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1
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- Action.
- Design.
2
00:00:34,878 --> 00:00:37,337
♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪
3
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:41,275
♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪
4
00:00:48,054 --> 00:00:51,199
♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪
5
00:00:51,223 --> 00:00:54,517
♪ It's the best time
of the year ♪
6
00:00:55,518 --> 00:00:59,038
♪ I don't know
if there'll be snow ♪
7
00:00:59,062 --> 00:01:01,708
♪ But have a cup of cheer ♪
8
00:01:01,732 --> 00:01:05,002
♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪
9
00:01:05,026 --> 00:01:07,819
♪ And when you walk
down the street... ♪
10
00:01:09,654 --> 00:01:11,923
Another one?
11
00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:15,927
Well, I'm still vertical,
so I'd like to change that.
12
00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:19,179
♪ Oh, ho, the mistletoe ♪
13
00:01:19,203 --> 00:01:21,872
♪ Hung where you can see ♪
14
00:01:22,706 --> 00:01:24,934
♪ Somebody waits for you... ♪
15
00:01:24,958 --> 00:01:27,185
Ho, ho.
16
00:01:28,711 --> 00:01:30,962
Bitter. Pint.
17
00:01:31,963 --> 00:01:33,733
You just get off?
18
00:01:33,757 --> 00:01:36,359
♪ And in case you didn't hear ♪
19
00:01:36,383 --> 00:01:38,819
♪ Oh, by golly,
have a holly... ♪
20
00:01:38,843 --> 00:01:40,738
I'm taking a break.
21
00:01:40,762 --> 00:01:42,906
Between shifts,
I guess you could say.
22
00:01:42,930 --> 00:01:44,490
- Hmm.
- You ain't driving, are you?
23
00:01:44,514 --> 00:01:47,534
I steer a little, but the
reindeer do most of the work.
24
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,871
Mm-hmm.
25
00:01:51,895 --> 00:01:54,081
This is my, uh,
fourth year as a Santa.
26
00:01:54,105 --> 00:01:55,374
Ah.
27
00:01:55,398 --> 00:01:56,625
How about you?
28
00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:58,710
Lost count.
29
00:01:58,734 --> 00:02:01,879
I forget why I started doing it
in the first place.
30
00:02:01,903 --> 00:02:05,173
Same reason anybody
does anything.
31
00:02:05,197 --> 00:02:06,966
The money.
32
00:02:06,990 --> 00:02:09,635
Money. Money.
33
00:02:09,659 --> 00:02:11,637
This whole planet runs on greed.
34
00:02:16,331 --> 00:02:18,767
It's the look on
the kiddies' faces, innit?
35
00:02:18,791 --> 00:02:20,393
That's what does it for me.
36
00:02:20,417 --> 00:02:24,063
Ah, the look. Yeah, that look.
37
00:02:24,087 --> 00:02:26,273
Lasts about two seconds.
38
00:02:26,297 --> 00:02:28,691
As soon as they're finished
unwrapping,
39
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,152
they want the next present,
40
00:02:31,176 --> 00:02:33,904
they want the next cool thing.
41
00:02:33,928 --> 00:02:35,905
That's how this world works.
42
00:02:35,929 --> 00:02:37,949
And kids...
What kids have become.
43
00:02:37,973 --> 00:02:42,118
They're just like
little junkies.
44
00:02:42,142 --> 00:02:44,787
They're little shits.
They just demand.
45
00:02:44,811 --> 00:02:46,330
They don't believe.
46
00:02:46,354 --> 00:02:50,041
They just want, crave, consume.
47
00:02:55,069 --> 00:02:57,547
Maybe this is my last year.
48
00:02:59,656 --> 00:03:01,825
The last Christmas.
49
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:08,889
Well, I can't stand seeing
another Santa in distress.
50
00:03:10,081 --> 00:03:11,683
Put his drinks on my tab.
51
00:03:11,707 --> 00:03:13,142
- Okay?
- Yeah.
52
00:03:13,166 --> 00:03:15,769
Oh, very merry of you. Okay.
53
00:03:15,793 --> 00:03:18,188
I better get going.
54
00:03:18,212 --> 00:03:20,398
Presents aren't gonna
deliver themselves.
55
00:03:21,589 --> 00:03:23,442
Oh, uh...
56
00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:25,318
For your grandson.
Save me a trip.
57
00:03:25,342 --> 00:03:27,362
It's, uh, that new video game.
58
00:03:27,386 --> 00:03:30,072
It's Astro Blaster,
Blaster Astro.
59
00:03:30,096 --> 00:03:32,074
I-I don't know.
60
00:03:32,098 --> 00:03:33,449
Merry Christmas.
61
00:03:33,473 --> 00:03:35,952
How'd he know
my grandson's name?
62
00:03:35,976 --> 00:03:39,162
How'd he know I have
a grandson? -
63
00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:43,457
Oi! That door leads to the roof.
64
00:03:43,481 --> 00:03:44,792
Piss head.
65
00:03:44,816 --> 00:03:47,359
Go easy on him. It's Christmas.
66
00:03:49,528 --> 00:03:52,881
Hey! You can't be up here.
67
00:03:52,905 --> 00:03:56,551
If you break your neck,
I'm the one...
68
00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:18,842
My God.
69
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,657
It's...
70
00:04:27,724 --> 00:04:29,184
beauti...
71
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,198
Hi. Hi, hi, hi.
72
00:05:18,222 --> 00:05:20,556
There she is. Hello, muffin.
73
00:05:21,599 --> 00:05:23,892
Let's go see Grandma.
74
00:05:25,644 --> 00:05:27,038
Ooh.
75
00:05:27,062 --> 00:05:29,313
Merry Christmas.
76
00:05:31,649 --> 00:05:33,209
Merry Christmas, Trudy.
77
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:34,293
Merry...
78
00:05:34,317 --> 00:05:36,045
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!
79
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:39,464
Merry Christmas, Daddy,
ya filthy animal.
80
00:05:40,906 --> 00:05:43,050
She got to stay up late
and watch Home Alone.
81
00:05:43,074 --> 00:05:44,134
Uh-huh.
82
00:05:44,158 --> 00:05:47,053
It was so funny.
83
00:05:47,077 --> 00:05:49,514
- Yep.
- That... that hurts.
84
00:05:49,538 --> 00:05:51,056
- All morning.
- Okay, um...
85
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,124
Thank you.
86
00:05:54,041 --> 00:05:56,018
For doing this.
87
00:05:56,042 --> 00:05:58,253
I'm not doing it for you.
88
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,023
- It's Christmas!
- Yeah!
89
00:06:21,270 --> 00:06:22,914
Merry Christmas, Al.
90
00:06:22,938 --> 00:06:24,749
Hi, Linda. Merry Christmas.
91
00:06:24,773 --> 00:06:26,792
- Mr. Lightstone.
- Hey, Al.
92
00:06:26,816 --> 00:06:28,168
Hey, you back there, Tru?
93
00:06:28,192 --> 00:06:29,919
Yeah, I bet you're excited
for Christmas.
94
00:06:29,943 --> 00:06:31,629
What did you ask Santa for?
95
00:06:31,653 --> 00:06:33,381
Not to work on Christmas Eve.
96
00:06:33,405 --> 00:06:34,965
Must've been naughty this year,
97
00:06:34,989 --> 00:06:36,591
- 'cause here I am.
- Mm-hmm.
98
00:06:36,615 --> 00:06:38,592
Just make sure you let Santa
through the gates later, Al.
99
00:06:38,616 --> 00:06:40,136
- Yeah.
- Have a merry one, now.
100
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,138
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, Al.
101
00:06:42,162 --> 00:06:44,180
Merry Christmas, Tru.
102
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,723
- Thank you, Al.
- Yeah.
103
00:07:08,557 --> 00:07:11,309
I can't remember
where the second one is.
104
00:07:14,352 --> 00:07:16,455
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
105
00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:18,206
Merry Christmas.
106
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,292
Hope you're on the nice list.
107
00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:23,043
That doesn't go over there.
108
00:07:30,824 --> 00:07:32,426
Excuse me.
