Original subtitles

Young master, it's ready.

-Good job, young master. -Here's your towel, young master.

What did the young master write?

His name.

That's great!

Now, it's just me who knows that young master can write his name!

-Yes. -Fuck.

It's nice.

Let me see it!

This is nice! It reads "the flamboyant So Cha Ha Yee Chan"!

You've read it backwards, master.

"Chan Yee Ha Cha So."

Good boy, but don't be smug! Got me?

Dad, since the epoch of the Qing Dynasty,

the So Cha Ha Yee family

had been nothing but a bunch of illiterates.

But not anymore. My son, who's your grandson,

knows how to write his own name!

This is truly remarkable, Dad.

Now that he can write,

he will be a scholar one day.

Now that he can write his name,

he will be blessed with a son.

-Young master, you should practice harder. -Yes, I know.

Chan, I think we should mount it.

Sure!

Professor, put it up somewhere everyone can see.

Wait a minute, professor.

Why don't we decorate it in red and parade it around town?

Go!

Chan, sit down with me.

I'm glad to have a hardworking son like you.

Listen to me. You know I've been the black sheep of the family.

And I've used up almost my entire fortune.

And the worst part is, one day I'll die,

and you will have to fend for yourself.

I'm used to fending for myself.

Here.

Here's a check worth 100,000 taels. Spend wisely.

Sucker, hand me the imported hat.

Where are you going, Chan?

I got a birthday party tonight.

How old are you?

I'm turning 25. Don't be late!

At least, you've got to groom yourself for the occasion.

You look like a beggar!

Can a beggar be that rich? Then I want to be one!

The birthday boy is such a fathead.

Come over here.

Yes, master?

Look at my brat's invitations. Aren't they pretty?

If I'm having a birthday party, I got to do better than this!

Your Majesty, what do you think about the Cantonese Opera?

For sure, it can't compete with Beijing Opera.

But it's good to learn about it.

Tips for all.

Tips for all.

Tips for all.

Happy birthday, Mr. So.

I'm left homeless, poor, and sick.

My wife and kids have left me and I have no one to turn to.

-Do you have alms to spare? -Damn beggar, are you kidding?

You dirty bastard, how dare you seek charity here?

I'm going to beat you up--

-Tip him! -Yes, young master.

Are you kidding? How could you tip him like that?

Hey.

A beggar is just like us.

He can come as long as he can afford it.

I'll subsidize your expenses here for the month, including the hookers!

-All expenses paid? -Why not?

Sure, of course.

-Come this way. -Come with me, sir.

Mr. So!

Hello.

How are you, Madam Pimp?

That's not nice of you to call me that!

We should all be frank, right?

You want frank?

You look like a mourner with that hat on.

Did your dad die or something?

I'm glad that you talk like that!

Mr. Chiu, you helped me wipe out the Hairy Gang,

so you will receive an award from the emperor.

I'll appreciate it if you say something nice

in His Majesty's audience.

The show is over, and here are your napkins.

Here.

Mr. So is here!

Mr. So, happy birthday!

This way...

Mr. So, today is your big day, so you should be happy.

We got you some new girls just for your pleasure.

Anyone would do. They are all the same.

None of them stands out.

Mr. So, what's the matter?

She licked me.

What? Whoever did that to you, I'll pull out her tongue--

Not with her tongue, but with her eyes.

I've never seen a glance so fatally tempting.

May I know who she is?

Yu Shueng is just a substitute.

Are you interested in sleeping with her, Mr. Chiu?

You should ask His Majesty first.

How do you like it?

We're just friends, just go ahead if you want.

Help yourself, Mr. Chiu.

Why, thank you.

Service, please?

Yu Shueng, come down and greet Mr. Chiu!

Yu Shueng, he's the one who killed our dad.

I know, stay calm. Let's go.

Mr. Chiu, Yu Shueng is here.

It's my pleasure to meet you, Mr. Chiu. I'm Yu Shueng, your lady for tonight.

She's gorgeous.

Mr. Chiu, what are we going to do tonight?

One hundred thousand taels?

If Yu Shueng sleeps with our young master tonight,

you better get lost!

Hello! I'm terribly sorry about that,

but I hope you don't mind!

Excuse me. Let me be fair to everyone.

Whoever gets to offer us more than 100,000 taels

gets to sleep with Yu Shueng.

There's no need to fight over it, okay?

What a big spender you are.

MONEY

The check looks too simple to me.

I have a pearl which is granted by the royal family. It's invaluable!

I like the pearl more.

Mr. Chiu, I'll wait for you in my room.

Is the pearl worth 100,000 taels?

Don't you think it's too little?

I like money too, but I don't like you.

She's frank. I really like that!

But Mr. So--

Never mind.

I guess Yu Shueng doesn't like me

because my hat doesn't match my hair, and I deserved that!

Good to know, sir!

Relax, there are more pretty girls you could choose from.

So madam, I'm counting on you tonight!

I didn't do this!

How dare you!

A Mantis Fist? Not bad.

Music!

Hold it!

Crane's Beak, Tiger Claws!

Your Mantis Fist is no match to my Tiger-Crane combo.

I know that combo as much as you do!

Then how about a taste of my Mantis?

Bravo!

Your Tiger-Crane combo is defeated.

That's not Tiger-Crane.

It's a Peacock Spread.

That's why it's so weak!

That was fast.

You look pretty tough.

