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♪ Terrible Tudors
Gorgeous Georgians Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
2
00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,000
♪ Woeful wars, ferocious fights
Dingy castles, daring knights
3
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,800
♪ Horrors that defy description
Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
4
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,200
♪ Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes
Punishment from ancient times
5
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:15,040
♪ Romans rotten, rank and ruthless
Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless
6
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:18,040
♪ Groovy Greek, brainy sages
Mean and measly Middle Ages
7
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,760
♪ Gory stories, we do that
8
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,280
♪ And your host, a talking rat
9
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,240
♪ The past is no longer a mystery
10
00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:27,520
♪ Welcome to...
11
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:31,480
♪ Horrible Histories. ♪
12
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,280
Horrible Histories presents...
13
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,520
BBC Radio Number Two.
14
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:40,600
FART NOISE
15
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,600
Ain't nothing newer than songs
from the sewer.
16
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,280
Hello and welcome to
BBC Radio Number Two,
17
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:48,920
the nonstop historical
song-playing radio show.
18
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:51,320
Today, I've got a very special
guest with me in the studio,
19
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,440
so let's have a big hello
to Holly H.
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APPLAUSE
Hi, Rattus.
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00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,160
I kind of wish you'd told me
we were going to be in a sewer.
22
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,320
I would have worn
someone else's clothes.
23
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:04,480
And, uh, why are there so many
chocolate bars floating past?
24
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,680
Yeah, they're, uh...they're
not chocolate bars.
25
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,880
They're... Well, never mind. Um...
26
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,720
Who are your favourite Tudors?
27
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,760
I would have to say Elizabeth I,
28
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,240
or maybe Mary Queen of Scots.
29
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,200
Mary Tudor. Oh, I don't know.
30
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,800
Well, that's no problem, Holly,
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00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,400
because they're all
in our first song.
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00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,920
It's the original girl power band.
33
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:27,080
Step aside, Little Mix,
these are the real queens of pop.
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00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,480
It's the Tudor Queens!
35
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,440
MUSIC: TO THE TUNE OF POWER
# Listen up, you all better bow down
36
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,320
♪ Cos I'm the Queen
and I'm wearing the crown
37
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:44,800
♪ Totally messing
with the patriarchy
38
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,640
♪ My rule will go down in history
39
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:52,040
♪ I don't care about primogeniture
40
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:57,240
♪ I'm in charge and I'm
turning it around for su-u-ure
41
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,120
♪ I got, I got
42
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,440
♪ I got the power
43
00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,840
♪ This is my time and
this is my hour
44
00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,920
♪ I'm a Tudor woman and I'm on top
45
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,960
♪ Get in my way, baby
46
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,320
♪ You're for the cho-o-op
47
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:14,880
♪ Think you'll find
I was the first Tudor Queen
48
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,920
♪ And I wanted it to be
a Protestant scene
49
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,360
♪ You know me as Lady Jane Grey
50
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,280
♪ And I only ruled
for a paltry nine days
51
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,960
♪ I succeeded you,
people knew I was legit
52
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,640
♪ I wanted the throne
and - hail Mary - I got it
53
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:31,400
♪ For the next five years
there was a Catholic at the wheel
54
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,960
♪ But it's hard to keep
the country on an even keel
55
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,320
♪ When people rebelled
56
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,080
♪ Well, I took a stand
57
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:44,160
♪ Started burning Protestants
all across the la-a-and
58
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:46,840
♪ I got, I got
59
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,360
♪ I got the power
60
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,160
♪ This is our time
and this is our hour
61
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,680
♪ I am a Tudor woman
Make no mistake
62
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:55,360
♪ Get in my way and
63
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:59,120
♪ You'll burn at the sta-a-ake
64
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,560
FRENCH ACCENT: # I'm Catholic Mary
65
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:01,760
♪ Was involved in many plots
66
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,200
♪ To be Mary Queen of England
67
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,000
SCOTTISH ACCENT:
# As well as Queen of Scots
68
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,320
♪ For 45 years, I hung onto my crown
69
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,240
♪ By finding ways of you
not being around
70
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,120
♪ Locked you up
71
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:15,520
♪ That was the first solution
72
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:20,240
♪ But Catholic plots meant
I went for execu-ution
73
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:21,480
♪ Hold up
74
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:23,760
♪ I was just a kid
but I got power, too
75
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,640
♪ Cos I'm Henry VIII's son
and that was my due
76
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,080
♪ But ruling when you're young
It ain't a lot of fun
77
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,480
♪ Not as easy as it looks
78
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,000
♪ Yeah, being number one
79
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,880
♪ So I'm telling you
my step sisters
80
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,200
♪ They deserve respect
81
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,800
♪ Mary brought the Navy back
and reduced the debt
82
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,280
♪ Liz defeated the Armada
83
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,640
♪ Now do you get it?
