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1
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- I think
it's important to remember
2
00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:06,441
just because you had a bad day
3
00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:08,878
doesn't mean you're a bad dog.
4
00:00:08,921 --> 00:00:10,532
You're a good dog, Elsa.
You're a good dog.
5
00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:11,620
Good dog.
6
00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:13,404
- I prefer not to be limited
7
00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:14,753
by the good-dog/bad-dog binary.
8
00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,277
It's a spectrum,
9
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:19,193
and I live somewhere
between compliant and frisky.
10
00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:20,281
- You know,
I think I'm somewhere
11
00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:22,631
between not a dog and a cat.
12
00:00:22,674 --> 00:00:24,198
- I'm all cat, baby.
13
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:25,938
Domestic in the shack,
feral in the sack.
14
00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:27,375
- Yuck.
15
00:00:27,418 --> 00:00:29,986
- If The Gray One
is done humiliating himself...
16
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,770
- Never.
- I have a share.
17
00:00:31,814 --> 00:00:34,817
I've been thinking about the
untimely loss of Big Cookie,
18
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:37,211
our furry friend
and group member,
19
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:39,430
And it's brought up
a lot of feelings about...
20
00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:41,258
myself.
21
00:00:41,302 --> 00:00:42,738
Will I ever find love again?
22
00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:45,132
- Come back here,
you stinking tree rats!
23
00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:48,439
- Or am I destined to a life
of random backyard trysts?
24
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:50,006
- Oh, you think
you can hide from me?
25
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:53,096
- Nameless, faceless encounters
under the trampoline.
26
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,446
- I know you're around here
somewhere.
27
00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:57,622
- Just pounding, pounding away
in darkness.
28
00:00:57,666 --> 00:00:59,233
- Whoa.
29
00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:02,105
- Chief, you're not supposed to
be in here during group.
30
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:04,107
- Come on out.
31
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:07,545
I eat furry little freaks
like you for breakfast.
32
00:01:07,589 --> 00:01:09,112
- I know
you're not talking to me.
33
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:11,288
- Aha!
I see you nut hustlers,
34
00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:13,073
and I'm coming for you!
35
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,161
- Dude, you know the squirrels
are on the other side of the...
36
00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:17,642
- Glass.
37
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,428
- Go on, Shel.
38
00:01:20,471 --> 00:01:22,647
You were pounding,
pounding away in the dark?
39
00:01:57,943 --> 00:02:01,382
We're frolicking!
Frolicking hard!
40
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:02,905
- Go long!
41
00:02:02,948 --> 00:02:05,037
- I got it!
42
00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:07,344
Luckily, I'm a mer-dog.
43
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:14,786
Ah!
44
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:16,223
I'm so sorry,
I thought you were a...
45
00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:18,529
- A ball?
- I know you mer-dogs
46
00:02:18,573 --> 00:02:20,836
think everything's a ball.
47
00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:22,838
- Jellyfish are so angry.
48
00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:30,672
Big Cookie?
- Goodbye, Honey.
49
00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:32,543
- Big Cookie,
where are you going?
50
00:02:32,587 --> 00:02:35,155
- My ride's here.
Say goodbye, Honey.
51
00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:36,678
- No!
Come back!
52
00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:42,205
- I can drive and stick
my head out the window?
53
00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:44,468
This is heaven!
54
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:47,471
Big Cookie, come back.
55
00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:51,432
Chief, wake up.
56
00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:52,911
- Yeah, what?
I'm up.
57
00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:56,219
- Listen,
I had that dream again.
58
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:57,786
Not the one where I'm human,
59
00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:59,179
but I can still poop anywhere...
60
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:00,615
- Uh-huh.
61
00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:02,138
- But the one where
I'm a gorgeous mer-dog,
62
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,618
and Big Cookie drives away
in the heaven car.
63
00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,141
- Uh-huh.
- Wonder what it means.
64
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:08,144
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, you know,
I had a dream last night.
65
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,059
- Really?
- Yeah, I mean,
66
00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:11,887
it's kinda hard to remember
all the details,
67
00:03:11,930 --> 00:03:14,019
but the basic gist of it was...
68
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:18,328
I walked right into that one.
