Original subtitles

- Subtitles - Lu�s Filipe Bernardes

# What puts dirt to flight # # Soap Soap Soap Soap #

# Turns black into white # # Soap Soap Soap Soap #

# Keep Tobler in mind #

# You will find # # Tobler Soap is the only kind #

# You buy it in cakes # # Soap Soap Soap Soap #

# How little it takes # # Soap Soap Soap Soap #

# Keep Tobler on hand # # Understand #

# It's the best soap in the land #

This is Station KY2, Vienna.

This program comes to you through the courtesy of Tobler Soap Company...

...and its affiliates, the Tobler Textiles Institute,

the Tobler Metals Trusts, the Tobler Electrical Industries,

the Tobler Middle-European Bank.

In just a moment we will bring you the results of the nationwide...

...soap-slogan contest.

Good heavens, man, are you trying to cheat me?

I've given you South Africa, I threw in Ceylon,

I surrendered the Straits settlements,

and now you make the impossible demand that I give you Iceland as well.

This is business, not extortion.

Alright, Mr. Tobler, but this is the last time I'll trade stamps with you.

Well, that's... wonderful.

A fair exchange is no robbery, my boy.

I... Well, what is it, can't you see I'm busy?

- But, sir... - Well, speak up, man!

- The radio, sir. - What?

They're about to announce the winning slogan for the Tobler Soap contest.

Why didn't you say so? Get the station for me quickly.

And... run along, my boy.

And it wouldn't hurt you to do a little work around here once in a while.

"And now before we conclude our program,

I am happy to announce the winners of the Tobler Soap contest.

The two lucky winners of the first and second prizes...

...will receive free transportation and two-weeks' vacation in the Alps.

Stop doing that, I can't hear a thing.

And now for the prizes.

The first prize goes to Fritz Hagedorn, of Sophiastrasse, 12, for his slogan:

'Use Tobler Soap. You really should. It's half as much and twice as good.'

The second prize is awarded to Edward Schultz,

who gives his address as General Delivery, Vienna. Mr. Schultz's slogan reads:

'While there's life, there's soap. While there's soap, there's Tobler.'

On behalf of the Tobler Soap..."

That second slogan, my dear Reichenbach, that's a minor masterpiece, huh?

- While there's life, there's soap. - Sir, that's incorrect.

The saying goes, "While there is life, there is hope."

Well, of course, you dumbhead. That's exactly the point.

Sopa, hope, hope, soap. Don't you get it?

No, sir.

Oh, second prize, indeed. Here, just make a note, Reichenbach.

I want every one of those contest judges fired immediately.

Yes, sir, I quite agree, sir.

If you don't mind, Mr. Tobler, I've written a slogan.

Well?

He who washes Tobler's way will live to wash another day.

Yes... and just make another note.

One more slogan out of you and you're fired too.

Come in!

A telegram for you, Mr. Hagedorn.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Traub.

- Why don't you read it? - I'm praying first, Mrs. Traub.

Praying it's a job.

And if it is, you get all the back rent I owe you, first payday.

Well?

Oh, I've won another contest. Tobler Soap!

- How much did you win? - Two-weeks' vacation.

A vacation and I haven't worked in a year.

Contests, contests! Always you are winning contests.

An electric train, a pool table.

What is this to me? I want my rent.

Oh, you're forgetting, Mrs. Traub, only last month I gave you a washing machine.

Yes, and a refrigerator, and a set of chinaware,

and a pedigreed dachshund.

And a reducing machine. But this time I want money.

Mrs. Traub, how would you like a two weeks' vacation...

...absolutely free of charge at the Palace Hotel in the Alps?

Just think. First-class transportation, skiing, skating, dancing.

I don't like dancing.

Mingling with the elite of society, the giants of the financial world,

cheek-to-cheek with nobility, debutantes, millionaires, multimillionaires.

Consorting with people who need only lift a finger to give one a job.

Magnates and magnates' wives, whose very words form a command to wealth.

Who can make a man rich in the twinkling of an eye.

Who... who...

- Mrs. Traub. - Yes?

I'm going to the Palace Hotel.

Here, what are you trying to do?

Here, here... here, give me that ball

What do you mean, you, Marlene, you can't do that.

Um... 30/40.

- Mr. Tobler. - Oh, Kunkel!

How often have I told you not to shout while I'm playing ping-pong?

- You'd have lost anyway. - What?

That makes 90 schillings you owe me.

- Fifty. - Ninety.

You know you shouldn't play ping-pong.

Look at your face, it's as red as a beet.

Well, what of it, look at your own...

Oh, let's not talk about it.

- Mr. Tobler. - Yes?

I know I'm only your housekeeper. I have no right to tell you what to do.

- But I... - I know, I know.

You've been with me for thirty years, your only concern is what is good for me,

you've sacrificed your entire life to taking care of me and... have I omitted anything?

And you're not as young as you used to be and...

(both) therefore must not overtax your strength.

I knew I'd forgotten something.

Oh, Father, we'll have to hurry dinner or we'll be late for the opera.

Mrs. Leyden is calling for us.

Oh, well, I don't think I'll go to the opera tonight.

Oh, he's probably going to have another one of his colds.

Just as he's leaving for Paris.

Dinner is served.

Oh, um... dinner, yes. Come on, Hilde, Kunkel, dinner.

After dinner, my room, I want to speak to you.

- Delicious dinner tonight. - Not for me, I haven't had a thing.

Starve to death in my own house.

- You should starve a cold. - I haven't got a cold.

All I've done is to watch you people eating boiled beef and macaroni.

And what have I had? Roughage.

Think of all the people in Vienna who haven't had a thing to eat tonight.

- Including Father. - Oh, I... I... I...

- Ahahah! - What's the matter?

You know what happens when you drink brandy after dinner.

You never sleep a wink all night.

How do you know?

Mr. Tobler!

I know I'm only your housekeeper.

Oh, I didn't mean... I... What do you want?

Mrs. Leyden's car is here for Miss Hilde.

- Oh! - Be sure not to sit in a drowse.

Sit wherever you please.

- Good night, darling. - Good night, dear.

Oh, and Kunkel, try and find out why he's going to Paris.

- It is good. - Hot, eh?

- If Kunkel could only see this. - Here, have a cigar.

Thank you, sir, it's very good of you.

Sit down.

Here... I want to talk to you.

Johann, can I...

Just a minute.

Ahem...

Yes, that will be all, Kunkel.

And don't bring a hot brick for my bed or I'll throw it out the window.

Johann, did you happen to hear the radio announcement this afternoon...

...about the winners of the Tobler Soap contest?

- Yes, sir. - Hm.

And which slogan, by the way, did you prefer?

The second one took my fancy, sir, the one about life and soap.

Johann, you show excellent taste. You know who wrote that slogan?

The name, as I recall it, sir, was Schultz.

