479 01:17:13,196 --> 01:17:14,628 Yeah, I hope so. 1480 01:17:17,433 --> 01:17:18,797 Put this on. 1481 01:17:18,800 --> 01:17:20,667 - Give me the bottle. - No. Put it on. 1482 01:17:20,670 --> 01:17:23,302 I won't give you the booze until you do. 1483 01:17:23,305 --> 01:17:25,305 Okay, I'll put it on. 1484 01:17:33,316 --> 01:17:35,615 Okay? 1485 01:17:35,618 --> 01:17:38,350 Do you mind if I take a small sip to take off the chill? 1486 01:17:38,353 --> 01:17:40,353 Actually, I'd really rather you didn't. 1487 01:17:40,356 --> 01:17:42,656 After I gave you a raincoat? 1488 01:17:44,427 --> 01:17:46,426 Okay, take a sip. 1489 01:17:51,667 --> 01:17:55,068 That's enough. It's not that cold. 1490 01:17:56,105 --> 01:17:59,105 - Ahh. - There. I put some back. 1491 01:17:59,108 --> 01:18:00,340 Uh-huh. 1492 01:18:00,343 --> 01:18:03,309 - Just keep it. - Old age and treachery 1493 01:18:03,312 --> 01:18:05,278 will beat youth and enthusiasm every time. 1494 01:18:05,281 --> 01:18:07,681 A word from the wise. 1495 01:18:11,987 --> 01:18:14,821 Excuse me, I'd like, uh-- 1496 01:18:14,824 --> 01:18:16,289 You'd like what? 1497 01:18:16,292 --> 01:18:17,890 Um, I, um... 1498 01:18:17,893 --> 01:18:19,558 I'd like to have... have sex with you, 1499 01:18:19,561 --> 01:18:20,960 but I'd like to be sure 1500 01:18:20,963 --> 01:18:22,995 that you had some horrendous disease, 1501 01:18:22,998 --> 01:18:25,564 um, preferably one that could turn out to be fatal, 1502 01:18:25,567 --> 01:18:28,635 but not terribly painful. 1503 01:18:28,638 --> 01:18:31,204 How'd you like me to run a razor over your jugular vein? 1504 01:18:32,541 --> 01:18:34,006 How much would that be? 1505 01:18:34,009 --> 01:18:37,109 - WOMAN: Oh, for crying out loud! - [PEOPLE SHOUTING] 1506 01:18:37,112 --> 01:18:39,279 WOMAN: We've been standing out here an hour and a half! 1507 01:18:40,149 --> 01:18:42,949 Uh, Mia. Send a bottle 1508 01:18:42,952 --> 01:18:44,717 of our best champagne over to table number three. 1509 01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:46,185 Okay. 1510 01:18:46,188 --> 01:18:49,589 Yeah, uh, the best domestic champagne. 1511 01:18:49,592 --> 01:18:51,458 Uh... 1512 01:18:52,861 --> 01:18:54,260 He's drinking beer. 1513 01:18:54,263 --> 01:18:56,028 Let's just say it's on the house. 1514 01:18:56,031 --> 01:18:57,764 - You've got class, Jake. - Sure, I was born with it. 1515 01:18:57,767 --> 01:18:59,866 Waitress! Can we order? 1516 01:19:02,705 --> 01:19:03,970 Ladies and gentlemen... 1517 01:19:03,973 --> 01:19:05,604 Laura Victor. 1518 01:19:05,607 --> 01:19:07,307 [CHEERING] 1519 01:19:08,611 --> 01:19:10,143 [AUDIENCE WHISTLES AND APPLAUDS] 1520 01:19:19,088 --> 01:19:22,989 ♪ My funny valentine ♪ 1521 01:19:27,029 --> 01:19:32,899 ♪ Sweet comic valentine ♪ 1522 01:19:39,942 --> 01:19:44,811 ♪ You make me smile ♪ 1523 01:19:44,814 --> 01:19:49,549 ♪ With my heart ♪ 1524 01:19:52,521 --> 01:19:54,654 What the hell is this all of a sudden? 1525 01:19:54,657 --> 01:19:56,790 ♪ Your looks are laughable ♪ 1526 01:19:58,894 --> 01:20:04,230 ♪ Unphotographable ♪ 1527 01:20:04,233 --> 01:20:06,031 ♪ Yet you're my... ♪ 1528 01:20:06,034 --> 01:20:07,833 ♪ Favorite work of art ♪ 1529 01:20:07,836 --> 01:20:10,169 Real good. 1530 01:20:10,172 --> 01:20:12,571 ♪ Is your figure ♪ 1531 01:20:12,574 --> 01:20:15,642 ♪ Less than Greek? ♪ 1532 01:20:15,645 --> 01:20:22,348 ♪ Is your mouth a little weak? ♪ 1533 01:20:22,351 --> 01:20:27,086 ♪ When you open it to speak ♪ 1534 01:20:27,089 --> 01:20:30,723 ♪ Are you smart? ♪ 1535 01:20:30,726 --> 01:20:33,092 ♪ No ♪ 1536 01:20:33,095 --> 01:20:39,365 ♪ Don't change a hair for me ♪ 1537 01:20:40,802 --> 01:20:45,371 ♪ Not if you care for me ♪ 1538 01:20:46,275 --> 01:20:50,476 ♪ Stay, valentine ♪ 1539 01:20:50,479 --> 01:20:58,484 ♪ Stay, stay ♪ 1540 01:20:58,487 --> 01:21:01,187 ♪ Stay ♪ 1541 01:21:01,190 --> 01:21:06,593 ♪ Each day ♪ 1542 01:21:06,596 --> 01:21:14,400 ♪ Is Valentine's Day ♪♪ 1543 01:21:27,116 --> 01:21:28,647 [AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS] 1544 01:21:28,650 --> 01:21:29,983 Thank you. 1545 01:21:31,853 --> 01:21:33,286 Thank you. 1546 01:21:33,289 --> 01:21:36,355 If anyone of that description comes in there, 1547 01:21:36,358 --> 01:21:38,357 will you call me immediately? 1548 01:21:38,360 --> 01:21:41,628 - [SIRENS BLARING OUTSIDE] - Do you swear? 1549 01:21:41,631 --> 01:21:43,462 You're a Catholic Hospital, 1550 01:21:43,465 --> 01:21:46,632 so you'd better not be bullshitting me. 1551 01:21:46,635 --> 01:21:50,336 ♪ Other eyes ♪ 1552 01:21:52,775 --> 01:21:53,906 ♪ I guess I'm ♪ 1553 01:21:53,909 --> 01:21:57,043 ♪ Wondering why ♪ 1554 01:22:00,015 --> 01:22:02,015 ♪ Oh ♪ 1555 01:22:17,532 --> 01:22:19,465 Thank you. 1556 01:22:21,203 --> 01:22:24,637 You gonna tell me where that came from, huh? 1557 01:22:24,640 --> 01:22:27,139 I don't know. It just sort of slipped out. 1558 01:22:27,142 --> 01:22:29,074 Singing up a storm. Girl, you were sensational. 1559 01:22:29,077 --> 01:22:30,609 Jake, I'm really glad you're happy. 1560 01:22:30,612 --> 01:22:32,911 Yeah. Now there's somebody I want you to meet. 1561 01:22:32,914 --> 01:22:34,279 No, I gotta go. 1562 01:22:34,282 --> 01:22:35,981 Go? What, go? You got another set to do. 1563 01:22:35,984 --> 01:22:37,816 - I'll be back in a few minutes. - Laura, you can't do this. 1564 01:22:37,819 --> 01:22:40,086 Laura, you're not big yet. 1565 01:22:42,090 --> 01:22:44,056 Hi. Is Cummings here? 1566 01:22:44,059 --> 01:22:46,693 - Charles? No. - No? 1567 01:22:46,696 --> 01:22:48,427 Actually, I was kind of hoping he was doing something with you. 1568 01:22:48,430 --> 01:22:50,229 - No, he hasn't been with me. - Who is it, Leonard? 1569 01:22:50,232 --> 01:22:52,231 A friend of Charles. You have no idea where he is? 1570 01:22:52,234 --> 01:22:55,501 - No. - Oh, my God. 1571 01:22:55,504 --> 01:22:58,103 Isn't it enough that you advertise on taxis. 1572 01:22:58,106 --> 01:22:59,438 You go door to door too. 1573 01:22:59,441 --> 01:23:02,241 No, I'm just trying to find, uh, Charles. 1574 01:23:02,244 --> 01:23:04,509 How do you know my son? 1575 01:23:04,512 --> 01:23:06,979 Well, it's a long and involved story. 1576 01:23:06,982 --> 01:23:08,714 Will you just have him call me? 1577 01:23:08,717 --> 01:23:09,882 Yeah. He has your number? 1578 01:23:09,885 --> 01:23:12,851 Yeah. Oh! 1579 01:23:12,854 --> 01:23:14,520 I ripped out my phone. 1580 01:23:14,523 --> 01:23:16,488 Um, can I leave him a note? 1581 01:23:16,491 --> 01:23:18,724 - Yeah, go ahead. - Uh, I need paper. 1582 01:23:18,727 --> 01:23:20,126 I have paper. 1583 01:23:20,129 --> 01:23:21,660 - What's going on? - She ripped out her phone. 1584 01:23:21,663 --> 01:23:24,263 Well, I was getting obscene phone calls. 1585 01:23:25,134 --> 01:23:27,766 Oh, dear. What a shame. 1586 01:23:27,769 --> 01:23:30,903 Uh, would you mind? 1587 01:23:30,906 --> 01:23:33,539 You know, if you have a phone with a four-prong jack, 1588 01:23:33,542 --> 01:23:35,508 you could probably plug it right back in. 1589 01:23:35,511 --> 01:23:37,309 From Charles? 