Original subtitles

A NETFLIX SERIES

The number you have called is unavailable.

Please leave a message after the beep.

See, I decided to call you in the end.

STOP

I spent ages wondering whether to call just to get your voice mail.

I haven't heard from you in two weeks, so I thought, "I'll call."

"He can't have seen my messages on Insta or Grindr."

I know you're busy with work and don't check them.

I forget not everyone's like me.

I can't stand a red notification on my screen.

Those bastards make them red so you can't ignore them.

Show me your inbox, and I'll tell you what you're like.

You're one of those people with 340 unread messages

and no spam filter.

I know you don't reply straight away.

That's why I WhatsApped you.

And I know you read them. There's a double tick next to them all.

All 23 of them.

And you still won't reply.

Which is weird as the last few weeks weren't like that, right?

-Are you calling that dick Lolo? -No.

I loved it when you'd send me a photo and I'd guess where you were.

-I made lentils. -I'm on a diet.

Always dieting, always want seconds.

You'd send me a photo at any time, day or night.

And the game was on.

WHERE AM I?

I'd ask you questions

and you could only answer "Yes" or "No."

-A PUBLIC RESTROOM? -YES

-IN THE CITY CENTER? -YES

We could spend an hour playing.

THE FNAC RESTROOM?

I was so happy.

YES

Especially with the last question.

You always sent the same reply.

Mom, what are you doing?

You're always tapping, like a bird on a glass roof.

I remember when you sent the photo of the wall.

A random brick wall, no other clue.

WHERE AM I?

I replied straight away.

I got it right the first time.

AT YOUR HOUSE

I recognized the wall in your room.

And you said, "This is magic."

And it was.

It was. For a while, it was.

The next day, you made me breakfast, and I ate your madeleines with jam.

Me! I don't even eat sugar. I prefer toast,

but I didn't want to destroy the magic that was still there.

I sent you a message as soon as I left.

A very simple message.

A smile.

SEARCH EMOJIS FREQUENTLY USED

A smiley.

And with a smiley, I was telling you that I wanted to do it again the next day.

I already missed you,

that I had finally found someone I fit with.

Someone I felt sexy, funny, witty with,

who laughed at the same things as me.

Someone I didn't have to pretend loved me for who I really am.

Someone I could look and laugh at my childhood photos with

and say, "You're even more handsome now."

And think, "He'll still be telling me this in five, ten, twenty years."

Someone to imagine the corniest things ever with

and deep down wish that they'd actually happen someday.

I said all of that to you with a smiley.

You could have replied in many ways.

There's an infinite number of keyboard combinations

to just say one thing,

"I feel the same."

But you never did.

You know the worst thing?

One day we'll bump into each other, and I'll smile so I don't seem bitter,

and you'll say, "I'd rather be friends and not ruin things with a relationship."

And all the bullshit guys like you make up

so you can fuck one guy, then another, another,

and then complain, "No one finds their perfect guy."

Am I the perfect guy? I don't know.

But I could be the one who loves you.

But you treated him like shit

because the asshole believed for a few moments

that all this was really magic.

So you can go fuck yourself.

You, your phone, your magic,

and your fucking inedible madeleines with jam, you prick.

SUNYER ARCHITECTS

Long message. Who was it?

I have no idea.

-It wasn't for you? -Don't know.

A hysterical guy yelling at his boyfriend about...

industrial pastries. I didn't really understand.

If you were anyone else, I'd think you'd broken his heart and forgotten.

I've broken lots of hearts.

But I remember them all. Why are you laughing?

You mean,

you remember none!

-I think it was a case of crossed wires. -No way.

That's only in Howard Hawks' movies.

Like, "Operator? There's a lady calling from Seattle who lost her dog."

-That doesn't happen anymore. -It's weird to call the wrong number.

He used a landline.

He must've dialed the wrong number.

-Why would anyone do that? -Sunyer's waiting for you.

-I don't think he's in a good mood. -Oh great.

Have you called a guy from a landline so he didn't know it was you?

Yes. Once.

When I was 15. Typical girlish reaction.

-Why? -Never mind. Thanks.

-Thanks, Lis. -Welcome.

Your stranger is very mature. So mature.

Would it be weird if I called him?

-Why would you do that? -I don't know.

Maybe he regrets what he said to his boyfriend.

So he'd be able to pretend it never happened.

