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1
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How many stars sparkle in the sky?
2
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Ever tried counting them?
3
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It would take 6,000 years to count those in our galaxy alone
4
00:02:01,375 --> 00:02:03,250
How many such galaxies exist?
5
00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:07,457
Scientists reckon two billion more
6
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Isn't it possible that amongst these billions of celestial bodies
7
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a planet with people like us exists?
8
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As we explore space looking for them,
9
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couldn't they be coming here, looking for us?
10
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[Hindi pop song]
11
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:19,125
What the thief stole was the gadget to recall his spaceship
12
00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:23,083
Without this remote he could not return home
13
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:27,833
He neither knew our language, nor had a friend here
14
00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:32,125
Alone, anguished, his only thought was...
15
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.. how will I return home?
16
00:06:57,333 --> 00:07:02,833
On the pathway of Time Life is but a brief flame
17
00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:08,416
In its luminous mist We wish, we dream, we exist
18
00:07:08,915 --> 00:07:11,415
But on a beautiful bend
19
00:07:11,915 --> 00:07:14,415
A stranger may we meet
20
00:07:14,915 --> 00:07:17,750
Life after life
21
00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:21,750
Whose memory may persist
22
00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:41,833
Extra ticket. Anyone extra ticket?
23
00:07:42,333 --> 00:07:44,833
- Yes sir... - I'll take it!
24
00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:46,625
Sorry, I raised my hand first
25
00:07:47,125 --> 00:07:49,625
But I called out first
26
00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:52,458
I'm a big fan of Mr Bachchan, the poet
27
00:07:52,958 --> 00:07:55,625
I'm a bigger fan of his son, the actor
28
00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:58,750
From age ten, I know all his poems. Fully memorized
29
00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:02,000
From age five, I know his son's dialogues - without memorizing
30
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:03,790
Hello, who wants it?
31
00:08:04,290 --> 00:08:06,457
Give me. Poetry's not his cup of tea
32
00:08:06,958 --> 00:08:08,208
100
33
00:08:08,708 --> 00:08:11,833
100 for a 40 ticket? Black market of poetry!
34
00:08:12,333 --> 00:08:14,166
Queued up six long hours for this
35
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Time is money
36
00:08:22,790 --> 00:08:28,332
- Go for the dialogues. - All yours. Ladies first
37
00:08:28,833 --> 00:08:31,333
Just a sec! Why not split the ticket?
38
00:08:31,833 --> 00:08:39,458
1st half you enjoy the poetry. 2nd half I'll savor the acting
39
00:08:39,957 --> 00:08:43,915
That's a damn good idea!
40
00:08:44,416 --> 00:08:45,708
10, 20, 30, 40
41
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50 more
42
00:08:47,082 --> 00:08:47,582
6
43
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- 96 - 96
44
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96. How about a discount? We're from the same country
45
00:08:54,332 --> 00:08:55,915
Hail India, bro!
46
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Long live motherland! 100
47
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Extra ticket. Anyone extra ticket?
48
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Sir!
49
00:09:06,707 --> 00:09:08,832
Can I borrow 4? Please!
50
00:09:09,332 --> 00:09:11,540
Keep my watch till I repay
51
00:09:12,041 --> 00:09:13,875
Please, Sir, it's the last ticket
52
00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:17,332
Show is sold out, child. No tickets left
53
00:09:17,832 --> 00:09:21,750
There is one left with that black marketeer
54
00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:25,916
Scoundrel! Giving India a bad name
55
00:09:26,416 --> 00:09:26,916
So true!
56
00:09:27,416 --> 00:09:30,166
Wait here. I'll get you that ticket
57
00:09:30,666 --> 00:09:31,625
OK, Sir
58
00:09:32,125 --> 00:09:35,625
Thank you
59
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:46,125
Yes!
60
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:57,166
- Sir! - Do I know you?
61
00:09:57,666 --> 00:09:58,625
Where's my ticket?
62
00:09:59,125 --> 00:10:01,750
Ticket? Yours for 100
63
00:10:02,250 --> 00:10:03,916
You bloody cheat!
64
00:10:04,416 --> 00:10:06,458
Decaying dacoit! Senile snake! Capitalist!
65
00:10:06,957 --> 00:10:07,750
Mind your language!
66
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Mind your coat first!
67
00:10:11,666 --> 00:10:14,250
- Now enjoy the show! - Security!
68
00:10:14,750 --> 00:10:16,916
- Wrinkled wreck! - Security!
69
00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:19,916
Let's get outta here
70
00:10:20,416 --> 00:10:23,041
I'll get you for this!
71
00:10:23,541 --> 00:10:27,041
Don't chase me... catch him!
72
00:10:39,750 --> 00:10:42,875
Oldies these days! It's a spoilt generation!
73
00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:45,916
Forget it
74
00:10:46,416 --> 00:10:47,458
How can I?
75
00:10:47,957 --> 00:10:49,707
That bandit basks in poetry and here I am
76
00:10:50,207 --> 00:10:52,290
Drop it
77
00:10:52,791 --> 00:10:55,750
Why pine for the party that shuns us?
78
00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:59,541
Follow the moment that beckons us
79
00:11:00,041 --> 00:11:01,958
I too dabble in poetry
80
00:11:02,457 --> 00:11:04,957
It's nice. Go on
81
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:12,165
No. If I go on, you'll propose to me
82
00:11:12,666 --> 00:11:14,833
- You crazy? - I mean it!
83
00:11:15,332 --> 00:11:17,000
Your favorite poet, senior Mr Bachchan
84
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,916
met a lady one morning, wooed her with verse
85
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By dusk they were married. So I've read
86
00:11:22,957 --> 00:11:23,457
Really?
87
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:26,957
And boy! Look what they produced -
88
00:11:27,457 --> 00:11:30,915
Amitabh Bachchan - the great actor
89
00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:32,375
Jaggu
90
00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:33,957
Jaggu?
91
00:11:34,457 --> 00:11:35,375
My name
92
00:11:35,875 --> 00:11:38,791
Papa named me Jagat Janani: world's mother
93
00:11:39,291 --> 00:11:43,500
I got mocked at school so I shortened it - Jaggu
94
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,291
- From Mumbai? - No. Delhi
95
00:11:45,791 --> 00:11:47,000
I'm studying TV production
96
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,332
And you?
97
00:11:48,832 --> 00:11:51,915
Sarfaraz. I study architecture
98
00:11:52,416 --> 00:11:54,916
and work part time at the Pakistan Embassy
99
00:11:55,416 --> 00:11:57,333
Pakistan Embassy? Why?
100
00:11:57,832 --> 00:11:59,750
Well, I'm from Pakistan
101
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:05,707
Unlikely the Indian Embassy will employ me!
102
00:12:06,207 --> 00:12:07,750
What's wrong?
103
00:12:08,250 --> 00:12:11,750
Nothing
104
00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:16,832
My being from Pakistan perturbs you?
105
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:22,375
Alright then
106
00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:26,375
Goodbye
107
00:12:40,041 --> 00:12:46,541
Ask not my name, nor my country
108
00:12:47,041 --> 00:12:53,166
From bondage of borders break free
109
00:12:53,666 --> 00:12:59,458
A few steps on this brief journey
110
00:12:59,957 --> 00:13:03,457
Come, just walk with me
111
00:13:15,332 --> 00:13:18,957
Ask not my name, nor my country
112
00:13:19,457 --> 00:13:22,915
From bondage of borders break free
113
00:13:23,416 --> 00:13:26,958
A few steps on this brief journey
114
00:13:27,457 --> 00:13:30,915
Come, just walk with me
115
00:13:31,416 --> 00:13:34,916
Past the realms of word and speech
116
00:13:35,416 --> 00:13:38,875
Hand in hand, nowhere to reach
117
00:13:39,375 --> 00:13:42,916
A few steps on this brief journey
118
00:13:43,416 --> 00:13:46,208
Come, just walk with me
119
00:13:46,707 --> 00:13:50,915
Past the realms of word and speech
120
00:13:51,416 --> 00:13:54,916
Hand in hand, nowhere to reach
121
00:13:55,416 --> 00:13:58,916
A few steps on this brief journey
122
00:13:59,416 --> 00:14:02,916
Come, just walk with me
123
00:14:23,416 --> 00:14:26,916
If the sun scorches the pathway
124
00:14:27,416 --> 00:14:30,833
A carpet of shade will I lay
125
00:14:31,332 --> 00:14:34,915
If darkness fills you with dismay
126
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:38,916
I'll conjure up a moon in the sky
127
00:14:39,416 --> 00:14:42,958
If dejection fills up your day
128
00:14:43,457 --> 00:14:46,957
With laughter I'll shoo it away
129
00:14:47,457 --> 00:14:50,915
Laughing, frolicking, humming a song
130
00:14:51,416 --> 00:14:54,916
Together we shall walk along
131
00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:16,791
With you, my fellow traveler
132
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:20,708
Nothing in this world I fear
133
00:15:21,207 --> 00:15:24,707
Why a few steps, a whole lifelong
134
00:15:25,207 --> 00:15:28,582
With you I'll walk along
135
00:15:29,082 --> 00:15:32,750
Past the realms of word and speech
136
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:36,750
Hand in hand, nowhere to reach
137
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:40,750
A few steps on this brief journey
138
00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:44,750
Come, just walk with me
139
00:16:26,541 --> 00:16:29,333
- Thank you - Thank you
140
00:16:29,832 --> 00:16:30,375
Mom!
141
00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:31,375
Papa!
142
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,291
She's fallen in love!
143
00:16:33,791 --> 00:16:36,000
Fallen in love?
144
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:37,916
He's so cute!
145
00:16:38,416 --> 00:16:39,333
More photos please!
146
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,500
What's his job? What's his family like?
147
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,707
Calm down Mom. I'll tell you
148
00:16:45,207 --> 00:16:46,957
First, the name
149
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Sarfaraz
150
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,500
Muslim?
151
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,291
Yes. Studies architecture. Family is in Pakistan
152
00:16:55,791 --> 00:16:58,000
Pakistan! Which Pakistan?
153
00:16:58,500 --> 00:16:59,625
There's just one Pakistan, Mom
154
00:17:00,125 --> 00:17:00,707
You'll wear burkhas?
155
00:17:01,207 --> 00:17:02,915
Read the Quran? Have you gone mad?
156
00:17:03,416 --> 00:17:06,083
Don't you disconnect. Stay put
157
00:17:06,583 --> 00:17:07,583
Start the car
158
00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:10,166
All's doomed, Your Holiness. Help!
159
00:17:10,665 --> 00:17:12,957
I knew exactly where Papa was headed
160
00:17:13,458 --> 00:17:17,708
Since childhood one face had surrounded us: His Holiness
161
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Bye Mom
162
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:23,125
From bags to bathroom walls,
163
00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:27,165
he was omnipresent
164
00:17:27,665 --> 00:17:33,665
Even for a root canal he would set the auspicious time
165
00:17:34,165 --> 00:17:39,625
He had gifted Papa a God box with a deity for every task
166
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:44,625
Goddess of Wealth for the stock market
167
00:17:45,125 --> 00:17:49,165
God of Health for workouts
168
00:17:49,665 --> 00:17:52,540
Web-based worship and sacred sweets by courier
169
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:56,540
were his innovations
170
00:18:06,333 --> 00:18:09,250
Hail, Your Holiness
171
00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:13,250
Touch his feet Jaggu
172
00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:25,500
Why this fatal infatuation?
173
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,958
Pick up a pen and write
174
00:18:29,458 --> 00:18:31,375
God
175
00:18:31,875 --> 00:18:35,375
Enlighten me
176
00:18:38,415 --> 00:18:40,875
Yes...
177
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:43,000
Yes...
178
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:46,083
Your wish is our command
179
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:48,500
Write down the prophecy
180
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,915
This Pakistani boy,
181
00:18:51,415 --> 00:18:53,665
Sarfaraz,
182
00:18:54,165 --> 00:18:55,250
will betray you
183
00:18:55,750 --> 00:18:59,083
I know he won't
184
00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:05,916
History stands witness: these people scheme and betray
185
00:19:06,415 --> 00:19:09,375
He will pursue carnal pleasures
186
00:19:09,875 --> 00:19:13,083
But will never marry you. He'll vanish
187
00:19:13,583 --> 00:19:17,958
Come home now! One more night there, and you're dead to us
188
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:21,166
Mr Sahni, I'll talk to her
189
00:19:21,665 --> 00:19:25,207
Child, hit the delete button
190
00:19:25,708 --> 00:19:29,208
Banish him from your system
191
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:36,332
Hello!
192
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:39,291
What happened?
193
00:19:39,790 --> 00:19:41,625
Do you love me?
194
00:19:42,125 --> 00:19:44,040
Of course I do. Why?
195
00:19:44,540 --> 00:19:47,125
- Will you marry me? - What's the matter?
196
00:19:47,625 --> 00:19:48,500
Yes or no, Sarfaraz?
197
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,625
- Yes, but... - Tomorrow
198
00:19:51,125 --> 00:19:52,208
Tomorrow?
199
00:19:52,708 --> 00:19:55,583
Tomorrow we get married
200
00:19:56,083 --> 00:19:59,583
His prophecy is wrong. I'll prove it
201
00:20:12,708 --> 00:20:15,458
Mr James Herrick and Miss Oprah Brown, you're next
202
00:20:15,958 --> 00:20:19,625
- James isn't here, yet. - Oh, talk to the registrar
203
00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:21,375
Could you just hold this please?
204
00:20:21,875 --> 00:20:24,125
Yes of course.
205
00:20:24,625 --> 00:20:27,208
Hello...
206
00:20:27,708 --> 00:20:29,208
This is for you
207
00:20:29,708 --> 00:20:31,083
- For me? - Yeah
208
00:20:31,583 --> 00:20:35,083
Thank you
209
00:20:37,750 --> 00:20:39,125
It was from Sarfaraz
210
00:20:39,625 --> 00:20:42,708
He said: marriage isn't just between individuals, but families
211
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,958
Our faiths, countries, cultures are different
212
00:20:46,458 --> 00:20:48,833
We can never be happy if our families are unhappy
213
00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:51,291
Don't try to contact me
214
00:20:51,790 --> 00:20:55,290
I'm sorry
215
00:21:13,915 --> 00:21:15,790
Where to go young lady?
216
00:21:16,290 --> 00:21:19,790
New Delhi
217
00:21:21,415 --> 00:21:25,040
I came back to my city, but my parents refused to see me
218
00:21:25,540 --> 00:21:27,290
I joined a news channel as a reporter
219
00:21:27,790 --> 00:21:29,790
Today's story: a depressed dog
220
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,582
That's our breaking news!
221
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:35,583
Some days we had news, some days we fabricated it
222
00:21:55,958 --> 00:21:59,625
Missing: God
223
00:22:00,125 --> 00:22:03,625
If found, contact Tipsy
224
00:22:06,540 --> 00:22:08,915
There's a story in this man. I'll see you at office
225
00:22:09,415 --> 00:22:12,915
Don't be late!
226
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:25,583
Excuse me?
227
00:22:26,083 --> 00:22:27,833
Why are you handing these out?
228
00:22:28,333 --> 00:22:30,125
I have a case pending with Him
229
00:22:30,625 --> 00:22:32,458
He neither solves it, nor meets me
230
00:22:32,958 --> 00:22:35,791
My life is kaput
231
00:22:36,290 --> 00:22:39,790
He's gone into hiding
232
00:22:40,290 --> 00:22:43,082
Have you seen Him around?
233
00:22:43,583 --> 00:22:47,375
No
234
00:22:47,875 --> 00:22:53,415
Hail Goddess, Hail Holy Mother
235
00:22:53,915 --> 00:23:00,915
Hail Goddess, Hail Holy Mother
236
00:23:01,415 --> 00:23:03,415
By the way, what's with the helmet?
237
00:23:03,915 --> 00:23:05,790
Got the idea from taxi-tops
238
00:23:06,290 --> 00:23:08,915
Yellow yells out from miles
239
00:23:09,415 --> 00:23:12,375
Taxis are spotted easily in traffic
240
00:23:12,875 --> 00:23:16,125
- So? - So God can spot me easy!
241
00:23:16,625 --> 00:23:20,125
How else will he spot me in this crowd?
242
00:23:28,750 --> 00:23:31,000
A bit to your left - perfect!
243
00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:32,915
Ok, background?
244
00:23:33,415 --> 00:23:35,125
Cue Jaggu
245
00:23:35,625 --> 00:23:38,333
They say animals are not suicidal
246
00:23:38,833 --> 00:23:43,041
Here's Nikku. Mr Sweetie Singh's dog
247
00:23:43,540 --> 00:23:46,665
Nikku has attempted suicide thrice
248
00:23:47,165 --> 00:23:53,082
Jumping off a roof, licking sleeping pills, hopping onto a gas burner
249
00:23:53,583 --> 00:23:54,916
What's wrong with Nikku?
250
00:23:55,415 --> 00:23:58,790
Is Nikku prey to a mental problem?
251
00:23:59,290 --> 00:24:02,250
Is Nikku...
252
00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:04,458
What's wrong Jaggu?
253
00:24:04,958 --> 00:24:08,458
What is this shit, Mitu?