Kid, you don't know how the wind blows.

The General of Canton's here!

Make way!

I'll shoot down whoever picks on my son!

-Master. -Master.

Now, Chan. Who picked on you?

No, I picked on someone.

What? You picked on someone?

What has he got that you would pick on him?

Sir, they picked on him.

-Who the hell are you? -Just take a look at this.

The Iron-Capped Prince?

It's a gift! Hey, Chan.

They brought you a gift, so stop picking on them.

-Come on, give these girls some tips. -But, master,

look what's inscribed on it. "Iron Cap Prince, Sengge Rinchen."

How dare you seize His Majesty's medal?

-Arrest him! -Hold on! According to Qing law,

an imperial courtier is forbidden from engaging with courtesans!

Now, here you are in a brothel.

So you're the one breaking the law!

Then what about you?

-Who, me? -Yes, you!

That's right, I'm here to...

-to arrest... -Arrest you.

-Him! -Arrest him!

As the General of Canton,

I'm here to come after bad apples like you!

-By the way-- -What else? Say it!

Today is the birthday of the former Empress Dowager.

So your offense goes up one notch and it could result in capital punishment!

-Off with his head! -Off with his head!

According to Qing law,

a man who doesn't sport a queue may be sentenced to death.

So you...

Want to see my hair?

Be my guest, you jerk.

Cut the crap, just finish him off!

Okay, that's enough!

General So, let's put this to rest and have some fun.

Hey, I haven't had fun tonight.

Your Majesty, I didn't think that they would spoil your fun here.

So I'm terribly sorry about that.

You're excused.

Let's go.

Sir, you shouldn't have messed with him. We better leave.

-Okay, we're leaving. -Yes.

Just put the troubles behind.

Young master, your hat.

That's one tough guy.

Uncle Mok, the dishes are all poisoned.

Good! Chu Mo Kei plotted against our chief

and some of our generals in the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom.

And he framed us, the Beggars Sect.

Because of what he did to us,

everyone hates us now.

They say we're imperial lapdogs.

Now, we're going to make him pay for all this!

-Yes. -Yes.

They are innately very powerful,

so don't make a move until he falls into our trap

because we're no match against him, even as a group.

I will try my best to seduce him to bed.

Someone's coming.

Get ready.

Yu Shueng, we meet again.

What brings you here? And where's Mr. Chiu?

Mr. So crushed Mr. Chiu's pearl into pearl powder,

and I drank it.

Don't judge Mr. So from his hair

because he's actually really manly.

-But he-- -That's enough.

He paid me 100,000 taels, you know?

And I won't return it.

You know, Mr. So is kind of--

Cut the crap, Madam Pimp!

Leave.

Yes, sir.

-But, Ms. Seven-- -Just bear with him.

Who is he?

I don't know.

First of all, fair maiden, I have good news for you.

I like you.

Sounds like bad news to me.

I knew you would say that.

On to my main point. I would fork out 100 pearls

just so you can keep me company for the night.

I'm not interested in you. Get out!

I made the right choice!

All right, may I drink this?

No!

That was a huge shocker.

-Miss. -Hands off!

So you do martial arts?

No, I don't know any of that sort.

I beg you, stop bothering me.

I won't keep you company.

Yu Shueng, I've never met someone who had been this nice to me.

I realize that I'm in love with you.

What?

I said, I'm in love with you.

Are you kidding me?

I'm serious. I've decided to marry you.

Are you crazy?

You've got to be kidding!

Someone's hiding around here!

Good, I could use a witness.

-A witness? -Yes.

I swear in front of your sword

that I sincerely intend to marry Yu Shueng,

and if I lied, may lightning strike me to death.

I'm so happy for you, Yu Shueng.

Hey!

You think it's easy being my husband?

Then how do I become your husband?

I want a martial arts champion who's second to no one on Earth!

Can you do that?

Let me think.

Yes, I can.

Okay. Come back to me once you've achieved that.

Well, I think we should set a date for our wedding

because as a scholar, martial arts is too easy for me!

Okay, but you better give me some time to consider this.

No problem, I will wait for your response outside the garden.

See you.

-Pervert. -Pervert.

Only members of the Beggars Sect are authorized to pass!

Sir, it's been 15 minutes. We're right on time.

The coast is clear. We may pass.

Good, very good.

Let's move!

Damn, we're too late!

He stood in our way.

-Yu Shueng? -What is it?

That jerk is still here.

Let's get rid of him.

Leave it. He means us no harm.

Let him go.

Do you like him somehow?

What did you say?

I won't fall in love with anybody until we get rid of Chiu.

Especially him.

Chiu is good at martial arts.

Uncle Mok said we can only defeat him with the 18 Dragon-Subduing Palms.

Guess I won't be married after all.

Let's go if you want to marry.

Who the hell are you? How dare you scare me like that?

Mr. So, it's me, your Madam Pimp.

Stop waiting for Yu Shueng, she has gone out now.

She is going to Beijing.

Beijing?

Men should contribute to the country

I've got no place to hang my pigtail

Swing and swing!

I pull it and play with it...

Dad!

I want to join the Martial Arts Contest.

Chan,

I've waited 25 years to hear you utter those words.

Now, do our family proud!

Don't look at it that way. I'm not doing it for anyone

except for one lady.

You hero!

You want to be a martial arts champion just for a lady?

Who's that lady?

Her name is Yu Shueng, and she's from the Yee Hung Brothel.