-It'd be like time traveling. -Right.

What do you always say about time travel movies?

-Changing the past fucks things up. -Exactly.

But listen, I'd want a return call telling me about my mistake.

Didn't you say he was hysterical?

When he wasn't yelling, he seemed nice. He said he believed in love.

-Don't project. -I'm not.

-Yes, you are. -No, I'm not.

You are. You're getting carried away.

It'd be easy for you to hook up with Ramón.

-No fucking way. -What?

-No. -He's our best architect.

-So? -He's had a crush on you forever.

I'm not hooking up with a co-worker,

especially one who collects Pokémon at 35.

Very well. Maybe your mystery man collects dead bodies!

-You are so dramatic. -Dramatic?

Delete it and forget about him.

By the way, tomorrow's dinner is a costume party.

-I don't think I can go. -No. Don't be a party pooper.

Bruno. Bayona, Sauquillo, Oyarzabal are going.

-It's been... -Oyarzabal!

There's a reason we haven't seen our classmates in ten years.

I haven't been out in ten months, not even for a sparkling water.

You can go alone. I don't think anyone'll miss me.

-I'll miss you, Bruno. -You see me every day.

But not partying like we used to. Don't you remember, Bruno?

How much fun we used to have. Don't you want to relive that?

-Not even for one night? -I want to enjoy my Sunday.

Please.

Just dinner.

-Awesome! -That's all.

-The theme is "famous architects." -Who came up with that?

-Me! -No shit.

Don't pick Gaudi. He's mine.

Good morning!

Is it?

You're so nice, you always end up with assholes.

-It's just bad luck. -Bad luck?

-It's always the same. -It's my fault?

Do you want to go through a list of your exes?

I'd rather be friends

and not ruin things with a relationship.

You get it, don't you?

Couples break up eventually, but friendship is forever.

Monogamy is for repressed people. It just makes you unhappy.

Is that what you want? Being tied to someone forever?

We'll get bored in bed, and then what?

Let's be friends.

-Let's be friends. -Let's be friends.

Let's be friends.

But if you want, we can still fuck. I have a great time with you.

-See a pattern? -Yes, they're all bastards.

-Bastards with perfect abs. -So?

If you keep doing the same thing, you'll get the same result.

Einstein said so.

-Patri, it's me! -Close your eyes!

Cut the crap. Come on, I'm with Álex.

Close your eyes or I won't let you in.

-Are you ready? -Yes, you're so annoying!

One, two, three!

The parquet is cute, isn't it?

I just need to do the small room and that's it.

-It's great, right? -Right?

Does it smell a bit funny or is it me?

I burned some white sage to cleanse the energy in the apartment.

Yes. It's really clean, yeah.

This isn't the floor we chose.

-But you liked it the most. -And it's the most expensive.

We can't go over budget, Patri.

Oh, my love, don't be a party pooper.

If you don't like it, why leave me in charge?

-When are you moving in? -The developer says January.

Yes. Hopefully your friend will have cheered up by then.

I am cheerful.

I know what'll cheer you up! Follow me!

You already brought it.

A plant is the first thing that goes into a new apartment.

And you put a plaque on it!

VERO AND PATRICIA SEVEN YEARS GROWING TOGETHER

Welcome to our new life, my love.

Hello?

-I can't talk now. -Do you like it?

I'm sure you'll be super happy here.

Now it's your turn.

They won't give me a mortgage.

I don't mean an apartment.

Yes, I'm with her.

If you want, come by the bar tonight.

Okay. Me too.

See you later. Bye.

Puchi?

Hey! Who's this cutie? Did you take a nap in daddy's bed?

Let me see.

You must be exhausted.

Hey, you're so cute, I could eat you up.

SWEETIE, 250 M AWAY WRITE MESSAGE

HEY

JUST ME 34, 160 M AWAY WRITE MESSAGE

HEY

Hi. Hey, how are you?

-Hi, honey. -What's up?

-Hey. -How are my little birds?

-Sick and tired of you being late. -Oh, I'm sorry.

I had to attend to a matter of the utmost importance.

Hold on to your wigs!

-Jingle bells, jingle bells... -No!

-Oh, what fun it is to ride... -No.

No. No decorations.

Sacrilege, my dear.

-I'm serious. This is tacky. -Where's your holiday spirit?

Leave it, hon. Lesbians don't have any.

