All language subtitles for Wog.Boys.Forever.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]

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(DRUM ROLL)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(UP-BEAT MUSIC)

(MEXICAN STAND-OFF MUSIC)

(WHEELS CREAK)

Nice plates, eh?

What happened to Wog Boy?

Sold them. How do you know
about those?

How do you reckon, Malaka?

Hey. We doing this or what?

(WHEELS CREAK)

You got balls, mate.

(MEXICAN STAND-OFF MUSIC
CONTINUES)

Sure have, mate.

(MEXICAN STAND-OFF MUSIC
CONTINUES)

(ENGINE REVS)

(ENGINE PUTTERS)

(FEARFUL GASP)

(ENGINE REVS LOUDLY)

(ENGINE PUTTERS)

Awesome.
They're gonna have a drag race.

Make sure we get it all.

(TYRES SCREECH)
(ROAR)

(CHAIN JINGLES)

(ENGINE REVS AND TYRES SCREECH)

(LAUGHS)

(TYRES SCREECH AND ENGINES
ROAR)

(GASPING)

Japanese hybrid piece of shit.

I'm sorry. No offence.

Konichiwa.

(UP-BEAT MUSIC)

Hey. You free, farken?
Yeah, sure, mate.

Hey, you know, you remind me of
someone

I haven't seen in a long time.

Who, farken?
Tony Yugoslav.

That's my cousin, farken.
No way!

What for your name, farken?

Steve Karamitsis.

Hey! I know you.
(LAUGHS)

You're the Wog Boy, farken.
(LAUGHS)

My cousin, he tell me many
stories.

How is he?
Ahh, he go back to Serbia.

He buy chicken farm, farken.

Yeah, of course he did.

And what's your name, mate?
Tony, farken.

No shit.
Yes, shit.

We are all Tony - my cousin,
my cousin's cousin,

and my other cousin, farken.

But Steve, this my wife,
Dragana.

Hello, farken.

My sons, Tony and Tony.

BOTH: Hello, farken.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Steve, you have family?

No. I'm single, Tony.

BOTH: Oh!

Steve, this is no good.

Man without family is nothing,
farken.

(LAUGHS)

Everything OK?

Ahh, yeah.

My wife, she say you are good
man

and one day you will find
wife, farken.

(BOTH LAUGH)
OK.

Let me get the door
for you, huh?

There you go. Come on through.

BOTH: Thank you, farken.

There you go. Good. Alright. OK.

And where are we going today,
Tony?

Train station.

I am Protective Services
Officer, farken.

Oh, top job. How did you get
that?

My cousin Tony, he works for
government, farken.

(LAUGHS)

Steve, you give me number,
we talk later.

But now I late for work.
Let's go, farken.

Yeah, you got it, farken. There
you go. Jump on in.

Yeah. All good.

(ENGINE STARTS)
STEVE: Here we go.

(UP-BEAT MUSIC)

(MUSIC ENDS)

(CAR APPROACHES OUTSIDE)

(ENGINE IDLES)

MAN: Who is this guy?

A has-been who was famous
for 5 minutes

about 20 years ago.

And I'm going to destroy
what's left

of his pathetic life.

(WHISPERS)
He's coming.

ALL: Surprise!

(SING A HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG)

Happy birthday, Steve!

ALL: Happy birthday, Steve.
Happy Birthday

Blow out the candle and don't
forget to make a wish.

(CHEERING)

(CHANTING)
Speech, speech, speech!

Thanks, guys. This is great.
Thank you so much.

And Jagveer,

thank you for that Punjabi
birthday song, mate.

Just like you it was fully sick.

(LAUGHTER)

Hey! Where are we at
for birthday drinks, huh?

The beers and papadums are on
me.

Steve, I have to go

and pick up my son from soccer
practice

but you guys have fun.

I'll see you tomorrow.
OK, mate.

Bye.

Well, it looks like it's just
you and me, Pardeep. Hey?

Sorry, Steve, today is
Baisakhi,

the harvest festival
of Punjab.

Hey, you should come.

The famous Indian rapper, 50
Rupee, will be there.

Have you heard of him?

Hey you know what, mate,
I just remembered.

My family's doing something for
me tonight, you know?

Yeah, sorry, mate, we'll do it
some other time, huh?

Thanks for everything, guys.
See you soon.

Yeah, Steve.
OK, Steve.

(RHYTHMIC MUSIC)

Hey Steve! Come here, look,
look.

That's the best farken tomatoes
you're ever gonna find in your
life.

Did you get the rent?

Ah, rent.

Hey, Steve, you pay...
(WHISTLES) cash?

Yeah, of course. I'm Greek.
We invented cash.

But where you leave? I no get
it.

With your wife.
My wife?

Yeah.
No, no, no, no, and no!

No, Steve. No leave money with
my wife.

Bloody shit. Now she's gonna
spend all the money at the
poker machines.

OK.

Hello, Steve!

Happy birthday for you.

Why, Steve. It's your birthday?
Yeah.

How good, yeah!

Ahh, Steve, this is for you.
Happy birthday.

You shouldn't have gone to
so much trouble.

It's no trouble, no trouble.

Just taken me eight hours.

Come on, this is for you. Blow
out.

Only find the one.
OK.

Come on, blow.

Push, blow. Come on.

Ha, very nice! Very good.
Alright.

Now come inside now,

we cut the cake, we eat,

and we watch the 'Walker Texas
Ranger'.

Ahh.

Tonight on the television
it's a marathon. Ten hours.

Steve, I love the Walker. Come
on. Oh, I love the walker.

Thank you, Giuseppina, Vince.

But the thing is, I've invited

someone very special to come and
see me tonight, if you know what
I mean.

Ahh, special.

Special.
Very nice.

Alright, you take the cake, you
give her one piece. Come on.
Take.

Ahh. OK.

Special, huh?

Steve, how much you pay?

Vince!

Outside later. Steve is a good
boy.

He's not like your son who's
always going looking for sluts.

Oh, good.

Where's my father?
Boh!

Go find him, please. You stupid
bastard.

I hate you.

Alright, Steve.
You have a nice night, huh.

And if this girl is nice,
hurry up and get married.

You start to get old now.

Almost on the pension.

And...

you start to look like shit.

Like Vince.

Alright, ta-da!

Mah!

Listen, Steve.
Not be stupid and get married.

If I was in your socks
today I would have nine
girlfriends.

It's one for every day of the
week.

But I get married and now my
wife, she hates me. You know?

But what am I going to do,
Steve?

Get a divorce?
And walk around with the shame?

Oh, no Steve. No way.

Listen, we just hate each other
forever and then we die.

Hey, Steve.

Hey, boy, look at my lemon
trees.

It's come big and strong
because I piss on top every
day.

Hey, Steve.
Whoa!

Oh, sorry.

Come. Come and piss on my lemon
trees.

No thanks, Peter.

Why not?

I piss and the Calabrese
from across the street is a
piss.

The Chinese from next door,
he's a piss.

Even the priest.

Come on, Steve, piss.

No. I'm alright, Peter.

Alright.
Alright, at least taste my
lemons.

Every time you taste my lemons
you taste the juice of Pino.

OK. I'll see you later, guys.

No.

Eugh, doesn't matter.

Greek piss got
too much garlic anyway.

Mah! Put your dick inside your
pants and come inside.

Walker's starting now.

Oh, I love Walker.

Walker's piss is a strong one,
it's like concrete.

(MICROWAVE BEEPS)

(ON TV) Good evening,
Australia. I'm Derryn Hinch and
welcome to '24 Hours'.

Tonight we begin the program

with a sad story about a recent
social phenomenon

that affects more people in
this country than anyone ever
realised.

Whether they are divorced,
widowed, or just unlucky in
love,

thousands of Aussies have given
up on any chance of ever
finding a partner.

They're probably sitting in
front of their TV right now,
all alone,

eating a microwave dinner, and
thinking, how did my life ever
come to this?

Our reporter Susan Vance takes
a closer look into this modern
day...

Shut up, Derryn!

If I put 'Malaka' into my GPS
it'd take me straight to your
place.

It doesn't matter what the
function is,

weddings, anniversaries,
baptisms, you name it.

We guarantee you
the best pizza you've ever had.

And just for giving Mario's a
chance,

we we're gonna offer you
free delivery.

Isn't that right, Dad?

Yeah, that's right, Franky.
Forget the Goober bullshit.

Your order from us and we
deliver to you for bloody free.

And with 83 shops
right around Australia,

there's bound to be
a restaurant near you.

So...

BOTH: Tell the Goober "Ciao"
and call Mario's Pizza now.

(PUTS REMOTE DOWN)

Happy birthday, Steve.
Happy birthday.

('MR LONELY' BY BOBBY VINTON
PLAYS)

# Lonely, I'm Mr Lonely

# I have nobody for my own

# Now I'm so lonely

# I'm Mr Lonely... #

(CHUCKLES)

No way.
# Wish I had someone

# To call on the phone. #

Hi.

Hey.

Just going to 295 Johnson
Street, Princes Hill, please.

OK. No probs.
Thanks.

Hi, Cleo.

Ahh...

Steve. Steve Karamitsis.

(LAUGHS)
Steve?

Yeah.
(CHUCKLES

Wow. I can't believe it.

It's been such a long time.

Yeah.

What, like, gosh,
I think 20 years or something.

Ahh, yeah, just about.