254
00:24:10,875 --> 00:24:13,915
Our chat with famed industrialist Mr Ratan continues
255
00:24:14,415 --> 00:24:17,040
right after this break
256
00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:19,707
Going well, Ratan? Some coffee?
257
00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:21,208
Get him some coffee
258
00:24:21,708 --> 00:24:23,375
- Cherry... - Oh no!
259
00:24:23,875 --> 00:24:26,958
What's your guess? This dog has depression, anxiety disorder,
260
00:24:27,458 --> 00:24:30,833
schizophrenia, or ADHD?
261
00:24:31,333 --> 00:24:32,625
Whatever, why would I care?
262
00:24:33,125 --> 00:24:33,915
Exactly
263
00:24:34,415 --> 00:24:39,457
Why would anyone care? Then why do we air such bull?
264
00:24:39,958 --> 00:24:41,375
What would you rather air?
265
00:24:41,875 --> 00:24:45,458
Hold him please
266
00:24:45,958 --> 00:24:46,750
See this?
267
00:24:47,250 --> 00:24:50,165
I met a guy distributing these pamphlets
268
00:24:50,665 --> 00:24:53,582
- He is searching for God. - Found Him?
269
00:24:54,083 --> 00:24:55,333
No... But
270
00:24:55,833 --> 00:24:59,791
Searching for God - that's religion. Finding God - that's news
271
00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:02,582
If he finds God, get him. I'll put him on air
272
00:25:03,083 --> 00:25:04,625
You know the Company policy
273
00:25:05,125 --> 00:25:07,625
No news on religion, no news on God. Finished
274
00:25:08,125 --> 00:25:09,290
Man, you've changed!
275
00:25:09,790 --> 00:25:11,790
Where's the fighter, Cherry Bajwa?
276
00:25:12,290 --> 00:25:14,790
You wanna see the fighter?
277
00:25:15,290 --> 00:25:16,832
Take a good look
278
00:25:17,333 --> 00:25:19,750
There are three marks here
279
00:25:20,250 --> 00:25:21,375
These aren't birthmarks
280
00:25:21,875 --> 00:25:25,958
I ran a show against His Holiness, your Dad's Guru
281
00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:29,708
His devotees shoved a trident right here in my bum
282
00:25:30,208 --> 00:25:32,458
Anchor coming to you in 10 seconds
283
00:25:32,958 --> 00:25:35,125
That day I swore - if you want to live in this country
284
00:25:35,625 --> 00:25:36,915
don't mess with religion. That's it
285
00:25:37,415 --> 00:25:38,957
- I've got a show to run now. - 5... 4...
286
00:25:39,458 --> 00:25:39,958
3...
287
00:25:40,375 --> 00:25:40,875
2...
288
00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:41,790
1...
289
00:25:42,290 --> 00:25:43,250
Welcome back from the break
290
00:25:43,750 --> 00:25:46,458
We were chatting with famed industrialist Mr Ratan...
291
00:25:46,958 --> 00:25:49,625
The boss killed my story
292
00:25:50,125 --> 00:25:53,625
But it came back to life two weeks later
293
00:26:34,375 --> 00:26:37,875
[ DONATION BOX ]
294
00:26:42,415 --> 00:26:44,082
Stop! Thief!
295
00:26:44,583 --> 00:26:48,083
He's stealing from the donation box!
296
00:27:06,415 --> 00:27:10,375
Don't let him go!
297
00:27:10,875 --> 00:27:14,875
Move.
298
00:27:15,375 --> 00:27:17,583
Lifting from the donation box, you fool?
299
00:27:18,083 --> 00:27:18,583
Yes
300
00:27:18,665 --> 00:27:20,207
He's no thief!
301
00:27:20,708 --> 00:27:23,708
While donating my wallet fell in the box
302
00:27:24,208 --> 00:27:26,666
He was getting it out for me
303
00:27:27,165 --> 00:27:28,125
Trust me
304
00:27:28,625 --> 00:27:32,125
Check for yourself. It has Rs 5,000 in it
305
00:27:49,583 --> 00:27:51,208
- That's mine! - It was
306
00:27:51,708 --> 00:27:53,625
Once in the box, it's donated
307
00:27:54,125 --> 00:27:57,750
Now, it's God's. Let them go
308
00:27:58,250 --> 00:28:00,375
Dude, what the hell were you up to?
309
00:28:00,875 --> 00:28:01,875
Claiming my refund
310
00:28:02,375 --> 00:28:03,833
God took His fee but didn't deliver
311
00:28:04,333 --> 00:28:05,958
Hang on...
312
00:28:06,458 --> 00:28:09,958
I saw you fish out some money, then put some back in
313
00:28:10,458 --> 00:28:15,875
I took back what I'd paid at this branch. Returned the rest
314
00:28:16,375 --> 00:28:18,083
You used to wear beads and amulets?
315
00:28:18,583 --> 00:28:20,666
Rejected. Gone for good
316
00:28:21,165 --> 00:28:23,750
Why the stickers then?
317
00:28:24,250 --> 00:28:26,500
Self-defense!
318
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,833
God pics on walls - prevent peeing
319
00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:33,833
on face - prevent punches
320
00:28:39,415 --> 00:28:40,750
Mitu, where are you?
321
00:28:41,250 --> 00:28:43,500
Pick me up. I've no money to get home
322
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,000
I'll fill you in later
323
00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:48,915
I'm at Mudrika, outside the temple
324
00:28:49,415 --> 00:28:52,582
Hurry. Thanks, bye
325
00:28:53,083 --> 00:28:54,333
Here you go
326
00:28:54,833 --> 00:28:57,916
- For what? - For the ride home
327
00:28:58,415 --> 00:29:04,082
When someone can't get home, I feel sad
328
00:29:04,583 --> 00:29:07,750
- Wait. - That's all I had
329
00:29:08,250 --> 00:29:10,375
I can't accept this
330
00:29:10,875 --> 00:29:14,375
- Why? - Won't you need it to get home?
331
00:29:19,165 --> 00:29:22,582
Money can't get me home
332
00:29:23,083 --> 00:29:26,583
Why? Where do you live?
333
00:29:33,708 --> 00:29:38,166
In the step-well ruins
334
00:29:38,665 --> 00:29:43,750
But in this rainy season, I check into a lock-up
335
00:29:44,250 --> 00:29:46,583
Lock-up! As in police lock-up?
336
00:29:47,083 --> 00:29:50,458
There are 122 in the city. I yo-yo between them
337
00:29:50,958 --> 00:29:54,041
And they let you check in, like a hotel?
338
00:29:54,540 --> 00:29:58,040
Come. I'll give you a demo
339
00:30:00,665 --> 00:30:04,165
[ Sign: DO NOT URINATE HERE ]
340
00:30:06,375 --> 00:30:08,458
Just watch!
341
00:30:08,958 --> 00:30:11,458
[ Sign: DO NOT URINATE HERE ]
342
00:30:11,958 --> 00:30:15,458
Hey, copper - look here proper!
343
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:33,540
I'll show you proper!
344
00:30:42,415 --> 00:30:46,125
Jaggu!
345
00:30:46,625 --> 00:30:48,250
We have to follow that van
346
00:30:48,750 --> 00:30:52,250
- Who are we chasing? - A story
347
00:31:06,083 --> 00:31:09,583
Gimme your wallet. I need cash
348
00:31:10,083 --> 00:31:13,583
Hurry! Thanks. Bye
349
00:31:24,833 --> 00:31:26,750
Excuse me?
350
00:31:27,250 --> 00:31:27,750
Yes?
351
00:31:28,250 --> 00:31:30,458
I want to go inside the lock-up
352
00:31:30,958 --> 00:31:32,625
Why?
353
00:31:33,125 --> 00:31:36,415
To meet that guy
354
00:31:36,915 --> 00:31:39,165
You think this is the local coffee joint, huh?
355
00:31:39,665 --> 00:31:42,875
Saunter in and chillax with your buddies?
356
00:31:43,375 --> 00:31:44,790
This is a lock-up, get it?
357
00:31:45,290 --> 00:31:50,290
Only offenders get in
358
00:31:50,790 --> 00:31:53,250
Bribing is an offence!
359
00:31:53,750 --> 00:31:56,333
That's why I'm committing it!
360
00:31:56,833 --> 00:31:57,458
I can lock you in
361
00:31:57,958 --> 00:32:01,458
Please do... ASAP!
362
00:32:07,290 --> 00:32:10,000
- Thank you, Mr Pandey. - One hour, that's it
363
00:32:10,500 --> 00:32:12,625
Hi
364
00:32:13,125 --> 00:32:17,875
I want your story. Will you share it?
365
00:32:18,375 --> 00:32:19,040
Why?
366
00:32:19,540 --> 00:32:23,040
I'm a TV reporter. It's my job
367
00:32:35,375 --> 00:32:38,875
- Go on, ask. - Awesome!
368
00:32:44,958 --> 00:32:47,458
Your name?
369
00:32:47,958 --> 00:32:49,583
Don't have a name
370
00:32:50,083 --> 00:32:52,250
They call me Tipsy here. Beats me why
371
00:32:52,750 --> 00:32:56,250
And what do you do?
372
00:32:57,583 --> 00:33:00,958
I'm an astronaut
373
00:33:01,458 --> 00:33:02,708
Astronaut!
374
00:33:03,208 --> 00:33:05,458
Those who shoot off to the moon?
375
00:33:05,958 --> 00:33:10,291
Been there once. It's kaput
376
00:33:10,790 --> 00:33:11,500
Sure!
377
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,415
So what's your favorite planet?
378
00:33:14,915 --> 00:33:17,582
- My own. - I meant besides Earth?
379
00:33:18,083 --> 00:33:19,958
Earth is mega-kaput
380
00:33:20,458 --> 00:33:23,958
I meant my own planet
381
00:33:26,540 --> 00:33:30,750
It'll show up there at night
382
00:33:31,250 --> 00:33:33,165
We went bananas,
383
00:33:33,665 --> 00:33:38,915
when we found another planet with people like us
384
00:33:39,415 --> 00:33:41,457
I was sent here on a research mission
385
00:33:41,958 --> 00:33:43,791
Boy, what a welcome I got!
386
00:33:44,290 --> 00:33:46,790
My remote got robbed
387
00:33:47,290 --> 00:33:50,457
Without it, I can't signal my people
388
00:33:50,958 --> 00:33:54,166
and without a signal they won't come for me
389
00:33:54,665 --> 00:33:56,625
They'll think it's a perilous planet
390
00:33:57,125 --> 00:34:00,625
That I'm dead as a dodo
391
00:34:04,165 --> 00:34:04,790
Hello!
392
00:34:05,290 --> 00:34:06,290
- Listen... - What?
393
00:34:06,790 --> 00:34:08,166
Let me out. I want to go home
394
00:34:08,666 --> 00:34:12,458
Your Highness, convicts don't decide that. Cops do
395
00:34:12,958 --> 00:34:14,000
I'm not a thief
396
00:34:14,500 --> 00:34:15,958
So say all the thieves
397
00:34:16,458 --> 00:34:18,041
Where's officer Pandey?
398
00:34:18,541 --> 00:34:20,458
Out on his rounds
399
00:34:20,958 --> 00:34:23,083
Officer Pandey!
400
00:34:23,583 --> 00:34:24,083
Officer Pandey!
401
00:34:24,375 --> 00:34:27,875
Shut up, or you get a knuckle sandwich
402
00:34:47,125 --> 00:34:50,125
You think I'm talking baloney?
403
00:34:50,625 --> 00:34:51,958
Obviously!
404
00:34:52,458 --> 00:34:54,291
Is Hindi the official language of your planet?
405
00:34:54,791 --> 00:34:56,833
On our planet...
406
00:34:57,333 --> 00:34:59,833
.. there's no language!
407
00:35:00,333 --> 00:35:02,666
We read minds. There's no confusion
408
00:35:03,166 --> 00:35:05,750
Here, you utter something and mean something else
409
00:35:06,250 --> 00:35:08,458
A two-letter word can have four different meanings
410
00:35:08,958 --> 00:35:14,583
When you nod and say "oh", it means "Oh, that's cool"
411
00:35:15,083 --> 00:35:18,125
When your eyes pop out, "oh!" means bad news
412
00:35:18,625 --> 00:35:22,000
"Your mother-in-law is moving in." "Oh!"
413
00:35:22,500 --> 00:35:24,875
When angry, you thunder
414
00:35:25,375 --> 00:35:28,625
"Oh! You'll pay for that blunder!"
415
00:35:29,125 --> 00:35:32,250
And when your thought is deep, your "oh" is long!
416
00:35:32,750 --> 00:35:35,625
"Ohhhhhhh! I see!"
417
00:35:36,125 --> 00:35:38,916
As you hear the words, you gotta watch the expression
418
00:35:39,416 --> 00:35:41,000
to get the real meaning
419
00:35:41,500 --> 00:35:45,458
It's torture! Took full 6 hours to learn Hindi
420
00:35:45,958 --> 00:35:48,541
A whole language in 6 hours?
421
00:35:49,041 --> 00:35:51,583
No one let me hold hands
422
00:35:52,083 --> 00:35:53,875
Finally, a nice lady lent her hand
423
00:35:54,375 --> 00:35:57,875
I held it and transferred her language into my system
424
00:35:58,375 --> 00:36:02,791
Man, there's no limit to your whoppers!
425
00:36:03,291 --> 00:36:05,583
Is your hand a USB cable,
426
00:36:06,083 --> 00:36:09,541
that transfers files between computers?
427
00:36:10,041 --> 00:36:13,333
And your clothes? Are faded jeans the rage on your planet too?
428
00:36:13,833 --> 00:36:15,208
Noooo!
429
00:36:15,708 --> 00:36:21,000
On our planet no one wears clothes. There we go bare
430
00:36:21,500 --> 00:36:24,458
Here, at first I thought
431
00:36:24,958 --> 00:36:28,541
your skins were different from ours
432
00:36:29,041 --> 00:36:30,916
Some had sparkly hides,
433
00:36:31,416 --> 00:36:34,583
some jet black
434
00:36:35,083 --> 00:36:38,458
Some hides were colorful, some white
435
00:36:38,958 --> 00:36:44,541
Some hides sticky-tight, some baggy
436
00:36:45,041 --> 00:36:47,708
Then one day I found a car
437
00:36:48,208 --> 00:36:51,708
A dancing car
438
00:36:55,791 --> 00:37:00,916
That day I realized our skins were the same
439
00:37:01,416 --> 00:37:04,916
but yours are covered with a thing called fashion
440
00:37:12,041 --> 00:37:14,041
'Radio Commercial'
441
00:37:14,541 --> 00:37:17,708
Now I could mingle
442
00:37:18,208 --> 00:37:22,083
Yet I was mocked
443
00:37:22,583 --> 00:37:26,750
Look here - half man, half woman!
444
00:37:27,250 --> 00:37:28,458
Slowly I got it
445
00:37:28,958 --> 00:37:32,166
There's man - fashion and woman - fashion
446
00:37:32,666 --> 00:37:33,750
There was day fashion...
447
00:37:34,250 --> 00:37:35,875
.. and night fashion
448
00:37:36,375 --> 00:37:37,083
Sporting fashion...
449
00:37:37,583 --> 00:37:41,875
.. and serving fashion
450
00:37:42,375 --> 00:37:45,875
With the clothes, I found some photos
451
00:37:58,666 --> 00:38:04,458
It hit me - these photos meant survival
452
00:38:04,958 --> 00:38:07,416
You could swap them for food
453
00:38:07,916 --> 00:38:11,416
So I built a portfolio of this old man's photos
454
00:38:26,958 --> 00:38:30,458
What's this?
455
00:38:32,833 --> 00:38:37,083
What are these for?
456
00:38:37,583 --> 00:38:42,833
Why are you giving me this junk?
457
00:38:43,333 --> 00:38:45,458
Right! Now we're talking!
458
00:38:45,958 --> 00:38:48,083
Here you go
459
00:38:48,583 --> 00:38:52,958
I got it: this photo had value on just one kind of paper
460
00:38:53,458 --> 00:38:59,250
On any other paper, it was worthless
461
00:38:59,750 --> 00:39:02,916
For cash and clothes, dancing cars were widely available
462
00:39:03,416 --> 00:39:07,875
They were my bank, they were my tailor!
463
00:39:08,375 --> 00:39:10,458
Once, I got such magnetic attire
464
00:39:10,958 --> 00:39:13,416
that no photos were needed
465
00:39:13,916 --> 00:39:15,833
Food was pulled to me
466
00:39:16,333 --> 00:39:19,916
For you, Sir
467
00:39:20,416 --> 00:39:24,000
Now, to find my remote, I had to learn this planet's language
468
00:39:24,500 --> 00:39:27,708
Without it, every task was a trial
469
00:39:28,208 --> 00:39:29,458
Like telling this gentleman
470
00:39:29,958 --> 00:39:33,458
there was a defect in his fashion
471
00:39:40,375 --> 00:39:44,875
I felt I had spoilt his fashion
472
00:39:45,375 --> 00:39:48,875
So I put it back where it was
473
00:40:10,791 --> 00:40:14,291
[Radio Announcement]
474
00:40:19,125 --> 00:40:20,791
Found him on the road
475
00:40:21,291 --> 00:40:23,583
Some scumbag hit him and bolted
476
00:40:24,083 --> 00:40:26,916
Seems pretty okay,
477
00:40:27,416 --> 00:40:29,791
but isn't responding
478
00:40:30,291 --> 00:40:32,541
Has his eardrum called it a day?
