All language subtitles for Letterkenny s11e03 Lost Dog.eng

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Original subtitles

A�few�hockey�players�come into�the�bar�the�other�day...

-�Le�boys. -�Boys.

-�Boys. -�Boys.

New�hockey�player�themed�menus.

HOCKEY�PLAYERS: Oh,�Bonnie�McMurray!

You�picked�the�right�day for�Sandis�Ozolunch.

Ryan�Getzlunch�was actually�Jonesy's�idea.

I'll�get�some�Water�Gretzky for�the�table.

Still�or�Guy�Carbonated?

I'd�have�a�Corey�Perrier and�Vladimir�So-vodka.

Scotch�Stevens�for�me.

Jonesy? Gary�Wetman�your�whistle?

I�usually�go for�the�Jaromir�Lager,

but�I�like�the�looks�of�this Bloody�Marián�Hossa�special.

Comes�Kris�Letangy with�Dill�Kessel,

garnished�with Henrik�Sardine�and�Clam�Neely.

I�love�Brent�Seafood.

Wait�'til�I�tell�you about�the�Matt�Marlin.

HOCKEY�PLAYERS: Gail�Hawerchuk!

You�in�for�some Henrik�Lunch-qvist?

And�to�think�we�almost�skipped Mikael�Backlunch�altogether.

Good�thing�we�didn't go�for�Nick�Suzushi.

This�is�shaping�up�to�be the�Owen�Nolunch�of�our�lives.

And�to�think�I�almost�just gra.

I'm�ready�to�eat�that Jake�Pretzel�off�the�floor.

You�know,�I�started�my�way with�a�Connor�McDanish.

Let's�order�your�James�Meals.

I�know�it's�hot�out,�but�I�could go�for�a�Jonathan�Cheapsoup.

Like�a�Brian�Campbell's?

Gailer,�what's�your soup�of�the�Damon�Severson?

Roasted�Cal�Butternut.

How's�the�Ramen�Hamrlik?

Better�than�the�Tom�Yum�Wilson.

And�to�think�we�almost just�went�for�Josh�Pho-Sang.

I'll�get�the�cheese�plate. I'.

Ivan�Provolone's the�real�highlight.

Comes�with�bread...

Josh�Naan'derson.

Main�Shayne�courses?

How's�the�Sloppy�Joe�Thornton?

It's�got�Parme-Sean�Couturier with�diced�Radish�Vrbata

and�Turnip�Stevenson.

And�to�think�we�were just�going�to�whip�up

some�RJ�Umberger�Helper.

Can�you�tell�me�about�the�meat in�your�beef�Stu�Barnes?

It's�Jaroslav�Halal.

I�was�hoping�for�some Jake�DeBrisket.

Comes�with�Leon�Dry-Salad and�there's�a�bean,�too,

um,�Kidney�Crosby.

As�much�as�I�like a�Sheldon�Soufflé,

I'm�gonna�keep�it�simple,�go with�the�Charlie�Mac'n�cheese.

It�comes�with�Tyson�Toast. Anything�else?

Just�some�Matthew�Ketchup.

And�to�think�we�were�just gon.

Speaking�of�beef�Stu�Barnes, how's�the�Patrice�Bourguignon?

Secret�ingredient is�Dijon�Phaneuf.

Comes�with�Cedric�Baguette,

but�I�should�have some�Travis�Greens.

Mm,�Kale�Hunter.

Oh,�is�there�an�Aki�Berger?

We've�got�Grant�Fuhrgers.

We�could�also�do an�Artemi�Panini

or�a�Sandwich�Ozolinsh.

Ham�Ward�subs�too.

Adam�Foot-long?

Or�a�Six-inch�Ozolinsh.

And�to�think,�we�were just�going�to�crush

some�Bagel�Bites�Battaglia?

Sort�desserts�now or�are�youse�watching

your�weight�Belak's?

You�got�anything�like a�Marc-André�McFlurry?

Of�course.�Comes�with Jonathan�Huber-cookie-dough.

