All language subtitles for Doom.Patrol.S04E05.Youth.Patrol.720p.HMAX.WEBRip.DD5.1.x264-NTb.[eng]

Any change?

Nope, still asleep.

You found him?

Yeah, I think so.

You need back up?

No, no. I can handle it.

You need to be here to...

Could you just...

Could you give her
a hug for me?

In case she wakes up
before I get back.

You just concentrate
on getting Keeg.

Then hurry home
and you can hug her yourself.

♪ You made me colorblind ♪

♪ No masquerade to hide behind
It's cold ♪

♪ To think I have no key
Which could ♪

♪ Make or break me ♪

♪ So tired ♪

♪ To see your lights on ♪

♪ So tired ♪

♪ Of standing anxiously ♪

♪ So tired ♪

♪ It's the death of me ♪

♪ So tired of doors
That keep on shutting ♪

♪ Why's your door always shut ♪

♪ Smitten ♪

♪ I close my eyes
To your door ♪

♪ Smitten ♪

♪ I close my eyes
To your door ♪

♪ So sad
To think it's memories ♪

♪ And so tired of doors
That keep on shutting ♪

♪ Smitten ♪

Are you fucking serious?

Which one of you bitches...

Okay. Okay, fine. I get it.

What I was doing
was a little weird,

maybe it was wrong,
and dangerous,

but like, Chinchillas do it
and shit,

so like, really can it be...
Is it really that fucking bad?

I... Fuck!

No.

Shit.

I know better,
and I know things
are all fucked up for us.

And you guys are right.
Maybe I shouldn't be...

But that doesn't give you
the right, though.

It just doesn't give you
the right to just
pull me down here

out of fucking nowhere
without warning and just--

What are you talking about?

No one pulled you down here.

Sorry, what?

Yeah, you just showed up
on your own.

Wait. What were you
doing exactly?

Um...

Nothing. Yeah, nothing.

Just, um... Yeah, I was just...

Okay.

I'll see you guys later.

Oh, yeah.

It looks like
the old girl still got
some life left in her.

Yeah. I bet you will have her
in tip-top shape
before you know it.

Easy now, she's still
a bonafide hunk of shit.

But, um...

Thank you, Laura.

I think this is the nicest
thing that anyone's
ever done for me.

Ah! After hearing you go on
and on about your daddy issues,

your grand-daddy issues
and your tactile sensations,
how could I not?

I didn't realize I was going on
and on about it, but...

Just saying
that you know, the best cure
for the body is a quiet mind.

Everyone deserves their own
private slice of peace.

I hope she gives you many hours
in which to lose yourself in.

Holy shit!

The radio still works.

So, what have you lot
been up to?

Willoughby?

It's like that fuzzy little
cunt said.

The whole world is abuzz
with chatter.

Immortus is rising,
and just like everything else
in the godforsaken universe,

it all leads back to you lot.

Uh, who the fuck's Immortus?

Gather the others.

I'm not repeating myself.

What was that?

Ageing spots?

No.

Oh, no.

Oh.

It's okay, bud.
I can feel you. I'm coming.

What the...

Keeg, just... just hold on.

Oh, God.

By all means,
just help yourself.

Top left.

Finally.

Morning, princess.

Why do you look so sweaty?

I don't know,
why do you look so boring?

All right. Something very big
and very dangerous
is headed our way.

I can assure you,
it is far bigger,
and far more dangerous

than anything you bellends
have ever seen before.

- Ooh.
-"Bellend."

I thought it was all
just legend.

Tall tales...

about an ancient forgotten God.

But, as it turns out,
Immortus is real.
And it's coming.

We're wandering into
the literal end of days
as we speak.

Uh, actually, we took care
of the end of the world
last week.

Consider the butts wiped.
Front to back.

I'm not talking about
some arses with teeth!

This is an
inter-dimensional deity

capable of swallowing
the entirety
of existence whole!

