Original subtitles

Oh schooler

I must phone the school

Yes

- How dare you? You dirty old man - Hello? Hello?

Oh blast!

- Hello? - Hello

Who ever you are, you ought to be ashamed of yourself

- It's me Jeremy Brown - What're you doing?

Making obscene phone calls!

- I'm in bed with flu - In bed with who?

- Flu! - Well this is most inconvenience

Typical of the weaker sex

I should expect you to be better by Monday

In the meantime, I supposed I shud've to take your class

Now what is the meaning of this?

It's to improve our English

We learn Old English dances

We are learning to be twisters

The truck like foxes and to mash the potatoes

Yes, also we learn English phrases like a

"Do you come here often?"

and a "Who is taking you home tonight?"

There are more useful English phrases to learn than those

Now, can you kindly tidy up this mess and sit down at once all of you!

Hurry!

I have to tell you that Mr. Brown will not be with us tonight

I hear that he has a virus

Or is that his girlfriend?

He has the flu he has laid up in bed

Excuse please, How can he be laid up in bed?

Surely you are meaning, he's laid down

The term to be laid up means the same as being stuck down.

Bala-yammu! What are language

There is nothing wrong with the English language

It is the most widely spoken language in the world

Does anyone know the origin of the English language?

Well come along, where did English come from?

England!

Not quite, the early Britians were Celtic

- From Glasgow! - I beg your pordon?

There's Glasgow Rangers, Glasgow Celtic. Football

I was not referring to football, I was talking about the race

No no no, it's not-a race, its-a football! I see them play in Milano in the cup

I don't count what it mean.

And if I have any more of your stupid remarks, I should send you out of the class

The Calts were a race of people

Then came the Goids

You see I was right! You have a goal in football

Alright Mr. Cupello, I did warn you. Kindly leave the class

- Where do I go to? - Well, I suggest that you go home and study your books

Now, where was I?

- You were standing there and you are still standing there. - Silence!

Now take heed because I shall not tell you again

Anyone who persist in utterly idiotic nonsense will be sent home

Now!

The Romans invaded Britain in 43 A.D. Can anyone tell me what A.D means?

After Dark

Right, Mr. Nadim. Come along off you go!

- What am I going for? - Don't argue, just go!

- Excuse please - Out! Do continue.

A.D. means Anno Domini

Which refers to time since the birth of our lord

The time before he's

Birth which refer to B.C. Does anyone know what B.C. means?

Before Christmas

Okay I go

The Romans were supplanted by the Angles,

Saxons and Jutes.

Who broght with them a new language

Excuse please

- I thought I told you to go? - Yes, I go but I come back

You're wanting on the telephone, Mr. Brownies wishing to speak with you

- Oh very well. - Excuse please.

No!

- Anna - Ya?

You will take charge of the class in my absence. I should not be long.

And don't stand for any nonsense

Do not worry, I should be standing for nothing,

I shall be seating down.

Hello?

Oh hello, Mr. Courtney. I just wanted to tell you that,

I got all the students homework here. Perhaps you could send someone

around to collect it.

We do not have a messenger service

Mr. Brown

Are you sure you are too ill to come in?

I still feel pretty groggy, I mean. Besides, I won't like you to catch my cold.

- I never catch cold! - I aspect the germs freeze to death instantly.

- What was that? - Oh nothing. Now, look I better hang up.

If you want the homework it... its... here...

And where is everybody?

They giving me stupid answers

So I sent them all home

Go away

I don't hear nothing

Me too

Maybe he's sleeping

Why don't we throw around the back door

Back door more better

- Hello? Anybody there? - Yes, please

- Oh it's you - Yes it is me

- You rang the bell a minute ago? - No, I'm only just arriving

Somebody rang the bell

- There's nobody here - This bed's still warm

Why the door open?

Oh no good

You're right Jamila, somebody can come in and steal something

- What's that? - What is what?

There was a noise, there's somebody in there

- They've locked the door - Oh blimey,

I think you're getting a broken house

- Burglers? - Yes please.

I think they are banging on your bell to see if you are inside

- And now they're breaking in - You know you could be right

- What's the matter? - I hear something

Good lord!

Its very logic. I think I am being house broken, that was a very evil eye I saw

- It's a big evil eye - Move up away

I open the door

Standby, I gonna break the door down

What have you done to Mr. Brown?

