All language subtitles for Ghosts.S02E05.1080p.iP.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-NTb_Subtitles01.ENG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:07,880 I had no idea so much went into a wedding. 2 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,680 Speaking as your wife, that was clear. 3 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,000 Hmm. CAPTAIN: Five boxes... 4 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,040 ..six, seven, eight...in here. 5 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,200 And ten in the lobby. Excellent. 6 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:20,760 Right. Lift from the knees! Trust me, you don't want a hernia. 7 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:22,400 Head! What? 8 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:23,680 ...chog. 9 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:24,960 Hedgehog. Sorry. 10 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,600 I thought I saw a hedgehog. Where? 11 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,480 Did you? Mm-mm. 12 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:29,720 No. Ah. 13 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,240 Chase it out with a broom. They'll leave fleas in the rug! 14 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:36,040 Now, the other bit. I have you down for night lookout this evening. 15 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:38,960 Again? Can't he do it? I mean... 16 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,920 ..me do it? Hardly. 17 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:45,000 There's a lot of valuable ordnance on base, and, while your counterpart here 18 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,320 is very dextrous, observation is not his strong suit. 19 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,520 OK. Fine. Pick me up at six. Literally. 20 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:52,960 HUMPHREY CHUCKLES Very good. 21 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,760 Oh, no, no, no! I know you're on a budget, 22 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,720 but where are the oyster forks? 23 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,680 They're not having oysters. What?! 24 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,560 How much? To hire knives and forks?! 25 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:05,920 It's wedding silver, Mike. It's got to be top quality. 26 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:07,360 Don't try to bend them! 27 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,120 That's just what I heard. No, don't be daft. 28 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,760 Course it ain't haunted. 29 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,000 Just act natural. 30 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,720 If anyone asks, we're couriers who got lost in the grounds 31 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,840 while looking for a toilet, cos you needed to go urgently 32 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:49,120 due to a recent operation to remove a small section of bowel. 33 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,920 That's a lot of detail, Vin. 34 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,440 That's what makes it believable. 35 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:55,120 Now, Pete says this place has been getting deliveries all week 36 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:56,320 for some big wedding bash. 37 00:01:56,320 --> 00:02:00,840 Silverware, furniture, PA system - all quality stuff. 38 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:02,880 So, what's the plan? 39 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,640 So we case the joint, find a way in... Uh-huh. 40 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,720 ..then come back when they're asleep... 41 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,360 ..and nick it. 42 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:17,600 ♪ I'll make love to you 43 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,560 ♪ If you want me to 44 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,560 ♪ And I'll hold you tight 45 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:25,560 ♪ Baby, all through the night... ♪ 46 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,040 I don't want him to! 47 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,280 ♪ I'll make... # OK! 48 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:31,720 Great. They're doing Music Club... Well, they're busy. 49 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,000 They won't even know I'm out. 50 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,280 You haven't told them? 51 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,240 It would just become some whole big thing 52 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,960 and it's better if I just sneak out. 53 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,480 They won't bother you. Hmm. 54 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,400 You've been on your own with them before. 55 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,920 Yeah, not at night, with the house all dark and creepy 56 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,160 and them all dead and weird. 57 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,960 You still can come with us, you know? 58 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,640 Nah. You go. 59 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:51,840 They're your friends, really. I'll be fine, 60 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,360 with the...dead people. 61 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:01,480 Thanks for waiting. No problem. 62 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:07,240 This is perfect. They're going out. 63 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,200 Come on, now's our chance. 64 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,920 But I've still got the thighs. 65 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,320 God, you eat slowly. 66 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,400 Well, I have got that bowel thing. 67 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:20,800 No, you haven't. 68 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:24,480 Oh, yeah. 69 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:29,720 Yeah, no, that's cool. 70 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,520 No, no, no. No reason. I just thought, 71 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,280 if you wanted to pop round, play a bit of Xbox or something, 72 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,440 but it's fine - another time. Yep. 73 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:38,800 All right, say hello to... 74 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,440 BEEP Hello? 75 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,200 Ah! HE SIGHS 76 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:47,640 Coming up tonight in The Love Nest... 77 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,200 I like ya and I love ya, but I don't like ya - know what I mean? 78 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,520 Yeah. I mean, no. 79 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,640 I just don't think you've shown me the real you. 80 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:55,840 I have. You touched it. 81 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,320 That's not what I mean. I just think you're a bit... 82 00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,360 TV OFF 83 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:04,120 Right. I know you can hear me... 84 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,960 # Amazing Kitty, so... ♪ 85 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:11,880 Now, I'm going to stay in here, OK? 86 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,080 And you stay...anywhere else. 87 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,280 ♪ Hurray for Kitty! ♪ 88 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,400 I don't want any trouble. 