Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,568 --> 00:00:06,006
All right, honey,
five weeks on this remodel,
2
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,746
and it is finally done.
3
00:00:07,790 --> 00:00:09,139
What do you think?
4
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:11,272
Oh, this is the most
beautiful drawing...
5
00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:13,274
-Blueprint.
-...blueprint...
6
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,015
-of a ba...
-Restaurant.
7
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,452
...restaurant.
8
00:00:17,495 --> 00:00:19,410
I'’m sorry, babe,
I am exhausted, all right?
9
00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:20,933
This week'’s been brutal.
10
00:00:20,977 --> 00:00:23,588
It'’s the first half
of the third financial quarter,
11
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:26,069
or, as we accountants call it,
"the big dance."
12
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:28,289
Uh-huh. Yeah, that'’s probably
'’cause none of you guys
13
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,378
were ever invited
to actual dances.
14
00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:32,423
Aw, I miss
my little house bully.
15
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:35,339
Been working so much,
I feel like
16
00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:36,471
I haven'’t seen you in weeks.
17
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:38,647
I know. And we
only have one more night
18
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,518
with the house to ourselves
until Cooper'’s back
19
00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:41,606
from writing his new album.
20
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,391
Ah. So...
21
00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:45,219
what do you say we, uh,
22
00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:48,439
go upstairs and get undressed,
23
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:50,572
get into bed and, uh...
24
00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:52,574
split this sleeping pill?
25
00:00:52,617 --> 00:00:55,533
Oh, my God,
you'’re the best husband ever.
26
00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:57,840
[laughs]
Where'’d you get that?
27
00:00:57,883 --> 00:01:01,409
Tina from HR, which I believe
stands for Hella Rested.
28
00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:03,672
[grunts]
Yes. Oh, man.
29
00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:07,328
Ah, yeah, that'’s pure, that's...
30
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,069
Hey, wait, you think
it'’s okay for us
31
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:10,505
to take someone else'’s
prescription?
32
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:13,073
Who'’s gonna bust us,
the dream police?
33
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,770
-[siren blares]
-Oh, my God, it'’s the cops!
34
00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,119
Don'’t panic.
Don'’t panic. Okay, uh...
35
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:18,600
Jake! Jake, relax.
36
00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:20,471
-Relax. Right. Just chill.
-[knocking]
37
00:01:21,516 --> 00:01:24,127
Just chill, man.
38
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:26,042
-Chill, baby.
-Just answer the door.
39
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:30,002
Are you Jake and Claire Davis?
40
00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:32,527
It was Claire!
And the drugs are in the plant!
41
00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:36,618
Yes.
42
00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:39,708
I remember now.
This isour daughter'’s home.
43
00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,144
Thank you, Officer.
44
00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:43,364
I found these two
wandering around the marina.
45
00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:45,366
Same thing happened
to my parents.
46
00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:48,325
Make the most
of their lucid moments.
47
00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:49,761
[door closes]
48
00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:51,763
-He'’s gone.
-[sighs]: Oh.
49
00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:54,114
Oh, it is so hard
being fake senile.
50
00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,941
when you'’re real drunk.
51
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:58,683
Uh, what is going on?
52
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:01,121
And... why do you two smell
like an old rug
53
00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:03,427
in a frat house basement?
54
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:06,038
We were out on a boat playing
flip cup with our new friends
55
00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:08,345
from the yacht club,
and got way too hosed to drive,
56
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,173
so we called the cops
for a ride.
57
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:13,829
That'’s your actual answer?
It sounds like
58
00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:16,440
you'’re quoting a line
from Kid Rock'’s deposition.
59
00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,705
Yeah, cops don'’t
just give people rides.
60
00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:23,230
It turns out, at our age,
if you just act confused,
61
00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:25,014
the police
will drive you anywhere.
62
00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:27,408
They'’re like free Uber.
63
00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:29,236
Mom!
64
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:31,455
Oh, come on, you know?
I pay my taxes.
65
00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:33,501
Well, not this year,
but sometimes.
66
00:02:33,544 --> 00:02:36,895
We shared the back seat with
the most charming shoplifter.
67
00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,810
He said the key to stealing
68
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:42,466
was to work as a team
and have the lookout distracting
69
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,251
-the marks.
