Original subtitles

[Lilly V.O.] Dear Santa...

My favorite book ever is "The Christmas Bow."

You're the main character...

but you know that.

In the chapter at the toy store,

you tell Anabelle that

you can't wrap up the important gifts.

I never understood what that meant

until this year.

I'm writing because I need the most important gift

I've ever asked for.

You will not be bland like last year.

You will not be dry like last year.

Just work with me here.

Yeah, I'm talking to a turkey.

Mommy, it's ready!

No, not for another 36 hours, baby.

No, my letter.

You're cooking a turkey for 36 hours?

I read about slow roasting on the Internet.

It keeps it juicy.

It's a little early for a letter to Santa, isn't it?

How many days till Thanksgiving?

Point taken.

All right, I will give it to Ben first thing in the morning.

Want to help with the Ritz cracker stuffing?

Daddy loved the Ritz cracker stuffing.

Yes, he did.

Clear that. Great.

Start with the crackers.

Okay.

You scrunch them and put them in this bowl.

Sounds good, sounds good.

[people vocalizing]

♪ I want to see you

♪ This Christmas

♪ Just see

♪ How the snow is fallin' down

♪ Well, I want to see you ♪

♪ This Christmas

♪ Tell good ol' Santa Claus

♪ I'll be coming to town

Hey, Celia!

-Morning. Thank you. -Good morning.

-How are you doing? -Good. You have a great day.

-Come back for a cup of coffee. -You too. All right, will do.

[women chuckling]

-Hey, Esther! -Jake!

Hey. Mwah. June!

Oh, she took her hearing aids out.

-Oh. -That ditzy bird.

Oh. Hey, June!

-Oh! -[Esther laughs]

Jake Granger!

-[laughing] -[June] Hush!

Dear, we didn't expect to see you today.

I heard they delivered a bunch last night.

Didn't want to leave two pretty young ladies

-here all by themselves. -[giggles]

Oh, compliments she hears just fine.

-[scoffs] -A little light, huh?

It's Thanksgiving.

You do have somewhere to go, right?

June.

I'm just looking out for our employee.

You how it's been since the D-I-V.

[June] The man knows how to spell "divorce."

Oh! And if you're lonesome,

you can come have dinner with us.

Anyway, I'm fine, ladies.

I got big plans tonight.

[door opens, closes]

This is the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life.

-Look at you. -Did I leave the door unlocked?

I know where you keep your spare.

Shouldn't you be with your family?

I have three now, Jake.

I have three kids. Are you listening to me?

I will do literally anything to get out of the house.

Even work.

Santa Inc., huh?

Look at this.

Gimme, gimme, gimme, more, more, more...

This one thinks Santa and the elves

make Playstations with their little hammers.

Jake, this is no way

for a best-selling author to be living.

You understand that, right?

I mean, you think Vonnegut ever pretended

to be Santa Claus for $12 an hour?

Sober, I mean.

I like it. I get to write.

What about real writing?

What about writing that buys me a boat?

Appearance requests, okay?

That's a lot.

Yeah. You're still very popular, which is amazing

considering you haven't written anything in forever.

-Ah, it's only been... -18 months, buddy.

Yeah.

Listen, I love you.

The publishing company loves you.

Your fans obviously still love you.

The only one who didn't love you

was What's-Her-Face.

Divorce can be a good thing.

It can be a brush fire clearing out the dead wood.

Do you even listen to half the stuff that you say?

Uh, n-- no.

But luckily, neither does the wife.

Which, speaking of, you are invited.

Casa Green. Tonight. For Thanksgiving.

-Yeah, no. -We'll be having Chinese.

Happy Thanksgiving, buddy.

Don't leave me alone with them.

Please.

[sighs]

[singers vocalize on radio]

♪ Oh, Christmas time

♪ It's Christmas time once again ♪

-[both giggle] -♪ Christmas time

♪ It's Christmas time

♪ The snow, it falls on them ♪

♪ Ooh, the snow falls

-♪ Snow falls -♪ Oh, it's Christmas time

♪ There's presents under the tree ♪

-[radio clicks off] -[both] Oh! Hey!

What? It's barely Thanksgiving.

Don't be a spoilsport.

-[radio clicks on] -♪ It's Christmas

-[radio turns down] -Randy is right.

I just made nine kinds of cranberry sauce.

I am in no mood to think about Christmas.

All right, listen up.

My sister and I put a lot of blood,

sweat, and tears into this meal.

-Gross. -Not literally.

I have only one favor to ask.

Can we please eat like actual people this year

and not devour this meal in 20 minutes?

Go! Come on.

-You two, go. -[gobbles, grunts]

Put that down.

God, Greg.

[sport commentator] At the five, he's in!

♪ It's gonna be a beautiful Christmas ♪

♪ The halls are...

Animals.

60 years of feminism,

and we're the ones washing the dishes.

You know what Mom used to say.

Married women don't hide in a kitchen

because we have to, but...

[both] Because we want to.

You did not see me.

Oh, just so you know, the turkey was amazing.

Thanks, Randy.

You're welcome.

If I, uh, if I knew that you would have been

such a great cook back in high school,

I definitely would have taken you to the prom.

I would have been like... eighth grade?

Oh. You're being sweet.

Yeah.

Well, I probably would have caught my retainer in your lip,

but I would have jumped at the chance.

Well, then maybe we should do it.

Prom?

No, uh, you know, we should, uh...

You know, date.

I mean, if you want.

-Hey. -I'm just say-- Ow.

We gonna go work on this thing or what?

Okay.

I'm just sayin' if you made time,

I'd make time, is what I'm sayin'.

Potato duty calls! [laughs nervously]

Randy?

