Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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00:00:01,985 --> 00:00:03,060
(start-up chime sounds)
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00:00:03,062 --> 00:00:05,579
(man humming)
3
00:00:05,581 --> 00:00:06,913
(groans)
4
00:00:06,915 --> 00:00:08,582
(grunting)
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00:00:08,584 --> 00:00:09,750
(mouse clicks)
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00:00:09,752 --> 00:00:11,918
Hmm. Hmm.
7
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:12,827
Hmm!
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00:00:12,829 --> 00:00:16,498
♪
9
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:17,591
Hey, guys.
10
00:00:17,593 --> 00:00:20,077
It's your favorite
YouTube family vloggers:
11
00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:21,336
the Simpsons.
12
00:00:21,338 --> 00:00:23,096
Coinstar bought us a new house,
13
00:00:23,098 --> 00:00:26,358
and we're gonna give you
the grand tour.
14
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,086
Come on in.
Take your shoes off first.
15
00:00:29,088 --> 00:00:32,364
All 50 million of you. (laughs)
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00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,533
♪
17
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,761
Now, we can't tell you
where the new house is located
18
00:00:37,763 --> 00:00:40,430
because we value our privacy.
19
00:00:40,432 --> 00:00:43,525
Which you know if you watched
our last family therapy sesh
20
00:00:43,527 --> 00:00:46,879
where Marge begged me to stop
filming our therapy seshes.
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00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,696
Video link in bio.
22
00:00:48,698 --> 00:00:50,457
This is my favorite room
23
00:00:50,459 --> 00:00:53,886
because the kitchen is really
the heart of a home.
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00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:56,463
Also, because a robot cleans it.
25
00:00:56,465 --> 00:00:57,614
And check it out.
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00:00:57,616 --> 00:01:01,451
The refrigerator
blends into the wall.
27
00:01:01,453 --> 00:01:05,230
No more tedious seeing your
refrigerator all the time.
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00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:08,567
Come on, we want to show you
our favorite room.
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00:01:10,963 --> 00:01:12,237
(grunting)
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00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:14,631
This is our screening room.
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00:01:14,633 --> 00:01:17,392
It's also where
we shoot our confessionals.
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00:01:17,394 --> 00:01:21,229
It's cool that Dad doesn't have
to work nine to five anymore.
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00:01:21,231 --> 00:01:23,824
We just have to post
15 videos a day.
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00:01:23,826 --> 00:01:26,585
After homeschooling,
we're free to do fun kid stuff.
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00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,903
Zoom calls with
our fan club in Dubai,
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00:01:28,905 --> 00:01:31,148
giving Lamborghinis
to the homeless.
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00:01:31,150 --> 00:01:32,591
Sometimes I
just chill in my room,
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00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:35,427
recording Cameo messages
until my voice gives out.
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00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,837
(sucks on pacifier)
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00:01:36,839 --> 00:01:38,555
MAN: Huh.
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00:01:42,010 --> 00:01:43,751
(grunting)
42
00:01:43,753 --> 00:01:45,162
M'atchomaroon,
43
00:01:45,164 --> 00:01:47,164
or "Hey, guys" in Dothraki.
44
00:01:47,166 --> 00:01:48,832
Today I'm doing a deep-dive
45
00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:50,275
on the Internet's
current obsession,
46
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,111
The Simpsons Family Channel.
Camera 2.
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00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:56,173
In case you've been living in a
tauntaun these past four months,
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00:01:56,175 --> 00:01:58,117
here's the video
that started it all:
49
00:01:58,119 --> 00:02:01,286
"Cute Baby Gets Stage Fright."
Let's take a look.
50
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,846
♪ I have a duckie tail ♪
51
00:02:02,848 --> 00:02:05,273
♪ And a little duckie head ♪
52
00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:05,940
(crowd chuckles)
53
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,442
♪ I quack around the park ♪
54
00:02:07,444 --> 00:02:10,020
♪ And I eat the old man's bread ♪
55
00:02:10,022 --> 00:02:13,874
Maggie, remember
what we practiced.
56
00:02:13,876 --> 00:02:17,952
Poke Daddy's tummy
and kill the ants.
57
00:02:17,954 --> 00:02:19,954
♪ Honk, stomp, quack ♪
58
00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:21,956
Shake your diaper,
59
00:02:21,958 --> 00:02:24,034
touch the starfish,
60
00:02:24,036 --> 00:02:25,811
open your sandwich,
61
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,795
and Mick Jagger, Jagger, Jagger.