Edward Schultz, my dear Johann, is in this room.

- I beg your pardon, sir? - Yes, me, I am Edward Schultz.

I wrote that slogan.

- What do you say to that? - Did the judges know, sir?

Of course not, you idiot! I won the award on pure merit.

To them I was just Edward Schultz, an unknown.

- But it gave me an idea. - Oh, sir...

I'm going to have some fun out of this, Johann.

Tomorrow morning I am going to the Alps as Edward Schultz, the second prize winner.

Why don't you go as yourself, sir?

Because for once I want to climb out of the lap of luxury.

I want to see how other people live.

Not by looking down from a penthouse, but on the ground face-to-face with them.

I want to have fun without the restrictions of position or wealth.

I'm beginning to comprehend, sir.

Yes, and what's more, Johann, I'm going to take you with me.

But Mr. Tobler, this Schultz would hardly have a butler.

Of course not, you're not coming as my butler.

You'll go as Johann. Johann...

I've looked at that face of yours for 20 years and I don't know your last name yet.

- Kesselhut, sir. - Kesselhut.

Er... did you say Kesselhut?

Yes, I thought so. Johann Kesselhut.

Manager of the South Baltic Steamship Lines.

Not that I want you particularly,

but I've never travelled without you and Kunkel might suspect something.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

One word from you about this to Kunkel, Hilde or anyone else and I'll fire you.

Now remember, this is for your heartburn...

...and this is in case you have another dizzy spell.

I haven't had a dizzy spell in three years.

It's about time for another one.

There goes the whistle, you'd better hurry.

Johann, don't you let him out of your sight.

- Miss Hilde, hurry! - I'll be there right away.

- Goodbye! - Goodbye, Kunkel.

Throw away that medicine and have a good time.

Yes, but I'll be too busy to have a good time.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye, goodbye.

- Goodbye. - And don't let Kunkel... Oh, never mind.

- Oh, I'm terribly sorry. - Well, you should be!

Well, I said I was.

I was just trying to fit my skis into my compartment.

Well, I'm glad you told me, I thought you were trying to break my legs.

- Here, let me help you. - No, thanks. You've done enough already.

Oh, come on, help me, help me!

Does anyone ever tell you you have a nasty temper?

Oh, I wish I had time to tell you what I think of you.

So do I.

It's been fun knowing you.

Heavens, what's happened to you?

- Oh, a ski-jumper jumped on me. - What?

- Well, where's your hat? - Here it is.

- You broke my skis. - Good, that makes us even.

- Who is that man? - I don't know.

Mirror, Kunkel.

That's the kind of riffraff you meet on these trips.

It's an omen, that's what it is.

If I know your father, no good is going to come out of this.

Oh, Kunkel, he'll have the time of his life.

You're as bad as he is. I couldn't believe my ears when Johann confessed to me.

Confessed? Well, you probably blackmailed him into it.

I did nothing of the sort. I merely mentioned a certain incident early in his life.

Good morning.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- Has Mr. Schuman... - Mr. Bold, Mr. Bold!

There's a telephone call for you from Vienna.

She says it is private.

- Who is it? - She would not give me her name.

Yes...

Hello? Yes, this is the manager.

What? The winner of the Tobler Soap contest?

I beg your pardon, what was that?

A multimillionaire?

I can't give you his real name. His identity must be concealed.

No. What? Yes, very eccentric.

Very eccentric indeed. Now, you listen carefully, please.

I want him to have the very best of care.

I've sent you a draft to cover all additional expenses.

Very good, madame.

I beg your pardon, what was that?

Siamese kittens?

Well... well, I'll try.

Very good, madame.

No, not a word to anyone. You may trust me implicitly.

Now, what name is he travelling under?

He's travelling under the name of...

Kunkel! I'm sorry, are you phoning someone?

No... yes, yes, yes... I was ordering some kittens.

- Kittens? - I mean, some kidneys from the butcher.

- Operator! I've been cut off. - Maybe probably perhaps...

Oh, it doesn't matter. - Polter, we must work fast.

I want three Siamese kittens immediately.

I beg your pardon. Maybe I did not hear...

I said get me three Siamese kittens at once!

Mr. Bold, even a cat is allowed sixty days to get kittens.

My dear, Polter told me in the strictest confidence the man's a millionaire.

Polter told me he was a multimillionaire.

No one knows about this, but I am telling you...

...he's one of the wealthiest men in Europe.

How interesting. Did you hear that, Helena?

A millionaire. I wonder what he looks like.

When a man has that much money, what difference does it make what he looks like?

I'm Mr. Johann Kesselhut, general manager of the South Baltic Steamship Lines.

- You've reservations, of course. - Of course, sir.

This way, please. Will you sign here?

I know, I know.

My name is Hagedorn. I have a letter from the Tobler Soap Company.

You see, em...

Will you take care of Mr. Hagedorn, please?

Good morning, Mr. Hagedorn, we've been expecting you.

Yes, indeed. How are you, sir?

Oh... I'm fine, thank you. This letter will explain...

Oh, we know all about that letter, Mr. Hagedorn.

We are delighted to have you here, delighted.

I shall show you to your room, Mr. Hagedorn.

I shall show Mr. Hagedorn to his suite.

Here you are, sir.

I can smell a millionaire before he even enters the hotel.

And as for a multimillionaire, why...

Money is sticking out all over him.

- May I have my key, please? - Yes, Miss Mallebre.

Your key, Miss Mallebre.

And this.

Silly romantic boy.

- Oh! - Oh, allow me.

Madame.

I am Karl Bold, the manager. I am at your service night and day.

If there's anything you desire whatsoever, you only have to command me.

This way, please, Mr. Hagedorn.

- Right here. - Thank you, thank you.

Here, you take good care of these contest winners.

- Only when they are what they are. - I beg your pardon?

Strictly between us, Mr. Kesselhut, that gentleman is a multimillionaire.

What? How do you know?

Confidentially, a lady phoned us from Vienna.

No one must know.

Oh, gentlemen, that was wonderful, wonderful!

Thank you, that's nothing.

Our best man, Mr. Polter is the only man in the Alps who can do a triple cadenza.

A triple cadenza, well, that's a great gift.

I wish I could do a single cade... ca...

- Well good afternoon, gentlemen. - Auf wiedersehen.

Tell me, my good man, how long does it take to walk to the station?

- I will get you a car, Mr. Kesselhut. - I don't want a car.

- You want to walk? - I don't want to walk.

I wanted to know how long it takes.

Well, if you don't want to walk, what do you care how long it takes?

If I wanted to walk, how long would it take?

Well, would you want to walk fast, slow or medium?

Triple cadenza.

Ah, that's what I love about the Alps.

The yodeling of the peasants.

- Listen, you call that yodeling? - Beautiful, beautiful.

That is the worst yodel which I have ever heard.