1590 01:23:37,312 --> 01:23:40,146 You were receiving obscene phone calls from Charles? 1591 01:23:40,149 --> 01:23:42,214 Mom, shh. She's trying to write a note. 1592 01:23:42,217 --> 01:23:43,649 Well, I don't wonder 1593 01:23:43,652 --> 01:23:45,484 that she receives obscene phone calls, 1594 01:23:45,487 --> 01:23:47,553 running around dressed like that, but I mean, 1595 01:23:47,556 --> 01:23:50,089 Charles would never talk dirty to anyone. 1596 01:23:50,092 --> 01:23:51,824 Of course not. 1597 01:23:51,827 --> 01:23:53,893 Could you please make sure that he gets this? 1598 01:23:53,896 --> 01:23:56,028 - Yes. - And it's, uh, confidential. 1599 01:23:56,031 --> 01:23:58,297 - Don't worry. - Okay. 1600 01:23:58,300 --> 01:24:02,200 Um, you know, I'm sure that Cummings-- 1601 01:24:02,203 --> 01:24:04,771 Charles-- he's gonna be back real soon. 1602 01:24:06,374 --> 01:24:07,906 Please make sure that he gets that. 1603 01:24:07,909 --> 01:24:09,842 - We will. - Thanks. 1604 01:24:09,845 --> 01:24:10,909 Good night. 1605 01:24:10,912 --> 01:24:12,412 Yeah. Bye. 1606 01:24:13,715 --> 01:24:15,214 She took my pen. 1607 01:24:15,217 --> 01:24:18,450 LEONARD: Jeez, I hope nothing happened to the little creep. 1608 01:24:18,453 --> 01:24:19,819 SUSAN: Did you bring the note? 1609 01:24:19,822 --> 01:24:21,153 - I hid it. - Where? 1610 01:24:21,156 --> 01:24:22,254 Oh, I'm not telling. 1611 01:24:22,257 --> 01:24:23,422 - Leonard. - No. 1612 01:24:23,425 --> 01:24:25,224 Just look for Charles. 1613 01:24:25,227 --> 01:24:27,427 You're no fun. 1614 01:24:27,430 --> 01:24:29,261 Hey, wait a minute. I think I see something. 1615 01:24:29,264 --> 01:24:31,597 - [BRAKES SCREECH] - Go back. 1616 01:24:33,636 --> 01:24:34,834 [TIRES SQUEALING] 1617 01:24:39,341 --> 01:24:41,174 Oh, God, I think it's him. 1618 01:24:41,177 --> 01:24:43,142 Yeah, I think you're right. 1619 01:24:44,212 --> 01:24:45,811 Charles... 1620 01:24:45,814 --> 01:24:47,480 Charles. Charles. 1621 01:24:48,450 --> 01:24:50,249 This boy is blotto. 1622 01:24:50,252 --> 01:24:52,985 - He looks strange, Leonard. - He always looks strange. 1623 01:24:52,988 --> 01:24:54,553 Come on, Charles. Come on. 1624 01:24:54,556 --> 01:24:56,255 - Get up. - [CHARLES STIRS] 1625 01:24:56,258 --> 01:24:58,825 What have you been drinking, huh, Charles? 1626 01:24:58,828 --> 01:25:02,227 - Shame on you. - [LAUGHING] 1627 01:25:02,230 --> 01:25:05,364 Don't laugh, Leonard. It's not funny. 1628 01:25:06,635 --> 01:25:09,502 Okay, up. Up... 1629 01:25:17,746 --> 01:25:19,945 Take him home in the jeep. I've got the scooter. 1630 01:25:19,948 --> 01:25:21,079 No, don't, Leonard. Leave it. 1631 01:25:21,082 --> 01:25:22,815 Aw, you're not a wife yet. 1632 01:25:22,818 --> 01:25:25,017 - Go. - All right. Just be careful. 1633 01:25:25,020 --> 01:25:26,586 Always am. 1634 01:25:36,465 --> 01:25:38,231 Leonard! 1635 01:25:41,036 --> 01:25:45,071 Susan, as you put this ring on Leonard's finger, 1636 01:25:45,074 --> 01:25:47,206 repeat after me. 1637 01:25:47,209 --> 01:25:50,742 I take you, Leonard, to be my lawfully wedded husband. 1638 01:25:50,745 --> 01:25:52,111 I take you, Leonard, 1639 01:25:52,114 --> 01:25:53,912 to be my lawfully wedded husband. 1640 01:25:53,915 --> 01:25:56,983 - PRIEST: To have and to hold... - SUSAN: To have and to hold. 1641 01:25:56,986 --> 01:25:59,952 CHARLES: He really did it. And I was glad. 1642 01:25:59,955 --> 01:26:02,120 I mean, Susan is a wonderful person. 