62
00:02:27,797 --> 00:02:29,723
(crowd cheers)
63
00:02:29,725 --> 00:02:31,541
-(Homer shouts)
-(crowd gasps)
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00:02:31,543 --> 00:02:32,317
(crowd cheers)
65
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,210
No, don't!
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00:02:33,303 --> 00:02:34,895
-(Homer gasping)
-(crowd gasping)
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00:02:34,897 --> 00:02:36,880
(crowd cheers)
68
00:02:36,882 --> 00:02:38,565
(crowd oohs)
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00:02:38,567 --> 00:02:40,993
(crowd laughs, cheers)
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00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:43,495
Best... origin story... ever.
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00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,831
It deservedly
got 20 million views,
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00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:49,393
and Homer launched a channel all about the special bond
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00:02:49,395 --> 00:02:51,819
between himself and the youngling Maggie.
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00:02:51,821 --> 00:02:52,987
(eating noisily)
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00:02:52,989 --> 00:02:54,506
(Maggie eats noisily)
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00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:57,217
(dog whines)
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00:02:59,162 --> 00:03:02,639
(vacuum cleaner running)
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00:03:04,834 --> 00:03:06,076
Say, Maggie,
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00:03:06,245 --> 00:03:09,429
do you think our viewers
could enter the code "Aw"
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00:03:09,431 --> 00:03:14,443
with 15 Ws for a discount
from Toy-Weasel.com?
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00:03:15,421 --> 00:03:16,695
HOMER:
Mmm.
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00:03:16,922 --> 00:03:19,589
The Internet fell in love
with the rest of the Simpsons
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00:03:19,591 --> 00:03:21,158
when they released...
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00:03:25,021 --> 00:03:29,599
♪ Everybody, yeah ♪
85
00:03:29,601 --> 00:03:34,296
♪ Rock your body, yeah... ♪
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00:03:43,206 --> 00:03:45,340
(tires screeching)
87
00:03:45,342 --> 00:03:46,892
-(siren wailing)
-♪ Now throw your hands up in the air ♪
88
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,502
Whoa, what's going on?
(shouts)
89
00:03:49,504 --> 00:03:50,804
(over radio):
♪ 'Cause we got it going on again ♪
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00:03:50,806 --> 00:03:52,714
WIGGUM:
Oh. I love this song.
91
00:03:52,716 --> 00:03:55,459
♪ Am I sexual? ♪
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00:03:55,461 --> 00:03:57,461
♪ Yeah. ♪
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00:03:57,463 --> 00:03:59,145
MAN:
Hmm.
94
00:03:59,147 --> 00:04:01,147
-Hmm.
-(mouse clicks)
95
00:04:01,149 --> 00:04:07,079
(theme song plays)
96
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,080
(camera shutter clicks)
97
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,564
Greetings, newshounds.
98
00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:13,660
Today, a retrospective on
The Simpsons Family Vlog.
99
00:04:13,662 --> 00:04:17,071
In case you've been living
in a grammar-rodeo boot camp
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00:04:17,073 --> 00:04:18,114
these past four months,
101
00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:20,241
here's the video
that started it all.
102
00:04:20,243 --> 00:04:23,262
(fast-forwarding)
103
00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:26,247
Soon each family member
had their own channel.
104
00:04:26,249 --> 00:04:28,249
Marge combined her
love of cooking
105
00:04:28,251 --> 00:04:30,176
and deeply personal questions
106
00:04:30,178 --> 00:04:32,679
for a groundbreaking interview show.
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00:04:32,681 --> 00:04:34,940
How you holding up, Krusty?
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00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,758
Ready for number four?
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00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,336
(groans) I'm not gonna lie,
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00:04:39,338 --> 00:04:41,521
number three feels like
it's not done with me,
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00:04:41,523 --> 00:04:44,174
but my agent said
this is what talk shows are now,
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00:04:44,176 --> 00:04:46,118
so... (burps) bring it on.
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00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,528
MARGE:
Next up, The Coagulator.
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00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:51,290
A tuna melt dipped
in funnel cake batter,
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00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:53,941
then fried in hot mayonnaise.
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00:04:53,943 --> 00:04:56,778
It clocks in at 300,000
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00:04:56,780 --> 00:04:58,613
on the Lethargo Scale.
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00:04:58,615 --> 00:05:01,358
Oh, I'm really regretting
all those bagels
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00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,593
I ate in the greenroom.
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00:05:05,380 --> 00:05:07,121
(shouts)
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00:05:07,123 --> 00:05:08,790
The grease
and the powdered sugar
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00:05:08,792 --> 00:05:12,126
are forming a paste
in the back of my throat.
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00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:14,962
Do you think your comedy
is fueled by rage
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00:05:14,964 --> 00:05:17,316
towards your father
or towards yourself?