Maybe 18 years and a bit.

So, how's it all going?

Oh, well, let's see.

Last time you saw me I was
wearing a cool leather jacket

and driving a '69 Valiant Pacer.

And now I'm driving this taxi
and wearing this ugly shirt.

(LAUGHS)

Yeah, I reckon things
are going just great.

Aw. Steve, there's nothing
wrong with driving a taxi.

Besides, I think the shirt
looks cute.

Ahh, not really but yeah,
thanks.

(CHUCKLES)

We met at Chasers Disco.

Right?
Yeah.

Yeah, I saw you and your
girlfriends at the bar and I
bought you some shots.

Yeah, that's right.
(CHUCKLES)

What are they called again?
Cock-sucking Cowboys.

Yeah. So '90s. I love it.

Hey, how's your best mate?
Frank.

How's he going?

You guys used to do
that awesome dance together.

Yeah. I haven't seen him
in a while.

Oh, right.

Remind me again,
how long did we go out for?

One week.

(SUCKS THROUGH TEETH)

Wow. I was quite the
temperamental bitch back then,
wasn't I.

(LAUGHS)
No. You were too smart. You
still are.

(LITTLE CHUCKLE)

Hey, I noticed you're still
wearing that evil eye necklace.

Yeah.
Yeah.

Is it the same one?

Yeah, it is. God, I can't
believe you still remember it.

It used to be my grandmother's.
Yeah, your grandmother's.

She gave it to you for good
luck.

Yeah, that's right.

Oh, this is me. Just here.

Oh, just here?
Yeah.

No probs.
Thank you.

There you go.

Thank you.
That's OK.

I'll just pay on card, please.

No, that's OK. This one's on me.

Oh, come on. Are you sure?
Yeah.

Next time you see me out and
about just buy me a Cock-sucking
Cowboy.

(LAUGHS)
OK.

Although, I'll have to explain
to those millennials it is just
a drink.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Yeah.

You know, you actually deserved
longer than a week.

My bad.

Take care, Steve.

Yeah, you too.
Thanks.

Hey. I don't know what happened
between you and Frank

but I hope you guys can fix it.

(DOOR SHUTS)

(STARTS ENGINE)

(UP-BEAT MUSIC)

(PHONE RINGS)

Hey, Mario's Pizza?

What?

No, we don't do no gluten-free
pizza

and if we did it wouldn't be
for free.

Idiot.
(PHONE CLATTERS DOWN)

(BELL OVER DOOR RINGS)

Hey, look who's here.
Re Malaka, where have you been?

Good to see you too, Theo.

What's it been now, eight
years. Eh?

Hey, you know, I've had stuff to
do.

Is Frank here, mate?

No, he don't come in here
anymore.

He stay home with his mansion
and count the cash.

He drive a Ferrari.

Really?

Steve Karamitsis. Is that you?

You've got 83 shops now
and you're still here working.

Ahh, you know me, Steve,
I never stop working.

(ALL CHUCKLE)
Good to see you, Mario.

Good to see you.
Yeah.

Hey, I like this new shop, huh?

These pictures, are they your
family?

I have no idea who they are.

The designers put them up
there.

I think because they're
better looking than my family.

(LAUGHTER)

(SIGHS)
It's good to see you, Steve.

So, how are you doing? Are you
married? You got kids?

No. I've kept out of that
prison.

Prison, eh? You need a son to
carry your name or it stays
with you.

Hey, relax. Relax. Leave him
alone.

Yeah, relax.

You know, Steve, seeing you
here reminds me of the old
days.

But this neighbourhood is
different. It's a whole new
crowd.

All these bloody hipsters.

The other day one come in and
says to me, "Do you have
Afterpay?"

I said, "Of course you have to
pay, everybody have to pay.
Stronzo"

(COUGHS)
Mario. Calm down.

Come on. Relax. Sit down.

The doctor tell you to take it
easy.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Sit, Steve. Sit.
(CHAIR SCRAPES)

You know, Steve,
we're family, yeah? Capisce?

Mario, I'm sorry it took me
this long to come and see you.
Alright?

It's alright. Shit happens.

But go and see Frank, yeah?

He misses you.

You two have to
look after each other, Steve.
Capisce?

OK, I will.

Hey, Mario, is quiet now.

Why not go out the back and
have a rest. Hey?

Yeah. Good idea.

Get up.

And I'll bring the tablets
that the doctor give you.

Come on.

Oh and don't forget to say hi
to his ball-busting wife for
me, yeah?

(RHYTHMIC MUSIC)

(CHUCKLES)

(BUZZING)

FRANK: You've got the wrong
house, dickhead.

Hey, Frank. It's me, Steve.

Steve?
What are you doing in a taxi
shirt?

What do you think? I'm a cabbie.

No way!
(LAUGHS)

Mate, are you gonna let me in or
what?

Yeah. OK.

Yeah, drive through,
all the way to the top.

(WISTFUL MUSIC)

I don't believe it. You're
still alive.

Hi, Frank.

Up there?

Yeah, man. Up the steps.

The fuck, man?

You alright?

Yeah, I'm OK.
But you on the other hand, wow.

I guess you need a lot of dough
to make a lot of dough, huh?

(LAUGHS)

Still a smart-ass.

It's good to see.

Do you remember why the two of
us

stopped talking
to each other back then?

Yeah, you told me
I couldn't be your best man

and I remember
getting upset about it.

Nope.

Not a hundred percent correct.

See, I was trying to explain to
you

that because I'd already asked
you to be my best man at my
first wedding,

well, it was bad luck
to ask you a second time.

And do you remember what you
said back to me?

Er... No.

You told me to go home and fuck
my shoe because there'd been
a...

C-U-N-T in it all day.

Whoa! That was pretty harsh,
huh?

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

I'm sorry, Frank. Alright?
I wanna apologise.

Eight years later you pop up
here onto my doorstep wanting
to apologise.

Well, you know what, (FOREIGN
WORD) you can go and get f...

Frank, what's going on?

Hey, babe. Look who's here.

Steve.

Wow. It's nice to see you.

Yeah, nice to see you too,
Angela.

Well, what are you both
hanging out here for?

Frank, invite Steve to come
inside.

Yeah. Come inside.

Thanks, Frank.

(SUCKS IN QUICKLY THROUGH TEETH)

(AWKWARD MUSIC)

Nice place.

Nice?

(SCOFFS)
It's better than nice, mate.

Look, look at all this
furniture. This is Versace.

Do you know Versace?

Yeah, the clothes designer guy.

That's right.

He's dead now.

Hey, here's the family.

This is little Mario.
Hey. Say hello to my old mate,
Steve.

Hey, Steve. You like my hair?

Dad said the curls get the
girls.

(GRUNTS)
They sure do. Nice to meet you,
Mario.

Hey, you've got your nonno's
name, huh?

Yeah. Nonno says Mummy's a gold
digger.

FRANK: Anyway.

And this is my little angel,
Alexis.

Hello.
SYNTHETIC VOICE: Yes.

No, not you. My daughter
Alexis.

SYNTHETIC VOICE: How can I help
you?

You believe it?

Some dickhead went and named
the voice on that computer

the same name as my daughter,
Alexis.

SYNTHETIC VOICE: Yes.
How can I help you?

But Steve, you know what? It's
amazing.

Anything you want it to do it
does.

What's it called again, babe?

Home automation.

Home motoration.
Home motivation.

Unreal. You gotta get one.

Watch this, Steve.

Alexis, turn off the lights.

SYNTHETIC VOICE: Lights off.

OK, Daddy.
No, not you, babe.

ANGELA: Frank would have I told
you about playing with that
thing

when your daughter's in the
house?

Alexis, turn the lights on.

SYNTHETIC VOICE: Lights on.

See? ANGELA: Get rid of it or I
will.

OK.

So nice to see you again,
Steve.

You too, Angela. Take care.

CHILDREN: Bye, Steve.
Bye, kids. Nice to meet youse.

Bye.

They're nice family.

Married life, mate.

(SIGHS)

So, what's going on, Steve?
You shacked up or what?

No. No, I'm single.

Single, you? Since when?

Since Zoe left to me and went
back to Mykonos, you know.

Ahh.

Now it's beginning to
make some sense.

You and Zoe break up
just before my wedding,

you take it out on me,

you spend the next eight years
in some sort of heartbreak
coma.

Coma?
Mmm.

No, mate. I'm alright.

(SCOFFS)
You're alright? Come on, make.

Look at yourself. Look at you.

You used to be Steve
Karamitsis, the OG.

Now you're just a sad
and lonely W-O-G.

Nah. I'm not that bad.

Not bad? No, really? Oh.

So, who have you got
on the chick radar? Anyone?

You know who jumped in my today?

Cleo. You remember her?

Cleo.

Yes, I do.
Cleo, that hot Egyptian chick.

She dumped you after a week,
didn't she?

Yeah but you know what she said?
No.

That dumping me was her bad.

Yeah. That I deserved more than
a week. Huh?

Mate.
Mate, she was coming onto you.

Really?
Yes, dickhead!

Of course she was.

Do you know where she lives?

Where I dropped her off, I
suppose.

Well, what are you waiting for?

You've gotta get back there,
Cheech.

You've gotta get back there
now. Now?

Of course. She's waiting for
you.

You got her all hot and
bothered again for a bit of
that souvlaki

and then you what, you drove
off?

What's the matter with you?
You think so?