1643 01:26:02,123 --> 01:26:04,457 Leonard is a wonderful person. 1644 01:26:04,460 --> 01:26:06,858 I am a miserable person. 1645 01:26:06,861 --> 01:26:09,862 I think this is referred to as wallowing in self-pity. 1646 01:26:09,865 --> 01:26:12,231 I'd forget about Laura, probably just after my death, 1647 01:26:12,234 --> 01:26:14,767 but I could never forget the fool I made of myself. 1648 01:26:14,770 --> 01:26:17,537 And not only was I a fool. I was penniless fool... 1649 01:26:17,540 --> 01:26:19,171 which is worse than being the guy 1650 01:26:19,174 --> 01:26:20,739 who collects shopping carts at the supermarket. 1651 01:26:20,742 --> 01:26:22,441 Can we have the ring, please? 1652 01:26:24,913 --> 01:26:27,580 The ring, please. 1653 01:26:27,583 --> 01:26:30,182 - Charles, give him the ring. - The ring? 1654 01:26:30,185 --> 01:26:31,917 The ring. It's in your pocket. 1655 01:26:31,920 --> 01:26:35,922 Oh, uh... 1656 01:26:35,925 --> 01:26:37,456 Uh... 1657 01:26:39,394 --> 01:26:41,727 PRIEST: Leonard, 1658 01:26:41,730 --> 01:26:43,863 as you give this ring to Susan, repeat after me. 1659 01:26:45,800 --> 01:26:48,267 I take you, Susan, to be my lawfully wedded wife. 1660 01:26:48,270 --> 01:26:51,536 LEONARD: I take you, Susan, to be my lawfully wedded wife. 1661 01:26:51,539 --> 01:26:54,106 PRIEST: To love and share my life from this day forward. 1662 01:26:54,109 --> 01:26:57,009 To love and share my life from this day forward. 1663 01:26:57,012 --> 01:26:59,378 PRIEST: I now pronounce you man and wife. 1664 01:26:59,381 --> 01:27:02,214 Whoo-hoo! She loves me! 1665 01:27:02,217 --> 01:27:04,316 This is so great! 1666 01:27:04,319 --> 01:27:05,951 I love you, Mom. 1667 01:27:05,954 --> 01:27:07,386 I love you too. 1668 01:27:07,389 --> 01:27:09,821 Love you too, Uncle Ken. 1669 01:27:09,824 --> 01:27:11,089 Where are you going? 1670 01:27:11,092 --> 01:27:12,591 [KNOCKING] 1671 01:27:12,594 --> 01:27:15,094 [BOW WOW WOW'S "SEXY EIFFEL TOWERS" PLAYING] 1672 01:27:15,097 --> 01:27:17,296 ♪ Hold me ♪ 1673 01:27:17,299 --> 01:27:18,697 ♪ Hold me ♪ 1674 01:27:18,700 --> 01:27:20,565 Hi. I just got your note... 1675 01:27:20,568 --> 01:27:21,900 Boy, am I glad to see you. 1676 01:27:21,903 --> 01:27:24,470 - Oh, my God! Ha. - Where've you been? 1677 01:27:24,473 --> 01:27:26,104 I mean, I didn't know what happened to you. 1678 01:27:26,107 --> 01:27:27,939 I phoned your apartment. I went by your apartment. 1679 01:27:27,942 --> 01:27:29,608 And I was for sure... 1680 01:27:29,611 --> 01:27:31,744 I didn't think I was ever going to see you again. 1681 01:27:31,747 --> 01:27:33,879 I didn't think you'd ever wanna see me again. 1682 01:27:33,882 --> 01:27:34,814 You look great. 1683 01:27:34,817 --> 01:27:37,583 Thanks. Um, these are for you. 1684 01:27:37,586 --> 01:27:39,351 - They're beautiful. - Thanks. 1685 01:27:39,354 --> 01:27:41,320 - I have something for you. - Oh. 1686 01:27:41,323 --> 01:27:43,655 I got a contract. 1687 01:27:43,658 --> 01:27:45,123 I'm gonna cut a demo on Atlantic Records. 1688 01:27:45,126 --> 01:27:46,559 - No! - Yes. 1689 01:27:46,562 --> 01:27:48,694 This is wonderful! 1690 01:27:52,000 --> 01:27:53,732 Five-hundred dollars. 1691 01:27:53,735 --> 01:27:55,801 But, but I thought you were broke. 1692 01:27:55,804 --> 01:27:58,371 It's an advance. And if it hadn't been for you, 1693 01:27:58,374 --> 01:28:00,473 I mean, I wouldn't even have had the chance, 1694 01:28:00,476 --> 01:28:01,940 and God knows I didn't deserve it. 1695 01:28:01,943 --> 01:28:04,443 - Oh, come on. You're terrific. - No, I'm not. 1696 01:28:04,446 --> 01:28:07,513 You're terrific. 