This could be the end
of reality as we know it.

Oh, fuck me senseless
and call me Martha.

The Immortus Project!

At the Bureau. I knew I'd heard
that name before.

It was some kind of experiment,
a pursuit of immortality.

But as I recall it, it didn't
amount to anything, so.

Actually, that's exactly why
I'm here.

Caulder always swore
he had a piece of Immortus.
I never believed him.

And yet here I am,
amidst the results
of his little pet enterprise:

The Immortus Project.

Well, except for you
and tracksuit.

Wait, what do you mean
by "results"?

You're the project.

A long time ago,

a piece of the fabled deity
was procured,

passing through many hands
in many shady dealings
and backrooms.

Whispers proclaimed
that it held the secrets
of immortality.

Whoever adorned it
would be gifted
with an unnaturally long life.

That same piece came to be
in the hands of one
Eric Morden.

Mr. Nobody?

Exactly.

And he had it right up
until he was shot

by the famous adventurer, scientist,

and certifiable bastard
that we all know,

or rather, knew as--

Fuckin' Chief.

Had it around his neck
for years.

That was, until he went all
Honey I Shrunk the Kids

and he needed it
to bail you out.

But before all of that,
small pieces of the necklace

were shaved off and mixed in
with the sugar, spice
and all things nice

that make up Larry,
Rita, Cliff,

and little miss manic pixie
over there.

I mean,
haven't you ever wondered

why you've looked exactly
the same for decades?

Longevity. A la Immortus.

So what now?
Immortus wants his pieces back?

Look at that. Quick as ever,

even without a super computer
jammed up your arse.

Mm.

There was a break-in
at Horst Eismann's
a few weeks ago.

Millions of dollars
of bits-and-bobs

and the only thing
that was stolen
was the necklace.

Safe to say, whoever's working
for Immortus now has it

and is looking
for the other pieces.

And before you ask, yes.

The pieces inside of you
can still be extracted,

like gold, or uranium,
or a blackhead.

So, and this is the really
important bit,

just so long as you don't lose
your longevity,

the necklace cannot be reconstituted.
And Immortus cannot rise.

So what does the extraction
process look like exactly?

What?

Uh, well, you know, is it like
someone getting sucked into
their own filmography?

Or maybe, is attacked
by a weirdo named Dr. Janus--

Who also happens to be
an emotional vampire.

There are no depths
to your collective stupidity,
are there?

Come on, Niles,
you crazy old bat.

There must be something.

Ugh.

"Fountain of youth."

"10 Ways to Stay Young
and Keep Him Interested."

Ugh!

Ooh.

"Experimental." "Untested."

Hello.

Let's see what you can do.

Jesus Christ!

What the hell happened
to your face?

I think we got bigger problems
than that right now.

- What's happening?
- That's me, let go.

What is happening?

What the yee-haw fuck?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

Oh, my God!
Look who's got metal back!

Shut up, Hot Topic.

Yes! It worked!
It actually worked!

Although, I can't recall
the last time I wore...

Oh, my God. 1937.

That was a de-aging spell you...

Whatever the female equivalent
of a dick-head is!

Clit-head?

Uh, well, excuse me.

If Cliff didn't rushed in
like some brainless buffoon--

Hey! How is this my fault?

Hold up. Did you just say
"de-aging spell"?

Yes, you daft cunts.
We're all teenagers again. Duh.

Uh, that's bullshit
'cause we all pretty
much look the same.

Do you feel the same?

Kinda.
Except I also feel like
pounding a metric ton

of Taco Bell and whacking off.

Do you need a mirror?
'Cause you still look
like 1,000 years old.

Clearly, it's not a very good
de-aging spell.

Probably why it was
in a locked box

marked "experimental,"
"untested," and "dangerous."

By the way, aging works
a little differently
for Chaos Magicians.

How does your hairline
not come in until you're
at least a million?

Ha! Burn!