I think I know a yodeler when I hear one.

The man is an artist.

I will show you what a real yodel is like.

Listen.

How's that?

Fair.

Maybe probably perhaps you were not even listening.

Please pay attention.

This time I will give you the triple cadenza.

What an echo.

The servants' entrance is around the back.

Oh, no, no, I'm not a servant, I'm Edward Schultz,

the second-prize winner of the Tobler Soap contest.

Just a minute, please.

This is most embarrassing.

I had forgotten all about the second-prize winner.

Why, that man looks like a tramp.

One guest like that can ruin the hotel.

- Would you like me to throw him out? - No, no, we can't do that.

After all, the Tobler concerns sent him here.

Maybe probably perhaps he will not like the hotel?

What do you mean?

Room 813.

That's what I mean.

- Here we are, Mr. Schultz. - Yes, room 813.

Mr. Schultz, you will be as snug as a bug in a rug.

But this is terrible! I couldn't stay in a place like this.

- I... I... - We are awfully sorry, Mr. Schultz.

But this is the only room we have left.

Well, I... I...

Oh... yes, well...

Let me see, on second thought, it's not so bad.

There's a nice view here from the window.

Of course there is one little drawback.

You see, the bed is not very soft.

In fact, it is as hard as a rock.

Well, if there's anything I hate, it's a soft bed.

We thought of changing the bed, but it seemed so silly.

Because you could not sleep anyhow.

You see those two pipes?

Those pipes control the water and the steam for the whole hotel.

And they always, always make a terrible noise doing it.

Well, that's splendid. My room in Vienna is right over a bowling alley.

We thought of having the pipes fixed,

but what's the use of fixing pipes in a room where... where the window is broken?

Well, if there's anything I despise, it's a hot room... it's stifling.

Maybe probably perhaps we could have repaired the window.

But what good would that be when the roof leaks?

Well, I could just put a pan underneath it.

Mr. Schultz, I hope you will enjoy your stay here.

You will probably want to wash up. I will break the ice for you.

- Caviar as usual, madame? - No, certainly not.

That looks good, what is it?

Um, boiled beef and macaroni.

Just what I want.

Thank you so much for suggesting it, I do so love plain food.

I'm very sorry, sir, but every table is occupied.

That's ridiculous! Here, what about that table there?

- And that one... - They're all reserved.

I don't believe it! I want a table!

I beg your pardon, sir, but I believe you're, um...

Oh, no, I'm not. You're thinking of somebody else.

- I'll be back later. - Just a moment, please.

As fellow prize winners, Mr. Schultz,

it's only fitting that we should dine together.

- Oh, you're Mr. Hagedorn. - That's right.

Mr. Schultz will dine with me.

- Well... how did you know me? - That's very simple.

Obviously, we're the ony two people in the room who have no dinner clothes.

Oh, yes... I... I see.

I don't mind telling you, Mr. Schultz, I think you should have won the first prize.

Well, that's very generous of you.

As a matter of fact, I thought so too.

Just go right ahead... Oh, boiled beef and macaroni!

- Yes, do you like it? - Oh, I love it.

Of course not for every meal, but let's say twice a day.

Yes, I'll have what he..

Have you ever won a contest before, Mr. Schultz?

No, no, no, this is my first, and you?

This is my twenty-sixth, that's the way I keep alive.

Oh, you mean you're not working?

No, every time I win a contest I try to talk them into giving me a job.

But so far I haven't been able to.

I can't seem to get to the top man.

Uh... did you try it at Tobler's?

Yes, but I finally gave up.

I suppose if I had met Tobler, he'd have turned out to be just like the rest.

Smug, self-satisfied, narrow.

Not able to see any futher than the end of his nose.

- Oh... uh... you think so? - I know so. Obviously the man is a fool,

otherwise he'd have conducted his contest in a different manner.

Well, I... what was the matter with the contest?

Well, the least he could have done was to have had each contestant...

...mail in ten soap wrappers with his answers.

That would have increased the sales by thousands.

Yes... er... have you any more ideas?

Hundreds of them if I could only get the right people to listen to them.

That's why I came up here, to sort of... meet the right people.

Have you had any success?

Well, just before dinner, Mr. Bold introduced me to a Mr. Johann Kesselhut.

He's manager of the Baltic Steamship Lines.

- He also knows Tobler. - Oh, he does, eh?

If Mr. Tobler is half as bad as Mr. Kesselhut said he was,

I'm glad I didn't meet him.

- Why, he, he... - I want you to meet Mr. Kesselhut.

I'll introduce you to him after dinner.

Oh... yes... that'll be a pleasure.

- Bartender. - Yes, sir.

Oh, Mr. Kesselhut.

Won't you join us?

I want you to meet Mr. Schultz.

- Mr. Kesselhut, this is Mr. Schultz. - Well, well, Mr. Kesselhut.

I've been waiting to meet you. Sit down, sit down.

Well, Mr. Kesselhut, Mr. Hagedorn here tells me you know Mr. Tobler.

- What kind of a man is he? - Oh, er...

A very fine gentleman.

Oh, that's all right, Mr. Kesselhut, you can trust Mr. Schultz.

Go on, tell him about Mr. Tobler being a jackass.

Oh, he's a jackass, is he?

Oh, um... I didn't say that.

Are you calling Mr. Hagedorn a liar?

Oh, I can understand Mr. Kesselhut not wanting to, um...

...belittle a fellow industrialist.

Oh, well, that's very nice of him.

Tell me, Mr. Kesselhut, what do his employees think of him?

Oh, what could they think of him?

Imagine being a valet to a man like that, huh?

I wouldn't want the job.

Would you, Mr. Kesselhut?

- Well, you see, Mr. Schultz... - Of course he wouldn't.

These financiers are all alike. Unaproachable, mean, short-sighted.

Oh, I don't mean you, Mr. Kesselhut.

Obvously you're different.

Oh, yes, he certainly is.

- Mr. Kesselhut, you can't... - Oh!

Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry.

It doesn't matter, Mr. Hagedorn, accidents will happen.

Well, I think...

Looks as if we're tied together for the night.

No, I think I've got it.

- Oh, I've torn your gown. - Never mind.

Well, isn't there something I can do?

You might ask me to dance.

I hardly expected to be rewarded for my clumsiness.

Um, excuse me, gentlemen.

Oh, certainly.

- Good night, sir. - Here, here, where are you going...

fellow industrialist?

It's long past your bedtime, sir, it's ten-thirty.

I've got to go and lay out your pajamas.

Shh! Someone will hear you.

Fine thing, shipping magnate laying out pajamas for a... jackass!

- Yes, sir. - What?!

Go on, get out of here or I'll sink every boat you've got.

Jackass.

Here, waiter.

Just bring me six cigars,

King Gustav perfectos, and some brandy, Murdoch 1842.

- Single or double brandy. - Well, bring me the bottle.