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00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:21,044
Well, I'd rather talk about
my new holiday movie,
126
00:05:21,046 --> 00:05:23,713
A Very Merry Bris-mas.
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00:05:23,715 --> 00:05:24,656
(gags)
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00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,884
Oh, the batter is in my lungs.
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00:05:27,886 --> 00:05:31,479
Ow! Why is this a show?!
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00:05:31,481 --> 00:05:34,499
MARTIN: And Bart took pranking to a whole new level
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00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,668
with The 'Gurt Squad.
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00:05:38,063 --> 00:05:39,913
(stifling laughter)
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00:05:39,915 --> 00:05:42,966
Can I sample
the strawberry yogurt?
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00:05:45,995 --> 00:05:48,588
Wait, I'm allergic to strawb--
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00:05:48,590 --> 00:05:50,090
(imitates vomiting)
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00:05:50,092 --> 00:05:51,683
('Gurt Squad laughing)
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00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:08,349
The Simpsons were
YouTube sensations,
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00:06:08,351 --> 00:06:10,610
and corporate America
lavished them
139
00:06:10,612 --> 00:06:12,262
with sponsorships and lucre.
140
00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:14,522
But Lisa used her newfound fame
141
00:06:14,524 --> 00:06:17,709
to draw attention to issues close to her heart.
142
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,194
Hey, guys.
I'm here at Needle Beach,
143
00:06:20,196 --> 00:06:22,530
super stoked
to start this clean-up
144
00:06:22,532 --> 00:06:24,124
because, as you can see,
145
00:06:24,126 --> 00:06:26,276
this beach
is pretty messed up.
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00:06:26,278 --> 00:06:28,035
(gasps) What's that?
147
00:06:28,037 --> 00:06:30,797
Oh! Oh, you poor thing.
148
00:06:30,799 --> 00:06:33,308
Luckily,
I always carry wire cutters.
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00:06:34,878 --> 00:06:37,354
♪
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00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:39,439
(mouse clicks)
151
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:42,809
(mouse clicks)
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00:06:43,052 --> 00:06:44,736
(distorted voice):
Attention, Internet.
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00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,130
It is I, Truth Wizard.
154
00:06:47,132 --> 00:06:49,408
The Simpsons are not
who you think they are,
155
00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:52,226
and I can't let
these lies continue
156
00:06:52,228 --> 00:06:54,746
for even one more sec...
157
00:07:01,313 --> 00:07:03,997
...and I can't let
these lies continue
158
00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:06,499
for even one more sec...
159
00:07:06,501 --> 00:07:08,927
LUANN:
Milhouse, why are you
sitting in the dark?
160
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,654
You'll ruin your eyes.
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00:07:10,656 --> 00:07:11,763
Mom.
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00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:12,989
The doctor said your nose
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00:07:12,991 --> 00:07:14,415
can't support thicker glasses.
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00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:17,769
I'm recording a takedown.
Get out.
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00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:18,678
(door closes)
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00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,498
Okay, fine, it's me, Milhouse.
167
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:25,801
I was the one filming
every Simpson family video.
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00:07:25,803 --> 00:07:26,928
Take your shoes off first.
169
00:07:26,930 --> 00:07:30,932
All 50 million of you. (laughs)
170
00:07:30,934 --> 00:07:33,009
Yo, camera-monkey, shoes off.
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00:07:33,011 --> 00:07:36,362
MILHOUSE: I saw firsthand how the pressure to create content
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00:07:36,364 --> 00:07:38,790
-turned them into monsters.
-(Homer growls)
173
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,943
-HOMER: Where the hell
is the refrigerator?!
-(groans) Coming.
174
00:07:41,945 --> 00:07:43,536
(grunting)
175
00:07:43,538 --> 00:07:45,297
You have to tap it.
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00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:48,115
(grunts)
Oh, who would want this?
177
00:07:48,117 --> 00:07:49,951
-I'm getting a hammer.
-No.
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00:07:49,953 --> 00:07:52,220
You never let me get the hammer!
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00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,290
Ew, your hand is so sweaty.
180
00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:59,886
Would you tell my scene partner
to be professional?
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00:07:59,888 --> 00:08:02,539
MILHOUSE:
Uh, Bart? Lisa has a note...
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00:08:02,541 --> 00:08:03,540
Shut up, Milhouse.
183
00:08:03,542 --> 00:08:04,390
MILHOUSE:
Ow.
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00:08:04,392 --> 00:08:05,484
And those cool
185
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:06,559
'Gurt Squad friends
186
00:08:06,561 --> 00:08:09,062
that hype up Bart's prank videos?