Oh, come on.

Once you get past the mustache, Randy is...

I know. Randy's great.

He's...

-he's great. -Mm-hmm.

It's just I don't really feel a--

Don't you say "spark."

-Spark. -You said it.

I know. I get it.

I'm not a little girl anymore.

Sparks and magic and...

dashing through the snow at midnight.

Ugh, love really is the last fairytale

we believe in, isn't it?

It's not your fault, sis.

Bradley set the bar impossibly high.

So what, I'm supposed to lower the bar?

Exactly.

Randy's got dental insurance and cares about you.

You can convince him to shave the mustache later

or I will.

You should go on a date.

[Christmas carol playing on radio]

♪ Hark the Herald angels sing

♪ Glory to the newborn king

[Lilly V.O.] This will be the third Christmas

without my daddy...

and my mommy now isn't the mommy I remember.

At the beginning of "The Christmas Bow,"

Annabelle loses her light.

That's my mommy.

She doesn't believe that she'll ever be in love

like she was before.

I don't want anything else this year.

I just want my mommy to smile like she used to.

You've never let me down before, Santa.

Now my mom needs you.

Bring back her light.

[Jake V.O] Dear Lilly...

People wonder how I could live in the North Pole

with all that snow and darkness.

But what people don't realize

is that I'm only ever one hot chocolate away

from feeling warm and jolly...

and ready to get back to making toys.

Love is a lot of things, Lilly...

but to me, the most wonderful thing about it

is that it can be just as sudden and sweet

as hot chocolate.

A hint of it in the cold night air

is all I need to start smiling.

No one can replace your daddy.

But maybe we can find some words to remind your mommy

that the world isn't that dark...

or cold.

What are we doing?

I'm trying to imagine the Christmas decorations.

I want to do something big with the cafe this year.

Oh. Can I help?

Sure.

What are we doing?

Just imagining, Ben.

Oh. Well, the world certainly could use a lot more of that.

I have a special delivery here for you, young lady,

from the North Pole.

Mom, can I be excused from my imagination?

-Sure. -[chuckles]

I wish everybody got that excited about the mail.

Well, stop bringing bills and I'll throw a parade.

-See you tomorrow! -Yep!

Lilly?

Is everything okay?

I was just thinking.

We don't go to the wishing well anymore.

You mean on Christmas Eve.

That was always the best part,

you, me, and Daddy getting all bundled up

and going out there.

It felt like magic.

Your dad always made it so special.

I think I've been afraid that if I take you out

by myself, it'll be a disappointment.

Does this have something to do with the letter?

Promise you won't be mad?

What, did you ask Santa for a kangaroo or something?

No.

It's just...

I know you don't like to talk about Dad.

No. Oh, Lilly, no.

You know, you can talk to me about your dad

whenever you want.

Not me and you.

I mean, with other grown-ups.

Like Aunt Helen.

Or Santa.

Okay...

[whispers] I'm confused.

[Jake V.O.] Now, I understand

the difficulty paired with the loss of someone

whom you love dearly.

We all feel sadness.

Even me.

But with loss comes wishes.

A wish for everything to be okay.

For everything to be again as it once was.

With time, Lilly...

our wishes do come true.

And in that miracle lies the magic of the human soul.

There's a saying I heard

delivering toys in Ireland that I feel you should know.

Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

Love always, Santa.

[giggling]

Oh!

[chuckles]

I...

Well, I-- I don't know what to say.

[chuckles] Mr. Best-Seller has no words!

I could set off a firecracker,

she wouldn't even flinch.

You think I overdid the red?

Oh, you overdid everything.

[both chuckle]

Who's "Lilly's Mom"?

Did you write an eight-page

handwritten letter to someone named "Lilly's Mom"?

And it's addressed to "Love always, Santa."

Ooh-hoo-hoo!

Ooh, and you set off fireworks in every corner of her mind!

[chuckles]

Ooh, this reads better than my romance novels!

I think I may have under-did it on the red.

Boy, did she ever! [chuckles]

What are you waiting for?

[Esther chuckles]

[Celia V.O.] Although the past few years

have been the most defining of my life,

moments of happiness grace it...

and every single one of those moments are tethered

to my little angel, Lilly.

I can't thank you enough for the time,

the thoughtful time it must have taken

to answer Lilly's letter.

It moved us both to tears.

In a world where keyboards and touchscreens rule our lives,

I cannot express how giddy I feel

to actually hand-write this.

Well, "giddy" is not the right word.

Classic.

Words can sometimes hide from our hearts,

but that is the perfect word for this moment.

I feel classic.

I feel a tremor in my hand as I write this.

Maybe it's the wine.

Maybe it's the wonder.

[Jake V.O.] I should be thanking you and your daughter.

Her letter sparked something in me.

And it's been a long time since I've written anything.

[Celia V.O.] I used to love to write...

and read.

But the time keeps slipping away.

So much to do.

I feel like I'm measuring out my life in coffee spoons.

[Jake V.O.] Coffee spoons?

You're an Eliot fan, too?

So many amazing words.

Eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase.

[Celia V.O.] I fell in love with Eliot in college.

Who doesn't love a literary man?

[Jake V.O.] You'd be surprised.

It's hard writing.

Most of the writers I know

like having written a lot more than actually writing.

[Celia V.O.] So is that a clue, mystery man?

Are you a writer?

[Jake V.O.] I am when I write to you.

You've been writing two letters a day.

I have to keep up.

[Celia V.O.] Just wait till I get to three.

Whoa, they're all yours.

-Thanks. -[chuckles]

[Celia V.O.] I can get pretty annoying.

[Lilly V.O.] P.S. Hey, Santa.

