Original subtitles

Hey.

Shit.

Thought it was a real cop.

Hang on, baby.

Someone hasn't returned Young Guns II.

Chavez E. Chavez...

I was him when we played Young Guns.

That Lou Diamond. He's Native.

He's not Native.

- Yeah, he is. - No, he's not.

Lady. Gentlemen. Shut up. Okay?

Also, uh, a Criterion edition of Robocop

hasn't been returned to Bronco Video

and Roger Butler's about to lose his shit.

He's always about to lose his shit.

Keep an eye out, all right?

Also, some shitass has been tagging all the bus stops

with "Land Back" and dicks and boobs.

It's all those shitasses in the village.

Billy Jack.

It's Willie Jack.

Jackin' off idiots is what they are.

Keep an eye out, all right?

Also, a shipment of catfish has been stolen from Cleo's.

I think it's methheads.

And it seems to happen every six months.

Big.

Aho.

Why don't you go talk to the zombies

down at the scrapyard?

Well, give it to Chubbs.

I gotta follow up on a Bigfoot sighting outside of town.

What?

On your way out to the forest,

why don't you stop off at the scrapyard, okay?

Bigfoot can help you out there.

Big, I got a question.

Do Bigfoot's bocos and hvshwv just dangle out in the open?

Or do they tuck up inside like a dog's?

Shit, you gonna be making jokes when you see one.

Yep. Keep fucking around,

you're gonna get slapped with a Bigfoot hvsh.

- Really? - Easy, easy.

Also, I told you about that field of catfish heads.

Probably connected.

Easy with the conspiracy theories today.

All right? You think everything's connected.

Oh, 'cause everything is. Shit.

Oh, tradition stuff.

Hush now.

- Here. - Mm-hmm.

Aho.

- Hey. - Hey.

Mind if I join?

- Go ahead. - What's up?

Yeah, Kenny Boy, my man,

it's all science.

And numbers.

What about the spirit? I'm not in it for the party.

You ever done DMT?

Not lately.

First time I did that,

felt like a membrane made of

the softest female legs laid on me.

You should try laying on a real woman.

They're-they're pretty soft. Bouncy, too.

Kenny Boy.

We got company.

That tribal cop.

- Damn. - What?

Looking for the two-dick sculpture maker, I suppose.

Two-dick what?

- Sculpture. - Maker.

Should I be worried?

You might turn the LSD/Ayahuasca label

and face it the other way.

That's a pretty good start.

You guys suck.

You know, the second time I did DMT...

I shot high above this

- neon city... - That's great.

Give your gums a rest, there, Joe Rogan. Here he is.

Aho.

Don't speak Klingon.

- Ah, good one. - Uh-huh.

- It's Navajo. - Oh, shit.

Thought you was clearing your throat.

In reverse.

Humor. I love it.

Our people have always used laughter as a way

to get through the hard times.

- Uh-huh. - Ain't that right, shik'is?

Fuck, quit speaking Navajo, Kenny Boy. Shit.

Wow. Just like the priests at the boarding school.

You gonna wash my mouth out with soap as well?

Aw, Jesus.

Look...

Cleo reported a shipment of catfish stolen.

I'm just wondering if y'all heard anything.

Sadly, no.

But, uh, might have a number for you, someone...

that deals in the aquatic under-beings.

Fly.

Good. Look it up.

Oh, don't mind if I do.

Oh...

Ooh-yah.

That's organtic.

Mm. Ai-yah.

I think I need to leave.

What?

- Yeah, uh... - What?

Hey.

There is no word

in the Native tongue for "goodbye."

Only "see you later."

So understand me in English:

Adios, Big.

What the fuck you talking about?

Well, we, um...

we dosed those.

You what?

Dosed? What...

What does that mean?

Huh?

There was a-a rave community.

Some young'uns who like to party in the woods.

Dog collars and shit.

We usually make a mean buck off them,

selling energy drinks dosed with my brother's own

special blend of psychedelics.

Wait.

Did I drink one with drugs in it?

This is where the plot thickens, my friend.

I ain't never done no fucking drugs!

Well...

Now, the best way to...

- You fucks! - Damn!

He scurries like a little mouse.

Come on.

Just put on some music!

It's of no use.

It's already in your system, man.

Oh...

Hey, take it easy, man.

You're in America.

You're in America.

Trip in beauty, my friend.