109
00:07:36,661 --> 00:07:38,472
What the hell is this?
110
00:07:38,496 --> 00:07:40,849
You are the worst
catering company on the planet.
111
00:07:40,873 --> 00:07:42,851
It's lengthwise, not width.
112
00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:44,727
Unbelievable.
113
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,324
Okay.
114
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:04,534
Hi. Hi, guys. Merry Christmas.
115
00:08:04,558 --> 00:08:06,494
- Hi.
- I'm fine. Thank you so much.
116
00:08:09,103 --> 00:08:13,106
I'll never get over the fact
that you grew up like this.
117
00:08:14,233 --> 00:08:16,692
My therapist says
I'll never get over it, either.
118
00:08:17,693 --> 00:08:18,879
I need a drink.
119
00:08:18,903 --> 00:08:20,338
♪ Two turtledoves ♪
120
00:08:20,362 --> 00:08:23,424
♪ And a partridge
in a pear tree... ♪
121
00:08:23,448 --> 00:08:26,700
Hey, look at that.
122
00:08:35,666 --> 00:08:37,435
Hi, Linda.
123
00:08:37,459 --> 00:08:39,478
- Hey.
- How's it going, Alva?
124
00:08:39,502 --> 00:08:41,396
Mm-hmm. You gained weight.
125
00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:44,273
Looks good on you, though.
126
00:08:44,297 --> 00:08:46,192
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
127
00:08:46,216 --> 00:08:47,901
'Sup, limp dick?
128
00:08:49,385 --> 00:08:51,028
I got great feelings
about this Christmas.
129
00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:53,197
- You want to know why?
- Yeah.
130
00:08:53,221 --> 00:08:55,198
'Cause I think this is the year
131
00:08:55,222 --> 00:08:56,991
that Mom's gonna
kick herself upstairs
132
00:08:57,015 --> 00:08:59,701
and choose one of us
to start running the show.
133
00:08:59,725 --> 00:09:04,205
And I got to tell you, Jason,
that I'm gunning for your ass.
134
00:09:05,647 --> 00:09:07,416
What would a Lightstone
family Christmas be
135
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,209
without groveling
and infighting?
136
00:09:10,567 --> 00:09:12,254
Your rosé, ma'am.
137
00:09:12,278 --> 00:09:15,005
Honey, smile. It's Christmas.
138
00:09:15,029 --> 00:09:16,131
Mm.
139
00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:17,715
Good. Good girl.
140
00:09:20,117 --> 00:09:23,220
I am sorry about my sister.
141
00:09:23,244 --> 00:09:25,722
♪ Making spirits bright ♪
142
00:09:25,746 --> 00:09:28,599
♪ What fun it is
to ride and sing... ♪
143
00:09:28,623 --> 00:09:31,083
It is really nice to see you.
144
00:09:32,918 --> 00:09:35,187
To have you here.
145
00:09:35,211 --> 00:09:38,440
♪ Jingle all the way... ♪
146
00:09:38,464 --> 00:09:41,901
Okay, I'm behind. Catch me up
on all the hot goss.
147
00:09:41,925 --> 00:09:43,735
Hot goss. Okay.
148
00:09:43,759 --> 00:09:47,531
Um, well, you remember Bert,
my sister's pride and joy.
149
00:09:47,555 --> 00:09:51,367
Yo, yo, yo.
This is the Bert Locker
150
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:55,245
living that bling life
on Christmas Eve.
151
00:09:56,854 --> 00:09:58,247
Hashtag "blessed."
152
00:09:58,271 --> 00:10:00,791
He just got
what I can only assume
153
00:10:00,815 --> 00:10:04,085
will be his first of many
sexual harassment accusations.
154
00:10:04,109 --> 00:10:05,752
Mom paid off the school,
155
00:10:05,776 --> 00:10:07,921
and now the gymnasium
is named after us.
156
00:10:07,945 --> 00:10:09,923
Of course she did.
157
00:10:09,947 --> 00:10:11,048
What about Tragic Mike?
158
00:10:11,072 --> 00:10:12,842
All I'm saying is,
159
00:10:12,866 --> 00:10:14,510
if I was on one of those planes,
160
00:10:14,534 --> 00:10:16,511
9/11 would've ended
with a bunch of terrorists
161
00:10:16,535 --> 00:10:20,264
skydiving over Connecticut
without their parachutes.
162
00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:22,308
- Yeah. You like that?
- Yes. Yes.
163
00:10:22,332 --> 00:10:24,517
- Yeah, I do like it.
- Ooh.
164
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,936
- Kiss me in front of my son.
- Now, huh?
165
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,479
Mm...
166
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,523
He might actually be
a decent actor.
167
00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:33,607
- Hmm. -He's been doing
an Oscar-worthy job
168
00:10:33,631 --> 00:10:36,193
- of pretending to find
my sister appealing. -
169
00:10:36,217 --> 00:10:38,695
Now he wants Mom
to fund a film for him.
170
00:10:41,637 --> 00:10:43,615
- It's Gertrude!
- It's Mom.
171
00:10:43,639 --> 00:10:45,658
- Okay, let's do this.
- Okay, okay. Come on.
172
00:10:45,682 --> 00:10:47,368
- Come on. Bert, get over here.
- No. Mom. Mom!
173
00:10:47,392 --> 00:10:48,619
- Positions.
- Game time, buddy.
174
00:10:48,643 --> 00:10:50,454
- Okay. Okay.
- This is my good side.
175
00:10:50,478 --> 00:10:52,247
I'm busy. -ALVA:
We've gone over this! Come on!
176
00:10:52,271 --> 00:10:53,373
Gosh. Okay.
177
00:10:53,397 --> 00:10:54,540
Bert, get in the middle.
178
00:10:54,564 --> 00:10:55,791
So it begins.
179
00:10:55,815 --> 00:10:57,918
Seriously, come.
You know what that means.
180
00:10:57,942 --> 00:11:00,003
Shall we jockey forward?
181
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:01,779
No.
182
00:11:02,946 --> 00:11:05,507
No, we can hang back.
183
00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:06,967
Yeah.
184
00:11:06,991 --> 00:11:08,617
Trudy, honey?
185
00:11:10,327 --> 00:11:11,554
Come on over here.
186
00:11:13,037 --> 00:11:15,182
Just, like...
187
00:11:15,206 --> 00:11:16,974
Threaten 'em or bribe 'em.
188
00:11:16,998 --> 00:11:18,267
This isn't rocket science.
189
00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:19,834
Same shit we always do.
190
00:11:21,335 --> 00:11:22,645
That's what?
191
00:11:22,669 --> 00:11:25,106
That's the best you can do?
192
00:11:25,130 --> 00:11:26,982
Excited to see your grandma?
193
00:11:27,006 --> 00:11:28,317
Listen, you cocksucker.
194
00:11:28,341 --> 00:11:30,276
It's Christmas,
so why don't you take
195
00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:32,195
your best offer, gift wrap it,
196
00:11:32,219 --> 00:11:35,155
and ram it up your fucking box.
197
00:11:36,514 --> 00:11:38,824
Maybe you don't
realize who I am.
198
00:11:38,848 --> 00:11:40,409
Those were Grandma words.
You know, forget them.
199
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,244
Oh, boy.
Look at Mr. Cool back here.
200
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:44,496
Yeah, what's your angle, man?
Hmm?
201
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,123
No angle.
I'm not doing anything.
202
00:11:47,147 --> 00:11:48,582
Oh, yeah.
203
00:11:48,606 --> 00:11:50,167
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. No!
204
00:11:50,191 --> 00:11:53,211
Don't shit in my mouth
and tell me it's chocolate cake.
205
00:11:53,235 --> 00:11:54,504
Grandma's cool.
206
00:11:54,528 --> 00:11:56,797
I can make that story go away...
207
00:11:56,821 --> 00:11:58,507
I think your brother's
up to something.
208
00:11:58,531 --> 00:12:00,300
No, I just decided
to let you guys
209
00:12:00,324 --> 00:12:02,176
have all the fun
sucking up to Mom today.
210
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,969
Please. You are King Suck-up.