It's Lilly.

I saw my mom reading a letter

on that special, super-cool paper!

My mom and Santa are penpals!

[car honks]

P.P.S. I know this time of the year is busy for you,

so just let me know if she's bothering you.

[Celia V.O.] P.P.P.S. Sorry about that.

Lilly is kind of an unstoppable force of nature.

[Jake V.O.] I can see that.

[Celia V.O.] Maybe I should get her

to work on figuring out your name.

[Jake V.O.] You can have mine

just as soon as you tell me yours.

What's going on?

Nothing.

Why do you think something is going on?

Nobody is that happy to get mail.

Well, it's just...

This is just...

Oh, God. Having to say it out loud,

it doesn't make any sense.

I'm writing Santa Claus.

I'm writing Santa Claus.

I'm writing Santa Claus.

[chuckling] I'm writing Santa Claus.

It's just some guy from this Santa Inc. place.

Lilly wrote them because she thought

I was still sad about...

Anyway, what he wrote back was so beautiful and perfect,

and I wrote him back and then we got to writing each other.

I mean. I don't know how to put it.

It became something.

That letter is like this fake sugar right here.

It feels like it's sweet,

but really it's just a lot of nothing.

That's...

You know, that's a really good simile.

I know, right?

We're not 16 anymore,

passing notes back and forth.

Randy's not your ideal. So what?

You're not his ideal either.

And most importantly, he is actually here.

It's not settling.

It's...

It's being realistic.

Yes. Yes.

[Jake V.O.] I'm not sure what stopped the flood of letters...

It's been a few days since I've heard from you...

but it already feels...

[phone trilling]

[Jake] Hank, remember those appearance requests?

[Lilly] Jake!

Granger!

The author of, like, the best book ever!

He's coming! He's gonna be--

All this fuss over a book?

What is all this?

Are you guys...

going on a date?

That's right.

Took 20 years, but your mom has finally agreed

to go line dancing with me.

[mouthing] Be nice.

[mouthing] Line dancing?

This is too weird.

I'm going home.

Remember, Mom!

At the bookstore, tomorrow afternoon,

Jake Granger!

All right, little mama.

You ready?

[with a drawl] Ready as I'll ever be.

Let's do it.

Now there's no such thing as too much.

-[potato firing echoes] -[both gasp]

Dude, I told you. The air pressure is too high.

That's the whole point.

Yeah, well not if the potato evaporates.

We're gonna run out of potatoes, Greg.

Hey, there are plenty of potatoes--

The Hammer is a precious instrument.

So weird.

Imagine if Greg paid attention to me the way he did that gun.

I might not feel so...

Anyway, how was last night?

It was line dancing.

You didn't like cauliflower at first either.

It'll grow on you.

Are you talking about line dancing

or are you talking about Randy?

[Hank] I-- I should have got the rental insurance.

Maybe they won't notice.

-[chuckles] -Do you have a plan

on how you're gonna meet Mrs. Right?

The first thing Lilly mentioned in her letters

that her all-time favorite book is "The Christmas Bow."

Well, good. I hope she bought two.

So, I'm thinking if my book is her favorite, then...

There's no way she won't be at the reading.

Okay. Makes sense, but how are you gonna know

which one is her or specifically Mom?

Kinda hopin' I'll just know.

Okay. That's a great plan.

You know what I would do?

Look for an old lady in a kitten sweater.

[chuckles] As always,

your support is appreciated, Hank.

I'm here, aren't I?

Okay, I'm gonna go.

Have fun.

We were just answering the very important question of

how snow people all come to be.

Just appear from the air?

-[children laugh] -"Question," said Mama,

"Let's see, maybe it's time that I tell you the tale of

how snow people all come... to be."

[children laugh]

-Here. Would you mind? -Sure.

-Thank you. -Yeah.

Mr. Granger!

I want to be a writer like you!

Can you tell me how to do that?

And also, would you like

a donut and some hot chocolate at my mom's store?

-[woman laughs] -It's right there!

Looks like I gotta go take a meeting.

[woman chuckles]

Come on!

How many books have you written?

-[Jake] Six. -Is it hard to get published?

Well, after the first one sold two million copies, no.

What about that first one?

Almost impossible.

And how did you do it?

I didn't stop trying.

And how did you do that?

I had someone who believed in me.

Try again. Less mushy.

Well, okay.

Um, I knew I was good, so I made it my job

to convince the publishers of the same thing.

And that took four years, but eventually,

this guy named Hank, he read my manuscript,

and he signed me.

♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪

♪ And a happy new year

♪ Please bring us some figgy pudding ♪

♪ Please bring us some figgy pudding ♪

Last question.

-Hmm? -Do you need a partner?

And if so...

would you consider an eight-year-old?

Almost nine.

[chuckles]

Wha--

[Celia] Lilly, I told you not to bother Mr. Granger.

[Lilly] I was pitching him.

[Celia] Oh, well, that's so much different

than bothering him.

Hi, I'm Celia Banks.

Oh.

It's really no problem.

The hot chocolate was well worth it.

Oh. Granger. Jake Granger.

That's my name.

Uh, Jake Granger is...

my... name.

I think she's got it.

Oh.

[Celia and Jake chuckle]

We have an open mic night on Sunday, and, uh,

Lilly's gotten in her head she wants to be a writer.

-Oh. -Not a real writer.

I want to write children's books.

Open mic, huh?

Are you doing one this Sunday?

Mr. Granger, you should come to a reading!

Oh, no, Lilly. I'm sure that

Mr. Granger doesn't have time to do that.

Oh. Okay.

[both] Really?

Yeah, absolutely.

I don't fly out until the next day.

Christmas Eve.