Yes, sir.

That Schultz wants six Gustavs and a whole bottle of Murdoch 1842.

- Shall I serve him? - Murdoch 1842 for that loafer?

I should say not.

Oh, waiter. It's okay, serve him right away.

- It's all right. - Yes, sir.

You dance divinely, Mr. Hagedorn.

I'm afraid I don't get many opportunities.

That's the trouble with you men, you never take time to relax.

Your only salvation is for a woman to take you in hand...

...and teach you how to enjoy yourself.

Do you recommend a good teacher?

I'll see what I can do for you.

Is everything all right, Mr. Schultz?

Oh, Mr. Polter, yes. Here, have a cigar.

Thank you very much, I will smoke it later.

Oh, no, here, smoke this one later.

Mr. Schultz, I have been requested by the management to present the bill.

Please. Cigars and brandy 124 schillings.

Oh, yes, that's all right, just put it on my account.

You have no account, Mr. Schultz.

Your room and meals are paid for by the Tobler Soap Company...

...and everything else is extra.

Have you 124 schillings, Mr. Schultz?

Um... no, I haven't.

Then how do you expect to pay this bill?

Well, I haven't the slightest idea. What do you suggest?

- There is only one way, Mr. Schultz. - Oh, yes, what's that?

Come with me, Mr. Schultz, come.

Well, another half hour now and we'll be finished and then I go home.

Oh, don't you live here at the hotel?

Here? I shoud say not.

I live in a house, not in a room with a number on my door.

- You live alone? - Sure.

Except for my family.

My wife and my five children, and my wife's father and my wife's mother.

Well, that's quite a few people.

Oh, just nice.

You see, we have a big house, three rooms and kitchen.

Three rooms... isn't it crowded?

Hm, yes, a little. But then, we like each other.

I see.

It's only when people don't like each other that they got to have lots of rooms.

Just like a boy and a girl.

- If they're in love, one chair is splendid. - Maybe you're right.

Sure I'm right.

We've got one man in this hotel he's got four rooms all to himself.

But that don't keep him from being lonesome.

Sometimes they're awful fools these rich people.

- Oh, you think so? - Sure, sure.

Here, I wash, you wipe.

- You know, I like you, Sepp. - I like you too, Mr. Schultz.

- Oh, no, call me Edward. - Edward.

- I hope we wash dishes often together. - Oh, yes, yes, I think I can arrange that.

Oh, look here, Sepp. Why don't we use the dish-washing machine?

No, Edward, I do not trust them things.

Dishes should be washed by hand.

Oh, no, you leave it to me, I know all about machinery.

Here, here, come on, get some and pile them up here.

We'll have them all through in no time.

I still say that dishes should be washed by hand.

Oh, no, that's all very simple.

Now, just spread them out there and... fine...

And here, here... there we are. Presto!

See?

Come on now. We'll get some soap and water and there we go.

The cover! You forgot to put the cover on.

Schultz! Stop that dish fight!

Stop that dish fight!

Stop that dish fight!

He's gone.

And so are the dishes.

Yes, well, don't you worry, Sepp, Polter thinks it was my fault.

And they can't throw me out of here because I'm here as Mr. Tobler's guest.

What are you going to do now?

Now I'm going to cut up some carrots into fancy shapes so they look like potatoes.

Then the chef will cook them so they taste like potatoes.

I don't see why they don't just use potatoes.

- Good night, Edward. - Good night.

Come in.

Oh... oh, good heavens, this is the wrong room.

Mrs. Mallebre.

I thought this was Helena's room, I'm terribly sorry.

- Well, good night again, Mr. Hagedorn. - Good night.

Oh, this is terrible.

Someone's coming.

What's the matter, are you being followed or something?

You don't understand.

Suppose someone should see me coming out of your room at this hour of night.

And in this. What would they think?

They'd probably think you look very attractive.

Oh, Mr. Hagedorn, you shouldn't say such things.

- My, what lovely rooms. - Yes, aren't they?

Um, would you like me to see if they're gone?

Oh, don't bother, they'll be gone in a minute.

Well, in the meantime won't you sit down?

You're very kind.

- Cigarette? - Thank you.

- Are you staying for the season, Mr. Hagedorn? - I'm afraid not.

My limit's two weeks, and you?

Well, that all depends.

You see, I just keep running away from loneliness.

- Ever since my husband... - Your husband?

Yes. He was taken from me three years ago.

Well... I was just a child.

- Dead? - No, divorced.

I really don't see why I'm telling you all this.

Except... except you seem so understanding.

Don't answer it.

Fritz, can I come in, it's Edward, Edward Schultz.

Oh, come in, Edward. Excuse me.

Fritz, I, uh...

Oh...

I didn't know you were... I'm sorry, I... Good night.

Oh, that's all right. Come in, come in, Edward.

I want you to meet a friend of mine, Edward Schultz.

- Mrs. Mallebre. - How... how do you do?

How do you do?

- Well, I'll see you tomorrow. - Oh, please don't go, Edward,

I assure you, Mr. Schultz, you weren't interrupting anything.

I was looking for Helena Meyer's room and...

- Come, let's have a nightcap, hm? - Oh, I'd be very happy to...

I'm afraid I must go.

Oh, please don't go. Stay and have just one drink.

- Well... - I'll get the brandy.

- It's nice weather we're having. - I've seen better.

Uh... you've... seen better.

- Stop it! - Uh... excuse me, I...

What is... oh...

Oh, one of these cats they sent me is ruining my pants.

Oh, kittens, Siamese kittens.

- Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty... - Careful, Edward, or they'll scratch you.

Oh, no, they won't scratch me, I love kittens.

- Don't you like them? - I hate them.

Oh, you are just like Marlene.

Well, they seem to have treated you all right, hm?

- Why. haven't you a suite like this? - Not like this. No, no, not exactly.

Here we are. I hope you like this, Mrs. Mallebre.

I haven't tried it yet.

- There you are, Edward. - Hm... thank you.

Well, this is Murdoch 1842, that's the finest brandy there is.

- The management left it here. - The management?

Well... well, here's to our vacations. May we all get what we're after.

- Hm, it tastes like soap. - It's no good unless it does.

Well, they certainly treat their first-prize winners right.

Yes?

- It's your hot brick, sir. - My what?

The hot brick, Mr. Hagedorn, for your bed.

There must be some mistake, I don't sleep with a hot brick.

Uh... just... just a minute, my good girl.

I remember hearing Mr. Kesselhut order a hot brick.

Suppose you take this to him with the compliments of Edward Schultz.

- Yes, sir. - Yes...

Imagine anyone sleeping with a hot brick.

I hope he enjoys it.

Well, I doubt it.

Um, no, thank you. I really must be going.

I can't imagine what dear Helena will think.

Oh, Mr. Schultz,

would you mind peeking outside and seeing if there's anybody in the hall?

