Original subtitles

(upbeat music)

(birds chirping)

(camera clicking)

- Don't slash

- I had scoliosis in year eight.

Don't shame me.

- [Director] Maybe try a thumbs up.

- So have you settled on a headline?

I was thinking, and I'm just riffing here.

A legend gives back.

- How about hot buns, hotter ass.

(Camerawoman laughing)

- Okay, I think we're good for this shot.

I'll just check.

- Yeah.

- We gotta get these two out of here before Jim sees them.

A double homicide is bad PR.

- I'm sure you'd find a way to spin it.

- I should have waited until we could access the new space.

- What space?

- I found a space.

- Oh, cool.

Where is it?

- Well, the partners are yet to make any formal decisions.

- Its just down the road, (indistinct).

We open in a month.

You'll love it, trust me.

- [Director] Okay, well look,

the insert shot looks great.

We just need a portrait of dye

for the main image and we're done.

- Okay, when you say main image, you?

- [Director] Well, we need an image of dye

that speaks your quote,

where you call her

Australia's most exciting new culinary voice.

- Yeah, okay.

Um, I think you might find

that I also mentioned that

I'm a Michelin Star chef returning to his hometown.

- Oh, I don't think our readers

are too concerned with stars,

but they'll be dropped in there somewhere.

- This rags food writer.

- Food in fashion.

- And you wanna play down the return

of one of the most renowned chefs

this country's ever produced?

- Well, after what happened in Shanghai.

- You mentioned that in this article

I will ram that camera so far up your.

- It's called Diana.

The restaurant is called Diana

Eastern named it.

Chef stepping out of the limelight.

Championing new female voices.

- Yes.

Yes, this partnership with Diana is a way for me.

Fuck off.

- I'm sorry?

- Don't write that, I'll be back in a second.

Put the gun away, you fucking lunatic.

- All right, lets do this.

- [Jim] Don't you come here mate.

Don't you come here.

- [Eastern] Don't fucking, get out of here.

- [Jim] I'll do whatever I please where I like.

(camera clicks)

- [Eastern] Yeah, look.

There's a rabbit over there.

Go, go, rabbit.

(camera clicks)

(rock music)

- [Eastern] Having a truly world class chef

in the neighborhood would really help

put your radar on the map.

- We've already got people like Benza

putting us on the map.

- [Eastern] Yeah, well I'm talking the world map,

not the local street directory.

Now our industry needs revitalizing.

Imagine what someone like me

could do with a space like this.

- Yeah, well I've outgrown this space,

but I am looking for a long term tenant.

What's your vision for this space?

Diana, says here you are quite the wunderkind.

- Oh.

(Diana chuckles)

I don't know, I don't refer to myself as a wunderkind.

I'm not that arrogant, that's more his style,

but yeah, my vision.

I guess family really is the key.

Like I use my grandma Junes recipes as inspo,

which are the same ones that Easton grew up with.

- Yeah, well when I.

- So my vision really is like about

like super personal, super-now food porn.

Think like pastry Queen Christina Tosi

banging barbecue king first and then like.

- Yeah,

Obviously, this is all the context

of a fine dining establishment.

What I'm suggesting is us partnering up.

You provide the space, we provide the talent,

and we can negotiate profit share.

- You want free rent?

- Oh no, what I want is an investor with

the smarts and the brains

to see what a no brainer this is.

I mean, Diana's gonna be the next big thing.

- I'm working on the vines tomorrow

and we stop for lunch at one.

Bring a dessert.

- Done.

- And your business plan.

- Thanks for your time, Mr. Plus.

- It's Margo.

- Why do I feel like I've just been to see the headmistress?

- Yeah, headmistress you wanna get spanked by I bet.

You naughty boy.

- Don't fuck this up.

- Please, Miss,

I've been a naughty boy.

Spank me.

- Just grow up.

- [Diana] Margo is going to cream her jocks over this.

- So what are you gonna call it?

- Grandma Junes Moon Shines Over The Black Forest.

- Oh, pretentious.

- I know, right?

- Oh, wow.

- Oh yeah, The Moon Shines is Pop's actual moon shine.

Nasty on its own, magic in my pud.

- Diana, if we don't get baking by tomorrow

we'll be selling bags of self raising flour

and instruction manuals.

- It's just a quick lunch meet.

You keep going, and when I get back,

we'll just smash out the rest, yeah?