We've�also�got�Tyson�Blue-Barrie and�James�Kiwiznewski.

Mm,�should�we�get chocolate�fondue�Koivu?

I've�got�some�Joe Nieuwen-Klondike�bars

in�the�freezer.

For�me�it'll�be�the�Pie�Domi with�Caramel�Nurse.

Alright,�but�looking�at your�waistlines

I'd�consider the�Anthony�Deangelato.

Yeah.

Solid�menu,�Gailer�Hall.

Thanks,�Bon�Tugnutt.

Say,�who's�your�favourite player?

Gabriel�Longestcock.

��

Stewart-Stewart!

What's�Gucci?

Tibadoo's�dog's�lost.

And�what's�he Tiba-doing�about�it?

Oh,�shut�the�fuck�up.

He's�not�Tiba-doing anything.

(Gasping)

He'll�just�Tiba-do�without�it.

What?!

Do�you�wanna�know�what?

It's�kinda�what�a�lot of�country�folk�are�like.

They�just�open the�door�in�the�morning,

let�the�dog�out�for�the�day, open�it�up�again�at�night,

and�if�it's�not�there, well,�fuckin'--

Tough�sleddin'.

That's�how�I�was�raised.

Fucks�youse,�Tibadoos.

KATY:�It's�kind�of double�trouble�here�though.

It�was�Jivin's�dog�first, it�ran�away�from�him,

and�he�gave�up�on�it.

There's�Jivin fuckin'�up�again.

And�then�Tibadoo�found�it, it�ran�away�from�him,

and�he�gave�up�on�it.

What�if�it's�hurt�somewhere?

You�know, if�that�dog�came�back,

he�probably�wouldn't even�take�it�to�the�vet.

Nope,�just�wrap�it in�a�blanket,

put�it�in�front�of a�fire�for�a�few�days.

They're�well-meaning�folks, but�a�bit�redneck.

Fucks�youse,�Tibadoos.

I�ask�again, what�if�it�is�hurt�somewhere?

We'll�find�it.

Found�more�than�a�few runaways�during�my�time�doing

pit�bull�rescue�in Vancouv.

You're�a�great�gal,�Rosie.

Yeah.

And...�we've�got�Glen.

Glen?

��

Glen.

Roald.�Daniel.

Rosie.�Katy.�Stewart.

Wayne! As�I'm�sure�you�all�know,

I�added�dog-trapping�to�my wildly�impressive�skillsets

at�the�age�of�17, whilst�doing�missionary�work

in�Puerto�Escondido.

I�didn't�knows�that.

It's�in�his�Twitter�bio.

Twitter�is�a�cult.

Well,�don't�you�remember when�Glen�was�written�up

in�The�Banner�for finding�that�beagle?

Oof,�beagles�go�bucky.

Super�tough�to�find�because they're�trying�to�get�lost.

I�caught�him�swimming�island to.

They�get�a�scent and�they're�gone.

-�Sounds�familiar. -�Silly�fuckin'�hounds.

High�survival�rate�however.

So,�Glen�Close.

How�are�you going�to�find�it!

First�things�first.

The�lost�dog.

A�three-year�old�Nova�Scotia Duck�Toller�Retriever.

(gasping) Just�a�little�boo.

Oh!�Is�he�a�good�boy?

He�is�such�a�boy.

How�long's�the�boy�been�lost?

Well,�he�might�identify�as a�s.

Five�days.

I�wasn't�finished virtue�signaling,�Glen.

-�Roald. -�Name?

-�Gregory. -�(Giggling)

Is�it�fuckin'�really?

Thou�shalt�not�lie,�Wayne!

You're�not�supposed�to give�dogs�human�names.

Imagine�trying�to call�him�at�a�dog�park?

(Laughing) No,�Gregory!�Bad�dog,�Gregory.

Oh!�Sad�dog,�Gregory.

We�will�not�be�using�his�name.

Fuckin'�eh.