-[bottles clinking]
70
00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,469
[fake sneezing]
71
00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:47,732
[exhales]
72
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:55,131
So, who are these new
yacht club friends, anyway?
73
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,742
Oh, we'’ve told you
about Terry and the Gooch.
74
00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:01,485
Terry and the Gooch?
75
00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:05,228
Sounds like a Pixar movie
about STDs.
76
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,667
They are a hoot.
77
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:12,061
They took us skinny-dipping.
78
00:03:12,104 --> 00:03:13,932
-Oh, no way.
-Yeah. You want to see photos?
79
00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:16,021
No way.
80
00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:18,067
Why'’d you two stop hanging out
with your old friends,
81
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:19,199
-like the Johnstons?
-GERALD: Ugh!
82
00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:21,331
You mean the Yawnstons?
83
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:24,160
They are the absolute worst.
84
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,032
Life is just too short
to hang out with lame people.
85
00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:28,686
And speaking of, let'’s bounce.
86
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,471
Great.
87
00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,473
Mom, what'’s in your purse?
88
00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:34,953
Oh. Just a little bit
of none-ya.
89
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:37,173
-None-ya what?
-Claire, don'’t...
90
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,088
None ya business.
Run, Gerald!
91
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:45,050
♪ Imagine me and you, I do
92
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:48,053
♪ I think about you
day and night ♪
93
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:50,273
♪ It'’s only right ♪
94
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:52,144
♪ So happy together...
95
00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:54,321
[vocalizing]
96
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,248
I barely slept last night.
97
00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:10,728
Really? I didn'’t notice during
your nine consecutive hours
98
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,426
of...
[grunting]
99
00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:18,736
I'’m sorry.
100
00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:20,521
But our lives are
stressful enough
101
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,610
without my parents
acting all crazy.
102
00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:25,047
And I just wish that
they would text me back.
103
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:27,179
I mean, who even knows
if they got home last night?
104
00:04:27,223 --> 00:04:29,834
I mean, I'’d offer to go check
on them, but, uh, too scared
105
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:32,837
to walk in and find out why they
have a leash and no dog.
106
00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:35,013
They used to be so reliable.
107
00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:36,537
But ever since they retired,
108
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,930
they'’re acting like
a couple of teenagers.
109
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,889
They'’re partying all the time,
stealing our liquor,
110
00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:43,065
getting brought home
in cop cars.
111
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:45,328
I mean, what if next time
it'’s a doctor car?
112
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:46,634
You mean an ambulance?
113
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:50,072
I'’m just so tired, Jake.
114
00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:52,030
Look, listen, babe, look, look,
if you'’re really worried,
115
00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:54,250
then maybe we should talk
to them, you know?
116
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,470
I'’ve been practicing my dad
voice for when we have kids.
117
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,602
Don'’t you walk away from me!
118
00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:01,039
I will turn this car around!
119
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,433
You'’re in good hands!
Nope. Lost it. I went Allstate.
120
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:05,914
Honestly, I don'’t think
that'’ll work anyway,
121
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:07,785
'’cause whenever my parents
used to yell at me,
122
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,439
it just made me rebel more.
123
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:12,181
That'’s why I ended up dating
so many bad boys.
124
00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:15,489
I wouldn'’t call myself
a badboy.
125
00:05:15,532 --> 00:05:18,535
[laughs]:
Nobody would.
126
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:20,972
Anyway, my clients are visiting
the site on Monday,
127
00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:23,323
-so I got to crank
on this restaurant plan.
-Sounds good.
128
00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:26,326
Let'’s get some work done while
we have the house to ourselves.
129
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:28,371
Guys, stop everything.
130
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:31,200
Cooper has an emergency,
and it'’s more important
131
00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:33,420
than whatever you'’re doing,
because he'’s famous.
132
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,510
What is it?
133
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,381
My label'’s on me
to record a big hit
134
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:39,904
for this summer,
but I have nothing.
135
00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:41,471
That'’s why I dug out
some old records,
136
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:42,777
to help him find inspiration.
137
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,735
Now, this is the entire
soundtrack of my youth.
138
00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:46,171
You can pull out any album
139
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:48,130
and there is
a crystal clear memory attached.
140
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:51,220
Got it. Uh, what about Blondie,
Parallel Lines?
141
00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:53,091
Summer of '’78,
oiled up and sunbathing
142
00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:56,356
on the roof of my mother'’s car.