479
00:40:33,041 --> 00:40:34,875
Are you deaf?
480
00:40:35,375 --> 00:40:38,916
Can hear alright, but isn't talking
481
00:40:39,416 --> 00:40:41,458
Seems in a state of shock
482
00:40:41,958 --> 00:40:45,458
Memory loss, I'm afraid
483
00:40:55,708 --> 00:41:00,541
Remember the scumbag who hit you?
484
00:41:01,041 --> 00:41:03,916
Remember the license plate?
485
00:41:04,416 --> 00:41:07,916
Remember anything at all?
486
00:41:36,041 --> 00:41:39,958
Come my friend. Come with me
487
00:41:40,458 --> 00:41:46,208
Be my guest till you get your memory back
488
00:41:46,708 --> 00:41:48,666
Keep slamming your head
489
00:41:49,166 --> 00:41:54,250
One knock took your memory away, another might bring it back
490
00:41:54,750 --> 00:41:55,833
Seen it in the movies
491
00:41:56,333 --> 00:41:58,416
To figure what he was yapping about,
492
00:41:58,916 --> 00:42:04,875
I had to hold his hand and transfer his language
493
00:42:05,375 --> 00:42:08,250
Hey!
494
00:42:08,750 --> 00:42:11,833
With memory loss your gender sense went for a toss?
495
00:42:12,333 --> 00:42:13,750
Wait a moment...
496
00:42:14,250 --> 00:42:15,625
See this - my license
497
00:42:16,125 --> 00:42:17,625
Sex: MALE
498
00:42:18,125 --> 00:42:18,625
Man...
499
00:42:19,041 --> 00:42:22,916
rogue, rascal, scumbag
500
00:42:23,416 --> 00:42:26,916
To return home I had to hold someone's hand
501
00:42:44,541 --> 00:42:51,166
Here comes my zany guest
502
00:42:51,666 --> 00:42:58,250
Can't tell guy from gal Happily hits on all
503
00:42:58,750 --> 00:43:01,583
Here comes my zany guest
504
00:43:02,083 --> 00:43:05,125
Can't tell guy from gal Happily hits on all
505
00:43:05,625 --> 00:43:08,833
Your frantic antics if not stilled, will surely get me killed!
506
00:43:09,333 --> 00:43:12,458
Don't be a scourge Do curb your urge
507
00:43:12,958 --> 00:43:20,833
Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad
508
00:43:21,333 --> 00:43:24,833
Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad
509
00:44:05,916 --> 00:44:09,125
Tourist in tacky gear are you from near or far
510
00:44:09,625 --> 00:44:12,875
From Mumbai, Madrid or Madagascar
511
00:44:13,375 --> 00:44:16,208
Tourist in tacky gear are you from near or far
512
00:44:16,708 --> 00:44:19,583
From Mumbai, Madrid or Madagascar
513
00:44:20,083 --> 00:44:26,791
What was your name at school Was it nerdy or was it cool?
514
00:44:27,291 --> 00:44:33,833
What was your name at school Was it nerdy or was it cool?
515
00:44:34,333 --> 00:44:37,625
What's the zip code Of your abode
516
00:44:38,125 --> 00:44:41,083
Did you alight from a cloud Or sprout from underground
517
00:44:41,583 --> 00:44:44,875
Your frantic antics if not stilled, will surely get me killed!
518
00:44:45,375 --> 00:44:48,458
Don't be a scourge Do curb your urge
519
00:44:48,958 --> 00:44:57,458
Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad
520
00:44:57,958 --> 00:45:06,125
Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad
521
00:45:06,625 --> 00:45:13,250
This memory loss is a blessing
522
00:45:13,750 --> 00:45:16,708
This memory loss is a blessing
523
00:45:17,208 --> 00:45:20,250
Feuds forgotten lenders left guessing
524
00:45:20,750 --> 00:45:22,000
Lovable lad
525
00:45:22,500 --> 00:45:23,916
Innocent cad
526
00:45:24,416 --> 00:45:27,750
Don't be a scourge Do curb your urge
527
00:45:28,250 --> 00:45:36,333
Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad
528
00:45:36,833 --> 00:45:45,291
Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad
529
00:45:45,791 --> 00:45:48,916
Here comes my zany guest
530
00:45:49,416 --> 00:45:52,458
Hits on all
531
00:45:52,958 --> 00:45:55,875
Here comes my zany guest
532
00:45:56,375 --> 00:45:59,875
Hits on all
533
00:46:13,625 --> 00:46:19,833
Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad
534
00:46:20,333 --> 00:46:21,833
Here comes the lusty lad!
535
00:46:22,333 --> 00:46:23,250
Here comes the lusty lad!
536
00:46:23,750 --> 00:46:27,250
Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad
537
00:46:36,958 --> 00:46:39,125
I feel your pain, bro
538
00:46:39,625 --> 00:46:41,958
But don't go grabbing hands
539
00:46:42,458 --> 00:46:45,958
You may end up in bed, but most likely a hospital bed
540
00:46:50,625 --> 00:46:54,125
Don't give up, I know place for you
541
00:47:06,416 --> 00:47:09,541
Hand, foot - hold whatever
542
00:47:10,041 --> 00:47:11,666
No one will bash you here
543
00:47:12,166 --> 00:47:12,916
Come
544
00:47:13,416 --> 00:47:17,958
What a neighborhood! Virtuous, welcoming women
545
00:47:18,458 --> 00:47:21,875
All reaching for my hand, inviting me home
546
00:47:22,375 --> 00:47:26,208
Here I met a serene and gentle woman, Pepper
547
00:47:26,708 --> 00:47:30,208
Pepper, take him to the honeymoon suite
548
00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:21,250
Pepper sat patiently all night
549
00:48:21,750 --> 00:48:26,916
For full 6 hours, I transferred her language files
550
00:48:27,416 --> 00:48:30,916
ABC - XYZ, I drew in everything
551
00:48:43,333 --> 00:48:46,833
First time?... Kaput before you kicked off?
552
00:48:53,750 --> 00:48:56,458
Yes!
553
00:48:56,958 --> 00:49:00,458
Where are you from?
554
00:49:02,291 --> 00:49:05,208
Far, far away
555
00:49:05,708 --> 00:49:08,583
From an unheard of village
556
00:49:09,083 --> 00:49:11,541
But you speak my lingo!
557
00:49:12,041 --> 00:49:16,458
Because I learnt it from you, sister
558
00:49:16,958 --> 00:49:22,458
Sister! You think this is a convent? Out!
559
00:49:22,958 --> 00:49:24,625
Bro!
560
00:49:25,125 --> 00:49:27,208
Bro, wake up!
561
00:49:27,708 --> 00:49:29,541
Bro, wake up!
562
00:49:30,041 --> 00:49:31,750
Bro!
563
00:49:32,250 --> 00:49:33,208
You're talking!
564
00:49:33,708 --> 00:49:36,125
Bro, I need your help
565
00:49:36,625 --> 00:49:38,333
Pepper cleared up your throat!
566
00:49:38,833 --> 00:49:40,083
Bro, come with me quick
567
00:49:40,583 --> 00:49:43,875
Memory and making out have a direct connection!
568
00:49:44,375 --> 00:49:48,291
Update the docs: get laid, get well!
569
00:49:48,791 --> 00:49:50,916
It's urgent, bro!
570
00:49:51,416 --> 00:49:54,916
Okay, let's go
571
00:49:59,541 --> 00:50:00,750
Stop... stop!
572
00:50:01,250 --> 00:50:04,750
Stop, bro!
573
00:50:06,541 --> 00:50:09,375
The jerk robbed me right here
574
00:50:09,875 --> 00:50:13,333
I need my chain, bro. I must get it back
575
00:50:13,833 --> 00:50:15,875
- Precious? - It's priceless!
576
00:50:16,375 --> 00:50:18,875
The thief must be a local
577
00:50:19,375 --> 00:50:21,791
But he'll sell the loot in Delhi
578
00:50:22,291 --> 00:50:26,416
If he sold pricey stuff here, he'd get caught
579
00:50:26,916 --> 00:50:28,750
Then I must go
580
00:50:29,250 --> 00:50:30,916
Where?
581
00:50:31,416 --> 00:50:34,916
Delhi
582
00:50:56,625 --> 00:50:58,250
- Officer! - Yeah?
583
00:50:58,750 --> 00:51:01,583
- My remote control is stolen. - Are you tipsy?
584
00:51:02,083 --> 00:51:04,958
Expect the police force to track your TV remote?
585
00:51:05,458 --> 00:51:08,875
- It's not a TV remote! - Then?
586
00:51:09,375 --> 00:51:12,208
Can't tell you. But it's like a chain
587
00:51:12,708 --> 00:51:13,958
Really precious
588
00:51:14,458 --> 00:51:17,625
- Where was it stolen? - In Mandawa
589
00:51:18,125 --> 00:51:22,041
And you're searching in Delhi, you idiot?
590
00:51:22,541 --> 00:51:23,916
The thief came to Delhi
591
00:51:24,416 --> 00:51:26,041
- So? - So where's the thief?
592
00:51:26,541 --> 00:51:29,166
Blockhead! It's a city of 15 million
593
00:51:29,666 --> 00:51:35,666
Police are human, not God
594
00:51:36,166 --> 00:51:40,291
Only God can help you
595
00:51:40,791 --> 00:51:46,041
Surrender to God, you'll succeed
596
00:51:46,541 --> 00:51:50,708
Only God knows
597
00:51:51,208 --> 00:51:55,333
Ask God, not me!
598
00:51:55,833 --> 00:51:59,125
Trust in God, my child
599
00:51:59,625 --> 00:52:05,166
Who was this God chap? All said only He could help
600
00:52:05,666 --> 00:52:08,541
What I saw blew my mind
601
00:52:09,041 --> 00:52:12,791
Earthlings had figured out who had manufactured them!
602
00:52:13,291 --> 00:52:17,333
Their creator lived with them. He had millions of houses
603
00:52:17,833 --> 00:52:24,166
Earthlings took their problems to Him, which He solved for a small fee
604
00:52:24,666 --> 00:52:28,125
My planet had no such facility
605
00:52:28,625 --> 00:52:35,000
I could not believe it! So decided to test it
606
00:52:35,500 --> 00:52:37,083
One take-away God
607
00:52:37,583 --> 00:52:40,958
Which one? Rs 20, 100, 500?
608
00:52:41,458 --> 00:52:44,458
Any difference? In the Rs 20 and Rs 500 ones?
609
00:52:44,958 --> 00:52:46,833
Just the size. Otherwise ditto
610
00:52:47,333 --> 00:52:51,208
Rs 20 God is equally efficient?
611
00:52:51,708 --> 00:52:55,208
OK, gimme Rs 15! Nothing less
612
00:53:08,333 --> 00:53:11,833
God, I am famished. Get me some food please
613
00:53:24,500 --> 00:53:26,083
I went bananas
614
00:53:26,583 --> 00:53:30,125
God actually worked! Now I could go home
615
00:53:30,625 --> 00:53:33,458
God, my remote is stolen
616
00:53:33,958 --> 00:53:37,458
Please find it. I want to go home
617
00:53:50,375 --> 00:53:54,791
God's battery died. Worked once, then kaput
618
00:53:55,291 --> 00:53:55,875
What do you mean?
619
00:53:56,375 --> 00:53:58,208
Stick a new battery in. Where does it go?
620
00:53:58,708 --> 00:54:01,791
- It needs no battery. - Then why is it off?
621
00:54:02,291 --> 00:54:06,416
- Manufacturing defect? - I make no defective stuff
622
00:54:06,916 --> 00:54:11,833
- You made this God? - Of course! With my own hands
623
00:54:12,333 --> 00:54:14,833
You made God, or God made you?
624
00:54:15,333 --> 00:54:20,333
He made us all - I only make His statues
625
00:54:20,833 --> 00:54:22,333
Why the statues?
626
00:54:22,833 --> 00:54:26,666
To worship Him. To voice our problems
627
00:54:27,166 --> 00:54:31,833
Is there a transmitter inside? How can He hear us?
628
00:54:32,333 --> 00:54:36,625
God needs no transmitter. He hears directly
629
00:54:37,125 --> 00:54:39,833
Directly? Then why the statue?
630
00:54:40,333 --> 00:54:43,291
What's with him?
631
00:54:43,791 --> 00:54:47,875
Want to bust my business? What's your problem?
632
00:54:48,375 --> 00:54:50,000
My remote is stolen, Sir
633
00:54:50,500 --> 00:54:53,833
I'm requesting God. But He doesn't reply
634
00:54:54,333 --> 00:54:55,875
- Are you tipsy? - Meaning?
635
00:54:56,375 --> 00:54:59,083
You're overloading this pint-sized God
636
00:54:59,583 --> 00:55:01,875
His itty-bitty feet can't chase the thief
637
00:55:02,375 --> 00:55:05,458
Bother the big God inside the temple
638
00:55:05,958 --> 00:55:07,875
He'll run fast
639
00:55:08,375 --> 00:55:11,708
Offer Him coconut and money - He'll deliver
640
00:55:12,208 --> 00:55:15,708
That'll be a Rs 200
641
00:55:19,458 --> 00:55:23,708
Earthlings waited with fees to get their work done
642
00:55:24,208 --> 00:55:26,666
Full 2 hours later I got the appointment
643
00:55:27,166 --> 00:55:29,708
God,
644
00:55:30,208 --> 00:55:35,000
please get my remote back
645
00:55:35,500 --> 00:55:37,416
- Where is it? - Move!
646
00:55:37,916 --> 00:55:39,625
Wait, He didn't deliver my stuff
647
00:55:40,125 --> 00:55:43,916
He didn't deliver! See, I paid His fee
648
00:55:44,416 --> 00:55:46,041
- Your work will be done. - But when?
649
00:55:46,541 --> 00:55:48,666
Can't say when, but it will be done
650
00:55:49,166 --> 00:55:51,583
- Move on. - But when will I get it?
651
00:55:52,083 --> 00:55:53,166
Don't block the line, scram!
652
00:55:53,666 --> 00:55:56,041
If I scram, someone else may get it
653
00:55:56,541 --> 00:55:57,041
Are you tipsy?
654
00:55:57,416 --> 00:56:00,875
Lady, please! Where will I get my stuff?
655
00:56:01,375 --> 00:56:02,875
At the mental hospital!
656
00:56:03,375 --> 00:56:06,875
What? Cash here, delivery at mental hospital!
657
00:56:07,375 --> 00:56:09,250
- Throw him out! - OK, give me a receipt
658
00:56:09,750 --> 00:56:10,250
Out!
659
00:56:10,500 --> 00:56:13,583
Without a receipt how do I claim my delivery?
660
00:56:14,083 --> 00:56:15,916
Get out!
661
00:56:16,416 --> 00:56:17,291
But my remote?
662
00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:21,291
Leave!
663
00:56:26,791 --> 00:56:29,541
I can't find my shoes
664
00:56:30,041 --> 00:56:33,083
Someone's taken them. Now you take your pick
665
00:56:33,583 --> 00:56:37,083
Rotation is routine at temples
666
00:56:49,958 --> 00:56:53,458
He took the payment, didn't deliver
667
00:56:58,375 --> 00:56:59,291
What's his name?
668
00:56:59,791 --> 00:57:01,750
- They call Him God - Real name?
669
00:57:02,250 --> 00:57:04,875
No idea
670
00:57:05,375 --> 00:57:06,791
Where does he live?
671
00:57:07,291 --> 00:57:09,125
In that temple
672
00:57:09,625 --> 00:57:12,916
- You handed him the cash? - No. Put it in His box
673
00:57:13,416 --> 00:57:15,666
- Said he'd do the job? - He says nothing
674
00:57:16,166 --> 00:57:17,416
Is he mute?
675
00:57:17,916 --> 00:57:19,625
Perhaps... Maybe
676
00:57:20,125 --> 00:57:22,875
Oh...
677
00:57:23,375 --> 00:57:26,875
Describe him
678
00:57:28,208 --> 00:57:31,541
Ditto
679
00:57:32,041 --> 00:57:34,916
But a bigger chap
680
00:57:35,416 --> 00:57:38,083
Come near...
681
00:57:38,583 --> 00:57:40,250
Are you tipsy?
682
00:57:40,750 --> 00:57:43,125
Yes. How do you all know?
683
00:57:43,625 --> 00:57:46,875
Think I'm a jackass? 20 years a cop!
684
00:57:47,375 --> 00:57:50,916
Who's tipsy who's not I can tell in a snap
685
00:57:51,416 --> 00:57:55,458
Frisk him
686
00:57:55,958 --> 00:57:59,333
Let me have a look
687
00:57:59,833 --> 00:58:01,875
Dr D'Mello...
688
00:58:02,375 --> 00:58:06,916
Doc, why get so buzzed you forget your faith?
689
00:58:07,416 --> 00:58:11,333
Mistook temple for a church! Wanna rouse a riot?