- Fine, but I'm supposed to be done at four so I have to.

Crap.

Does my breath smell of booze?

(Diana laughing)

- You had one spoonful, dude.

- Diana, when were you planning on telling me about this?

- The internet?

- This.

- Oh.

- What on earth are you thinking?

You told a newspaper before asking me,

and with my brother.

- I don't really need to ask your permish, mom.

Yeah, and Eastern's a changed man.

He's turning over a new leaf.

- I'm a changed man, westers.

I'm turning over a new leaf, et cetera,

et cetera.

(Denise laughing)

Did he seriously say the word et cetera out loud?

- See, this is why I didn't tell you.

Brett, I need that for today.

- Diana he is using you.

- Nobody wanted my body positive ass ballooning

out of their morning paper before he came along, mom.

- As long as you are living in this house,

you will not be associating with that man.

- Is that a threat?

- Yes.

- No.

No, it's just parenting.

- I've gotta go.

- No, Diana.

(feet tapping)

(car key jingle)

(Diana huffs)

(car key jingle)

- Mom, wait.

I need the car.

Wait, wait.

Oh, come on.

Mom, this isn't fair.

- Sorry.

(car door beeping)

- Mom, I have a business meeting.

(orchestral music)

Mom.

Mom.

Brett?

(Diana groans)

At least Eastern can make his own pasta sauce, you freak.

- Maybe we just get back to work then?

- Please lend me your drive.

(bike chains jingle)

(Diana breathing deeply)

(orchestral music continues)

Oh, no.

I'm coming.

I'm coming.

- [Eastern] Glad to see you dressed up for it.

Where's your car?

- Its mom's car and she's not happy

about the article,

us.

- She was born unhappy.

- Well, she threatened to kick me out.

- My first night in London, I slept under a bridge.

It's character building.

- That does explain your character.

- Don't touch that stuff.

Its organized.

- How exactly?

From pretty useless to completely fucking useless?

- What are you looking for?

Keys to my yurt,

unless you're gonna ding me on your handle buss.

(TV talks)

- Can you just apologize?

- I'm sorry, I had the keys the whole time.

- To mom, you dingus.

Otherwise, shes not gonna let me do the restaurant with you.

- Apologize to Denise, for what?

- For whatever it is you did to mess her up.

I don't know it can be a fake apology.

You're good at those.

- I'm not the one who owes her an apology.

He's the one who raised her on a burial ground.

He's the one who turned her into a nut job, not me.

- What do you mean burial ground?

(ominous music)

What do you mean burial ground?

(bushes rustle)

No.

No, he did not.

- The final resting place of your grandma June.

Romantic, huh?

And after that, Jim checked out a fatherhood

to drink and race greyhounds.

I cooked for Denise, I took her to school.

So what part of that should I apologize for?

- Eish, Pops.

It's eccentric and then there's illegal.

- You really want this restaurant?

- Of course.

- Then be prepared to sacrifice anything

to achieve that dream.

Friends, phones,

parkour, whatever dumb fuck shit you kids

are obsessed with these days.

It's gone.

- That dumb fuck shit is my mom, dude.

- What'd you make?

- Black Forest Moon Shine Cake

that'll kick your square in the nuts.

But can we please just.

Wait, Eastern I need to put deodorant on.

I smell like backyard grave.

- You're a mess I'm better off on my own.

Just, you stay here and try

and grow a pair before I get back.

- Eastern, we're partners!

I have a pair, you fuck knuckle.

They're just all up inside me.

Sorry, gran.

(upbeat drum music)

(ominous music)

- Quite a spy.

- Hello, where's your niece?

Diana wanted to let her work speak for itself.

- Right, come on then.

It's lunch folks.

(wine cork pops)

(indistinct chatter)

- I foraged in these hills as a kid,

and hunted and fished.

Grew up and stuff.

Can taste the earth and the food around here.

- There's plenty of mushrooms around at the moment actually.

There's pine, lawyers rig,

magic.

I'd suggest we go get some

but your shoes seem so perfectly shiny.

- Hand made Italian leather.

My one vice.

(indistinct chatter continues)

Wow.

That's got some bite.

- Our wines are 100% natural.

No pesticides, no preservatives.

Just the taste of grape.

- One of those.

- What does that mean?

- Nothing, nothing.

- So what brings you home, Eastern West,

celebrity chef?

- I'm here to support my niece.

- God, I hope your food's easier

to swallow than your bullshit.