She's a whore?

What's wrong with that?

You have such exquisite taste!

You deserve my praise.

I'll take you there!

Two, three, four, five, six!

Coming!

Chan is going for the contest in Beijing, so let's all move there!

Stop chasing the chickens!

We won't be taking them along. There's plenty in the capital.

Be careful!

Whoever breaks my property is going to get it from me!

Be careful!

-Good morning, Dad. -Good morning.

-You're going to move all of them? -Of course!

Could you give me something to wear?

You are only a kid, you don't need it.

I'm not little anymore!

So yours is bigger than mine?

-Are you teasing me? -Sooner or later, it would be.

Could anyone give me a pair of pants or something?

Don't look!

Don't just stand there, take it away!

This house is so big for us to move.

Spare no effort, everyone!

Ready, one, two, three, push!

Push!

Be careful!

Tie it up nicely.

Do you want to move the tree too, sir?

Of course!

Or I won't be able to eat lychee in Beijing.

Push it over.

Be careful now. Look out for the fruits!

Take good care of my lychee tree, you idiots!

Chu Mo Kei has assisted me

in executing a crackdown against the Hairy Gang in Guangxi.

Therefore I present him to Your Majesty's audience.

Good. I shall appoint you to be my Deputy Left Censor-in-Chief of the Censorate.

May you serve the Qing Empire dutifully.

Thank you, Your Majesty.

Your Majesty, Mr. Chiu is a brilliant magician.

Why don't you ask him to show you something?

Magic?

Mr. Chiu, show me your magic.

Yes.

It's nothing. Dismissed!

-Hey! -Hey!

LONG LIVE THE EMPEROR

My heartfelt apologies if it had frightened you.

If only the woman was real.

Hurry!

What is it?

Come on, go in.

What is it?

Hide inside.

Ready, young master?

Come on.

Now everyone, stand still.

Such a sweet smell. Are you Piu Hung?

Wow, you're so clever!

Come closer.

You're so tall. You must be Shorty?

-Don't call me that! -You are indeed tall.

Is that a baby bump? You can't fool me.

It's you, Dad!

Damn it, you got me!

That's my boy.

I wanted to trick you actually, but you were brilliant.

That's it, folks. Chan has a contest tomorrow.

Stop playing now. You're dismissed.

Chan, have you prepared for tomorrow's contest?

What should I prepare? I'll surely pass, you know?

Of course!

I feel assured just by looking at you.

Chan, meet Cheng Sai Pak.

He will be your examiner. Say hello.

Mr. Cheng, how thoughtless of me!

See? My son looks like a champion, doesn't he?

That's if he's lucky.

Cheng, I've asked someone

to deal with the papers you gave me.

Are you going to rig them?

The papers are the least of your concern.

But when it comes to archery,

equestrian, weightlifting, boxing, and weaponry,

it's all up to him.

Don't worry.

My son is proficient in all fields of martial arts.

But could you consider giving me a two-million tael deduction?

We may be friends, but this is business.

I would present an echelon formation, with the cavalry in the lead,

the archers on the sides, and the artillery at the back.

MARTIAL ARTS EXAMINATION

Candidates of the Martial Arts Preliminary Examination, please come forward!

HEBEI

GUANGDONG

MONGOLIA

ZHEJIANG

JIANGSU

FAILED

FAILED

I can't lift it.

SHAMELESS

I don't want to waste my energy.

Shameless? Damn you.

Oh, ten points!

TEN POINTS

The Martial Arts Exam finals begin now!

The candidates are

-Botaroto from Mongolia... -Bravo!

and So Cha Ha Yee Chan from Guangdong.

Last call.

So Cha Ha Yee Chan, one to ten. Botaroto, one to one.

You've got to be kidding me! That's a big difference.

One is one to ten and the other one to one.

Why is there no faith in my boy?

Of course. Chan forfeited in weightlifting.

Look at Botaroto

with a full score, so it's different.

He's in a contest, not hard labor.

What's the point of weightlifting?

-You shouldn't put it that way. -What?

Our colleague here is experienced, you know?

I studied the contest long enough, and I don't quite agree with the odds.

Botaroto may look fit and vigorous,

but he's sweating all around his neck before he even competes.

-I suspect he's overheated. -Is it?

Really?

-As for So Cha Ha Yee Chan-- -What do you think?

He may have let down the spectators,

but he's worked his ass off to reach this level.

Excuse me?

I mean, he has the spirit to fight on.

So I want to place all my bets on him.

How much do you want to bet?

Eight hundred thousand taels.

Just eight hundred thousand taels? Why not two million?

Why are you so optimistic about Chan?

I think you're great at analyzing.

You know what? I think So Chan will surely win this one.

Come here.

-I want to bet more on him. -Really?

Two million taels!

That's the spirit!

Why don't you bet?

Why should I bet? He's my son.

Shit! I missed one factor out of my calculation.

What did you leave out?

The bloodlines.

The examiners have arrived!

Wait, isn't Cheng the examiner?

Take your seats, please.

Sengge Rinchen?

What's up with that?

He's Botaroto's uncle.

Shall we begin?

Begin!

They should give him extra two points for that powerful shot.

Yes, I second that.

So's arrow wasn't right on target. Botaroto won this round.

What the hell? Are they trying to cheat?

Candidates, on your horses!

Mr. Chiu.

Take these with you. You may find them useful.

Round two begins now!