187
00:08:09,064 --> 00:08:11,656
Paid Spucklers.
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00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,325
Hey, guys,
you don't have to go home
189
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,401
just 'cause
we're done filming pranks.
190
00:08:15,403 --> 00:08:19,072
Yeah, we was meaning
to ask you about that.
191
00:08:19,074 --> 00:08:22,167
How is what you do a prank?
192
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:25,228
This just seems like
a mean-spirited waste of yogurt.
193
00:08:25,230 --> 00:08:27,430
Okay, we'll use pudding.
Great note.
194
00:08:27,432 --> 00:08:29,399
Hey, you guys want
to jump on my trampoline?
195
00:08:29,401 --> 00:08:31,492
I'll take
the safety barrier down.
196
00:08:31,494 --> 00:08:35,530
We prefer to keep our
relationship professional.
197
00:08:35,532 --> 00:08:37,164
I'll... pay you.
198
00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,591
(groans) Fine.
199
00:08:38,593 --> 00:08:41,002
Time and a half.
And a basket of eggs.
200
00:08:41,004 --> 00:08:42,503
Our hen is feeling poorly.
201
00:08:42,597 --> 00:08:45,765
MILHOUSE: Even my off-again, off-again girlfriend Lisa
202
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:49,861
fell prey to the siren's call of Internet fame.
203
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:53,106
What the hell is this?
This beach is spotless.
204
00:08:53,108 --> 00:08:56,350
MILHOUSE:
Sorry, Lisa. We're on it.
205
00:08:56,352 --> 00:08:57,594
(grunts)
206
00:08:57,596 --> 00:09:00,872
Now where's this thing
I'm supposed to save?
207
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,782
MILHOUSE:
Uh, Gil, how's it coming?
208
00:09:02,784 --> 00:09:04,376
I-I'm trying. Ow!
209
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:07,437
This little fella's really
good at freeing himself.
210
00:09:07,439 --> 00:09:10,382
CREW PERSON:
That's a rented seal. Catch him.
211
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:11,958
We're gonna lose our deposit.
212
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,960
(both grunting)
213
00:09:13,962 --> 00:09:16,129
But let's take a look
at the relationship
214
00:09:16,131 --> 00:09:18,873
that started
this whole crazy ride:
215
00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:20,967
Homer and Maggie.
216
00:09:20,969 --> 00:09:23,044
We are so excited
to work with Maggie
217
00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:24,396
on this viral campaign for
218
00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:27,065
Nom-Noms 6: European Nom-cation.
219
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,401
We got Maggie's room all set up
220
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:32,128
for the ultimate immersive
Nom-Nom experience.
221
00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:35,131
Uh, one little hiccup.
222
00:09:35,133 --> 00:09:37,650
Maggie's terrified of Nom-Noms,
223
00:09:37,652 --> 00:09:39,077
especially the girl one.
224
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,913
I'm not sure why.
Uh, Bart will do it.
225
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,898
The yogurt kid? No way. No.
226
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:45,232
Either the Internet baby
goes in there,
227
00:09:45,234 --> 00:09:47,660
or you forfeit
all nom-pensation.
228
00:09:47,662 --> 00:09:51,089
So that's, uh, "nom"-negotiable?
229
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,592
-(chuckles)
-That's not a real word.
230
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:56,319
Maggie, there's
a cute baby bunny in there,
231
00:09:56,321 --> 00:10:01,266
so put this GoPro
on your head...
232
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,585
Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom.
233
00:10:04,587 --> 00:10:06,162
(Maggie shrieks, cries)
234
00:10:06,164 --> 00:10:10,166
NOM-NOMS:
Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-
nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom...
235
00:10:10,168 --> 00:10:12,110
(Maggie screaming)
236
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:15,447
(Maggie crying)
237
00:10:15,932 --> 00:10:17,490
Oh...
238
00:10:22,347 --> 00:10:24,180
Maggie, I'm sorry.
239
00:10:24,182 --> 00:10:25,531
(Maggie fussing)
240
00:10:25,533 --> 00:10:29,202
Poor Maggie. Although
I like the girl Nom-Nom.
241
00:10:29,204 --> 00:10:30,703
I like her a lot.
242
00:10:30,705 --> 00:10:33,539
I like the way her glasses
have eyelashes and...
243
00:10:33,541 --> 00:10:35,950
LUANN:
Milhouse,
come do your ear drops.
244
00:10:35,952 --> 00:10:37,510
Mom!
245
00:10:39,956 --> 00:10:40,864
(mouse clicks)
246
00:10:40,866 --> 00:10:41,865
Hey, guys.