Uh... well... with pleasure, dear lady.

Good night, Mr. Hagedorn. Sorry to have troubled you.

Good night.

No one in sight.

Good night, dear Mr. Schultz.

Oh... good night.

- Au revoir. - Until tomorrow.

Very attractive lady.

She seemed to take quite a fancy to you.

Oh... you... really think so?

- I'm certain of it. - Yes, well, that's possible.

Quite... possible.

Um, Fritz, by the way, would you mind if I spent the night here with you?

- I, um... my room is rather noisy. - Noisy?

Yes, someone's always walking up and down in front of it.

Oh, of course not, Edward, I'd be delighted.

This place is much too large for one man anyhow.

I can't understand the management giving me these rooms.

Kittens, brandy, hot bricks.

Perhaps they think that you're a millionaire in disguise.

Come in.

What... Kunkel, what are you packing for?

Read this.

- Stop. - Well, I like that!

Your father may be on his last legs. He may even be considering marriage.

He may be married already. And you, you laugh.

Oh, he must be having such a good time.

I'm going to bring him away from that place, back home where he belongs.

Now, Kunkel, I won't permit that. You'll spoil everything.

I'm leaving at once for the Palace Hotel.

The idea, a man of your father's age chasing a divorc�e from Alp to Alp.

- But Kunkel... - It's no use, Miss Hilde.

I'm going.

All right, Kunkel, if I can't stop you, I'll go with you.

Now you're being sensible. We'll bring him back.

Oh, no, not if I can help it.

I warn you, Kunkel, you'll do nothing to spoil Father's vacation.

For once in his life he's going to do as he pleases.

We'll see about that!

Here I come, Irene.

Well, Irene, I made it.

You're doing splendidly, Edward. Now let's go on the big slide.

- Oh, no, that makes me dizzy. - Now, Edward, there's no danger.

All you have to do is take hold of my hand and down we go.

Oh, down we... like a little... feather.

Miss Kunkel, I tell you, I saw them with my own eyes.

- A man of his age, at three in the morning? - And without his hat on.

Oh, he'll catch pneumonia skating at that hour.

We've got to do something.

He hasn't left that woman's side for a minute.

And now, now she's taking him out skiing.

Well, I'll put a stop to that. I'll tell her who he really is.

That will end his silly game.

It's a good thing we gave Miss Hilde the slip.

Yes.

What... Conductor, conductor!

How often do the passengers have an accident on this?

- Just once, madam. - Yes...

What?

Come on, Edward, it's as simple as falling off a log.

Yes, but this happens to be a cliff.

- I like the other hill better. - Oh, come on.

But this is dangerous, Irene. I might... you might hurt yourself.

Look! There he is!

Forwards!

Bear right!

Bear right, come on!

Bear right!

Johann... He's been killed.

Why, Edward, that was wonderful!

Oh, it was nothing. I guess it just comes to me naturally.

Yes, I guess it just comes to me naturally.

Johann, go after him! Go after him!

Me?

Kunkel! Johann!

Well, I hope you two St. Bernards haven't found Father yet.

He went down there on skis!

- Miss Hilde, go after him! - Oh, no.

I came up here for skiing not for spying.

Look out!

Johann, do something, do something!

- Like what? - Oh...

- So it's you again! - I thought I recognized you.

- How are you? - Bruised, thank you.

When I was just recovering from my first encounter with you.

We do seem to sort of meet head-on, don't we?

Is there no place where I'm not safe from you and your skis?

Come on, I'll show you.

Look, that's where you were headed.

Oh!

Oh, I am sorry. Please forgive me.

Well, I tried to be as gentle as I could.

Sure you did.

No, Mrs. Kunkel, you'll kill yourself!

For all I know, they may both be dead.

Someone's got to go after them, and if you're not man enough...

Here's to you, Miss, um... Miss, um...

You're not going to find out that way.

Suppose someone should ask me who you are, what do I tell them?

Tell them you don't know.

In case we get killed, who are you?

In case we get killed, it doesn't matter.

And so, for the past year I've won every contest.

- Except one. - What was that?

Trying to figure out who you are.

Don't you think you'd better give up?

- Not me, darling. - Darling?

Well, I have to call you something, I can't keep saying "Hey!"

I had no idea anything could be so beautiful.

It didn't seem to be the last time I was here.

- Let's go in. - All right.

- Fritz. - Hm?

Look here.

"How short is the road into eternity.

Franz Kobler left home at ten, was there at three."

Poor Franz.

- They call these Marterns. - What?

When a villager or guide is taken by accident,

his family builds one of these little shrines on the spot where he met his death.

Oh, I see.

In humble thanks for lives that here were spared,

from perils that we intimately shared,

a shrine has been built, a troth has been pledged...

...to Hans Gottlieb Lund and Gretchen Hedge.

- A troth has been pledged... - To Hans Gottlieb Lund and Gretchen Hedge.

You know, there's something strange about this place.

Strange? What do you mean?

Well, it's as if we weren't alone.

As if Hans and Gretchen, hundreds of Hanses and Gretchens,

were here all around us.

Listen.

I don't hear a thing.

Why, the place is alive with them. Can't you feel them?

All around us.

No.

But, um... maybe we'd better go before it gets overcrowded.

- Wait! - What is it?

Well, I don't know, I... I just know that...

- I want to kiss you. - Now I know we'd better go.

Oh, there's nothing personal about it, it's...

It's just this place.

Of course, as soon as we leave here, you'll recover your willpower completely.

- Come. - Um, no...

There's something I must find out.

We'll sit down here.

I don't believe in spells, I don't believe in magic.

If there is a spell, we'll break it.

Now talk about something.

Something else.

You know, the first time I met you,

I didn't like you at all.

- Go on. - But the second time...

I liked you just as much.

My willpower is disappearing.

Mine is too.

Then you feel it? I mean, the spell.

Yes. The place is haunted.

I can hear them. They're trying to tell us something.

That's right, that... that's what I mean.

They're trying to tell us...

- To tell us... - Yes?

- That if we don't hurry... - Yes?

We'll be late for dinner.

Now you see, you can't even walk. Please, Kunkel, go back to your room.

I've been in my room for three days.

Tonight I'm going to find your father no matter how much I suffer.

- But Mrs. Kunkel. - I know my duty when I see it.

He knows I'm here. Why hasn't he been to see me?

- I'd say he didn't want to see you. - Oh, there he is.

- I'm going after him! - Oh, no, Kunkel...

- Hello. - Hello.

Oh, um... Aunt Julia, I want you to meet Mr. Hagedorn.

I'm not... Why, that's the man who stole your hat.

I'm glad to see you again, Mrs. Kunkel.

How do you do?

Have you had an accident?

You call being buried alive an accident?

I am sorry.

I see you've met the admiral of the Baltic Fleet.

The wha... Oh...