84
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,040
♪ When she left the throne
85
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,560
♪ England was in credit
86
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,160
♪ We got, we got
We got the power
87
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,880
♪ That was our time and
that was our hour
88
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,840
♪ We were Tudor women
We reigned supreme
89
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,360
♪ Bossing it, baby
90
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:56,080
♪ We were the Queens. ♪
91
00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:57,600
For a short time.
92
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,280
Greetings, I am Queen Elizabeth I,
93
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,040
and this is my mega brainy
astrologer,
94
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,360
Dr John Dee,
who is some sort of wizard?
95
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:12,000
Well, I dabble. Yes. Hmm.
96
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,720
Dee said he could study the movement
of the stars and planets
97
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,120
to help ensure my reign was
successful.
98
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,800
So what was the first job
I give him?
99
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,400
Was it...?
100
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,160
And the answer is...
101
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,320
A.
102
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,640
I used astrology to
predict the luckiest day
103
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,680
for your coronation, Your Majesty.
Mm.
104
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,120
You did.
105
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,920
Seeing as you're here, what do the
stars say I should have for lunch?
106
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,160
Oh, celestial divination
is much too serious
107
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:51,120
for something so minor
as your lunch, Your Majesty.
108
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,680
Ooh! Oh, really?
109
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,120
Then what do they say
about you being executed?
110
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,880
Fish, probably have fish,
I think. OK. Yeah.
111
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,000
OK, Holly, it's time now
for the quickfire quiz.
112
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,040
♪ It's the quickfire quiz. ♪
113
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:07,080
It's the speed round,
so name your favourite animal.
114
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,240
A penguin.
115
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,240
That starts with the letter R.
A reindeer.
116
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,560
And it rhymes with hat.
117
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,880
A red cat. Cat?!
118
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,120
A rat. Is it a rat?
119
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,200
So rat is your favourite animal?
120
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,040
Oh, I'm flattered!
121
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,440
You're just saying that.
122
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,760
I am just saying that.
You just made me say that.
123
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,920
But you really shouldn't
have favourites, you know,
124
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,600
because so many animals have
helped humans throughout the ages,
125
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:31,240
as this next song shows.
126
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:34,280
OK, so what have rats ever done
for people? Yeah, shush, now.
127
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,640
MUSIC: TO THE TUNE OF
YOU'RE WELCOME
128
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,120
OK, hey, animals.
129
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,840
♪ It's thanks to you
we ended up here
130
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:45,360
♪ The wolf joined our pack
and things started to change
131
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,600
♪ Fur for warmth, meat to eat
132
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,040
♪ Family safe
133
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,160
♪ So helpful!
134
00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,720
♪ How did we cope
before this exchange?
135
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:56,240
♪ Homes were built
and crops matured
136
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,680
♪ We kept warm and cooked food
thanks to manure
137
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,840
♪ Milk and cheese, yoghurt, too
138
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,000
♪ Leather shoes
139
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,000
♪ So thank you for
that wonderful poo
140
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,720
♪ What can we say except
we're so grateful
141
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,840
♪ For the poo and the food
and the fur
142
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:17,880
♪ What can we say except
we're so thankful
143
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,760
♪ For the woofs, moos,
neighs and the purrs
144
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,280
♪ Who protects us?
145
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,360
♪ Keeps mice off the rye?
146
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,920
♪ Dogs and cats prowling by
147
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,880
♪ Yeah, those guys
148
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,160
♪ When we need warmth and love
149
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:32,480
♪ A friend who'll always be there
150
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,160
♪ That's what my cat does
151
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,480
CAT YOWLS
Ouch!