690
00:58:11,833 --> 00:58:17,791
Go to church. To your own God
691
00:58:18,291 --> 00:58:21,791
Church?
692
00:59:08,541 --> 00:59:09,708
Get out of here
693
00:59:10,208 --> 00:59:12,916
My stuff! My remote!
694
00:59:13,416 --> 00:59:16,458
God was crucified for your sins. Ungrateful man!
695
00:59:16,958 --> 00:59:20,875
Crucified! When?
696
00:59:21,375 --> 00:59:24,791
2,000 years ago. For your sins!
697
00:59:25,291 --> 00:59:29,666
What did I do? I just got here
698
00:59:30,166 --> 00:59:31,833
- Are you tipsy? - Yes!
699
00:59:32,333 --> 00:59:35,208
God is watching you. Behave
700
00:59:35,708 --> 00:59:37,041
Where?
701
00:59:37,541 --> 00:59:39,166
Where is God?
702
00:59:39,666 --> 00:59:40,583
What's in the mug?
703
00:59:41,083 --> 00:59:42,250
Wine
704
00:59:42,750 --> 00:59:46,916
Wine! Now I got it!
705
00:59:47,416 --> 00:59:49,875
God was bored of coconut water
706
00:59:50,375 --> 00:59:53,875
Now He preferred wine. But wine was expensive
707
00:59:54,375 --> 00:59:57,541
So I had to muster money
708
00:59:58,041 --> 01:00:02,291
I got some from the dancing car, some from a gentleman
709
01:00:02,791 --> 01:00:05,458
who held out a bowl of dole everyday
710
01:00:05,958 --> 01:00:09,458
You could withdraw as per need
711
01:00:21,375 --> 01:00:24,875
[Radio Announcement]
712
01:00:29,500 --> 01:00:31,083
Sir, any God house around here?
713
01:00:31,583 --> 01:00:33,250
Right there
714
01:00:33,750 --> 01:00:37,250
Preacher, let me drink in God's abode
715
01:00:46,541 --> 01:00:53,583
Or show me a place where there is no God
716
01:00:54,083 --> 01:00:56,458
Stop! What's that?
717
01:00:56,958 --> 01:00:58,833
Wine, for God
718
01:00:59,333 --> 01:01:02,833
Where is He?
719
01:01:41,375 --> 01:01:43,416
This lady looked very sad
720
01:01:43,916 --> 01:01:46,541
To know why, I grabbed her hand
721
01:01:47,041 --> 01:01:49,125
Hitting on a widow, you lech!
722
01:01:49,625 --> 01:01:51,333
Widow? How do you know?
723
01:01:51,833 --> 01:01:55,333
Don't you see she's clad in white?
724
01:02:06,083 --> 01:02:06,583
Is everything fine?
725
01:02:07,083 --> 01:02:09,791
Everything is fine.
726
01:02:10,291 --> 01:02:13,041
Just relax. Smile.
727
01:02:13,541 --> 01:02:15,666
So sorry your husband's dead
728
01:02:16,166 --> 01:02:17,333
- What? - When?
729
01:02:17,833 --> 01:02:20,458
How do I know? You are clad in white
730
01:02:20,958 --> 01:02:22,458
Brides wear white!
731
01:02:22,958 --> 01:02:25,458
No, widows wear white
732
01:02:25,958 --> 01:02:26,916
Widows wear black, stupid!
733
01:02:27,416 --> 01:02:30,916
Now don't stress her out. Go!
734
01:02:40,583 --> 01:02:42,916
All three lost your husbands?
735
01:02:43,416 --> 01:02:46,833
I'm alive you moron! Want a whack?
736
01:02:47,333 --> 01:02:48,958
After many whacks, I learnt
737
01:02:49,458 --> 01:02:52,625
there wasn't one God. There were many Gods
738
01:02:53,125 --> 01:02:55,416
Each with His own set of rules
739
01:02:55,916 --> 01:02:58,291
Each God had floated His own Company
740
01:02:58,791 --> 01:03:00,791
They called it religion
741
01:03:01,291 --> 01:03:04,083
Each Company had its own agents
742
01:03:04,583 --> 01:03:09,458
All Earthlings belonged to some religion
743
01:03:09,958 --> 01:03:14,708
and followed the God of that religion alone
744
01:03:15,208 --> 01:03:18,916
What was my religion, who was my God?
745
01:03:19,416 --> 01:03:22,916
To find the remote I had to know my God
746
01:03:37,958 --> 01:03:39,666
What are you doing?
747
01:03:40,166 --> 01:03:41,458
Where is the label?
748
01:03:41,958 --> 01:03:43,875
What label?
749
01:03:44,375 --> 01:03:46,291
The Religion label
750
01:03:46,791 --> 01:03:49,583
How do you know which Company he belongs to?
751
01:03:50,083 --> 01:03:52,666
Where does God label them?
752
01:03:53,166 --> 01:03:56,666
Security!
753
01:04:01,666 --> 01:04:04,416
Finding my religion was tough
754
01:04:04,916 --> 01:04:09,541
So I decided to worship all Gods
755
01:04:10,041 --> 01:04:13,375
One of them would be my God, who'd help me
756
01:04:13,875 --> 01:04:20,125
It's You who governs The world I hear
757
01:04:20,625 --> 01:04:26,291
Do listen to my plea My home beckons me
758
01:04:26,791 --> 01:04:33,041
God where are You
759
01:04:33,541 --> 01:04:40,333
Tell me where are You
760
01:04:40,833 --> 01:04:46,916
You guide back to sanity Those who've lost their way
761
01:04:47,416 --> 01:04:53,458
I too am completely lost Guide me too, I pray
762
01:04:53,958 --> 01:04:59,958
God where are You
763
01:05:00,458 --> 01:05:03,958
Tell me where are You
764
01:05:33,958 --> 01:05:36,916
Shall I worship You in temples
765
01:05:37,416 --> 01:05:40,333
In mosques do my faith I show
766
01:05:40,833 --> 01:05:47,083
Or to a gurudwara would You like me to go
767
01:05:47,583 --> 01:05:53,750
Temples and churches, I looked everywhere
768
01:05:54,250 --> 01:06:00,666
My hope now, has turned to despair
769
01:06:01,166 --> 01:06:07,250
My hope now, has turned to despair
770
01:06:07,750 --> 01:06:11,250
My hope now, has turned to despair
771
01:06:17,958 --> 01:06:24,458
Not a single ritual Did I ever flout
772
01:06:24,958 --> 01:06:30,666
Like millions around I submit without a doubt
773
01:06:31,166 --> 01:06:37,333
God where are You
774
01:06:37,833 --> 01:06:41,333
Tell me where are You
775
01:07:11,416 --> 01:07:17,791
You have many names And many faces too
776
01:07:18,291 --> 01:07:24,458
I've walked each of the myriad paths which lead to You
777
01:07:24,958 --> 01:07:31,083
In no shrine did I find You
778
01:07:31,583 --> 01:07:37,875
What else should I do To find you give a clue
779
01:07:38,375 --> 01:07:44,791
What else should I do To find you give a clue
780
01:07:45,291 --> 01:07:48,791
What else should I do To find you give a clue
781
01:07:55,500 --> 01:08:01,916
I blindly follow and With reverence treasure
782
01:08:02,416 --> 01:08:08,125
Your every whim and fancy In more than ample measure
783
01:08:08,625 --> 01:08:14,875
God where are you
784
01:08:15,375 --> 01:08:21,541
Tell me where are you
785
01:08:22,041 --> 01:08:28,208
God where are you
786
01:08:28,707 --> 01:08:32,207
Tell me where are you
787
01:08:44,332 --> 01:08:48,625
God - I'm all confused
788
01:08:49,125 --> 01:08:54,916
What's my fault? Why can't my voice reach you?
789
01:08:55,416 --> 01:08:57,875
Understand my plight
790
01:08:58,375 --> 01:09:00,541
Give me some guidance
791
01:09:01,041 --> 01:09:04,541
Please
792
01:09:05,416 --> 01:09:07,666
Shall I talk to you with hands clasped,
793
01:09:08,166 --> 01:09:14,958
or on bent knees, head to the ground?
794
01:09:15,457 --> 01:09:17,582
Do I wake you with temple bells?
795
01:09:18,082 --> 01:09:20,625
Or call out on a loudspeaker?
796
01:09:21,125 --> 01:09:26,541
The Geeta, the Quran, the Bible - what do I read?
797
01:09:27,041 --> 01:09:31,041
Your different managers say different things
798
01:09:31,541 --> 01:09:36,041
Some insist fast on Monday, others urge on Tuesday
799
01:09:36,541 --> 01:09:41,791
Some forbid food after sunset, some after sunrise
800
01:09:42,291 --> 01:09:46,250
Some say, worship the cow. Others say slaughter her
801
01:09:46,750 --> 01:09:52,250
Some send me barefoot to the temple, some wearing shoes to the church
802
01:09:52,750 --> 01:09:55,291
What is right, what is wrong
803
01:09:55,791 --> 01:09:59,458
I am clueless
804
01:09:59,957 --> 01:10:04,332
I'm at breaking point
805
01:10:04,832 --> 01:10:07,290
I want to go home
806
01:10:07,791 --> 01:10:11,708
I'll do whatever you ask. Just get me home
807
01:10:12,207 --> 01:10:14,957
Please
808
01:10:15,457 --> 01:10:17,915
Say something
809
01:10:18,416 --> 01:10:20,625
At least one of you...
810
01:10:21,125 --> 01:10:23,166
.. give me some answer
811
01:10:23,666 --> 01:10:26,625
Please
812
01:10:27,125 --> 01:10:29,750
Please
813
01:10:30,250 --> 01:10:33,750
Please
814
01:10:43,125 --> 01:10:46,625
Missing: God
815
01:10:52,750 --> 01:10:56,250
Missing: God
816
01:11:03,500 --> 01:11:07,000
Missing: God
817
01:11:39,916 --> 01:11:41,041
Why the lock man?
818
01:11:41,541 --> 01:11:43,666
I gotcha today
819
01:11:44,166 --> 01:11:45,125
Open! It's my entry!
820
01:11:45,625 --> 01:11:47,541
Lord Shiva, slayer of sins
821
01:11:48,041 --> 01:11:49,416
who fears none
822
01:11:49,916 --> 01:11:51,875
Security! Who are you?
823
01:11:52,375 --> 01:11:54,666
Don't you recognize me?
824
01:11:55,166 --> 01:11:58,125
I'm Tipsy!
825
01:11:58,625 --> 01:12:00,666
Where the hell is security?
826
01:12:01,166 --> 01:12:05,916
Do I perform for boozards in the toilet?
827
01:12:06,416 --> 01:12:08,250
Unlock that door now!
828
01:12:08,750 --> 01:12:10,000
My remote first!
829
01:12:10,500 --> 01:12:13,791
- What remote? - Of my spaceship
830
01:12:14,291 --> 01:12:14,958
Space... ship?
831
01:12:15,457 --> 01:12:18,875
Memory loss? For the zillionth time,
832
01:12:19,375 --> 01:12:21,791
I'm not from here. I'm from a far off planet
833
01:12:22,291 --> 01:12:23,166
Scooch!
834
01:12:23,666 --> 01:12:27,416
Gimme my remote, and I go home. Got it?
835
01:12:27,916 --> 01:12:30,750
Brother let me go. I've little kids at home
836
01:12:31,250 --> 01:12:33,375
I know! You fathered two Gods
837
01:12:33,875 --> 01:12:36,041
Both are centuries old. They can be home alone
838
01:12:36,541 --> 01:12:39,750
First my remote, then your family reunion
839
01:12:40,250 --> 01:12:41,332
Oh God, save me please...
840
01:12:41,832 --> 01:12:43,040
There's a God above you too?
841
01:12:43,541 --> 01:12:44,583
Lord Shiva, help
842
01:12:45,082 --> 01:12:48,250
Where?
843
01:12:48,750 --> 01:12:52,041
Now presenting the dance of Shiva, the fearless
844
01:12:52,541 --> 01:12:53,166
Help!
845
01:12:53,666 --> 01:12:56,708
Help!
846
01:12:57,207 --> 01:13:00,707
Help!
847
01:13:05,207 --> 01:13:08,415
Help!
848
01:13:08,916 --> 01:13:12,416
Help!
849
01:13:28,750 --> 01:13:32,250
Hail Lord Shiva
850
01:13:49,041 --> 01:13:52,916
Hail Lord Shiva
851
01:13:53,416 --> 01:13:58,958
I was meditating on the snowy peaks of the Himalayas
852
01:13:59,457 --> 01:14:02,415
when, suddenly - light!
853
01:14:02,916 --> 01:14:05,416
Dazzling light!
854
01:14:05,916 --> 01:14:11,458
It came from a bead lying in the snow
855
01:14:11,957 --> 01:14:16,040
I shut my eyes and invoked God
856
01:14:16,541 --> 01:14:19,291
Next moment, I was connected
857
01:14:19,791 --> 01:14:22,250
I said, "God, enlighten me,"
858
01:14:22,750 --> 01:14:24,625
What is this miraculous object,
859
01:14:25,125 --> 01:14:28,457
that is warm even in this biting cold?
860
01:14:28,957 --> 01:14:29,875
God said,
861
01:14:30,375 --> 01:14:34,832
it's a divine bead from Lord Shiva's necklace
862
01:14:35,332 --> 01:14:40,790
Take it and enshrine it in a grand temple
863
01:14:41,291 --> 01:14:50,875
Sighting this bead will heal all suffering
864
01:14:51,375 --> 01:14:53,625
Are you ready for the sighting?
865
01:14:54,125 --> 01:14:57,625
The divine bead from Lord Shiva's necklace!
866
01:15:00,791 --> 01:15:05,250
Hail Lord Shiva
867
01:15:05,750 --> 01:15:09,250
Hail Lord Shiva
868
01:15:18,916 --> 01:15:21,208
Hail Lord Shiva
869
01:15:21,707 --> 01:15:23,540
Hail Lord Shiva
870
01:15:24,041 --> 01:15:28,333
Stop.
Let him through. He's awed by the sight
871
01:15:28,332 --> 01:15:30,750
Come. - Hail Lord Shiva
872
01:15:31,250 --> 01:15:34,125
Not there child. Come here
873
01:15:34,625 --> 01:15:36,125
Express your ecstasy
874
01:15:36,625 --> 01:15:38,666
Hail Lord Shiva
875
01:15:39,166 --> 01:15:42,583
Hail Lord Shiva
876
01:15:43,082 --> 01:15:45,000
God, where are you? Please step out,
877
01:15:45,500 --> 01:15:48,457
I want to thank you
878
01:15:48,957 --> 01:15:50,540
He's right here
879
01:15:51,041 --> 01:15:52,250
I met Him in the toilet
880
01:15:52,750 --> 01:15:55,207
I asked for my property and He bolted
881
01:15:55,707 --> 01:15:57,375
I thought He vamoosed
882
01:15:57,875 --> 01:16:01,207
But no! He led me to my property
883
01:16:01,707 --> 01:16:04,582
Hail Lord Shiva
884
01:16:05,082 --> 01:16:06,875
This isn't Lord Shiva's bead
885
01:16:07,375 --> 01:16:09,875
It's my property, misdelivered to you
886
01:16:10,375 --> 01:16:12,125
Your bead must be misdelivered too
887
01:16:12,625 --> 01:16:18,916
Ask God, He is right here. God, do step forward, clarify
888
01:16:19,416 --> 01:16:23,875
Anyway, I'll take my property
889
01:16:24,375 --> 01:16:28,875
That's mine! Why're you stopping me?
890
01:16:29,375 --> 01:16:32,875
Hail Lord Shiva
891
01:16:45,957 --> 01:16:55,875
A traveller of dreams, neither a devotee, nor an unbeliever..
892
01:16:56,375 --> 01:17:05,875
O Lord, tell me where I am..
893
01:17:06,375 --> 01:17:11,207
How is this hide and seek of yours,
894
01:17:11,707 --> 01:17:15,790
Take me home, O my friend..
895
01:17:16,291 --> 01:17:19,791
My heart seeks refuge..
896
01:17:32,957 --> 01:17:40,332
Since when have you felt you're from another planet?
897
01:17:40,832 --> 01:17:47,457
Listen. You need to see a psychiatrist
898
01:17:47,957 --> 01:17:51,457
Time up! Rs 500 can buy only this much jail time
899
01:17:58,957 --> 01:18:01,125
Here's my card
900
01:18:01,625 --> 01:18:05,707
My number's on it. I'll get you an appointment if you wish
901
01:18:06,207 --> 01:18:09,457
Feel free to call. Okay?
902
01:18:09,957 --> 01:18:13,290
Take care
903
01:18:13,791 --> 01:18:16,958
Thank you officer Pandey
904
01:18:17,457 --> 01:18:22,165
You don't believe my story?
905
01:18:22,666 --> 01:18:26,916
Then go back to the suicidal dog, Nikku
906
01:18:27,416 --> 01:18:30,916
That's the story for you
907
01:18:36,625 --> 01:18:40,625
I need to go back in for 2 minutes
908
01:18:41,125 --> 01:18:44,207
Quit these entry - exits
909
01:18:44,707 --> 01:18:49,165
Another Rs 500, he's all yours
910
01:18:49,666 --> 01:18:53,166
When did I mention Nikku, the suicidal dog?