Yes, we've met at dinner several times.

Allow me.

You dance divinely, Edward.

Oh, I hope I'm not tiring you, Irene.

With you it doesn't even seem like dancing.

I've asked two other people to join us.

I particularly want you to meet a very good friend of mine.

Mr. Schultz.

- What was that name? - Schultz, Edward Schultz.

- You'll enjoy meeting him. - I certainly will.

Thank you, Irene, thank you, I...

Oh, Mr. Schultz!

Mrs. Mallebre, Mr. Schultz, you know Mr. Kesselhut.

- I would like to introduce Mrs. Kunkel. - How do you do?

How do you do?

And Miss, um... You see, I still don't know your name.

Hilde Schultz.

- Schultz? - Schultz.

Yes, funny coincidence, isn't it, Mr. Schultz, we have the same name.

Yes... that's very funny.

Sit down, Mr. Schultz.

You needn't look at me that way because I'm going to tell... Oh!

My dear Mrs. Kunkel, what an original costume.

What do you represent, a wounded soldier?

It looks more like a wounded spy to me.

It is not a costume. I was hurt.

You're lucky, spies are usually shot!

Yes, and for admirals, they're very often sunk!

- Isn't he clever? - Yes.

All Schultzes are clever.

- Um, more champagne, Mrs. Mallebre? - Thank you.

- Edward? - No, no, I think I'll have some brandy.

Uh-uh!

Mrs. Kunkel, would you mind passing me the brandy?

Are you planning to stay here long, Miss Schultz?

Well, that's hard to tell, Mr. Schultz, that all depends on my father.

- Your father? - Yes, you see,

he isn't as young as he thinks he is and he has to be watched very carefully.

- What's the matter with him? - Just second childhood.

- I like your friend Schultz. - I'm glad.

- There's some music, shall we dance? - Yes.

Ask that hussy to dance, quick!

- Dance, Mrs. Mallebre? - Oh, no, this is my dance.

Oh, don't be selfish, Mr. Schultz, you had the last dance.

I'll dance just twice around with Mr. Kesselhut, then you can cut in, Edward.

I'm sure you dance divinely, Mr. Kesselhut.

Aren't you ashamed of yourself, a man of your age?

Yodeling with a divorc�e.

- Why, aren't you ashamed of... - Running around after that adventuress!

How dare you talk about her like that?

Look at that costume. Who does she think she is?

- Well, she's a schoolgirl. - A school... schoolgirl?

Heaven help the teacher.

I've had just about enough out of you, Kunkel!

You're leaving in the morning, and Johann and Hilde will go with you.

Where are you going? - I'm going to dance with Mrs. Mallebre.

And I'm going to dance till 6 o'clock in the morning!

And in between that do you know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to drink brandy in front of an open window in a draft!

There I go, I'm coughing already.

Hooray!

What's that over there?

- What? - That.

- Looks like a door. - From this side it does,

but before we jump to any conclusions, let's look at the other side.

Yes, and then if it matches, we'll know it's a door.

That's right.

Oh, how wonderful!

Aren't you glad we discovered that door?

It's the greatest discovery in years.

Look what it opened up for us.

Mountains, moonlight...

...and a world all to ourselves.

What are you doing?

Wait a minute.

I'll show you.

There.

In the names of Hilde Schultz and Fritz Hagedorn I claim this world.

- Now no one can take it away from us. - Just let them try.

It's ours for keeps.

At least until next weekend, you know.

Who gets it then?

I don't know, I won't be here to find out.

- I'll be back in Vienna. - Oh, there are hundreds of doors in Vienna.

We'll find another world.

I'm afraid not.

There'll be two worlds there, Hilde.

Yours and mine.

And they're so far apart.

What do you mean?

I'm afraid we won't see each other after I leave here.

Why not?

You're rich. Up here it doesn't matter so much.

but back there it will all be different.

I can't get into your world and you won't want to come into mine.

- That's not true. - Yes, it is.

Even up here I can feel the difference.

They're not my kind, Kesselhut, and Mallebre and the rest of them.

I only feel at home when I'm with someone like Schultz.

Suppose I told you that I was as poor as Schultz.

Oh, but you're not, you can't be.

- What about your aunt? - Oh, I'm only her companion.

Just a poor relation.

- You mean you work for the old lady? - Oh, yes indeed, I...

I've spent my entire life taking care of her.

Oh, that's terrible.

A young girl like you, I have a mind to tell her a thing or two.

Oh, no, you mustn't, I might lose my job.

I know it's selfish of me to say so, Hilde.

I'm glad you're poor.

It's not so bad this world of ours.

We may be struggling, but at least we're alive.

When we taste good food, it's an adventure, not an everyday incident..

When we dance, or skate, or have a good time,

we'll remember it always.

And our memory isn't blunted by doing the same thing night after night.

And when we fall in love,

we know we're loved for ourselves alone.

And I thought you were rich.

- You're cold. - Yes.

- Maybe we'd better skate some more. - All right.

Oh.

We'll need this to claim the new world we're going to find.

- What are you going to do? - I'm going to find Mr. Tobler.

- Give me Mrs. Mallebre's room. - Mrs. Mallebre's room?

Oh... I'll answer it.

Hello?

Hello?

I thought so.

- Probably rang the wrong room. - Yes.

- Are you feeling better? - Yes.

Must have been the crowd and the excitement of dancing with you.

- It made me feel a little faint. - Oh, poor baby.

Oh, it's stifling in here.

Would you mind if I got out of these hot clothes into something cooler?

Oh, no, no, no, go right ahead.

This is terrible, terrible!

- You! - Me?

- Come here. - What are you going to do?

- The name is Polter. - How do you do?

Um, suppose a gentleman were to go up to a lady's room in this hotel.

- Yes? - Well, um...

Wouldn't the hotel do something about it?

I'll just pretend you did not ask me.

Thank you, I... How dare you!

- Oh, please, it was your idea! - I was referring to Mr. Schultz.

Schultz? Schultz in a woman's room? Where is he?

With Mrs. Mallebre.

I shall investigate at once. We do not allow such things in this hotel!

- Edward. - Yes?

There's some brandy on the writing table, help yourself, won't you?

Oh, thank you, Irene.

Why, Edward, where are you going?

Oh... I'm going to get a bottle opener, I'll be right back, I...

Why, there's one right here in the drawer.

No, don't bother, I'm not feeling very well, I...

I think I'll go to bed.

All you need is a good drink of brandy, that will fix you right up.

I'll see you later...

Mr. Schultz! Open this door!

Edward, this is terrible, what are we going to do?

Well, you've done plenty!

Aha! Monkey business!

Monkey... I was just having a drink with this lady here.

I see what I see, and I have seen enough.

Mr. Schultz, this is the end. You will leave this hotel tomorrow morning!

- And you will leave this room right now! - You haven't heard the last of this!