1697 01:28:07,516 --> 01:28:10,282 There's something that I need to say. 1698 01:28:10,285 --> 01:28:12,585 What? 1699 01:28:13,755 --> 01:28:15,454 Well... 1700 01:28:23,865 --> 01:28:26,899 When I grow up, I want to be like you. 1701 01:28:42,117 --> 01:28:44,983 I don't know what I'm gonna do without you. 1702 01:28:44,986 --> 01:28:47,553 I'm not going anywhere. 1703 01:28:48,657 --> 01:28:51,490 I'm going to L.A. tomorrow. 1704 01:28:52,661 --> 01:28:55,327 - L.A.? - Well, the A and R guy said 1705 01:28:55,330 --> 01:28:56,829 that if I'm serious about my music, 1706 01:28:56,832 --> 01:28:59,064 then that's where I should be. 1707 01:28:59,067 --> 01:29:00,466 Well, what about us? 1708 01:29:03,305 --> 01:29:05,471 That won't change. 1709 01:29:07,375 --> 01:29:10,042 We're friends, and we'll always be friends. 1710 01:29:10,045 --> 01:29:13,379 And it doesn't matter where I am or where you are. 1711 01:29:17,919 --> 01:29:21,654 Cummings, you're my best friend. 1712 01:29:25,226 --> 01:29:28,160 Well, that's great. 1713 01:29:28,163 --> 01:29:30,796 That's, that's just... that's just great. 1714 01:29:30,799 --> 01:29:34,966 Huh, that's, that's wonderful, yeah. 1715 01:29:34,969 --> 01:29:36,034 Uh... hah. 1716 01:29:36,037 --> 01:29:37,603 I guess things are turning out 1717 01:29:37,606 --> 01:29:40,506 exactly the way I planned. Huh. 1718 01:29:43,278 --> 01:29:44,510 Great. 1719 01:29:48,416 --> 01:29:49,949 Cummings, don't do that. 1720 01:29:49,952 --> 01:29:52,317 I'm just having one for the road. 1721 01:29:52,320 --> 01:29:55,054 You're gonna get sick. 1722 01:29:56,758 --> 01:30:00,760 [GAGS] I am sick. 1723 01:30:01,763 --> 01:30:03,261 Um, did you know that because of you, 1724 01:30:03,264 --> 01:30:04,797 I almost caught a disease 1725 01:30:04,800 --> 01:30:06,865 that I don't even think they have a name for yet? 1726 01:30:06,868 --> 01:30:08,834 Uh, not to mention wandering around 1727 01:30:08,837 --> 01:30:11,936 in the middle of the night, in the rain, in a garbage bag. 1728 01:30:11,939 --> 01:30:13,972 You know what you hear about leak-proof garbage bags? 1729 01:30:13,975 --> 01:30:15,841 Well, it's all lies. They leak plenty. 1730 01:30:15,844 --> 01:30:18,844 But I won't bore you with that. I should have known better 1731 01:30:18,847 --> 01:30:21,680 than to get involved with human beings. 1732 01:30:23,651 --> 01:30:25,184 Ansel Adams was right. 1733 01:30:25,187 --> 01:30:26,418 Rocks and trees. 1734 01:30:26,421 --> 01:30:29,788 Give me a telephone pole any time. 1735 01:30:29,791 --> 01:30:32,391 Things don't play with your emotions. 1736 01:30:32,394 --> 01:30:37,062 Machines and buildings, and cracks in the sidewalk, 1737 01:30:37,065 --> 01:30:37,863 they don't lead you on. 1738 01:30:37,866 --> 01:30:39,865 How do I get out of here? 1739 01:30:39,868 --> 01:30:42,334 - I must have missed something. - No! 1740 01:30:42,337 --> 01:30:45,337 I must have missed something. 1741 01:30:45,340 --> 01:30:47,338 Wait, um, here-- 1742 01:30:47,341 --> 01:30:50,075 "Cummings... please forgive me for being such an ass. 1743 01:30:50,078 --> 01:30:52,010 "Wonderful things are happening because of you. 1744 01:30:52,013 --> 01:30:54,446 "I can't wait to see you. I love you." 1745 01:30:54,449 --> 01:30:56,748 Laura, you wrote that, didn't you? 1746 01:30:56,751 --> 01:30:59,251 - Yes, I did. - You said you loved me. 1747 01:30:59,254 --> 01:31:01,286 I do love you. 1748 01:31:01,289 --> 01:31:03,088 Then how can you leave? 