They are cheating us again!

They fixed the match! Can I withdraw my bets?

Chan won this round!

Did you rip the ticket?

No, I didn't.

Are you kidding me?

Not giving up? Bring it on!

Okay, let's start over. I'll go easy on you.

So you can't complain!

Trying to pull a dirty trick?

Serves you right, sucker!

Hooray, he did it!

This calls for some tea!

All what? Excuse me?

It's in English.

Of course, it is!

There is no prohibition on weapons.

You fell down first, so Botaroto won again!

Damn you, Cheng! You turned your back on me!

I will beat you to death if I see you again!

Forget it, you won't see him anymore.

Why?

I want to kill him now so I won't lose my two million!

Just kidding.

You're shameless.

By winning two of three rounds, Botaroto is our martial arts champion!

Hey, I won. I object!

What happened?

The dart... it's poisoned.

Serves you right!

His own dart poisoned him!

Now, my son gets the championship!

-And I am going to be rich! -Yes!

Why you...

Praise be to my ancestors.

You have good taste.

Sir, His Majesty wants to bestow the title himself.

Then be it.

Mr. Champion, we would like to ask you a few questions for the imperial record.

Who do you thank for your victory?

Yu Shueng!

-Who's Yu Shueng? -Is that his mother?

-Long live the emperor! -Long live the emperor!

-Get up. -As you wish!

So who is our new martial arts champion?

He goes by the name So Chan from Guangdong, Your Majesty.

So Cha Ha Yee Chan at your service, Your Majesty.

Your Majesty, I would like to report something.

Go ahead.

I've discovered that So is illiterate

so he couldn't possibly answer the strategy paper.

He must have cheated.

Bring him the stationery.

Yes!

So Cha Ha Yee Chan, write your name now.

Thank heavens, he now knows how to write his name!

He can write his name!

I can't write.

You were clearly cheating.

Take him away to be executed!

Please, no!

Your Majesty, I was the one who cheated.

My son did nothing. Just execute me if you have to.

No, I should be executed!

Sorry, Dad. I can't write my name.

Yes, I knew it already.

I should be executed.

-Execute me. -No, execute me.

-Kill me. -No, Your Majesty, you better kill me.

Scoundrels! Are you both commanding me?

I'm holding you both for collusion.

Secretary of Appointments, what's their penalty?

Secretary of Appointments, where are you? Come out now!

At your service!

He's the Secretary of Appointments?

So Chan and his father are liable to be executed for cheating His Majesty.

But due to the family's outstanding service, their lives will be spared.

Instead, we will seize their property for corruption and...

Were you in law enforcement?

No, I haven't reported myself for duty in seven years.

So he didn't commit any miscarriage of duty.

Your Majesty, I suggest that we do no more than confiscate their property.

What? Why are you so lenient?

I'm just being fair.

I'm basing my judgment on the basic law.

Can we be a little tougher on them?

Yes, sire. You're the Emperor after all.

I want them to be beggars for the rest of their lives!

Sengge Rinchen,

why didn't you report his cheating?

Good thing we have Chu Mo Kei.

Mr. Chiu, you deserve a reward for uncovering the scandal.

I'm going with the flow...

Don't touch my father's ancestral tablet!

What do you need that incense burner for?

With the times

A pair of lovebirds

Are not meant to part

So I just--

Young master.

From now on, you must work on your writing skills.

So I just can't stop yearning for you

Professor.

I'll learn.

I shouldn't regret...

Master, I promise I'll take good care of your turtle.

I am sorry, master.

We failed to bear you any children for all the years together.

It's okay.

That was all my fault.

If I did better, you would've borne more babies.

But I think I'm good with Chan.

Don't just stand here. Go.

-Farewell, master. -Farewell, master.

Godspeed.

We're free!

I'm overjoyed!

Such a joyous occasion!

In we go!

Hurry...

What the--

What is he laughing about? He's being evicted.

Is that so?

It's so hilarious...

Welcome, please come in!

Damn, we're being evicted. I feel like crying, my boy!

No, we got to preserve our dignity.

Keep on laughing!

Son, have you kept any money for yourself?

No, how about you?

I forgot.

-Damn, we're all done for! -Damn, we're all done for!

Spare us some alms, kind sir...

Son, do you think he's like me?

The chanting one?

-No, I meant the alms giver! -Hey!

He's more presumptuous than the chanting beggar.

No, I say he's rather dashing. Everyone's different.

This is all my fault!

I kept calling you beggar all the time.

And now we've become one.

I'm not resigning to this.

Do we have to be beggars just because the emperor told us to?

I'm talented and skilled in martial arts.

Even the gods won't let me be a beggar!

-That's right. -Do I look like a beggar?

-No! -Have some food money, you beggars.

Hey, did you just call us beggars?

Damn you, old lady!

Outrageous! Let's find something to eat.

Chan, since we have nothing to do,

let me find us a seat so we may be able to dine tonight.

So you call yourself a beggar?

Don't worry, Dad.

We don't have to beg for money.

Then how do we get money?

Just ask for it decently!

Excuse me, sir. May I know your name?

-I'm Nau Tai Chung. -Do you have money?

-Yes. -Can I have some of it?

Sure!

-Thanks. -Hey!

Why should I give you money?

Why do you ask so much?

I deserve to know why!

I don't care, I want the money.

No, I demand an explanation.

Stop asking and start giving!

Hands off!