Away, cvpon.

Away.

Oh, God.

I'm a good person.

I don't do drugs.

Ahoy.

Oh, shit...

That's crazy.

- Fly... - It's hitting him hard.

- Fly. - He was hungry for it.

Get out of the way!

I'll join you, brother!

Noble brother.

Mom would be proud.

For the oyate.

Don't fight it, Neej!

Fear is the mind-killer.

Ah...

Oh. There you are.

Hello, me.

Nice to see ya.

Ah.

Ha!

Where are you, brother?

Ah. Ah.

It's rainbows!

You're my pot of gold!

Big. Are you watching this?

If not, I'm gonna put it on one of my stories.

- Ta-da! - You can change it now.

Hey, now. No white women for you.

What do you think?

What's the matter, Big?

What are you afraid of?

Big.

What are you doing?

Nothing, Grandma.

Are you on drugs?

Oh, no, Grandma.

Oh, don't lie to me. I can always tell when you been lyin'.

Oh, no, I swear.

Uh... I'm a good boy.

I need some cigarettes, Big.

Okay, I can, I can go get 'em.

Uh... But you...

you should quit smoking, though.

Mm. You're gonna die from it.

Don't tell me what to do, shitass.

I know what you did.

You do?

You haven't been a shitass like your father...

No.

Wait, wait.

You know what I can do, don't you?

Yeah. Yeah.

Ah! Ah!

Little water to wake you up.

Yeah. Hey, look, I'm awake.

I'm awake, too.

- Is it... - That'll cool your mind down.

Is it over?

- Is it over? Is it over? - Uh...

I seriously doubt that it's over.

I'm sure you probably just hit your first peak.

This is my brother's batch,

and there is a lot of peaks, but,

you know, it's an up and down ride.

Whoa.

Whoa-ho.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Trees are our friends.

The reets... the roots go deep.

The roots go deep.

Lookit.

I love it here.

Oh, man.

Whoa.

Light.

Light will help us grow.

Oh, man...

Oh. Oh.

It's no time for ceremony.

Look at the flower.

Look, look, look.

Look.

Look at that shine.

Take that in.

Oh, wow.

Man.

- Uh... - They dangle and sing.

Ah...

This is life.

Holy shit.

- Hi, sky. - Hi, sky.

Sky's your friend.

Ah. Ah...

- Ah, me. - I think I came.

Not gonna lie.

This is much stronger than my brother's last batch.

I don't do fucking drugs, you shitasses.

Taking you all to fucking jail after this, you hear me?

Ours! Ours! Ours!

I hear it, too, if you were wondering.

Ours! Ours! Ours!

We are here.

Sons of grandsons.

The old ones who settled this land.

This land, our birthright,

our land!

Ours! Ours! Ours!

Holy fuck, these some strong-ass drugs.

No. This is real.

This is as real as it gets.

Do ye give ye seed for our land?

Oh, shit.

- I know what this is. - Ours! Ours! Ours!

- White people. - Uh...

I heard about this.

I didn't think it was real.

It's the Order of the Midstreamers.

- The Klan? - No.

Okies, oil execs, politicians.

Secret society.

Said to believe they're the rightful heirs

of all Indian Territory

and all the mineral rights beneath the ground.

Few people went missing back in the day.

Ah. Sacrifice.

Shit, they went dormant for decades now.

This doesn't look too dormant.

It looks like some sort of initiation.

How do you know so much about this?

Well, shit, YouTubes.

Now, commence with the ritual.

Whoa...

Oh, that's some fucking sick fuckers. Look at 'em.

With the blood of the earth,

let this seal the bond between us.

For it is all ours!

Ours! Ours! Ours!

Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours!

- Ours! - Ours!

Fuckin' white people.

Why just the bodies?

If you've ever

put your hand down the business end of a catfish,

you know to just cut that head off.

Im-Imagine what it would do to...

Cover me.

- Where you going? - I'm pretty sure there's a law

against fucking fish carcasses.

What the...

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Lighthorseman!

Take the masks off and put your hands in the air.

Now you four, get on the ground, you nasty fuckers.

Everyone, masks off!

That's right, you degenerates.

This is Indian Territory.

The Muscogee reservation.

The fuck is wrong with you guys?

Is this part of the initiation?

No, shitass.

This is real life.

And that's a tribal cop.

Which is barely a real cop.