211
00:12:04,993 --> 00:12:07,013
You named your kid Gertrude.
212
00:12:08,414 --> 00:12:10,682
Alva, you named
your son Bertrude.
213
00:12:10,706 --> 00:12:12,684
Okay.
214
00:12:12,708 --> 00:12:14,394
Sorry, Bert,
but that's not a real name.
215
00:12:14,418 --> 00:12:17,230
Sorry, Linda. We can't all be
lucky enough to have daughters.
216
00:12:17,254 --> 00:12:19,255
Mom, I can hear you.
217
00:12:20,381 --> 00:12:22,942
You know something we don't.
What is it?
218
00:12:22,966 --> 00:12:24,402
No, I don't. I don't.
219
00:12:24,426 --> 00:12:25,653
I got it. Bingo.
220
00:12:25,677 --> 00:12:27,070
I'm onto you, man. Come on!
221
00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:28,696
- We were just...
- Come on,
222
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:29,948
come on, come on, come on.
223
00:12:29,972 --> 00:12:32,241
- You big sack of shit.
- Ooh.
224
00:12:32,265 --> 00:12:34,076
No wonder your husband left you.
225
00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:36,351
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
226
00:12:37,394 --> 00:12:39,729
Merry Christmas to you, too,
Senator.
227
00:12:40,563 --> 00:12:42,332
- Merry Christmas, Mommy.
- Merry Christmas.
228
00:12:43,691 --> 00:12:45,209
Merry Christmas.
229
00:12:45,233 --> 00:12:47,986
Why in the hell are you standing
all the way back there?
230
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,797
Merry Christmas, Grandma!
231
00:12:50,821 --> 00:12:52,882
- Aw.
- Little bitch.
232
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:55,426
Little Gertrude. And how is
my favorite granddaughter?
233
00:12:55,450 --> 00:12:57,969
Everybody calls me Trudy now.
234
00:12:57,993 --> 00:12:59,661
Trudy?
235
00:13:00,996 --> 00:13:03,098
- Well, that makes her
sound like a whore. -Okay.
236
00:13:03,122 --> 00:13:05,851
Oh, she doesn't even know
the meaning of the word.
237
00:13:05,875 --> 00:13:08,185
I'm starving. Let's eat.
238
00:13:08,209 --> 00:13:09,645
Great.
239
00:13:09,669 --> 00:13:12,147
And, Mom, I think Gertrude
is a beautiful name.
240
00:13:12,171 --> 00:13:14,441
Mm-hmm.
I only call her Gertrude.
241
00:13:14,465 --> 00:13:15,732
- Merry Christmas, Gertrude.
- Come on, Bertrude.
242
00:13:15,756 --> 00:13:19,486
♪ When the kids
are fast asleep ♪
243
00:13:19,510 --> 00:13:22,155
♪ Gently down the stairs
we'll creep ♪
244
00:13:23,805 --> 00:13:26,658
♪ Then we'll lock and bolt
all the doors ♪
245
00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:30,286
♪ Just you and me
and Santa Claus ♪
246
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,581
♪ We'll be as quiet
as quiet can be ♪
247
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:37,875
♪ Planting toys under the tree ♪
248
00:13:37,899 --> 00:13:41,670
♪ We'll be crawling around
on all fours ♪
249
00:13:41,694 --> 00:13:43,463
♪ Just you and me ♪
250
00:13:43,487 --> 00:13:46,090
♪ And Santa Claus ♪
251
00:13:53,453 --> 00:13:55,429
♪ For soon will be ♪
252
00:13:55,453 --> 00:13:57,098
♪ That magic time ♪
253
00:13:57,122 --> 00:13:59,766
♪ When we hear
that midnight chime ♪
254
00:14:01,584 --> 00:14:03,270
♪ When that flying sleigh ♪
255
00:14:03,294 --> 00:14:05,563
♪ Finally flies away ♪
256
00:14:05,587 --> 00:14:08,773
♪ We'll have a very merry
Christmas Day ♪
257
00:14:08,797 --> 00:14:13,277
♪ We'll raise a toast
to the team with the most ♪
258
00:14:13,301 --> 00:14:16,614
♪ The best there ever was ♪
259
00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:20,617
♪ You and me
and Santa Claus... ♪
260
00:14:20,641 --> 00:14:23,476
Another fucking Christmas.
261
00:14:26,811 --> 00:14:28,539
I made these all by myself.
262
00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:30,124
- No way.
- Mm-hmm.
263
00:14:30,148 --> 00:14:32,292
I even made one
that looks exactly like Santa.
264
00:14:32,316 --> 00:14:34,818
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
265
00:14:35,652 --> 00:14:37,171
Santa gets a candy cane, too?
266
00:14:37,195 --> 00:14:38,422
Yeah.
267
00:14:38,446 --> 00:14:39,947
Mm, okay.
268
00:14:41,323 --> 00:14:42,967
It's perfect.
269
00:14:42,991 --> 00:14:44,635
No peeking.
270
00:14:44,659 --> 00:14:47,095
This house has so many chimneys.
271
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:50,640
How will Santa know
which one to come down?
272
00:14:50,664 --> 00:14:52,516
Oh, Santa just knows.
273
00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:54,333
Christmas magic.
274
00:14:57,293 --> 00:14:58,979
Honey, what's wrong?
275
00:14:59,003 --> 00:15:02,506
Daddy never took me to see
Santa at the mall this year.
276
00:15:03,298 --> 00:15:05,509
He didn't.
277
00:15:07,885 --> 00:15:09,887
I am so sorry.
278
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,616
This year has been weird.
279
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:17,327
I never got to tell Santa
what I wanted for Christmas.
280
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,852
Oh, honey. Come here.
281
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:26,125
You know what?
282
00:15:26,149 --> 00:15:30,337
You go put your pj's on,
283
00:15:30,361 --> 00:15:33,446
and I will be two minutes.
284
00:15:39,243 --> 00:15:41,536
Yes!
285
00:15:42,996 --> 00:15:45,391
Okay...
286
00:15:53,337 --> 00:15:55,022
Yes.
287
00:15:58,882 --> 00:16:00,718
Yes!
288
00:16:02,177 --> 00:16:06,574
Because you have been so good
to me and Mommy this year,
289
00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:10,535
we decided that
you could have one gift...
290
00:16:10,559 --> 00:16:12,411
early!
291
00:16:12,435 --> 00:16:14,895
Really?
292
00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:21,025
What is it?
293
00:16:22,943 --> 00:16:26,505
That is a very special
walkie-talkie.
294
00:16:26,529 --> 00:16:28,048
It's magic.
295
00:16:28,072 --> 00:16:29,341
- Magic?
- Mm-hmm.
296
00:16:29,365 --> 00:16:31,551
What you got right there
297
00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:33,928
is a direct hotline
to Santa Claus himself.
298
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:36,680
- I can talk to Santa?
- Oh, yeah.
299
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:40,516
It's just like writing him
a letter... but better.
300
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:41,642
Mm-hmm.
301
00:16:41,666 --> 00:16:44,436
Now, the only thing is,
302
00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:46,813
he might not have time
to answer you.
303
00:16:46,837 --> 00:16:48,856
He's delivering a lot
of presents tonight.
304
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,190
Mm-hmm.
305
00:16:50,214 --> 00:16:52,799
But he'll hear everything
you want to say to him.
306
00:16:59,263 --> 00:17:01,073
Hello, Santa?
307
00:17:01,097 --> 00:17:04,535
This is Trudy Lightstone.
308
00:17:04,559 --> 00:17:06,578
I hope you're having
a nice night.
309
00:17:06,602 --> 00:17:08,747
Mm.
310
00:17:08,771 --> 00:17:13,524
It's really cold tonight,
so don't forget your mittens.
311
00:17:14,358 --> 00:17:17,629
So, I wanted to tell you, Santa,
312
00:17:17,653 --> 00:17:19,421
I was extra good this year,
313
00:17:19,445 --> 00:17:23,615
so I wrote a big list for you
with all the stuff I wanted.
314
00:17:24,949 --> 00:17:26,802
But then...
315
00:17:26,826 --> 00:17:30,245
then I realized
I don't need any of that.