I've been told that's an easy travel day, so.

[all chuckle]

Well, um...

please, um, tell us, how did you make your way here?

You doing research for your new book

on little towns?

'Cause towns don't get much smaller.

[chuckles]

Yeah, I, uh...

Yeah, I-- I wasn't planning on doing this so soon,

but I guess you gotta go with what you feel, right?

[Randy] Babe!

Uh, I thought you were working on the potato gun.

Uh, one, it's a cannon, and B,

stupid Greg wouldn't listen to me about the air pressure.

What's up? I'm Randy with a 'Y'.

-Jake. -Granger!

-The famous author! -[Randy] Oh, right!

Cool. How did-- how did it go for you?

It went--

You know, actually...

it was really draining.

Hey, reading wears me out too.

Yeah. Uh...

I was gonna go back to the hotel.

I just gotta get some rest, you know?

Uh, it was... it was a pleasure.

Are you sure that you can't stick around?

-We have-- -Mom.

The man is tired.

[Lilly] Come on.

[Randy] Yeah, so...

[Celia] I'm really sorry about that.

We can work out the details

of the partnership later on Sunday.

At the open mic.

Oh. Yeah. Right.

That you promised you'd be at.

Yep. I'll be there.

This was stupid.

I don't want to say I told you so, so--

It's so stupid!

I'm just gonna say I don't want to say

I told you so, and let you fill in the blank.

I've read 70 pages

of what's in this woman's soul, Hank,

and it's not a guy with a potato cannon.

Wait, what?

[sighs] It doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter? Tell that to the rental car company.

Okay, listen, buddy, you took your shot.

You were romantic out the wazoo.

[scoffs]

You want a take-away from this? Here's your take-away.

-You're still very popular. -Oh.

Okay? People want to see you.

So, here's what we do.

Book a tour.

-Mm-mm. -No, listen.

We go to every major city that has a luxury hotel

and a time zone inconvenient for my wife to call.

Okay, Jake.

My dad used to say there's only one way

to mend a broken heart.

-What's that? -Money.

Hank.

Okay, he was divorced four times,

but the logic is sound.

-I'll do the tour. -Perfect.

Okay. All right, I'll get on the phone.

We'll get on the first flight out of here.

But I'm staying through the weekend.

I gotta do the open mic like I said I would.

I promised her.

Lilly.

[Jake V.O.] I saw you today.

I was 13 again.

All butterflies and insecurity.

But your situation is different than I hoped it would be.

I'm not 13 anymore

and it's not in my nature to pout.

If this can't be a romance,

it'll just have to be a connection.

I would be grateful for a moment of either.

You'll get this after I leave.

I don't know how much time we'll have together,

but you should know how much this connection has meant to me.

And just in case I never get the guts to tell you,

you should also know who I really am.

Love always, Jake.

[panting] Babe!

We wound up working through the night,

but it was totally worth it.

Oh, and I finally talked Greg down

from that over-pressure jag thing he was on.

Come here.

See, people always think it's PSI. It's not.

It's measured PSI over a surface area.

You know, balance.

Ooh, come here.

Balance.

You're cute.

I'll be a lot cuter when I win the Veggie Toss tomorrow.

Randy, can we...

can we talk about you calling me "babe"?

-Yes. -We went on a date.

We're not dating yet.

What? Why are you smiling?

'Cause you said "yet."

Okay, ixnay on the abe-bay thing.

I got it.

-Babe-alicious. -[chuckles]

Oh, it's 7:00 a.m. You're officially open.

-Can I do the, uh... -Yeah.

Yes! Thank you.

Bye.

Not too early, am I?

Someone's not happy with you.

Lilly's nook.

It's sort of understood that on the weekends, this is hers.

Oh.

-I had no idea. -I know,

and that's the only reason you're not dead right now.

She's an amazing kid.

She's scary, but amazing.

[Helen clears her throat]

Do you need to get back to something?

No, um, but I can take your order.

Oh. Okay.

Well, I'll have the To Ham and Ham Not

and to drink, The Old Man and the Tea.

Celia, I know I just met you, but...

I think you have a problem.

Hemingway puns.

I mean, it always starts off as some light wordplay

on the weekends, you know, just for kicks,

but the next thing you know, you're hooked!

-[chuckles] -And you're spending all night

strung out looking for a pun for "Kilimanjaro."

Oh, you have not seen the side of pickle.

"Dill-In-A-Jar-O." [chuckles]

It's worse than I thought!

-It's so good! -[chuckles]

Come with me.

-Come on. -Oh?

I originally wanted a T. S. Eliot theme,

but Bradley was always so good at debates,

so Hemingway.

Oh, wow.

You guys did a ton of traveling.

Mm, well we had all of that grad school money rolling in.

[chuckles]

Ooh, that's Cuba, right?

La Bodeguita?

Yeah, del Medio.

One of Hemingway's haunting grounds.

Yeah. That must have been amazing to see in person.

Haven't seen it yet.

When Lilly figured out that her surprising arrival

on the scene interrupted all this travel,

she made me make a list of all the places

that her father and I never got to

before he passed away.

Mm.

And this was her favorite.

"We need some new memories, Mommy."

[chuckles]

So Lilly's gonna take you to Cuba?

Hm.

I like that you hung it here with all the other pictures.

Oh, yeah? Why is that?

Well, most people treat vacations like an escape.

But you don't do that.

I mean, this isn't about going some place sunny.

Your hope for the future grows

right out of all the love that you had in the past.

What, are you analyzing me for English class?

[chuckles] No.

No, this is real life.

Besides, I've never read a story or a poem as beautiful.

Not everyone can live a life of letters.

Well, sometimes letters are all you have.