89 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,120 I just want to watch my show, 90 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,440 and eat my trifle, and go to sleep... 91 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,520 Not that I will sleep. 92 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,200 Haunted house. On my own. In the middle of nowh... 93 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,120 HE SNORES 94 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:41,040 VAN APPROACHES 95 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:42,840 Oh. 96 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:45,080 Oh, visitors! 97 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,280 Intruders? 98 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:47,880 Intruders. 99 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:49,200 Intruders! 100 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,800 ♪ Rum tuka-tum, rum tuka-tum Rum tuka-tum... ♪ 101 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,280 Snare drum! # Pom pom pom 102 00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:55,640 ♪ Pom-pom pa-rum-pum pa-dum 103 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,120 ♪ Ba ba ba... ♪ 104 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:58,560 Intruders! 105 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,120 ♪ Ba ba ba-dum ba pom pom pom pom... ♪ 106 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,680 Anyone? 107 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,560 ♪ Ba ba ba-dum dum ba-dum 108 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:10,760 ♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba-dum ba ba 109 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:12,320 ♪ Oh, ba, ba 110 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,280 ♪ Rum, rum, rum! ♪ 111 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:17,640 HE SNORES 112 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,800 TO THE TUNE OF IT'S A LONG WAY TO TIPPERARY: # Ba ba ba ba 113 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,400 ♪ Ba-ba-ba ba ba 114 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:22,960 ♪ Ba ba ba ba 115 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,000 ♪ Ba ba... ♪ 116 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,120 Horn section! 117 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,120 ♪ Brum ba-rum bum bum bum... ♪ 118 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,440 Piccolo! # Bum bum ba ba 119 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:34,840 ♪ Bum bum ba ba 120 00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:35,920 ♪ Daddle-addle-ah 121 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,200 ♪ Bum bum ba ba bum bum bum bum 122 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,320 ♪ Baaa-nup 123 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,120 ♪ Ba ba ba doof! 124 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,920 ♪ Ba ba... ♪ 125 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,320 PIANO KEYS CLASH 126 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,000 Sh! 127 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,280 Whatever was that? 128 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:49,600 It's the Coldstream Guards. 129 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,040 No, no. It come from down stair. 130 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,400 Now... 131 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,440 Ah, ah, ah! 132 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,200 Oh! I know what this is! 133 00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,480 A masked ball! 134 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,800 No, no. We had this at the Bramptons'. It's, um... 135 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,480 A burglary! ..insurance fraud. 136 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,560 Oh, yes, I suppose it might actually be a burglary. Yeah. 137 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,640 Good Lord, there's another one. 138 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,040 Well, I can't see no cameras. 139 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,160 Oh, it's you, Nev. 140 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,120 I didn't recognise you. 141 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,880 I was just wearing a hat. 142 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,160 Oh. Right. 143 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,320 Let's see what's worth nicking, shall we? 144 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,120 All right. We have enemy insurgents. 145 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,560 Somebody warn Alison. Tell her to inform the authorities. 146 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:26,640 Where is she? 147 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,400 In bed, I think. I'll go! 148 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,520 In the meantime, we must NOT lose sight of them. 149 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,560 Fanny, keep eyes on the leader. Right. 150 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,000 Kitty, Mary - make a note of anything that they try to steal. 151 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,240 We'll need a full inventory. 152 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,720 Ahem... A list! 153 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:38,760 Oh. 154 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,320 And as for you... 155 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,400 No! Leave this one to me. 156 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,800 I am placing you under a citizen's arrest. 157 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,840 You do not have to say anything, but anything you do say will be taken... 158 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,240 Wurgh! Ohhh! 159 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,120 Cheeky little blighter. 160 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,560 Tray. One tray. 161 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:03,720 Silver tray. 162 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,120 How dare you! 163 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,000 You contemptible, odious... 164 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,720 Candlestick. One candlestick. 165 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,520 No, no, no. Those come as a pair. 166 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:14,880 Forks. Just forks? You need a full canteen. 167 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:18,160 A dinner service requires a full canteen! 168 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:24,560 He's taken nothing. 169 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,680 Still nothing. Yes, thank you, Mary. 170 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:32,760 Young man, you are heading down a dark path. 171 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,120 But it's not too late, you know. 172 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,840 You're yet to commit a serious offence... 173 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,240 HE GASPS Borstal. 174 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,640 You're going to borstal. They're going to eat you alive. 175 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:41,960 Nothing here. 176 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,040 See? 177 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,360 GROANS SHE 178 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,920 HE SNIFFS 179 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,280 Anything? NEV GASPS 180 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,040 Can you smell that? What is that? 181 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,240 HE SNIFFS What? 182 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,000 I'm telling you - this place ain't right. 