Yes. Come on. Let's go.

You've gotta get there now.
You gotta go.

Alexis, open the door.
SYNTHETIC VOICE: Door opening.

SYNTHETIC VOICE: Door closing.

I think you're right.

She was waiting for me to
ask for her number, wasn't she?

Yes.
Thanks, Frank.

And it's good seeing you again,
you know.

I'm sorry that I called you a
C-U... No, thanks, mate. Don't
worry.

Come here. Come on.

Good?
Yeah. I'm alright.

Hey, Cheech. Come here.

Zoe would have stayed in
Australia, you know.

She loved you.

You just didn't fight hard
enough to convince her

that you felt the same way.

You know what I mean?
Yeah. I know.

Back then I had my head
too far up my own culo, you
know?

Yeah.

See you, Frank.

Fuckin' Greeks and their egos.

Alexis, open the door.

Open door, Alexis.

Open the door!

Alexis is no more.

Get the fuck inside.

Fuck!

Geez!

And as my mother, the late,
great, Raelene Beagle-Thorpe

would always say,

"No-one has a right to actually
be in this country if they
weren't born here."

Mmm. It's good.

I love that picture of Mummy.

Clayton.

Always good to see you,
little brother.

Mmm.

Yes. This was just before
the Wog Boy ruined her life.

I have updates on Operation
Tzatziki.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

Do tell.

I already have him on video

committing about a dozen
illegal acts in his taxi.

Excellent.

But it needs to get much more
personal. Understand?

You got it, big sister.

Mmm.

Clayton.

With the Wog Boys,
it's all about the famiglia.

The famiglia.

Mmm.

Now, where were we?

(SNEAKY MUSIC)

(KNOCKING ON WINDOW)

Yeah?

You free?

Nuh, I'm not free, mate.

(KNOCKS ON WINDOW)

What?

Then, what are you doing?

What are you, Neighbourhood
Watch?

Just call another cab.
Yeah?

Yeah, fuck cabs. I'm calling a
Goober.

You know what? Go back to
watching porn and pulling your
dick, you loser.

I'm not watching porn, mate.

And my dick is in my jocks.
I buy them extra large so it can
fit.

(MOUTHS)
Fuck you.

(SNEAKY MUSIC)

(RAISES SEAT)

(STARTS ENGINE)

(CROWD CHEERS ON TV)

COMMENTATOR: A kick
potentially worth millions.

Shoot again!

(PHONE RINGTONE)

You calling me from her bed?

No, I'm following her in a
Goober.

She's with some young guy.

How young?

Oh, about 18, 19.

Hey, how long ago was it that
you and Cleo did the hokey
pokey?

Oh, about 18 years and a bit.

This kid, has he got one
eyebrow and a big nose?

No. But he's a real smart arse.

Yep. Good chance he's your kid.

My kid?

You reckon?

Did you use a franga?

I can't remember anything.

I had too many Cowboys that
night.

They're going into that
nightclub, Privilege.

OK.

Park the car, go in,
and start talking to her.

Yeah. Alright.

ANGELA: Frank? Switch off the
TV and come and help me put the
kids to bed.

Hey listen, Steve,
I've gotta go, alright?

Storytime for the kids.
OK.

Have fun.

(UNCLICKS SEATBELT)

(FUNKY MUSIC COMES FROM INSIDE)

Hi.

I'm Steve. What's your name?

Sapphire. Door bitch from hell.

Yeah, right. It's nice to meet
you.

How may I help you tonight?

Well, Sapphire,
I would like to come inside your
club

and spent a shitload of money,
if you know what I mean.

Sorry. Tonight's for members
only.

Please, can you step aside?

Thank you.

Come on in.

Hey, Sapphire...

(CHUCKLES)

I think I paid you that
membership fee before, if you
know what I mean.

Listen, mate, we have a strict
no dickheads policy here.

So if you don't piss off right
now, I'm gonna call security
onto you.

If you know what I mean.

Well, give me my hundred bucks
back.

Take it easy, mate.
Take it easy, alright?

Whoo!

(CONTINUES MAKING
TAE KWON DO-LIKE SOUNDS)

Eugh!

I just got up to Green Belt
in Tae Kwon Do.

You know what that means, mate?
You know what that means?

I'm a killer, mate.
These hands could kill you,
mate.

With just a chop like that.
On your neck, dead.

Dead, mate. Dead.
You understand?

Don't look at me like that,
mate. You're getting me upset
now.

Don't look at me, mate.
Look away, look away.

Alright?

Ha! Ho!

Ooh!

(COOL MUSIC PLAYS)

# He's the man

# With the plan

# Goldi, Goldi

# He's the man

# With the plan

# Goldi, Goldi. #

(CROWD CALLS OUT EXCITEDLY)

(INDISTINCT SPEECH)
Calm down.

I like his jacket. Let him in.
Oh!

Whoa! Bro!

STEVE: Goldi!

Goldi!

Can I come in, mate?

Who's this dickhead?

Just gave me 100 bucks.

Fuck him off.
(MAN SNIGGERS)

Yeah, you're allowed in.
Thank you very much.

What's your names?
Tom and...

Dion.

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTS)

(MUSIC, YELLING, AND LAUGHTER
COMING FROM INSIDE BUS)

Pardeep?

(QUIETLY COUNTING)

Pardeep!

Steve!
Good to see you, my man.

Hey, looking good, bro.
Oh, thanks, mate.

Hey, what are you doing here?

On Saturday nights
I host this party bus.

It's my side hustle.

Ahh, that's great.

No, it's not great, it's
terrible.

I have to listen to
these screaming kids, the loud
music,

and then at 5am I have to clean
up the vomit off the back seat
of the bus.

Yeah, right.

So, you're taking them into
Privilege?

Yes. Just for an hour.

Pardeep, I need you to
do me a favour, mate.

Of course.
Steve, anything for you.

There's this girl I need to talk
to inside Privilege

but they won't let me in.

Oh. Leave it to me, I'll go
tell them you're the Wog Boy.

Yeah, no, that doesn't
work anymore, mate.

But maybe I can be you.

You want to be Indian?

No, a party bus host.

Oh, right. Yes.

No probs, my bro.

Here. Take these
and give one to everyone on the
bus.

I'll go and get a kebab.

I'll see you in an hour.

Hey, do you need any pickup
lines?

No, I'm good.

OK, Steve. Good luck.

Thanks, Pardeep. Thanks a lot.

(LAUGHTER
COMING FROM INSIDE THE BUS)

(CHANTING)
Show bag, show bag, show bag.

(LAUGHTER)
Show bag.

Why do they call you Show bag?

Because he's full of crap.
(LAUGHTER)

Cyclone, Cyclone, Cyclone.
Oh!

Cyclone, I get it.

'Cause your first name's Tracy.

(SCOFFS)
Nuh.

It's 'cause Cyclone loves to
blow.

And she loves older men.

Ahh.

(WET SOUNDS)

Anyway, my name is Steve,
everyone.

I'm filling in for your host
while he goes and grabs a kebab.

And these are your VIP passes!

(CHEERING)

So, there you go, mate.

You wear these at all times
so they know you're from the
party bus.

And we won't have
any issues getting in. Yeah?

There you go, mate.

No, don't worry about Ruben,
mate, he's not gonna be able to
get in anyway.

Why's that, Ruben?

Maybe it's the colour of my
eyes. Ooh!

Hey, Ruben, do you know what
all the kids at school used to
call me?

Wog Boy.

(ALL CHANT)
Wog Boy, Wog Boy, Wog Boy.

So, when I got my first car, do
you know what I did to stick it
up 'em?

I put Wog Boy on my rego plates.

They let you do that?

Hey, Ruben, too bad you can't
fit your surname on a rego, eh?

Nalabalumi.
(CLICKS TONGUE)

STEVE: Hey, what's your name?
Whisper.

'Cause you can't
keep your mouth shut, right?

(LAUGHTER)
ALL: Ooh!

Hey, Ruben. In this country,
every new arrival cops shit,
mate,

from people like your mate here.

It's just the way it is.
Alright?

But here's the thing.

You keep knocking on that door
real loud and eventually they'll
let you in.

You know what I mean?

GUY: Hey, Wog Boy, are you sure
we're gonna get into Privilege
tonight?

Hey, Show bag, where there's
a wog there's always a way.

Hey, Whisper, make yourself
useful.

Go hand these out to everyone
on the bus, alright?

I'll see you guys outside.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

STEVE: Great, OK. Follow me,
alright?

OK. Just all together, all
together.

Hi. We're all from the party
bus. I'm sure you've been
expecting us.

OK. Here's the rules.

They're all allowed in till 9pm

and they'd better be out
before the cool crowd arrives.

Understand?
Got it.

OK, everybody, let's head in.

They're allowed in, not you.

Should have kept that hundred,

could have bought yourself
a better disguise.

OK, everybody,
I'll see you back on the bus.

Have a fun time.

Ruben, you're in, mate.

Amazing. My first time.

Guys, stop!

What do you mean? Let's go.
It's time to party.

Not without the Wog Boy.

Wait here.

(SNIFFS)

Hey!

Either you let our party bus
host in or none of us are going
in.

OK. Bye-bye.

You know, I guess I'm gonna
have to

show my 200,000 Insta followers
what you said before.

(RECORDING) They're only allowed
in till 9pm

and they'd better be out before
the cool crowd arrives.