316
00:17:31,163 --> 00:17:34,874
I really only want
one present for Christmas.
317
00:17:36,541 --> 00:17:40,187
I want Mommy and Daddy
to make up
318
00:17:40,211 --> 00:17:42,630
so we can be a family again.
319
00:17:43,839 --> 00:17:45,483
Okay.
320
00:17:45,507 --> 00:17:47,676
Good night, Santa.
321
00:17:48,843 --> 00:17:50,969
Good night, Mr. Bunny.
322
00:18:03,396 --> 00:18:05,123
Which one of you did that?
323
00:18:06,482 --> 00:18:07,792
You can't go two seconds without
324
00:18:07,816 --> 00:18:09,627
crapping on the roof
like a bunch of pigeons?
325
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:14,488
So unprofessional.
326
00:18:17,073 --> 00:18:19,784
You know, Rudolph
will never do this crap.
327
00:18:33,002 --> 00:18:34,670
Hmm.
328
00:18:38,965 --> 00:18:40,758
Mmm.
329
00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:49,682
Mmm, mmm.
330
00:18:50,683 --> 00:18:52,993
Homemade.
331
00:18:53,017 --> 00:18:54,370
Mmm.
332
00:18:58,230 --> 00:19:00,207
Ugh.
333
00:19:00,231 --> 00:19:01,816
Skim.
334
00:19:12,074 --> 00:19:13,634
Oh, yeah.
335
00:19:13,658 --> 00:19:15,785
That's the stuff.
336
00:19:20,205 --> 00:19:22,123
Mmm.
337
00:19:23,124 --> 00:19:24,852
DuBoi...
338
00:19:24,876 --> 00:19:27,854
- On some prewar shit
right there. -
339
00:19:27,878 --> 00:19:30,297
Good shit.
340
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,533
Mmm.
341
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,200
That pairs well.
342
00:19:45,224 --> 00:19:47,894
What do we have here?
343
00:20:04,114 --> 00:20:05,799
Oh, yeah.
344
00:20:05,823 --> 00:20:07,909
That's the stuff.
345
00:20:16,832 --> 00:20:19,894
You know, uh...
346
00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:22,897
Christmas is all right,
347
00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:26,590
but you Americans don't
celebrate my favorite holiday.
348
00:20:27,424 --> 00:20:29,234
Oh, yeah? What?
349
00:20:29,258 --> 00:20:30,885
Boxing Day.
350
00:21:04,118 --> 00:21:05,763
Yo, yo. B. Lightstone here,
351
00:21:05,787 --> 00:21:07,555
live streaming the dream,
you know.
352
00:21:07,579 --> 00:21:10,123
They say the richest man...
353
00:21:11,291 --> 00:21:12,893
Say goodbye.
354
00:21:12,917 --> 00:21:14,877
And if you...
355
00:21:16,045 --> 00:21:19,023
Grandma! Your Wi-Fi sucks dick.
356
00:21:19,047 --> 00:21:20,691
Damn it!
357
00:21:20,715 --> 00:21:23,276
When he was small,
I begged you to beat him.
358
00:21:40,772 --> 00:21:42,750
Hey. Merry Christmas.
359
00:21:42,774 --> 00:21:44,417
Or should I say
"happy holidays" now?
360
00:21:44,441 --> 00:21:46,461
Right? I mean, it's like,
people, make up your minds.
361
00:21:46,485 --> 00:21:48,712
- You know what I'm saying?
- Can I help you?
362
00:21:48,736 --> 00:21:50,673
Oh, yeah. I sure hope so.
See, uh,
363
00:21:50,697 --> 00:21:52,298
my car broke down
a little ways...
364
00:21:52,322 --> 00:21:54,133
Out here?
This is a private road.
365
00:21:54,157 --> 00:21:56,134
You're telling me.
366
00:21:56,158 --> 00:21:58,428
It's the first place
I've seen for miles.
367
00:21:58,452 --> 00:21:59,721
I think I got frostbite.
368
00:21:59,745 --> 00:22:01,055
Where the hell am I, anyway?
369
00:22:01,079 --> 00:22:02,807
G.T. Lightstone family compound.
370
00:22:02,831 --> 00:22:04,666
I'll call you a tow.
371
00:22:13,715 --> 00:22:15,692
All right, revelers.
372
00:22:15,716 --> 00:22:17,485
Time to steal Christmas.
373
00:22:17,509 --> 00:22:18,735
Sound off.
374
00:22:18,759 --> 00:22:20,320
Jingle. Check.
375
00:22:20,344 --> 00:22:21,905
Peppermint. Check.
376
00:22:21,929 --> 00:22:23,489
Sugarplum. Check.
377
00:22:23,513 --> 00:22:26,450
Krampus. Ready to fuck shit up.
378
00:22:26,474 --> 00:22:28,243
Candy Cane. Check.
379
00:22:28,267 --> 00:22:30,871
- Go for Frosty.
- Go for Tinsel.
380
00:22:30,895 --> 00:22:32,580
Go for Gingerbread.
381
00:22:32,604 --> 00:22:35,541
Are we gonna use these stupid
code names all night?
382
00:22:35,565 --> 00:22:37,041
'Tis the season.
383
00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:40,836
Welcome to your worst
Christmas ever.
384
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:44,238
Trudy loves seeing Santa
at the mall.
385
00:22:45,071 --> 00:22:46,841
She loves going with her father.
386
00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:48,509
And you should've
taken her yesterday,
387
00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:49,885
like you do every Christmas,
388
00:22:49,909 --> 00:22:51,595
but we didn't even
hear from you.
389
00:22:51,619 --> 00:22:52,929
Mom put me on a special project.
390
00:22:52,953 --> 00:22:54,346
- It's complicated.
- But it's not,
391
00:22:54,370 --> 00:22:56,432
because it keeps happening
over and over.
392
00:22:56,456 --> 00:22:59,041
- Your mother forcing herself
between us. -You're right.
393
00:23:03,628 --> 00:23:05,981
What if we could give Trudy
her Christmas wish?
394
00:23:06,005 --> 00:23:08,065
You're trying to win me back
395
00:23:08,089 --> 00:23:10,735
with a romantic weekend
at your mother's?
396
00:23:10,759 --> 00:23:14,094
What if things
really changed this time?
397
00:23:15,845 --> 00:23:18,282
We got out from under
my mother's thumb.
398
00:23:18,306 --> 00:23:20,074
We'll walk away.
399
00:23:20,098 --> 00:23:22,809
From the company, the family.
400
00:23:25,519 --> 00:23:27,146
Tonight.
401
00:23:27,939 --> 00:23:29,457
What are you up to?
402
00:24:14,766 --> 00:24:16,035
Let's go.
403
00:24:16,059 --> 00:24:18,536
We need to get you out of here.
404
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,288
Mommy, where are you going?
405
00:24:20,312 --> 00:24:22,081
- She's going for the panic room!
- What?
406
00:24:22,105 --> 00:24:23,415
- Yes. Go, Bertrude.
- Without us?
407
00:24:29,403 --> 00:24:31,445
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.
408
00:24:53,129 --> 00:24:55,065
There isn't room for all of us.
409
00:24:55,089 --> 00:24:56,817
She can fit at least two of us.
Mom, take me.
410
00:24:56,841 --> 00:24:58,776
- Mom!
- Oh. Yeah.
411
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,403
M-Mom, can Bert come, too?
412
00:25:03,095 --> 00:25:04,322
Okay. Move it or lose it, son.
413
00:25:04,346 --> 00:25:06,031
- Move it!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
414
00:25:06,055 --> 00:25:08,158
You're supposed to protect us.
415
00:25:08,182 --> 00:25:09,851
We protect the primary asset.
416
00:25:13,812 --> 00:25:14,997
Who the hell are you?
417
00:25:15,021 --> 00:25:17,982
You can call me Mr. Scrooge.
418
00:25:18,733 --> 00:25:20,126
Hilarious.
419
00:25:20,150 --> 00:25:21,484
Get him.
420
00:25:30,033 --> 00:25:32,451
Bah humbug, motherfucker.