183 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:59,080 You ain't right. Come on, I think I've found the DJ kit. 184 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,200 Right. DJ kit... 185 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,000 She's not here! Alison! He's alone up there. 186 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,200 Maybe she's left him! 187 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,920 Or gone out? Probably just gone out. 188 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,280 Gentlemen... 189 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:09,760 ..we're on our own. 190 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,280 Right. Box, 'nother box, bigger box. 191 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:20,520 And some worms. 192 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,160 It is a lot to remember. 193 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,760 No, it's only... 194 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,960 What did I just say? 195 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:29,240 Oh! Alison taught me a clever way of remembering things 196 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,760 when I kept forgetting the colours in a rainbow. 197 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:34,640 You make a sentence with the same first letters. 198 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:38,560 So, it's Richard Of York 199 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:41,760 Gave Battle In Vain. 200 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:45,760 So that's red, orange, yellow... 201 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,040 ..grey... 202 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,520 ..blue... Yeah? 203 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,280 ..indigo... 204 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:56,400 ..v-v-v...ery light blue. 205 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:57,560 A rainbow! 206 00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:58,720 Sounds right. 207 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:02,360 So, candlesticks, cutlery 208 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:05,600 and silver tray could be... 209 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,440 Cups? Yes! 210 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,360 Cups. And... 211 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,280 S-s-s-s-s... 212 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,120 ...some more cups. 213 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,600 Exactly! 214 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:19,120 Oh, that muddles things. Oh. 215 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,800 ALL YELL 216 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,800 JULIAN YELLS 217 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,920 Move it along, man! Push for the finish! 218 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,120 CHEERING 219 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,960 RINGING TONE 220 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,320 Emergency services. ALL: Yes! 221 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,280 What service do you require? 222 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,040 The police, please! The constabulary. 223 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,240 Do you need fire, police or ambulance? 224 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:46,800 We not think this through. 225 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,160 Hello, is anyone there? 226 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,880 Oh! The plague girl can be heard! 227 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,200 Yes! To the pantry! 228 00:09:58,920 --> 00:09:59,960 Hang on. 229 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,960 Was that always like that? 230 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,040 Ghosts! It was definitely ghosts! 231 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,000 Or I might have knocked it. I do do that. 232 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,880 What? Do you think someone's here? 233 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,160 Shouldn't be, but... 234 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:16,520 Let's be on the safe side. 235 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,160 Cut the phone line. 236 00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:20,880 No - the main one. 237 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,280 No - the main one! 238 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:26,400 Outside. 239 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,800 Come! Come! This way. That's it. 240 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,600 What? Who did that? 241 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,760 JULIAN STRAINS 242 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,080 Right, pay attention. 243 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,880 Just ask for the police. Tell them a burglary is in progress 244 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:41,440 at Button House, then give them the address. Got it? 245 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,680 HE SHUDDERS 246 00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:44,960 ALL CHEER 247 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,200 Emergency services. What service do you require? 248 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,320 Yes, please, Jemima. 249 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,640 ♪ Ring a ring o' roses 250 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,960 ♪ Pocket full of posies... ♪ 251 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,400 Hello, is anyone there? # A-tish-oo, a-tish-oo... ♪ 252 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,240 I think maybe that's all she does. Honestly. 253 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,440 Why is no-one ever alive when you need them? 254 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,440 Well...someone is. 255 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,800 ELECTRICITY CRACKLES 256 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,600 ROBIN STRAINS 257 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,000 Still nothing. 258 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,560 Is he dead? I wish. 259 00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:18,800 No, I don't. Wait. Hang on... 260 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,200 MIKE SNORES, ALL GASP 261 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,280 Scratch his head. 262 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,000 Thatcher's dead?! 263 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,880 No. Scratch his head. Or, like, jab him. 264 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,680 Come on. I'm exhausted! 265 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:33,240 Don't complain about it. It's a gift. All right! Da-da-da-da! 266 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,360 Give me some space. 267 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:38,160 Shwa-da! 268 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,960 HE SNORES 269 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,480 Oh, man! 270 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:56,200 Eeny meeny miny... 271 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,560 Main one. 272 00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:59,400 BANG, HE SCREAMS 273 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,560 JULIAN STRAINS 274 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,520 You could try prodding his... 275 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:08,800 No! 276 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,160 No? 277 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,280 Hello? Can you hear me? 278 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,480 TO THE TUNE OF RING A RING O' ROSES: # Burglary in progress! ♪ 279 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,680 If you can hear me, all you have to do is... 280 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:27,960 CONTINUOUS TONE 281 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,720 HE SIGHS DEEPLY 282 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,920 Hmm. 283 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,560 Did you cut the wrong cable? 284 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:46,360 It's possible. HE SIGHS 285 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,440 What d'ya reckon? 286 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,480 Well, it's a fine piece. Look at the brushwork. 287 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:50,520 Dunno. 288 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,600 Oh, you "dunno". How are things at Sotheby's? 289 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:53,840 The frame's all cracked. 290 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,360 Well, forget the frame, just cut out the canvas! 291 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,480 Ugh! 292 00:12:58,480 --> 00:12:59,560 Trust me, it'll work. 293 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,680 Well, look, I just... I don't feel comfortable... 294 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,040 Oh, not still asleep? 295 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,240 I HAVE been trying! 296 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,280 But we need his help. He's our only hope. 297 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:07,880 Star Wars! 298 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,360 Well, I've done my bit. Good luck with it all. 299 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:11,440 Wait! 300 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,000 In case of emergency... 301 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,800 ..break glass! 302 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,520 JULIAN SIGHS Fine. 303 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,000 But if I get RSI, I'm suing. 304 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,040 Come along. 305 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,280 Shammo! 306 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:27,960 Mi-wadi-wadi-wadi... 307 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,240 Push that! Push! 308 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,560 ALL GROAN 309 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,000 Ah, good quality. 310 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,960 Ooh! 311 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,840 Ah! Made in Britain. 312 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,400 Right. 313 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,640 CLATTERING, MIKE GASPS 314 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:00,880 Shhh! 315 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:03,400 Vin! 316 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,800 Maybe someone is in here. 317 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,240 Or some-THING. Shut up, Nev. 318 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:09,960 Grab that candlestick. 319 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,320 Right. 320 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,520 Not that. That! 321 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,120 I thought this WAS a candlestick. 322 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:16,520 That's just a candle. 323 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,080 But it's in the shape of a stick. 324 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,000 Yes, it's the shape of a stick, but... 325 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,440 Look, just grab that! 326 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:34,640 SWITCH CLICKS 327 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,600 All right, this isn't funny. 328 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,000 Stop messing about. Seriously. 329 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,840 He's up. 330 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,640 Yes, but how do we communicate with him? 331 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,000 SNAPS FINGERS Morse code! 332 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,160 Will he know Morse code? 333 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,120 Everyone knows Morse code. 334 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,520 Fine. I'll try. 335 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,400 But something light! Getting crampy. 336 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,600 FAINT CLICKING 337 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:05,560 CLICKING CONTINUES 338 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,080 CLICKING SPEEDS UP 339 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,640 HE SCREAMS 340 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:24,280 Eh... Ah. Yes, probably not the best choice. 341 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:25,440 Hmm. 342 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:40,640 DANCE MUSIC 343 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,480 They've... They've gone what? 344 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,040 Mike, I can barely hear you. 345 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,840 Rogue! They've gone rogue! The ghosts. 346 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:48,200 He on phone! 347 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:49,240 Robin? 348 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,840 Ooh! It Alison! 349 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,840 ALL SHOUT AT ONCE Alison! There are insurgents! 350 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,760 I don't know why, but they've wrecked the joint 351 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,400 and broke the lights and blown the power 352 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,160 and I don't know what I'm going to do. Mike! 353 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,880 Mike. Sorry, can you stop talking? Can you open the wardrobe door? 354 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,920 What makes you think I'm in the wardrobe? 355 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,720 Are you? Yes. 356 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:07,760 Yes. 357 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:11,160 Shush up! Shush up! One at a time. 358 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,160 Alison, there is a burglary in progress. 359 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:14,920 The authorities must be notified at once! 360 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,440 Oh, my... Over. 361 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:19,760 Mike! Mike, there are burglars in the house. 362 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:20,880 What?! 363 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,960 Can you just hang up, and stay where you are and call the police? 364 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,120 I'm on my way! Right. 365 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,600 Oh, no. 366 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,760 Oh, come on! 367 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,640 Anything? 368 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,000 Nope. No-one here. 369 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,000 Yeah, well, I definitely heard something. 370 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,600 Come on. Let's finish up and get out of here. 371 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:02,120 Right, if you can hear me, knock three times. 372 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,400 Why THREE times? 373 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:07,920 HE STRAINS 374 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,120 KNOCK 375 00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,480 HE YELLS 376 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:15,520 KNOCK 377 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,000 Yes! Well done. 378 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,280 Well, yeah, you know. 379 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,600 Right. OK. Where are the burglars now? 380 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,760 Well, how the hell am I supposed to answer that? 381 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:24,960 No, that doesn't... Um... 382 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,360 What DOES she see in him? 383 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:27,560 Right, OK... 384 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:29,640 What weapons have they got? 385 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,640 No. How many burglars are there? 386 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,000 Ah, yes, can do that. 387 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,040 And where are they? ALL SIGH 388 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:37,440 Oh, this is futile. 389 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,200 Are they bigger than me? No... 390 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,600 Or smaller? 391 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,120 Oh, I think I've had an idea! 392 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:46,760 Me? Again? 393 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:51,240 God! I haven't worked this hard since that animal welfare bill. 394 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:52,720 YOU had an animal welfare bill? 395 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,680 No, no. I was lobbying against it. 396 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:55,800 Balls to animals. 397 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,200 This way, everyone. 398 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,280 To the bog! Knock twice if you're still here. 399 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,000 TAP SQUEAKS 400 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,960 JULIAN YELLS That's it. 401 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,120 Oh. 402 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,160 Very good. Good, good. 403 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,920 Very good. Yes, yes. 404 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,240 Ooh! OK, Robin. 405 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:26,280 Every time. 406 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:27,440 There we go. 407 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,440 OK... 408 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:32,040 ..how many burglars are there? 409 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:35,000 Ah. All right. Here we go. 410 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,920 HE STRAINS 411 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:37,960 Come on. 412 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,240 Two. 413 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:44,760 20? 414 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,160 I need to get out of here! 415 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,480 What are you doing? There's not 20! 416 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,440 No, I was writing, "2 of them." 417 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,800 Just write, "2." 418 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,560 Well, you know, hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn't it? 419 00:18:58,560 --> 00:18:59,680 Moron! 420 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,760 Hi. Do you have a car? 421 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,320 30 minutes. Could it be 20? 422 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:06,400 It could be 40. 423 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,320 I'm sorry, are you haggling with...time? 424 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,320 Look, it's an hour, love - take it or leave it. 425 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:19,680 What are you doing? Oi! What the...? 426 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,000 Well, that's just wonderful, isn't it? 427 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,040 Michael's gone AWOL, Alison is off-base, and we have absolutely no way 428 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,800 of contacting the authorities. We have to do something. Any ideas? 429 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:29,880 Uh... Ooh! 430 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,040 Yes, please, Robin. 431 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,000 Oh, that's very helpful, isn't it? A deserter! 432 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,280 I could have you shot for that, you know! 433 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,720 Ooh... 434 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:42,760 Well... 435 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,040 Do you think this is gold? 436 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,080 No, it's silver. FLOORBOARDS CREAK 437 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:53,880 How do you know? Because it's silver. 438 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:55,360 Just put it in the bag. 439 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,160 Hyah! 440 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,440 CLATTERING 441 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,440 Why is everything so old? 442 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:45,920 Who's there? 443 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,960 Me, you moron. Oh, sorry, Vin. 444 00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:59,440 Well, swaddle them in something! 445 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,840 If they crack, they're worth nothing. 446 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,320 ♪ Cut glass decanters! ♪ 447 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,320 Caused Godwin's dog... 448 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,560 ♪ Three pewter tankards! ♪ 449 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,960 ..to puke up...turnip? 450 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,000 ♪ Ju-u-ugs! ♪ 451 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,320 Juice! 452 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,480 I think putting it to music helped. 453 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,320 To be honest, I think I was nailing it anyways. 454 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,240 ROBIN PANTS 455 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:33,960 SHE SIGHS 456 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,000 Hello. 457 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,200 Were you murdered while hitch-hiking, too? 458 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,360 Huh? 459 00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:43,760 Oh, no. Oh... 460 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,840 No. Er, no. I was... 461 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,680 I've got to go. I... 462 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,600 Anything else? 463 00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:59,880 Pete said there's disco lights. 464 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:30,160 HE HOWLS 465 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,520 DOGS BARK 466 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,240 Oh, what's got into them? 467 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:37,760 Burglars? 468 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:38,920 Stay there, Bunny. 469 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,240 They'll rue the day! 470 00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:46,800 Hi. Hello? 471 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:50,680 Hi. Sorry, um, I know this is a long shot, 472 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,840 but I need to get home urgently... 473 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,480 GIRLS SHRIEK 474 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,040 Oh, look! Hi! 475 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,960 Hi. 476 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:00,720 ♪ I will survive 477 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:05,160 ♪ Oh, as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive... ♪ 478 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,480 DOGS BARK 479 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,160 What? Out there? In the garden? 480 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,360 DOGS BARK 481 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:15,680 Who goes there? 482 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:17,600 HOWLS 483 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,800 DOGS YELP 484 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,160 HE SIGHS Bitches! 485 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,720 No, no, no. Those were only pewter. 486 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,600 Save that space, and go back for the champagne! 487 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:33,920 Just here, driver! 488 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,600 ♪ Go on, now, go! # Can you drop me...? 489 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,520 I can jump off at the turning. 490 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,160 Bye! Bye! 491 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,120 I reckon that's it. 492 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:45,680 You've made your bed. 493 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,720 Don't come crying to me when you bend over in the shower 494 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,920 and someone puts drugs in your bottom! 495 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,880 I watched a film about borstal. 496 00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:58,400 Bits of it. 497 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,800 Well, mission very much NOT accomplished. 498 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,280 At least, tell me you got an inventory. 499 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:06,520 KITTY HUMS Caused... 500 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:07,600 ♪ Two... ♪ 501 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:09,280 ..Godwin's dog to... # Three... 502 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:13,040 ♪ ..one... # ..to puke up... 503 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:16,720 ♪ Drink... # ..turnips... 504 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:18,040 Cups. 505 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,680 And a rainbow! 506 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:21,520 - Just give them here. - What? 507 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,240 Let's get out of here. 508 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:24,920 What? 509 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:27,760 CLANKING 510 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,880 Oh, my God, it's a ghost! I told you! 511 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,800 CREAKING 512 00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:39,040 MIKE SCREAMS 513 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:41,880 Get in the van, Nev. 514 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:45,080 Yeah, run away. Go on... 515 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:48,080 Oh, just leaving the witness alive, are we? 516 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,800 Not even a threat of violence? 517 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,960 At least, take some identification 518 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,560 and say you'll be back if he contacts the authori... 519 00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,520 What have I become? 520 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:03,400 SHE PANTS 521 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,840 I can't believe we got away with it. 522 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,320 See? Absolute piece of... 523 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,840 VINNY YELLS 524 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,400 CRASH 525 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,360 DOGS BARK 526 00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:20,720 Ah! 527 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,320 Don't bally move! 528 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,160 I've got a problem with my bowel! 529 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:25,920 Move an inch and you will have. 530 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,200 Good girls. Good girls! 531 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,240 Ah! Annabel! 532 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:33,760 SHE PANTS 533 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:35,760 Alison. 534 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:37,520 ..pivots in the middle. HUMPHREY YELLS 535 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,200 Ow! I fought in an actual battle... 536 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,440 There are burglars! 537 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,840 But you know that. 538 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,840 POLICE RADIO CHATTER 539 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:48,080 As a pivotal member of the local neighbourhood watch, 540 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:52,120 I was keeping my usual vigil over the surrounding estates... 541 00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:54,040 The operator thought she heard a child, 542 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:55,880 so we traced the number and got the address. 543 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:56,920 What? 544 00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:00,280 But we'd have been too late if it weren't for your friend here. 545 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:01,520 Thank you. 546 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:04,480 No, no. Least I could do. 547 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,320 No-one to blame but yourself, Neville. 548 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,760 You mark my words. They're going throw the book at you, son. 549 00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:17,080 What do you reckon? No previous. Probably probation. 550 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:18,880 You what?! 551 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:23,200 I mean, they do still freak me out. But, well...they did good tonight. 552 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,640 Yeah, they properly saved our skins. 553 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:30,560 And to think, when I first met them, they seemed so selfish. 554 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,560 TAP GUSHES 555 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,680 SPLUTTERS 556 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,280 Well, close the door, then! 557 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,280 I've had a hell of a day. 558 00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:47,360 HE EXHALES DEEPLY 36669

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