143
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,880
I can'’t tell you how many times
she drove to the store
144
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:01,883
not realizing I was up there.
145
00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:03,188
Uh, Wayne,
you'’re Cooper's manager.
146
00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:04,625
I hope you'’re not suggesting
147
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,061
he rip off someone else'’s music.
148
00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,889
What?! No.
149
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,717
I'’m suggesting he pay tribute.
150
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,458
Like, uh, to the Eagles.
151
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:14,852
Perhaps a song called
"Hotel Colorado."
152
00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:17,551
Problem is I don'’t have anything
exciting to write about.
153
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:19,770
When my ex-girlfriend Sierra
faked her own death,
154
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:21,990
the songs just poured out of me.
155
00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:26,560
Well, we can'’t kill Sierra.
The cops frown on it.
156
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,692
COOPER: Claire, Jake,
don'’t get me wrong,
157
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:30,781
I'’ve never been happier--
it'’s just that
158
00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:32,870
-living with you guys is so...
-Boring?
159
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,220
Depressing? Lonely?
160
00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:37,092
There I go again,
describing my childhood.
161
00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:37,788
[chuckles]
162
00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,792
I was gonna say normal.
163
00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:44,447
Um, which is what I love
about being here,
164
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,275
but it doesn'’t
exactly make for...
165
00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:48,146
exciting music.
166
00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,321
What?
167
00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,367
What?!
168
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,326
[laughs]: Listen, man, if you
want an exciting summer anthem,
169
00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,590
Claire and I can help you out.
170
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,679
Yeah. You know what?
Grab your umbrella,
171
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,376
'’cause it's about to brainstorm!
172
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,944
JAKE:
You done started it now!
173
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:04,511
-Let'’s do this. Uh...
-All right, uh-huh.
174
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:09,254
-So, swimming. Um, hamburgers.
-Uh, sun. Summer camp.
175
00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:10,734
-Hot dogs,
-Okay, uh, hot.
176
00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:12,606
-Buns.
-Sunscreen. Sunburn.
177
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,346
-Um...
-Melanoma, uh...
178
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:15,913
-...barbecue...
-Yeah, barbecues.
179
00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:17,524
-Barbecues.
-Barbecues. I like that.
180
00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:19,003
-Okay, barbecues. You know what?
-Barbecues. All right.
181
00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:21,658
-Jake, give me a beat.
-All right, here we go.
182
00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,007
-Oh.
-[rhythmic grunting]
183
00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:24,139
♪ Give me some burgers
184
00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:25,357
♪ Everyone can eat
185
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:26,489
♪ It'’s time to barbecue ♪
186
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,796
♪ Girl, give me that meat!
187
00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:31,712
CLAIRE:
No. You know what?
188
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,496
Cooper, maybe you should go
and hang out
189
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,411
with some kids your own speed,
190
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,631
at like a...
like, a YouTube social
191
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:40,634
or, like, a Instagram club...
192
00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,636
-[scoffs]
-Shut up, Jake.
193
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,159
You don'’t know, either.
194
00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:46,291
[chuckles]
That'’s actually a good idea.
195
00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:48,816
I haven'’t been out in a while.
Maybe tonight I hit a club,
196
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:50,600
get a little bit wild,
see if it inspires anything.
197
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:53,211
"BoysJust Want to Have Fun"?
198
00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,953
You know what? I have an idea.
Maybe that'’s the opposite
199
00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:58,086
of what we need to do
with my parents-- get them
200
00:07:58,129 --> 00:07:59,696
to hang out with people
who will slow down their speed.
201
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,742
Mm, Claire,
I think it'’s too early
202
00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:04,353
to talk about putting
your parents in a home.
203
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,660
And that being said,
204
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:08,966
I do have some literature.
205
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,707
WAYNE:
Uh, guys,
206
00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:13,754
no offense, but you'’re being
reallydistracting.
207
00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:15,451
Do you mind
giving us the room?
208
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,237
Sure.
Wow.
209
00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:20,543
That'’s great.
210
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,545
Oh, and, hey,
I'’d love some.
What?
211
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,026
Oh, did you not
offer us pizza rolls?
212
00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:27,202
No.
213
00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:28,638
Well, could you?
214
00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:31,423
No.
215
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,691
Jake, is the picnic
basket ready?