Once�a�dog�has�been in�the�wild�for�that�long,

their�brain�undergoes a�chemical�change

called�Missing�Dog�Syndrome,

basically�fight or�flight�mode.

So,�when�we�encounter�him, do�not�use�his�name.

It�might�trigger�him to�run�away!

Whys�isn't�Tibadoos outs�looks-in'�for�him?

Same�reason�Jivin�wasn't.

Yeah,�he's�a�fuckin'�degen.

There's�only�a�3%�chance a�dog�will�go�to�their�owner

after�entering Missing�Dog�Syndrome.

(Scoffing) So�it's�a�moot�point.

Who�the�fuck�are�you?

Also,�we�should�probably track�him�in�smaller�groups.

A�large�pack�might�spook�him.

Girls�rule,�boys�drool?

Don't�threaten�me with�a�good�time.

Well,�I'll�go�with�you, good�buddy.

Wh--�Good�buddy?�Wayne!

Well,�whats�abouts�me's?

You're�too�emotional�to�track, Squirrely�Dan.

That�energy's�not�good for�a.

I�am�not�emotionals!

We'll�consult�a�psychic.

What?

To�find�the�dog.

A�psychic?

Listen. When�I�was�a�young�skid,

my�parents, they�owned�a�Chow�Chow�named

Tatiana�Pamplemousse, and�I�know�I�seem�like

I've�been�a�bit�emotional throughout�all�this,

but�that's�just�because�Tatiana went�missing�one�evening--

-�Doesn't�matter. -�Anyhoo.

Let's�go�up�Wallace�way.

KATY:�I'll�take�Eaton�way.

-�WAYNE:�I�need�fuel. -�ROSIE:�West�end?

WAYNE: Oh,�Bender's�is�cheaper.

(Whimpering) Free�beer.

Mr.�Dan?

My--�My�sweeties�Ellens reads�tea�leaves.

That's--�That's�kinds�of likes�a�psychics?

(Both�giggling�maniacally)

Alright.

I�guess�I'll�drive.

Can't�believe we�got�stood�up,�buddy.

I've�never�been stood�up�in�my�life,�bro.

Stood�up�for�a�gym�date, no�less.

See,�bro, now�we'll�never�know.

About�their�gym�styles?

No,�about�their�steez,�buddy. We'll�never�know!

Like,�what's�your favourite�steez?

Hm.�Oh.

I�like�that�steez,�buddy.

Ooh,�I�like�that�steez.

Oh,�love�that�steez,�bro. (Chuckling)

Aw,�that's�good�steez,�too.

Hi,�Tassie!

Hey,�Cassie!

-�I'm�Cassie. -�I'm�Tassie.

Yeah,�we'll�get�'er.

If�she's�Tassie�steez, all�is�forgiven,�buddy.

All�is�forgiven if�she's�Cassie�steez,

but�we'll�never�know,�bro!

We'll�never�know now,�buddy.

-�WOMAN�1:�Reilly? -�WOMAN�2:�Jonesy?

-�Hey,�I'm�April. -�May.

Sorry�we're�late.

That's�okay.

No,�it's�not, it's�tacky.

BOTH:�Yeah.

But�we're�here�now.

BOTH:�Yeah.

Wait.�No,�we�have beer�league�now,�buddy.

Oh.�Hundy�P.

We�waited�all�afternoon.

Completely�my�fault.

May�was�on�time--

-�April. -�May?

-�April. -�May.

It's�not�your�fault your�little�brother�came�home

late�with�the�car.

-�You're�right. -�I�know.

So,�um,�we're�here�now?

Yeah,�but�we�got beer�league�now�though.

So,�skip�it?

BOTH: We're�not�skipping�hockey.

Then�we'll�come�watch you�play.

(Both�laughing)

Okay.

You�don't�bring�your�sweetie to�your�beer�league�game.

Well,�why�not?