152
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,560
♪ Also, you make a house a home
153
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,000
♪ We're grateful
154
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,560
♪ I make the spoon out of your bone
155
00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,240
♪ Pigs and sheep
156
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,640
♪ Hens and goats
157
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:46,960
♪ Joined the crew
158
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,800
♪ We couldn't live like this
without you
159
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,320
♪ What can we say except
we're so grateful
160
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,440
♪ For how you've helped humanity
161
00:06:56,440 --> 00:07:00,560
♪ I hope it's OK
if I say we're thankful
162
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,320
♪ From the whale to the tiniest bee
163
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:05,960
♪ We're grateful
164
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:09,160
♪ We're gratefu-ul
165
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:10,480
♪ Well, when you think of it
166
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:11,960
♪ It's no wonder we worshipped you
167
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,920
♪ Look at the wins you've
helped us humans do
168
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,400
♪ Your fur, your skin, your wool
169
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,240
♪ Stopped our bodies
from getting too cool
170
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:18,760
♪ We tamed the donkey, tamed the ox
171
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,720
♪ Now we can move food
on these magical rocks
172
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,600
♪ We bred the horses
for speed and gallantry
173
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,520
♪ Now when there's war
We can call in the cavalry
174
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,040
♪ In lands where we couldn't survive
175
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:27,680
♪ Domestication helped us to thrive
176
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,760
♪ Look where we are now
Thanks to pig, horse and cow
177
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:32,200
♪ You keep me alive
Let me give you five!
178
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:36,320
♪ What can we say except
we're so grateful
179
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:39,280
♪ For the help and
the food in my pot
180
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:43,160
♪ It's even OK you gave us influenza
181
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:46,600
♪ Not so keen on
measles and smallpox
182
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,600
♪ But we're thankful
183
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:52,560
♪ We're thankful. ♪
184
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:53,680
BIRD COOS
185
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,040
Was that a coo?
186
00:07:56,840 --> 00:08:00,200
OK, it's time for
some of your messages!
187
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:04,040
I got a text.
Oh, it's from Mum. Next!
188
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:08,240
So, this first text is from
Holly in Poo Town and it says,
189
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,200
"Help, I'm stuck in a sewer
with a massive rat,
190
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,040
"please get me out of here!
191
00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,880
"It smells really bad..."
Hang on a minute!
192
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:19,600
I'm really sorry.
I thought I sent that to my agent.
193
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,160
Awkward!
194
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,040
Well, SOME people like sewers.
195
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,920
In fact, this next fan has
actually written us a poem!
196
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,360
If you please, Holly.
OK, here goes.
197
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,840
"Holly is great,
she can get a whoop whoop
198
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,040
"Rattus...
199
00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,320
"..is rubbish
200
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:35,960
"He smells like a poop poop."
201
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,600
Ah, well, actually,
that's a compliment!
202
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,400
And I love poetry, so,
before we play a song all about it,
203
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,520
here's one of mine!
204
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,480
A rat was out for a run
205
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,000
when he went and
tripped over his mum.
206
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,240
She was carrying a stick
and he felt quite sick
207
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,760
when the stick went right up his...
208
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,520
OK, it's time for the next song!
209
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:01,400
♪ Yeah
210
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,560
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
211
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:09,360
♪ I wandered lonely as a cloud
212
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,560
♪ That floats on high
o'er vales and hills
213
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:15,360
♪ When all at once I saw a crowd
214
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,880
♪ Yeah
215
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,360
♪ Wordsworth, though
I rate your nature hot take
216
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,080
♪ Go riff on a cliff
or go jump in a lake
217
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,520
♪ You may be inspired
by your environ
218
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,760
♪ But I write about me
219
00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:27,240
♪ The scandalous Byron
220
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,440
♪ My name is Keats
I got all the right beats
221
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:32,000
♪ Like Wordsworth
I love them nightingale tweets
222
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,760
♪ I'm not as posh as them
and that's a big concern
223
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,280
♪ But I wrote an ode
to a Grecian urn
224
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:40,320
♪ Beauty is truth
and truth is beauty
225
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:41,560
♪ You're just a Cockney oik
226
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:42,880
♪ No need to be snooty
227
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,520
♪ Nature is a crazy mama
228
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,000
♪ The key to life in all its drama
229
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,520
♪ Romantics love to get the feels
230
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:51,720
♪ We imagine big
231
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,080
♪ We don't keep it real
232
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,800
♪ Yeah, yeah
233
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,160
♪ You're an awful writer
234
00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:58,400
♪ Your epic tales are lame
235
00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,560
♪ They're all about your ego
236
00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:01,120
♪ You're just jealous of my fame
237
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,920
♪ You don't have to struggle
There's no fire in your belly
238
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,320
♪ I leave that stuff
to Percy Bysshe Shelley
239
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:07,600
♪ Let's change the world!