216
00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:38,822
'’Cause my parents
and the Johnstons
217
00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:39,867
should be here any minute.
218
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,695
Yep, filled it
with sparkling cider
219
00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:43,914
and a bunch of
fancy cheeses.
Oh, great.
220
00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:46,700
Yeah, we got your smoky,
your sharp, your creamy
221
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,832
and, uh, this perfectly
aged cheddar
222
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,181
I found in the back
of the fridge.
223
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:51,661
[sniffs]
224
00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:53,315
That'’s a sponge.
Oh.
225
00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:57,972
You are correct.
226
00:08:58,015 --> 00:08:59,582
Hey.
227
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:01,453
So, what'’s the big surprise?
228
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:03,978
Are you pregnant?
229
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:06,720
No, I just ate a lot
of salt yesterday.
230
00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,504
I told you, Gerald,
231
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,332
Claire'’s surprises are
always the worst.
232
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:11,942
Remember this one?
233
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:14,554
"And guess what, guys,
he'’s an accountant!"
234
00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:22,910
No, our surprise is
we got you...
235
00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:24,825
You tell '’em, Claire.
236
00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:26,609
...something you used
to love to do.
237
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:29,394
We talkin'’ nostalgia, y'all.
238
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,397
Grab your tiny binoculars,
239
00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:35,313
because we got you guys
box seats to the...
240
00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:36,924
[imitating fanfare]
241
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:39,970
♪ Symphony!
242
00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:42,320
[disappointedly]:
Oh, thanks, Claire.
243
00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:43,757
Yeah, we even packed up
a picnic basket
244
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,454
of all your favorite foods.
245
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:46,934
Oh, you really expect us
to get excited
246
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:48,631
about brie cheese
and a sponge?
247
00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:52,330
You know, you guys used to love
the symphony.
248
00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:54,115
I also used to think
Mel Gibson was nice.
249
00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:55,856
Opinions change.
250
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:57,988
Uh, why are there
four tickets here?
251
00:09:58,032 --> 00:09:59,903
You guys coming, too?
252
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:02,993
Okay, we'’re-we're really
only doing what'’s best for you.
253
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:05,517
[doorbell rings][giggling]
254
00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:07,607
Claire, who'’s at the door?
255
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:10,305
Okay, we thought tonight
would be a good excuse
256
00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:11,872
for you two to get
a little taste
257
00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:14,004
of your pre-retirement life
258
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:16,354
by catching up
with the...
259
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:20,576
Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-
Johnstons!
260
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,709
It'’s an ambush,
Gerald, run.
261
00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:24,145
What?!
262
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:25,668
Hey, hey, come on.
263
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:26,974
You guys have a lot
in common.
264
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:29,280
You guys are all
retired doctors.
265
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,195
They were foot
doctors, Claire.
266
00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:33,763
The dorks of the
medical community.Yeah.
267
00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:35,678
Their business cards
used to read
268
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:37,637
"This little piggy
went to medical school."
269
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:38,638
Don'’t do this to us, Claire.
270
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:44,426
Mr. and Mrs. Johnston,
right on time.
271
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:45,906
[chuckles] Come on in.
272
00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:47,298
Take a seat.
273
00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:49,474
We were actually
15 minutes early,
274
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:51,694
so we'’ve just been
waiting in the car.
275
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:54,784
We played that game
where you see
276
00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:57,831
who can go the longest
without talking.
277
00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,746
We tied.We tied.
278
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:04,794
Hello, Jean. Gene.
279
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:06,491
It'’s been a while.
280
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,798
I see that you'’re
both still into
281
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:10,800
that intense,
nonblinking eye contact.
282
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:19,940
CLAIRE:
Um... well, hey,
283
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:22,377
Mom and Dad are really excited
about the symphony tonight.
284
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:23,726
As are we.
285
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:26,424
I hear the fourth chair oboist
286
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:30,080
is using a new reed tonight.
287
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:32,213
Hey, you...
288
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:34,519
get out of town,
male Gene.
289
00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:36,217
GERALD: Hey,
uh, Bonnie,
290
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:39,176
why don'’t you help me
get Gene and Jean some water?
291
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,569
No straw.
292
00:11:40,612 --> 00:11:42,745
Gene finds them too suggestive.
293
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:51,101
Okay. Okay.
And for you, Gene?