911
01:18:53,666 --> 01:18:55,083
You didn't
912
01:18:55,582 --> 01:18:57,457
So how do you know?
913
01:18:57,957 --> 01:19:03,250
When you held my hands, I read your thoughts
914
01:19:03,750 --> 01:19:05,082
You thought: this story is dead
915
01:19:05,582 --> 01:19:06,875
I got to live with the Nikku story
916
01:19:07,375 --> 01:19:09,916
Don't lie! I must have mentioned it
917
01:19:10,416 --> 01:19:13,541
I cannot lie. Lies need language
918
01:19:14,041 --> 01:19:18,083
On our planet we hold hands, read minds
919
01:19:18,582 --> 01:19:19,625
- Gimme your hand. - No way
920
01:19:20,125 --> 01:19:22,082
- Try it... - Help me, son
921
01:19:22,582 --> 01:19:27,707
My wife's ill. Hospital wants a deposit of Rs 10,000
922
01:19:28,207 --> 01:19:31,915
I'm Rs 500 short. If you can help...
923
01:19:32,416 --> 01:19:34,750
I'll give you
924
01:19:35,250 --> 01:19:35,750
Here
925
01:19:36,082 --> 01:19:38,415
Give your address. I'll courier a check
926
01:19:38,916 --> 01:19:41,875
Courier can't reach my home. Please keep it
927
01:19:42,375 --> 01:19:44,291
Thank you
928
01:19:44,791 --> 01:19:46,041
Sir...
929
01:19:46,541 --> 01:19:51,250
Here's another Rs 100. For the tip
930
01:19:51,750 --> 01:19:54,457
Bless you
931
01:19:54,957 --> 01:19:58,707
Confirmed. You are no mind reader
932
01:19:59,207 --> 01:20:03,957
You got conned. There is no hospital around here
933
01:20:04,457 --> 01:20:05,457
I know!
934
01:20:05,957 --> 01:20:08,415
He's gifting his wife a five star dinner
935
01:20:08,916 --> 01:20:10,625
It's her 75th birthday
936
01:20:11,125 --> 01:20:13,625
She'd never been to a fancy place
937
01:20:14,125 --> 01:20:16,582
He's been saving from his pension for months
938
01:20:17,082 --> 01:20:20,000
She ordered ice-cream and his budget went kaput
939
01:20:20,500 --> 01:20:22,957
With a restroom excuse, he ran out for some bucks
940
01:20:23,457 --> 01:20:25,625
Another yarn!
941
01:20:26,125 --> 01:20:29,832
On our planet, we don't lie
942
01:20:30,332 --> 01:20:33,832
Anyway, it's up to you
943
01:21:32,457 --> 01:21:33,665
- Here. - Thank you Sir
944
01:21:34,166 --> 01:21:36,541
One moment. Tip him
945
01:21:37,041 --> 01:21:41,208
Why hold back - it's your birthday!
946
01:21:41,707 --> 01:21:45,207
Thank you
947
01:22:11,582 --> 01:22:15,082
Address: Step-well ruins
948
01:22:38,166 --> 01:22:42,875
I told you. On my planet, we don't lie
949
01:22:43,375 --> 01:22:46,875
Hope you haven't told anyone...
950
01:22:52,582 --> 01:22:54,457
.. that you're an alien?
951
01:22:54,957 --> 01:22:56,040
No way!
952
01:22:56,541 --> 01:23:02,458
They'd lock me in a lab, and rip me up for research!
953
01:23:02,957 --> 01:23:06,832
How come you told me?
954
01:23:07,332 --> 01:23:08,540
Ever since I set foot on this planet
955
01:23:09,041 --> 01:23:11,875
everyone has taken money from me
956
01:23:12,375 --> 01:23:15,916
You were the first to give it up for me - dumping Rs 5,000 in a box
957
01:23:16,416 --> 01:23:19,916
I thought you are a good egg. I could trust you
958
01:23:23,416 --> 01:23:26,666
I'll get your remote back, Tipsy
959
01:23:27,166 --> 01:23:28,458
How?
960
01:23:28,957 --> 01:23:32,915
I haven't figured it out yet, but you'll go back home
961
01:23:33,416 --> 01:23:36,916
That's my promise
962
01:24:13,666 --> 01:24:15,750
What are you goggling at?
963
01:24:16,250 --> 01:24:17,707
You
964
01:24:18,207 --> 01:24:21,207
Aliens don't drop by everyday
965
01:24:21,707 --> 01:24:28,207
Everyone on your planet has stick-out ears?
966
01:24:28,707 --> 01:24:29,207
Yup, ditto
967
01:24:29,707 --> 01:24:35,000
And they roam around naked? Isn't it weird?
968
01:24:35,500 --> 01:24:38,875
That crow is naked - does he look weird?
969
01:24:39,375 --> 01:24:44,166
If he dons a tie, he'd look weird
970
01:24:44,666 --> 01:24:47,875
Tipsy, I was awake all night...
971
01:24:48,375 --> 01:24:51,916
.. thinking how to get your remote back
972
01:24:52,416 --> 01:24:52,916
Hello
973
01:24:53,332 --> 01:24:56,082
Connect to Balbir Singh. Room No. 4
974
01:24:56,582 --> 01:24:57,750
Wrong number
975
01:24:58,250 --> 01:24:59,791
Isn't this Fortis Hospital?
976
01:25:00,291 --> 01:25:02,708
Since yesterday you've been dialing this wrong number
977
01:25:03,207 --> 01:25:07,875
Impossible! I can't be wrong every time!
978
01:25:08,375 --> 01:25:11,875
So how do we get the remote?
979
01:25:14,291 --> 01:25:16,708
Connect to Balbir Singh. Room No. 4
980
01:25:17,207 --> 01:25:19,875
Sorry, Sir. You've called too late
981
01:25:20,375 --> 01:25:22,082
Balbir died this morning
982
01:25:22,582 --> 01:25:26,625
Huh! How can a piles surgery be fatal?
983
01:25:27,125 --> 01:25:29,457
Embarrassing, but don't worry
984
01:25:29,957 --> 01:25:31,707
Death Certificate will say heart attack
985
01:25:32,207 --> 01:25:34,040
so the family saves face
986
01:25:34,541 --> 01:25:36,458
- Come for the body. - On my way
987
01:25:36,957 --> 01:25:40,457
Ok, bye
988
01:25:41,625 --> 01:25:42,875
Why did you say that?
989
01:25:43,375 --> 01:25:44,457
Doling out joy
990
01:25:44,957 --> 01:25:48,665
When he finds his friend alive, imagine his joy!
991
01:25:49,166 --> 01:25:49,750
What!
992
01:25:50,250 --> 01:25:54,457
I was sick of his calls. So I played a prank
993
01:25:54,957 --> 01:25:58,457
- A prank? - Tipsy, I was just kidding!
994
01:26:07,750 --> 01:26:08,375
I got it!
995
01:26:08,875 --> 01:26:10,791
Someone is playing pranks
996
01:26:11,291 --> 01:26:13,541
When His Holiness dials God,
997
01:26:14,041 --> 01:26:16,958
cocking his head, 'God, enlighten me',
998
01:26:17,457 --> 01:26:19,875
his calls are going to a Wrong Number
999
01:26:20,375 --> 01:26:22,750
Someone out there plays pranks
1000
01:26:23,250 --> 01:26:28,332
The real God won't call my remote a bead
1001
01:26:28,832 --> 01:26:35,125
Looks like the phone lines to God have gone kaput
1002
01:26:35,625 --> 01:26:38,041
All calls to God are going to a Wrong Number!
1003
01:26:38,541 --> 01:26:39,041
As in?
1004
01:26:39,125 --> 01:26:44,207
Think - would the real God give such weird solutions?
1005
01:26:44,707 --> 01:26:48,457
Like - come rolling to me, then I'll help you!
1006
01:26:48,957 --> 01:26:51,125
Aren't we God's children?
1007
01:26:51,625 --> 01:26:56,916
Would a father make his kids roll for help?
1008
01:26:57,416 --> 01:27:02,708
Your Dad ever said - kiddo, want a new dress? Start rolling!
1009
01:27:03,207 --> 01:27:07,750
Another prank - bathe me with cow's milk! What bull!
1010
01:27:08,250 --> 01:27:13,957
And if these calls went to the real God, what would He say?
1011
01:27:14,457 --> 01:27:18,957
He'd say - millions of my children are starving on streets
1012
01:27:19,457 --> 01:27:22,582
Give them milk. Don't give me a lactose shower
1013
01:27:23,082 --> 01:27:27,082
I'm sure someone's playing pranks, like you just did
1014
01:27:27,582 --> 01:27:29,875
Tipsy thought His Holiness was a victim of pranks
1015
01:27:30,375 --> 01:27:32,000
I didn't clear his confusion
1016
01:27:32,500 --> 01:27:35,041
for a crazy idea was forming in my head
1017
01:27:35,541 --> 01:27:40,083
An idea that would get back Tipsy's remote
1018
01:27:40,582 --> 01:27:41,665
Who's this Tipsy?
1019
01:27:42,166 --> 01:27:43,875
That's a mystery
1020
01:27:44,375 --> 01:27:47,041
But the way he sees this world is unique
1021
01:27:47,541 --> 01:27:50,541
- As in? - If he saw you smoking,
1022
01:27:51,041 --> 01:27:53,541
he'd call the cops to say you're attempting suicide
1023
01:27:54,041 --> 01:27:54,541
Why?
1024
01:27:54,582 --> 01:27:58,625
The pack says 'Smoking Kills' yet you puff away
1025
01:27:59,125 --> 01:28:02,332
So what's the big idea?
1026
01:28:02,832 --> 01:28:04,082
Face-off
1027
01:28:04,582 --> 01:28:07,290
Between Tipsy and His Holiness.
1028
01:28:07,791 --> 01:28:10,541
We'll take the face-off to TV
1029
01:28:11,041 --> 01:28:12,166
Ratings will go through the roof!
1030
01:28:12,666 --> 01:28:13,666
Jaggu..
1031
01:28:14,166 --> 01:28:16,875
I have three trident marks on my right bum
1032
01:28:17,375 --> 01:28:19,916
You want three more on my left for balance?
1033
01:28:20,416 --> 01:28:21,125
Don't worry
1034
01:28:21,625 --> 01:28:26,332
Tipsy won't fight His Holiness but gently explain, that...
1035
01:28:26,832 --> 01:28:29,957
.. his calls to God are going to a Wrong Number
1036
01:28:30,457 --> 01:28:33,332
His Holiness will be stumped
1037
01:28:33,832 --> 01:28:35,875
Cherry!
1038
01:28:36,375 --> 01:28:38,416
Tipsy's here. Just meet him once
1039
01:28:38,916 --> 01:28:41,333
I bet his queries will baffle you
1040
01:28:41,832 --> 01:28:45,332
Trust me. Please!
1041
01:28:53,875 --> 01:28:55,332
Excuse me, you dropped this
1042
01:28:55,832 --> 01:28:59,332
Oh, thank you
1043
01:29:01,207 --> 01:29:03,915
That's not mine
1044
01:29:04,416 --> 01:29:08,000
Kamasutra condoms, strawberry flavor
1045
01:29:08,500 --> 01:29:11,207
I hate strawberries, man. Ask these guys
1046
01:29:11,707 --> 01:29:16,000
It's not mine. Buzzed bozo!
1047
01:29:16,500 --> 01:29:18,416
- Ma'am, yours? - How dare you!
1048
01:29:18,916 --> 01:29:23,750
- Check your purse if it's missing. - Shameless cad!
1049
01:29:24,250 --> 01:29:26,416
- Has to be yours. - No, not mine
1050
01:29:26,916 --> 01:29:28,875
Tipsy, it's his
1051
01:29:29,375 --> 01:29:32,875
Ask him all you want to know about it. Come on in
1052
01:29:38,166 --> 01:29:40,041
What's this?
1053
01:29:40,541 --> 01:29:41,875
It's a condom
1054
01:29:42,375 --> 01:29:47,207
- What does it do? - Controls the world's population
1055
01:29:47,707 --> 01:29:48,750
How?
1056
01:29:49,250 --> 01:29:55,457
It has to be worn while having sex
1057
01:29:55,957 --> 01:29:58,707
How does your wearing it control the world's population?
1058
01:29:59,207 --> 01:30:02,082
Not just me... millions wear it
1059
01:30:02,582 --> 01:30:04,665
They all borrow it from you?
1060
01:30:05,166 --> 01:30:06,541
Everyone has it
1061
01:30:07,041 --> 01:30:10,583
- I've a question - Go on Tipsy, shoot
1062
01:30:11,082 --> 01:30:15,000
If money is dropped, all run for it
1063
01:30:15,500 --> 01:30:20,791
If a condom is dropped, all run away from it. Why?
1064
01:30:21,291 --> 01:30:23,625
Sex is a very private matter
1065
01:30:24,125 --> 01:30:24,625
Why?
1066
01:30:25,125 --> 01:30:28,832
You don't tell the whole town - I'm having sex today
1067
01:30:29,332 --> 01:30:33,790
But, then at weddings, with fireworks and music bands
1068
01:30:34,291 --> 01:30:37,791
why do they tell the whole town - I'm having sex today?
1069
01:30:41,332 --> 01:30:42,750
What's the matter?
1070
01:30:43,250 --> 01:30:48,750
I have no answer for you but I have a job for you
1071
01:30:49,250 --> 01:30:51,500
Thank you!
1072
01:30:52,000 --> 01:30:56,957
Let's beat it before he changes his mind
1073
01:30:57,457 --> 01:30:59,582
Shield your holy bum, Your Holiness
1074
01:31:00,082 --> 01:31:03,582
My trident is on its way
1075
01:31:06,000 --> 01:31:08,916
At this place His Holiness connects his devotees to God
1076
01:31:09,416 --> 01:31:11,291
for solutions to their woes
1077
01:31:11,791 --> 01:31:14,291
Listen carefully to his calls
1078
01:31:14,791 --> 01:31:21,041
If you think the calls are going to a Wrong Number, alert him
1079
01:31:21,541 --> 01:31:24,708
- Will that get me my remote? - Once he realises...
1080
01:31:25,207 --> 01:31:29,332
.. the bead story is a prank he'll return your remote
1081
01:31:29,832 --> 01:31:33,790
Good plan. Let's go
1082
01:31:34,291 --> 01:31:36,875
To build a home for someone is a holy deed
1083
01:31:37,375 --> 01:31:41,916
To build a home for God is the holiest deed
1084
01:31:42,416 --> 01:31:44,875
So donate for the temple
1085
01:31:45,375 --> 01:31:48,541
And see your woes flee
1086
01:31:49,041 --> 01:31:53,083
Son, voice your woe
1087
01:31:53,582 --> 01:31:55,125
Your Holiness,
1088
01:31:55,625 --> 01:31:58,000
my wife's been paralyzed for six months
1089
01:31:58,500 --> 01:32:03,250
The doctors have given up. What shall I...
1090
01:32:03,750 --> 01:32:05,582
God
1091
01:32:06,082 --> 01:32:09,582
Enlighten me
1092
01:32:14,541 --> 01:32:18,041
Yes...
1093
01:32:19,250 --> 01:32:22,750
What place?
1094
01:32:26,207 --> 01:32:29,707
What transport?
1095
01:32:30,791 --> 01:32:34,291
Your wish is our command
1096
01:32:35,916 --> 01:32:38,000
Have you heard of the Rathong glacier?
1097
01:32:38,500 --> 01:32:39,791
No
1098
01:32:40,291 --> 01:32:44,833
It's in the Himalayas. Take a train to Silliguri
1099
01:32:45,332 --> 01:32:48,415
then a bus to Gangtok
1100
01:32:48,916 --> 01:32:53,625
then an eight day trek
1101
01:32:54,125 --> 01:32:59,082
You'll reach a grand temple
1102
01:32:59,582 --> 01:33:02,332
Pray there, your problem will be solved
1103
01:33:02,832 --> 01:33:05,250
Wrong Number! This is a Wrong Number!
1104
01:33:05,750 --> 01:33:07,291
- What? - Wrong Number
1105
01:33:07,791 --> 01:33:13,333
Your Holiness, your phone line to God has gone kaput
1106
01:33:13,832 --> 01:33:15,790
Your calls are going to a Wrong Number
1107
01:33:16,291 --> 01:33:19,708
and a fake God is playing pranks
1108
01:33:20,207 --> 01:33:23,250
What are you trying to say?
1109
01:33:23,750 --> 01:33:26,707
I'll explain. Aren't we God's children?
1110
01:33:27,207 --> 01:33:27,915
Yes, so?
1111
01:33:28,416 --> 01:33:32,083
Say your kid's in a jam and comes to you
1112
01:33:32,582 --> 01:33:34,957
Will you help promptly, or will you say
1113
01:33:35,457 --> 01:33:38,332
kiddo, I've another house 2,000 miles away
1114
01:33:38,832 --> 01:33:41,707
Come there, tell me the same problem again
1115
01:33:42,207 --> 01:33:44,457
Then I'll solve it. What bull!