(SNIGGERS)

Yeah, I think
that's called discrimination

but what would I know,

I'm just a poor, disadvantaged
working class girl

from the western suburbs.

(SIGHS)

Let him in.

Yes!

Wog Boy! Wog Boy!

(CHEERING)

(UP-BEAT DANCE MUSIC)

The shots are on me.

We need ten Cock-sucking
Cowboys.

The gay bar's across the road.
(LAUGHTER)

Ahh yeah, good one. It's a shot.

Never heard of it.
Give us 12 Wet Pussies.

You like wet pussy, Steve?

I've never had one.
(LAUGHS)

Well, tonight's your lucky
night.

Right, OK. There you go.

Ahh, cash only.
The ATM machine's over there.

Oh, OK. No probs.

Hey, keep the change.
Ooh, thanks.

(SONG)
# Do you believe in love? #

OK.

# You just got lucky. #

Hey, guys, I'll catch up
with you all later, alright?

(CHEERING)

Have a good one.

# Do you believe in love? #
Fuckin' DJ's.

# You just got lucky. #

# Do you believe in love? #

(COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS)

# You just got lucky. #

STEVE: Cleo.

# You just got lucky

# You just got lucky. #

Hey.

You're right, they don't know
what Cowboys are anymore

so I got us some Wet Pussies.

Thanks.

Cheers.
Cheers.

(SPLUTTERS)
Mmm.

Man!

Twice in one week. What a
surprise.

Yeah. This is my side hustle.
I'm a party bus driver.

They're all with me,
all those people down there.

Oh, OK. Cool.

Hey, where's all your records?

No records now. Just this.

Oh. Geez, that looks
a lot easier to carry around

than the ten crates of records
I used to have.

Wait, you were a DJ?
This is DJ Stevie K coming to
life.

(LAUGHS)

Yeah. No-one could pronounce
Greek surnames back then.

I've still got all my records
too.

I sometimes play vinyl.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Well, you should come round
to my place and look at my
collection.

Yeah, you take anything you
want.

Yeah, OK, DJ Stevie K.

Hey, Ma, need anything?

Hey, Steve, this is my son
Michael.

Your son!
Oh, wow. That's amazing.

Look who's here.

You guys know each other?

Yeah, he was sitting in his cab
outside our house tonight

having a wank.

No, no, no.

That's not exactly right, mate.

As you recall what I said
at the time was

I was actually waiting to
pick someone up.

Yeah, and how do you two
know each other?

We...

We dated for like, a week
before you were born.

Yeah? Must have been a long
week. Michael!

If you want security to kick
him out, let me know.

No, I'm fine.

See you, mate.

Good looking kid.

Huh? Yeah. What, about 18, 19?

He's 18, nearly 19.

Oh, nearly 19?

Right.

Brown eyes?

Yeah. I think so.

Right.

OK. I've gotta go,
this track's about to run out.

Yeah.

See you...

DJ Stevie K.

# Do you believe in love?

# You just got lucky... #

Alright. Thursdays is now
Croatian night.

You do not under any
circumstances let any Serbians
in. Understood?

Yep.

But what about Macedonians?

It's Croatian night, just
Croatians.

Yeah, gotcha.

Fridays are now Asian night

but that doesn't mean
you let in any Asian

'cause they don't all like each
other so...

Really? Why?

How the funk would I know?

Got a new promoter.

He's pulling a really classy
Chinese crew

so you stay out of his way,
let him do his thing.

Right.

"Classy Chinese."

Now, Saturdays as per usual,
none of 'em get in, absolutely
no wogs.

Right? It's wog night
Sunday night.

Yep.

So, when you say absolutely no
wo... (CLEARS THROAT)

No um...
What?

That word.
What word?

(COUGHS)
Wo-wog.

Hey. Watch your mouth. Alright?
My girlfriend's a wog.

Mate, I didn't mean it.

That's why I didn't want to say
it. Shut up.

OK.

Well, hopefully these new
crowds are big drinkers, hey?

I don't give a fuck
about the drinks.

In nightclubs you make your
money from drugs and washing
cash.

"Washing..."
Don't fucking write that down.

Jesus, you'll have us
all in the clink.

Oh.

Hey, Asher! Asher!

Yeah?
(SCOFFS)

Look at this guy.

Mate, I pay you to sell it
not snort it up your nose,

you fuckin' junkie.

Oh!
Right?

Don't forget to
call the ATM company.

I want that machine full of
cash.

Yeah? Now. Now. Fuck off. Go,
go.

I'm surrounded by morons.

No offence Iggy.

Micky!

How are you, champ, hey?

I love this kid, hey? I love
him. Yeah?

Yeah.

Safe's open, bud.
No worries.

Grab the cash, fill up the
tills.

Yeah.

Should be a good night tonight.
Yeah.

Eh? Our lady killer.

Lady killer.

(LAUGHS)

(CLICKS FINGERS)
Who's this wog talking to Cleo?

Oh. That's some guy she dated
years ago.

How the fuck did he get in?
It's not Sunday.

He's with the party bus.
Yeah, the party bus.

Oh, fuckin' party bus.

I wanna talk to him.

Yep.

"Wanna talk to him."

Now.

Yeah. You want me...?

Yeah, sorry. Yeah, no worries.
(CLEARS THROAT)

Hey, Iggy?
Yeah?

You might want your headset,
mate.

Ah, yes.

Just forgetful today.

(SARCASTICALLY)
Today?

Morons.

(UP-BEAT DANCE MUSIC)

Hey. Come here.

Goldi wants to talk to you.
Alright.

Hang on.
(SNIFFS)

Put this on, talk to the
camera.

Hey, Goldi. Name's Steve, mate.

Yeah, look, I don't give a
fuck, dipshit.

Your privileges are cancelled,
alright?

So grab your crew
and you can piss off now.

Hey, Goldi, listen, man.
Do me a favour, will you?
Alright?

I just found out
that Michael's my son, you know?

So I just wanna spend
a bit more time here with him.

(SCOFFS)
What the fuck?

You're Micky's dad?
Yeah.

I only just found out myself,
you know,

so let's just keep it
between us for now.

Poor kid.

OK. You've got till 9pm sharp,
alright?

And then you and all your
fugglies, you're back on the
spew bus.

Got it?
Yeah, got it. All good.

You done? Yeah.

Done.
Yeah. Can I have the...

Hey, mate, looking for any
boomer?

Yeah, sure, mate. Good stuff?

The best.
90% pure, only 300 per bag.

Yeah, right.

You got yourself a deal, buddy.

So, in the '90s, right,
there was no Facebook.

These nightclubs were our
Tinder.

When you met someone you liked

you'd ask for the free Chasers
matches from behind the bar

then you'd write their name and
number on the inside.

What if you lost the matches?

MAN: You were fucked.

(LAUGHS)

Hey, guys, this legend here
is my best friend, Frank.

(CHANTING)
Franky, Franky, Franky! Yay!

What are you doing here?

Hey, when I heard
you were coming down,

I thought this is gonna
mean trouble so I snuck out.

Frank, this first time in ten
years

that you and I have been
in a nightclub.

Mate, that could only mean
trouble.

This is unreal, Steve.

I feel like I'm 20 years old
again. (LAUGHS)

Hey, we'll have a couple
of Blow Jobs.

Fuck off.

Ahh, yeah, he means Wet Pussies.

Oh. Never say no to a wet
pussy.

OK, this one goes out to a
couple of my friends from the
old school days,

Steve and Frank, the Wog Boys.

(CHEERING)

('YOU SHOULD BE DANCING' BY P
LEMMIERE, N RENSON & K JAMES
PLAYS)

What do you reckon, Frank? Huh?
You still remember the moves or
what?

Shit yeah, man, of course.

Let's show these kids how it's
done.

Ready?
Cheers.

Welcome to
my big fat wog nightmare.

Kick 'em out.

Now!

Guys, we need to move.

('YOU SHOULD BE DANCING' BY P
LEMMIERE, N RENSON & K JAMES
CONTINUES)

# My baby moves at midnight

# Goes out until the dawn

# My woman takes me higher

# My woman keeps me warm

# What you doin' on your back
Yeah

# You should be dancing, yeah

# Dancing, yeah. #

(CHEERING)

Yeah!

What's up, man?
You can't dance this way?

Come on, man. It's not 9pm.

What are you doing?

FRANK: Oh, come on!

Oh!

FRANK: It's our chance to do
this. Alright!

Eugh! Come on!

This is a Versace shirt, man.
I'll remember you, mate.

I'll remember you, don't you
worry. I'll be coming back.

Whoa!
Let's go, mate.

Forget about it. You're so
lucky.

Wog Boy! You forgot your
jacket.

Look out.

(SNIGGERS)

Sorry, mate. Had to kick your
dad out. (LAUGHS)

My what?

You didn't know? My
condolences. He's a real
fuckwit.

(APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS)

CLEO: Hey. Are Steve and Frank
OK? Yeah, it's all good, mate.

Mum, we need to talk.

(CAMERA SHUTTER RAPID CLICKS)

Nice. Show me.

Good!
(LAUGHS)

(PHONE RINGS)
Yes, little brother?

You're gonna absolutely love
what we got tonight.

Does it make him look bad?

Both of them, the Wog Boy
and his newly discovered son,
Michael.

Excellent.

Two for the price of one.

You know how much I love that.

(MENACING LAUGH)

(CLICK)

Put it in my mouth.