294
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:54,670
Oh, wish I could, but I had
a fluoride treatment today.
295
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,151
Sort of a birthday tradition.
296
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:03,766
Okay.[Claire chuckles]
297
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,551
Uh, can you excuse us
for just a second?One second.
298
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:08,292
[both chuckle]Hey! Hey!
299
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:11,556
Hey!
[yelping]
300
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,645
Do not run away. The Johnstons
301
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,430
are really excited
about tonight.
302
00:12:15,473 --> 00:12:17,432
Yeah, I'’m sure it's all
they'’ve been thinking about
303
00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:19,695
since they climbed out
of their coffins this morning.
304
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:24,308
Guys, am I the only one
who sees those ghosts
305
00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:26,746
sitting on the couch there?
306
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:29,052
Jake and Claire
307
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:31,881
set us up on a playdate
with some dry-humps.
308
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,623
Okay, well, have fun.
309
00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:36,451
Yeah, I'’m gonna, um,
go get some dinner
310
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:37,669
and head to a club.GERALD: Ooh!
311
00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:40,237
Take us with you.
No.
312
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:41,848
You are going to the concert
with your friends,
313
00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:43,197
and that'’s final.
314
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,156
[groans] You always let Cooper
do the fun stuff.
315
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,423
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. Mm, mm.BONNIE:
Ooh.
316
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,390
All right, your parents
are at a symphony.
317
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:05,654
Cooper'’s at a club.
The house-- she'’s ours.
318
00:13:05,697 --> 00:13:08,091
Mmm. [chuckles]
319
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:11,791
And we'’ve got that "meow meow"
the narcs didn'’t "joink."
320
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:14,489
That'’s a lot of street talk
for a cut-in-half Tylenol PM.
321
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,406
But hey, if it'’s gonna
help me sleep better,
322
00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:20,538
"joink" me that
sweet "meow meow."
323
00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,978
[both chuckle][knock on door]
324
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:27,545
[coughs] Come on!
325
00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:29,852
Who'’s there?
326
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,854
GENE:
It'’s Gene Johnston,
327
00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:33,638
and I'’m here
with my current wife,
328
00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:35,858
Jean Johnston.
329
00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:39,819
Hello, Jeans. [chuckles]
330
00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:42,865
Where are my parents?
331
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:45,302
We don'’t know.
The symphony started,
332
00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:48,088
they stood up, yelled,
"Play some Skynyrd,"
333
00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:51,352
and then took off.
334
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:54,442
Oh, my God, they ditched
the concert? Gah!
335
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:58,185
Why can'’t we just have
one night? One night?
336
00:13:58,228 --> 00:14:02,102
Um, do you have any idea
where they may have gone?
337
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:05,888
No, they-they just said,
"See ya, dry-humps."
338
00:14:19,293 --> 00:14:22,600
Are you sucking out
my soul right now?
339
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:30,565
Oh, they'’re not answering
any of my calls or my texts.
340
00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:32,915
I'’m getting really
worried, Jake.
All right,
341
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:35,048
we need to start thinking
like they think.
342
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:38,094
Here, chug this bottle
of vodka.
343
00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:41,315
No.
They could be anywhere.
344
00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:42,925
We need to call them
from a number
345
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:43,883
that they don'’t recognize,
like...
346
00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:46,276
the land line!The land line!
347
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,582
Yes.
Ugh!
348
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:48,931
Yeah, yeah.Got it.
349
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:51,542
Good, got it, good.Okay...
350
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:54,719
[both cough]
351
00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:56,460
Baby, you'’re a genius.
352
00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:58,462
When'’s the last time
we even used this thing
to make a call?
353
00:14:58,506 --> 00:14:59,899
Uh, I think it was
to call Blockbuster
354
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:02,640
to see if Deuce Bigalow
was out yet.
355
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,816
Oh, wait, no.
356
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,862
As soon as they hear your voice,
they'’re gonna hang up.
357
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,430
Right, right, uh,
who should I be?
358
00:15:09,473 --> 00:15:11,649
I don'’t know, you're
terrible at impressions.
359
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:15,218
[imitating lamely]:
You know, Christopher Walken
360
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:18,439
begs... to differ.
361
00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:21,964
[speakerphone on]
362
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:24,401
[dialing]
363
00:15:24,445 --> 00:15:26,882
[line ringing]BONNIE: Go for Bonnie.