240
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,200
♪ Our poetry sings
241
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,640
♪ Of dangerous power
of queens and kings
242
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,040
♪ Men must assert
their rights to grow
243
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,480
♪ But don't forget the ladies
244
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:16,880
♪ Hello
245
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,320
♪ Romantics love to get the feels
246
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,640
♪ We imagine big
247
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:21,920
♪ We don't keep it reals
248
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,160
♪ I died ignored
249
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:24,560
♪ They were gigantic
250
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,200
♪ Now, how about we hear
from a New Romantic
251
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,800
♪ My story will blow you away
252
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,520
♪ I'm Mary Shelley
and here's what I say
253
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,880
♪ On a holiday in Lake Geneva
254
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,560
♪ We got a bad storytelling fever
255
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:40,160
♪ Talk late at night
of tales that affect us
256
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,800
♪ Frightening fables
of ghosts and spectres
257
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,240
♪ One terrifying story of mine
258
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,040
♪ Inspired me to write Frankenstein
259
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,440
♪ That scary monster
is your claim to fame
260
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,320
Yeah, and people still think
Frankenstein was the monster's name.
261
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,760
♪ Romantics love to get the feels
262
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,040
♪ We imagine big
263
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,600
♪ We don't keep it real
264
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,920
♪ I was like a rock star, a hero
265
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,280
♪ We had fame too
266
00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:03,760
♪ But Keats got zero
267
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:06,080
♪ 25, I died of TB
268
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,720
♪ I was 29 when I drowned at sea
269
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,480
♪ I lived to 36
but that was it for me
270
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,440
♪ And I was dead by 53
271
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,560
♪ Unlike them
I was late and great-y
272
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:19,440
♪ Lived to the ripe old age of 80
273
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,840
♪ Life is short
and cruel and frantic
274
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,320
♪ Nature lives on. ♪
275
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,080
ALL: That's so Romantic.
276
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,240
Greetings.
277
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:33,880
'Tis I, Lord Byron, Romantic poet
and all-round fashion icon.
278
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,440
I was one of the most famous people
of the 19th century,
279
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,640
and my fashion sense
was off the hook.
280
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:42,360
But what was my most
famous accessory?
281
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,240
Was it...?
282
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,800
And the answer is B.
283
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:01,240
My most famous accessory was
a mug made from a human skull.
284
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:06,240
When my best friend Percy Shelley
was cremated, I even asked
285
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:09,240
if I could keep his skull,
but was refused!
286
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,680
I wonder why? Oh, well. Cheers.
287
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,160
RATTUS SOBS
288
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:17,840
Oh, Rattus, you're crying!
289
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,480
You must really love
those Romantic poets.
290
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,760
No, I just sat on a rotten onion.
291
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:26,200
You can still eat it, if you
don't mind wiping the bum fur off.
292
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,880
That's literally the most
disgusting thing I've ever seen.
293
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,800
That's OK. More for me!
294
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,920
Can we just go to the next song
really quickly?
295
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,320
Cos I think I might be sick.
296
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,760
Mm, well, no problem.
297
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:39,760
It's time for a
political party mix anthem!
298
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,800
♪ Political, me lads! ♪
299
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,840
Politics is cool.
300
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,600
Really? No, not really.
301
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,280
But this song is. Yeah.
302
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,800
Did you know that Queen Victoria
303
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,760
reigned over Great Britain
and Ireland for 63 years
304
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:57,040
and she had ten different
prime ministers during her reign?
305
00:12:57,040 --> 00:13:00,280
Hit it, and turn it up
to number ten!
306
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:07,240
MUSIC: TO THE TUNE OF MAMBO No. 5
# One, two, three, four, ten
307
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:10,040
♪ I can count them up to five,
then count five again
308
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,640
♪ Prime ministers,
Tory, Liberal and Whig
309
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,800
♪ They try to tell one what to do
but one doesn't give a fig
310
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,160
♪ A little bit
of Melbourne in my life
311
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:26,120
♪ A little bit of Peel by my side
312
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,840
♪ A little bit of Russell
That was all I need
313
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,640
♪ A little bit of Derby
Who was he?
314
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,240
♪ A little bit of Aberdeen
Please don't go
315
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:37,080
♪ A little bit of Palmerston
Oh, dear, no
316
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,840
♪ A little bit of Derby
Seriously, who?
317
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:43,480
♪ What? More Palmerston?