(CRUNCH)

So, this girl I dated
a long time ago, right, Cleo,

jumped into my cab last week,
you know.

Nice.
Yeah.

And then last night I found out
she has a son and it's mine.

Hey!

Congratulations, bro.
Tell us about your son.

Oh, he's a real good kid, you
know, a hard worker.

Nothing like his dad.
(LAUGHTER)

Hi, Steve.

Oh, hi, Cleo.
Ooh!

Congratulations. Steve's a
great guy.

Can't wait to meet his son.

Is there somewhere we can talk?
Yeah, sure.

Let's just go over there.

Hey, listen,
I'm sorry about last night.

Look, I think there's been
a misunderstanding.

Yeah, tell me about it. We
weren't meant to leave till
about 9pm.

Michael's not your son.

You know that night after we
first met and I came back to
your place?

We just kissed.

And then you fell asleep.

Do you remember?
Ahh, no. I can't remember
anything.

I had too many Cowboys.

I met someone not long after
you.

Michael was born in Egypt.
We left there when he was 13.

We've been in Australia ever
since.

Oh, right. Yeah.

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah, I thought he was
too tall to be my son.

Everyone in my family's
only up to here. You know.

Sorry, Cleo. I feel like
a real dickhead.

No. Hey, it's not your fault.

I totally understand.
It was such a long time ago.

Sorry to interrupt.

Steve, there's
a bitchin' black Lamborghini

parked right outside the front,
bro.

Come and have a look.

Goldi brought me.
He's my boyfriend.

I'd better go.

(MOUTHS)
What the fuck!

Hey, wait, I'll walk you out.

How long does it take to go
from zero to 100ks?

Oh, probably about the same
amount of time it takes you to
come.

2.9 seconds.

CLEO: Bye, Steve.

Come on, baby.
I'm ready. Let's go.

Hey, Steve, next time I need to
cab it, I'll know who to call.

(CHUCKLES)

(HYDRAULIC DOOR HISSES)

Then again, do I look like
I need a cab?

(LAUGHS DERISIVELY)

(DOOR HISSES)
Ooh.

(ENGINE ROARS)

(WHISTLES)

She made the wrong choice, my
man.

I mean, look at you
and then look at him. No
comparison.

I've always been a bad liar
and a terrible poker player.

(LIGHT MUSIC)

GOLDI: Hey.

Don't worry about him. I've
barred that dickhead from the
club.

Yeah, why would you do that?
Steve's a really nice guy.

He just got excited
about being a father.

Yeah. Well, it looks like you
were the last good thing to
happen to that loser.

Baby, I'm really not
in the mood right now.

Look, I know I'm a little rough
around the edges sometimes,
right?

Sometimes? That's the
understatement of the century.

Alright, always, right?

But seriously though,

in our industry,
only the strong survive, right.

You and I, we did what we set
out to do four years ago.
Right?

And together we created
the hottest club in town.

Right? When I retire I'm gonna
hand the keys over to Michael.

Michael, shit! I've gotta go.

I promised him
we'd grab lunch together.

Oh!

Wait. I thought we were
gonna have a drink.

Eugh, fuck me.

(SCOFFS)
Well, hello, Dad.

I'm sorry. I messed up, alright.

Is your mum home?

No.
Hey, wait.

Is that of a four barrel Holley
in your hand?

Yeah.

What, from an LH?
An LX.

Don't tell me you've got
an original SLR 5000.

I wish. It's a stuck LX but I'm
rebuilding it as an SLR 5000.

Yeah, smart move.

You're gonna make a mint.
Yeah, that's the plan.

Are you gonna let me in to see
it

or am I gonna have to stand here
and look at your T-shirt all
day?

Hey! Where did you find this?

Grandpa left it for me.
Yeah, right.

Yeah, my dad left me
his '69 Valiant Pacer.

Oh, nice. You still got that?

I don't want to talk about it,
mate.

Oh. Sorry.

Hey, 308!

Did you rebuild it yourself?

Yeah, last year.

Also got a nice lumpy cams,
flattop pistons, roller
rockers.

You know, the whole thing's
been fully balanced.

Good job.

Hey, when you're ready, my mate,
he owns old school cruisers.

I reckon we could pick up 70K
for this, easy.

No shit. Are you serious?

Yeah. And then maybe you can
take that

girl the works behind the bar
out on a date.

Who, Sophie?

No. She's like, six years older
than me. No way.

So what? Big deal.

She likes you.
Yeah?

Yeah, how would you know?

I saw the way she looked at you
at the club.

And I saw the way that
you looked at her.

Hey, don't make the same
mistake as me, alright,

and keep your head under this
hood for the rest of your life.

There's more to life
than just rebuilding cars.

You know what I mean?

(APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS)
CLEO: Hello.

Hey, Mum. Guess what?
Hey.

Steve's gonna help me sell the
car.

Wow, look at you two.
Best buddies all of a sudden.

When did this all happen?

Actually, I came by to see you.

I haven't forgotten my promise.

So, if you're free,
we could drop in at my place

and you can pick out some
records.

Now?
Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry, Steve, I can't.

I promised Michael that
we'd grab lunch together.

MICHAEL: Oh, I really had
something to eat.

What?

Yeah, I got hungry. Mum, you
should go.

If his collection's
anything like his knowledge of
cars,

you'll pick up something with a
mint.

Hey, I promise I'll have you
back you within the hour, huh?

OK. Yeah, sure.

Let's go check out this amazing
vinyl collection of yours.

Great.

And I'll make sure my mate
doesn't charge you any
commission, alright?

Thanks, Steve.
No worries.

(MOUTHS INDISTINCTLY)

(UP-BEAT MUSIC)

STEVE: Yeah, this is like a
garage

but what I've done is I've
converted it into a unit.

CLEO: Oh, that's cool.

Yeah, you'll see now
when we go inside.

Hello, Steve!

Hey, Guiseppina.
What's going on?

Oh, nothing.

I'm just sit here having my
coffee,

watching the birds
and see who's died this week.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, this is my friend Cleo.

Ahh. Special friend.

Hello, Clio.

Actually it's Cleo.

Ah, Cleo, Clio, same thing.
(LAUGHS)

Nice to meet. You Italian?

No, I'm Egyptian.

Oh, shit.

It doesn't matter.

In Australia all the same same.
Italian, Greek, Egypt, all the
same.

All Italian.

Ahh, hello, beautiful girl.
Hi.

Who are you?
I'm Cleo.

Hello, Cleon.

Vince, this special friend of
Steve.

Ahh, very special, huh?

Hey, you Italian?
Vince she Egyptian.

She's Egyptian?
Yes.

Oh, shit.

Hey, it doesn't matter.

Hey, you two going out tonight?

No, we're just gonna go to my
place and check out my records.

Yeah.

Ahh, record, huh? I understand.

OK, we'd better it going.

Nice to meet you both.

Nice to meet you, Catalogue.
Nice to meet you, Crayon.

Mah! Steve is very lucky
I'm not 20 years younger.

Otherwise all this girls today.
I fix them all up.

(WHISTLES)
Suck!

Suck, huh? Suck this!

(SINGS QUIETLY)

Hey, Steve!

Who's this girl, hey?
She's your girlfriend?

No, Pino. This is Cleo.

She's from Egypt.
You know, like Cleopatra.

Oh, you chiropractor. That's
good.

No.
Hey, Steve, she's a beauty one,
hey?

What's wrong with you?

Hurry up and get marry.
Or I'm gonna marry.

Excuse me, chiropractor,
you like cucumber?

Oh...

STEVE: OK, here we are.
Come on in. (CHUCKLES)

It's nice.
Yeah. It's...

Yeah.

I put the records here for you,
just to make it a bit easier.

Thanks.

Yeah, just pick out
whatever you want, alright?

OK, Cool.
Yeah.

You want something to drink?
Oh, I'll just have a water,
please.

You got it.

Thanks.

There's definitely some
rare vinyl in here.

Yeah.
(WATER RUNS)

Oh, wow.

You've still got
the old Chasers VIP medallion?

Yeah, check out the
membership number on the back.

(LAUGHS)
007. Of course, what else.

(CHUCKLES)
Yeah.

I don't believe it.

You've still got
the old Chasers Nightclub
matches?

Oh, really?

I wonder if it's got
some girl's name and number

written on the inside.

Nah, I don't think so.

This is my name and number.

I remember this.
Oh.

I wrote it down for you
on the night we first met.

Really?
Mmm.

We were only together for what,
a week but you kept these
matches

with my name and number written
on the inside for all these
years?

Why?

Oh, I didn't even know
they were in there.

Come on, Steve, don't play
dumb.

It's really sweet.

(WHISPERING OUTSIDE)
Knock on the door.

She's still there.
She's in there.

Steve?
Yeah?

I just wanna...
Hold that thought.

Hold that thought just one
second.

Steve! I just come to
give my salami to your
girlfriend.

I bring a panettone.

I just bring this nice
cucumber.

Not a good time, guys. Not a
good time.

She's a good one, Steve.
Steve.

Give her the cucumber.

Sorry about that, Cleo.
What were you saying?

(PHONE RINGING)
Oh, hang on, it's Mikey.

Oh.

Yeah, hon?

Tonight we end the program...
Mum, turn on Hinch now.

..with a blast from the past.

OK. I'll call you back.