Usually�there's�only�one clueless�guy

that'll�bring�his�sweetie�to his�beer�league�game,

and�that�means�there's one�lone�rocket�sitting�solo

in�the�stands,�and�if�that clu,

then�I'm�finding�out�who that�guy�is�on�the�other�team,

and�I'm�chirping that�guy�all�night.

See,�I'll�know who�the�clueless�guy�is

half�way�through�warm-up, and�I'll�be�getting

right�in�his�kitchen all�night�long.

-�Are�you�serious? -�I�think�they're�serious.

-�You�guys�are�rockets. -�NASA�certified.

-�Aggressive�boost�gliders. -�Exhaust�velocity.

-�Ballistic�missiles. -�Thrust�equalizers.

Unrestricted�burners.

Static�tested, staged�in�orbit.

BOTH:�Huh.

But�there's�no�way�we'd�put a�.

Rain�check?

No�time,�buddy. We�gotta�go.

Rain�check!�Love�your�steez!

Love�the�steez,�snipees!

(Scoffing)

April?

May?

April.

May.

We�just�got�ditched.

I've�never�been ditched�a�day�in�my�life.

BOTH:�Huh.

Tommy�Bahama lookin'�motherfucker.

Mine�looks�like�a�toe.

What�sort�of�botched�birth�canal did�that�mole�roll�out�of?

Monkfish,�hagfish,�flightless dung�beetle�lookin'�mutt.

Fuckin'�hockey�players.

You�know,�dudes�like�that spend�the�entire�game

looking�at�their�reflection in�the�glass.

Dudes�like�that go�tongue�out.

We�drove�all�the�way from�the�city�for�this?

We�have�to�make�this�trip�worth a�tank�of�gas,�am�I�right?

Bring�a�back-up�ensemble?

A�couple.�You?

My�car�is�my�closet,�lovely.

Oh.�Hey,�Tassie!

Hey�Cassie!

I'm�Tassie.

I'm�Cassie.

You�sure?

GLEN:�Now,�a�Duck�Toller doest

of�say�a�Shepherd or�a�Shar�Pei.

But�he'll�sure�as�shit be�preyed�upon.

Breed's�not�a�big�roamer, fortunately.

Unlike�fuckin'�beagles.

Is�it�true�that purebreds�are�more�likely

to�get�stolen�than�mutts?

Texas�sized�10-4.

I�hope�someone didn't�scoop�Gregory�up

and�start�whoring�him�out.

Fuckin'�Gregory.

You're�not�supposed�to give�dogs�human�names.

Well,�if�he's�three, his�pills�should�be�long�gone.

Not�a�safe�assumption if�yo.

Most�lost�or�spooked�dogs�will have�a�three

to�seven�kilometer�range, though�some�will�get�up�to�18.

They'll�often�centre�around their�last�known�place,

even�if�something�traumatic happened�like�gettin'�dinged.

Dogs�will�follow�barriers.

Edges�of�the�bush.

Fence�lines.

Dogs�circle�before�laying�down.

So�watch�for�patches of�flattened�down�grass

in�a�twisted�pattern.

This'd�be�a�lot�harder for�the�dog�in�the�winter,

but�it'd�be�a�lot�easier�for�us.

Fun�fact,�dogs�will�often go�where�horses�are�kept.

What�if�the�weather�gets�bad?

They'll�seek�shelter�from the�wind�behind�something

rather�than�crawl under�something.

He'll�roam�'til�it�gets�really bad�before�finding�shelter.

Dogs�can�sense�weather before�it�shows�up.

Is�it�true�that�dogs can�sense�earthquakes?

Yeah,�'cause�Gus�slept throu.

-�Did�he�really? -�Is�that�right?

Pooped�in�the�bed a�wee�bit�later�though.

Did�he�really?

Is�that�right?

Yup,�which�ultimately became�breakfast�in�bed.

Yup.

So...

Not�all�of�it,�Roald.

Leave�about�a�teaspoon in�the�bottom.

It's�okay. Now�turn�it.

Rotate�it�three�times.

And�make�a�wish.

(Scoffing) Roald.

We's�all�wishin' for�the�same�things.

That's�why�we called�youse,�Ellens.

Wish�you'd�come�more�often,�Dan.

SKIDS:�(whispering) Sex,�sex,�sex,�sex,�sex.

-�Butt�sex. -�Butt�sex.

Do�you�want�me�to�tell�you th?

(Roald�squealing)

Dogs�will�go�to�horses, you�know.

You�takes�the�goods with�the�bads.

Such�is�lifes.

Okay.

What�I'm�doing�now�is examining�the�tea�leaves

for�any�shapes that�may�jump�out.

Any�numbers,�letters...

starting�at�the�handle,

and�moving�clockwise around�the�cup.

STEWART:�'Kay.

It�looks�like�Gregory�is�hurt.

(Gasping) What?!

I�can't�tell�if�he�still�is,

but�I�see�the�letter�T.

Tibadoo.

He�isn't�moving.

BOYS: What?

He's�not�dead, he's�just�not�moving.

And�then?

I�get�the�sense�that he's...�confined�somehow.

I�see�the�letter�D.

Degens�from�upcountries?

I�see�an�A.

(Whispering) Aliens?

And�I�see�an�N.

Wait.

D-A-N?

That's�my�names.

Well,�it�could�also--

could�also�spell�"Nad".

-�Yeah. -�Yeah,�okay.

Do�you�think�this looks�like�a�dick?

(Players�hooting�and�hollering)

��

���Tear�the�roof�up,�baby,���

���Don't�give�a�shit how�it's�done���

SHORESY:�What�fucking clueless�pieces�of�shit

brought�their�broads�to watch�'em�play�beer�league?

(Knocking)

-�Reilly! -�Jonesy!

Thank�you�for�inviting us�to�watch�you�play

-�beer�league,�babe. -�Yeah,�thank�you.

Thank�you.

We�know�how�much�you love�beer�league,�babe.

We�know�how�seriously�you�take y.

We're�just�gonna�be your�lil'�cheerleaders!

-�Score�me�a�goal! -�Love�ya,�babe!

APRIL: Have�fun!

Where�the�fuck�did�he�go?

Gonna�be�a�long�night, you�fuckin�losers!

I�hope�he�didn't�get�dinged.

Statistically, getting�dinged�by�a�car

will�happen�when the�dog�first�gets�lost.

Slim�chance�it�will happen�in�the�days�after.

Dogs�most�often�travel�in�a linear�pattern,

back�and�forth.

Quarries�are�another good�place�to�look.

Shelter�from�the�wind.

Bonus�if�there's�a�water�source.

They�need�time�to�calm�after Lost�Dog�Syndrome�kicks�in.

They�need�time to�get�desperate

before�they'll seek�out�civilization.

Okay,�this�is�important.

If�we�see�Gregory, don't�say�his�name

the�way�he's�used�to�hearing�it.

His�name�is�now a�trigger�to�run.

What�you�wanna�do�is kneel�down�without�facing�him.

But�keep�him�in your�peripheral�vision.

Almost�like�you're�facing another�dog�that�isn't�there.

And�you�want�to�use�words Gregory�knows,�like�walk.

-�Treat. -�It'll�also�be�beneficial

to�have�some�treats�on�your person.

'Kay,�back�to�saying Gregory's�name�in�a�way

that�he�doesn't�usually�hear.

It�helps�to�sing�it.

-�Sing�it? -�Yup.

-�Sing�Gregory? -�Make�it�sing-songy.

Well,�imagine�Tibadoo's at�the�back�door

hollerin'�and�telling�him�it's time�to�come�for�supper,

he'd�probably�say something�like:�Gregory!

BOTH:�(Sternly) Gregory!

-�Gregory! -�Right?

So,�you�want�to�give�each syllable�a�different�tone.

Shake�things�up�a�little.

-�Make�it�sing-songy. -�Try�it.

-�You�try�it. -�Try�it.

You�try�it.