- You dumb fools - How we know thats Mr. Brown?

That's Mr. Brown!

- Oh Mr. Brown are you alright? - Yes just fine, a part of touch concussion

and raging fever, I'm terrific!

Thank goodness. We thought you had flu!

What are you all doing here? Why aren't you at school?

Well, we finished early, so we thought we come and give you a visit

- Oh, that's very kind of you - And we bring you a big bunch of gripes

Oh, thank you

- We eat one or two on the way - It's the thought that counts

- You must get in bed immediate more - Yes, I'm starting to feel cold again

Master Ji, I have knits small gift for you

Thank you Jamila

- You try - Very kind of you. Yes.

- Oh, little big - Yeah, well it'll keep me warm

Oh blimey, it will not be needing to wear any gloves

Well, perhaps it will shrink

Come Mr. Brown, I must have you in bed

Pardon? Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah.

Let me tuck you in

- This one better? -Yes, I'm starting to feel warm all over now

- Jamila and I will make you some hot milk - Hot milk most good for vorms

- Worms? I haven't got worms - Not vorms, VORMS!

- Do you mean colds? - ah colds

Well I must say it's very good of you all to come and visit me.

Take a chair each

Jelly good

- Where do you wish us to take chair? - I don't want you to take them anywhere

just... just sit down them over here

Mr. Brown, I have something here

- to make you feel much better. - Well its very good of you Ali,

but I don't want anymore medicine

But it is jelly good for your chest

Are you sure?

Oh blimey, yes!

Oh, lets have a look then

Smells awful

I'm telling you its guaranteed to kill or cure

I'm not sure I like the first alternative. Well here goes.

It's fouled!

Oh deary me, I'm thinking you should not have been drinking that medicine

You said it, it could cure my chest

Yes, but it's supposed to be rubbing it on.

You poisoned me!

I ring the doctor

It's more important we ring the priest

- Priest? - What for?

You might be dead before the doctor comes

Oh great, you might as well go all the way and send for the undertaker

Ok, what's his address?

Excuse please, he's not being poisoned

This medicine also very good for your stomach

It makes you get up and go. Just like prunes

Ah that's all I need!

Mr. Brown, I've spilt all ze milk all over my dress now it could be ruined

You haven't spilt the whole pine have you? That is for today and tomorrow

- Thank you very much! - You better and go sponge it off in the bathroom

- Are you alright?

- You have gone a funny colour - I think it was something I just drank

- Shall I give you the kiss of life? - Yes, No! No! You'll catch my cold

- You can give me the kiss of life please - Me too

- So you like the kissing, yes? - Oh yes

Yes please

Oh good

I shall give both of you the most beautiful french kiss

I wonder who's going to be first?

Close your eyes

Excuse Mr. Brown

- Is there anything else you are wishing us to do? - Yes just go home

You don't want us to stay?

No... no, appreciate your calling...

but it's just that I would recover much quicker if I were left alone

Okay

We go to the pub

We help you much better soon Mr. Brown.

- Come on Ali - Kali-nista

Good evening

Good night

Master Ji

Pillow

- Hot bottle - Thank you Jamila

See who that is, would you?

What are you doing here?

- I warm bed for Master Ji - I... beg your pordon?

It's alright Ms. Courtney she means, she was just warming a hot bottle for me

Mr. Brown it is highly improper for this young lady to be here alone with a man

Well I can assure you Ms. Courtney, that nothing improper is taking place

Mr. Brown, where can I hang my dress?

- Good night Mr. Brown, Sir - Good evening Ranjeet, what do you want?

I'm coming here to be making you over the weather

Over the weather?

Yes, because I'm hearing you are under the weather

- Better come in and sit down - Are we going to be sitting down together?

No.. no, I still don't feel to well

- I think bed is the best place - Whatever you say

- I didn't mean the two of us! - Thousand apologies

Oh, see who that is Ramjeet

- Ah Juan, please come in - I come to see how Mr. Brown is

You okay?

Terrible

Nevermind

I come to cheer you up

Oh good, I could do a cheering up

I think...a

You not look very well

I think he look a... very white

He is white!

But a... he look more white than before

I think you have

What we call is "rea"

The three day reaper

I don't like the sound of that

Only last 3 days

On the first day...

fever like you have...

on the second day...

white as you are...