They lose it when they eat their first pussy.

But don't worry, I'm here to save Christmas.

Javi, I'm serious. We spent loads decorating the bar.

Now you want to ruin it with crap.

I spent a lot!

-You didn't contribute much. -Not true.

-That's not true? -No.

If it were up to her, it'd be like Maleficent's castle.

Sometimes I think she's like a dog. Everything is black and white.

Let's stop arguing. Votes in favor?

Attention, s'il vous plait.

Ten points go to tinsel.

I'll get the tree tomorrow.

-No. No trees. -Sorry, sweetheart.

Welcome to the "gayarchy."

No, Javi, no.

Álex's vote doesn't count. He's not a partner.

What do you mean?

Next time, you're on my side.

I'll be right back. Cover me?

Who's that?

No idea.

Sorry for being so persistent. I know what I want.

I'm very flattered, really.

So what's the problem?

If she loves you, she'll be happy for you.

She'll see it as a betrayal.

Isn't betraying yourself worse?

Look, what about this?

I'll leave you the contract. Read it properly,

and give me your answer tomorrow.

Give me a few days.

I can't. We have to get it done before Christmas.

Don't let me down.

It's a chance of a lifetime.

That bastard Lolo not shown any signs of life?

After my message, he must have blocked me, even on LinkedIn.

Don't worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

You won't have a problem catching a tuna with a good belly.

-It's not that easy. -Don't be silly.

Most of our customers would give an arm and a leg to be with you.

Not to be with me, to fuck me.

Oh, yes, poor thing, you're right. What a pity. It must be really hard.

You know what I mean.

Look, kid, half a loaf is better than none at all.

Not a loaf. A nice baguette.

CONNECTED NOW 160 METERS AWAY

STOP SAYING HEY, YOU BORE.

I WOULDN'T HOOK UP WITH YOU EVEN IF I WAS ON GHB.

DELETE GRINDR? DELETE

VOICE MAIL DECEMBER 9, 2022, 11:05

Wasn't everything easier before?

You met a guy, fucked, met up again, got together, if you got each other.

If straight people do it...

We should be able to do it too.

I have loads of friends who've been together for years.

-Open relationships. -Not all of them.

Lesbians don't count.

No? Well then, yes, all of them.

Bar Bero.

Hello?

Hi. Hi, yeah, sorry.

Look, you don't know me, but it's...

Well, I'm calling because I got your message.

About the madeleines.

I didn't know whether to call because you seemed angry,

but after what you said,

there's something important you should know.

You called the wrong number.

You're wrong, Bruno.

I don't know why you ask my opinion if you always follow your knob.

Knob!

Kids!

Albert!

It's on a door. They can say "knob."

Honestly.

Let me get this straight. You called a guy you don't know at all?

And he turned out to be nice.

Bruno.

Nice to meet you. My name is Álex.

Well, Álex, this relationship didn't work out,

but there'll be others.

Just my luck.

Sorry?

Sorry. It's just the guy I met before this one was great.

He was gorgeous. He was hot, nice, affectionate,

well put together. I thought I hit the jackpot.

-What happened? -One day he asked me to choke him.

When he was about to come, he wanted me to choke him like I was going to kill him.

Well, to each their own, I guess.

That's what I thought. But after that, it was the only way he could come.

What can I say? It's not nice choking your partner every day.

Especially at the start, right?

Imagine later, when you actually had a reason to want to kill him.

When I broke up with him, he told me I was a bigot and a homophobe.

Similar thing happened to me with a guy who wanted me to piss on him.

I've never drunk that much beer in my life.

-So you broke up with him? -No. He dumped me.

He told me it was too small.

Your dick?

My bladder! He said my stream didn't last long enough.

-Dick! -Bruno!

-Sorry. -Seriously.

They don't know what it means.

Here, you try. It's impossible.

You two, go brush your teeth.

No, I want to know how Uncle Bruno's story ends.

Badly, as usual.

Hey!

Sorry, but it does, doesn't it?

Almost all the guys I hook up with either won't commit,

are in an open relationship, or cheat.

And I don't want that.

So, you're a romantic?

-Aren't you? -No.

I just want to be happy.

Do you know about the red thread of destiny?

-No. -Okay.

It's an ancient Japanese legend that says an invisible red thread

binds people who are destined to be together.

It says we all have one tied around our pinkie that can never be broken...

