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1
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,080
Cos you were just like... I know, I get it.
2
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:57,600
-I love you.
-Thank you.
3
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:04,200
Far, far ago,
the ancients wrote upon the scrolls
4
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:07,120
that dark forces would sweep our realm,
5
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,720
until only Yonderland remained.
6
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,160
But they telled also of a saviour,
7
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:18,080
come from a distant world to save
us from the shadows and stuff.
8
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:23,920
"Thank you for purchasing..."
9
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,400
a yada, yada, yada, yada...
10
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,880
Or you could do that, it's cheaper.
11
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,840
"In a weird voice chant 'font of...'"
12
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,920
Font of Oris!
13
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:58,600
Grant me the power of the all-seeing eye!
14
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:03,200
Excellent! One ruined monastery.
15
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:05,400
Left a bit.
16
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,480
-I'll do it!
-No, I'll do it! Get your claws off.
17
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,920
Oooh, messy.
18
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,520
Thank you!
19
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:17,080
I baited the whole place with ogre musk.
They tore it apart!
20
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,680
Fledded? Flud? Is it flud?
21
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:42,080
Shut up!
I shall dispatch some bounty hunters
22
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,320
to tidy up any loose ends.
23
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,000
We don't need that scum, your darkness!
24
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:09,520
Ooh, yeah.
25
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:10,720
HE BREAKS WIND
26
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,560
I've got a degree.
27
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,480
Oh, termites!
28
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,160
'Ere, what you got?
29
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,960
This is a scarf.
30
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,920
Debbie gave it me, keeps your neck warm.
31
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,560
Why didn't I get a scarf?
32
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,160
Cos you don't have a neck.
33
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,840
Oh, yeah, bring that up!
34
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,760
Right, so, come on then,
what's the big secret? Where we going?
35
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,200
It's a surprise!
36
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:35,640
I know that, but tell me anyway.
37
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,680
Oh, all right.
38
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,880
Well, once every thousand years...
39
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,800
Yeah?..all the trees in
the Forest of Garvin...
40
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,920
Yeah?..in perfect unison...
41
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,200
Yes?
42
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,960
..yawn.
43
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:54,640
When this place gets an Imax,
it's going to blow...your...minds!
44
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:15,840
Can't see that ending badly - for a stick.
45
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,200
HE GROANS
46
00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:18,520
Is it OK?
47
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:22,240
Erm, well, put it this way,
if anyone asks...
48
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:23,360
he was on camera!
49
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,040
I was not on camera, you was on camera!
50
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,160
No, you was on camera!
51
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,400
No, I'm not listening.
52
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,400
Tell me,
did your mother smell of dead sea birds?
53
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,600
-What?!
-Did she stink?
54
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,400
Have weight issues? Body hair?
55
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:25,040
Was she fat and ugly,
your mother...who I presume is dead?
56
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,800
'And then, for some reason,
he became angered.'
57
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,680
I know not how he sleeps at night.
58
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:47,520
SNORING
59
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,600
I mean clearly he's wrong in the head.
60
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:52,320
But this whole honesty
thing won't have helped.
61
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,040
You just come across as rude.
62
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,440
How so, woman-clearly-nearing-40?
63
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,680
What do you mean 40?! I'm 33!
64
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:22,280
Apart from brothers Kevin,
Carl, Robert and Colin.
65
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:24,760
And Jamaal.
66
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,800
This isn't surviving. You're dying.
67
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,760
Mm. All very sad.
Anyway, about this yawning...
68
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,320
No, no, we can't just leave them.
They need help.
69
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:33,880
Word will have reached the Elders.
70
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,120
They'll be planning a rescue as we speak.
71
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,560
Well, am I a vegetable then?!
72
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:39,720
No.
73
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,840
Then I must be a mineral!
74
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:42,960
No.
75
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,560
Oh, for the love of the Gods,
it's been three hours!
76
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,280
OK, OK, let's just play a different game.
77
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,120
We have everything we need -
78
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,200
shelter...