You have no idea.

[tapping broom]

Maybe that's a sign you should put my order in.

-Uh. the ham and tea. -Yeah.

Oh, actually, can you make that to go?

Which I think that Hemingway might call...

[both] "A Movable Feast."

I-- Wow, I can't believe at five years

that we just thought of that.

[chuckles]

[Lilly] Christmas Fair.

Excuse me?

My mom is going to be at the Christmas Fair tonight.

I mean, if you wanted to see her again.

Oh. Um...

I-- I had plans to...

Tell me where this Christmas Fair might take place.

-You were flirting. -You're wrong.

First Santa Claus and now this guy?

Anything else you want to tell me?

You and Greg have something on the side?

'Cause that's the only one I'm okay with.

[piano playing]

[choir] ♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪

♪ And a happy new year

♪ Good tidings we bring

♪ To you and your kin

♪ Good tidings for Christmas

♪ And a happy new year

You look anxious. Think I know what it is.

You're worried I'm not gonna share

any of my maple syrup, and you're right. I will not.

Yeah, none of this feels like me.

Listen, you got married at what, 11?

-22. -Same difference.

Here's the thing. You're not in high school.

You're not going steady. You're allowed to go

to the Mayberry Fair and say hello to her and Gomer.

If I'm being honest with myself, I don't want to just say hello

to her, I want to tell her everything

-and I want to-- -Unwrap her presents.

No. Well, yes, I do.

-But? -But I won't.

She's with somebody and I gotta respect that.

That's right, 'cause you are the Incredible Hulk of guilt,

and that's fine, but here's the thing.

As your friend and more importantly as

the person who makes 7% on every book you sell,

I think it's good that you found

a woman that thrilled you.

It's, you know, it's nice you can go in there

and throw some platonic sparks, become yourself again.

Yeah. Hank, for once, you're right.

For once?

-[Lilly] Jake!

I'm over here!

Lilly! Hi!

All right, I-- I'm gonna let you deal with this.

Can I trust you?

With what?

I have this book that I wrote

and Mike Sullivan did the drawings for me.

-Okay. -But I don't like him.

Okay. Who said you did?

I just don't want people to get the wrong idea.

If I give it to you, then, well...

I couldn't show it to somebody even if I wanted to.

-Oh. -We're partners.

There's laws against that stuff.

Okay. Well, I don't have it with me right now,

but I can drop it off at the front desk of your hotel.

-Okay. -And even if my mom begs...

Cross my heart.

Speaking of your mom, is she around anywhere?

What?

I have the same problem with Mike Sullivan.

[chuckles]

-Ta-da! -Oh...

-What the what? -I'm here to relieve her.

Hey Mom!

You're late!

And Mr. Granger's here!

What? Oh, hi!

I have to go watch Randy.

I know. I'll be fine. Go have fun.

Okay.

Hello.

I didn't know that you would be here.

Are you disappointed?

It's just that I have to be a cheerleader.

An elf and a cheerleader.

I know, right?

Throw in my pleated plaid skirt from Catholic school

and I'm a triple threat.

[both chuckle]

Well, will you, uh...

walk me to the potato gun contest?

If I had a quarter for every time I heard that.

[chuckles]

-This way. -All right.

Okay, let's get you talking to Santa.

Hey, Lilly.

Mike Sull... ivan.

Hi.

Do-- do you wanna...

[choir] ♪ Holy night

♪ All is calm

♪ All is bright

♪ Round yon Virgin Mother and Child ♪

Greg and, uh, and Randy are in the--

-[potato gun fires] -[announcer] Yes!

And the winner of this year's Veggie Toss

are Randy and Greg!

[cheers and applause]

Uh, all right! Hey!

Well--

I'd like to thank, uh, my best friend

and partner...

Mr. Randy Eggwater!

-All right! -[cheers and applause]

[Greg] Come on!

Oh, Greg.

Wow.

Jake, Jake, it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen!

Well, Celia, this is Hank Green.

Hi. It's nice to meet you.

This all makes sense now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

-Randy! -[choir] ♪ Silent night

Randy!

♪ Holy night

I-- I have a brainstorm I gotta work out.

Helen! Hel-- Helen!

I thought that this year I would do more

than just work the fair.

Hey, I think that I just lost my date too.

Well, I have an idea.

I mean, you can't write a book about small town America

at not see the Christmas Fair.

-You think? -I know.

This really is something special.

It's my favorite thing.

Think it's gonna start to snow.

When I first moved back here,

I was sulking like a big baby.

Aww.

All my dreams involved late city nights.

-Mm-hmm. -You know?

But then my husband signed us up

to do the Santa's Workshop.

Without telling me.

And I just loved it.

I...

This is why I don't talk about stuff.

Anyway, we do it every year.

That's beautiful.

I mean, everything except for this hat.

The hat is awful.

I know. It turned out so bad.

-I tried really hard. -[chuckles]

-Not hard enough, apparently. -[chuckles]

Hands and feet stay inside at all times

and don't drop any items out of the car.

Got it?

Merry Christmas.

Hands and feet stay inside at all times

and don't drop any items out of the car.

You're not cold, are you?

Outdoor carnival ride in -45 degree temperatures?

Why would I be cold?

It's good for ya.

You know, I think desperate times...

-dun dun dun. -[chuckles]

Here you go.

No-- Oh!

[both] Oh!

Don't look down or we're in trouble.

[both chuckling]

Stupid people can't follow the stupid rules.

Hands and feel stay inside at all times.

So you're afraid of heights, aren't you?

[breathing heavily]

No.

-[chuckles] -Yeah.

[both chuckle]

So you're afraid of heights, you don't like the cold.