1749 01:31:03,091 --> 01:31:05,524 Because I'm, uh... 1750 01:31:07,862 --> 01:31:09,161 Cummings, isn't this-- 1751 01:31:09,164 --> 01:31:10,762 I thought this was what you wanted. 1752 01:31:10,765 --> 01:31:13,064 Oh, yeah, it's exactly what I wanted-- 1753 01:31:13,067 --> 01:31:14,933 to spend my life savings on a woman 1754 01:31:14,936 --> 01:31:17,903 and have her run off to Tinseltown to become a star. 1755 01:31:19,240 --> 01:31:21,040 Oh, forget it. 1756 01:31:24,479 --> 01:31:26,645 And you can take your scarf back. 1757 01:31:27,749 --> 01:31:29,381 And it may interest you to know 1758 01:31:29,384 --> 01:31:31,450 that I got a D-minus in French. 1759 01:31:31,453 --> 01:31:33,118 I hope you're satisfied. 1760 01:31:34,655 --> 01:31:36,088 [JIGGLING LOCK] 1761 01:31:36,091 --> 01:31:39,124 I am beginning to get a very clear vision 1762 01:31:39,127 --> 01:31:41,660 of how things are. 1763 01:31:41,663 --> 01:31:44,129 I have just been fooling myself. 1764 01:31:44,132 --> 01:31:47,199 Shit! Ow! 1765 01:31:50,138 --> 01:31:52,237 [CRYING] 1766 01:31:52,240 --> 01:31:54,807 Oh, finally, something around here works. 1767 01:31:58,013 --> 01:32:00,679 [CRYING] 1768 01:32:00,682 --> 01:32:03,916 Oh, terrific. You're gonna start that business. 1769 01:32:07,555 --> 01:32:10,022 Come on. Okay, that's enough. 1770 01:32:13,427 --> 01:32:15,293 Will you stop crying? 1771 01:32:15,296 --> 01:32:17,096 [CONTINUES TO CRY] 1772 01:32:21,737 --> 01:32:23,702 Will you please stop crying? 1773 01:32:25,573 --> 01:32:28,807 What... Why are you crying? 1774 01:32:34,682 --> 01:32:36,582 Look, I... 1775 01:32:39,053 --> 01:32:40,553 [SIGHS] 1776 01:32:47,295 --> 01:32:50,562 Look, I know you... you gotta go. 1777 01:32:50,565 --> 01:32:53,131 And I want you to go, you know. 1778 01:32:53,134 --> 01:32:57,402 Well, I don't want you to go, but I want you to go. 1779 01:32:57,405 --> 01:32:58,871 You know what I mean. 1780 01:33:01,376 --> 01:33:02,708 Yeah. 1781 01:33:07,749 --> 01:33:11,951 I guess I'd better go and let you pack. 1782 01:33:13,020 --> 01:33:15,287 But, uh, before I go, could... 1783 01:33:17,826 --> 01:33:19,825 Um, could I kiss you goodbye? 1784 01:33:31,239 --> 01:33:32,638 Mm. 1785 01:33:34,909 --> 01:33:38,944 Um, I never kissed anybody like that before. 1786 01:33:38,947 --> 01:33:41,180 I was pretty good, wasn't I? 1787 01:33:44,152 --> 01:33:45,718 Not bad. 1788 01:35:26,054 --> 01:35:28,387 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 1789 01:35:33,328 --> 01:35:34,593 Hello? 1790 01:35:34,596 --> 01:35:36,795 CHARLES: Uncle Ken, can I speak to my Mom? 1791 01:35:36,798 --> 01:35:38,897 Yeah, uh, hold on. 1792 01:35:38,900 --> 01:35:40,399 It's Charles. 1793 01:35:42,804 --> 01:35:43,902 Charles? 1794 01:35:43,905 --> 01:35:45,670 I'm just calling to tell you 1795 01:35:45,673 --> 01:35:46,938 I won't be home tonight. 1796 01:35:46,941 --> 01:35:51,610 You're not coming home tonight? 1797 01:35:51,613 --> 01:35:53,412 Just wish him a good night, Joan. 1798 01:35:55,616 --> 01:35:59,785 Charles, have a good night. 1799 01:36:03,991 --> 01:36:06,525 Way to go, Charles. 1800 01:36:08,696 --> 01:36:11,262 You know, I'm pretty sure all my life 1801 01:36:11,265 --> 01:36:14,299 I always dreamed in black and white. 1802 01:36:14,302 --> 01:36:16,869 Last night, I dreamed in color. 1803 01:36:17,839 --> 01:36:19,304 I think it's a compliment. 