(phone ringing)

- [Eastern] Eastern west, you know what to do.

(Diana groans)

(lively ukulele music)

(tomatoes squish)

- Homemade pasta sauce?

- Yeah.

- Uh, you know if you just pierce the tomato

and drop it in boiling water the skin comes right off.

- Oh no, I'm doing it the proper way.

No, honey,

that sounds like cheating.

- It's not though.

(water bubbling)

(Denise sighs)

Only takes a minute.

- Just don't tell anyone that I took a shortcut.

- Your secrets safe with me.

What kind of pastry were you gonna make?

- Napolitana.

- No, I mean like what kind of pasta?

Fettuccine?

Penne?

- I haven't decided yet.

(phone chimes)

Guess she's not coming back after all.

- Oh, she has my bike.

- I can give you a lift.

I'm going to the shops anyway.

I need to get yeast.

- For the pasta?

- Oh.

(Margo groans)

- She's good, right?

- Why isn't she here again?

- I just thought we should talk.

Just the grownups.

Diana's talented.

She's a West,

but she got a lot to learn about what it takes.

The sacrifice, the commitment,

the ethics of the business.

(Margo laughing)

- You're gonna teach her about ethics?

- I'm a man of many talents.

- [Worker] This dessert is amazing.

- So, this is where all the magic happens.

Hey?

- Yep.

All my sins happen right here.

- Look, I know people think I'm a loose cannon or whatever,

but you know what I can do in the kitchen

and you've tasted Diana's talent, so.

Yeah, we could.

(metal door bangs)

- Take your pants off.

Don't be scared.

I'll show you mine.

Unless you're too shy?

- No.

No, I'm good.

(glass clinking)

- What the freaking shit happened here?

- Pop, are you okay?

- What are you done?

- Come on, ya' old basket.

It's just junk.

We are having a family roast.

I figure, you know,

if Eastern's gonna leave me here

I'm gonna get this family talking to each other again.

So we can cook grandma Junes recipes and.

- You're not touching another damn thing in this house.

This is my fucking house.

And I like it exactly the way it presently fucking is.

- Pop, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize.

(phone chimes)

A bunch of psychos, all of you.

- [Jim] And don't touch my fucking pigeons.

(door shuts)

- So, we just seal the deal.

- Wow, you're a real poet,

aren't you?

Hit the spot.

Not sure I'd seal the deal.

- Huh, but what did we just do then?

I mean, I know what it was,

done it before but.

(Margo laughs)

Where you going?

Just wait, we need to talk about the space.

Look, you've tried Diana's cake.

People are lapping up the story.

I came all the way out here.

- Alone.

That cake can't speak for Diana, neither can you.

- She's 19 years old.

What are you gonna talk about?

Selfies and neon hair extensions?

- Do you have any capital, any cash reserves?

Where's the business plan I asked for?

- I am the business plan.

I'm Eastern fucking West.

- And what's Eastern West gonna do in a months time

when he can't pay his vendors and this all falls apart?

You know, old white guys

don't get too many second chances these days.

I'm sorry, Eastern.

I can't help you.

No pay, no play.

(Eastern breathing deeply)

Staff, you're just like the rest of them.

- What?

- You think you're the only woman

who wants to fuck up famous chef?

It's a cliche to fuck me.

It's a good cliche 'cause it means I get fucked a lot.

(Margo laughing)

- Tell Diana I loved her cake.

- Oh, good you're still here.

- Ow, watch it.

- You cleaned up.

Sort of.

Haven't seen the place this clean, since.

- I thought it might be nice to have a family roast,

you know, clear the air.

Seeing as every one of you is an emotional dumpster fire.

We can't actually do that.

- Well you'll be pleased to know

you didn't miss out on much.

That woman is not someone we'll be doing business with.

- I knew you'd fuck it up.

- I didn't fuck it up.

She's a whack job.

She makes natural wine taste

like titty and sheep's piss.

- This was never gonna work, was it?

(metals clashing)

(ominous music)

- Diana?

(ominous music continues)

(Denise breathing deeply)

- Fuck.

(Brett laughing)

- Oh Melissa, my Brett Frazer listener, hey baby

Look at that.

- Very good, Brett.

Very Italian.

Very authentic.

- I can give you a few lessons if you're lucky.

- Everyone can make pasta.

Children can make pasta.

Six year olds can make pasta.