247
00:10:41,867 --> 00:10:44,125
Welcome to episode 751 of
248
00:10:44,127 --> 00:10:46,052
The Lenny and Carl Situation.
249
00:10:46,054 --> 00:10:48,705
Back with us
is our frequent guest Moe.
250
00:10:48,707 --> 00:10:50,297
You gonna behave today, Moe?
251
00:10:50,299 --> 00:10:53,059
(chuckling):
Hey, don't cancel me, huh?
252
00:10:53,061 --> 00:10:55,320
Today we're talking about
the Simpson family,
253
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:59,382
specifically "Super Dad"
himself, Homer Simpson.
254
00:10:59,384 --> 00:11:00,550
Guy's a phony.
255
00:11:00,643 --> 00:11:03,495
Full disclosure:
You go back five, six months,
256
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,238
we were best friends
with the guy
257
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,149
before he got famous
for those baby videos.
258
00:11:08,151 --> 00:11:10,985
Yeah, so many nights getting
blackout drunk with Homer.
259
00:11:10,987 --> 00:11:13,897
I don't remember him
mentioning that baby once.
260
00:11:13,899 --> 00:11:17,008
And I heard Maggie won't make
any more videos with him.
261
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:21,179
What people been seeing
is all high-tech trickery.
262
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,598
Intern Barney, play the clip.
263
00:11:27,746 --> 00:11:30,021
HOMER: Mmm.
264
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,524
Oh, even fake Maggies
hate me.
265
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,526
(laughing)
266
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:35,676
You know, I'm thinking about
267
00:11:36,012 --> 00:11:38,196
going on the all-peanut diet.
You heard about this?
268
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,698
Supposed to be great
for the adrenals.
269
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,091
You know, the Aztecs,
that's all they ate was peanuts.
270
00:11:42,093 --> 00:11:44,035
Not like the crap we got today.
271
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,854
Them ancient nuts,
they was full of that, uh, uh,
272
00:11:46,856 --> 00:11:48,431
niacinnamonites. Yeah.
273
00:11:48,433 --> 00:11:49,599
'Cause of the sand they had.
274
00:11:49,601 --> 00:11:51,768
And they lived to be a hundred,
200 years old.
275
00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:54,379
-(man groans)
-MOE: Same thing with
the Mayans and cashews...
276
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,630
MAN:
Uh-uh.
277
00:11:58,868 --> 00:11:59,533
(mouse clicks)
278
00:11:59,535 --> 00:12:00,944
Hey, guys.
279
00:12:00,946 --> 00:12:03,388
We know there have been
a lot of rumors going around.
280
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,615
So we wanted
to formally announce
281
00:12:05,617 --> 00:12:07,892
that we'll be making
a formal announcement
282
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,061
tomorrow night on our livestream
283
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:13,547
which will address
all the recent controversies.
284
00:12:13,549 --> 00:12:17,810
And we'll Cluck-Stop at nothing
to earn your trust back.
285
00:12:17,812 --> 00:12:18,962
(grunts)
286
00:12:18,964 --> 00:12:20,739
FRINK: That was nine days ago.
287
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:24,650
Nobody has seen or heard
from the Simpsons family since.
288
00:12:24,652 --> 00:12:27,487
Over the next two hours,
I will break down my theories
289
00:12:27,489 --> 00:12:31,065
on what might have caused
their dramatic disappearance
290
00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:34,586
on this special edition of...
291
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:37,814
That's your cue.
This special edition of...
292
00:12:37,816 --> 00:12:38,998
Frinkileaks.
293
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,634
Now play
the suspenseful music.
294
00:12:42,912 --> 00:12:45,913
No, that's a latte macchiato.
295
00:12:45,915 --> 00:12:48,007
(suspenseful music playing)
296
00:12:48,009 --> 00:12:51,585
Well, you might as well
finish my coffee now.
297
00:12:51,587 --> 00:12:53,563
(grunting)
298
00:13:03,341 --> 00:13:07,786
Which brings us once again
to Snowball I,
299
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:10,013
which... (groans)
300
00:13:10,015 --> 00:13:12,682
Marker fumes. Oh, my.
301
00:13:12,684 --> 00:13:15,126
Hoyvik! Blarvlagin! Ivy.
302
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,610
(clears throat)
I apologize.
303
00:13:16,612 --> 00:13:20,206
Um... in summary, I have
concluded that the Simpsons
304
00:13:20,208 --> 00:13:23,617
are being held hostage
by a major tech company.
305
00:13:23,619 --> 00:13:26,362
Now, I cannot
say which one, but, um,
306
00:13:26,364 --> 00:13:29,599
follow the Google Doodles.