- and on the third day... - You get better?

You die!

Finito! Finito!

- Thanks for coming to cheer me up - Soright!

I bring you something

Don't tell me it's some Spanish medicine recommended for rubbing on

- chest - no medisina

- Fundador! - Funn-dador?

Si. Spanish brandy. Momento.

It's-a good taste

- Quite strong! - Kill all germs

- Not household germs? - Any germs

I might say, its warming me up already

- Can I have some more? - Sure, sure

I go

- Ah, Taro - Ah so

Come in, sit down have a drink

- Ranjeet - Yes please, Mr. Brown?

I need some glasses

Are your eyes bad as well?

- I mean glasses to drink for - Thousand apologies

Alright, it's all on the side door, bring three

- May I'm a...? - Sure

- Here you are Mr. Brown - Thank you

- One for Taro - Thank you

- One for Ranjeet - You are most kind

And one for Juan

- Bottoms up - What is bottoms up?

Oh, it's em... an English phrase use when having a drink

I am thinking it is not easy to be drinking it bottom up

No Ranjeet, it refers to the glass, the bottom of the glass

Tip it up

Ah Si, as you say 'up the hatch'

- Down! - Si, down the hatch

Now I'm understanding

I am also knowing, another saying...

'Round the tip, and through the gums'

'Look out dummy, here it comes'

Very good, mind if I have another...

Ah... look you finish the bottle. I was just beginning to enjoy myself

I have brought...

genuine Japanese. Look a...

- Saki! - Oh, Saki. Yes, I've heard of that

It's what those Geisha girls give you, isn't it?

Geisha girls give you much more

Yes, I understand

Eh Taro, is it true,

that the Geisha girl...

they give you the bath, on the nothingness eh?

Yes!

In Japan. Man has cold

You go, see Geisha

What happens?

Geisha prepare...

hot bath

Then...

wash man-o...

all over.

I surely think that will sent your tempreture up

After.... men bed-o...

Geisha walk in...

with a...

perfume-o oils-a

- And is that cool or cold? - No, no, it makes it...

much nicer

Ranjeet, look if anybo... lift the cat unlocked

if anybody comes, they can walk straight in

- Good evening, Mr. Brown - Siu Lee and Anna

We bring you somethings to make you well

Ah well, that's very kind of you, but actually I'm feeling alot better

These will clear your head instant. Take!

Yeah well, I tried everything else I'm sure a couple more pills

- won't... won't make any difference - Now we need some hot water

No, it's alright, I take it with this Saki

Huh? What for you do that?

You said that clear my head

You are supposed to put them in the hot water and breath in the fumes

Argh... I don't feel well

What about you Siu Lee, have you brought some Chinese medicine for me?

Oh this is not medicine

It is very ancient Chinese treatment

Is it anything like the Geisha girls?

Oh, much better

- Oh, wow! In that case - First you must strip

Yeah? alright.

Only to waist

- Now lay down on stomach - Oh like this?

Yes

- I'm ready - Very good

- Oh blimey! - What's the matter?

Nothing, nothing, nothing whatsoever

Oh, that's lovely, can you do the other side as well?

What are you doing?!

I've heard of kill or cure, but that is ridiculous... what are you doing?

Accupunture very old Chinese custom

I got it from honourable ancestor

Yeah, well honourable ancestors, can jolly have it back

We coming back!

We've all each of us, bring you something to cheer you up

- Jamaica Ram - French Wine

Greek ouzo

Italian grapher, eh, you taste of that

You said it was an accident

Ha... ha accident

Daniel spilled milk

- on her dress - Ah, I see

It appears that for once I have misjudged

Mr. Brown

Well I suppose I had better call in and apologise on my way home

- Mr. Potato - Who wants another drink?

It's all gone

Hey everybody, it's the Kroger

Mr. Brown?

- Hello Ms. Courtney - This is disgraceful!

No please, this is condo

Silence! I suggest you all leave immediately

Oh, thank you all for visiting me

As for you Mr. Brown, words failed

Oh, come on Ms. Courtney, they're only coming here to cheer me up a bit

I warned you Mr. Brown, if this sort of thing ever occurs again

in the future, you are out!

- Wh.. what - Mr. Brown!