1804 01:36:26,348 --> 01:36:29,281 We timed it perfectly. 1805 01:36:29,284 --> 01:36:33,185 Yeah. I hate long goodbyes. 1806 01:36:34,222 --> 01:36:36,054 At least, I think I'd hate 'em. 1807 01:36:36,057 --> 01:36:38,090 I've never really had one before. 1808 01:36:39,627 --> 01:36:40,992 [SIGHS] 1809 01:36:40,995 --> 01:36:43,027 - Cummings... - No, I-- 1810 01:36:43,030 --> 01:36:45,697 I shouldn't be feeling like this. 1811 01:36:45,700 --> 01:36:47,499 I should be happy for you. 1812 01:36:47,502 --> 01:36:50,669 But I'm a little too depressed to be happy for you. 1813 01:36:50,672 --> 01:36:53,238 ATTENDANT: Final boarding 1814 01:36:53,241 --> 01:36:56,741 for United Flight 91 to Los Angeles. 1815 01:36:56,744 --> 01:36:58,443 Don't forget me, okay? 1816 01:36:58,446 --> 01:37:01,412 Hey, are you kidding? 1817 01:37:01,415 --> 01:37:04,917 When I'm 90, I'll lie in bed and just think about you. 1818 01:37:07,622 --> 01:37:08,954 I love you. 1819 01:37:21,603 --> 01:37:23,868 I wasn't going to say that, you know? 1820 01:37:23,871 --> 01:37:26,171 I wasn't gonna get corny. 1821 01:37:26,174 --> 01:37:28,874 Hey, any girl loves to hear it. 1822 01:37:30,945 --> 01:37:33,412 I hope you say it a lot in your lifetime. 1823 01:37:34,883 --> 01:37:37,349 I know you're gonna hear it a lot. 1824 01:37:41,489 --> 01:37:43,055 I've gotta go. 1825 01:37:54,736 --> 01:37:56,635 - Well, thank... - Thank you. 1826 01:38:28,569 --> 01:38:33,237 CHARLES: I could smell her perfume and her body on my clothes, 1827 01:38:33,240 --> 01:38:36,641 and I felt sadder than I'd ever felt in my life. 1828 01:38:36,644 --> 01:38:39,911 I knew she'd have other men in her life, but I didn't care. 1829 01:38:39,914 --> 01:38:42,681 I didn't care if she was 90 and toothless. 1830 01:38:42,684 --> 01:38:44,549 I would still love her. 1831 01:38:44,552 --> 01:38:46,751 I wanted to fix every detail of last night 1832 01:38:46,754 --> 01:38:48,186 and today in my mind 1833 01:38:48,189 --> 01:38:50,923 to make the memory a photograph. 1834 01:38:53,961 --> 01:38:58,530 I would never love anybody but Laura. Never. 1835 01:38:58,533 --> 01:39:01,099 I would never make love to anyone again. 1836 01:39:03,905 --> 01:39:08,106 That's... almost... definite. 1837 01:39:09,444 --> 01:39:11,977 [MALCOLM McLAREN'S "EIFFEL TOWERS" PLAYING] 1838 01:39:11,980 --> 01:39:13,478 ♪ I feel sexy ♪ 1839 01:39:14,716 --> 01:39:16,648 ♪ Sexy Eiffel Towers ♪ 1840 01:39:16,651 --> 01:39:18,650 ♪ You make me feel... ♪ 1841 01:39:18,653 --> 01:39:20,852 {\an8}♪ Hour after hour ♪ 1842 01:39:20,855 --> 01:39:22,854 ♪ I feel sexy ♪ 1843 01:39:22,857 --> 01:39:24,789 ♪ Sexy Eiffel Towers ♪ 1844 01:39:24,792 --> 01:39:26,991 ♪ You make me feel... ♪ 1845 01:39:26,994 --> 01:39:28,793 ♪ Hour after hour ♪ 1846 01:39:28,796 --> 01:39:31,163 ♪ Well, on the way to here To be saved ♪ 1847 01:39:31,166 --> 01:39:33,398 ♪ I saw someone rave ♪ 1848 01:39:33,401 --> 01:39:35,299 ♪ But I feel my legs grow weak ♪ 1849 01:39:35,302 --> 01:39:37,869 ♪ And as my voice Starts to speak ♪ 1850 01:39:37,872 --> 01:39:39,871 ♪ I love your Eiffel Tower ♪ 1851 01:39:39,874 --> 01:39:41,940 ♪ You got something I admire ♪ 1852 01:39:41,943 --> 01:39:43,675 ♪ I love your Eiffel Tower ♪ 1853 01:39:43,678 --> 01:39:45,977 ♪ Four good legs Around your spire ♪ 1854 01:39:45,980 --> 01:39:48,079 ♪ I feel sexy up so high ♪ 1855 01:39:48,082 --> 01:39:50,148 ♪ Feel my treasure chest ♪ 1856 01:39:50,151 --> 01:39:52,217 ♪ Let's make love before I die ♪ 1857 