For your information,

teenage Chaos Magicians
are notoriously
folically gifted.

Wow.

Does aging
work differently for
bird-lady ottomans too?

Oh, no. I just...
I held my breath.

Years old Bureau training
kicked in.

"If you see a cloud of smoke,
don't breathe, don't choke."
It's simple.

No, no.

This is a Khepri hex.
This is bad.
Really, really bad.

Ah...

What the hell?

State your name.

Rama, sir.

Do you go by any other names?

Mr. 104, sir.

When and where
were you born, Mr. 104?

1928, Tamil Nadu.
In India, sir.

At the height
of the British Raj.

What made you decide
to move to London?

I wanted to study
the physical sciences, sir.

Organic chemistry, specifically.

Is this truly your story?

I'm sorry, sir?

Everything you've just said
to me.

Do you believe this information
to be true?

Yes, sir. I swear, sir.

Remarkable.

Subjects, enter.

Mr. 104, you can begin
with air augmentation
experiment now.

Now, sir?

Commence with air augmentation,
Mr. 104, as instructed.

- But they're--
- They're Agents of the Bureau.

Everything that happens here
is in service of our freedom,
Mr. 104. They understand that.

- Yes, but--
- Our nation's freedom
is paramount.

Do you understand, Mr. 104?

Yes, sir.

Good. Begin air augmentation.

What the...

Experiment complete.

Thank you, Mr. 104.
That'll be all.

"Not Polly." We meet again.

Keeg!

I understand you're confused,
and you think I'm your enemy.

I just want my kid.

Please, just let him go.

You think I'm doing this
on purpose?

I've been trying
to get rid of him.

No matter what I do,
he won't leave.

Once again my work
has gone unappreciated.

Well, I for one think
we all look fabulous.

Well, except for Vic.

But I'm sure,

um, when you get those things
out of your mouth--

Will you just shut the fuck up?

I'm trying to find her.

I'm fucking stripped.

Oh, I can barely get
this location spell to work.

Oh, of course.

Is it true your kind don't get
your proper magic

till you've lost
your virginity?

Dude! Your V-seal grew back?

And so what? Why should
we fight this anyway?

We should be enjoying our time
as virile youths.

Gross.

Except that we don't have
any time at all.

You didn't stumble into
any old run-of-the-mill
youthification spell, Rita.

This is a curse.

And it'll keep on de-aging us.
First teenagers, then children,
then babies.

All the way back
to that little spark
in your daddy's eye.

And then, well, nothing.

We'll be jizzified?

Ugh.

My old mentor, Ms. April.

She's the only one that I trust
to help us out of this mess.

So if I can just have
two fucking seconds of silence,

I might be able to find her
teleporting tea room.

Right. So we can take you there
to get your V-card punched. Nice.

That's not what I meant.

Ah. There she is.

Toledo.

Isn't that like two towns over?

Pedal to the metal, Cliff.
Fast as you can.

Road trip! Woo-hoo!

Welcome back, Captain Trainor.

Keeg. Keeg, stop this.

Can you hear me? Stop this.

Subjects, enter.

No, no. Keeg.

No, no, no. Please!

Let me out!

Time is of the essence!

Got it, Dad!

Hey, get me a hot dog.

Ooh, and a couple of Paydays.
And some Takis.

Fucking nerd.

Teen metabolism.

- So, BFF...
- Ew.

Do you think
we'd be friends if we were
in high school together?

- Ha!
- What?

- Weren't you like
a popular kid or some shit?
- So?

Whatever.

I wasn't even around back then.

I'm glad I skipped high school

and that whole
"awkward hormonal stage"
bullshittery.

Aw, come on! It's not all bad.

The "awkward hormonal stage"
is kind of what makes a person
who they are.

The chaos, the confusion,
the lakeside fingerings,

the mistakes... All of it.

Really?

Drinking in playgrounds,
and copping a feel

behind the bleachers
made you who you are?