307
00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:35,313
If, uh, you pause
right where the video glitches,
308
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,464
you can see Homer
doesn't look human.
309
00:13:37,466 --> 00:13:41,060
More like an alien wearing
an ill-fitting human suit.
310
00:13:41,062 --> 00:13:42,303
Let me tell you something,
311
00:13:42,305 --> 00:13:45,064
Homer Simpsons has done more
for this country
312
00:13:45,066 --> 00:13:49,218
than Dr. Fauci
and Dr. Pimple Popper combined.
313
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:52,055
It's not his fault
he has a trash son
314
00:13:52,057 --> 00:13:54,165
with a face
like a lunch bag, okay?
315
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:58,061
Leave Homer Simpsons alone!
Leave him alone!
316
00:13:58,063 --> 00:14:00,338
(enunciating):
Welcome back to Patty...
317
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,156
(enunciating):
And Selma's...
318
00:14:02,158 --> 00:14:04,417
BOTH:
Tingle Palace.
319
00:14:04,419 --> 00:14:07,236
We were going to do part four
320
00:14:07,238 --> 00:14:10,849
of our scalp-delousing
role-play.
321
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,833
(tines riffling)
322
00:14:12,835 --> 00:14:14,835
But, in light of recent events,
323
00:14:14,837 --> 00:14:18,022
we're going to tell you what
we think happened to our
324
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:22,193
sister Marge Simpson.
325
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,438
(scales rubbing)
326
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:29,092
It's pretty obvious
that Homer snapped,
327
00:14:29,094 --> 00:14:30,869
ate the whole family.
328
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,537
and is hiding on a houseboat,
329
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:35,948
in a cloud of belches
that used to be his wife
330
00:14:35,950 --> 00:14:37,542
and kids.
331
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:40,027
(grunts)
332
00:14:40,029 --> 00:14:41,379
(scraping)
333
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,623
-(man shudders)
-(mouse clicks)
334
00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:46,125
Hmm... hmm.
335
00:14:46,127 --> 00:14:47,534
What's up, guys?
Today we had
336
00:14:47,536 --> 00:14:50,446
a whole cemetery parkour
segment ready to go,
337
00:14:50,448 --> 00:14:53,299
but instead we've got
a big announcement.
338
00:14:53,301 --> 00:14:55,226
The location
of the Simpsons' mansion
339
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,120
has always been super secret,
340
00:14:57,122 --> 00:14:58,471
but we figured out where it is.
341
00:14:58,473 --> 00:15:01,548
We found clues
in all their old videos.
342
00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:03,476
We're talking
regional birdsongs,
343
00:15:03,478 --> 00:15:06,129
town-specific
ice cream truck jingle.
344
00:15:06,131 --> 00:15:08,072
But the clincher:
my mom's dating a guy
345
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,966
who got fired
from the post office,
346
00:15:09,968 --> 00:15:11,801
and he gave us their address.
347
00:15:11,803 --> 00:15:14,487
We're heading there tonight
to get some answers.
348
00:15:14,489 --> 00:15:16,230
But first, parkour.
349
00:15:16,232 --> 00:15:17,823
Parkour. (grunts)
350
00:15:17,825 --> 00:15:18,899
Beloved husband!
351
00:15:18,901 --> 00:15:20,660
Angel-baby!
352
00:15:20,662 --> 00:15:22,979
Jewish guy! Parkour!
353
00:15:22,981 --> 00:15:24,255
-(mouse clicks)
-MAN: Eh...
354
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,164
-Huh.
-(mouse clicks)
355
00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:27,258
Hey, guys, I'm Shauna.
356
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,318
With a freaking exclusive.
357
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,487
I found the Simpsons mansion.
358
00:15:31,489 --> 00:15:34,657
What the hell, Jimbo?
Did you tell her the address?
359
00:15:34,659 --> 00:15:36,601
JIMBO:
Duh. She's my girlfriend. Hey...
360
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,496
(grunting)
361
00:15:40,498 --> 00:15:42,941
MARTIN:
Martin Prince here, now embedded
362
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,758
at the Simpsons family compound.
363
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:48,095
SHAUNA:
We're about to get
scooped, dumb-wads.
364
00:15:48,097 --> 00:15:51,950
Hey, guys, Simpsons...
(speaking gibberish)
365
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,267
Like and subscribe.
366
00:15:53,269 --> 00:15:54,844
-PATTY: Hey, guys.
-COMIC BOOK GUY: Hey, guys.
367
00:15:54,846 --> 00:15:56,770
-SHERRI AND TERRI: Hey, guys.
-MOE: Hey, guys.