Can you turn the TV on Hinch?
Ah, yeah, sure.

# Get tzatziki wit it
Na na na na na na

# Get tzatziki wit it... #
HINCH: Remember this bloke?

Steve Karamitsis.

Probably better known to all of
you as the Wog Boy.

He became famous over 20 years
ago

on this show for being
a dole bludger.

Well, you'll never guess what
he's up to now.

He's a cabbie, and here he is
hooning around in his taxi,

dragging off other cars
through the city streets.

Can you believe this?

He's also a party bus host

that gives refuge
to escaped asylum seekers.

This bloke is Ruben Namalume
from the Congo.

Ruben!

He's been on the run for three
years

since he escaped from
a detention centre.

Man, you've got help me
get out of here.

And it wouldn't be a real party

unless the Wog Boy's old mate,
Frank Di Benedetto was there
too.

Remember him?
Daddy, you're on TV!

Unlike his best mate Steve...
Hey, it's me.

..Frank has struck it rich
as the owner of the Mario's
Pizza chain.

That's right, stronzo. That's
right.

Frank...
HINCH: And here they are

partying it up...
What's this?

..just like the old days...
I'm on TV.

..at Privilege's nightclub
owned by the notorious Peter
Gold,

better known as Goldi.

Fuck! I need more Botox.

Now, this bloke has twice
been up on drug dealing

and money laundering charges
but has never been convicted.

Yeah, I reckon some filler
under your cheeks as well,

lift them up a bit.

HINCH: Later that night,
after some kind of fallout,

Steve, Frank,
and the Congolese escapade

were all thrown out onto
the street by Goldi and his
hoons.

That Goldi is such a Bogan.

(LAUGHTER)

Kind of turns me on.

HINCH: Pizza shops, discos,

there's lots of cash going
through businesses like that,
isn't there?

What's he tryin' to say?

He's saying we're crooks.
Bastard.

(SPEAKS ITALIAN)

HINCH: One thing's for sure,

wherever there's pizza,
there's lots of dough to be
made.

GUISEPPINA: It's not true.
I'm not believe.

I'm not believe.

Bloody poo, you bastard, Hinch.

Please, don't spit on the
television.

REPORTER: Have you seen
the Wog Boy footage?

Yes, I've seen the footage

and my department will be doing
a thorough investigation.

Now...
Beagle-Thorpe?

..you'll have to excuse us.

I'm going to be godmother to my
brother Clayton's daughter

and we have a rehearsal to go
to.

That's Raelene's kids.

I've gotta get going.

Here's your matches.

OK. I'll give you a lift.
No, it's cool.

Michael's nearly here.
No, wait, Cleo. Hang on a sec...

HINCH: Steve Karamitsis would
say, "Keep calm and wog on."

(PHONE RINGS)
Yeah?

Steve, are you watching Hinch?
Yeah.

What's going on, mate? This is
no good.

It's Raelene's kids,
they're messing with us.

Those little shits.

So, what are we gonna do?

Don't know, mate.

Don't know what we're gonna do

but we better do something
'cause they just ruined my
chances with Cleo.

Hey, how did the matches idea
go?

Yeah. Yeah it worked, mate,
until Hinch stuffed it up again.

So tell me, how many matches
with numbers have you got?

(PHONE BUZZES)
Hey, I gotta go, I've got
another call.

You there?
(LINE DISCONNECTED)

Yeah, Tony?

Tony, what's up?
Steve, Steve!

My cousin Government, he said
other Minister hate you.

And anyone that know you

and not citizen like me in big
trouble, farken.

Don't worry, Tony, it's OK.

I'll sort it out, OK?

OK. Hey, be careful, Steve.

Here.

Take free pepper spray, farken.
Ahh, yeah. Thanks, Tony.

I'll call you soon, alright?

Hey. You have train ticket,
farken?

(SCOFFS)
No.

(CAR REVS)

(SMOOTH MUSIC)

# Ferrari
Ferrari

# Mio Ferrari
Ferrari

# Faturmo l'amore
Ferrari.... #

Hey, you right, mate?
Yeah, I'm fine.

You have a good day, alright?

Love you, mate.
Bye, dad.

Hey. I watched Hinch last night.

They never used to let people
like you in here.

What?

Oh. Oh, right.

Good-looking wog boys
with a sense of style?

(SCOFFS)
Huh?

You want me, huh?
Sorry, can't have me.

We make the best cars too.
Look.

Hey, hang around. Watch this.

You'll love it.

You stuck up sofisticata. Eugh.

(ENGINE ROARS TO LIFE)

(ENGINE RACES)

(SMOOTH MUSIC CONTINUES)

Whoa! Eugh!

What happened to you?
I got pepper sprayed by that
PSO.

Minister, sorry to interrupt

but there's a Steve Karamitsis
here to see you.

He said it was urgent.

Yes, Jenkins, thank you. Let
him in.

Right on cue.

Mr Karamitsis, thanks for
stopping by.

You saved the government
a lot of money on postage.

What's this?

All of your hooning fines.

You don't have a lot of respect
for road laws, do you?

A lack of respect to something
you'd know a lot more about than
me.

Excuse me, do you know
who you're talking to?

Hey, yeah, Raylene's spoiled
kids.

Hey, can we move this along?

What do you want?

Twenty years ago
you humiliated my mother

and destroyed her political
career.

Oh, we're way beyond
the 'what do we want' moment.

We're up to the 'we're going to
destroy you

'and everything you love'
moment.

Hey, you've got red hair
just like her?

Yeah, I guess it's a case of
deja rouge all over again.

You look like my cousin,
Con-junctivitis.

We're going to do you slowly,
Wog Boy. Like a lamb on the
spit.

(BOTH SING)
# Na na na na-na-na na na na

# Get tzatziki with it. #

Still our favourite.
Mm-hm.

Hey, you forgot the best bit.

Nah!

(SCOFFS)

Mmm.

You forgot the best bit.

Hey, what's going on?

Hey, not one customer all day.

What!
Bloody Hinch.

You know, I come to the country
with one suitcase, one
suitcase.

I work hard.

And I pay my taxes whole time.
I never lie to them.

I never...
Dad.

Hey, what's wrong?

Dad, what's wrong? Dad!
Eugh!

Call an ambulance, quick.
Quick, quick.

(GROANS)

(PHONE BUTTONS BEEP)

(ICE CLINKS IN GLASS)

Hi, Goldi.

How the fuck did you get in
here?

Relax, I'm not after you.

I want Michael.

Mikey?

Why?

Well, that's my business.

I don't care how you do it

but I want him caught
doing something illegal.

(CHUCKLES)
Yeah, not happening.

I love that kid.

The only thing you love
is what you see in the mirror.

You're a narcissistic prick

who would sell out his own
mother for a bag of chips.

Speaking of bags,

one of my undercovers
was sold some cocaine

from one of your employees
inside your club.

So what? Nothin' to do with me.
(CHUCKLES)

Ooh. Your prints are all over
the bag.

How's your reputation going
these days, Goldi?

Do you think you can get off
a third time?

Just as I thought.

You do as I tell you
and it all disappears.

(EDGY MUSIC)

How can I trust you?
You're a fuckin' politician.

'Cause I don't want you going
to gaol.

(SEDUCTIVE MUSIC)

I want you right here. Lover.

Hello.
Hello.

(CHUCKLES)

Ooh!

(SOULFUL MUSIC)

FRANK: Even though my dad never
went to school very much,

he never liked the thought of
anyone thinking of him as an
illiterate fool.

He'd often say things like,

(IMITATING MARIO)
"Hey, Frank,

"they think I know fuck nothing

"but I tell them,
I know fuck all."

(QUIET LAUGHTER)

He worked hard, every day of
the week,

to make sure that my life,

my family's would be
a lot easier than his ever was.

He taught me that becoming a
father was a selfless act.

And most importantly,
he taught me that family was
everything.

And family didn't always mean
having the same blood.

So, I just wanna...

Raise your glasses

and make a toast to a great
man, my dad.

Mario.
ALL: To Mario.

Hey, boss?

I want you to take this cash
to Michael's place for me now.

But I never deliver the money.

We're a little bit
short-staffed. Go on.

I tell you what...

you get an 8 ball for your
trouble.

Hey? On the house. Yeah?

Sweet. Thanks.

Yeah, alright. Go, go now.
Go on. Fuck off. Go.

(CALL TONE)

Yeah, he just left.

(BABY CRIES)
(ORGAN MUSIC)

PRIEST: Receive the sign of the
cross on your brow and on your
heart.

Brianna, do you believe in God
the Almighty Father,

Creator of heaven and earth?

I do.

PRIEST: Do you believe in Jesus
Christ His only Son, our Lord?

I do.

PRIEST: Brianna Beagle-Thorpe,
do you renounce Satan?

I do renounce him.

PRIEST: And all his works?
BRIANNA: I do renounce them.

PRIEST: And all his temptations
in all his forms?

I do renounce them.

PRIEST: And all his pomps?

I do renounce them.

PRIEST: Brianna Beagle-Thorpe,

go in peace
and may the Lord be with you.

Amen.

ALL: Amen.

(DRAMATIC ORGAN)

BRIANNA: Oh, thank you so much.

(BABY CRIES)

Congratulations.
Thank you so much.

(BABY CRIES)

Got 'em all except for that
PSO.

What happened?

Congratulations, cousin Tony,
you are now an Australian
citizen.