1116
01:33:44,957 --> 01:33:50,082
If the call went to real God, He'd say: Son, tend to your ailing wife,
1117
01:33:50,582 --> 01:33:52,750
don't run after me
1118
01:33:53,250 --> 01:33:55,832
after death you'll come to me anyway
1119
01:33:56,332 --> 01:33:59,832
give her your time now. Right?
1120
01:34:04,332 --> 01:34:06,415
I can prove it's a prank
1121
01:34:06,916 --> 01:34:10,000
Call this fake God again and ask
1122
01:34:10,500 --> 01:34:12,666
What's the guarantee she will get well
1123
01:34:13,166 --> 01:34:17,041
Sir, till you get it in writing, don't leave her side
1124
01:34:17,541 --> 01:34:20,916
Just call, and clear all doubt
1125
01:34:21,416 --> 01:34:25,416
It's time for His Holiness' holy silence
1126
01:34:25,916 --> 01:34:37,791
Praise be to God Glory be to God
1127
01:34:38,291 --> 01:34:41,791
This fake God is passing off my property as a holy bead
1128
01:34:48,082 --> 01:34:50,625
He is no God. He is a fraud
1129
01:34:51,125 --> 01:34:52,875
He is a FRAUD
1130
01:34:53,375 --> 01:34:57,207
God doesn't talk to us mortals
1131
01:34:57,707 --> 01:35:01,290
He communicates through His managers
1132
01:35:01,791 --> 01:35:06,208
- Tipsy has raised a big question. - What?
1133
01:35:06,707 --> 01:35:09,500
Is God really talking to the managers?
1134
01:35:10,000 --> 01:35:10,500
No
1135
01:35:10,957 --> 01:35:14,915
So where do the commands for us come from?
1136
01:35:15,416 --> 01:35:18,750
- From a Wrong Number! - So what should the public do?
1137
01:35:19,250 --> 01:35:22,666
Till phone lines are fixed, don't depend on God's managers
1138
01:35:23,166 --> 01:35:25,958
Help each other in difficult times
1139
01:35:26,457 --> 01:35:33,040
A great tip from Tipsy: Don't rely on God's managers
1140
01:35:33,541 --> 01:35:38,041
Rely on each other
1141
01:35:38,541 --> 01:35:43,250
Hail Lord Shiva
1142
01:35:43,750 --> 01:35:47,916
Tipsy says don't make the temple, the bead belongs to him
1143
01:35:48,416 --> 01:35:52,458
What's in your pocket?
1144
01:35:52,957 --> 01:35:55,582
- Do you smoke? - Yes
1145
01:35:56,082 --> 01:35:59,832
- You consume alcohol? - Occasionally
1146
01:36:00,332 --> 01:36:03,165
You smoke cigarettes, consume alcohol
1147
01:36:03,666 --> 01:36:07,500
despite knowing their fatal effects
1148
01:36:08,000 --> 01:36:10,207
Governments permit these poisons,
1149
01:36:10,707 --> 01:36:15,540
factories manufacture them, stores sell them
1150
01:36:16,041 --> 01:36:18,041
Nobody questions this
1151
01:36:18,541 --> 01:36:25,708
But in this sacred land of Lord Ram and Krishna
1152
01:36:26,207 --> 01:36:29,125
if I wish to build a temple
1153
01:36:29,625 --> 01:36:31,791
why these questions?
1154
01:36:32,291 --> 01:36:39,583
Why not question the man who is trying to stall this temple?
1155
01:36:40,082 --> 01:36:41,707
Who's this Tipsy?
1156
01:36:42,207 --> 01:36:45,082
What's his real name?
1157
01:36:45,582 --> 01:36:49,875
Why's he hiding it? Is he a Muslim?
1158
01:36:50,375 --> 01:36:54,291
If question you must, go ask Tipsy
1159
01:36:54,791 --> 01:36:56,333
what is his religion?
1160
01:36:56,832 --> 01:37:03,332
Find out his religion, Find out his faith
1161
01:37:03,832 --> 01:37:07,250
Centuries ago, Mohammad of Ghazni
1162
01:37:07,750 --> 01:37:09,916
came and destroyed our temples
1163
01:37:10,416 --> 01:37:14,541
Today another invader wants to repeat history
1164
01:37:15,041 --> 01:37:18,541
But we won't allow...
1165
01:37:43,082 --> 01:37:47,250
Your God asks my religion. Let's ask Him...
1166
01:37:47,750 --> 01:37:49,875
.. the religions of these people
1167
01:37:50,375 --> 01:37:54,207
- What nonsense? - Call up your God!
1168
01:37:54,707 --> 01:37:59,040
Why bother God? I'll tell you
1169
01:37:59,541 --> 01:38:01,166
This one is a Hindu. He's a Christian...
1170
01:38:01,666 --> 01:38:03,166
.. Sikh, Jain and...
1171
01:38:03,666 --> 01:38:07,625
.. that one is of your religion
1172
01:38:08,125 --> 01:38:10,791
Enlighten him
1173
01:38:11,291 --> 01:38:14,541
Hello. I'm Sikh
1174
01:38:15,041 --> 01:38:18,083
Greetings. I'm Muslim
1175
01:38:18,582 --> 01:38:20,250
I'm Jain
1176
01:38:20,750 --> 01:38:23,291
Hi, I'm Christian
1177
01:38:23,791 --> 01:38:26,958
Hello! I'm Hindu
1178
01:38:27,457 --> 01:38:28,832
Bamboozled!
1179
01:38:29,332 --> 01:38:32,750
I swapped their robes. Get it?
1180
01:38:33,250 --> 01:38:34,750
Faith is connected to fashion
1181
01:38:35,250 --> 01:38:38,582
Want a demo? Check the math
1182
01:38:39,082 --> 01:38:41,625
Beard + moustache + turban = Sikh
1183
01:38:42,125 --> 01:38:44,666
Minus turban = Hindu
1184
01:38:45,166 --> 01:38:48,375
Minus moustache = Muslim!
1185
01:38:48,875 --> 01:38:51,875
This difference is made by the fake God
1186
01:38:52,375 --> 01:38:54,250
If real God wanted it, He'd put a label on us
1187
01:38:54,750 --> 01:38:57,332
- Is there a label on your body? - Mine?
1188
01:38:57,832 --> 01:39:00,790
Don't gape, strip and check!
1189
01:39:01,291 --> 01:39:03,208
Why be coy?
1190
01:39:03,707 --> 01:39:08,457
Strip everyone, show His Holiness. Is there any label?
1191
01:39:08,957 --> 01:39:14,750
Cut the coyness. OK, I'll go first
1192
01:39:15,250 --> 01:39:18,666
See the bare facts
1193
01:39:19,166 --> 01:39:22,583
Is there a label?
1194
01:39:23,082 --> 01:39:26,040
Nothing! You see!
1195
01:39:26,541 --> 01:39:28,166
Check some more...
1196
01:39:28,666 --> 01:39:31,000
Remove this ruffian
1197
01:39:31,500 --> 01:39:33,916
Hey! I'm proving a point
1198
01:39:34,416 --> 01:39:36,250
Start the chants!
1199
01:39:36,750 --> 01:39:38,791
Praise be to God Glory be to God
1200
01:39:39,291 --> 01:39:42,791
That's no divine bead
1201
01:39:51,082 --> 01:39:52,875
Jaggu!
1202
01:39:53,375 --> 01:39:54,666
Stop this farce!
1203
01:39:55,166 --> 01:39:57,916
Papa!
1204
01:39:58,416 --> 01:40:02,291
You were all of 40 days, when His Holiness christened you
1205
01:40:02,791 --> 01:40:06,708
Remember, he who gives you a name, can ruin it too
1206
01:40:07,207 --> 01:40:09,290
He named me Jagat Janani
1207
01:40:09,791 --> 01:40:11,041
How can he ruin it further?
1208
01:40:11,541 --> 01:40:14,291
You! Name your price
1209
01:40:14,791 --> 01:40:15,291
Papa!
1210
01:40:15,707 --> 01:40:18,165
Trying to scare His Holiness to extort money
1211
01:40:18,666 --> 01:40:19,166
No, no
1212
01:40:19,582 --> 01:40:23,082
You'll burn in Hell! Fear the wrath of God!
1213
01:40:29,500 --> 01:40:32,416
Thank you Papa! Thank you
1214
01:40:32,916 --> 01:40:36,291
I'd solved only half the puzzle. You pieced it together
1215
01:40:36,791 --> 01:40:38,250
Fear is the key
1216
01:40:38,750 --> 01:40:44,375
The prankster is cashing in on fear. Get it?
1217
01:40:44,875 --> 01:40:46,750
Not exactly, but can you explain to Papa?
1218
01:40:47,250 --> 01:40:51,750
You bet! I can prove it. Follow me
1219
01:40:52,250 --> 01:40:54,332
I don't have time for this nonsense
1220
01:40:54,832 --> 01:40:58,332
If it turns out to be nonsense, I'll call off the show
1221
01:41:11,666 --> 01:41:15,708
Exams are on at this college. The students are scared stiff
1222
01:41:16,207 --> 01:41:22,540
Now, we'll establish our business - The Fear Factory
1223
01:41:23,041 --> 01:41:26,541
Come
1224
01:41:32,375 --> 01:41:35,875
Machine installed
1225
01:41:39,791 --> 01:41:43,291
A little seed capital
1226
01:41:46,541 --> 01:41:50,041
Now the inauguration
1227
01:41:59,250 --> 01:42:02,750
Just watch! Capital doubles in 15 minutes
1228
01:42:10,000 --> 01:42:12,957
Look there
1229
01:42:13,457 --> 01:42:15,375
The first customer!
1230
01:42:15,875 --> 01:42:17,875
Tea... piping hot tea
1231
01:42:18,375 --> 01:42:21,750
Check the investment of the tea vendor
1232
01:42:22,250 --> 01:42:25,166
Kettle, tea, sugar, bike, thermos
1233
01:42:25,666 --> 01:42:29,083
And here - a rock and a red mark
1234
01:42:29,582 --> 01:42:31,165
Hot and piping tea...
1235
01:42:31,666 --> 01:42:33,625
There, you gotta woo the clients
1236
01:42:34,125 --> 01:42:36,582
Here you shoo them away
1237
01:42:37,082 --> 01:42:43,415
Hey, scram. Give others a chance
1238
01:42:43,916 --> 01:42:46,041
There you bow before the customer
1239
01:42:46,541 --> 01:42:50,750
Here the customer bows before you
1240
01:42:51,250 --> 01:42:56,041
If he's in deep trouble, he goes horizontal
1241
01:42:56,541 --> 01:43:00,750
The Wrong Number guy trades in fear
1242
01:43:01,250 --> 01:43:04,500
He knows - those in dread to the temple head
1243
01:43:05,000 --> 01:43:08,875
You too seem afraid! Off with these...
1244
01:43:09,375 --> 01:43:11,916
Do not question religion
1245
01:43:12,416 --> 01:43:14,291
It's a matter of faith!
1246
01:43:14,791 --> 01:43:17,125
If God didn't want us to raise questions
1247
01:43:17,625 --> 01:43:21,500
He wouldn't give us the power to reason
1248
01:43:22,000 --> 01:43:25,541
Guardians of religion use violence when they can't answer us
1249
01:43:26,041 --> 01:43:29,833
They scare us into silence. But now we won't be silent
1250
01:43:30,332 --> 01:43:34,915
So far one Tipsy raised questions. Now there'll be a thousand
1251
01:43:35,416 --> 01:43:37,833
Friends, pick up your phones
1252
01:43:38,332 --> 01:43:43,290
When you spot a Wrong Number, shoot it and send it to us
1253
01:43:43,791 --> 01:43:45,708
We'll put it on TV
1254
01:43:46,207 --> 01:43:49,707
Dump your fear, ask questions
1255
01:43:57,957 --> 01:43:59,750
Holy Sir!
1256
01:44:00,250 --> 01:44:01,166
One question
1257
01:44:01,666 --> 01:44:03,750
If you can conjure gold from thin air
1258
01:44:04,250 --> 01:44:06,750
why don't you end the nation's poverty?
1259
01:44:07,250 --> 01:44:09,500
Answer please
1260
01:44:10,000 --> 01:44:10,500
Holy Sir!
1261
01:44:10,957 --> 01:44:17,957
Since you're a walking gold mine, why ask us for donations?
1262
01:44:18,457 --> 01:44:20,500
God is great!
1263
01:44:21,000 --> 01:44:22,875
This is a Wrong Number
1264
01:44:23,375 --> 01:44:27,457
- Jaggu... come with me - Cherry give me a moment
1265
01:44:27,957 --> 01:44:30,625
Come with me
1266
01:44:31,125 --> 01:44:33,166
The Wrong Number idea is a national rage
1267
01:44:33,666 --> 01:44:35,916
- What! - It's spread like wild fire
1268
01:44:36,416 --> 01:44:39,916
Come, take a look!
1269
01:44:42,916 --> 01:44:44,916
Guru says - to land a job, feed a cow
1270
01:44:45,416 --> 01:44:48,750
Is this cow an employment agent?
1271
01:44:49,250 --> 01:44:52,582
Or posts CVs on Monster.com? Wrong Number
1272
01:44:53,082 --> 01:44:54,332
Watch this one!
1273
01:44:54,832 --> 01:44:57,207
He says, convert to Christianity, or be damned
1274
01:44:57,707 --> 01:45:01,125
If God wanted, I'd be Christian by birth
1275
01:45:01,625 --> 01:45:04,957
Why convert now? Wrong Number
1276
01:45:05,457 --> 01:45:07,040
These girls want to go to school
1277
01:45:07,541 --> 01:45:10,416
A new dictat says: kill them if they do
1278
01:45:10,916 --> 01:45:15,583
Is God so small, He'll deny children knowledge?
1279
01:45:16,082 --> 01:45:17,915
Wrong Number
1280
01:45:18,416 --> 01:45:21,666
What God has destined for you will happen
1281
01:45:22,166 --> 01:45:26,208
He has a master plan for the Universe
1282
01:45:26,707 --> 01:45:28,125
Accept it
1283
01:45:28,625 --> 01:45:33,000
Your disciples say: to get a male child,
1284
01:45:33,500 --> 01:45:37,666
buy this book, and chant the mantras
1285
01:45:38,166 --> 01:45:41,291
So buy a Rs 10 book
1286
01:45:41,791 --> 01:45:45,291
and bust God's master plan!
1287
01:45:53,832 --> 01:45:57,832
Tipsy! Your show's a hit! Messages are pouring in
1288
01:45:58,332 --> 01:46:01,832
Here's one more
1289
01:46:04,875 --> 01:46:06,666
What happened?
1290
01:46:07,166 --> 01:46:10,666
It's Papa. He's ashamed I'm his daughter
1291
01:46:14,875 --> 01:46:17,957
I was in tenth grade
1292
01:46:18,457 --> 01:46:21,457
when I wrote my first poem
1293
01:46:21,957 --> 01:46:24,332
For Papa
1294
01:46:24,832 --> 01:46:30,750
They say my Mom I resemble. I say possible,
1295
01:46:31,250 --> 01:46:34,082
but I'm my Daddy's girl
1296
01:46:34,582 --> 01:46:37,125
I recited it on the Annual Day
1297
01:46:37,625 --> 01:46:39,500
All parents clapped
1298
01:46:40,000 --> 01:46:44,750
but one whistled with joy
1299
01:46:45,250 --> 01:46:49,875
The applause ended, the whistling continued
1300
01:46:50,375 --> 01:46:51,791
It was Papa
1301
01:46:52,291 --> 01:46:55,375
He was so proud of me
1302
01:46:55,875 --> 01:47:00,457
And now this message. Ashamed of you
1303
01:47:00,957 --> 01:47:06,250
There's a Wrong Number in your Papa's head
1304
01:47:06,750 --> 01:47:12,832
The day he gets rid of it, he'll whistle for you again
1305
01:47:13,332 --> 01:47:14,415
It won't happen
1306
01:47:14,916 --> 01:47:17,666
Don't be sad. Come with me
1307
01:47:18,166 --> 01:47:22,375
On my planet when people are sad, know what they do?
1308
01:47:22,875 --> 01:47:24,082
What?
1309
01:47:24,582 --> 01:47:26,915
Recharge the battery!
1310
01:47:27,416 --> 01:47:30,916
- What! - Just copy me
1311
01:47:35,250 --> 01:47:38,750
What are we doing?
1312
01:47:43,541 --> 01:47:44,291
Shut your eyes!
1313
01:47:44,791 --> 01:47:45,875
How do I copy then?