There's probably a Labrador on YouTube hand making yoki.

(phone ringing)

- Oh, Diana doesn't care if you can make pasta or not.

- Can you just.

Yes, sorry,

yes?

- [Eastern] It's me.

- What do you want?

- [Eastern] You have to come over for dinner.

I'm sorry, okay,

for just turning up the other night.

- Brett and I are making fettuccine napolitana, sorry.

- [Eastern] Oh, come on, Denise.

You probably don't even know how to skin a tomato.

- Pierce the skin and drop it in boiling water.

Goodbye.

(phone clicking)

- If you don't go, you're gonna lead her right to him.

Just saying.

(upbeat ominous music)

(knife chopping)

(oil sizzling)

(upbeat ominous music continues)

(knife chopping)

(upbeat drum music)

- Yeah, real nice up here, Jim.

- See you let them clean the kitchen down.

- Didn't have any bloody choice, did I?

- Just like mum used to have it, hey sis.

(metal pot clanks)

- Oh, something smells nice.

- Madam?

- Oh yes, please.

- Has he been cooking like this every day for you, dad?

Least you can do for a free room.

- It's my room.

- It was our room.

- Why can't he live with you a lot?

- No, he's not my responsibility.

- He's your stinking brother.

- He's your stinking son.

- Ahem, hi.

So we have Easterns recreation

of grandma June's Coq au vin with a pigeon twist.

Thanks Pop.

Paired with a pair vinaigrette salad.

And I have a very special dessert for you West kids,

coming right up.

Don't just sit there like a bunch of frigid bitches,

chow down fam.

(Brett chuckles)

Oh, that's good.

(ominous tone begins)

Grandma Junes lemon tart with a Diana West bourbon glaze

to kick you up your cootch.

(Brett laughing)

- Oh, I wanna kick my cootch.

(glass plates clinking)

- It's delicious, Diana.

(glass clinking)

- So I know Easton coming home

has been a surprise for us all.

And I should have told you before we did that article.

Sorry.

But like it or not,

we're stuck with each other until we're dead.

So, we better just deal with it.

- I'm pretty sure that Easton is stuck here

because he got extradited by the Chinese government.

- Just trying to help your daughter.

- Help, exploit,

et cetera, et cetera.

- And I know grandma June's death still hurts,

for all of you.

I mean, Pops still sleep with her buried outside his window,

which is a bit hectic.

No judgment.

So what if

this restaurant was a way

to honor her memory?

Celebrate her?

Easton and I were thinking if Pop will have us,

that we could have the restaurant here,

in this house.

It would be the ultimate family story

and a story that we're all a part of.

And we could call it June.

- So you gonna steal my daughter

and you're gonna make a buck

out of our families tragic past?

Wow, you really are a piece.

- Jesus, I'm not stealing anyone.

(Jim shouting)

- I'm loving June's tart.

- Don't blame Eastern, mum.

These are my ideas.

- That's what those Manson girls thought

before they murdered those people.

- All right, now I'm Charles Manson.

- I can think for myself, I am an adult.

- No, you are naive,

ridiculous, deluded child.

Diana, as long as you are living under my roof.

- You know what, keep your roof.

Okay?

'Cause this diluted child is just gonna live here

with her business partner.

- You can't trust him.

- What is your problem?

He told me everything.

What happened after grandma died,

he told me that he took care of you and he fed you.

- And then he left.

- I thought the food tonight was excellent.

(chair scrapes)

(footsteps pat)

- You are not using this house and calling it June.

Do you know how insulting, how ridiculous that is?

- She was my mom too.

You don't get to own being sad just

because you stayed here and got pickled in despair,

like an emotionally stunted cornichons.

Poor woman's probably rolling

in her grave out there listening to all this.

- Ah.

You really still think that she's buried out

in the backyard, don't you?

Well, this is awkward.

(Denise laughing)

- What's she talking about?

Where's she going?

(metal cranking)

- Your little family story is a lie.

Just like everything else about you, Easton West.

God, that name.

It'll take you all of four minutes to come up with that.

Brett, we're going.

- [Brett] Yep.

- And once you're done, you just keep on digging

and take yourself back to China.

(shoes clacking)

(ominous music)

(door slams)

(crickets chirping)

(Easton breathes deeply)

- I'm sorry, sorry mum.

Sorry, mum.

I'm sorry.

(breathing heavily)

Dad.

(wolf howls)

(upbeat music)