-But how do you know it's red? -What?

If it's invisible, nobody knows what color it is.

-It's ridiculous, isn't it? -Yes, but it's a legend.

-It shouldn't be taken literally. -But you believe it.

Yes. Well, okay. Yeah.

Okay.

I think it's a beautiful metaphor.

Knowing there's someone out there

who might be the most important person in my life.

It gives me hope for the future.

I think you're the romantic here.

Don't you think it's beautiful?

Are you on Instagram?

-No. -Hang up, dickhead. I need help.

Twitter?

-Nope, sorry. -Facebook?

-Nothing. -Grindr?

I deleted everything.

Why do you ask?

Well, to meet up.

No problem for me.

Yeah, but I don't know what you look like.

Yeah, I don't know what you look like either.

True.

-Do you know Bar Bero? -Which barber?

No, Bar Bero.

It used to be a barbershop, and now it's a bar.

Oh yes, I know it.

I work there.

You have a blind date?

-Yes. -How cool! When?

Later. I'm taking a book so he recognizes me.

Wait. This evening? What about our reunion dinner?

I'll make it, don't worry.

Isn't it a bit risky? What if he's crazy?

Not you too. Look, I've got a good feeling.

I'll go, we'll have a beer, that's it.

What's the worst that can happen?

What do you feed this baby, plutonium? Don't laugh.

Stop.

I'll give you one of mine.

No, it's fine. It'll be too big.

What? We're the same size.

We were, Albert. We were. Past tense.

I'd like to see you in my shoes with three kids.

I wish.

Don't be ridiculous.

Come on, man. If... The closest I get to sex

is jerking off in the bathroom while the kids watch Dora the Explorer.

I've come more with her than Núria lately.

-What? -Seriously.

When I hear her voice, I get a hard-on. Pavlovian style.

You'll have more time for yourselves with the new nanny.

Unless it's Mary Poppins.

Right, I'm going home to change.

Yes.

-See you at the restaurant at nine. -Yes.

-Don't forget your costume. -Bye, Núria.

-You're leaving? -I'm going home to change.

Kids, say goodbye to Uncle Bruno.

Bye.

Behave. Eat up.

Enjoy your date.

-Let us know how it goes. -Will do. Bye.

I'll buy the sea bass tomorrow and freeze it.

The prices are crazy during the holidays.

They're fishery prices, not ours, hon.

-Shall I add some sardines? -No, just this.

Have you heard about Ramiro?

Montse's daughter says he was in the neighborhood.

Sure it was him?

Didn't he stop by?

Well, I'll leave you in good company.

-Save me a good sea bass, okay? -Bye.

I'll save you the best one.

Anything else?

Leaving already? Stay.

I can't. I have a date. And I wanted to go home first.

A date? What do I tell Ibra now?

Who's Ibra?

The new guy who works at Mercedes' greengrocer's.

Dark, slim...

He looks like a Watusi. Lovely eyes!

What did you do?

Me? Nothing!

Well...

he might have seen a photo of you, by accident.

I was looking at my phone with Mercedes, on that Insta... What's it called?

-You have Instagram? -I saw your profile.

He was there, so I said, "Isn't my son handsome?"

You can't show my photos...

Ibra's hardworking and cute. I'm sure you'll like him.

Look. Ibra!

-Come here. -Mom, please.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Rosa.

This is my son, Álex.

-Hey. -How are you?

I'm Ibra.

-Your mom talks about you a lot. -Too much, sometimes.

-Why don't you go for a drink? -Mom.

-And chat about things. -Please ignore her.

-I have to work at the moment. -Pity.

I'll give you his number, and you can meet later.

-What do you think? -Yes, fine.

-See you later, Álex. -Bye.

What?

Don't I have a good eye?

I know your type. Your aunt says he has a girlfriend, but I don't think so.

-He's straight? -He can't be. He's too handsome.

If anything, he's "bilingual."

"Bilingual". Come here, I'll call you tomorrow.

-Bye, Auntie. -Bye, take care.

I don't get you!

Say what you want. I don't get you.

Maybe you'd get me if you listened.

-Still arguing about decorations? -What decorations?

She's quitting. She's leaving the bar.

Ignore him. I'm not going anywhere.

She's been offered a position as a VIP manager in Amnesia.

-You're moving to Ibiza? -No. I've not accepted it yet.

But she will. Of course she will!