Yeah, I know, I know.

And I'm terrible at throwing a baseball.

My dad is still disappointed.

No, it's just...

I mean, why did you come up here?

Because you wanted to.

It's so strange,

I know that we just met, but...

it just feels like I know you.

It's actually not so strange.

You go home Monday?

Yeah.

That's a shame.

There's a lot more to see.

Okay, there's not a lot more to see.

[chuckles]

But I...

I just would like it if you stayed.

[ferris wheel moves]

[exhales]

People gotta learn to follow the rules!

I should go.

Uh, thank you for taking me on the ferris wheel.

-Uh, Celia-- -I've gotta go pick up Lilly!

Uh, I'll see you tomorrow?

I'm keeping this.

[chuckles]

Celia and I went on the ferris wheel together.

Are you speaking in code?

No. It felt...

Whatever it was, we both felt it.

I don't think that Randy and Celia belong together.

Nobody belongs together.

Look, Hank, I'm being serious.

All right?

I need to know somethin'.

I'm not a bad person, am I?

No? Tomorrow, if I go for it

and tell her who I am

and that we already know each other,

look, I just need to know that I'm not a bad person.

You're not a bad person.

Mm!

Mm.

-That's it? -Yeah, that's it.

Technically, I'm the other woman.

In all this hullabaloo, did it even occur to you

to find out how many dates Randy and Celia have been on?

Well, yeah. She said that they've known each other since--

One?

Having a conversation

with my new client, Randall-- we're doing a book tour.

"American Potato Guns: A Journey."

It'll be a blockbuster. And he makes mention

that he and Celia have been on exactly...

One date?

You're not Mr. Wrong. You're Mr. Right.

I mean, they are technically--

You know, known each other for 25 years.

Oh, come on, Hank! Be serious here!

I am being serious. You be serious, okay?

Stop acting like an eighth grade girl

and be adult about this. Use your eyes.

Go there tomorrow! If it seems like the real deal, back off.

Otherwise, I've heard tell rumors on the Internet

that there are some women that might like a guy who's rich

and young and famous, okay?

For the sake of Pete, when did this become so complicated?

Cheese and crackers!

I forgot that this was my room.

You're a good friend, Hank.

I'm a good friend. Put that in my eulogy.

[door opens]

[knock on door]

[Celia] Is everything okay?

-[Randy] Yeah! -[door closes]

Just wanted to come over and celebrate with my girl.

I won the Veggie Toss.

Oh! And, and some guy

wants me to go...

on a Potato Cannon Tour with him.

[sighs] Feels like a night of dreams.

Randy, that's great. Really.

I'm really happy for you, but...

Look, I'm not your girl.

Uh, what?

I think that this is... moving too fast.

We've known each other 20 years.

It seems to me like it's not moving fast enough.

I think we need to talk.

[sighs] Come on, don't say that.

Don't say that.

Nothing good ever happens

when a girl says, "I think we really need to talk."

Hot chocolate?

Yes.

Thanks, babe.

Oh, my god.

["O Tannenbaum" playing]

Any chance this could get delivered before Christmas?

Oh. [chuckles]

No guarantees, my dear.

[Ben] But you never know.

It is that time of year for miracles.

Thank you.

[whispers] Hi, hi...

-Hey. -It's so good to see you.

Thank you for coming. So much. Oh, hi.

-Oh, hi. -Hi.

Thanks for coming, but I gotta get up, so sit down.

Hi, everyone, and welcome to The Bun Also Rises Open Mic.

[applause]

[Celia] So we have a lot to get through,

so let's just get started.

First up, give a big welcome to Mikey!

[applause]

Thank you, everybody.

[applause]

Well?

You're like a little ninja.

Okay, let's start with the illustrations.

We do not negotiate about Mike Sullivan.

Okay, well...

Look, I feel a little bit rude talking during the Open Mic.

How about I just write up the notes?

Does that sound fair?

You're gonna tell me it's bad, aren't you?

No, Lilly. It doesn't matter what I say.

Look, here's the thing about being a writer.

Lots of people are gonna call you crazy.

All right? They called me crazy.

It's a stupid, dumb, ridiculous thing to want to be, all right?

But you keep at it.

And you never stop believing because one day,

that stupid, dumb, ridiculous thing

isn't stupid or dumb or ridiculous.

It's just real.

And it's yours.

All right.

I'll get your notes.

-Do you have a reading? -Yeah, I got a little somethin'.

-Yeah! All right! -[applause]

[Mikey] That's as much as I wrote.

[Celia] That was great, Mikey. Thank you.

-Thank you. -You did really great.

Okay, next we have Jerry.

[applause]

[microphone feedback]

Because sometimes...

cold is hot...

and...

and others' hot...

is cold.

Okay, let's hear it for Jerry, everybody!

Thank you! [quietly] It's-- it's too long of a poem.

Our little stage has had, uh...

many writers on it, but never one

with this pedigree.

So, please give a warm welcome

to the internationally best-selling author

of "The Christmas Bow," Mr. Jake Granger.

[applause]

So...

I don't actually have a-- a poem or...

a short story.

Um...

In fact, I think maybe I-- I should have come up

with a less dramatic way of-- of doing this.

Th-- this is the first time that I've...

attempted one of these, actually.

It's, um...

it's a confession.

[whispers] What did you do?

Hold that thought!

Sorry, man. I'm sorry.

This will only, uh, this will only take one hot minute.

Thank you. Thank you.

[sighs]

Um, hi.

Um, okay, so everybody here knows that I'm, uh...

you know, not a poet.

But everybody here also knows

how I feel about Cindy Lou Who over there, right?