Ahh! Yes! Thank you, Tony,
I mean minister, farken.

(LAUGHS)

Oh! You ready?

All together.
ALL: Australia, good country,
farken.

Come, come.

(INDISTINCT SPEECH)

Lovely family.
Thank you, farken.

Thank you, farken.

We're outside court where
employees of the Privilege
nightclub,

Asher Jacobson and Michael
Sedra

have been found guilty
of theft and drug trafficking.

Both have been released on
bail.

Minister, why were you in court
today?

Michael Sedra
is not an Australian citizen.

He came into this country
on a child a visa about five
years ago.

Today as an adult he's been
found guilty of serious crimes
and as such,

once he has completed a
sentence I'll be immediately
deporting him back to Egypt.

But Minister, is that fair?
Yes, it is. No further
questions.

Cleo, Cleo!

How do you feel about the
Minister wanting to deport your
son?

Look, I don't really want to...
Michael is completely innocent.
Alright?

He was conned by a drug dealing
junkie. We'll be appealing.

Now back the fuck off.
Is the club involved in this?

Privilege nightclub
is open for business.

But give us something
about the case though, Goldi.

Piss off, mate.

Are you part of this or what?
Come on.

Drive, drive!
I want to know.

Give us some answers. Come on,
Goldi.

(ANXIOUS MUSIC)

GOLDI: What the fuck's he doing
here?

Just when you thought this day
couldn't get any worse.

You OK?
CLEO: Eugh!

No, I'm not OK.

The only reason this is all
happening

is because that crazy woman
has it out for you

at things that Michael is your
son.

I'm sorry, Cleo. I'll sort it
out. No, just leave us alone.

I regret ever seeing you again.

(SOULFUL MUSIC)

Can you believe this shit?

Yeah. It's obviously some kind
of setup, you know.

Hey, don't worry,
it'll be OK. Alright?

CLEO: Michael!

I'll call you later.

(SNIGGERS)

You're a loser
at the top of your game.

If I were you - and thank god
I'm not - I'd go back to the
Minister's office

and I'd throw myself at her
feet and I would beg for her
forgiveness.

(CHUCKLES)

How did you know I was at her
office?

What?

I never told anybody.

Maybe I'm a fuckin' psychic.
(MAKES A GHOSTLY NOISE)

(CHUCKLES)

See you later, Wog Boy.

Off you pop.

Psychic my arse.

Small Capricciosa, extra
olives. Thanks, Frank.

It's been a while, huh?
Sure has.

I haven't made pizzas
for like, six years.

Yeah. I miss it, you know.
I really do.

It's who I am. It's me.

Oh, before I forget...

Read the reading
of my dad's will today.

He left you something. Here.

No way. Really?
Yeah.

He loved you, Steve.

Sometimes more than me.

Nah! Nah, man, that's too much.

No it's not. Shut up.

Take it
and go and get the old Steve
back.

No. That Steve is long gone,
mate.

He's not.

He's just missing his super
powers.

Eh?

The thing that made you
invincible.

You know what they say, mate,
you can teach an old wog new
tricks.

Hey, I'm not that old.

Yeah, neither am I.
(LAUGHTER)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

('PRELUDE (SONNENAUFGANG)'
BY R STRAUSS PLAYS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES)

(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC)

(ENGINE ROARS)

('BORN TO BE ALIVE'
BY PATRICK HERNANDEZ PLAYS)

# We were born to be alive

# Born, born to be alive
born to be alive

# Yes, we were born

# Born, born

# Born to be alive. #

(IMITATES GUITAR)

# People ask me why

# I never find a place to stop

# And settle down, down, down...
#

(CHEERING)
('LA CUCARACHA' MUSICAL HORN)

(CHEERING)

ALL: Boo!

This woman thinks that she's the
one who decides who is or isn't
an Aussie.

She's got no idea what it means
to be an Australian.

Yeah. No idea!

Hey, who are these guys?
Immigration.

Whoa!
Get 'em.

('GOD SAVE THE QUEEN' MUSICAL
HORN)

My car horn is a lot better
than yours.

Say goodbye to your buddies.

You won't be seeing them again.

She's worse than her mother.

No, Steve, they're exactly the
same.

You've got to get rid of these
Beagle-Thorpes once and for
all.

By the way, that jacket's mad.

(UP-BEAT MUSIC)

STEVE: OK, thanks for coming,
everyone.

Now, Tony, I need you
to ask your cousin the Minister

to get Vince here
the cleaning job at Brianna's
office.

Mate, do you think you can do
that?

Yes, there's no problem,
farken. Great. Thanks, Tony.

Hey, Tony, you want a coffee?

Guiseppina, make coffee,
please.

Hey, Guiseppina!
Alright, alright.

Why do you always yell for,
I'm just here.

Hello, Steve.
Hey.

Very nice.

Tony, you want coffee?
Yes. Three sugars, farken.

Three! That's too much.
You get diabetics.

I just put two.

Alright, alright, I put three.

I put five now. Fuck you.

(FARTS)

STEVE: Eugh! Alright, OK.

Alright, guys, that's my cue to
leave.

Thanks for coming, everyone.
Everyone got it?

OK? Alright.
Thanks once again, Tony.

You dirty, fuckin' bastard.

Why you eat ricotta
to make you shit like elephant?

Guiseppina, get the spray,
please.

No, Vince, no.
Please. I no eat ricotta.

GUISEPPINA: How long do we wait
for?

I've gotta go home, watch 'The
Bold and the Beauty'.

Steve say we gonna do stakeout.

Steak? I love steak.

No steak, a stakeout. Like
Kojak.

Fuckin' stupido.
Stupido.

Hey, what do we do now?

BOTH: Boh!

(UP-BEAT MUSIC)

(OVERLAPPING SPEECH)

You put in the sugar?
It tastes shit.

Shut up.

(LOUD CHEWING)

(FARTING)

You're right. It tastes shit.

I love you, Walker. My boo-boo.

Touch my boo-boo, please,
touch my boo-boo.

Shuck!

(SNEAKY MUSIC)

(SNEAKY MUSIC CONTINUES)

(BUCKET CLATTERS DOWN)

(COMPUTER KEYS CLATTER)

I found something, bro.

She has a meeting at Privilege
on Monday night at 11:30.

But no mention of who with.

Good work, Pardeep.

Hey, where did you learn
how to do all this hacking
stuff?

Back in India I was an IT
technician.

Ooh.

Whoa, got to go.

My shift is starting soon. If
you need anything else, come
visit me, bro.

(TENSE MUSIC)

Shit!

Where the hell have you been?

(GROANS)
Hey, sorry.

We can't start without you.
Get out there.

OK. It looks like the
Auslan interpreter's here

so let's start.

More than 800 noncitizen
criminals

were stripped of their visas
for serious crimes last year.

I'm sorry, am I going too fast?

Would you like me to slow down?

Oh, no, that's alright. Yeah.

There is no place in our
country for people

who come here and harm
Australians.

I mean, we welcome people
from all around the world

but those few who think

that they can live in Australia
and be involved in criminal
actions...

(LAUGHTER)

..need to know that
they won't be staying long.

I'm sorry. What's so funny?

Sorry, what's going on?

Wait a minute.
What?

That's ...

(LAUGHTER)

Excuse me?

Clayton! What...

Clayton!
(LAUGHTER)

Clayton?

Wait.

Clayton!
(LAUGHTER)

Clayton, stop chasing
that ugly old woman.

Um...

We're just going to have to
reconvene so let's take five,
OK.

(JAUNTY MUSIC)

STEVE: Go, go, drive!

(ENGINE ROARS)
(EVERYONE SCREAMS)

(FUNKY MUSIC)

Did they make you an offer?
Yes, 60K.

Oh, that's good.

But wait till the end of the
day, alright?

'Cause that's when all the
serious buyers are gonna come up
to you.

Gotcha.

Is Cleo here?
Yeah, she's in the cafe.

What don't you go speak to her?

Is it safe?

She's Egyptian, it's never
safe.

(CHUCKLES)
Yeah.

Can I join?

(SIGHS)

Yeah, sure.

(CHAIR SCRAPES)

(EXHALES)
Thanks for helping Michael with
his car.

Hey, you know, it's the least I
can do.

He's a good kid.

Yeah, he is.

You know, it was really tough
on him, growing up in Egypt.

I mean, the first few years,
they were OK

but then his dad started
drinking...

becoming violent.

If he gets deported, Steve, I'm
not sure how safe he's gonna
be.

Can I ask you something?

(EXHALES)
It's about Goldi, isn't it?

Yeah.
Yeah, it always is.

Look, I'm with him because he
really cares about me and
Michael.

And we're business partners.

No-one's tougher on that guy
than I am.

But he's actually
never done anything to hurt us.

Um... We ahh...

We hacked into
Brianna's computer in her
office.

She's got a meeting on Monday
night at 11:30 at Privilege.

Why?

Well, I don't think it's about
her VIP medallion.

Cleo, I need you to do me a
favour, alright?

I want you to take what's in
this box as a gift to Goldi for
his office.

It's got a hidden camera inside
it. I can't do that.

We both know Michael was set up,
OK?

Goldi's the only one
who could have done that.

No. What? You're wrong.

He told me something that only
Brianna could have told him
about. OK?

Next minute he's got a meeting
with her at his club.

OK. It's OK. I'll... I'll find
some other way to get it in
there. OK?