Yeah. Actually,
I think some of that stuff
saved me.

Hm.

- Anyway, speaking of hormones--
- Oh, God.

I haven't forgotten about
our little conversation...

Hey!

Come on.

Hey, Euphoria, can I get a hit?

Well, excuse me.

Can I have an introduction
or something
before we swap spit?

Yeah, I'm Jane.

- This is, Cliff.
- Howdy?

Love
the Woodstock core vibes.

And the whole
yassified cyber-cowboy thing.

Super cute.

- Uh...
- Fuck yes, dude.

You look like my racist grandpa
but, like, fresh as fuck.

Why, thank you, dude.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Yeah, okay, cool.
So, introduction's over...

- Ahem...
- Oh, hold on.

We're actually in need
of a little favor ourselves.

A six-pack of lite beer
for these basic bitches

and a bottle
of the finest brandy for me.

I bet your tall friend
never gets carded.

What do you say?

Okay.

Yeah, whatever,
sure, it's cool.

Wow, okay.

Actually...

Okay.

No.

After you, dear leader.

Rita...

Rita.

I just wanna talk to you
about this leadership thing.

If you think
I'm going to have
a heart-to-heart with you

while a used condom
stares at me

from a broken
diaper changing table,

you've got
another thing coming.

This will
all be over soon.

We'll go to Ms. April's
and she'll fix everything.

I will be my ol' normal self,
before Janus.

Did Willoughby say
she could fix this?

The aging?

I just assume--

Okay, uh, you're gonna have to
lower your expectations here.

Niles spent almost a century

searching for a way to stop
the aging process.

There were experiments, expeditions,

you know, if there was
an answer out there

that didn't have a hex
attached to it,
he would've found it.

But he didn't.

Rita?

Rita?

Where
are you going?

Where she going?

Just go on, we'll catch up.

No. That's not the plan.

Fuck's sake, what now?

Heads up.

Yo, where's my Takis?

Takis? Interesting.

Enchante.

While you two
were mucking around,
we lost Rouge and Rita.

Oh, boo-hoo.

Yeah, that's too bad.

But, great news, our new BFFs,

Charlie, Jeremy and Winona

were just mentioning
this super-cool party.

Are you
out of your mind?

We're on a mission here, remember?

Immortus?

End of reality?

Man, why is this shit
always on us anyway?

It's always, "You guys have to
defeat the eye in the sky

or it'll delete everyone."

Oh, yeah,
I forgot about that.

That shit was fucking bananas.

That happened during
our homecoming.

- Oh, my God, what?
- Oh, shit.

- You're so right.
- Shut up!

Shut up. Shut up.
Shut up, shut up!

We're getting in the car,

without the cast
of Freaks and Geeks after dark.

We're gonna see Ms. April,

so I don't have to go back
to my father's hairy gooch.
You understand?

Square.

Excuse me?

Square. Square. Square.

Virgin. Virgin.
Virgin. Virgin.

Fine! Fine!

We can go for five minutes.

- My man.
- Yes!

Fuck, yeah!

Let me out.

Please let me go.

Begin experiment.

No. Oh, please. Please.
Keeg, stop this, please! No.

Get away from me. Get away.

We have to get out
of here, please.

Please.

Oh, God.

Keeg. Keeg. Make it stop.

Please. No. Please.

Keeg, make it stop!

Make it stop, please!

Keeg, make it stop.

Make it stop, please.

Please make it stop, Keeg.

No!
Get away from me!

- It's okay.
- Don't touch me.

It's okay. Just breathe.

In and out.

Keep going.

I can turn my skin to lead.

You can't hurt me.

Just breathe.

♪ Another cog
In the murder machine ♪

♪ They said
"All teenagers scare
The living shit out of me ♪

♪ They could care less
As long as someone'll bleed" ♪

♪ So darken your clothes
Or strike a violent pose ♪

♪ Maybe they'll leave you alone
But not me ♪

Is this legal?