No, thanks - boo!
318
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,760
♪ One, two, three, four, ten
319
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,440
♪ I can count them up to five,
then count five again
320
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:51,640
♪ I liked Melbourne, Disraeli,
Aberdeen, Peel
321
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,560
♪ But I didn't like Palmerston
That's just how I feel
322
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,600
♪ Mambo Number Ten
323
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,360
♪ There was some from the left
324
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,080
♪ There were some from the right
325
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,800
♪ If we are not amused
326
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,600
♪ They're not doing it right!
327
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:13,480
♪ For a time
Lord Russell reappeared
328
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,240
♪ Then someone called Derby
Still no idea
329
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,920
♪ Then Benjamin Disraeli
But not for long
330
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:21,760
♪ Then Gladstone
Ugh, glad when he was gone!
331
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,040
♪ Disraeli for encore
332
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,600
♪ Then more Gladstone, what a bore!
333
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,520
♪ A little bit of Salisbury
Please, don't go!
334
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:32,360
♪ Then more Gladstone
Seriously, no!
335
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,440
♪ Salisbury
Yes, my son!
336
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,680
♪ Gladstone
Please, kill one
337
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:41,360
♪ The Earl of Rosebery for a bit
338
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:44,080
♪ Then more Salisbury
And that's it. ♪
339
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:49,840
Queen Victoria there,
and now a word from our sponsors.
340
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,240
Need someone to clean your fridge?
341
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:53,920
Hire a rat today.
342
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:57,000
Rattus, because your fridge stinks.
343
00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,000
Are you meant to be doing adverts
like this in the middle of a show?
344
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,000
Uh, no, probably not, but just think
of all the malty snacks
345
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,160
I could bring back to the sewer
if this takes off.
346
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,400
TOILET FLUSHES
347
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,240
Oh, I'd be more popular
with the other rats
348
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,120
than the American GI soldiers were
during World War II
349
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,720
when they turned up in Britain
350
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:16,240
with all sorts of things
no-one had seen for years.
351
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,760
That's all the bacon they've
given me for the whole week.
352
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:20,200
How do you think I feel?
353
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,560
This is all the butter
they'd given me for the whole week.
354
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:25,200
I couldn't spread that
over a slice of bread.
355
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,400
Wartime rationing is
doing my head in.
356
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,360
I just want a big hunk of meat.
357
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:34,200
I know what you mean. I've jar of
jam for a month - I need a six-pack!
358
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,800
It looks like
your wish has come true, Betty.
359
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:41,440
It's... It's American soldiers!
360
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,560
A delivery of beefcake.
361
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,200
MUSIC: TO THE TUNE OF LEGEND HAS IT
# Yo, yo, GIs in the village
362
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,400
♪ What up? ♪
363
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:53,680
ALL: What?
364
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,320
♪ Yo, here we is
Just flew over the Atlantic
365
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,440
♪ So fit and healthy,
we look gigantic
366
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,320
♪ Also paid more
than your British soldiers
367
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,720
♪ Though we might have made up
those stories we told you... ♪
368
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,640
Yeah, baby doll,
I'm the genuine king of Brooklyn.
369
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,480
I know he isn't but he's got
the first chocolate
370
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,120
we've seen in three years!
371
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,360
♪ You can stop painting your legs
with that gravy
372
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,160
♪ And drawing a line
that is going all wavy
373
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:16,440
♪ Cos we got the real deal
We bring nylons
374
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,920
♪ Form an orderly queue,
we don't want a pile on... ♪
375
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,680
RIPPING
Whoa!
376
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,600
You're only meant to take
the tights!
377
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,240
Ooh, I can make some clothes
out of this!
378
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,560
♪ Our food's so good,
you'll be stealing our scraps
379
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,960
♪ It's why we're much fitter
than your British chaps
380
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:31,800
♪ Speaking of which,
I see they're not here
381
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,920
♪ Did we mention we've got
our own teeth, my dear?
382
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,920
♪ We're young, free,
handsome and rich
383
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,920
♪ We also have clothes
that don't make you itch
384
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,360
♪ The only thing we just don't know
385
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,400
♪ Is why you drive
on the wrong side of the road...♪
386
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,160
HORN HONKS
TYRES SCREECH
387
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:44,920
Seriously,
we've had loads of crashes.
388
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,880
We're used to driving
on the other side.