421
00:25:41,833 --> 00:25:44,085
Hey. Step aside.
422
00:25:45,336 --> 00:25:47,814
Tinsel, Peppermint,
sweep upstairs.
423
00:25:47,838 --> 00:25:50,048
I want all the Lightstones
together.
424
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,550
Kill anybody else you find.
425
00:26:02,725 --> 00:26:05,518
Fuck. Fuck, fuck.
426
00:26:06,352 --> 00:26:08,896
Trudy, honey, we got to go.
427
00:26:09,855 --> 00:26:11,374
Wake up, honey. Wake up.
428
00:26:11,398 --> 00:26:14,192
Maybe we can get out the back
by the servants' stairs.
429
00:26:21,030 --> 00:26:23,508
Oh, come on. Not now. Not now.
430
00:26:24,658 --> 00:26:26,635
Fuck! Fuck!
431
00:26:26,659 --> 00:26:28,179
Mistletoe, gingerbread.
432
00:26:52,387 --> 00:26:53,448
Hey!
433
00:26:56,307 --> 00:26:57,534
Oh. Oh.
434
00:26:57,558 --> 00:26:58,994
Hi.
435
00:26:59,018 --> 00:27:01,454
You got me.
436
00:27:01,478 --> 00:27:04,040
I don't want any trouble, okay?
437
00:27:04,064 --> 00:27:05,749
Downstairs. Now.
438
00:27:05,773 --> 00:27:09,418
Look, mister,
I don't want to get involved.
439
00:27:09,442 --> 00:27:11,837
I just...
I just have a job to do.
440
00:27:11,861 --> 00:27:13,214
Okay? That's it.
441
00:27:13,238 --> 00:27:15,715
I'm just gonna take my bag,
442
00:27:15,739 --> 00:27:18,550
and I'm just gonna
scooch up that chimney.
443
00:27:20,076 --> 00:27:21,953
Enough talk. Let's go.
444
00:27:22,744 --> 00:27:24,472
You don't want to do this.
445
00:27:24,496 --> 00:27:25,681
What? This?
446
00:27:27,414 --> 00:27:28,725
Now, move!
447
00:27:28,749 --> 00:27:30,727
Are you deaf?
448
00:27:30,751 --> 00:27:32,728
Fucking move!
449
00:27:43,553 --> 00:27:45,404
No, no, no.
450
00:27:45,428 --> 00:27:48,574
No! Wait!
451
00:27:48,598 --> 00:27:49,908
Wait.
452
00:27:49,932 --> 00:27:51,576
Wait! Don't go!
453
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,476
Come back!
454
00:29:08,534 --> 00:29:10,286
Oh, fuck!
455
00:29:34,388 --> 00:29:35,865
Oh, shit.
456
00:29:57,197 --> 00:30:01,034
Damn chickenshit reindeer
leave me here to die.
457
00:30:09,457 --> 00:30:12,685
♪ Violent night ♪
458
00:30:12,709 --> 00:30:15,771
♪ Gory night ♪
459
00:30:15,795 --> 00:30:17,940
♪ All is calm ♪
460
00:30:17,964 --> 00:30:22,217
♪ If all doesn't want to get
shot in the fucking head. ♪
461
00:30:23,009 --> 00:30:24,361
Cute.
462
00:30:24,385 --> 00:30:27,513
Do you have any idea
who you're fucking with?
463
00:30:30,848 --> 00:30:33,701
I know exactly
who I'm fucking with.
464
00:30:33,725 --> 00:30:35,828
Oh, wait, wait.
Did you actually think
465
00:30:35,852 --> 00:30:37,371
that I spent months
466
00:30:37,395 --> 00:30:40,040
planning a complex break-in
to the most secure
467
00:30:40,064 --> 00:30:41,666
private residence in the country
468
00:30:41,690 --> 00:30:43,417
and I didn't know
who lived here?
469
00:30:43,441 --> 00:30:45,002
Well, you're wrong.
470
00:30:45,026 --> 00:30:47,963
'Cause your staff are dead.
471
00:30:47,987 --> 00:30:50,089
Your security are dead.
472
00:30:50,113 --> 00:30:53,408
Now, sit down
and shut the fuck up!
473
00:31:21,512 --> 00:31:23,556
Oh, fuck.
474
00:31:26,433 --> 00:31:27,743
We planned it. It's all right.
475
00:31:27,767 --> 00:31:29,370
It'll be solved
in a couple minutes.
476
00:31:29,394 --> 00:31:30,912
Better be solved.
477
00:31:30,936 --> 00:31:33,290
So much like a scene
from my movie Dark Ransom.
478
00:31:33,314 --> 00:31:34,772
Oh, my God.
479
00:31:35,940 --> 00:31:37,418
If they didn't have guns,
480
00:31:37,442 --> 00:31:39,460
I could take out three,
maybe four of them.
481
00:31:39,484 --> 00:31:41,587
Try all of them.
482
00:31:41,611 --> 00:31:44,214
Ew, Mom. Yuck.
483
00:31:44,238 --> 00:31:46,008
If you'd really done
your research, you'd know
484
00:31:46,032 --> 00:31:48,825
that my brother Rory
was kidnapped in the '70s.
485
00:31:49,701 --> 00:31:52,304
But my father
never called the police.
486
00:31:52,328 --> 00:31:54,806
Dad sent in our own
private extraction team,
487
00:31:54,830 --> 00:31:58,392
and Rory was home
safe and sound a week later.
488
00:31:58,416 --> 00:32:02,061
And the kidnappers
were never found.
489
00:32:02,085 --> 00:32:04,171
If you get me.
490
00:32:05,713 --> 00:32:07,190
I know.
491
00:32:07,214 --> 00:32:09,900
I know all about
your extraction team
492
00:32:09,924 --> 00:32:11,986
that you affectionately call
"the Kill Squad"
493
00:32:12,010 --> 00:32:13,778
behind closed doors.
494
00:32:13,802 --> 00:32:15,697
I also know
that they're on their way
495
00:32:15,721 --> 00:32:17,699
and how long it's gonna
take 'em to get here.
496
00:32:17,723 --> 00:32:20,617
I even know their credit ratings
and their dick sizes.
497
00:32:20,641 --> 00:32:22,286
If you get me.
498
00:32:22,310 --> 00:32:24,454
Then you should also know
you're already dead.
499
00:32:24,478 --> 00:32:26,289
We don't do ransoms.
500
00:32:26,313 --> 00:32:28,915
Again, I know. I know.
501
00:32:28,939 --> 00:32:30,917
See, I know a lot, Gertrude.
502
00:32:30,941 --> 00:32:32,668
I really do.
503
00:32:32,692 --> 00:32:35,755
Like the fact that you have
300 million in U.S. dollars
504
00:32:35,779 --> 00:32:37,881
sitting in your personal vault
downstairs.
505
00:32:37,905 --> 00:32:40,133
- The fuck?
- That's right.
506
00:32:40,157 --> 00:32:42,885
300 million that
the U.S. government
507
00:32:42,909 --> 00:32:46,346
gave Lightstone to quietly
distribute in the Middle East
508
00:32:46,370 --> 00:32:48,014
to all the worst people,
509
00:32:48,038 --> 00:32:52,184
to grease the wheels
and keep that sweet oil flowing.
510
00:32:52,208 --> 00:32:56,771
300 million that... oops...
Disappeared in the fog of war.
511
00:32:56,795 --> 00:32:59,981
Except it didn't really
disappear, did it, Gerty?
512
00:33:00,005 --> 00:33:01,316
'Cause you stole it.
513
00:33:01,340 --> 00:33:02,900
Did you know about this?
514
00:33:02,924 --> 00:33:04,360
Man, this family.
515
00:33:04,384 --> 00:33:07,528
This moneygrubbing family.
516
00:33:07,552 --> 00:33:09,405
Clinging desperately
to your wealth,
517
00:33:09,429 --> 00:33:11,823
when your poor employees
don't even have enough coal
518
00:33:11,847 --> 00:33:13,700
to keep Tiny Tim warm.
519
00:33:13,724 --> 00:33:16,869
What is it with you
and all this Christmas shit?