(Glen�&�Rosie clearing�their�throats)

BOTH:�(Singing) Gregory.

GLEN: ���Gregory���

ROSIE: ���Gregory���

���Gregory,�Gregory���

���Gregory���

(speaking�flatly) Gregory.

(Sighing)�You're�not�supposed to�give�dogs�human�names.

Ooh,�look�over�there.

Some�flattened�down�grass in�a�twisted�pattern.

Sheltered�from�the�wind.

Close�to�a�fence�line.

-�And�look... -�(Neighing)

Horses.

Oh.

SHORESY:�Whole�rink's�laughin' .

Fuck�you,�Shoresy.

SHORESY:�Fuck�you,�Reilly. I�haven't�laughed�this�hard

since�your�mom�queefed�out her�birthday�candles.

Fuck�you,�Shoresy.

Fuck�you,�Jonesy. I�haven't�laughed�this�hard

since�your�mom cleared�out�Denny's�at�3:00�am

with�her�coke�farts.

(Whistle�blowing)�Fuck,�boys,�I .

-�What's�that�Gap�Dream? -�Fuck�you,�Shoresy.

Fuck�you,�Reilly.�I'm�only asking�so�I�can�help�your�mum.

Her�ginger�mitt's so�rotten�I�call�it

Anne�of�Gangrene�Gables. Sticks�in.

Fuck�you,�Shoresy.

SHORESY:�Fuck�you,�Jonesy. Anything's�better�than

your�mom's�spoiled�oyster�stank.

(Whistle�blowing)

(Grunting) Fuck,�Shoresy!

Fuck's�sake,�Reilly.

How�do�you�get�'em�to sit�still�like�that?

I�can't�take your�mum�fucking�anywhere.

Fuck�you,�Shoresy.

Yeah,�fuck�you,�Reilly. Your�mom�hand�bombed�herself

at�our�picnic�at�the�beach andf

of�squirt�into�the�water like�sea�levels

aren't�rising at�an�alarming�rate.

Fuck�you,�Shoresy.

SHORESY: Fuck�you,�Jonesy.

Your�mom�gave�me�an�over- the-pants�handy�at�the�mall

and�then�cried when�I�cleaned�myself�up

with�the�racy�top she�got�at�Sirens.

Fuck�you,�Shoresy.

Fuck�you,�you�piece�of�shit. (Whistle�blowing)

(Whistle�blowing)

Fuck,�I�wish�they'd�just go�back�to�the�city,�buddy.

SHORESY:�Hey,�Reilly,�speaking r

in�the�city�was�a�rough�trip never�wandered�from

your�mom's�mitt to�her�butthole.

Fuck�you,�Shoresy.

I�swear,�if�you�weren't a�fucking�ref,�I'd--

SHORESY:�Fuck�you,�Jonesy. I�swear�if�your�mom�fills

my�bedroom�with�any�more�squirt I'm�going�to�need�to�rent

a�water�taxi�to�get out�of.

Fuck�you,�Shoresy, and�fuc.

I'm�out,�too.�Ninja�dust,�bro.

SHORESY:�Well,�fuck�it, dibs�on�digies,�boys.

Hey,�you�guys�wanna�get�some Thai�style�chow�mein,�or...

��

D.

An�A.

And�an�N.

There's�lots�of�guys in�Letterkennys�named�Dan.

ELLEN:�It�could�be�"Nad".

You�know,�a�few�of�those�guys even�shares�my�last�names.

I�thought�your last�name�was�Dan.

(Scoffing) Dan�is�a�first�name.

What�did�you�think my�first�name�was?

Squirrelly.

(Phone�vibrating)

Oh,�hold�on.

(Phone�vibrating)

Squirrelly�Daniel's�phone, Squirrely�Daniel�speakings.

Uh-huh?�Oh,�terrific.

Oh,�good�news.

Toodle-oo.

Oh,�they�found�Gregory.

NOAH:�We�first�saw�him running�the�fence�line

where�the�horses�are�kept.