1314
01:47:46,375 --> 01:47:49,875
Right. Keep them open
1315
01:49:22,707 --> 01:49:25,457
To steal glances at you all day
1316
01:49:25,957 --> 01:49:28,665
To strain for every word you say
1317
01:49:29,166 --> 01:49:31,833
To put every chore aside
1318
01:49:32,332 --> 01:49:34,957
And follow your every stride
1319
01:49:35,457 --> 01:49:38,082
That's nothing but a waste of time
1320
01:49:38,582 --> 01:49:41,415
Love is a waste of time
1321
01:49:41,916 --> 01:49:44,208
Amore is nothing more
1322
01:49:44,707 --> 01:49:47,832
Love is a waste of time
1323
01:49:48,332 --> 01:49:51,000
But my mind and heart insist
1324
01:49:51,500 --> 01:49:54,332
Once in this life at least
1325
01:49:54,832 --> 01:49:57,000
I must waste my time
1326
01:49:57,500 --> 01:50:00,291
Without reason or rhyme
1327
01:50:00,791 --> 01:50:03,333
I want to waste my time
1328
01:50:03,832 --> 01:50:07,332
I love this waste of time
1329
01:50:23,332 --> 01:50:29,290
A zillion peeps into the mirror
1330
01:50:29,791 --> 01:50:35,750
A million times I've styled my hair
1331
01:50:36,250 --> 01:50:42,041
Countless sets of clothes I've tried
1332
01:50:42,541 --> 01:50:48,375
Emptied perfume bottles with flair
1333
01:50:48,875 --> 01:50:54,916
Dressing up is all I did Did nothing else worthwhile
1334
01:50:55,416 --> 01:50:58,208
Now I understand
1335
01:50:58,707 --> 01:51:01,415
That love is waste of time
1336
01:51:01,916 --> 01:51:04,666
But my mind and heart insist
1337
01:51:05,166 --> 01:51:07,916
Once in this life at least
1338
01:51:08,416 --> 01:51:10,708
I must waste my time
1339
01:51:11,207 --> 01:51:13,750
Without reason or rhyme
1340
01:51:14,250 --> 01:51:17,041
I want to waste my time
1341
01:51:17,541 --> 01:51:21,041
I love this waste of time
1342
01:51:56,416 --> 01:52:02,125
My world has topsy-turvy turned
1343
01:52:02,625 --> 01:52:08,541
I know not how to tell you
1344
01:52:09,041 --> 01:52:15,000
I smile without rhyme or reason
1345
01:52:15,500 --> 01:52:21,291
What's happening I have no clue
1346
01:52:21,791 --> 01:52:27,750
The mind just wants to soar And from rooftops yell
1347
01:52:28,250 --> 01:52:34,166
Now I understand Love is a waste of time
1348
01:52:34,666 --> 01:52:37,458
But my mind and heart insist
1349
01:52:37,957 --> 01:52:40,665
Once in this life at least
1350
01:52:41,166 --> 01:52:43,791
I must waste my time
1351
01:52:44,291 --> 01:52:46,583
Without reason or rhyme
1352
01:52:47,082 --> 01:52:49,790
I want to waste my time
1353
01:52:50,291 --> 01:52:53,791
I love this waste of time
1354
01:53:33,291 --> 01:53:36,416
The donation box is getting more questions than cash
1355
01:53:36,916 --> 01:53:41,750
Your relics don't sell anymore
1356
01:53:42,250 --> 01:53:46,957
Millions of abuses on Facebook and Twitter
1357
01:53:47,457 --> 01:53:51,082
- Just five? - Those are in support
1358
01:53:51,582 --> 01:53:53,665
The abuses are in here
1359
01:53:54,166 --> 01:53:57,666
It's time for action, Sir. Avoiding the issue can be disastrous
1360
01:54:04,957 --> 01:54:06,332
Missing: God
1361
01:54:06,832 --> 01:54:08,457
Call Cherry Bajwa
1362
01:54:08,957 --> 01:54:12,375
Tipsy has asked many questions. I'll ask him just one
1363
01:54:12,875 --> 01:54:16,375
- Hey Jaggu - What happened?
1364
01:54:16,875 --> 01:54:19,666
His Holiness wants to come on the show. To debate with Tipsy
1365
01:54:20,166 --> 01:54:23,000
- Tipsy'll rip him! - It'll be a mother of a show!
1366
01:54:23,500 --> 01:54:26,166
Get Tipsy ready. Put the promos out
1367
01:54:26,666 --> 01:54:32,166
'The Final Question' Sunday 6:00 pm
1368
01:54:32,666 --> 01:54:37,000
Don't miss, 'The Final Question' Sunday 6:00 pm
1369
01:54:37,500 --> 01:54:41,916
My pal's become a star! Hey look, he's a rock star
1370
01:54:42,416 --> 01:54:45,916
Rock star was roaming butt naked
1371
01:54:46,416 --> 01:54:51,666
I made him a star. The bloke's on TV
1372
01:54:52,166 --> 01:54:58,125
and me - in this shanty town, this crappy shack
1373
01:54:58,625 --> 01:55:01,125
guzzling booze with a jackass like you
1374
01:55:01,625 --> 01:55:05,125
Star my foot!
1375
01:55:21,375 --> 01:55:23,750
Tipsy, some Bhairon Singh for you
1376
01:55:24,250 --> 01:55:24,875
Bhairon!
1377
01:55:25,375 --> 01:55:28,082
Take that line
1378
01:55:28,582 --> 01:55:30,750
- Bro! - You lusty lad
1379
01:55:31,250 --> 01:55:32,791
You're a rock star!
1380
01:55:33,291 --> 01:55:35,208
Bro, where are you?
1381
01:55:35,707 --> 01:55:38,540
In Mandawa. Coming to Delhi tomorrow
1382
01:55:39,041 --> 01:55:41,875
With a gift for you
1383
01:55:42,375 --> 01:55:46,375
I've nabbed the thief who stole your stuff
1384
01:55:46,875 --> 01:55:50,041
He sold it for 40 grand
1385
01:55:50,541 --> 01:55:52,750
- Guess to whom. - Whom?
1386
01:55:53,250 --> 01:55:58,375
His Holiness!
1387
01:55:58,875 --> 01:56:05,791
God said: it's a divine bead from Lord Shiva's necklace. Take it...
1388
01:56:06,291 --> 01:56:11,583
.. and enshrine it in a grand temple. Sighting this bead...
1389
01:56:12,082 --> 01:56:14,332
Hey,
1390
01:56:14,832 --> 01:56:16,915
what happened?
1391
01:56:17,416 --> 01:56:20,833
The thief who stole my remote is caught
1392
01:56:21,332 --> 01:56:22,625
What! Really?
1393
01:56:23,125 --> 01:56:28,082
Bro said, the thief sold it to His Holiness
1394
01:56:28,582 --> 01:56:30,540
Then His Holiness is finished!
1395
01:56:31,041 --> 01:56:34,708
We'll tell him - return the remote,
1396
01:56:35,207 --> 01:56:37,665
or the thief tells all on TV
1397
01:56:38,166 --> 01:56:44,041
So he didn't find my remote in the Himalayas! He's lying
1398
01:56:44,541 --> 01:56:48,666
Wrong Numbers are not floated by some fake God...
1399
01:56:49,166 --> 01:56:53,333
.. but by His Holiness
1400
01:56:53,832 --> 01:56:56,000
You knew this Jaggu?
1401
01:56:56,500 --> 01:56:58,791
Remember the day you mentioned Wrong Number
1402
01:56:59,291 --> 01:57:03,875
All his calls are going to a Wrong Number
1403
01:57:04,375 --> 01:57:08,750
I knew then you were on the wrong track. But I kept mum
1404
01:57:09,250 --> 01:57:12,750
If you'd called him a fraud, people would have killed you
1405
01:57:13,250 --> 01:57:15,000
People crave for the unique
1406
01:57:15,500 --> 01:57:16,916
Wrong Number!
1407
01:57:17,416 --> 01:57:19,958
Your Wrong Number concept was unique
1408
01:57:20,457 --> 01:57:22,790
Today the world supports you
1409
01:57:23,291 --> 01:57:26,791
Tipsy, my plan worked! You're going home!
1410
01:57:32,500 --> 01:57:35,666
You'll fly away tomorrow, my friend
1411
01:57:36,166 --> 01:57:40,166
Whoosh... Gone
1412
01:57:40,666 --> 01:57:44,541
We'll never meet again
1413
01:57:45,041 --> 01:57:48,833
There will be such a void
1414
01:57:49,332 --> 01:57:53,540
I'll really miss you
1415
01:57:54,041 --> 01:57:57,541
Shall I stay back?
1416
01:57:58,791 --> 01:58:01,666
How can you?
1417
01:58:02,166 --> 01:58:05,541
Simple, I have a job
1418
01:58:06,041 --> 01:58:09,000
I'll get some ID made and settle here
1419
01:58:09,500 --> 01:58:13,875
I'll find someone to 'waste time' with me
1420
01:58:14,375 --> 01:58:16,666
I'll marry her
1421
01:58:17,166 --> 01:58:19,750
- Who'll marry you! - Why not?
1422
01:58:20,250 --> 01:58:24,750
Your wife will go nuts introducing you -
1423
01:58:25,250 --> 01:58:29,625
Meet my husband. He's Tipsy!
1424
01:58:30,125 --> 01:58:32,875
That's not my name!
1425
01:58:33,375 --> 01:58:36,832
- Tipsyyy! - I'll get a real name
1426
01:58:37,332 --> 01:58:43,332
Why don't you suggest one? A name you love
1427
01:58:43,832 --> 01:58:49,207
A man's name must match his personality
1428
01:58:49,707 --> 01:58:51,125
Right!
1429
01:58:51,625 --> 01:58:53,875
So how is my personality?
1430
01:58:54,375 --> 01:58:56,541
I'll explain
1431
01:58:57,041 --> 01:59:01,041
A poet once wrote...
1432
01:59:01,541 --> 01:59:04,208
Irony of mismatched names...
1433
01:59:04,707 --> 01:59:08,082
No poetry, please! I've something to say
1434
01:59:08,582 --> 01:59:14,125
Who says 'What's in a name?'
1435
01:59:14,625 --> 01:59:18,875
If you don't get the right one, what a pain
1436
01:59:19,375 --> 01:59:23,082
Mr Burns is in fact so cool
1437
01:59:23,582 --> 01:59:27,415
With violence alone Mr Peace does rule
1438
01:59:27,916 --> 01:59:34,000
His name is Mr Fox But has no bushy tail
1439
01:59:34,500 --> 01:59:39,041
"I love you Jaggu"
1440
01:59:39,541 --> 01:59:43,458
One whole ton is the weight of Mr Flower
1441
01:59:43,957 --> 01:59:47,540
At his mere sight, the poor chair does cower
1442
01:59:48,041 --> 01:59:49,416
Very nice... very nice
1443
01:59:49,916 --> 01:59:53,291
Here's a bunch of cards with different names
1444
01:59:53,791 --> 01:59:56,958
Pick the one you like
1445
01:59:57,457 --> 02:00:00,082
Danduram Thatte?
1446
02:00:00,582 --> 02:00:03,250
- Disaster! - Next!
1447
02:00:03,750 --> 02:00:05,416
Tutari Singh?
1448
02:00:05,916 --> 02:00:08,125
Phooey!
1449
02:00:08,625 --> 02:00:12,125
Sarfaraz
1450
02:00:14,582 --> 02:00:17,040
- Sarfaraz... - What happened?
1451
02:00:17,541 --> 02:00:21,041
Keep going, find a good name
1452
02:00:23,707 --> 02:00:25,457
What's the matter?
1453
02:00:25,957 --> 02:00:29,457
Nothing
1454
02:01:20,082 --> 02:01:23,582
"I love you Jaggu"
1455
02:01:36,041 --> 02:01:39,541
Brother!
1456
02:02:10,375 --> 02:02:13,875
God is in His Heaven We mortals on ground
1457
02:02:14,375 --> 02:02:17,832
God is in His Heaven We mortals on ground
1458
02:02:18,332 --> 02:02:21,957
Nowadays He doesn't have Time to look around
1459
02:02:22,457 --> 02:02:25,957
God is in His Heaven We mortals on ground
1460
02:02:34,541 --> 02:02:37,958
Whatever may happen here He does not reprimand
1461
02:02:38,457 --> 02:02:42,207
Thousand evils, million wrongs He does not take a stand
1462
02:02:42,707 --> 02:02:46,207
Plundering is all around Bombs come to hound
1463
02:03:34,666 --> 02:03:37,708
A terrorist outfit has claimed responsibility for the blast
1464
02:03:38,207 --> 02:03:41,415
They say this was a mock drill
1465
02:03:41,916 --> 02:03:44,333
Persecute our people, and real war will follow
1466
02:03:44,832 --> 02:03:48,332
We shall protect our God
1467
02:04:09,291 --> 02:04:11,791
Where are you going, Tipsy?
1468
02:04:12,291 --> 02:04:13,250
On the show
1469
02:04:13,750 --> 02:04:17,707
You don't have to
1470
02:04:18,207 --> 02:04:21,707
I must. More than ever
1471
02:04:35,207 --> 02:04:40,082
'The Final Question' Welcome to our special show
1472
02:04:40,582 --> 02:04:41,790
in which we meet Tipsy...
1473
02:04:42,291 --> 02:04:45,791
Wait a minute
1474
02:04:50,166 --> 02:04:53,666
Bring it
1475
02:04:57,582 --> 02:04:59,207
What is this?
1476
02:04:59,707 --> 02:05:04,082
God says: it's a divine bead from His necklace
1477
02:05:04,582 --> 02:05:08,582
This man claims, it's his property
1478
02:05:09,082 --> 02:05:12,457
God says: build a temple
1479
02:05:12,957 --> 02:05:16,125
And this man opposes it
1480
02:05:16,625 --> 02:05:21,957
Who do I listen to? God, or this gentleman
1481
02:05:22,457 --> 02:05:29,250
who used to hand out these blasphemous pamphlets?
1482
02:05:29,750 --> 02:05:32,875
First he claimed, God is missing
1483
02:05:33,375 --> 02:05:35,125
Then said, God is a fraud
1484
02:05:35,625 --> 02:05:40,416
Next he'll say, God is dead
1485
02:05:40,916 --> 02:05:48,041
What do you want, son? A world without God?
1486
02:05:48,541 --> 02:05:52,958
Do you have any clue how people suffer?
1487
02:05:53,457 --> 02:05:55,875
No food to eat
1488
02:05:56,375 --> 02:05:58,832
No place to live
1489
02:05:59,332 --> 02:06:02,082
No friend to talk to
1490
02:06:02,582 --> 02:06:09,165
People kill themselves. Slit their wrists, jump off buildings
1491
02:06:09,666 --> 02:06:13,458
Why? Because they have no hope
1492
02:06:13,957 --> 02:06:18,750
If bowing before God, smearing holy ash,
1493
02:06:19,250 --> 02:06:23,791
wearing amulets, gives them hope to live,
1494
02:06:24,291 --> 02:06:29,083
then who are you to snatch away that hope?
1495
02:06:29,582 --> 02:06:38,082
And if you snatch away their God, how will you fill that void?
1496
02:06:38,582 --> 02:06:42,582
This man rants about Wrong Numbers
1497
02:06:43,082 --> 02:06:46,582
Today he must tell us: what is the Right Number?
1498
02:06:56,666 --> 02:06:59,958
You are right, Your Holiness
1499
02:07:00,457 --> 02:07:06,207
There was a time I too had no food to eat
1500
02:07:06,707 --> 02:07:08,665
No place to live
1501
02:07:09,166 --> 02:07:14,958
I cried a lot because I had no friend
1502
02:07:15,457 --> 02:07:20,790
I had only one hope then
1503
02:07:21,291 --> 02:07:23,541
God
1504
02:07:24,041 --> 02:07:27,083
Each day I hoped: tomorrow will be better
1505
02:07:27,582 --> 02:07:31,540
God will find a solution
1506
02:07:32,041 --> 02:07:39,708
I agree belief in God gives hope,
1507
02:07:40,207 --> 02:07:45,082
the strength to face ordeals
1508
02:07:45,582 --> 02:07:49,082
But I have one question
1509
02:07:51,041 --> 02:07:54,333
Which God shall I believe in?
1510
02:07:54,832 --> 02:07:58,707
You say there is ONE God
1511
02:07:59,207 --> 02:08:01,665
I say no
1512
02:08:02,166 --> 02:08:04,708
There are TWO Gods
1513
02:08:05,207 --> 02:08:08,540
One who created us
1514
02:08:09,041 --> 02:08:13,291
And the other whom you created
1515
02:08:13,791 --> 02:08:16,916
We know nothing about the God who made us
1516
02:08:17,416 --> 02:08:22,000
But the God YOU made up, is just like you
1517
02:08:22,500 --> 02:08:26,750
Petty. Takes bribes, makes false promises
1518
02:08:27,250 --> 02:08:31,000
Readily meets the rich, keeps the poor waiting
1519
02:08:31,500 --> 02:08:36,250
Thrives on flattery. Makes you live in fear
1520
02:08:36,750 --> 02:08:40,125
My Right Number is simple
1521
02:08:40,625 --> 02:08:46,416
The God who created us all, believe in Him
1522
02:08:46,916 --> 02:08:50,833
The God YOU created
1523
02:08:51,332 --> 02:08:53,290
abolish him
1524
02:08:53,791 --> 02:08:54,916
Yes!
1525
02:08:55,416 --> 02:08:59,458
You'll abolish my God and I'll keep quiet?
1526
02:08:59,957 --> 02:09:03,665
I know how to protect my God
1527
02:09:04,166 --> 02:09:06,083
You will protect God?
1528
02:09:06,582 --> 02:09:08,457
You!