Are you robbing me?

Help, I'm being robbed!

No, we're not robbing him. We're just begging.

You're begging? How dare you trick me like that?

Are you taking me for a fool? I'm smarter than you think!

It's been two days now.

It's getting cold, and I'm starving.

Do you have any idea?

Yes. My friend's stepmother has a sister

who happens to live in Beijing.

And she once told me she admired you.

Really?

Yes, if you are willing to date her.

She may help us get back to Canton.

But you have to sacrifice.

-Here it goes. -Do you mean...

I'll do anything for our sake.

It's going to be hard.

Enough, let's go find her!

I have arranged it.

She will come out under the lantern wearing a red dress.

It's a ghost!

There he is.

Then I'm leaving this to you!

Chan, I haven't tried this before. Be careful!

Don't worry, I'll take care of you.

You want to earn big, right?

Right...

Make way!

No street performances allowed!

Sir, we just want to earn some money to go back to Canton.

So if you could please show us some mercy?

The emperor ordered

that So Cha Ha Yee Chan and his father be beggars for life.

And you may do no more than that.

I'm just performing my duties. Men!

-Yes, sir! -Seize their belongings!

-Yes, sir! -Yes, sir!

Help!

Master Chiu, I can't carry this by myself!

Then could the rest help him?

-Yes, sir! -Yes, sir!

What do you want?

-We can't move it! -Let me try!

You want to fight me?

You may have gotten away at the Yee Hung Brothel,

but you won't be so lucky this time.

This one is not a piece of cake.

I have to defeat him in a single blow

without letting him counterattack.

Chan!

Chan!

-I've crippled all your arms and legs. -Chan!

And this is how you will live out your days!

You want to fight? Forget it!

At least, you can still beg for money.

Let's move!

-Make way! -Make way!

Hang on, Chan. You're going to be fine.

Hang on, Chan. You're going to be fine.

Hang on.

On that day, my son and I went to the contest venue,

and then I met this examiner.

Could you guess who he was?

It's that bastard Sengge Rinchen!

I can't remember what we did wrong to him.

It makes me mad when I hear his name!

Let's take a smoke break.

You could use a smoke now.

-Yes! -I second that.

We dueled him at the Yee Hung Brothel,

but we let him off in the end,

not thinking he would then bite us back.

He set up my son

by tampering with the equipment.

Fortunately, my son was smart enough to outwit him.

I want a martial arts champion

who's second to no one on Earth!

Can you do that?

Yes, I can.

Okay.

Come back to me once you've achieved that.

Well, I think we should set a date for our wedding

because as a scholar, martial arts is too easy for me!

Write your name!

I can't write.

Chan, are you all right?

Was it another nightmare?

Don't think so much.

Here.

It's been two months now. You should be able to move.

-But your limbs haven't fully recovered. -Mr. Ha Yee?

I'm coming!

I am going out to beg for food.

Then I'll make you herbal tea for one last time.

Dad, are you going begging again?

Just leave that to your old man.

You are still my champion.

Chan, it's hard to be a beggar.

You got to know the tricks of the trade.

You don't just show your hand and beg for money.

You need at least a bowl as a status marker.

Even beggars are divided into class. What bullshit!

Hurry up!

I am coming!

We will miss our food if we're late!

I'm coming...

You think you're still the general you used to be?

Could you spare me some money?

-I'm sorry, I don't have any! -Go away, don't disrupt my business!

Got to go, Chan!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Do you mind?

Write it yourself!

You're off duty. Can I borrow it for a while?

Are you taking me for a fool?

Dad!

What?

I feel so freaking cold, Chan.

No, you're burning hot.

-Are you sick? -No, I'm not.

It's late.

I've got to go beg for food.

Stay here. I'll take over for today.

You're going begging?

No, I'm going to find it my way.

Now, rest.

I'll take you to the doctor once I get some money.

You little brat, why won't you eat?

You should eat more so you would be strong.

Finish it.

-No, I am full. -You should take all the food.

Never mind, let's go home.

Come on, eat it all! Finish it!

-Young man. -What?

-Could you-- -No!

Show me some mercy! And you will be blessed!

Why won't you show pity to this lowly beggar?

My father is dying.

Would you like some carbon, Mr. Beggar?

Oh, thank you!

Could you give me some coins?

It's you!

I think you're mistaken.

Yu Shueng, it's him!

No...

Yu Shueng, it's So Chan!

-Hey! -Hey!

Wait!

Miss, who are you looking for?

I'm sorry, I was mistaken.

Tsui, bring him some dumplings.

You're mistaken, he's not So Chan.

You look like someone I know.

Come here for some dumplings if you can't find anything to eat.

We always leave leftovers.

-Here are the dumplings. -Take them.

Thank you.

Yu Shueng,

he wouldn't be so poor if it weren't for you.

Dad, what did you do?

I was starving to death!

Then I saw a kid with some dumplings and took a little bite.

I brought you some. Give them back.

That's like saying I can cut off your head and give it back to you!

Aren't you the champion?

Hey, it's really you, right?

-Almost-- -Guys, it's really him!

-Let's be nice to him, okay? -It's him.

Thank you.

Wait a minute! We just happened to meet.

He's right, we happened to meet. Perhaps they will treat us a meal.

Here's the dog food.

Mr. Champion, I'll let your father go if you can have some dog food.

It's really dog food.

What's the matter?

Just eat it.

Chan, don't eat that!