69
00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:19,938
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
70
00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:22,114
I actually really did
have a dream last night.
71
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:23,812
- Oh, for real?
Okay, wow, what was it?
72
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:25,727
That one was my fault.
73
00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:28,033
All right, now it's too much.
74
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,123
- Okay, let's wrap up
the fart jokes.
75
00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:34,214
- Actually those stopped
being jokes two farts ago.
76
00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:36,346
- I've heard Jill
tell her patients
77
00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:38,348
that sometimes a dream
is just a dream,
78
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,220
but this one
has to mean something...
79
00:03:40,263 --> 00:03:42,265
- Hey, you're a dog!
I'm a dog!
80
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:43,266
- We're dogs.
81
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:44,659
Dogs.
82
00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:46,269
- Well, that's a good point,
83
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,358
but I still think
there's a deeper meaning.
84
00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,752
Wait, I know what it is!
85
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,754
Now that Big Cookie's
in the heaven car,
86
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:54,973
there's an open spot
on the couch!
87
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:58,368
It's time to introduce
a new member to the group!
88
00:03:58,412 --> 00:03:59,456
Nailed it!
89
00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:04,113
- Run free!
- Ooh, ooh.
90
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:06,333
Mine.
Mine.
91
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:07,812
Mine. Mine.
92
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:10,250
Mine.
And mine.
93
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:14,297
- Who could benefit
from some therapy
94
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:16,256
but also not scoot
on Jill's rug?
95
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,170
You wanna get in on this?
96
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,781
- Me?
No.
97
00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:20,782
I'm flattered, but no.
98
00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:22,653
Bingo.
99
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:25,003
Oh, wait, that's not his name.
It's Diablo.
100
00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:27,484
- It's not the same here
without Big Cookie, huh?
101
00:04:27,528 --> 00:04:28,616
- No.
102
00:04:28,659 --> 00:04:30,661
- I know you lost
your best friend,
103
00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:33,534
but you've still got
your vest friend.
104
00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:35,144
I'm talking about me.
105
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:36,798
- I got that, Elsa.
Yeah.
106
00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:39,279
- I'm free now if you want
to dig into the trauma
107
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:41,106
of your sudden
and devastating loss.
108
00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:43,326
- Oh, that's okay.
I'm actually good, thanks.
109
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,285
- You're not, but I'm here
when you're ready.
110
00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:46,373
Poor thing.
111
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,288
- Hey, Diablo.
- Oh, hey, Honey.
112
00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:50,768
- Are you tired of having
complicated emotions
113
00:04:50,812 --> 00:04:52,335
and not knowing
how to process them?
114
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:54,468
- No, but I am scared
of the toaster.
115
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:57,297
- Perfect, a spot has opened up
in my group
116
00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:58,776
if you're interested in joining.
117
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,604
- Will there be toasters there?
- One.
118
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,563
But I'll make it stay
in the kitchen.
119
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:10,962
Well, well, well.
Who is that?
120
00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:13,225
Just about
the most fetching tortoise
121
00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:15,227
I've ever laid eyes on.
122
00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:18,361
Oh, my goodness,
my heart is all aflutter.
123
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:24,367
Dare I introduce myself?
124
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:25,934
Greetings, I...
125
00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:27,675
Oh, wait, no, no!
126
00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,372
I shall return!
127
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:34,072
- Okay, sweeties,
see you tonight.
128
00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:36,727
- Oh, my God.
This is it.
129
00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:39,382
She's leaving us forever
like she does every day!
130
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,645
- And Bubbles,
stay out of the liquor cabinet.
131
00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:45,257
- And they say women
aren't funny.
132
00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:48,783
- I'm just not ready
for a new member.
133
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:50,785
- Yes, it feel too soon
to replace Big Cookie.
134
00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:52,308
- Yeah, Tabitha's right.
135
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,614
- Agreeing with Tabitha's
136
00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:55,442
not gonna get you
into her fur, man.
137
00:05:55,485 --> 00:05:58,270
- I hear you, guys, but
Big Cookie was my best friend,
138
00:05:58,314 --> 00:06:00,664
and you know what she'd say
about moving on.
139
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:01,796
Aw, it's about time.