You, you... stuffed owl!

Polter, thank you for saving me.

I am always at your service, Mrs. Mallebre.

I shall remember that, Polter.

- Who is it? - It's me, Hilde.

Oh, come in.

What are you doing here?

Oh, Father.

No, no, no, you can't make up with me that way.

I've had about enough of you, and Johann and Kunkel.

You, you... Oh, I didn't mean that, darling.

Why, what's the matter?

Oh, I'm so happy, and so unhappy.

Well, what is it?

Something wonderful has happened.

- Fritz? - How did you know?

Well, all the Schultzes are clever.

But I've spoiled it all, Father. I've done the most terrible thing.

- What... what was sit? - I did what you did.

I pretended to be poor, and he believed me, and...

Now I don't know what to do.

Oh... oh, here, Hilde.

You mustn't worry, Hilde,

if he really loves you, it won't matter even if you are wealthy.

After all, he must make some sacrifices.

Yes, but when he finds out I've been deceiving him...

We won't let him find out until the proper time.

We've both been masquerading, hm?

Only at least you found an honest man and I...

I just made a fool of myself.

Father, what happened?

Well, it's Schultz, he's dead, Hilde. He died a few minutes ago.

Yet, I think it's all for the best. He was a conceited old fool anyway.

Thinking that a young attractive woman would like him for himself.

Oh, Father, I loved Schultz.

Yes, well, we're leaving here in the morning.

But what about Fritz, I can't leave him...

You can write him a little note and tell him that you've been called away suddenly.

And you'll see him in Vienna...

And after that, you can leave Fritz to me, hm?

Father, what a terrible noise!

I know. It was good enough for Schultz... but not for me!

Help! Help! It's an earthquake!

- Hello. - Yes... yes, ma'am!

Come on, come on, let me do it. Let me do it.

Hello! Hello! Hello! My radiator just exploded!

Hello? Water out in 223?

Hello? Steam steaming in 236?

238? Yes, madam, we are trying to do our best.

Yes, ma'am... no, sir...

What's happened, what's going on?

Somebody's trying to blow up the hotel.

I know! 813, Schultz!

Open!

- Oh, what... - Shh!!!

What are you trying to do, break the hotel?

Do you expect me to listen to this racket all night?

We do not expect anything, Mr. Schultz,

except that you get out in the first train in the morning.

And that goes for you too, Mrs. Mallebre!

Don't call me Mrs. Mallebre!

Oh, you... you Bluebeard!

What about Fritz Hagedorn, have you found him yet?

Well, let me know the minute he gets here.

I want results, not excuses.

Yes, it's Monday, tomorrow's Tuesday, the next day is Wednesday.

Half the week gone and nothing accomplished.

You people have got to stop forgetting things.

Well, just run along and do some work or something.

Yes. What?

No, don't bother me, ask Reichenbach.

Rei... chenbach.

- Reichenbach? - Yes, sir?

Yes, well, what about the Palace Hotel, have you bought it?

No, sir, but there's a chain of hotels in Romania...

What? No, I don't want a chain of hotels in Romania.

I don't want any restaurants in Yugoslavia. I want the Palace Hotel!

Buy it! Buy it if you have to buy up the whole mountain to get it!

Yes, sir, I'm doing my best.

Yes, sir.

Here's the early stock market edition, sir.

Um, what do you want?

There's something in the paper you should see immediately.

Never mind about that, what about the Palace Hotel?

I told you already, sir, I haven't had word yet.

What's the delay, go on, get busy on it!

Read the paper, sir!

Oh, I have more important things to worry about! Go on, get out!

Mr. Bold, why do you think Mr. Tobler wants to see us?

Whatever it is you keep your mouth shut. I will do the talking.

There's only one reason. That Schultz may have complained to Mr. Tobler.

It was your idea to make him wash dishes.

You put him in 813.

Excuse me, please, Mr. Bold, you always blame everything on me.

Well, what do you want now?

- About the hotel, sir. - Well, did you buy it?

- No, sir, you don't... - When I give orders, I want them...

- But you don't have to buy it, sir. - Are you telling me what I have to do?

- You already own it, sir. - What?

You acquired it 13 years ago in the Kruger deal.

I acquired...

Why... yes, of course! Of course I own it!

A fine manager you are trying to buy me a hotel I already own.

- Excuse me, sir. - Yes.

There's a Mr. Polter, a Mr. Bold and a Mr. Sepp to see you, sir.

- Yes... - Oh, and I have a new stamp.

Oh, I haven't time for that, can't you see I'm busy?

Um... here!

- Where is it from? - New Guinea.

New Guinea? See me later.

Uh... just show them in!

Um... you can... No, no... turn the chairs.

Come in, come in!

Sit down!

I have a very serious complaint here from one of our contest winners.

Mr. Edward Schultz.

Surely, Mr. Tobler,

you're not going to take the word of a worm like Schultz against my word.

Believe me, Mr. Tobler, that Schultz is the worst liar I have ever met.

It's a lie. Mr. Schultz is a very fine man.

Thank you, Sepp.

- Edward! - Schultz.

813.

There is no Schultz. I am Tobler.

And I just wanted to know how a poor man would be treated at the Palace Hotel.

And I certainly found out.

Bold, Polter, you're fired.

- What right have you to discharge me? - Because I happen to won the Palace hotel.

Oh, I'm... I have...

Just a moment, gentlemen. You're fired, however,

if my new hotel manager sees fit to reengage you, I won't interfere.

Sepp, as my new manager, I leave it entirely in your hands.

Yes. Well what do you say?

Do you want to give them another chance?

Well, um... anyone can make a mistake.

Oh, that is very kind of you, Mr. Sepp.

Mr. Sepp, it will be a pleasure to work for you.

And now you can go back to your hotel... to my hotel.

And the first thing I want you to do is to board up room 813.

Yes, si, thank you, sir.

No, no, Sepp, you're going to stay here for a week as my guest.

But Edward!

Oh, Reichenbach, have one of the men take Mr. Sepp to my tailor...

...and see that he's outfitted completely.

Yes, sir. Oh, the new advertising manager is in my office.

- Well, is everything all straightened out? - I think so, sir.

Don't think, you should know!

He's to be made general advertising manager...

...with the salary of 100.000 schillings a year!

Yes, sir. This way, Mr. Sepp.

Yes, Sepp, I'll see you later for lunch, hm?

Boiled beef and macaroni.

- I'm so glad you are a rich man. - Why?

Because as a poor man you could never make a living.

- Yes, sir? - Get me my daughter.

Hello?

Oh, yes, hello, Hilde. Yes... everything's arranged.

Oh, no. No, no, you've got to tell him who you are yourself.

I'm not in love with him.

No, I'm not afraid, I'm just a little scared.

All right, I'll... Stop yelling!

Yes, I'll tell him, I'll tell him.