Or you will fall from grace!

Just leave me behind.

Please, sir! I was the General of Canton...

-What the hell? -Stop fighting!

Stand still.

A martial arts champion is eating dog food!

Dad, it's quite delicious.

Then why don't I try some?

It's delicious, isn't it?

Dad, look!

I found a pork shred.

It's not a shred, it's pork chop!

You're as hungry as dogs.

You can enjoy dog food all your life!

Don't stop. Finish it.

It's delicious.

I would like to keep it as a midnight snack.

That's very clever of you!

You deserve to be beggars!

While the champion is eating dog food,

-let's go get us some decent chow! -Let's go!

Mr. So!

And you are?

My father was chief of the Beggars Sect.

So I thought I would like you to join us.

I hope you don't mind, sir.

Sure. You mean, it's a beggars club?

-Yes. -Good! We happen to be beggars now.

We got someone to take care of us.

Chan... Where did that brat go?

-Where's Chan? Where did he go? -Okay, you can count us in!

Chan?

Chan!

-Happy New Year, Yu Shueng! -Happy New Year!

-Happy New Year, Uncle Mok! -Happy New Year!

This is for you.

Thank you.

A set of clothes for you and another for Chan.

Thank you. Put it down first.

-Do you have any coins? -Yes.

-Give them to me, come on. -What for?

It's the new year, so you deserve some red packets.

Here, I wish you good health!

Have a wonderful year ahead!

-Thank you. -Uncle Mok, we're too old for that!

How about Chan?

Chan? He hasn't been awake since last night.

He's still tucked in bed.

He just got to bed! Don't wake him up.

I will make you some new year cakes.

Let me help you out.

How can he sleep through New Year's Day?

That good-for-nothing.

Is everyone here?

The Beggars Sect must unite to bring down Chu Mo Kei.

Therefore we need to elect a new head to lead us all.

Yu Shueng.

It's all up to you to defeat the Three Elders

and their Lotus Formation.

But I don't think I'm good enough.

Judging from my Dog-Beating Staff skills now,

I doubt that I could fare well against the Three Elders.

Take this Great Elixir Pill. It will give you a major boost.

No, this is all we have to cure your internal injuries.

I can't take this.

Don't worry!

You can ask my son to fight on your behalf.

He's a martial arts champion, and now...

Oh, no. He used to be one!

Look at him, he's so lazy.

He does nothing but sleep.

He's not even cut out to be a beggar!

Don't be so frank, okay?

And could you please keep it down?

Chan, no matter how much they look down on you,

I have faith in you.

Even though you don't fight anymore,

as long as you remember the basics,

and you put on some extra effort,

you can achieve something.

But I am weak now. I don't want to fight anymore.

Don't tell me you're so weak!

Come on, punch me!

See, that was a strong one!

Like I said, to become someone...

Never mind, let's not waste time.

Could you let me doze off a little longer?

Why did you lock me up?

Enjoy your sleep!

Son, I racked my brains just to come up with this contraption.

Now, you better work hard and brush up your Dog-Beating Staff skills!

Hey. What are you doing up there?

You said to practice Dog-Beating Staff.

Could you at least give me a staff?

Oh, I'm so sorry! Take this!

"When Heaven has a mission for you,

it will exercise your mind with labor, starvation, and suffering."

"Endless suffering." Did you write it?

I don't like to see that. You better rub it off.

Hey.

-Are you a beggar? -Yes.

Me too.

Congratulations.

-Got any food? -No.

Luckily, I do.

It's a waste that you're well-dressed but you're not out there begging.

It's none of your business.

You are too lazy to be a beggar!

No wonder your pals hate you.

I was once dignified wherever I went.

But now, I am disgraced.

At least, you were fortunate.

As for me, no one even respected me!

Listen to me. Don't go!

I remember the time when I lived in Guangdong,

someone treated me to wine and dine and hook up with girls.

What a weird man.

Hey, I remember you.

-Brat, I remember you too! -Cut the crap.

Give me back my money!

If I had money,

I wouldn't be a beggar now!

But don't worry, I owe you my gratitude.

I will repay you one day.

Thank you very much.

But even if you're rich again,

you can't buy back what you've lost!

What did I lose?

Pride and faith.

And your loved one too.

Who are you?

I am Hung Yat Sun, also going by Old Bag Sun.

I am the most senior of the beggars here.

It's good to be a beggar.

Beggars can do whatever they want.

But what about you?

Tell me, what do you want? I'll make your wish come true.

I want to be a man again.

Don't you think you're a man now?

I guess not.

That's why you end up like this.

Excellent.

I'm not going to lie to you, but overall,

you just look like a beggar from head to foot.

-So? -That means,

you will be a beggar for life.

I don't want to talk to you, I want to sleep first.

Don't go! You can rise again.

If you ask what I think,

I say you will be the king of beggars.

What do you mean, I'll be the king of beggars?

You will be a beggar.

I don't care who you are, I don't want to talk anymore.

Please go away and leave me in peace.

Buzz off!

No, I just want to sleep with you.

Idiot!

See you in your dreams, kid.

Here come the arhats who descend from heaven for you.

The Dragon Slayer, the Tiger Tamer.

So Chan, you've tasted both sides of life.

You bathed in pleasure and drowned in misery.

From that, you learn your lessons.

As the seventh-generation disciple of Hung Tsat Kung,

I dub thee the "Sleeping Arhat."