389
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,800
♪ We've got chewing gum,
soda and candy
390
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,920
♪ Also music that's big swing bandy
391
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,640
♪ We'll be partying every weekend
392
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,640
♪ If you can't make the dates,
I'll just ask your friend... ♪
393
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,760
And we was worried
about the Germans invading.
394
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:03,520
♪ G
I... ♪
395
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,600
Do you think they do this
all the time?
396
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,840
You like what you see?
397
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,720
You know what?
It's mostly about the chocolate.
398
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,000
TOILET FLUSHES
399
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:20,320
A song there about Americans
and nylons and chocolate.
400
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,800
Rattus, why are
we dressed like this?
401
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,440
Well, I thought we'd get in the mood
for the next song
402
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,080
which is about Puritan dating.
403
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,040
I'm sorry about the hat, by the way.
404
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,520
I just ordered two in a rat medium
405
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,840
and I think you might be a large.
406
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:37,840
Charming. Do you not think
I look silly in this?
407
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,240
TOILET FLUSHES
Mm.
408
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,280
So, Puritan dating meant you were
only supposed to talk to each other
409
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:46,480
via a courting tube like the one
that you'll find by your feet.
410
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,840
Why don't you give it a try, Holly?
411
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,080
RATS SQUEAK AND SCAMPER
412
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,680
TOILET FLUSHES
413
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:57,360
RATTUS, I LOVE YOU!
414
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,240
Yep, seems to work.
415
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:09,000
Stop that! Get inside so you can
flirt in the proper Puritan manner.
416
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,960
MUSIC: TO THE TUNE OF CALL ME MAYBE
417
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,120
♪ Your parents don't think I'm bad
418
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:17,200
♪ You've been polite to my dad
419
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,080
♪ If we go too fast, they'll be sad
420
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,120
♪ We must court in the right way
421
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:23,040
♪ All of our parents approve
422
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,000
♪ So time to make your first move
423
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,920
♪ Via a shiny brass tube
424
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,040
♪ And keep it in our way
425
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,960
♪ Our lives, they are changing
426
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,040
♪ Our marriage, they're arranging
427
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,160
♪ Your hormones might be raging
428
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,160
♪ But there's no touching, baby
429
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,640
♪ Hey, I just met you
430
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,600
♪ And this is crazy
431
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,360
♪ But here's my call tube
432
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,400
♪ So court me maybe
433
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,720
♪ I'm not allowed to
434
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,680
♪ Touch you, baby
435
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,560
♪ But here's my call tube
436
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,120
♪ So court me maybe
437
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,000
♪ My parents think you're a catch
438
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,160
♪ Yours think
we'll make a good match
439
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,160
♪ I think you're an itch
I could scratch
440
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,120
♪ But something's in our way
441
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:07,120
♪ And as we talk more and more
442
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,080
♪ I think it's you I adore
443
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:13,160
♪ But this bundling board
has been put in our way
444
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,160
♪ This is to see if I can
445
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,240
♪ Sleep next to a real man
446
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,120
♪ In a way that's Puritan
447
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,360
♪ You can still use the trumpet,
baby
448
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:23,520
♪ Getting to know you
449
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,440
♪ And this is crazy
450
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,520
♪ But here's my call tube
451
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,240
♪ So court me maybe
452
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,480
♪ We are together
453
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,680
♪ But separated
454
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:35,600
♪ Love regulated
455
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,280
♪ Keeps parents happy
456
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,240
♪ We are romancing
457
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,400
♪ Puritanically
458
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,240
♪ I think I like you
459
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,280
♪ Let's get married maybe
460
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,360
♪ We can get together
461
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,680
♪ And have a baby
462
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,720
♪ Won't need my call tube
463
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,680
♪ When I'm your lady. ♪
464
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,880
The oppressive sound
of Puritan dating there.
465
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,240
So, Holly,
what do you think about boy bands?
466
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,840
Um, there's a lot of them.
Yeah, there is.
467
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,880
You must've heard
of One Di-rat-tion.
468
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,560
Um... No.
469
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,800
Oh, there's a photo around here
somewhere
470
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,440
that might help jog your memory.
471
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,800
No. Come on!
We were big stars back in the day.
472
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,400
You must remember our singles -
We Built This Squity,
473
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,560
Look What You Made Me Doo-Doo,
474
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,320
Shape Of Poo.
475
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,840
And these rose to the top
of the charts?
476
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,520
They were certainly floaters.
477
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,400
Sorry, I've never heard of you.