364
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,014
Oh, thank God,
they'’re alive.
365
00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:30,581
Now talk, talk, talk.Oh, um...
366
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:34,934
[distorting voice]:
Hey, Bonnie, it'’s The Gooch!
367
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:37,806
BONNIE: Hey, girl.
I can barely hear you.
368
00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:40,069
The Gooch is a woman?
369
00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:44,117
If you can hear me, just meet us
at the Lavender Lounge.
370
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,380
Google "MapQuest,"
then type it in.
371
00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:49,339
It'’ll give you directions
you can print out.
372
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:51,776
Tell the bouncer
you'’re with Cooper James.
373
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,735
Bye, Gooch.
374
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:56,694
Unbelievable.
375
00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:59,741
I can'’t believe those two.
[chuckles]
376
00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:01,003
Let'’s go get my parents.
377
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:04,093
Hell yeah.
I'’ll print out the directions.
378
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:09,142
♪
379
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,056
All right, let'’s
just spread out
380
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:11,535
and try and find
my parents.
381
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,276
Sounds great.
382
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,712
Or we could just walk over
to that giant cage
383
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:15,713
they'’re currently dancing in.
384
00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:18,020
♪
385
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:20,980
Oh, my God.
386
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:22,285
Mom! Dad!
387
00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:25,636
Oh, honey, I think
intermission is over.
388
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,551
We should head back
to the concert hall.
389
00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:30,815
Okay, I-I can'’t believe
you guys lied to us.
390
00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:32,904
And I can'’t believe I'm about
to say this to my parents,
391
00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:35,777
but get out of that sex cage!
392
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:39,128
CLAIRE:
Hey, stop!
393
00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:40,434
Bonnie and Gerald Wheeler!
394
00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:43,219
Get your asses out
of that damn cage
395
00:16:43,263 --> 00:16:45,178
before I turn this club around!
396
00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:47,571
Don'’t make me
start counting.
397
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,399
One, two...
398
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:50,835
Don'’t let me get to three.COOPER:
Hi, guys.
399
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,402
Fancy seeing you here.
400
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,013
You, too, Captain Kangaroo.
401
00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:56,015
The party'’s over, that's right.
402
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:58,887
What did I do?Doesn'’t matter.
403
00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:01,063
All y'’all, get in the car.
We'’re going home.
404
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:05,154
You gonna like the way you look,
I guarantee it!
405
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:07,069
Damn it,
I went Men'’s Wearhouse.
406
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:12,988
Now, what do you two have
to say for yourselves?
407
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,425
BOTH:
Sorry, Jake and Claire.
408
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:17,079
All right.
409
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:18,950
CLAIRE:
Thank you.
410
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:21,257
And we don'’t like
yelling at you guys.
411
00:17:21,301 --> 00:17:23,738
We just have a lot
going on right now, okay?
412
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:26,871
We are both slammed at work,
we'’re not getting any sleep.
413
00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:29,309
And the last thing we need
is to be tracking you guys down
414
00:17:29,352 --> 00:17:32,529
to a nightclub
at almost 11:00 p.m.
415
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:36,142
I thought it was
way later than that.
God.
416
00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:37,795
CLAIRE:
Now, I'’m sorry,
417
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:39,232
but you guys are my parents,
418
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:41,234
and I barely
recognize you anymore.
419
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:44,933
Oh, honey...
420
00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:47,414
that is the nicest thing
anyone'’s ever said to us.
421
00:17:47,457 --> 00:17:49,155
What?
422
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:51,766
Back when we were doctors,
we were so boring
423
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:53,159
and nerdy and tired.
424
00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:55,770
We looked exactly like...
425
00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:56,771
Like the Johnstons.
426
00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:57,772
I was gonna say you two.
427
00:17:57,815 --> 00:17:59,730
But anyway,
428
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:03,125
your dad and I, we worked
our asses off for 35 years.
429
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:04,474
And the main thing
that kept us going
430
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,781
was the idea that someday
we could retire early
431
00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:09,044
and have all the fun everyone
else had in their 20s.
432
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,655
Yeah, which we completely
missed out on because
433
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:15,703
we were the crazy knuckleheads
who decided to marry young
434
00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:17,270
and have, you know,
435
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:19,315
a beautiful baby
right out of college.