So now, I shall pass down the Sleeping Arhat Skill!

Now, make good use of it. Awaken!

Hey!

"My misery is about to end."

JUSTICE

-Long live our Lord! -Long live our Lord!

The lamb has come down to restore order on Earth.

Oh, Eternal Venerable Mother, give me the strength

to bring salvation!

Tomorrow, the emperor will go hunting.

I'll send out a fair maiden to distract him.

Yuen Ling, your mission is to seduce him tomorrow.

Yes, sir.

Once we kill the emperor,

I'll take over the throne,

and share with you some of the spoils!

-Long live our Lord! -Long live our Lord!

-Senior? -Let's head back.

Senior!

Let's go!

Senior!

After them!

Stop! The emperor is setting off soon.

You killed my woman,

so you shall be my bait for the emperor!

What? No one wants to vie for the leadership?

What about Mok Lo Sam with his Dog-Beating Stick?

What's taking Uncle Mok and your sister so long?

I don't know,

I saw them talking a while ago,

then they set off.

Don't tell me, they have an affair.

Now, we are going to elect our new leader.

Uncle Mok!

I was worried you wouldn't come back.

-How was it? Where's Yu Shueng? -Are you okay?

Chu Mo Kei caught her.

We need someone to vie for the leadership.

Who should go?

-I'll do it. -Uncle Mok.

Why don't you let me try?

Don't do it if you can't.

Chan!

You are not the Ninth Descendant. Come down.

So you've sent out a novice. I'll whip him into shape!

Chan, this is not a game!

You will get killed! Get down!

It's okay. I've given up on life already.

-Bullshit! Throw at him! -Yes!

Well, if that's what you want...

What is this?

-What the-- -He's sleeping!

Isn't this stance...

Uncle Sun's Sleeping Arhat Skills?

Formation!

Is it morning?

Sorry, guys. I've won!

So what? You don't use the Dog-Beating Stick!

You can't be our chief!

The Dog-Beating Stick...

It's for hitting dogs.

I know how to do it!

It's different, but it's powerful!

He broke the stick!

He broke the treasure of our sect. Kill him!

I am Master Hung! Who will dare to fight me?

I made the rules of the sect.

Whoever defeats the Lotus Formation,

becomes the chief!

Have you all forgotten?

We were once the greatest sect on earth

because we were united!

I left you the Dog-Beating Stick

only as a commemorative item.

It has no meaning on its own,

but you fools assumed it as treasure

and fought among yourselves!

Five years without a chief. Don't you have shame?

So Chan did you a favor by breaking the stick

so you stop fighting over it!

He may be young and unseasoned,

but he's a genius, brimming with talent!

My disciple, Hung Yat Sun is teaching him now.

So whoever goes against him goes against me too!

Not only must you honor him, but also show him some love!

You shall cherish him, care for him, and treat him for dinner often!

I may be long gone,

but I'll bless all of you from up there, for eternity!

Was it real?

You better believe it.

Master Hung's soul talked to us.

That means we are blessed!

They fell for it. I'm a genius!

Things are looking up now!

What happened?

-Hail our new chief! -Hail our new chief!

We had faith in you, so you won!

Uncle Mok, isn't my son brilliant?

I didn't think you would learn the Sleeping Arhat.

From now on, you are our new chief.

This is the book of Dragon-Subduing Stances.

And I present you the Great Elixir Pill.

May you lead the sect with wisdom.

I just want to save Yu Shueng as soon as possible.

Yu Shueng chose wisely.

Hooray to our new chief!

Uncle Mok, are you okay?

Uncle Mok!

Uncle Mok!

Chan, do you understand everything written in this book?

Are you taking me for a fool?

With the help of the Great Elixir Pill,

not only have I restored my strength, I've also increased it.

I've managed to master 17 out of the 18 stances.

But for the last stance, "The Dragon-slayer's Remorse,"

there's no picture or description of it.

I just don't get it.

But Uncle Mok is dead, what will we do now?

Just move on from that!

I have to save Yu Shueng first, no matter what.

It's the Emperor's order, to succeed no matter what!

Is the camp all set up?

-Yes, sir! -Yes, sir!

Chu Mo Kei,

why did you bring this woman here?

I know the Emperor likes fair maidens,

so I would like to present her to him as a gift.

And I would like to meet the Emperor.

His Majesty didn't call upon anyone, so don't disturb him.

Men, take this woman to the camp.

-Yes, sir! -Yes, sir!

Go.

Sir, long time no see. You look great!

You better return to your station.

And don't escape!

Yes, sir.

Your Majesty, Officer Chiu would like to present this woman to you.

A woman?

Chiu knows my hobby!

I need to take a bath. Bring her to me later.

Yes, sir.

That bastard wants to see the Emperor.

If I let him see His Majesty too often, I could lose my office.

Men!

Yes, sir?

-See what's going on! -Yes, sir!

Sir, there's a mob of people coming out of the woods!

Who are they?

I don't know!

Release the smoke signal and stay alert!

-Yes, sir! -Yes, sir!

There's smoke ahead. Brace yourselves!

-Yes, sir! -Yes, sir!

Damned beggars.

So Cha Ha Yee Chan, what on earth are you doing?

Nothing. I'm just here to beg for money.

Preposterous! Now, you're asking for it!

You're the one asking for it.

Chiu wants to stage a mutiny. He's going to assassinate the Emperor.