140
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,058
Good on, ya!
141
00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:04,712
- Why are you making
her Australian?
142
00:06:04,755 --> 00:06:07,758
- Listen, mama, we don't
wanna open our safe space
143
00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:10,152
to some random wire-haired
144
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,197
sweater wearing half-breed.
145
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:14,025
- I haven't really been
to therapy before.
146
00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:15,679
Do the sessions
always start like this?
147
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,507
- I would like to flag...
- Here we go.
148
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:20,945
- That I was triggered when
Max used the term "half-breed."
149
00:06:20,989 --> 00:06:24,862
So can we please use the term
"Mosaic Canine"?
150
00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:27,430
- I'm triggered by the fact
that you look like a piñata
151
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,084
mated with a loaf of bread.
152
00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:32,217
Well, you look like a...
153
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:33,871
Honey!
- Bubbles, can you please
154
00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:35,482
keep your comments to yourself?
155
00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:37,440
You're not an official
member of the group.
156
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:40,400
- Oh, right,
let me just move my bowl.
157
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:42,445
- Why don't we all
go around the room
158
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,186
and tell Diablo
a little bit about ourselves.
159
00:06:44,229 --> 00:06:46,101
- This is why
I dread new members.
160
00:06:46,144 --> 00:06:48,582
- I'm Honey, I'm passionate
about working on myself,
161
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:49,887
and peanut butter.
162
00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:51,933
- Uh, same
re: Peanut butter.
163
00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:54,065
Uh, crazy.
I never talked about that.
164
00:06:54,109 --> 00:06:56,981
Um, I'm Elsa, service dog.
Thank you.
165
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:59,854
Uh, I answer to she/her/hers
and...
166
00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:02,204
And I'm kind of the unofficial
167
00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:03,684
co-leader of the group.
168
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:04,598
- She's not!
- Nope.
169
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:05,903
- Well, I'm Max.
170
00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:08,297
I belong to a big,
famous movie star.
171
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,342
These guys know
I can't reveal his identity,
172
00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:11,735
the NDA and all,
173
00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:13,607
but let's just say
his name was Ocean,
174
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,739
and he had 11 friends.
175
00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,741
And then 12.
And then 13.
176
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:19,134
And then he had 8,
and they were all chicks.
177
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,483
Okay, I'm done.
178
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:22,833
- I'm Tabitha,
Pretty Kitty Kitty Litter's
179
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:25,488
"Prettiest Kitty" 2010 to 2014.
180
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:28,230
- I'm The Gray One.
I live with a nice lady
181
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:31,233
and anywhere from 40
to 60 other cats.
182
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:36,064
And I know every word to
the movie, "In Her Shoes."
183
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:38,240
- I'm Chico.
I have a really happy,
184
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:41,025
healthy relationship with my
best friend and owner, Kevin,
185
00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:43,288
and when he leaves,
I eat uncontrollably,
186
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:44,638
but when he comes back I'm fine,
187
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:46,161
so I'm just here
for maintenance.
188
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:47,467
- My name is Nibbles,
189
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,730
and I'm mourning
the loss of my mate.
190
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,035
- She killed him
and ate his face!
191
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:52,646
- It was self-defense!
192
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:54,082
- Maybe.
Tchotchke?
193
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:57,738
Adorable.
194
00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:01,306
So, Diablo, why don't you tell
us a little bit about yourself?
195
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:02,786
- I feel like you
weren't picking up
196
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:04,832
what I was laying down earlier
about my human, right?
197
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:07,617
Any guesses?
He was the best Batman.
198
00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:09,576
He owns a tequila company.
199
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:11,055
Guys!
200
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:12,492
Sorry I'm late.
201
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:14,015
I have incredible news.
202
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:17,018
As you know,
it's been 15 years since...
203
00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:18,323
Uh, who's this?
204
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:20,021
- Ignore him.
- Okay.
205
00:08:20,064 --> 00:08:23,764
It's been 15 years since
my sweet Darla's disappearance,
206
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:26,767
and I have often wondered
if my chance for happiness
207
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:28,029
vanished with her.
208
00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:29,900
- Uh, Shel,
we have a new member,
209
00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,206
and it's his turn to share.