520
00:33:16,893 --> 00:33:18,662
Talk all you want.
521
00:33:18,686 --> 00:33:20,497
You'll never get in the vault.
522
00:33:20,521 --> 00:33:24,000
Oh, oh, oh, because when
you-you hit the panic button,
523
00:33:24,024 --> 00:33:25,667
it reset the combination?
524
00:33:25,691 --> 00:33:29,361
I keep telling you, I know.
525
00:33:34,156 --> 00:33:37,010
This is what breaking
into a vault has turned into?
526
00:33:37,034 --> 00:33:41,680
Remember when you just had to
drill holes and blow shit up?
527
00:33:41,704 --> 00:33:43,348
I don't know,
maybe I'm getting old,
528
00:33:43,372 --> 00:33:44,849
but there was something
romantic about that.
529
00:33:44,873 --> 00:33:47,101
Boss, you copy?
530
00:33:47,125 --> 00:33:49,061
I'm kind of busy here.
531
00:33:49,085 --> 00:33:51,545
You're gonna want to see this.
532
00:34:00,885 --> 00:34:02,530
Maybe he fell.
533
00:34:02,554 --> 00:34:03,948
You rappel down buildings
with him.
534
00:34:03,972 --> 00:34:06,390
You gonna tell me
he just fell out a window?
535
00:34:07,224 --> 00:34:09,201
All right, look lively, gang.
536
00:34:09,225 --> 00:34:10,977
We got a gopher.
537
00:34:26,405 --> 00:34:27,882
You know what?
538
00:34:27,906 --> 00:34:32,052
Um, I think Mr. Bunny
wants to go to sleep.
539
00:34:32,076 --> 00:34:34,054
So, let's tuck him in.
540
00:34:34,078 --> 00:34:35,704
Okay?
541
00:34:36,872 --> 00:34:38,582
It's gonna be okay.
542
00:34:52,468 --> 00:34:54,987
Hello? Santa?
543
00:34:55,011 --> 00:34:56,971
Are you there?
544
00:35:02,808 --> 00:35:04,560
Shit.
545
00:35:08,688 --> 00:35:11,291
This is
Candy Cane at checkpoint three.
546
00:35:11,315 --> 00:35:13,001
Oh, shit.
547
00:35:13,025 --> 00:35:14,793
Shit. Shit. Shit.
548
00:35:17,987 --> 00:35:19,905
Video game.
549
00:35:21,072 --> 00:35:22,383
Video game.
550
00:35:22,407 --> 00:35:24,593
Didn't anybody ask
for a bat or a sword
551
00:35:24,617 --> 00:35:27,745
or Molotov cocktails?
552
00:35:36,251 --> 00:35:37,960
Wait.
553
00:35:52,722 --> 00:35:54,366
Mommy, I love you.
554
00:35:55,933 --> 00:35:57,785
Poetry book.
555
00:35:57,809 --> 00:36:00,245
Die Hard on Blu-ray. Fuck!
556
00:36:01,854 --> 00:36:05,458
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
557
00:36:05,482 --> 00:36:08,126
- ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
558
00:36:08,150 --> 00:36:10,253
♪ Ah-ooh ♪
559
00:36:10,277 --> 00:36:12,796
- ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh... ♪
560
00:36:14,405 --> 00:36:16,342
Safety's on, dipshit.
561
00:36:17,991 --> 00:36:21,345
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
562
00:36:21,369 --> 00:36:23,722
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪
563
00:36:23,746 --> 00:36:25,348
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
564
00:36:25,372 --> 00:36:27,141
♪ I look for him because ♪
565
00:36:27,165 --> 00:36:29,101
Wait. Hang on. Hang on.
566
00:36:29,125 --> 00:36:30,477
♪ It's Christmas Eve... ♪
567
00:36:30,501 --> 00:36:33,063
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. Look.
568
00:36:33,087 --> 00:36:34,480
I don't want to kill you.
569
00:36:38,466 --> 00:36:42,237
Wow, a big fat guy, gray beard.
570
00:36:42,261 --> 00:36:44,345
Eh?
571
00:36:44,887 --> 00:36:46,907
Santa...
572
00:36:46,931 --> 00:36:48,950
I'm gonna rip
your fucking balls off.
573
00:36:53,269 --> 00:36:56,288
♪ I hope he won't forget
to crack his castanets ♪
574
00:36:56,312 --> 00:36:59,833
♪ And to his reindeer say ♪
575
00:36:59,857 --> 00:37:02,418
♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen..." ♪
576
00:37:02,442 --> 00:37:04,337
Oh, shit.
577
00:37:07,405 --> 00:37:10,007
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
578
00:37:10,031 --> 00:37:12,343
♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
579
00:37:13,993 --> 00:37:16,846
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪
580
00:37:16,870 --> 00:37:18,639
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
581
00:37:18,663 --> 00:37:20,391
♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
582
00:37:20,415 --> 00:37:22,351
♪ Christmas Eve ♪
583
00:37:31,715 --> 00:37:33,317
♪ I hope he won't forget ♪
584
00:37:33,341 --> 00:37:34,902
♪ To crack his castanets ♪
585
00:37:34,926 --> 00:37:38,780
♪ And to his reindeer say ♪
586
00:37:38,804 --> 00:37:42,741
♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen ♪
587
00:37:42,765 --> 00:37:46,703
♪ Olé, olé, olé" ♪
588
00:37:46,727 --> 00:37:49,663
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
589
00:37:49,687 --> 00:37:52,207
♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
590
00:37:52,231 --> 00:37:53,375
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
591
00:37:53,399 --> 00:37:55,376
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪
592
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,086
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
593
00:37:57,110 --> 00:38:00,630
- ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
- ♪ Christmas Eve ♪
594
00:38:00,654 --> 00:38:03,549
♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
595
00:38:03,573 --> 00:38:05,217
♪ Mamacita ♪
596
00:38:05,241 --> 00:38:07,468
- ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
- ♪ Mamacita. ♪
597
00:38:49,150 --> 00:38:51,461
Ah, God.
598
00:38:51,485 --> 00:38:53,195
Whew.
599
00:38:54,237 --> 00:38:57,174
Whew. Whew.
600
00:38:57,198 --> 00:38:59,259
This is Candy Cane checking in.
601
00:38:59,283 --> 00:39:00,968
Compound is clear and secured.
602
00:39:03,119 --> 00:39:05,180
Copy. What's the
status on the Kill Squad?
603
00:39:06,872 --> 00:39:08,599
Kill Squad
won't be here for two hours.
604
00:39:08,623 --> 00:39:11,477
So we're doing good. The outer
seal's already been breached.
605
00:39:11,501 --> 00:39:14,103
Is there a 911 thing on here?
606
00:39:14,127 --> 00:39:16,606
My...
607
00:39:16,630 --> 00:39:18,565
Am I doing that correct?
608
00:39:18,589 --> 00:39:19,900
Hello?
609
00:39:19,924 --> 00:39:21,859
Hello, can anybody hear me?
610
00:39:21,883 --> 00:39:24,445
Can you hear me, Santa?
611
00:39:26,303 --> 00:39:27,530
Hello?
612
00:39:27,554 --> 00:39:29,139
Santa?
613
00:39:32,308 --> 00:39:34,060
Yeah, this is Santa.
614
00:39:36,812 --> 00:39:39,480
I hope I'm not bothering you.
615
00:39:40,856 --> 00:39:43,734
Daddy said you were
very busy tonight.
616
00:39:45,485 --> 00:39:47,380
I'm...
617
00:39:47,404 --> 00:39:49,589
I'm on a break.
618
00:39:49,613 --> 00:39:51,824
Who-who am I speaking to?
619
00:39:54,242 --> 00:39:56,095
My name is Trudy Lightstone,
620
00:39:56,119 --> 00:39:59,555
and I've been very good
this year.
621
00:39:59,579 --> 00:40:01,473
Trudy...
622
00:40:03,708 --> 00:40:05,835
Trudy Lightstone.
623
00:40:14,675 --> 00:40:16,860
Yeah, Trudy.
624
00:40:16,884 --> 00:40:19,237
You're on my nice list.