And you're standing there like a fool!

Who do you think you are?

How dare you falsely accuse the imperial courtier?

One step forward and I'll wipe you out!

Chan, there's so many of them. How do we beat them?

-Senior? -Yes, chief?

Where are the others?

They are on their way.

There's no time.

You stay here to wait for the others. I will go first--

-I'm coming with you! -Are you serious?

Chief, just relax and go.

You want me to die?

Do you have anything better to say than that?

Yes.

May you live a long life of bliss

As we celebrate your birthday

It falls once every year--

-That's enough. -I haven't finished.

-Carry on after I leave. -Okay.

There is smoke ahead, someone must have alarmed them.

-Prepare the Unicorn Smoke. -Yes, sir!

Let's raid the main camp!

It's a mutiny! Go call for help!

How terrible!

Terrible is the one who didn't shoot you down.

Oh, no. There's poison smoke heading toward the royal tent.

This is terrible!

Oh, no, the wind is blowing the other way!

That's good. Hey, wait up!

If the beggars don't retreat now, we will show them no mercy!

Look over there!

It's the Unicorn Smoke of the Tin Li Sect.

Relax, we can use urine to detoxify.

Everyone, let's piss!

What about me?

Relax, I'll give you some.

Come, hold it.

Charge!

What happened?

Luckily, Your Majesty, the wind blew the other way.

So the smoke is moving elsewhere.

What about our troops?

They are completely wiped out.

-Bring me my sword! -No, don't!

Stand aside, all of you!

Your Majesty, it's dangerous. Don't go!

I'm not going to sit here to die. Now, stand aside!

I said, move aside!

Don't go!

Cover me.

Chan?

Yu Shueng.

How did you get here?

It's a long story.

We set off from our base last night,

and this morning, we broke through the Great Wall.

We stopped an hour for lunch,

and I even pissed once.

-Really? -Yes.

I wanted a sweet potato, but dumplings are all we had left.

You know I don't really like dumplings.

Forgive me for my tardiness, Your Majesty.

Protect the Emperor!

-Yes, sir! -Yes, sir!

You traitor. Catch him!

Your Majesty!

Surrender your empire to me, bastard!

What did you say?

It's you!

Yes, it's me, Beggar So.

Aren't you supposed to be sleeping in your shack?

Well, I am a little bit sleepy.

The Sleeping Arhat stance?

That's right! Look at you, you look like a beggar too.

Would you like to join us?

I didn't think you would bounce back.

Yes, it's all because of you.

Is that all you got? You haven't seen mine.

Fool! No martial art technique on earth can stop me now,

except the 18 Dragon-Subduing Palms.

Eighteen Dragon-Subduing Palms, Stance Seven!

The dragon soars in the sky!

It swishes its tail, steals your heart.

Traversing the oceans and fields. The dragon dances and mingles!

We're the blessed children of the dragon, possessing the spirit of a dragon!

The end!

That's just 17 of them. What about the last one?

You can only defeat me if you've learned the 18th stance.

But you don't stand a chance.

Chan!

I got it! Just mix the 17 stances,

and that makes the 18th!

I'm one hell of a genius!

The 18th stance, The Dragon-slayer's Remorse!

Chan, are you all right?

Don't I look all right to you?

Your pose is really smart.

But you look awful!

I'm fine.

I think I can marry tonight.

Can you?

Chan! Are you okay?

-Yu Shueng! -Tsui!

Where's Chiu?

He's somewhere around here.

Is he?

He's reduced to ashes.

He's reduced to ashes? It can't be!

Chief.

We've caught all of Chiu's minions.

Thank you, my friends!

Yu Shueng.

Remember what I promised you?

Yes, that you would be a martial arts champion

who's second to no one on earth.

Too bad I failed.

Of course, I never liked champions.

I prefer beggars.

Go ahead, my boy!

Sengge Rinchen, you've really crossed the line!

For all the trouble you caused,

I sentence you to be a beggar!

It's good that you're a beggar. You're born to be one.

See you at the temple tomorrow.

Call me if anything.

Thank you for bringing me in, chief!

So Chan, what would you like as a reward?

Nothing at all?

Nothing, really. Let's go.

Carry me up.

Mr. So!

Put me down.

Although you saved me,

I'll still have you executed if you don't show respect.

Even so, you don't have to come to me like this.

It's better not to get up, or it might look ugly.

I have no disagreements with you,

so there's nothing to talk about.

But I'm rather disturbed,

seeing that you've gathered a brotherhood that comes in millions.

It wasn't me who gathered so many beggars.

You did.

What?

If you're wise enough to create a peaceful and prosperous society,

you wouldn't want to create beggars, would you?

-Makes sense, right? -The more you know.

Well,

perhaps I'll do the honor by stepping down the throne.

Sure.

-Long live the emperor! -Get up.

Hey! Remember me?

Of course, you're the beggar!

You're now using that girl to gain my favor?

Yes, if you could be so kind.

Not in a million years. Go!

You're not going anywhere.

It's an obligation!

You're begging in the emperor's name? Are you kidding me?

I'm not kidding you! Now, give me what you got.

I was unlucky to see you.

Hold it right there!

What now?

I got a family to fend here. Now, give us more!

How much?

No less than a thousand, okay?

-Say thank you to him. -Yes!

Thank you, sir!

Eat up, kids!

Come with me. Let's go!

Hurry up. I want my sweets.

Give me one too.