We both took a lot of left turns,

to, you know, get back in town here, together,

so I wanted to do something very spectacular

for her, so, uh...

Celia, will you come up here please?

Go.

[applause]

[sighs]

[audience] Aww!

[Randy] Roses are red.

They are so red.

Violets...

even more blue.

"Lilly Eggwater"?

And I really...

really...

want to go to Cuba with you.

[Randy chuckles]

That's right.

Cuba, baby.

Huh? [whispers] I spent my advance book money on these.

[applause]

[paper ripping]

Jake!

Hey, Lilly.

Uh, hey, I'll be in touch about the book, okay?

I promise.

Why are you leaving?

[sighs] I, uh...

I gotta get ahead of the snow.

Oh. What snow?

Um...

[both chuckle]

Whoa. [gasps]

Wow.

Hey...

I'll see you later, partner.

"Love always, Jake."

Hey, listen. You know, it's, uh...

maybe for the best. You know?

Okay.

-[tires sliding] -[thumping]

[Jake] Are you kidding me?

-It-- it's not my fault. -Look at this.

It's ice. I don't live in ice.

I live in... nice places that don't have this.

-Hank. -This is ridiculous.

-It's not my-- -Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey.

[Jake] We're the only car on the road.

This is the first place we've seen in miles.

Be careful. This could be a murder house.

It's just for the night.

How about some lights in here?

Yeah, well, the murderer would hide them.

That would be a good move on his part.

Why are you such a big baby?

I'm not being a baby. I don't know why--

It's just showing good-- it's showing good thinking

-to not be afraid. -There's some lights in here.

-Okay. All right. -All right, all right.

-Here we go. -[click]

Gonna hug you in case it's a murder house.

I'm just hugging. Is it a murder house?

Hey.

Oh.

All right, I'm going to bed.

Santa's workshop.

[Hank] No, no, no.

Listen, I get what you're saying. The flight's canceled.

I know it's canceled. I'm not on the flight, so I know.

Okay, here's what I need to know.

When is the next flight?

Oh, you don't know?

Well, okay, do you have The Weather Channel?

Because I'll tell you what I have.

I have 300 years worth of farmers' almanacs.

Maybe I could-- You wanna know what happens in 1908?

'Cause I can make that work for you.

[sighs] All right, listen. I'll level with you.

I-- I just had my third kid, and, um...

I-- I wanna get home, all right?

It's Christmas. I want to get home, and...

I miss my family.

So, I'm sorry I yelled. I'll find my tickets.

I'm sure they're in here somewhere.

Hang on.

I have them.

Or no, I don't actually.

She's still asleep?

Well, she stayed up waiting for you.

Sometimes it takes Randy a while for things to sink in.

You're not mad at me, are you?

Why would I be mad?

Just because you had a sure thing

and threw it away for some shifty, no-good author

who skipped town in the middle of the night?

Guy gets tickets to Cuba, you say no?

He missed the whole point of Cuba.

Whatever. It doesn't matter.

I know why you did it.

You wanted your happy ending.

Your big, romantic moment.

You know, that agent of Jake's made an offer

to Randy and Greg.

He wants to do a book on their stupid potato gun,

take 'em out on the road,

take pictures of 'em at various festivals.

-Oh, man. -Of course.

Another way to leave me here alone.

What are you trying to say?

You were always the smart one.

The pretty woman.

I tried to tell myself I was just looking out for you,

but it wasn't that.

I wanted you to have my life

so I wouldn't have to feel so alone all the time.

-Honey-- -I'm not mad at you.

I'm proud of you.

You had the guts to try for your happily ever after.

And it turned out spectacularly.

How do you think I feel?

I'm getting dumped for a potato gun.

Oh, it's a cannon.

[chuckles]

[knock on door]

Hi.

-Uh, Randy-- -Maybe I should go.

No, no, no, this will just take a second.

I wanted to drop off your stuff.

Randy, I didn't keep anything at your house.

Well, then I guess it's just a box of stuff I didn't need.

[sighs] Merry Christmas.

Are you okay?

Well, I gotta admit, it was...

a pretty dark night.

-Then Greg came over. -Greg? My Greg?

You know it, lamb-chop.

Anyhow, you know, we started talking

about relationships and stuff, and he was trying to explain

to me why he couldn't go on the Potato Cannon Tour with me.

And...

I was, like...

you know, sad.

'Cause... double rejection.

Then Greg said being with Helen

was like getting a new truck.

You know that feeling you get in the morning

when you see it the day after you bought it?

You're like, "Man, I bought a new truck!"

I mean, except he says he feels like that every morning.

And that's when what you said to me,

it made sense.

I mean, we're not each other's new trucks.

We're just, you know...

two people looking for a ride.

He called me a new truck?

He called you an eight-cylinder Hemi.

That's what he called you.

Oh, that's-- It's a good thing.

Yeah.

I gotta go.

[door opens, closes]

You're pretty amazing sometimes, Randy.

Yeah, I know.

You too, Cee-lo.

Friends?

Always.

[chuckles]

Balance.

[door opens, closes]

Mom!

Jake Granger's Santa Claus!

What?

[Celia V.O.] It's fitting it happened on a ferris wheel...

because everything is spinning.

I know it's silly and I know I just met him,

but we somehow...

we understand each other.

There was a connection.

Electric and... and magical.

But it was real.

He felt it too.

It made it clear to me that I'm headed toward the wrong man.

I have been letting pressure and inertia take me places

I didn't want to go.

You might not be Santa,

but you're already responsible for one actual miracle.

You convinced me love was real and possible again.

And now I've met a man who it might be possible with,

and I don't know what to do.

Tell me you have one more miracle in you.

You have to go to her.

Did you read my letter?