Not for long.

Who wants to put molly
in my tank hole?

Whoo! Yeah!

Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

Loosen up, Taki boy.

Yeah, loosen up.

Oh, I can loosen up.

Prove it.

Loose enough?

Booyah, baby!

♪ Doesn't anyone dance
In this town no more? ♪

♪ Why am I the only one
On the dancefloor? ♪

♪ The DJ's killin' it
Drinks is poured ♪

Chug, chug, chug, chug!

Let's do this.

Chug, chug, chug!

♪ I like to get it started ♪

♪ I'm spendin' all my money ♪

♪ I'm not leavin'
'Til mornin' ♪

Chug, chug, chug!

♪ I don't like none
Of y'all hoes, I'm bored ♪

Ooh!

Holy shit.

Are you smiling?

Guilty.

Okay, we should probably
get going now, right?

Shut up and puff.

It's Willoughby's.
Wizard-grade kush.

Shit.

I knew it.

Nerd.

What?

I just had a feeling you were
a cliche, goody-two-shoes.

You know.

Teacher's pet.

Captain of the sports and shit.

Right, right. Yeah.

What were you like?

Actually I don't know.

Miranda was the teenager

and Kay shit me out
of her brain way later.

So, I guess you could say
this is my first experience
in teenage-hood.

Nice.

So...

what's the verdict?

It's like...

a janky carnival ride
that makes you wanna puke,

but also one
you don't wanna get off.

Yeah, sounds like you're having
a genuine experience.

Great.

So being a kid is
just as complicated
as everything else.

Yeah.

But some things
are simple...

Pure.

Friendship for instance.

Detroiticons!

When I was
in middle school,

I made the most genuine friends
I could've ever asked for.

All the complicated shit
felt easier because of it.

Are these the friends
you went to see the other day?

Yeah.

It's just
different now.

I left it too long, I guess.

Shit's fucked up.

Man, fuck that.

If I had even the smallest
promise of a connection
like that out there,

I'd do everything
it took to get it back.

Yeah, well...

I got a few things
on my plate.

You know, the Butts, Immortus.

Look, let me
tell you something.

I'm starting to think

that the world's always
gonna need rescuing.

But you gotta wonder...

when you're out there
saving the planet,

who the fuck
is recuing you?

You're so high right now.

I'm pretty lit, yeah.

You are so lit.

- But you're also very right.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Yeah.

Adios, amigo.

Godspeed.

Kay.

Kay.

I'm sorry.

I know I fucked up.

But what's new, right?

I should've known better.

I shouldn't even be
thinking about her
or anyone else.

And I definitely shouldn't be
treating this body like
it was mine.

I haven't even been
around long enough

to see it...

grow...

how it's changed.

It's not mine.

It's yours.

It's always been yours.

I'm sorry.

It's our body, Jane.

Fuck.

I am super-high.

Willoughby!

Jane?

♪ Am I talking to you
Or am I talking to the drugs? ♪

Shit!

This is so unfair.

And of course
you're perfectly fine.

You always are.

Rita...

The spell didn't work on me,
I just...

saw myself as a teenager
and I, I...

couldn't.

It was...

a horrible time for me.

A time I'd... rather forget.

So, I used my ability
to change back.

But, um,

underneath this, I'm very much
not fine, Rita, believe me.

Oh, that is so typical.

What?

You are such a control freak.

I'm the control freak?

I wish I had your power.

Then I could be anything, anyone.

I could disappear forever
and no one would be
able to find me.

Okay. It's...
it's not that simple.

Whatever.

You know, a long time ago,
when people found out
about my power,

they didn't react the way
you'd expected them to.

I lost a lot of them.
People I thought
that I mattered to.

And, you know,
when people think
about their teenage years,

they think about
their first loves,
staying out late,

dreaming big dreams...

but, for me it was different.