210
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,121
- I've met someone!
Yeah!
211
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:36,254
Her shell is the most
exotic shade of brownish.
212
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:38,343
But I fear it may be too soon
213
00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:41,390
for me to get back out there.
Feedback?
214
00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,653
- You shouldn't feel guilty.
Darla is probably dead.
215
00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:45,873
- Yeah, you should hit that.
- I agree.
216
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:49,093
Okay, Diablo,
let's hear from you now.
217
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:52,096
- Okay, um...
- My human's got new kitten!
218
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:54,838
- Tabitha!
We'll get to you after Diablo.
219
00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:55,970
Kay?
- Okay.
220
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,232
Her name is Kit Kat.
221
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:59,190
She's getting lot,
lot attention.
222
00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:00,757
And you know, I get it,
she's cute,
223
00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:02,367
she fit in a drinking glass.
224
00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:03,760
You know what
I used to fit into?
225
00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:05,022
A shot glass.
226
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:11,942
It hurt, but I did it.
You know why?
227
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:14,249
Because it was cute,
people love it.
228
00:09:14,292 --> 00:09:15,946
But now, it's like
I'm invisible.
229
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:18,340
I might as well be Chico.
- I'm sorry, what?
230
00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:20,951
- Wow, everybody has
so much to talk about today.
231
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:22,344
Kind of wish
we could have discussed
232
00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:23,998
some of this last session
233
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:26,304
when we spent an hour trying
to describe the color green.
234
00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:28,045
- I still say it's bumpy.
235
00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:29,351
- Okay, well,
we're not going back there.
236
00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:31,440
What... what I'd like to do
237
00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:33,094
is make our new member
feel welcome.
238
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,835
Diablo, why don't you jump in
239
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,053
and tell us
a little bit about your...
240
00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:38,186
- Yes, the coyote sightings.
241
00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:40,188
- Oh, is that what
I was gonna talk about?
242
00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:42,146
- Yes.
How's everybody coping?
243
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:43,670
- Elsa, please!
244
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,497
Wait, there's a coyote
in the neighborhood?
245
00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:46,934
- All the raccoons
are talking about it.
246
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,066
- My cousin ran off
with a coyote.
247
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:50,938
Completely blew up her life,
248
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:53,418
and now she lives with him
in the wild.
249
00:09:53,462 --> 00:09:55,507
I don't even think
she knows about my vest.
250
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:58,598
- Ran off into the wild?
Like an animal?
251
00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:00,904
That is so...
252
00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:03,167
Dangerous.
You know what?
253
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:05,213
Let's table the coyote
discussion for now
254
00:10:05,256 --> 00:10:06,606
and let Diablo have the floor
255
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,085
for the remainder
of the session.
256
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:11,219
- Okay, well, um, my humans
are getting a divorce...
257
00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:12,699
- Sorry, I've gotta flag it.
258
00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:14,222
We're out of time.
259
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:15,789
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no.
That... that's fine.
260
00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:18,008
- It's George Clooney!
I live with George Clooney!
261
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:18,966
God, what the hell
is wrong with you?
262
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:26,713
Ow!
263
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:29,933
- I can't believe how rude
they were to Diablo.
264
00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:31,543
They weren't even open
to him at all.
265
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:33,545
- Talk about not being open.
Ow.
266
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,678
- It's time for us all
to move on.
267
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:38,072
- Oh, he's always
liked you better.
268
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:43,207
- Thank God Jill's never
plopped some stupid goldfish
269
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:45,906
in my bowl and expected me
to live happily ever after.
270
00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:47,385
- You've got a lot of anger
271
00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:49,779
packed into that
squishy fish body of yours.
272
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:51,868
I can help you with that.
- Gross.
273
00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:08,668
The coyote.
274
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:12,236
- Wait, all I have to do
275
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,455
is spend the night
276
00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:15,936
in this haunted,
chicken flavored mansion,
277
00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:18,025
and it's all mine?
278
00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:19,504
Okay.
279
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,339
- So you guys know
I'm totes kewl,
280
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,864
but it is three minutes past
the starting time, and we...
281
00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,300
- Yeah, no, I know
what time it is, Elsa.