478
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,280
Well, in that case,
there's zero chance
479
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,160
you'll have heard of this next band,
The Founding Fathers.
480
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,040
Oh, my goodness,
I love Ben Franklin!
481
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,480
He is like the cutest guy EVER!
482
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,320
And that whole USA thing they did -
that was so cool.
483
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,320
Unbelievable.
484
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,880
♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa
485
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,920
♪ F-f-f-founding fathers
486
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,640
♪ My ancestors left England
487
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,520
♪ Life there they could not stand
488
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,400
♪ Our gramps and grans left too
489
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:08,840
♪ For a new life in a new land
490
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,800
♪ The Franklin clan held on
491
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:14,520
♪ Till Dad said,
"Franklin, time to go"
492
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,680
♪ At 17 I set sail
493
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:20,200
♪ To where revolution was
starting to grow
494
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,160
♪ Us colonists were rising up
495
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:23,640
♪ No longer Brits, we'd had enough
496
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:25,160
♪ No tax without representation
497
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,600
♪ Time to rise with our own nation
498
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,960
♪ We led the revolution
499
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,200
♪ Dump Britain, the solution
500
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:35,120
♪ Older, wiser, stronger, smarter
501
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:38,040
♪ Each of us a founding father
502
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,760
♪ I wrote the bill of independence
503
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,280
♪ I led troops to win
through defence
504
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:42,840
♪ I did news
Army admin
505
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,320
♪ Together, we're founding dads
506
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,400
♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa
507
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,680
♪ F-f-f-founding fathers
508
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,240
♪ We each brought different talents
509
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,520
♪ To the running of the state
510
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,320
♪ I wrote the law
511
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:58,720
♪ I won the war
512
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,040
♪ And I was simply great
513
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:04,000
♪ I came up with the swivel chair
514
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,840
♪ Think you're a clever bot?
515
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:13,080
♪ I built a stove, invented bifocals
and the lightning rod
516
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,920
♪ Making stuff, a skill I lack
I guess I'll raise a load of tax
517
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,960
♪ I'll win their trust
# I'll write down facts
518
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,520
♪ Unite the states!
I play my axe!
519
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,720
♪ Start a revolution
520
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,560
♪ With a proper constitution
521
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,880
♪ You tried hard, we'll try harder
522
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,760
♪ Each of us a founding father
523
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:32,480
♪ True, we may be your ascendant
524
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:33,800
♪ Now that we are independent
525
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,360
♪ Do more trade
We'll grow crops
526
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,280
♪ Come on, guys,
we're the founding pops
527
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,240
♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa
528
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:42,480
♪ F-f-f-founding fathers
529
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,440
♪ We disagreed on loads
but on one thing we all chime
530
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,560
♪ We've got to make America great
for the first time
531
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,000
♪ Started with revolution
532
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:54,200
♪ American evolution
533
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,000
♪ Seeing off the English baddies
534
00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,080
♪ Yes, we are the founding daddies
535
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,920
♪ Not bad for a group of lads
536
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:04,640
♪ Welcome to the founding dads
Got no time for father-haters
537
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,640
♪ All praise to the founding paters
538
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:08,360
♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa
539
00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:11,200
♪ F-f-f-founding fathers
540
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,720
♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa
541
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:16,920
♪ F-f-f-founding fathers. ♪
542
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,560
Good day, I'm Thomas Jefferson,
543
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:27,040
and welcome to the outdoor toilet
in my local pub,
544
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,320
The Michie Tavern.
545
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:32,440
Now, what do you think
this rope was used for?
546
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,880
Was it...?
547
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,360
The answer is, of course, C.
548
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,920
The landlord put it here
549
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,800
because people kept falling
bum-first into the big pooing hole.
550
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:59,160
Now, obviously, I'm one of
the smartest men in all of America
551
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,400
so I'm not going to fall bum-first
into any...
552
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,640
SQUELCH!
Oh!
553
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:04,800
Oh, my!
554
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,840
Oh, it's like
sticky, stinky molasses.
555
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,000
Ugh!
556
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,320
I'm stuck.
557
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:14,680
Help! Help!
558
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:18,800
Monumental track there
from The Founding Fathers.
559
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:22,360
Sadly now, though,
we have to say goodbye to Holly H.
560
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,080
Thanks for having me, Rattus.
It's been...
561
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,800
..smelly but fun. Mm.
562
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,520
Before you go,
I've got an idea for a movie.