I think of that
freckled-faced girl
I used to be and I...

I have this...

like, burning,

piercing hurt...

right here.

My mother used to always say

that heartbreak
stains the soul.

Well, I believe that
to be true.

Except, for me, it's different.

It's...

like a void.

A chasm...

standing between me...

and any hope of finding
a true, meaningful connection.

Maybe that's why
I am the way I am.

Maybe by now,
I'm the chasm.

What about me?

We used to be good friends,
didn't we?

Rita.

When I felt alone

and lost, and like
I didn't even know myself,

you're the one person
that made me feel like
everything was gonna be okay.

I miss that.

I miss you.

But things are different now.

You hurt me.

And I'll never have
my best friend back ever again.

I miss you, too.

And I never stopped thinking

about how I hurt you
and I am so...

so sorry, Rita.

I am.

There's not a day that goes by
that I don't think about

how I... I hurt you,
what I did to you,

to Malcolm, and the Sisterhood.

And I...

I don't deserve
an ounce of forgiveness

and I never will.

I never will.
I am so, so sorry.

I am so sorry.

Chug! Chug!

Cliff. Hey.

- Jane?
- Yes, it's me, poop-bot.

- Oh, hey,
Jane, what's up?
- We have to go, now.

Um, who brought
the little vibe killers?

It's cool.
It's cool, they're with me.

Party on, party people.

Party on!

I know you're having
a jolly old time

but we have to find Ms. April
right now,

before this gets any worse.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

- Cliff, come on.
- Leave me alone.

What is wrong with you?
Why are you being so weird?

Because I am weird, Jane. Okay?

I am a weirdo.

Look at my hand.

Have you ever seen me without
this stupid oven mitt on?

That's weird.

What the fuck
are you talking about?

It's all right, guys.
We're cool, we're cool.

I'm cool.
We're cool. I'm cool.

What say we take this party
to a new location?

Numero dos.

Are you crazy?

You're gonna
pick some burnout teens

to go party with over
your actual fucking friends?

"Actual friends"?

You mean the "actual friends"
who just want me to punch shit
for them?

The "actual friends"
who didn't even care to ask
if I'm doing okay

when, clearly, I am not.

Party on, party people!

Where the hell is Vic?

Just pause it a second.

What the--

Derick... it's me Vic.

Vic?

That wasn't the first time
I've seen it, you know,
a piece of your past.

Great.

It's actually
quite illuminating.

Seems to me you have
a little guardian angel.

You mean Keeg?

And the spirit before him.

I see you've been through
a lot together.

I joined Dr. Janus

because I wanted to stop
causing suffering.

But here I am.

I'm a beacon for it.

What... what do you mean by
"stop causing suffering"?

I'm trying to reverse
my condition.

The things that my body can do,
it's taking a toll.

There are misfires

from the changing compositions.

One day I might not be
able to control it.

What then?

A mass extinction event.

The only way I can stop it

is if I fulfill the pledge
I made to Immortus,

and return their longevity.

Immortus?

Pledge?
What are you talking about?

Listen, I don't know
what you've gotten
yourself into exactly

but I've been around long
enough to know a devil's
bargain when I see one.

This doesn't sound right.

What wasn't right was us
in that room being forced
to kill over and over again.

Immortus can make
that all go away.

Let me help you.

What?

What we went through,

what you're going through,

I get it.

I also think
there's probably another way

that doesn't have to involve
a pledge or violence.

There always is.

So...

Larry.

Rama.

Really? So this was
your plan all along?

What the hell?

What? Hey. No!

Larry!

Fuck! This cannot be how I die.

Oh, my God!

Can you just let me turn into
a pile of splooge

without all the whining
and screaming?

My, my, my! You have been
a naughty little boy
haven't you, Willoughby?

What are you doing here?

To rescue you, of course.

Willoughby? What's going on?

Bunbury, please.

Just take what you need
and be done with it.