Yes�and�then�he�came�back later�that�afternoon

when�we�were installing�the�swing.

Ah!�I�hadn't�mentioned. We're...�swingers�now.

Oh.

A�large�portion�of�our community�enjoys�swinging.

Mainly�the�children, traditionally,

but�recently�we've�joined a�n.

We've�swung�with each�other's�parents�once.

How's�the�dog?

Oh,�he�was�barely�conscious when�he�first�wandered�over.

Eyes�barely�open. Just�little�slits.

The�tightest�little�slits.

As�he�was�losing�consciousness I�began�jerking�him

to�keep�him�up.

Two�hands�at�one�point.

He�had�a�fairly�serious gash�on�his�side,�once.

Clash�with�a�coyote,�no�doubt.

Well,�if�you�fight�one, you�fight�a�bunch�of�'em.

I�was�able�to�patch�him�up,

but�it�took�a�lot�of tender�love�and�care.

Let's�just�say I've�had�my�face�in�gash

for�the�better�part of�three�days.

Face�and�fingers,�once.

I�swiftly�retrieved�my�scissors

and�crafted a�bandage�for�the�gash.

No�one�scissors�like�mine�wife.

Well,�our�daughters scissor�quite�skillfully.

Now,�credit�where�it's�due.

Our�daughters�learned to�scissor�from�their�mother.

Teaching�our�daughters to�scissor

has�been�one�of�the�great�joys of�my�life.

Look�at�me.

I�get�wet�just thinking�about�it.

A�D�for�Dyck.

An�A�for�Anita.

And�Ns�for�Noahs.

And�the�tea�leaves�were in�the�shape�of�a�dick!

Where's�he�now,�Anita?

Is�he�confined?

We�wrapped�him�in�a�blanket

and�laid�him�by a�fire,�once.

Well-meaning�folks, just�a�wee�bit�redneck.

The�children�have�taken quite�a�fondness�to�Sunshine.

(Gasping) Sunshine?

Yes.�The�name�we've�given�him, if�only�temporarily.

We�thought�of�calling�him Monster�for�the�sickness

living�inside�of�him.

Monster�Dyck.

And�he�was�so�thin when�he�first�arrived

we�thought�of calling�him�Pencil.

Pencil�Dyck.

We�even�considered naming�him�after

Noah's�late�grandmother,

Sarah�Theresa�Dyck.

STD�for�short.

SKIDS:�(whispering)�Discharge, .

But�at�last�we�settled�on--

But�his�name�is--

Sunshine.

You're�not�supposed�to give�dogs�human�names.

We'll�be�sad�to�see�him�go.

I�assume�ye's�are�here to�take�him�back,

return�him�to�his�true�master?

(All�muttering)

Alright,�okay.�Fine. It�looks�like�we�agree!

How�would�youse like�to�keep�him?

Now,�mine�wife, you�know�on�Mennonite�farms

animals�fulfil only�two�functions.

T'work�and�t'eat.

But�Sunshine is�still�healing.

���Sittin'�on�the�edge atop�a�canyon���

Joyful�wife,�joyful�life.

Alright,�then.

(Clapping)

He�can�stay.�We'll�continue to�tend�to�him�day�to�day.

I'm�surprised�that�mine�wife didn't�become�a�doctor,

for�it�would�seem�as�though she�can't�resist�an�open�gash.

My�husband�knew�I�was�many things�when�he�married�me,

but�I�can�assure�you,

a�gash�lover�was not�one�of�them.

It's�true!

(Both�laughing)

(Both�laughing�hysterically)

���...become�afraid and�watch�it�go���

���And�the�day�is�long���

���And�the�bridge is�gone���

���And�the�river's washed�away...���

���The�road�I'm�on���

���Only�road�I�know���

��

���Everybody's�got a�problem���

���Something�to�do with�self-control���

���You�gotta�tell�somebody���

���If�you�got�one���

���You�can't�pretend you�didn't�know���

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