79
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,280
a well, a toilet.
80
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,480
I thought that was the well.
81
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,480
And what about food? You're starving.
82
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:37,880
The truth sustains us.
83
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,080
And crisps.
84
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,760
where the moon lives under the water.
85
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,320
You mean... Atherley?
86
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,400
Atherley.
87
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,960
Yes, the birthplace of our founder.
88
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:26,160
Hang on, we can't just saunter
down to Atherley with this lot...
89
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,240
They're wanted men.
What if we're stopped, questioned?
90
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,960
So...are you monks?
91
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,080
Yes!
92
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,080
Do you know what? Just don't talk.
93
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,560
Going to be easier.
94
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,920
Here we go again.
95
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,800
No, it's a flutterbug.
96
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,600
No, it's a swivel chair.
97
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,600
No, it's a flutterbug.
98
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,520
I've got a name, you know!
99
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,120
It's Kieran.
100
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,960
SHE GASPS
101
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,840
Prayer beads.
102
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,600
The monks, they're alive. This way.
103
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:29,000
What monks are these then?
-Seriously? -Hmm.
104
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,440
Well, don't just stand there.
105
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,040
Or do you want some bounty hunter
to become Minion of the Month?!
106
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:35,200
Come on.
107
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,440
Tree!
108
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,560
-Correct.
-Yes!
109
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,520
So the opposite of what we want.
110
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,560
Can we talk about this later please?
I think we should! And the rest.
111
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:44,520
Right. Have any of you seen the
following people-slash-creatures?
112
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,080
The Lizard Man of Corn Coppice? Hmm?
113
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:53,000
That's a no.
114
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:57,040
The Little Chefs?
115
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,840
Friends of yours, little man?
116
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,840
Er, yeah, cos we're all the same...
117
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:05,560
Careful!
118
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:09,320
What about...the Monks of Truth?
119
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:13,840
We are...
120
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:17,760
Estate agents! Aren't you?
121
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,160
Um...
122
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,880
Fair enough! All right, be on your way.
123
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,200
There you are - Atherley.
124
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,000
Atherley.
125
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,080
Where the moon lives under the water!
126
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,880
Last one to the temple is
physically the slowest!
127
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,360
Have they gone?
128
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,280
I think so, yeah.
129
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,240
So, sorry, you were saying...
130
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:02,600
Oh, right, yeah - basically,
it's a chain of roadside diners.
131
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,080
OK. Go on...
132
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,080
Yes. Know you of him?
133
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:05,440
Well, such truth and wisdom
must have left an indelible...
134
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,080
What?
135
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,280
But he brought forth truth
into a world of lies.
136
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,240
Karen! Table.
137
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,720
So, it was all just...
138
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,280
Lies.
139
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:17,480
I never thought I'd say this,
but the truth hurts.
140
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,680
Yes! Exactly. Sometimes it does.
141
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,600
But now you see that, you've got a choice.
142
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:25,280
If the truth is going to hurt someone,
why not...?
143
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,400
Quick! Hide!
144
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,400
Ah, get out the way, ah, move...
145
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,080
Mind it, lanky.
146
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:42,720
You don't look...local.
147
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:47,880
Quite the opposite.
In fact, you look...distant.
148
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,520
Hang on...
149
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,640
Who are you?
150
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,680
Ay! She asked you a question.
151
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:55,840
Yeah.
152
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,200
We are...
153
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,000
Yes...
154
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,320
We are...
155
00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:03,800
Yes?
156
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,840
Estate Agents!
157
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,600
Yes, Estate Agents!
158
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,760
Let's try the next village -
they can't have got far.
159
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,120
Excuse me.
160
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,000
Four large drinks please, barman!
161
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,720
It's so nice to see you
doing something you love.
162
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,800
Aw! Thanks chuchiface!
163
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,480
Oh careful, don't get tea on your suit.
164
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,120
Don't worry, I've got lots of suits.
165
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:27,440
So, what do we do with our lives,
now the truth no longer binds us?
11231
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