01:39:52,220 --> 01:39:54,286 ♪ Who will be My special guest ♪ 1858 01:39:54,289 --> 01:39:56,354 ♪ I feel sexy ♪ 1859 01:39:56,357 --> 01:39:58,289 ♪ Sexy Eiffel Towers ♪ 1860 01:39:58,292 --> 01:40:00,725 ♪ You make me feel... ♪ 1861 01:40:00,728 --> 01:40:02,594 ♪ Hour after hour ♪ 1862 01:40:02,597 --> 01:40:04,563 ♪ I love you, Eiffel Tower ♪ 1863 01:40:04,566 --> 01:40:07,199 ♪ You got something That I admire ♪ 1864 01:40:07,202 --> 01:40:09,100 ♪ I love you, Eiffel Tower ♪ 1865 01:40:09,103 --> 01:40:11,169 ♪ Four good legs Around your spire ♪ 1866 01:40:11,172 --> 01:40:13,271 ♪ Hold me Let your body hold me ♪ 1867 01:40:13,274 --> 01:40:17,442 ♪ All night The one and only ♪ 1868 01:40:19,614 --> 01:40:21,446 ♪ I feel sexy ♪ 1869 01:40:21,449 --> 01:40:23,781 ♪ Sexy Eiffel Towers ♪ 1870 01:40:23,784 --> 01:40:25,783 ♪ You make me feel... ♪ 1871 01:40:25,786 --> 01:40:27,919 ♪ Hour after hour ♪ 1872 01:40:27,922 --> 01:40:29,654 ♪ I love you, Eiffel Tower ♪ 1873 01:40:29,657 --> 01:40:32,324 ♪ You got something That I admire ♪ 1874 01:40:32,327 --> 01:40:34,192 ♪ I love you, Eiffel Tower ♪ 1875 01:40:34,195 --> 01:40:36,261 ♪ Four good legs Around your spire ♪ 1876 01:40:36,264 --> 01:40:38,563 ♪ Hold me Let your body hold me ♪ 1877 01:40:38,566 --> 01:40:41,099 ♪ All night The one and only ♪ 1878 01:40:44,706 --> 01:40:46,872 ♪ I feel sexy ♪ 1879 01:40:46,875 --> 01:40:48,506 ♪ Sexy Eiffel Towers ♪ 1880 01:40:48,509 --> 01:40:50,942 ♪ You make me feel ♪ 1881 01:40:50,945 --> 01:40:52,877 ♪ Hour after hour ♪ 1882 01:40:52,880 --> 01:40:55,414 ♪ I feel sexy ♪ 1883 01:41:01,288 --> 01:41:03,554 ♪ I've been looking here For far too long ♪ 1884 01:41:03,557 --> 01:41:05,457 ♪ I look around For something strong ♪ 1885 01:41:05,460 --> 01:41:07,658 ♪ My heart beats on And on, on, on ♪ 1886 01:41:07,661 --> 01:41:09,661 ♪ I make big dollars I sing this song ♪ 1887 01:41:09,664 --> 01:41:13,765 ♪ And suddenly I can't think clear ♪ 1888 01:41:13,768 --> 01:41:15,967 ♪ And as I look The ground grows near ♪ 1889 01:41:15,970 --> 01:41:17,635 ♪ As it does, I feel I fear ♪ 1890 01:41:17,638 --> 01:41:19,470 ♪ Oh, baby doll I feel the fear ♪ 1891 01:41:19,473 --> 01:41:20,938 ♪ I feel the fear ♪ 1892 01:41:20,941 --> 01:41:22,774 ♪ Hold me, hold me ♪ 1893 01:41:26,314 --> 01:41:28,380 ♪ I feel sexy ♪ 1894 01:41:28,383 --> 01:41:30,381 ♪ Sexy Eiffel Towers ♪ 1895 01:41:30,384 --> 01:41:32,450 ♪ You make me feel... ♪ 1896 01:41:32,453 --> 01:41:34,518 ♪ Hour after hour ♪ 1897 01:41:34,521 --> 01:41:36,654 ♪ I feel sexy up so high ♪ 1898 01:41:36,657 --> 01:41:38,924 ♪ Feel my treasure chest ♪ 1899 01:41:38,927 --> 01:41:40,758 ♪ Let's make love before I die ♪ 1900 01:41:40,761 --> 01:41:43,028 ♪ Who will be My special guest? ♪ 1901 01:41:43,031 --> 01:41:45,096 ♪ I feel sexy ♪ 1902 01:41:45,099 --> 01:41:47,031 ♪ Sexy Eiffel Tower ♪ 1903 01:41:47,034 --> 01:41:49,167 ♪ You make me feel ♪ 1904 01:41:49,170 --> 01:41:51,269 ♪ Hour after hour ♪ 1905 01:41:51,272 --> 01:41:53,304 ♪ I feel sexy up so high ♪ 1906 01:41:53,307 --> 01:41:55,507 ♪ Feel my treasure chest Break the door ♪ 1907 01:41:55,510 --> 01:41:57,475 ♪ Let's make love before I die ♪ 1908 01:41:57,478 --> 01:41:59,811 ♪ Who will be My special guest? ♪ 1909 01:41:59,814 --> 01:42:01,847 ♪ I feel sexy ♪ 1910 01:42:01,850 --> 01:42:03,848 ♪ Sexy Eiffel Towers ♪ 1911 01:42:03,851 --> 01:42:06,017 ♪ You make me feel ♪ 1912 01:42:06,020 --> 01:42:09,854 ♪ Hour after hour ♪♪ 1913 01:42:09,857 --> 01:42:11,723 [CHARLES LAUGHING]138223