436
00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:22,753
Jake, are you crying?
437
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:26,409
Parents are people,
too, you know,
438
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,324
and you, like,
forget that sometimes.
439
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:31,240
Like when you'’re simulating
sex moves on the dance floor.
440
00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:32,415
Okay.
441
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:36,245
He'’s just very tired.
We both are.
442
00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:38,160
So, this is just a phase?
443
00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:40,249
Yes, of course it is.Sure.
444
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:42,469
Until you two are ready
to make us grandparents,
445
00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:45,211
your dad and I are
living our lives by one rule:
446
00:18:45,254 --> 00:18:47,256
till death do we party.
447
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,171
We came up with that
in the cage.
448
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:50,694
Wait, w-what did you say?
449
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:53,132
There'’s a sex cage in there.No, no, no.
Your new rule.
450
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:54,698
Oh, till death do we party.
451
00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:56,047
Wayne, that'’s an
amazing song title.
452
00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:57,223
"Till Death Do We Party."
453
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:58,398
WAYNE:
Ah, the creative process,
454
00:18:58,441 --> 00:18:59,834
it'’s so fascinating.Yeah.
455
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:01,140
Now, the way I remember
this happening is
456
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:02,358
you guys were pretty drunk,
457
00:19:02,402 --> 00:19:04,186
and Cooper came up
with the song idea.
458
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:07,407
Great job, Cooper.
Come on.
459
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,627
Okay, well,
I guess the two of us
460
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,195
are gonna go back home
and go to sleep.
461
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:14,936
So... here'’s 20 bucks.
You guys have some fun.
462
00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:17,417
[whooping]
463
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,593
Come on, Dad, that ass isn'’t
gonna back itself up.
464
00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:20,768
Oh, yeah.
465
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:29,342
All right, I have written a song
for "Till Death Do We Party,"
466
00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:31,605
and I would love to get
your honest opinion.
467
00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:33,041
Yeah, all right.All right.
Right on.
468
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:33,911
Let'’s do this.COOPER:
Ready?
469
00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:36,044
[song inaudible]
470
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:38,220
Ah...
471
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:39,830
Hey, this is actually good.
472
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:43,704
I didn'’t mean to hit
"actually" so hard.
473
00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:45,227
I'’m feeling the bass line, man.Yeah?
474
00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:46,620
It'’s nice. Yeah.Yeah.
[chuckles]
475
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:48,056
♪ Ba da da
476
00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:50,145
♪ Till death do we party
477
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,320
[laughs]
478
00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:52,756
All right, now.Yeah.
479
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,931
I'’m kind of loving those
480
00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:55,977
sexy moaning sounds
in the background.
481
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:56,760
Yeah, that'’s your mom.
482
00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:01,461
Sick burn, man.
Crushed her.
483
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:02,375
That actually is Bonnie, though.
484
00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:05,508
What'’s that, now?
485
00:20:05,552 --> 00:20:06,988
Yeah, when we were
recording the track,
486
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:07,945
she was in the studio
and just happened
487
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:09,469
to be making those noises,
488
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:11,122
so my producer said,
"Let'’s just lay it in
489
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:13,647
if we can'’t get her to stop."
490
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:15,518
Please tell me you'’re joking.
491
00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:17,259
It'’s great, right?
And those, uh,
492
00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:18,826
"Oh, yeah, give it
to me, baby..."
493
00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:19,522
That'’s your dad.
494
00:20:25,702 --> 00:20:27,748
So, where is this
gonna be played?
495
00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:29,271
My label loves it.
496
00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:30,794
It'’s gonna be all over
the radio this summer.
497
00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:32,361
All over? Wow.Yeah.
498
00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:33,841
Eww.Every single radio?
499
00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:36,278
Uh-huh.That'’s crazy, man.
500
00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:38,280
Like, even this radio?If you turn it on.
501
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:40,239
That'’s nuts. Wow!Yeah.
502
00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:42,066
It'’s gonna be popular,
I bet,
503
00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:43,764
on all the radios.I hope so.
504
00:20:43,807 --> 00:20:46,245
[grunting]
505
00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:50,423
[continues grunting]
506
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:56,820
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
507
00:20:56,864 --> 00:20:58,169
It'’s a really great song,
though.JAKE: Yeah, we love it.
508
00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:05,612
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
35354
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