MICHAEL: Hey, Steve.
What?

I just got an offer for 70K. It
happened exactly how you said
it would.

STEVE: OK, great! Let's go sign
him up! Yeah.

Come on, let's go.

Steve...
Yeah?

Give me the box.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Good luck.

Yeah, thanks.

CLEO: Do you like it?

Yeah, it's nice.

What is it?
(LAUGHS)

It's an evil eye like the one I
wear. Oh, yeah.

It'll help protect you from bad
luck, evil spirits.

Yeah.

How about I put it up here?

Yeah, go for it.

I mean, it was meant to be a
surprise.

I didn't think you'd still be
here.

Oh, look, I've got this meeting
with this new promoter tonight.

Bloody dickhead's running late
so...

Look, I should keep cracking
into it.

Yeah, me too. I've gotta run.
Michael's waiting out the
front.

Alright. Mwah.

Bye.
Bye.

Good luck.
See you.

Bye.

('WHAT THEY SAY' BY SYMMETRIX
PLAYS)

VINCE: Hey. No say nothing.

Got a lot of people
from the government here.

Ahh, shut up.

PINO: Can we play poker
machine, bingo, something?

Shut up and get this way.

(SNIFFS)
Smell like Vegemite.

('WHAT THEY SAY' CONTINUES)

When we get to the chorus, I
want you to give me a bit more
oomph.

Oi, pizzas are here.

Anyone hungry? Go for it.

Rusty Nail! I love your music,
mate.

Hey. Good on you, digger.

You certainly don't look like
a boy from the bush.

Mate, I used to love the bush.

Married now.

Hey, come and try some
of the very famous Pizza
Fagioli.

Come on.

Oh...
Come on, mate. Come on.

Eh? Check it out.

Oh, no thanks, mate.

I don't really touch the ethnic
food.

It doesn't sit too well with
me.

Wait.

There you go.

(SPEAKS ITALIAN)

Mmm.
Mmm.

(CHUCKLES)

Plenty more. Go for it.

Frank.
Hey.

Well done, they're eating.
Yeah.

How long?
Not long, mate.

I've got a special category one
cannellini beans.

Yeah?

Get ready for hurricane Franky.

(RUMBLING NOISES)

FRANK: Yeah, just over to the
right, mate. To the right.

You'll make it. You'll be
right.

Yeah, just there. Don't be too
long.

(RUMBLING NOISE)
Eugh!

(GURGLING)
Eugh!

(GURGLING)
Oh, strewth!

(COUNTRY WESTERN MUSIC PLAYS)
# Yee-haw! #

Eugh!

Come on!

Oh, turn it up!

Come on! Hey!

Eugh!

Right!

(UNZIPS PANTS)

(SIGHS AND STRAINS)

(STRAINING AND FARTING)

Frank, thanks for paying our
bill, man. All good, man.

Now let's get inside and give
'em a show they'll never
forget, huh.

Let's get ready.

Oh, fellas.
Whatever you do, don't eat the
pizzas?

(STRAINING AND FARTING)
Bloody wog food! Eugh!

And now it is my pleasure
to introduce onstage

Aussie Country and Western
legend Rusty Nail!

('BORN TO BE ALIVE' MUSIC
STARTS)

Come on, clap your hands.

Steve!

# We were born to be a wog

# Born... #

What the fuck are they doing?

# Born to be a wog. #
Dancing.

# Born to be a wog... #

And singing.
# Yes, we were born... #

Fucking idiot! Go, cut them
off. Go!

# Born

# Born to be a wog. #

Bravo, Steve, bravo.

STEVE: Yeah, right. Thanks.
You know, we didn't ask to be
wogs.

We just got lucky.

You tell 'em, Steve!

You know, unless you're
indigenous in this country,

we all come from someone else.

Yeah?

Which means we're all wogs.

Right?

That's right. Everybody is a
wog.

Hey, what do you want?

You from the government?

No, I'm just here to witness
the rally.

Well, I'm from Sicily and we no
like any witness. Get fucked!

Vince, please!
CROWD: Boo!

Oh, fuck this.

(CHEERING)

Shut up!

OK. It's time for you lot to
get off.

And as for you two,
you'll both be back in prison
very soon.

Maybe you'll beat them to it.

What the hell does that mean?

You blackmailed Goldi into
setting up an innocent man.

That's right.
You tell him.

(OVERLAPPING SPEECH)

What a load of rubbish.

You know, my mother was right
about you.

You're nothing but a liar and a
con man.

Stop clap.

Your mother wasn't right
about anything. Just like you.

You know, there's an old Greek
saying,

"The olive doesn't fall
far from the tree."

Play it, Cleo.

Not so fast.
Hey, get off me!

Cleo.

Stupid bitch.
Get off me!

TONY: This town hall
100m from train station.

We have jurisdiction, farken.

Piss off, wog breath.

(ZAPPING)
Eugh!

This guy never listen, farken.

GOLDI (ON VIDEO):
I don't care where he is, mate.

If he's not here at 4pm...
Hey, watch! Look.

..on Tuesday, mate,
don't bother coming in.

(EVERYONE GASPS)

BRIANNA (ON VIDEO): You do
exactly as your mistress tells
you

or your arse is gaol-bait.

Eugh!

(CROWD GETS RESTLESS)

BRIANNA (ON VIDEO): Mistress.

(GASPS)
Ahh, Mistress.

Oh!

What's the safety word again?

Shut the fuck up!

Old, my... It's not me.

Take off your pants.

Now!

She like a cucumber.

Clayton! Clayton.

OK, you are under arrest,
farken.

How the fuck did you get that
footage?

It's called an evil eye, bitch.

Consider it your going away
present.

What? What is this?

I'll be back OK?
I'll be back. I love you all.

Put Australia first again.

Hey why don't you and I
go grab some Cowboy shots, eh?

Just like the old days.

OK. Yeah, that sounds like a
plan.

This time you're stopping at
two.

That's a good idea.

Come on, let's go.

GUISEPPINA: Alright, let's go.

Watch the video a little bit.
Come on, go! Watch no video.

You stupid bah.

I don't give a shit, anyway.

Can someone take me
to get my free pension.

Hey, any chance
we can see that video again?

(DOOR SHUTS)

Alexis, play video.

('FOREVER AND EVER'
BY DEMIS ROUSSOS PLAYS)

# Ever and ever, for ever and
ever you'll be the one

# That shines on me... #

Congratulations, Steve and
Craig.

Here, take this casserole
otherwise you become skin and
bone.

Ta-da.

Congrat-insulations to you
both.

Hey, you don't need this one.

Tonight she's gonna eat your
cannoli.

Suck.

Hey, Steve, Steve.
When you buy house, plant this
one.

Lemon tree, it's the tree of
life.

Sorry, it's a little bit wet.

I just pissed on top there.

Hey! Congratulations, Steve,
mate.

I never thought I'd see the
day.

Listen, it was a real honour
being your best man, mate.

It really was. Alright? Thank
you.

Hey, when you get back
from your honeymoon,

me and you hit the clubs, the
old days.

Yeah, no more clubbing for you
babe. Babe.

Hey, married life, mate.
Hey, Frank.

Take the tree.

Lemon tree, for me?
Yeah.

Thanks, mate. Hey babe, a tree.

Bye.
Bit wet.

ANGELA: Congratulations.

Let get out of here.
(LAUGHS)

Yeah?

OK, thanks everyone. Bye!
Hooray!

Thanks for coming.

('FOREVER AND EVER' PLAYS)

Your wog chariot awaits.

Oh, thank you, Michael.
(CHUCKLES)

I'll drop you off and then
I'll take a taxi to Sophie's
place.

Taxi? No.

A man needs a real car.

Keep it. It's yours.

No, I couldn't do that.

Hey, either you keep the car
or you take my surname,
Karamitsis.

I'll take the car.
Yeah, I thought so.

# Take me far beyond imagination

# You're my dream... #
STEVE: You like your new plates?

MICHAEL: I love 'em.
How did you get seven letters?

STEVE: Hey, I know people,
farken.

(CLEO LAUGHS)
Steve!

STEVE: What?

# Ever and ever,
forever and ever

# You'll be the one

# That shines in me
like the morning sun

# Ever and ever, forever and
ever

# My destiny

# Will follow you eternally. #

('SOMETHING 'BOUT YOU BY JON
STEVENS FEAT. VANESSA AMOROSI
PLAYS)

# You know that sometimes
when love is in the air

# You know sometimes
we're all gonna get it bad

# Still, in this world
we need more of it

# Yeah, we do

# Gonna make a stand

# (BOTH) Hear what I've got to
say

# I've said it before

# There's something 'bout you
baby that turns me on

# It's all or nothing, can't
you see?

# You know I got your back
and that's always

# I know that sometimes
you see everything

# But you know I'm just a man
with so much to bring

# And all I want is that
your love for me stays

# Since you've been gone
I try to be strong but

# I've said it before

# There's something 'bout you
baby that turns me on

# It's all nothing, can't you
see?

# You know I got your back
and that's always

# Let's make it alright

# Make it alright

# Let's turn down the lights

# You know that sometimes
we say the wrong thing

# And 'cause my world revolves
around just you and me

# Oh

# I'd do anything

# You know how much I love you
baby, you're my best friend

# There's something 'bout you
baby that turns me on

# It's all or nothing, can't
you see?

# You know I got your back
and that's always. #