563
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,360
I'd like to run it past you,
if that's OK.
564
00:24:33,360 --> 00:24:35,440
TOILET FLUSHES
Do I have a choice? Mm.
565
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:40,440
BOOMING VOICE: In a dangerous world,
only one rat can save the day -
566
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:44,800
Spider Rat
in The Sca-vengers U-Bend Game.
567
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,960
Um, I think that's been done before.
568
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,800
OK, then. Um...
569
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:52,800
Star Rats, The Rise Of Sewer Walker.
570
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,960
Yep, that's been done too.
571
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,400
Turd Story 7?
572
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,320
Rattus, if you want to make a film,
573
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,920
you're going to have to come up
with something original!
574
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,680
Should have made a film
in Victorian times,
575
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,040
everything was original then
576
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,200
because they were making
the very first films.
577
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,840
TOILET FLUSHES
Oh, really? Yeah!
578
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,360
But don't take my word for it,
579
00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:13,080
this guy can tell you
all about the greatest show.
580
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,280
MUSIC: TO THE TUNE OF
THE GREATEST SHOW
581
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,880
♪ It started with smoke and mirrors
and what the butler saw
582
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,520
♪ Oh-oh-oh
583
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:26,080
♪ We had photos
but we wanted something more
584
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,480
♪ Oh-oh-oh
585
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,840
♪ So Dickson and Edison made
something we can't ignore
586
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,600
♪ Pictures that moved
They blew our brains
587
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:38,120
♪ As we sat there facing
an oncoming train
588
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:41,160
♪ At first the films were short
and shot outside
589
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,160
♪ People pulling faces,
drinking milk and travel guides
590
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:47,040
♪ As the movies grew
to many minutes long
591
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:50,360
♪ They needed something new
to show the throng
592
00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:53,480
♪ So they crashed a rocket
in the moon and filmed King John
593
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,680
♪ Drew some pictures, made them move
and called it animation
594
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,600
♪ Movie stars got famous
Charlie Chaplain, Buster Keaton
595
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:04,000
♪ They're just the start
of our favourite thing
596
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,760
♪ We don't even mind the queue
597
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,720
♪ On screen our dreams come true
598
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,200
-♪ In 3
-D and sometimes 2
599
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,800
♪ The movie picture show!
600
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,720
♪ You can use your phone to view
601
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,800
♪ And use it to make films too
602
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:25,240
♪ Be a Minion or maybe Gru
603
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:29,320
♪ The moving picture show!
Oh-oh-oh
604
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:33,040
♪ They blew our minds
when the first actor spoke
605
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,560
♪ Oh-oh-oh
606
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:38,560
♪ Adding colour changed everything
at a stroke
607
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:40,560
♪ Oh-oh-oh
608
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,680
♪ Crash zoom, widescreen
and the records broke
609
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,600
♪ Special effects, science fiction
610
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:50,880
♪ Now at home on your television
611
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:54,040
♪ Star Wars
and Ghostbusters were gigantic
612
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,840
♪ But nothing ever
really topped Titanic
613
00:26:56,840 --> 00:27:00,040
♪ Yeah, OK, Avatar
Don't be pedantic
614
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,720
♪ But now things are
really getting frantic
615
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,720
♪ High definition, downloads
and motion capture
616
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,640
♪ Crowdfunding
Now YouTube is coming at you
617
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,600
♪ Star Wars is back
and we are in rapture
618
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,520
♪ Where will it end?
619
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,040
♪ We hope it never ends
620
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,800
♪ We don't even mind the queue
621
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,760
♪ On screen, our dreams come true
622
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:25,360
-♪ In 3
-D and sometimes 2
623
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:27,960
♪ The moving picture show!
624
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,640
♪ You can use your phone to view
625
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,880
♪ And use it to make films too
626
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:37,160
♪ Be a Minion or maybe Gru
627
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,240
♪ The moving picture show!
628
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,680
♪ Oh-oh-oh. ♪
629
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,920
♪ Tall tales, atrocious acts
We gave you all the fearsome facts
630
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,720
♪ The ugly truth, no glam or glitz
We showed you all the juicy bits
631
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,280
♪ Gory, ghastly, mean and cruel
632
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:57,160
♪ Stuff they don't teach you
at school
633
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,840
♪ The past is no longer a mystery
634
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:05,000
♪ Hope you enjoyed
Horrible Histories. ♪
635
00:28:05,050 --> 00:28:09,600
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