Well, I, you know, I was-- I was looking

for the plane tickets, and I--

Let's not get bogged down with details, all right?

Let's just get to the point.

You're the one that said this whole thing is stupid.

Number one, that's before I knew it was real,

number two, did you read the same letter I did?

[laughs]

You're a romantic!

Eh...

All right, here's what we'll do.

We'll wait till the snow gets down to pre-Ice Age levels--

No, it's gotta be today.

It's Christmas Eve. I'm Santa, remember?

You'll freeze to death.

Huh.

I'm gonna get dressed. You find me a ride.

Great, well, they have us on B. and E. already.

Might as well throw in "grand theft tractor."

[Lilly] Same fancy paper,

same handwriting, Jake's Santa.

Jake, right?

Listen, Lilly, about Santa--

Oh, jeez, Mom. Let's just talk turkey.

I mean, Jake must have been the guy who answered

my letter from Santa Inc.

Which is obviously the human face

of Santa's operation.

I should have been able to figure this out.

I mean, how many guys do I expect to quote

early 20th century authors to me in a month?

Mom, we need to go find him.

But we don't even know where he is.

The airport.

We just look for the silliest red jacket.

Well, it's snowing like crazy out there.

Mike Sullivan has a snowmobile.

I've heard.

I'm not even sure that I want to see him.

Jake lied to me. To you, too.

Remember when we went to the mall

and we saw Santa smoking behind the parking garage?

And you told me that it was just one of Santa's helpers?

Isn't there such a thing as good lies sometimes?

-Mom? -No.

This is my wish coming true.

But I said no!

We need to go.

Well, he left us, Lilly!

[door slams shut]

[Celia] You know, you and your father...

he believed in magic like you did.

So much that he made me believe in magic too.

When he died...

I just didn't know who I was anymore.

The real world stinks, Lilly.

It really, really stinks.

And it just took me a really long time

to find that magic again.

When you wrote that letter.

I think that you're right.

I think that we should go find him again.

Oh, honey.

But not tonight.

Tonight is about you and me.

And the magic starts here.

[panting]

Right, uphill. Of course.

[panting]

[horse neighs]

What?

You know, if someone had bothered to ask me

what I wanted for Christmas this year,

I would have said to feel like a kid again.

[Jake chuckles]

What's in there?

[horse neighs]

Go get her.

Yah! Yah!

Oh! No yah! No yah!

Ya! Oh! Whoa, whoa!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

It's Christmas Eve!

Oh, you are gonna have to bundle up more,

young lady, if we're going out there.

Out where?

Daddy's wishing well.

[snowmobile humming]

How are we gonna get--

Mike Sullivan has a snowmobile.

I've heard.

-Hey. -Hey.

Michael, thank you so much for coming on such short notice.

We will be back as fast as we can.

It's Christmas Eve.

We can't just leave him here on Christmas Eve.

You have a kitchen?

Fully stocked.

Take your time then.

[chuckles]

You rode all the way out here in a blizzard

and you're just gonna turn around and go home again?

What are you, dumb?

Your mom said you needed something.

Anyway, thank you for the snowmobile.

We owe you one.

We're going to the wishing well--

Lilly, breathe.

You want us to make a wish for you?

Nah.

I already got mine.

That kid is smooth.

[snowmobile humming]

Everything seems smaller since the last time we were here.

Funny, I was thinking how much bigger everything looked.

It's not the same, Mom.

I miss Daddy.

I know, honey.

I miss him too.

You know, it's not gonna be the same.

But it's gonna be okay.

And it's gonna be okay because we have each other.

Now that's our magic.

Okay?

Okay.

Why don't we get you your wish and get you home?

What?

It's just the letter.

Finding our way back here...

we did that.

Me and you.

It feels like the moral is

if you want something done,

you gotta get out there and do it yourself.

And maybe we don't need magic anymore.

That's the most adult thing you've ever said.

And I hate it.

We did not go through all of this

for you to come out the other side

sounding like an accountant.

Oh! Lilly!

You learned a really good lesson.

But here's another one that I want you to listen to

and I want you to remember.

Never stop being a little girl.

And never stop believing in Santa.

And never, ever stop believing in silly wishes.

Because it is Christmas time and it is the time

for silly wishes.

Mom, what are you doing?

Fate, be kind.

[coin jingles]

Mom.

[horse neighs]

[horse clopping]

It's a horse?

[gasps]

Celia! Lilly!

Oh, oh...

Celia!

Lilly!

I'm Santa!

I... I'm out of breath.

We figured it out, Jake.

You're "Love, always, Santa."

Yeah.

Are you mad?

Oh yeah.

I have so much to say to you.

-[Jake] All right. -[Jake and Celia chuckle]

[chuckles]

You stole a one-horse open sleigh.

-Borrowed. -[chuckles]

I still feel like we're gonna be on the naughty list.

Jake, quick question.

How the heck did you find us?

Well, I just pointed the sleigh

and hoped that Christmas magic would take care of the rest.

And I guess it did.

Magic.

Magic.

Christmas magic?

You went to our house first, right?

And Mike Sullivan told you where to go.

It's okay, Mike Sullivan is pretty magical.

But no more secrets, okay?

We're partners.

Okay, "Dashing Through the Snow"

on three, two, one!

Yah!

[all] ♪ Dashing through the snow

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Over the fields we go

♪ Laughing all the way, Ha, ha, ha ♪

♪ Bells on bob-tails ring

[Lilly] Mom, we can't leave the snowmobile.

[Jake] Guys, I stole a horse.

[Celia] It'll be fine.

♪ O, jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way

♪ O what fun it is to ride

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh, hey! ♪

[singing continues]

♪