625
00:40:19,261 --> 00:40:21,805
You've been a very good girl
this year.
626
00:40:23,348 --> 00:40:25,558
Where are you now, Trudy?
627
00:40:26,809 --> 00:40:29,620
I'm in a big room
with all my relatives.
628
00:40:29,644 --> 00:40:33,021
There's two bad men with guns
watching us.
629
00:40:35,607 --> 00:40:37,292
Oh, no. Six left.
630
00:40:37,316 --> 00:40:39,652
Are you gonna help us, Santa?
631
00:40:40,778 --> 00:40:42,755
Yeah. Of course
I'm gonna help you.
632
00:40:42,779 --> 00:40:45,466
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna get you out of there.
633
00:40:45,490 --> 00:40:49,076
Take all these bad guys
on my naughty list...
634
00:40:49,952 --> 00:40:52,430
I'm gonna take a lump of coal,
635
00:40:52,454 --> 00:40:56,391
each and every one of them,
and shove it straight up...
636
00:40:56,415 --> 00:40:57,708
The ass.
637
00:41:00,543 --> 00:41:02,062
Well, I mean, come on, sweetie.
638
00:41:02,086 --> 00:41:05,046
We want to keep you
on the nice list, you know.
639
00:41:06,381 --> 00:41:08,966
Sorry.
Can I say "butthole," then?
640
00:41:09,759 --> 00:41:11,236
I mean, it's borderline.
641
00:41:11,260 --> 00:41:12,862
How about "anus"?
642
00:41:12,886 --> 00:41:17,198
Technically, yes,
uh, "anus" is the tech...
643
00:41:17,222 --> 00:41:19,033
Okay, look, uh, Tru...
uh, Trudy.
644
00:41:19,057 --> 00:41:21,785
I got to call for help,
and the phone lines are down.
645
00:41:21,809 --> 00:41:24,455
You probably know this house
better than anybody.
646
00:41:24,479 --> 00:41:26,372
You got any suggestions?
647
00:41:26,396 --> 00:41:28,023
I have an idea.
648
00:41:30,274 --> 00:41:32,836
All right, you're telling me
there's a goddamn Santa Claus
649
00:41:32,860 --> 00:41:34,778
running around here?
650
00:41:37,947 --> 00:41:39,966
Okay, well,
he looks jolly as fuck,
651
00:41:39,990 --> 00:41:41,509
but who the hell is he?
652
00:41:41,533 --> 00:41:43,719
There's no Santa listed
on the employee manifest.
653
00:41:43,743 --> 00:41:45,053
Yeah, there's more.
654
00:41:45,077 --> 00:41:46,764
Frosty hasn't checked in.
I can't reach him.
655
00:41:46,788 --> 00:41:48,723
All right, keep trying.
656
00:41:51,416 --> 00:41:52,934
All right, it's official.
657
00:41:52,958 --> 00:41:54,853
We got a gopher on the loose,
and he's dangerous.
658
00:41:54,877 --> 00:41:56,270
Watch your backs.
659
00:42:01,256 --> 00:42:04,009
Al? Al?
660
00:42:10,222 --> 00:42:12,098
Oh, shit.
661
00:42:19,771 --> 00:42:21,415
Oh, shit!
662
00:42:21,439 --> 00:42:24,775
Frosty, what's your status?
663
00:42:28,236 --> 00:42:30,279
Frosty, sound off.
664
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,157
Uh, Frosty?
665
00:42:35,450 --> 00:42:36,885
Is-is that, uh...
666
00:42:36,909 --> 00:42:38,804
is that the naughty guy
I met in the basement?
667
00:42:38,828 --> 00:42:40,513
Your-your friend is dead.
668
00:42:40,537 --> 00:42:43,766
Uh, he got a star in his face,
then his head caught on fire.
669
00:42:43,790 --> 00:42:45,683
It's a long story.
670
00:42:45,707 --> 00:42:48,520
Oh.
671
00:42:48,544 --> 00:42:50,687
Is this... is this our Santy?
672
00:42:50,711 --> 00:42:53,606
Is this our... our Santy Claus?
673
00:42:53,630 --> 00:42:55,215
Yeah, it is.
674
00:42:56,007 --> 00:42:57,902
To whom am I speaking?
675
00:42:57,926 --> 00:42:59,903
Well, for tonight,
I'm Mr. Scrooge.
676
00:42:59,927 --> 00:43:03,823
Now, what is it
that you want exactly, Santa?
677
00:43:03,847 --> 00:43:06,367
I want you to put down
your weapons,
678
00:43:06,391 --> 00:43:09,285
I want you to let
this family go,
679
00:43:09,309 --> 00:43:11,162
and then I want to find
my reindeer,
680
00:43:11,186 --> 00:43:13,688
and I want to continue
delivering my presents.
681
00:43:16,439 --> 00:43:17,959
Are you fucking with me?
682
00:43:17,983 --> 00:43:20,252
All right, who the hell
are you really, huh?
683
00:43:20,276 --> 00:43:22,879
Some security guard who's
watched too many action flicks?
684
00:43:22,903 --> 00:43:25,339
Some loser ex-cop
stuck in a mall
685
00:43:25,363 --> 00:43:27,591
playing dress-up with fat kids
pissing on your lap?
686
00:43:27,615 --> 00:43:29,008
Stop me when I get it right.
687
00:43:29,032 --> 00:43:31,302
It's a little more complicated
than that.
688
00:43:31,326 --> 00:43:32,929
Not to me, it's not.
689
00:43:32,953 --> 00:43:34,930
'Cause I want to make it
my personal mission,
690
00:43:34,954 --> 00:43:39,267
my holiday to-do list,
to find you and to end you
691
00:43:39,291 --> 00:43:42,936
and to wipe my ass with you
and this whole fucking holiday.
692
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:45,480
That's what I want
for Christmas, Santa.
693
00:43:45,504 --> 00:43:49,608
That is a terrible thing
to want for Christmas.
694
00:43:49,632 --> 00:43:53,385
But maybe you and I should
discuss that in person.
695
00:43:54,678 --> 00:43:57,346
Santa Claus is coming to town.
696
00:44:08,730 --> 00:44:10,189
Shit.
697
00:44:20,031 --> 00:44:21,341
All right, who did you hire
698
00:44:21,365 --> 00:44:24,010
to play Santa at
your Christmas party, huh?
699
00:44:24,034 --> 00:44:26,053
I said, who's playing Santa
700
00:44:26,077 --> 00:44:27,512
at your fucked-up
Christmas party?
701
00:44:27,536 --> 00:44:30,432
I didn't hire a Santa.
702
00:44:30,456 --> 00:44:33,392
I never have a Santa.
It's tacky.
703
00:44:33,416 --> 00:44:34,768
So, who is he?
704
00:44:34,792 --> 00:44:37,604
♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride... ♪
705
00:44:37,628 --> 00:44:40,480
Huh? Who is he?
706
00:44:40,504 --> 00:44:42,024
Somebody better start talking,
707
00:44:42,048 --> 00:44:45,109
or I'm gonna bash
her brains in with this...
708
00:44:45,133 --> 00:44:49,720
Damn, Gertrude. You really got
a thing for nutcrackers, huh?
709
00:44:50,888 --> 00:44:54,742
So, I'm gonna torture
everyone in your family
710
00:44:54,766 --> 00:44:57,827
until you tell me who's
running around your mansion
711
00:44:57,851 --> 00:45:00,580
playing Santa
and fucking with my shit.
712
00:45:00,604 --> 00:45:02,581
And who should I pick first?
713
00:45:02,605 --> 00:45:03,999
Should I go by age?
714
00:45:04,023 --> 00:45:05,667
Shh.
715
00:45:05,691 --> 00:45:07,335
Or should I go by IQ?
716
00:45:07,359 --> 00:45:10,795
Pick Jason.
He's my mom's favorite.
717
00:45:10,819 --> 00:45:12,839
- Yep. Him.
- The one in the sweater.
718
00:45:12,863 --> 00:45:15,215
All right.
Jason Lightstone it is.
719
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:16,467
- The number one son.
- No.