Sort of a kind of a cop.

I'm gonna put my real foot

up your ass if you're not careful.

That's a burn right there.

You... are making

a big mistake.

Holy shit.

Governor Wilson.

Oh, this some real Scooby-Doo shit.

You nasty fucker.

You don't know what you're dealing with here.

- Fish fucking. - Uh-huh.

Is what it looks like, scumbags.

Don't you have any reverence for nature and its peoples?

Water and land? The four-leggeds and the no-leggeds?

Our God has given us this land

to do with as we will, because the Native will not!

He's too precious

and too reverent.

The earth is a whore,

and it is our will to take her.

Yeah!

Shut your mouth, filthy fish fucker.

- Earth is not a whore! - Chill out, Kenny.

And if it was, you guys are paying for that.

- And we're the pimp and you're going down! - Ken-Ken... Kenny Boy.

- Chill out. I got this. - Drop it.

- Huh? - Drop it.

- Aw, shit. - Drop it.

Turn around.

Dumbass.

Ours!

Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours!

Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours!

Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours!

Cookie.

Little.

Where you coming from?

- Toilets. - Ah.

Just having a few cold ones, huh?

- A few. - Yeah?

Need a ride home?

Nah. I'm good.

I got a sober hand driving me home.

Plus, I'm right down the road.

All right. Well, you get home safely, okay?

Will do.

Ha, ha.

He look buzzed up to you?

Yeah. He stumbled in and reeks.

Keep it.

Hey!

Damn it, Cookie.

Be cool, be cool. Act sober.

Hey. Cookie.

Shit.

Thought it was a real cop.

Hang on, baby.

I'm not a good man, Kenny Boy.

- Nonsense. - No.

I fucked up.

Nah.

We didn't know they had security.

No, it's not that.

I failed some friends of mine.

And I couldn't stop it, Kenny Boy.

You're only human.

I let two people die.

And I knew their whole families, Kenny Boy.

- Let it out. - Why?

Oh, why did that happen, though? Why?

- Those were my friends, Kenny Boy. - Shit happens.

- Shut the fuck up. - You shut the fuck up.

Kenny Boy,

- uh... - What?

I owe you an apology.

You don't owe me anything.

You're a good man.

Hey.

Can I call you "brother"?

Um...

Yeah.

But just don't do it in front of

any of my friends, okay?

Hey! Who are...

What the...

What's going on?

I don't know.

What a surprise, Kenny Boy.

Yá'át'ééh, Deer Lady.

You been good?

No.

But I'm trying.

Wait, wait, wait.

I-Is this for real?

It's all real.

H-How... how'd you know I was in trouble?

Mm. Cookie told me.

Oh...

You take care of yourself.

And keep being good.

Okay.

- You, too. - All right.

She's a good woman.

Dispatch, this is Big.

Officer needs assistance, Dispatch, over.

This is Dispatch, where you at?

Dispatch, we're near Pretty Springs Lake,

probably a couple miles deep in the woods. Over.

- Roger. Backup is on its way. - All right.

Ah...

Does this mean I'm deputized, Pauwu?

Oh, shit yeah, but I ain't your uncle.

Ours! Ours!

Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours!

Ours! Ours! Ours!

- Ours! Ours! - Masks off, hands up!

- Ours! - You're all under arrest!

- Get your sick ass over there. - Back it up. Go, go.

Back it up, back it up.

You see what you get, fish fuckers?

See what you get when you mess with shik'is and I?

Seriously? We were almost done.

- Potluck after this. - Potluck's cancelled, boys.

Come on.

When was the last time you were invited

to a white people's party?

Do I look white to you?

Yes.

You kind of do, Kenny Boy.

Fuck off, bilagáanas.

Arrest these nasty crackers.

Eputized busted...

- Hey! - a little-known but mythologized

secret society ceremony today.

Among their crimes are assault on an officer...

- Fascists. - That fish was already dead.

And, more disturbing, fornicating with catfish,

which surely is a big crime.

Apparently, the Midstreamers stole a truck

full of frozen catfish

that distributes to local restaurants.

Hell nah.

Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours! Ours!

Aho, Kenny Boy.

Aho, Big.

You're a good man.

I hope so.

Brother.

Lucky I don't fucking take you to jail.

I'm still tripping balls.

Aho.

Ours. Ours. Ours. Ours.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH