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1
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:16,360
Can you hear them?
2
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:17,880
Oh, yes.
3
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:19,760
Snap, crackle and pop.
4
00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:23,040
They sounds like tiny people.
5
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:25,040
Plip-plip-plip-plip-plip!
6
00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:26,680
"Help me, I can't swim!"
7
00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,000
Guys, do you mind?
8
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:29,840
What are they doing?
9
00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:31,320
Talking about the cereal.
10
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:35,360
Red man! Red man! Red man! Red man!
11
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,240
- Postman's coming.
- How do you...?
12
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:38,280
Oh!
13
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:40,200
I'll go with you. # Friends together
14
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,120
# Fetch the post together... #
15
00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:48,040
Cornflakes were actually invented
16
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,360
to stop people from touching themselves,
apparently.
17
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,200
Never did like cornflakes.
18
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,400
Give me an egg atop a
cutlet any day of the diary.
19
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:56,840
Ooh!
20
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,200
- Toaster.
- Yes, I know, I wasn't scared.
21
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,040
# ...Let me read the post... #
22
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,800
It's so exciting reading
one's correspondences.
23
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,760
I bet these are from all your admirers.
I promise I won't tell Michael!
24
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:07,800
Anything interesting?
25
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,240
Red bill.
26
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:10,520
Red bill.
27
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:11,560
Normal bill.
28
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,160
- Ooh!
- Ooh!
29
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:17,960
They're looking for a house
to film a new drama in.
30
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:20,800
Oh, I smell money!
31
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,400
- You can eat them now.
- What?
32
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:27,040
They have stopped calling out.
They are dead.
33
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:52,360
Yeah, I mean,
it really is an incredible place.
34
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,280
The building itself is 15th century.
35
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:56,640
Wow.
36
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,320
1469, to be precise.
37
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:00,560
Very good.
38
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,360
- But the facade is actually mid-16th.
- But the facade
39
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:03,920
is actually mid-16th.
40
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:05,840
'Tis the finest house in the county.
41
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,560
Tell her it's the finest
house in the county.
42
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:10,520
I don't want to...
43
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,440
...blow our own trumpet,
44
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:17,640
but some people say that it is
the finest house in the county.
45
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,240
Shall we go inside?
46
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,440
I'm telling you, this is a bad idea.
47
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:24,320
Actors lounging about the house,
48
00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:26,720
learning lines, wearing make-up,
49
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,320
prancing about the place in loincloths,
50
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,680
topless, oiled up.
51
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,440
- Kissing each other probably.
- Oh, gosh!
52
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,400
I don't think it's that kind of film, mate!
53
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,400
This was the banqueting hall.
54
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,240
- Great space.
- Boo!
55
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:40,520
Oh! Agh!
56
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,480
Oh, I forgot to take out the bins.
57
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,760
Anyway,
what could I tell you about this room?
58
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,920
Henry VIII actually dined here.
59
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,920
Wow! Henry VIII actually dined here.
60
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:54,080
Sorry, did I say "wow"?
61
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,160
I'm just still amazed by that.
62
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:57,960
- No, it is wow.
- Yeah.
63
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,240
Yeah, you should've seen the banquet.
He had swan.
64
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,520
- He had swan.
- And hog.
65
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:03,680
- And hog.
- And dumplings.
66
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:04,960
- And dumplings.
- And figs.
67
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,120
- And figs.
- Absolutely stank out the privy.
68
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,280
And absolutely loved the place.
69
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:10,960
Absolutely loved it.
70
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,480
As do we!
71
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,480
Hmm. Shall we move on?
72
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,480
Er, give us a lift?
73
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,520
- Mate?
- OK.
74
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,000
Thank you. Yay!
75
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:22,960
What's the programme, then?
76
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,120
It's a period drama.
77
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,720
- Oh, what period?
- Stuart!
78
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:26,680
- Tudor!
- Regency!
79
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,240
- Regency.
- Yes!
80
00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,840
Sorry! Got carried away!
81
00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:33,080
Oh, there you are!
82
00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,040
Are you a sight for sore...?
83
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,480
Oh, you are kidding me?
84
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:43,160
When I have control of the hands,
I am going to punch you so hard.
85
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,480
I think this place is perfect,
86
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,040
if you'd be willing to have us
here for a couple of months.
87
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,880
How much would you be offering?
88
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,360
- 3,000.
- We'd have to sleep on it.
89
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,720
- 3,000 a day is the most we can offer.
- A day?!
90
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,120
Morning!
I've just slept on it and I say yes!
91
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:57,480
- And it's a yes from me!
- Great!
92
00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,080
Just to warn you, though,
it is quite intrusive.
93
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,520
- Lots of personnel.
- Sounds fun.
94
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:03,960
It can feel like you're not
welcome in your own home.
95
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,920
- Absolutely outrageous.
- We're used to that.
96
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,600
We've had building work going on.
97
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,120
Is there anything structural
we should know about?
98
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:10,920
- Well, the floor in this room...
- No, no, no!
99
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,840
No, there's nothing structural.
100
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,560
Everything's structurally sound as a pound!
101
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,480
We were looking at a
property in the next village,
102
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:19,840
but they're a big family
103
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,120
and they had some issues about
which rooms we could use.
104
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,360
Well, we're easy. You can film
wherever you like, when you like.
105
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,000
Cos it's just the two of us.
106
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,000
Yeah...
107
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,680
Oh, here they come. The riffraff.
108
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,840
The lags. This will be chaos.
109
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,680
Hmm.
110
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,720
- Morning.
- Mind your backs!
111
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,320
ADs on channel 2, please.
112
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,520
Well, I'm keeping out of it.
113
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:04,960
Yes, though I might just, erm...check.
114
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,440
Yeah. Hm.
115
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,280
Um...
116
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,760
Oh, that looks absolutely lovely,
that, doesn't it?
117
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,720
You gonna put an egg on it?
118
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,160
He's put an egg on it!
119
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,840
Can I have some veggie sausages, please?
120
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:22,840
- No.
- On a roll.
121
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,200
No. Disgusting.
122
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,680
You be beautiful wigs
123
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:30,040
that I ever did s... Ooh!
124
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,600
Have you left your tongs on, Tina?
125
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,240
Is this meant to be 1820s?
126
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,440
Those are Rococo chairs and tables.
127
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,720
You can tell by the legs.
They're Rococo legs.
128
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,600
Hi, I'm Adam,
I'm the first assistant director.
129
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,160
- Nice to meet you, hi.
- Hi.
130
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,600
Sorry...
131
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,520
What do you mean, he's still in make-up?
132
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,680
We're not meant to have more
than 15 people on this floor,
133
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,800
and some of these things weigh
as much as people, so that's...
134
00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,880
It'll be fine.
I'm sure that's an exaggeration.
135
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,160
But the survey said...
136
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,760
Yeah, the survey also said that
we need to replace the drains,
137
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,480
and we need this money to do that.
138
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,120
There aren't that many people, anyway.
139
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,720
As long as there isn't
anything that's too heavy.
140
00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:09,000
Mind your backs!
141
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,920
OK! You can store this in the other room,
actually.
142
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,320
It's easier for you then, isn't it?
143
00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:18,120
Just keep things a bit more uncluttered
in here. The room just along there.
144
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,440
Can we just...?
145
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,600
- Er...
- Little horse go clippy-clippy-clop.
146
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:23,960
Oh, I see.
147
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,000
Oh, hey!
148
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:27,920
- No!
- What a business!
149
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,120
Oh, you done it now, man.
150
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:38,040
I suppose we should call it a day...
Hello to you, sir!
151
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,120
The gee-gees, come on, then.
Let's have a bit of this.
152
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:43,480
Come on.
153
00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:46,760
OK.
154
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,960
That's an arrival on Toby.
Just stepping out of the car.
155
00:06:58,480 --> 00:06:59,720
Oh, my God.
156
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,440
Who is that?
157
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:02,680
Toby Nightingale.
158
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,720
- He is...
- Hot, right?
159
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,120
It's certainly a lot of layers.
160
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,720
No, Kitty, she means to say
161
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,440
she's in love with him.
162
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,040
A knife in my heart!
163
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,840
Look at all his servants.
164
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:16,960
He looks preposterous.
165
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,520
Nine, ten...
166
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,200
He counts as two.
167
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,160
What are you...?
168
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,200
Ah.
169
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,040
- Oh, no.
- Everything OK?
170
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,760
- No. Yeah. Everything's fine.
171
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,920
It's just Toby Nightingale,
that's her free pass.
172
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,680
Free pass? Oh, right!
173
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,000
Ha! Don't let him hear that.
174
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,360
Yeah, I won't.
175
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,880
I definitely won't.
176
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,400
Julian! I say, Julian!
177
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,400
What do you want? I'm terribly busy.
178
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:51,360
You wouldn't happen to know what a
"free pass" means?
179
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,560
Something Michael said.
180
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,560
Oh, yes. Samantha Fox was mine.
181
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,400
I do hope she's still modelling.
Very talented lady.
182
00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,360
Alison's is this actor fellow.
183
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,200
What does it mean?
184
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,960
Well,
it's a sort of clause in a marriage contract.
185
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,440
A named exception to the rule of monogamy.
186
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,040
Sometimes there's a whole list of people
187
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:13,160
with whom one can enter into
congress without consequences.
188
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,240
My God! Margot had three of
the Gladiators on her list -
189
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:19,400
Wolf, Cobra and John Fashanu.
190
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:23,480
You mean to say that this player,
this minstrel,
191
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,800
is allowed to bed fair Alison?
192
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,720
He's her free pass.
193
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:39,000
I'll start here,
and I think I'm going to approach...
194
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,120
What are they feeding the metal cow?
195
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:46,480
Oh! No, that's not a cow, Mary, no.
That's called a camera.
196
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,280
Yes. They're just cleaning the lens.
197
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,400
Is that its mouth?
198
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,960
No, no, no. That's its, erm, eye.
199
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,120
OK, checks are happy.
200
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,680
What does that mean?
201
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,360
I thought you weren't interested?
202
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,320
What?
No, no, no, I just wanted to, erm, you know?
203
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,280
Can we clear the frame now?
204
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,560
First positions. Call for quiet.
205
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,360
- Quiet on set, please!
- That's extraordinary.
206
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,640
Camera set?
207
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:14,680
Huh! Getting a good look, are we?
208
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,120
- Quiet!
- Hmm?
209
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,480
- Alison!
- Shush.
210
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,200
- A word, if you please.
- Shh-shh-shh!
211
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,240
- Is it true that...?
- Shush...
212
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,520
...everyone.
213
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,720
Thank you.
214
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,680
- And action!
- Oh, that's very good.
215
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:39,440
They've left for London.
It's a pity that such a sweet girl
216
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,920
should have such low connections.
217
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,080
Ooh! She's a fancy flapjack.
218
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,240
Perhaps you are too harsh on your sex,
Miss Jane.
219
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,200
In truth, you have not had
experience of all of society.
220
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,920
I am beginning to believe that this severity
221
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,160
is born from other distractions.
222
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:03,120
Do you find yourself distracted, Miss Jane?
223
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:04,760
My lord.
224
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,200
Kiss him!
225
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,200
What is it? Damn you!
226
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,720
- Yes, what is it? Damn you!
- A letter for you, Lord Byron, sir.
227
00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:17,440
- Byron?
- Cut!
228
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:21,720
- Cut what? Oh, not my lace!
- Byron? Did he say Byron?
229
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,400
Isn't he going to read the letter?
230
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:24,960
I'm sure Adam knows what he's doing.
231
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,480
That's one out, three in.
232
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:27,680
Four.
233
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,240
God, they're everywhere!
234
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,600
This is about Byron?
235
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,200
Well, yeah, I mean,
the clue is in the title, mate.
236
00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:36,360
What effrontery is this?
237
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,400
I cannot and will not bear it!
238
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,000
Can we take that key light up a little?
239
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,160
Ohh...
240
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,400
You do light.
241
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,560
- He's smaller in real life, isn't he?
- Taller, if anything.
242
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,520
I wish I could see his calves.
243
00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:01,400
I bet he's got lovely calves.
244
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,680
- Well, I thought that was rather good.
- No good for me.
245
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,520
It sounds like there's a radio on somewhere.
246
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:07,360
- Can we find out where the...?
- I'm on it.
247
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:09,920
I can also hear a wood pigeon.
248
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,920
Yeah, good luck with that one, mate.
249
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:15,040
- What's up after this one?
- We're in the bedroom for the sex scene.
250
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:17,080
Oh, my!
251
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:25,040
- Sorry, Julian, they can hear it on set.
- No, actually, this is important.
252
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,600
I need to... Don't do that!
I've got a bet on.
253
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,720
- You've got a bet on?
- That's what I said.
254
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,080
You can't bet, you're dead.
255
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,400
All right, don't rub it in.
256
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,320
It's a sportsman's bet with myself.
257
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,840
Ooh, hold on a minute.
258
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:39,120
- You could put a bet on for me.
- You haven't got any money, you're...
259
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,280
Dead! I know, you just said that, I get it!
260
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:42,760
But you could keep my winnings,
261
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,160
maybe buy yourself a pretty little dress.
262
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,560
Perhaps some make-up.
263
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,200
Make yourself look nice.
264
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,560
I really believe you have it in you, Alison.
265
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,880
Just need a bit of help, that's all.
266
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:55,480
- Wow.
- You're welcome.
267
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,040
Just keep the radio off, please!
268
00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:00,080
Will do! Mystery Queen - 10-1!
269
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,920
Sorted.
270
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,440
Thank you. OK!
271
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,400
- I can hear the radio again.
- One sec!
272
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,160
I told you to turn it off.
273
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,680
No, actually, no, you didn't. You said...
274
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,800
Er...hold on a moment! This is my house too.
275
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,480
I have a right to the amenities.
276
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,760
- This is an infringement of my...
- Write to your MP!
277
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,800
She got me there.
278
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,160
Sorry about that.
279
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,640
It won't happen again now.
280
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,160
OK.
281
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,480
Let's not get behind.
First positions, please!
282
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,120
- That's it, Adam, call them to order!
- Sound speed.
283
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,920
Here we go, stand by! Settle.
284
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,440
- And action!
- Action.
285
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,080
They've left for London.
286
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:47,440
It's a pity that such a sweet girl
should have such low connections.
287
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,400
- She said that before.
- Yes, that's because...
288
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,480
Please, Pat. We're turning.
289
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,000
Perhaps you are too harsh on your sex,
Miss Jane.
290
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,120
In truth you have not had
291
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,360
experience of all of society.
292
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:04,560
I am beginning to believe that this severity
293
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,120
is born of other distractions.
294
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:11,960
Do you find yourself distracted, Miss Jane?
295
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,720
Robin!
296
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:16,960
For God's sake!
297
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:24,000
Sorry. It was just a really good take,
wasn't it?
298
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:25,400
Harry!
299
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,800
Sorry, I don't know why that happened.
I'll sort it.
300
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,720
OK, let's cut and reset as
quickly as possible, please.
301
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,200
No, we don't have time.
We'll just use the beginning of that one.
302
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:35,680
Let's move on before we lose the day.
303
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,760
OK, moving on!
Set up for the next shot, please.
304
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,520
Moving on, please, everyone. Moving on.
305
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:43,000
Can I take a look at playback, please?
306
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,760
'Tis witchcraft.
307
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,240
Their souls be captured in the window.
308
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:53,080
Oh, no, no, no. It's all being
recorded on to a video cassette.
309
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,400
But how are they cleft in twain?
310
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,840
They be there and there.
311
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,480
What?
312
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,360
Oh, God.
313
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:10,080
Um... Sorry if I distracted you there.
314
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:13,040
Oh, I didn't notice.
I was completely in the scene.
315
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:14,760
Great.
316
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,560
We haven't met, have we?
317
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,040
- I'm Toby.
- I-I-I'm Alison.
318
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:22,840
Can I just say how good I thought
you were in The Shoe Shiner?
319
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:24,120
Fire away.
320
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:26,720
Oh, er, yeah.
321
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:28,680
I just thought you were so good.
322
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,560
- It's actually one of my favourite films.
- I'm Mike.
323
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,400
I completely believed that you were blind.
324
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,800
Thanks.
I spent a week at a hotel for the blind.
325
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,480
Wore a blindfold,
really got to know the condition.
326
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,600
One of the most rewarding times of my life.
327
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,520
- Wow.
- I tell you what,
328
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,240
food never tasted so good.
329
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,440
Now I always eat with my eyes closed.
330
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,000
Mind your backs, please!
331
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,320
Whoa-whoa-whoa.
332
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:53,920
Excuse me, Toby.
333
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,320
No problem.
334
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,040
Nice to meet you, Abigail.
335
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,040
It's...It's Alison.
336
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,840
That looks really heavy.
Shall we just come clean?
337
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,160
What, and tell them that
they're working on a death trap?
338
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,920
Look, if you go outside, that's one less.
339
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:08,960
Both of us.
340
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,320
Fine.
341
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,920
Curses!
342
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:25,400
A pox on all of them...
343
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:26,720
...apart from Alison.
344
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,480
Finally!
345
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,960
Come to coax me back, have you?
346
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,520
It's no use!
347
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,600
Nothing will persuade me to... Oh, it's you.
348
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,040
Go and get Alis... Oh, he can't hear me.
349
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,520
Harry, can you hurry with that light,
please?
350
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:47,760
So the metal cow remembers what it sees...
351
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,600
Through its one eye?
352
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:52,320
Yeah. And it sends the
memories through the cables...
353
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:53,880
- Worms.
- Worms, if you like.
354
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,560
...to the little window.
355
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,280
Where the tiny peoples dance the memories.
356
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,320
Yeah, if you like.
357
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:03,760
Ohh!
358
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,280
Come to dadda.
359
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,880
There we go, that's all good.
360
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,640
Seems to be all right now.
361
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,800
Thanks, Harry, just one more, from the top.
362
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,680
I thought they were moving on?
When are they moving on?
363
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,680
Oh, they do lots of different camera angles.
364
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:23,800
How many?
365
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,040
Quiet on set, please!
366
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,640
Quiet on set, please.
367
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:27,920
- Turning over.
- Sound speed.
368
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,840
- And action!
- Action.
369
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,960
They've left for London. It's a pity...
370
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,680
Stand aside, Thorne!
371
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,160
- You really want to know what vexed me?
- No!
372
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,080
Fine, I'll tell you.
373
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,280
Lord Byron was my greatest foe.
374
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:44,560
If I had flesh and this were Byron himself,
375
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,720
I would damn well run him through!
376
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,200
He stole my verse,
377
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,600
my destiny,
378
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:56,080
and now he is to steal
the woman of my dreams!
379
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,760
You say every woman is
the woman of your dreams.
380
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,520
I have a lot of dreams!
And most of them are about women...
381
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:04,120
...apart from the one where
I have the body of a crab.
382
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:07,360
What is it? Damn you!
383
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,480
Begging your pardon.
A letter for you, Lord Byron, sir.
384
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:15,080
I will not tolerate this
sordid pantomime in my house
385
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:18,160
glorifying this charlatan!
386
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,200
This cad!
387
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,040
This wazzock!
388
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,280
What's a wazzock?
389
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:29,600
Pat says it!
I'm going to drown myself in the lake.
390
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,440
I mean it!
391
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,400
- Cut!
- Cut there!
392
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,680
Right,
we're going to take a couple of minutes,
393
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,240
just to turn things around for the reverse.
394
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:41,480
- Actors, you can relax yourselves off.
- Right, that's two minutes, people,
395
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,880
and then we're going to turn it round.
Thank you very much.
396
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,280
God, this is good.
397
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:51,760
Oh, hey, Abigail.
398
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,280
- Oh, it's Alis...
- I wonder if I could ask you a favour.
399
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,600
I've got this scene later,
I need to run the lines.
400
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,840
I didn't want to ask her,
because I find it can stifle spontaneity,
401
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,800
and I want to keep it fresh and beautiful.
402
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,000
I'm Lord Byron, obviously.
403
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,200
Yep.
404
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,160
I've thought of nothing but you all day.
405
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,440
Have you?
406
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:07,480
Oh...
407
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,160
No, that's the scene, that's the first line.
408
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,440
Oh, oh-oh! Oh! Of course!
409
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,000
Why would you...?
410
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,480
That's... OK!
411
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,160
- I've thought of nothing but you all day.
- Hmm.
412
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,320
Do not deny your feelings.
413
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,720
- I do not.
- Alison?
414
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:21,920
Oh, my heart.
415
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:25,360
- First, I will kiss your lips.
- Ohh!
416
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,880
- Then I will undress you.
- Ohh...
417
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,400
And then...
418
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,200
And then...
419
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,160
Squares!
420
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,520
Hah! Bingo!
421
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,760
Can we have some music on, please, Cathy?
422
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,960
My bus, my rules! I've got 20 quid on this!
423
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,280
Ah, yes.
424
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,520
You are on a sinful path.
425
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,320
I can't talk about this now.
It's not what you think it is.
426
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:40,720
Oh,
I know all about this so-called free pass.
427
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,720
Your husband may be satisfied but,
I tell you, I am not.
428
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:47,160
The marriage vows are sacred,
and I will not have you
429
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:51,200
sullying the good name of this
family with your wanton debauchery!
430
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:03,840
Mmm...
431
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:06,520
- Hey!
- Hi!
432
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:07,920
How's it going?
433
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,240
What are you wearing?
434
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:10,720
Oh, I thought I'd go for a run.
435
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,120
- Now? You don't run.
- Hey, going for a run?
436
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,320
Yeah, I like to keep in shape.
437
00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:17,400
What are we talking? 5K?
438
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,000
Pfft! 10...at least.
439
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,360
Cool.
I'm actually in training for my next project.
440
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,200
I'm playing a mountain climber, so I'm
mainly focusing on upper-body strength.
441
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,760
Yeah? Me...me too!
442
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,040
One...
443
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,520
Why is that...?
444
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,440
Are you actually going
up a real-life mountain?
445
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,440
- Of course.
- Mike couldn't do that.
446
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,400
- He's scared of heights.
- I wouldn't say scared.
447
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:39,760
Oh, I love them, if anything.
448
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,280
Don't faze me at all.
449
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,640
OK, back on in five, everyone!
450
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,520
OK, well, I'd better get going.
451
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,120
- Keep an eye on the floor, yeah?
- Hmm.
452
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,160
Enjoy your 10K.
453
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,800
Oh, my God. How much does that thing weigh?
454
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,160
Watch yourself, coming through.
455
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,800
Where have all these people come from?
There's twice as many.
456
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,440
In your face!
457
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,600
Robin! What the bally hell do
you think you're playing at?
458
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,840
- Bigger boy made me do it.
- No! It's nonsense, and you know it!
459
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:19,200
Yeah, I just think it's a
shame we're not just pushing in
460
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,800
for that moment there,
just to capture the emotion.
461
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,760
Well, I'm sure they know what they're doing,
Mary.
462
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,960
Will, can you just push in a little?
Just get the emotion.
463
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,640
- Yeah, sure.
- Well done, Mary!
464
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,680
This is taking for ever.
465
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,880
That's probably about 10K.
466
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,000
Little short cut...
467
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,120
Oh... Why is that?
468
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:05,080
First positions.
469
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,040
Thanks for your patience, everyone.
470
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:09,480
This is the last set-up.
471
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:11,080
Toby.
472
00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:12,320
Toby.
473
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:15,520
Lord Byron?
474
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,240
- Yes?
- First positions.
475
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,480
Turning.
476
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:22,520
Sound speed!
477
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,000
- And action.
- Action.
478
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:25,680
They've left for London.
479
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:36,600
In truth, you have not had
experience of all of society.
480
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,720
I am beginning to believe that this severity
481
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,560
is born from other distractions.
482
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:59,760
Do you find yourself distracted, Miss Jane?
483
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,440
My lord.
484
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,800
And cut!
485
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,760
That's scene complete.
486
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,640
That should hold it.
487
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:24,120
Jolly good.
Excellent work, everybody, thank you.
488
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,360
Thank you so much for your hard work today,
everyone.
489
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,640
It does not go unnoticed.
Lovely working with you, thank you.
490
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,120
Thank God.
491
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,600
I thought they were never going to finish.
492
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,960
Moving on to the bedroom.
493
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,120
Closed set, just essential crew,
please, cos there'll be nudity.
494
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,200
Oh, I hope he has a hairy chest.
495
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:43,720
Good Lord. OK, it's a closed set.
496
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,160
There will be intercourse, apparently.
497
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,680
Next up, it's the main event of the day,
this is the big one,
498
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,520
the King Henry Stakes.
499
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:54,160
As the riders line up,
the atmosphere here is absolutely electric.
500
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,560
Here we go! Fingers-fingers!
501
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,560
There you are, Harry, straight through, yep.
502
00:23:58,600 --> 00:23:59,880
First door on the right, thank you.
503
00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:01,240
Er, no. No, thank you.
504
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:02,800
You heard Adam. It's a closed set.
505
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:04,160
Essential crew only.
506
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:05,480
Especially not you, Robin!
507
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:06,680
I'll be good.
508
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,600
There's no harm in it.
They can't see us, mate.
509
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,920
Yeah, we're ghosts, you warty old crunk.
510
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:12,040
That is beside the point.
511
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,320
Rules are rules,
and young Adam deserves our every respect.
512
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:17,960
OK, if everyone's happy.
Let's clear the room.
513
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,320
Mah!
514
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:22,400
Good Lord.
515
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,480
- Ah-ah-ah-ah!
- Why he do rain dance?
516
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,600
The Devil plays with his strings!
517
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,720
Oh, no, no, no, no.
518
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,400
- He's getting himself in the zone.
- Ah.
519
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,040
Fixed it!
520
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,400
Oh, great!
521
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,960
Before or after the 10K?
522
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,920
Where's your free pass?
523
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,400
You...
524
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,520
You're not are you actually jealous?
525
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:50,760
No.
526
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:54,160
But, I mean, he is handsome.
527
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,440
Hmm.
528
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,240
And...action.
529
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,320
No, thank you!
530
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,520
I've thought of nothing but you all day.
531
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:12,480
Yes!
532
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,800
- What are you all doing here?
- We're not allowed in.
533
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,000
- They're making love.
- What?!
534
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,840
No, no, no, Fanny, no! No, Fanny!
535
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,680
Bradley's Misdemeanour challenged
by the outsider Mystery Queen.
536
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,960
- Come on, Bradley!
- Come on, Mystery Queen!
537
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:28,680
Alison!
538
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,040
First, I will kiss you...
539
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,360
Mystery Queen on the nearside... Come on!
540
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,760
Help! I can't pull myself up.
541
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,360
Come on!
542
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,360
Stop kicking!
543
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:42,800
Come on!
544
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,400
Oh, come on!
545
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,920
- Robin!
- What? It wasn't me!
546
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:53,560
- Have you got me? Have you got me?
- It's OK. Let yourself down. Slowly.
547
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:54,960
Have you got...?
548
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,280
Oh, God.
549
00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:58,520
Oh, God.
550
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,920
You're fine now, you're all right now.
551
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,440
All right.
552
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,200
Someone get a medic in here.
553
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,720
- Toby, are you OK?
- No, I'm not.
554
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,080
I could've died,
and then where would you be?
555
00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:14,640
Where did you get that from?
556
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,080
I think you know.
557
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,800
That's a terrible shame.
558
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:28,120
I thought you didn't want them here?
559
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:29,560
Not for me, for you.
560
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,240
The money and so on.
561
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,960
I shan't miss him...them!
562
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,080
'Tis back to boredom, I suppose.
563
00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:38,880
Oh, never bored with chess board.
564
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:43,080
Well, I think it quite the best
to be free from distractions.
565
00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:45,160
You do know that free pass thing's a joke?
566
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:46,560
Wasn't in my marriage.
567
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,600
Goodbye, รยฃ96,000.
568
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:49,680
Yeah...
569
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,320
Well, at least we won 100 quid.
570
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:54,000
Mystery Queen.
571
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,400
Got a tip from a ghost.
572
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,280
That's how we can make money!
573
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:58,720
No, they're...they're ghosts, Mike.
574
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,840
I think you're thinking of time-travellers.
575
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:02,600
Oh.
576
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,520
- Yeah, but...
- No.
577
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:06,240
Well, Thomas will be glad they've gone.
578
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,120
Yeah, perhaps someone should tell him.
579
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,440
Come on, Pat. Chop chop!
41247
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