1529
02:09:08,957 --> 02:09:10,832
This is a puny planet
1530
02:09:11,332 --> 02:09:13,875
Billions of bigger planets float in space
1531
02:09:14,375 --> 02:09:18,875
And you, sitting in a tiny corner of this puny planet, have the nerve to say
1532
02:09:19,375 --> 02:09:23,666
you will protect Him, who created the Universe?
1533
02:09:24,166 --> 02:09:31,750
He doesn't need your protection. He can protect Himself
1534
02:09:32,250 --> 02:09:38,207
Today someone tried to protect God and my friend died
1535
02:09:38,707 --> 02:09:41,875
This is all that's left - his shoe
1536
02:09:42,375 --> 02:09:44,541
Stop protecting God
1537
02:09:45,041 --> 02:09:48,333
Or this planet will have no humans, only shoes
1538
02:09:48,832 --> 02:09:51,707
A Muslim terrorist blows up a train
1539
02:09:52,207 --> 02:09:57,290
and a Hindu guru endures your sermon. That's nice
1540
02:09:57,791 --> 02:10:03,458
What's this Hindu, Muslim? Show me the label
1541
02:10:03,957 --> 02:10:06,875
You created these differences. Not God
1542
02:10:07,375 --> 02:10:13,082
This is the deadliest Wrong Number of this planet
1543
02:10:13,582 --> 02:10:16,207
It kills people, separates them
1544
02:10:16,707 --> 02:10:21,332
Like your Wrong Number separated Jaggu from Sarfaraz
1545
02:10:21,832 --> 02:10:27,625
- What Wrong Number? - That Sarfaraz will betray
1546
02:10:28,125 --> 02:10:30,291
He did betray her
1547
02:10:30,791 --> 02:10:36,666
- What's going on? - Hold it
1548
02:10:37,166 --> 02:10:43,958
You say my prediction about Sarfaraz was wrong?
1549
02:10:44,457 --> 02:10:45,250
Exactly!
1550
02:10:45,750 --> 02:10:49,582
Then prove it - prove my prophecy wrong!
1551
02:10:50,082 --> 02:10:54,290
Failing that, fall at my feet and admit
1552
02:10:54,791 --> 02:10:59,000
that you are a liar. You tried to defame me
1553
02:10:59,500 --> 02:11:01,250
What if I prove it?
1554
02:11:01,750 --> 02:11:05,250
Tipsy... don't!
1555
02:11:09,541 --> 02:11:13,041
Then this is yours
1556
02:11:17,291 --> 02:11:18,875
I accept
1557
02:11:19,375 --> 02:11:22,875
Turn the cameras towards Jagat Janani
1558
02:11:30,250 --> 02:11:38,875
I hope you will answer my questions truthfully
1559
02:11:39,375 --> 02:11:45,291
In Belgium you fell in love with a Pakistani boy
1560
02:11:45,791 --> 02:11:46,916
True or false?
1561
02:11:47,416 --> 02:11:49,375
Please spare my personal life
1562
02:11:49,875 --> 02:11:58,416
On Friday, at 3:21 pm I predicted this boy will betray you
1563
02:11:58,916 --> 02:12:03,125
The next day you went to the Marriage Registrar's office
1564
02:12:03,625 --> 02:12:05,457
but he didn't show up
1565
02:12:05,957 --> 02:12:08,000
True or false?
1566
02:12:08,500 --> 02:12:12,707
Yes, he didn't come. Please stop this
1567
02:12:13,207 --> 02:12:19,040
Now will you come to my feet or do I walk my feet to you?
1568
02:12:19,541 --> 02:12:23,208
- Sarfaraz did not betray. - Please let it go!
1569
02:12:23,707 --> 02:12:26,290
No. Tell us what happened that day
1570
02:12:26,791 --> 02:12:27,666
Please!
1571
02:12:28,166 --> 02:12:31,666
Just once, for my sake
1572
02:12:36,582 --> 02:12:40,540
I was at the Marriage Registrar's office and
1573
02:12:41,041 --> 02:12:41,583
a letter was brought to me
1574
02:12:42,082 --> 02:12:45,665
Did Sarfaraz bring it?
1575
02:12:46,166 --> 02:12:50,000
No. He sent it through a kid
1576
02:12:50,500 --> 02:12:53,125
- Was it signed? - No
1577
02:12:53,625 --> 02:12:57,125
How do you know Sarfaraz sent it?
1578
02:13:00,582 --> 02:13:04,082
It could have been for some other girl
1579
02:13:07,500 --> 02:13:13,250
There was another girl. With a cat, right?
1580
02:13:13,750 --> 02:13:18,416
She gave you the cat to hold for a while
1581
02:13:18,916 --> 02:13:22,291
The kid who gave you the letter- did he know you?
1582
02:13:22,791 --> 02:13:25,833
- No! - Did you know him?
1583
02:13:26,332 --> 02:13:26,832
No
1584
02:13:27,250 --> 02:13:31,666
Then how would he know the letter was for you?
1585
02:13:32,166 --> 02:13:40,291
Maybe he was told to give the letter to the girl with the cat
1586
02:13:40,791 --> 02:13:47,541
You read the letter, but didn't call Sarfaraz
1587
02:13:48,041 --> 02:13:50,458
Did you?
1588
02:13:50,957 --> 02:13:57,790
Because this man planted a Wrong Number - that Muslims betray
1589
02:13:58,291 --> 02:14:00,208
Sarfaraz didn't betray you
1590
02:14:00,707 --> 02:14:02,040
What's going on?
1591
02:14:02,541 --> 02:14:07,041
You expect us to believe these cat and bull stories?
1592
02:14:07,541 --> 02:14:08,791
One minute
1593
02:14:09,291 --> 02:14:12,916
We'll get to the truth right now. Call Sarfaraz
1594
02:14:13,416 --> 02:14:17,250
Hurry up!
1595
02:14:17,750 --> 02:14:21,666
This number does not exist
1596
02:14:22,166 --> 02:14:25,250
Any other number? Friend, college, something?
1597
02:14:25,750 --> 02:14:29,250
- C'mon Jaggu! - Belgium University
1598
02:14:33,291 --> 02:14:35,416
- Hello. - Hello!
1599
02:14:35,916 --> 02:14:38,791
I actually need to get in touch with one of your grad students
1600
02:14:39,291 --> 02:14:40,666
Sarfaraz Yousuf
1601
02:14:41,166 --> 02:14:44,125
Oh yeah. He left for Pakistan last year
1602
02:14:44,625 --> 02:14:45,457
Has he left a number?
1603
02:14:45,957 --> 02:14:48,415
Sorry, we are not authorized to give out information
1604
02:14:48,916 --> 02:14:50,125
This is really important
1605
02:14:50,625 --> 02:14:53,332
E-mail us your request and I can forward it to Student Affairs
1606
02:14:53,832 --> 02:14:54,790
Have a nice day dear
1607
02:14:55,291 --> 02:14:56,875
His Pakistan number?
1608
02:14:57,375 --> 02:15:00,707
- Don't know. - Think, Jaggu darling
1609
02:15:01,207 --> 02:15:03,832
I work at the Pakistan Embassy
1610
02:15:04,332 --> 02:15:07,165
His job - Pakistan Embassy, Belgium
1611
02:15:07,666 --> 02:15:09,666
Mitu, call the Pakistan Embassy, Belgium
1612
02:15:10,166 --> 02:15:15,166
- Copy sir. - Put it on the speakers
1613
02:15:15,666 --> 02:15:17,750
Greetings. Pakistan Embassy
1614
02:15:18,250 --> 02:15:20,791
Hello
1615
02:15:21,291 --> 02:15:24,125
A student from Lahore worked with you
1616
02:15:24,625 --> 02:15:28,125
- Sarfaraz Yousuf. - Is your name Jaggu?
1617
02:15:31,207 --> 02:15:33,582
Hello... is your name Jaggu?
1618
02:15:34,082 --> 02:15:35,625
How do you know?
1619
02:15:36,125 --> 02:15:39,457
She's called! The girl from Delhi has called
1620
02:15:39,957 --> 02:15:41,290
Farah, it's Jaggu calling
1621
02:15:41,791 --> 02:15:45,166
Mr Sayyed, hurry, it's Jaggu's call from India
1622
02:15:45,666 --> 02:15:50,458
On the double everyone!
1623
02:15:50,957 --> 02:15:57,040
Sarfaraz Yousuf calls us from Lahore, every day at 9 am
1624
02:15:57,541 --> 02:16:01,500
And with impeccable politeness asks just one question:
1625
02:16:02,000 --> 02:16:06,541
Was there a call for me from India - from Jaggu?
1626
02:16:07,041 --> 02:16:09,916
We say "No", and he disconnects
1627
02:16:10,416 --> 02:16:12,000
He's driven us crazy
1628
02:16:12,500 --> 02:16:16,000
Wait. I'll connect you to him
1629
02:16:30,375 --> 02:16:31,957
Hello...
1630
02:16:32,458 --> 02:16:35,625
- Mr Sarfaraz Yousuf? - Yes, speaking
1631
02:16:36,125 --> 02:16:39,875
- Where are you? - In Lahore. Why?
1632
02:16:40,375 --> 02:16:45,415
- Where are you right now? - At home. Why?
1633
02:16:45,915 --> 02:16:49,540
Is there a chair or a bench nearby?
1634
02:16:50,040 --> 02:16:55,040
Please sit down. You're about to get a jolt
1635
02:16:55,540 --> 02:16:58,625
Pardon me?
1636
02:16:59,125 --> 02:17:02,625
You have a call from Delhi
1637
02:17:07,665 --> 02:17:11,707
Please speak here
1638
02:17:12,208 --> 02:17:13,000
Hello...
1639
02:17:13,500 --> 02:17:17,000
Sarfaraz...
1640
02:17:19,583 --> 02:17:22,750
Jaggu...
1641
02:17:23,250 --> 02:17:25,375
Hello...
1642
02:17:25,875 --> 02:17:30,500
.. hello Jaggu, what's the matter?
1643
02:17:31,000 --> 02:17:32,833
Had you come to the Marriage Registrar's office?
1644
02:17:33,333 --> 02:17:37,625
I had, but you had left
1645
02:17:38,125 --> 02:17:39,708
Why didn't you call?
1646
02:17:40,208 --> 02:17:45,791
I got your letter. You'd said, 'Don't contact me'
1647
02:17:46,290 --> 02:17:48,500
I knew you were under family pressure
1648
02:17:49,000 --> 02:17:57,625
But deep down I knew, one day you would contact me
1649
02:17:58,125 --> 02:18:01,625
What took you so long?
1650
02:18:02,125 --> 02:18:05,625
I am sorry. I had your Wrong Number
1651
02:18:13,958 --> 02:18:17,458
Just got the right number from a friend
1652
02:18:43,708 --> 02:18:47,208
Thank you son
1653
02:19:20,250 --> 02:19:23,750
Here, hold this
1654
02:19:46,290 --> 02:19:49,582
Tipsy! You're taking batteries home?
1655
02:19:50,083 --> 02:19:54,416
- Don't get them there. - So many! For what?
1656
02:19:54,915 --> 02:19:58,665
Back home, I'll listen to the sounds I've recorded
1657
02:19:59,165 --> 02:20:00,207
What sounds?
1658
02:20:00,708 --> 02:20:04,791
Earth sounds - crows, traffic honking
1659
02:20:05,290 --> 02:20:07,540
Up there, you'll listen to cars honking?
1660
02:20:08,040 --> 02:20:14,625
Now and then - when I miss this planet
1661
02:20:15,125 --> 02:20:18,208
Hey, wait! There's one more bag
1662
02:20:18,708 --> 02:20:19,833
Forget it, Tipsy!
1663
02:20:20,333 --> 02:20:23,750
You kidding? It's stuffed with batteries
1664
02:20:24,250 --> 02:20:29,208
Wait!
1665
02:20:29,708 --> 02:20:33,208
Driver... please stop!
1666
02:20:46,708 --> 02:20:51,375
Everyone on your planet has stick-out ears?
1667
02:20:51,875 --> 02:20:55,915
And they roam around naked?
1668
02:20:56,415 --> 02:20:59,915
Why are you staring? Something on my face?
1669
02:21:03,458 --> 02:21:10,000
I was in tenth grade, when I wrote my first poem,
1670
02:21:10,500 --> 02:21:12,790
for Papa
1671
02:21:13,290 --> 02:21:16,790
They say my Mom I resemble. I say possible...
1672
02:21:26,250 --> 02:21:32,000
Poetry means sparse words, soaring thoughts
1673
02:21:32,500 --> 02:21:35,875
Pal, you're really cute
1674
02:21:36,375 --> 02:21:40,165
Here's to the teetotaler called Tipsy
1675
02:21:40,665 --> 02:21:45,290
Who says "What's in a name?"
1676
02:21:45,790 --> 02:21:50,082
No tape had sounds of crows or traffic honking
1677
02:21:50,583 --> 02:21:54,083
Every tape had just my voice
1678
02:22:01,290 --> 02:22:04,790
I love you Jaggu
1679
02:22:07,915 --> 02:22:11,415
Got it!
1680
02:22:14,833 --> 02:22:18,333
He sure made me run!
1681
02:22:20,540 --> 02:22:23,915
Tipsy, what's in these tapes?
1682
02:22:24,415 --> 02:22:27,915
Told you - crows, traffic honking
1683
02:22:39,665 --> 02:22:45,082
Every night, when your planet rises, I'll play these tapes
1684
02:22:45,583 --> 02:22:52,791
And wave at you. Like this
1685
02:22:53,290 --> 02:22:58,707
Will you wave back... now and then?
1686
02:22:59,208 --> 02:23:02,041
Haven't you recorded my voice?
1687
02:23:02,540 --> 02:23:04,915
Your voice?
1688
02:23:05,415 --> 02:23:10,290
I think I have... that one poem you recited
1689
02:23:10,790 --> 02:23:16,165
One poem? That's it?
1690
02:23:16,665 --> 02:23:18,875
I'm not exactly in love with you..
1691
02:23:19,375 --> 02:23:22,875
.. to waste all my time over you!
1692
02:23:41,290 --> 02:23:44,415
He didn't look back. Not once
1693
02:23:44,915 --> 02:23:47,625
He was hiding his tears
1694
02:23:48,125 --> 02:23:52,875
One thing he learnt from us. One thing he taught us
1695
02:23:53,375 --> 02:23:55,750
He learnt from us how to lie...
1696
02:23:56,250 --> 02:24:00,875
.. and taught us how to love
1697
02:24:01,375 --> 02:24:04,583
He loved me enough to let me go
1698
02:24:05,083 --> 02:24:11,041
He came here naked. As children do
1699
02:24:11,540 --> 02:24:19,000
Asked a lot of questions. As children do
1700
02:24:19,500 --> 02:24:23,625
And then one day...
1701
02:24:24,125 --> 02:24:27,415
.. he went away
1702
02:24:27,915 --> 02:24:33,332
Four billion miles away
1703
02:24:33,833 --> 02:24:39,333
He left me two parting gifts
1704
02:24:39,833 --> 02:24:42,375
Sarfaraz
1705
02:24:42,875 --> 02:24:46,375
and Papa
1706
02:24:48,083 --> 02:24:56,791
Till I live... every night I'll look at his planet and wave
1707
02:24:57,290 --> 02:25:00,790
I'm sure, he'll do the same
1708
02:25:04,915 --> 02:25:08,415
I miss him
1709
02:25:46,665 --> 02:25:50,457
Fellow astronauts, prepare to land on Earth
1710
02:25:50,958 --> 02:25:54,750
Remember the four Earth Survival Commandments
1711
02:25:55,250 --> 02:25:57,790
One: Do not roam around naked
1712
02:25:58,290 --> 02:26:03,625
Cuddling, making love etc. must be done in closed rooms
1713
02:26:04,125 --> 02:26:07,833
But fighting, making war etc. is allowed in the open
1714
02:26:08,333 --> 02:26:11,750
Two: Beware of language, it's confusing
1715
02:26:12,250 --> 02:26:15,540
If Earthlings say, 'I love chicken and fish,'
1716
02:26:16,040 --> 02:26:19,500
it doesn't mean they love animals,
1717
02:26:20,000 --> 02:26:24,040
but that animals are on the lunch menu
1718
02:26:24,540 --> 02:26:29,500
The gap between thought and speech is our topic of research
1719
02:26:30,000 --> 02:26:33,208
Three: On landing, find dancing cars for clothes
1720
02:26:33,708 --> 02:26:40,708
Hide your remotes deep in your underwear, safe from thieves
1721
02:26:41,208 --> 02:26:43,958
Four: the mother commandment
1722
02:26:44,458 --> 02:26:48,458
If anyone says: I'll connect you to God,
1723
02:26:48,958 --> 02:26:52,458
dump the research, take a U-turn and run for your life
1724
02:27:06,083 --> 02:27:09,583
Come, don't be afraid
1725
02:27:14,040 --> 02:27:17,040
What are you goggling at
1726
02:27:17,540 --> 02:27:20,790
- I have a question. - What?
1727
02:27:21,290 --> 02:27:24,790
On your last visit, how often were you whacked?
1728
02:27:33,915 --> 02:27:36,582
- What's this? - Self-defense!
1729
02:27:37,083 --> 02:27:38,916
Safety gadgets?
1730
02:27:39,415 --> 02:27:42,375
- Let's go. - Not there! This way
114211
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