368
00:15:56,772 --> 00:15:58,364
(gasps) It's a vlog swarm.
369
00:15:58,366 --> 00:16:01,033
No, no, no. This is our content.
370
00:16:01,035 --> 00:16:02,335
JIMBO:
Okay, okay.
371
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:03,869
(Crazy Cat Lady
speaking gibberish)
372
00:16:03,871 --> 00:16:06,372
JIMBO:
But turn on that light.
373
00:16:06,374 --> 00:16:08,524
NELSON:
This way, come on.
374
00:16:08,526 --> 00:16:10,209
(all panting)
375
00:16:10,211 --> 00:16:11,803
Ha! Look at this.
376
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,547
They obviously left in a hurry
without their phones.
377
00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:17,550
Shut up.
I can't hear myself Shauna.
378
00:16:18,886 --> 00:16:20,979
-Move out, people, let's go,
let's go, let's go.
-Come on, guys, let's go.
379
00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:23,055
(gasps)
Huh?
380
00:16:23,057 --> 00:16:25,891
(all shouting)
381
00:16:25,893 --> 00:16:26,818
-Hmm?
-What is this?
382
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,802
(all grunt curiously)
383
00:16:28,804 --> 00:16:30,229
-(Simpsons gasp)
-I found 'em!
384
00:16:30,231 --> 00:16:31,547
Somebody get a pic!
385
00:16:31,549 --> 00:16:32,306
Bart, the door!
386
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,534
-MARGE: Grab it!
-LISA: Get it!
387
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,830
Welcome, Simpson family.
388
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:42,558
So, nine days
in a panic room. Why?
389
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,577
Well, Opal,
our house had been built
390
00:16:44,579 --> 00:16:47,321
by a company we partnered with
that, at that point,
391
00:16:47,323 --> 00:16:50,491
had only built NFTs of houses.
(chuckles)
392
00:16:50,493 --> 00:16:53,252
They installed
the panic room door backwards.
393
00:16:53,254 --> 00:16:55,629
You could get in,
but you can't get out.
394
00:16:55,631 --> 00:16:58,424
But how did you all
end up trapped there?
395
00:16:58,426 --> 00:17:01,927
Well, we'd been getting ready
for our redemption livestream,
396
00:17:01,929 --> 00:17:04,004
and we were all a little tense.
397
00:17:04,006 --> 00:17:06,173
So I went to the panic room,
where we stored
398
00:17:06,175 --> 00:17:07,841
all of our sponsored crap,
399
00:17:07,843 --> 00:17:10,010
to get some
children's CBD gummies.
400
00:17:10,012 --> 00:17:12,196
But I was already in there
pounding 'em.
401
00:17:14,442 --> 00:17:17,777
MARGE: Then I ran in and yelled, "Stop fighting.
402
00:17:17,779 --> 00:17:19,428
"You're going to sweat through
403
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:21,597
your signature line of slimming activewear."
404
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:22,856
BART: But when we tried to leave,
405
00:17:22,858 --> 00:17:23,949
it was locked.
406
00:17:23,951 --> 00:17:25,859
LISA: I said, "Nobody panic.
407
00:17:25,861 --> 00:17:27,861
There's got to be a panic button."
408
00:17:27,863 --> 00:17:29,455
HOMER: Then I walked in, saying,
409
00:17:29,457 --> 00:17:31,365
"Marge, I can't find the fridge again."
410
00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:33,276
LISA: We tried to grab the door.
411
00:17:33,278 --> 00:17:34,460
But it was too late.
412
00:17:34,462 --> 00:17:37,538
We were trapped,
and it was all Homer's fault.
413
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:40,132
What? You said
it was nobody's fault.
414
00:17:40,134 --> 00:17:42,042
That's what
I'm supposed to feel,
415
00:17:42,044 --> 00:17:43,710
but I'm not there yet.
416
00:17:43,712 --> 00:17:46,397
LISA: We survived on products we'd been shilling
417
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:49,216
but had never actually eaten before.
418
00:17:49,218 --> 00:17:51,143
Luckily, there was
also a huge supply
419
00:17:51,145 --> 00:17:53,387
of single-use hat-toilets.
420
00:17:53,389 --> 00:17:56,056
Uh, I'm pretty sure
those were just hats.
421
00:17:56,058 --> 00:17:58,301
We didn't have any way
to post content,
422
00:17:58,303 --> 00:18:01,454
so we went through pretty severe withdrawal.
423
00:18:06,994 --> 00:18:09,312
MARGE:Then, sometime around day four,
424
00:18:09,314 --> 00:18:11,089
I said, "Where's Maggie?