Yes, I'll go there right now.

Goodbye, dear.

Mr. Hagedorn, Mr. Tobler and I were rather impressed with your slogan.

Thank you, sir.

Now, would you consider 25,000 schillings a year?

25,000?

Yes, Mr. Tobler?

I said 100,000 and not a schilling less!

- Do as you're told, you imbecile! - Just as you say, sir.

Mr. Hagedorn, now, this is a very important position.

and we couldn't consider paying our general advertising manager...

...under 100,000 schillings a year.

A hundred thousand?

Oh, let me see that stamp, boy, hm?

I warn you, Mr. Tobler, you won't get this one for nothing.

Oh, now, now, I've never taken advantage of you yet, have I?

It's a great world, my boy.

A great...

Get my lawyer! Get all my lawyers!

I... tomorrow.

Hilde!

Hilde.

I followed you the moment I got your letter.

Why did your aunt make you leave?

I've been searching for you everywhere.

I phoned every Schultz in Vienna.

I came as soon as I could, Fritz.

You've come in time to hear great news, Hilde.

I've got a job, with Tobler!

I'm advertising manager.

General advertising manager.

- I'm glad for you, Fritz. - Why, it's for you too, Hilde.

We'll have a beautiful house, we'll go out every night.

We'll have money, Hilde, money!

- Aren't you happy? - Of course I'm happy.

But I... I thought you didn't like rich people.

Oh, we'll be different, we won't be like the rest.

Don't you see, if we'd always been rich, none of this would matter.

Now I can get you things you've never had before.

Things you've never dreamt of having.

- Come on. - Where are we going?

To buy you the moon, the stars, anything you want.

But first we'll be married.

Fritz, you don't know anything about me. I...

You do want to be married?

- I mean, to me. - Oh, yes, Fritz

Why, I've never even proposed to you.

Miss Schultz, may I have the honor of your hand in marriage?

There. Now, off we go.

- But Fritz, I must talk to you... - We have all our lives to talk.

But...

Hilde, what is it?

I know, you're worried about your aunt.

Yes, that's it.

You don't owe her a thing after the way she's treated you.

Yes, but I have to let her know, I can't just leave her.

All right, we'll be married tomorrow instead. You can tell her in the morning.

But tonight we'll celebrate. A farewell party for Hilde Schultz.

- Come on. - Fritz.

Promise you'll never stop loving me. No matter what happens.

No matter what happens.

The plaintiff being first duly sworn...

proposes, alleges and says that whereas she...

Never mind the "whereases" and the "alleges", what does she want?

She wants you to fulfill your promise.

- Fulfill my... what promise? - Your promise to marry her.

I never promised to marry her, I just...

She has made public to her friends her impending marriage to you.

Now, if you fail to perform as stipulated on the night of January 12th,

it will be damage to the extent of 5,000,000 schillings.

Five million schillings?

For that sum, she will consent to waive the mental agony you've caused her.

Mental... I won't give her a schilling!

And you'll have a scandal.

Well, it's a fine state of affairs! A drink of brandy with a lady...

...and pay 5,000,000 schillings for the privilege.

You'll be the laughing stock of the year!

They'll make jokes about you in the music halls.

- I think we'd better pay. - Well, I don't. I'm going to fight!

We've looked into it from every angle. The fact remains, you were seen in her room.

- And if you understand Latin... - What's Latin got to do... I...

The whole thing... it's boiled down to...

Hotel Plaza. Just a moment.

Hello?

What? Right away!

Desk, there's a fire in Mrs. Mallebre's room, 614.

Fire in 614?

Hurry!

Where... where is it?

I don't see any fire.

- What is this? - Where's the fire?

- Fire? - Yes, fire.

What's the trouble?

What... who is this man?

You're asking us?

Go on, get out! Get out!

I thought there was a fire here.

Fine business bursting into people's rooms like this.

Go on, get out! I don't care what reason it is...

What are you doing here? Who are you?

Me? I'm Sepp. You know, the dishwasher from the Palace Hotel.

But how did you get in here?

With my passkey from my room.

What do you mean by sneaking into my room?

Well, I, um... I thought maybe you might give me some money.

- Money? - Hm-hmm, only 5,000,000 schillings.

What are you talking about?

Well, somebody saw you alone with Mr. Tobler...

...and for that you wanted him to give you 5,000,000 schillings.

It looked like such a good business I thought I'd try it myself.

My, what a place!

Tomorrow I'll take you out of this poor house.

You'd better hear what I have to say first.

Oh, a nice girl like you must have a very dull past.

So, if I must listen how about a nightcap over it?

- All right. - Wait a minute.

Now you may go, Miss Schultz.

- Don't you make any noise. - No.

- Help! - Stop it! Stop it!

Help! Help, help...

Oh, it's you. I always knew you were a thief.

Hilde told me what you were like, but you're even worse.

- Hilde told you what? - I know all about you.

Begrudging that poor girl her happiness, treating her like a prisoner!

Why, I couldn't treat her better if the were my own flesh and blood.

You, you weasler. - You old battle axe!

Here, here, what's going on here?

Edward!

I caught him! He was trying to rob the house.

- What are you doing here? - Never mind... I... I...

- What's happened? - Mr. Kesselhut!

Now don't get excited, there's nothing to get excited about.

Don't get excited, you mustn't get excited.

- Hilde, what does this mean? - Fritz, please, I can explain everything.

He was trying to steal your picture, Miss Hilde.

- Oh, no... - Miss Hilde?

Miss Hilde? Who is this woman, who are these people?

- Tell me! - Here, don't you strike my daughter!

Your daughter?

Oh, Fritz, that's what I've been trying to tell you.

I'm Hilde Tobler, this is my father,

Kunkel's our housekeeper and Kesselhut... Johann's our butler and...

- So that's why you hired me! - No...

To buy me for your daughter. Well, you can't do it. I'm through!

- Oh, no! - Stop, here...

Oh, she's fainted, get some water!

No, no, no, get some brandy!

Fritz, darling, please, let me explain...

Look out! Oh, now you see...

Please listen to me, you've got to listen to me.

Darling, I love you. I only pretended to be poor because you wanted me that way.

But you've got to marry me even if I am rich!

- I will not. - Oh, darling, please say you'll marry me.

No! Get this woman off my lap!

Oh, here, give me that brandy. I can't bear to see a woman faint.

- Are you going to marry me or not? - No! Get some...

You promised to marry me and you will or, I'll... I'll...

I'll sue you for breech of promise.

Oh, get this woman off my lap and I'll do anything.

You promise?

Well, it's taking an awful chance. There's insanity in the family.

You're all crazy.

Kiss me.

No, no, do it right.

You know, you have to thank Kunkel for this. You'd have lost him if she hadn't fainted.

Who said I fainted?

What... what...

- Subtitles - Lu�s Filipe Bernardes