282
00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:33,736
I can smell.
283
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,869
I was hoping Diablo
was just running late
284
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:38,219
because he got pinned
under a leaf or something,
285
00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:40,177
but it's clear
he's not coming today,
286
00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,832
and I think I know why.
- He sucks!
287
00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:45,922
- No, I think it has more to do
with the way he was treated.
288
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:48,403
- I can't stay silent
any longer!
289
00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:50,753
- The session haven't even
started yet.
290
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:53,277
- I took your advice
and made an overture
291
00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:55,410
towards my potential paramour.
292
00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:57,412
But it turns out, um,
293
00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:59,762
I misinterpreted the situation.
294
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,373
I could get lost in those eyes.
295
00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:04,767
I feel we both want
the same thing,
296
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:08,336
but please let me know
if I'm misreading your signals.
297
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:13,820
Falling for you...
298
00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:18,607
Huh?
299
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,435
- She was a shoe.
300
00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:23,525
- A Croc, to be specific.
301
00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:26,615
I didn't realize
until after we made love.
302
00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:28,008
- That seems late.
303
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:30,010
- You're the ones
who told me to hit that,
304
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:33,317
and I did, hard.
305
00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:35,972
- Well, okay, we didn't exactly
have all the information.
306
00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,018
- Dude, I like this for you.
307
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:41,499
- I've been waiting 15 years
someone to look at me
308
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:44,198
the way I thought that Croc
was looking at me.
309
00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:46,113
- The reminds me of a story
310
00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:49,116
that Leo DiCaps once told me
about a flip-flop.
311
00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:51,335
Miami Film Festival...
- No, N-O!
312
00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:53,424
Every session,
all I do is listen to you,
313
00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:55,862
but do I ever get a turn?
- Feels like she does.
314
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:57,559
- I don't, Tabitha.
315
00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,430
Yes, I heard your very loud
stage whisper.
316
00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:01,781
The way you treated
Diablo last time
317
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:03,783
was not okay.
- Not okay!
318
00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:05,959
- Elsa, not now!
- Not now!
319
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:08,091
- We're supposed to be here
for each other.
320
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:09,832
We were all here for Tabitha
321
00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:12,095
when Stelios dyed her hot pink,
322
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:15,446
for Elsa when her owner
left her at the Fyre Festival,
323
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:17,709
and for Max when he farted
on Dame Judi Dench.
324
00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:21,670
- And we should have
been here for Diablo.
325
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:23,193
He needed us.
326
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:25,848
- Well, the group was
already a little dog heavy.
327
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:29,112
- And we need him
to fill Big Cookie's spot.
328
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:30,940
- With all due respect,
Doctor Honey,
329
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:32,812
we told you we weren't ready
for a new member.
330
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:34,378
- And you ignored us.
331
00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:36,076
- I'm still processing.
332
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,729
- Can we get back to me?
- No!
333
00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:38,948
- Tchotchke's upset!
334
00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:42,473
- I think you were doing
what was for you
335
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:43,866
and not what was best for us.
336
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:47,304
I expect that kind of crap
from my humans and Elsa,
337
00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,176
but not from you.
- Me?
338
00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:51,308
- And Max.
- No, Nibbles is the worst.
339
00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:53,658
- All right, I did it!
I killed them!
340
00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:55,791
I killed them all!
- That's hot.
341
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,575
- So I'm hearing that you all
342
00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:59,360
don't trust my judgment
on this one,
343
00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,275
and if I've lost
everyone's trust,
344
00:14:01,318 --> 00:14:03,755
then I can't help you.
345
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:05,235
You know where
the doggie door is.
346
00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,586
- Kitchen, right?
347
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,240
- Mmm, I won't lie.
348
00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:11,894
The other night was magical,
349
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:14,375
but we both know
that this will never work...
350
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:19,423
I promised myself
I wouldn't cry!
351
00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:22,731
You awakened a part of me...
352
00:14:25,429 --> 00:14:29,259
But it's not fair to you...
So, bye.
353
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,570
- Hey, do you wanna play
354
00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:37,354
"It's-my-ball-no-
it's-my-ball-no-it's-my-ball?"
355
00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:40,401
- Oh, I would love to,
but I am swamped.