425
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,174
She was just here a second ago."
426
00:18:14,652 --> 00:18:16,577
I moved the table from the wall and said,
427
00:18:16,579 --> 00:18:20,098
(gasps) "Oh, God. She must've crawled in the vent."
428
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,842
HOMER: I said, "Maggie, come back."
429
00:18:22,844 --> 00:18:26,495
That I'd never force her to do content ever again,
430
00:18:26,497 --> 00:18:29,089
that I wouldn't be #Daddy anymore,
431
00:18:29,091 --> 00:18:31,167
I'd just be Daddy.
432
00:18:31,169 --> 00:18:32,593
And then...
433
00:18:32,595 --> 00:18:34,687
LISA: She'd been in the cabinet the whole time.
434
00:18:34,689 --> 00:18:36,114
We were so relieved.
435
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:39,433
MARGE: Then we realized how high up she was, and then...
436
00:18:39,435 --> 00:18:41,677
BART:But Homer made an awesome catch.
437
00:18:41,679 --> 00:18:42,845
And Maggie barfed on him.
438
00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:44,288
(chuckles) Classic.
439
00:18:45,533 --> 00:18:48,793
MARGE: After that, something strange happened.
440
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,370
We started talking to each other.
441
00:18:51,372 --> 00:18:54,132
BART: Like texting with our mouths.
442
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,708
LISA: I'd almost forgotten
443
00:18:55,710 --> 00:18:58,377
I could L-O-L I-R-L.
444
00:18:58,379 --> 00:19:01,305
MARGE: It felt like we were coming out of a trance.
445
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,790
LISA: The only subscribers we needed
446
00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:05,977
were in that room.
447
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,961
Wow. Just, wow.
448
00:19:07,963 --> 00:19:11,390
We're shutting down
the YouTube channel
449
00:19:11,392 --> 00:19:14,560
because "The Simpson Family"
isn't who we are.
450
00:19:14,562 --> 00:19:17,380
We are the Simpsons.
451
00:19:17,382 --> 00:19:19,973
We are completely offline now.
452
00:19:19,975 --> 00:19:21,734
I don't even check
email anymore,
453
00:19:21,736 --> 00:19:24,495
but that's mainly 'cause we
moved back to Evergreen Terrace,
454
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:28,499
and our neighborino changed
his Wi-Fi passwordily-durdily.
455
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,001
Well, there you have it.
456
00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,336
A confusing, nonsense-word end
457
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,988
to the meteoric rise and fall
458
00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:36,841
and disappearance
and reappearance
459
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,843
and return to status quo
460
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,994
for the family
the Internet could not
461
00:19:40,996 --> 00:19:43,330
get enough of
for almost half a year.
462
00:19:43,332 --> 00:19:45,090
Can we go look at your beehives?
463
00:19:45,092 --> 00:19:47,351
Nah, we're all done here.
464
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,671
Well, that's four hours
of my life I'll never get back.
465
00:19:50,673 --> 00:19:54,600
WOMAN:
George R.R. Martin, you better
be working on that new book.
466
00:19:54,602 --> 00:19:56,027
I am.
467
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,512
You said you would finish
it years ago.
468
00:19:58,514 --> 00:19:59,530
I'm gonna.
469
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,425
They already made two TV shows
about it.
470
00:20:02,427 --> 00:20:05,594
I know that.
I went to the parties.
471
00:20:05,596 --> 00:20:08,764
No more parties until
you finish that book.
472
00:20:08,766 --> 00:20:10,041
I'm writing it right now.
473
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:12,451
I'm... doing research.
474
00:20:12,453 --> 00:20:14,170
(typing)
475
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:16,464
Oh.
476
00:20:17,866 --> 00:20:20,218
You did not just stick
your hands in the mint bowl.
477
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,202
Girl, use the spoon,
or I'm gonna have to
478
00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:24,129
kick your
Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Booty.
479
00:20:24,131 --> 00:20:25,872
Bitch, that is
an IHOP reference.
480
00:20:25,874 --> 00:20:27,466
-This is a Waffle House, mama.
-The Waffle House.
481
00:20:27,468 --> 00:20:30,394
♪ Waffle to the House, House ♪
482
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,230
♪ Waf to the kach to the House, how ♪
483
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:34,715
-♪ From the legendary House of Waffle. ♪
-(chuckling)
484
00:20:34,717 --> 00:20:37,126
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
485
00:20:37,128 --> 00:20:39,553
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
486
00:20:39,555 --> 00:20:42,365
and TOYOTA.
487
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:50,206
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
488
00:21:28,604 --> 00:21:29,537
Shh!
34302
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