Just look at that sly look on her face.

Damn it, Javi. It's a few months in the summer.

Think about the publicity for the bar and the contacts I'll make.

See? She can already see herself working there!

I shouldn't have said anything.

How did you think I'd react, Vero?

You convinced me not to sell the shop and turn it into a bar.

We're up to our necks in debt!

Now you're leaving me high and dry?

The bar's making a profit.

Business is good.

It's okay if I leave for a few months.

Don't you see? It isn't just a business, Vero.

It's our dream.

Yours and mine.

But obviously it's not enough for you now, is it?

Javi...

Going to tell me off too?

Is this really what you want?

I've dreamed of a job like this my whole life.

We agreed I'd be on your side next time, right?

What does Patri think?

I haven't told her yet. I don't know how she'll take it.

I know.

Does Daddy look good? Yeah?

Be good, Puchi. I love you.

Why didn't you pick up?

Because it's the weekend?

-I can't find the project. -Which one?

Ours. The Arnau Theater.

The city wants it on Monday, and I can't find the render.

-It must be on the server. -It's not.

All I can find is version 4, version 4 final,

version 4 final approved, version 4 final approved def.

-And version 4 final approved def def? -There is no def def.

I think I deleted it by mistake.

Is it in the recycle bin?

Tell me you didn't empty the server's recycle bin again.

It frees up space.

No, the icons trigger your OCD,

then this happens.

Tell me you saved it locally.

I guess. I'll send it tomorrow.

-Can you check now? -No, I have to go.

-Please, it'll take five minutes. -No.

Please.

Come in. Quickly! Come on.

Hello, Rosa.

Don't tell me you've forgotten my name.

Ramiro.

Who's this mystery man?

I don't know. He didn't say much, but his voice made me trust him.

You didn't even see a photo?

-So you can recognize him? -I decided to listen to Newton.

-Einstein. -Whatever.

Keena!

-What's he waiting for? -I'll go.

Keena!

Excuse me.

Keena!

Keena, your audience is waiting.

Coming, turn on the music.

Keena!

Excuse me.

Keena!

Guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

Let me introduce the one and only, Keena Mandrah!

Keena!

Thank you!

That's enough.

You'll wear my name out! Yes, Keena Mandrah, that's me.

Welcome to Bar Bero, everyone.

You know we don't style hair here.

But you might be flipped the bird if you don't behave.

I'm talking about you, hon. I know what you're like.

Oh, so many new faces.

What's your name, honey?

-Me? -Yes, you.

-Modesto. -Beg your pardon?

-Modesto. -Oh, Modesto.

Do you always speak so softly or are you living up to your name?

-You're too far away. -Too far...

Not as far as you are from your dreams.

My girls!

The women's section. You're late, my darlings.

My short-haired girls.

They went to the same salon.

-Hi, my love. -Where they style hair with a drill.

-Beers all round? -I fancy a cocktail.

Starting off strong.

Well, we're celebrating your new floor.

-Any excuse, hey? -Yes, of course.

-So, four gin and tonics? -Yes.

-Okay. -Okay.

Which pound did you escape from, honey?

Cala Calobra.

What's that? Sounds like a Harry Potter spell.

A village in Ibiza.

Ibiza! I knew Ibiza would come up tonight.

Ibiza. The pearl of the Mediterranean.

Europe's biggest club.

Why are you here when you could be in Es Cavallet surrounded by hot guys?

Who fooled you, child?

I'd rather be here with you!

How cute?

What a surprise.

Your mom told me you work here.

No kidding.

-What can I get you? -A beer for now.

Later, we'll see.

I wish everyone shared your opinion, love.

I say this because my friend is doing the opposite.

She's going to work in Ibiza,

and she's going to abandon poor Keena,

leaving me alone, lost,

in the city, evicted like a stray bitch.

Alone!

No, don't hold it against her.

I was angry at first, too,

because I'm an ass.

Because I love her very much.

Very much.

More than she can imagine.

That's why I have no right to stand in the way of her happiness.

I want to apologize for my behavior earlier.

I'm really sorry.

I wish you the best in this next stage of your life, Vero.

I wish you the best.

A round of applause for Amnesia's new VIP manager, Vero!

You got this, honey!

Congrats, my darling! I hope you'll be happy.

Patri. Patri, wait.

Shit. Patri!

Don't let it be him.

Shit.