356
00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:43,404
There's a bee in this flower.
A real jerk too.
357
00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:45,014
He's all, "Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz."
358
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:47,016
Thinks he's so great.
359
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:49,410
- Okay, well,
just don't get stung.
360
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:51,412
Okay, yeah,
361
00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:52,935
I think I know
a little something
362
00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:55,242
about bees and flowers,
thank you very much.
363
00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:56,939
But hit me up again
about ball later.
364
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:02,510
Can Big Cookie hear us?
365
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,906
- I don't know, sweetheart.
366
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:08,646
- Why don't we just
get a new dog?
367
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:10,953
- We can't move on
until we say goodbye.
368
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:18,352
Oh, I get it now.
369
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,310
- There's been an escalation!
370
00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:25,446
- Get the EpiPen!
371
00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,322
- Well, thank you all for coming
372
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:34,890
to this emergency session.
- It wasn't convenient.
373
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,415
- I want to apologize for
the way things ended last time.
374
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:40,026
You guys were right,
375
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:42,028
I pushed Diablo on you
before you were ready
376
00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:44,639
because I thought
replacing Big Cookie
377
00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:46,989
would be easier
than saying goodbye.
378
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,644
- Would that be considered
denial or bargaining?
379
00:15:49,687 --> 00:15:51,689
I'm just trying to gauge
how many stages of grief
380
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,691
you have left.
I've got places to be.
381
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:56,477
- Ah, thank you
for your sensitivity, Max.
382
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,174
This shouldn't take long.
383
00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:01,656
Um, losing Big Cookie
illuminated some things
384
00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:03,963
in my own life that I need to...
385
00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:09,620
- Express!
386
00:16:09,664 --> 00:16:11,318
And I'm sad
387
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,798
that she's not here
for me to talk to.
388
00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,931
- You can talk to us.
- Or just me.
389
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,367
- I mean, why else are we here?
390
00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:19,500
It's not for the snacks,
'cause I don't see any!
391
00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:21,981
- There will never be snacks.
Just drop it.
392
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,679
Thank you, Tchotchke.
393
00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:27,247
Aw, okay.
394
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,596
Anyone else wanna share?
395
00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:29,814
- I'm good.
396
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:31,642
- I have fully processed
the situation.
397
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:33,775
- "The Fault in Our Stars"
was on last night,
398
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:36,343
so I'm all cried out.
- Really?
399
00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:39,389
- In mourning Big Cookie,
I've learned that life,
400
00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:42,914
no matter how
excruciatingly long, is short.
401
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:45,308
So I'm not going to pass up
a chance for happiness.
402
00:16:45,352 --> 00:16:48,137
I want to make a life
with Lindsay.
403
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:49,356
- Who?
404
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,184
- The Croc.
That's what I named her.
405
00:16:51,227 --> 00:16:53,447
And look, I don't care
if she is a shoe.
406
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:55,492
In fact, maybe it's a plus!
407
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:58,104
As a petroleum-based foam resin,
408
00:16:58,147 --> 00:16:59,757
not only will she never die,
409
00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:01,629
she'll never biodegrade.
410
00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:03,239
Yeah, so thank you, Honey,
411
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:05,285
for steering me
in the right direction.
412
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:07,722
- Shel, I'm not sure I was...
Yeah, you're welcome.
413
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:10,333
- Oh, sorry I'm late, guys.
- Diablo!
414
00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:13,728
- My schedule has been...
14, 15, 16... crazy!
415
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:16,035
So what's up?
416
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:17,993
- Diablo, I want to apologize.
- Diablo, I want to apologize.
417
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,560
- Don't do that.
- Got it.
418
00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:22,563
Diablo, I want to apologize
on behalf of the group.
419
00:17:22,606 --> 00:17:25,783
You didn't get to share
because we failed you.
420
00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:29,265
These sessions are meant
to provide a safe place,
421
00:17:29,309 --> 00:17:31,485
an oasis of calm...
422
00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:32,921
An oasis...
423
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:35,054
An oas... an o...
424
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:36,968
An oasis of calm
so you can feel your feelings!
425
00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:38,709
Drop the stick!
426
00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:40,233
- What?
427
00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,887
- You have to drop the stick
to get through the door.
428
00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:45,542
Oh, okay, got it.
429
00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:50,156
What?
Two sticks?
430
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:52,767
- Anyway, we apologize,
431
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,682
and we understand
432
00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:56,945
why you didn't come
to the session yesterday.
433
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:59,991
- We had a session yesterday?
Oh, I totally spaced.
434
00:18:00,035 --> 00:18:02,211
This new custody arrangement
is so confusing.
435
00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:04,083
- So we didn't hurt
your feelings?
436
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:06,520
- Because we really
didn't want you here.
437
00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:09,131
- Are you kidding?
You guys are my best friends.
438
00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:11,742
- Oh, that's sad.
- Kevin is my best friend.
439
00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:14,136
- Diablo, welcome to the group.
440
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:24,494
- Goodbye, Big Cookie.
441
00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:30,196
- You like to get weird?
442
00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:31,980
- Excuse me?
- You heard me.
443
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:33,373
- Uh, no, thank you.
444
00:18:33,416 --> 00:18:35,853
- Dogs aren't allowed
on the beach after 5:00!
445
00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:37,028
Scram!
446
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:44,862
- It was a real tail-wagger
of a group today.
447
00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:46,560
- Hey, are you gonna
finish your food?
448
00:18:46,603 --> 00:18:48,431
- And it, uh, got me thinking.
449
00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:50,738
Uh, would you ever consider,
450
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:53,175
I don't know, um,
joining the group?
451
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,959
- So you are gonna finish, or...
452
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:56,526
- Yes, I am,
453
00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:59,442
and I mean, we've been
living together a long time,
454
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:01,575
and it might help us, you know,
455
00:19:01,618 --> 00:19:04,186
spice things up, uh,
456
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,057
and, um, connect on a...
457
00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:07,494
- Ooh, I'm gonna go see
if I can connect
458
00:19:07,537 --> 00:19:09,626
with some
of Jill's Lean Cuisine.
459
00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:11,411
- Well, you heard "connect."
That's a win.
460
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:22,248
Oh, well.
461
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,475
- Hey, you!
Get out of here!
462
00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,912
This is my house!
My house!
463
00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:40,570
Yeah!
Did you see that?
464
00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:42,224
I scared the hell out of...
465
00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:45,923
Oh, God, I think I gotta barf.
466
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:47,795
No, I'm okay.
467
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:52,365
Oh, I threw up.
468
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:54,932
I feel better.
469
00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:56,891
Hey, are you okay?
- Yes, thank you.
470
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:59,372
- Aw, no, come on.
Anytime, babe.
471
00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:00,808
- Don't do it.
- What?
472
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,375
No.
What?
473
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:04,507
No, I'm just making sure
the coyote's gone.
474
00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:06,205
Come on.
I'll see you in there.
475
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:10,339
Aw, still warm.
476
00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:26,703
- Jellyfish, jellyfish, ball.
477
00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:28,139
- Wrong!
478
00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:31,534
Ugh, why are mer-dogs so stupid?
479
00:20:31,578 --> 00:20:33,493
- You know, I can help you
with that anger.
480
00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:43,024
- Oh, my...
481
00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:48,508
- Oh, yeah, baby.
482
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:51,424
- Aren't you
a little far from home?
483
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:54,209
- The sea is my home.
- No, it's not.
484
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,646
- Hey, Honey?
- Chief!
485
00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:59,388
- Hey, what's the
bathroom situation down here?
486
00:20:59,432 --> 00:21:01,172
Because I already went.
487
00:21:03,087 --> 00:21:05,394
- You know you're not supposed
to be in my dreams.
488
00:21:05,438 --> 00:21:07,527
- You just made it
sound so cool down here.
489
00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:09,311
Hey, look what I can do.
490
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:11,226
Oh!
491
00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:15,448
Oh, uh-oh.
492
00:21:15,491 --> 00:21:17,711
- Aw, Chief.
493
00:21:17,754 --> 00:21:19,495
- Hey, it's your dream, baby.
494
00:21:23,412 --> 00:21:26,023
Bento.
495
00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:26,894
- That's nice, Jen and Gabby.35923
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