720
00:45:16,491 --> 00:45:17,968
Wait, wait, wait.
No, we don't need...
721
00:45:17,992 --> 00:45:19,385
We don't need to do that.
No, it's okay.
722
00:45:19,409 --> 00:45:21,554
No. No, no, no.
We don't need to do this.
723
00:45:21,578 --> 00:45:22,764
No. No, no, no, no.
724
00:45:22,788 --> 00:45:24,264
Don't, don't, don't.
725
00:45:24,288 --> 00:45:26,558
- No, don't... Put it...
- Don't... No. -
726
00:45:26,582 --> 00:45:28,768
- No, no, no, no. No, no.
- Give me this fucking...
727
00:45:37,799 --> 00:45:40,486
I'm telling you,
no one hired a Santa.
728
00:45:40,510 --> 00:45:42,111
All right, all right,
all right. You're right.
729
00:45:42,135 --> 00:45:43,154
You're right.
Let's stop it. Let's stop it.
730
00:45:43,178 --> 00:45:45,281
What are we doing here? Come on.
731
00:45:45,305 --> 00:45:48,367
What are we, amateurs?
We're half-assing this.
732
00:45:48,391 --> 00:45:51,518
Come on. It's not called
a finger cracker.
733
00:45:52,727 --> 00:45:54,663
Okay, Candy Cane.
734
00:45:54,687 --> 00:45:56,039
Stick one of his bozaks
in there.
735
00:45:56,063 --> 00:45:57,248
I'm not touching his balls.
736
00:45:57,272 --> 00:45:58,958
What, are you a princess
all of a sudden?
737
00:45:58,982 --> 00:46:00,584
I've seen you
scoop out brains before.
738
00:46:00,608 --> 00:46:02,044
You want me
to scoop his brains out,
739
00:46:02,068 --> 00:46:03,586
I'll scoop his brains out
right now,
740
00:46:03,610 --> 00:46:04,754
but I'm not touching his junk.
741
00:46:04,778 --> 00:46:06,172
I don't care who does it.
742
00:46:06,196 --> 00:46:07,756
I better be looking
at flat balls,
743
00:46:07,780 --> 00:46:09,007
like, in three seconds.
744
00:46:09,031 --> 00:46:11,593
I'll do it.
745
00:46:11,617 --> 00:46:12,885
Krampus. Perfect.
746
00:46:12,909 --> 00:46:14,261
Oh, not that guy. Not that guy.
747
00:46:14,285 --> 00:46:15,763
That's what I love
about sociopaths.
748
00:46:15,787 --> 00:46:17,055
Always up for trying new things.
749
00:46:17,079 --> 00:46:18,390
You don't need to do this, okay?
750
00:46:18,414 --> 00:46:20,308
No, it's all right.
Um... Oh, no.
751
00:46:20,332 --> 00:46:22,851
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
752
00:46:22,875 --> 00:46:25,395
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
753
00:46:26,962 --> 00:46:28,564
Put your nuts in.
754
00:46:28,588 --> 00:46:29,940
Yummy, yummy.
755
00:46:29,964 --> 00:46:32,693
Stop hurting my daddy...
756
00:46:32,717 --> 00:46:35,135
or Santa will get mad.
757
00:46:35,969 --> 00:46:38,155
Ah, what a cutie.
758
00:46:38,179 --> 00:46:40,240
So, what do we know
about Santa, little one?
759
00:46:40,264 --> 00:46:42,158
She doesn't know anything
about Santa.
760
00:46:43,058 --> 00:46:44,785
He wasn't asking you.
761
00:46:44,809 --> 00:46:47,204
She's playing make-believe.
762
00:46:47,228 --> 00:46:49,455
She's pretending
to talk to Santa.
763
00:46:49,479 --> 00:46:51,457
It's not pretend.
Santa's my friend,
764
00:46:51,481 --> 00:46:53,375
and he said
he's going to save us.
765
00:46:53,399 --> 00:46:54,459
No.
766
00:46:54,483 --> 00:46:56,711
- And beat you up.
- Oh, is he?
767
00:46:56,735 --> 00:46:59,255
I bet he'd come out of hiding
if you asked him to, huh?
768
00:46:59,279 --> 00:47:00,839
What do you say you come with me
769
00:47:00,863 --> 00:47:03,091
- and we play a little game
with him, huh? -No, no, no.
770
00:47:03,115 --> 00:47:04,467
Trudy, come on.
Tell him the truth now.
771
00:47:04,491 --> 00:47:06,301
- You aren't talking to Santa.
- Yes, I am.
772
00:47:06,325 --> 00:47:07,636
No, you're not. Come on, now.
773
00:47:07,660 --> 00:47:10,471
- Yes, I am. -Damn it, Trudy,
Santa isn't real!
774
00:47:18,710 --> 00:47:20,503
I'm sorry, honey.
775
00:47:21,463 --> 00:47:23,648
Santa's just a thing
adults tell kids
776
00:47:23,672 --> 00:47:25,883
to make them feel better, okay?
777
00:47:27,884 --> 00:47:29,987
Your mommy and I
give you the presents,
778
00:47:30,011 --> 00:47:31,988
and we say they're from Santa.
779
00:47:33,180 --> 00:47:34,741
He's not coming to save us.
780
00:47:34,765 --> 00:47:36,950
He doesn't exist.
781
00:47:36,974 --> 00:47:39,393
It's all made-up.
782
00:47:40,935 --> 00:47:42,705
- Really?
- Aw.
783
00:47:42,729 --> 00:47:45,540
What a way to find out
that there's no Santa.
784
00:47:45,564 --> 00:47:47,584
Hey, let's come back Easter
and ruin the Easter Bunny
785
00:47:47,608 --> 00:47:49,752
for her, too, huh?
786
00:47:49,776 --> 00:47:51,170
- Trudy!
- Come back here!
787
00:47:51,194 --> 00:47:52,629
- Stop her!
- Trudy! -Hey!
788
00:47:52,653 --> 00:47:54,130
You idiots, stay at your posts.
789
00:47:54,154 --> 00:47:55,590
Trudy!
790
00:47:55,614 --> 00:47:57,949
I'll find this little brat.
791
00:49:04,042 --> 00:49:05,459
Okay.
792
00:49:34,065 --> 00:49:37,043
Santa. Santa.
793
00:49:37,067 --> 00:49:38,920
Santa!
794
00:49:40,611 --> 00:49:42,446
This is Trudy.
795
00:49:43,281 --> 00:49:46,449
Are you okay, Santa?
796
00:49:48,534 --> 00:49:49,928
Hi. Hey.
797
00:49:49,952 --> 00:49:51,763
Are you okay?
798
00:49:51,787 --> 00:49:53,597
I'm good. Uh...
799
00:49:53,621 --> 00:49:55,975
I was just wrapping
something up.
800
00:49:55,999 --> 00:49:58,184
I ran away and hid in the attic.
801
00:49:58,208 --> 00:50:01,437
Okay. If you're safe...
802
00:50:01,461 --> 00:50:04,439
uh, just stay there
and, uh, stay quiet, all right?
803
00:50:04,463 --> 00:50:09,277
Okay. I can set up booby traps,
like in Home Alone.
804
00:50:09,301 --> 00:50:10,944
Okay, I don't know
what that means,
805
00:50:10,968 --> 00:50:12,654
but, uh, yeah, do that.
806
00:50:12,678 --> 00:50:14,597
Just do it quietly.
807
00:50:15,972 --> 00:50:17,950
Are you really Santa?
808
00:50:21,810 --> 00:50:23,811
Of course I am, sweetheart.
809
00:50:24,687 --> 00:50:27,565
My daddy says
there isn't any Santa.
810
00:50:28,982 --> 00:50:32,170
He says parents just tell
their kids that Santa's real
811
00:50:32,194 --> 00:50:33,879
to make them feel better.
812
00:50:33,903 --> 00:50:36,756
He said they give us presents
813
00:50:36,780 --> 00:50:39,049
and say they're from Santa.
814
00:50:39,073 --> 00:50:41,177
Yeah.
815
00:50:41,201 --> 00:50:43,428
Yeah, a lot of parents say that.
816
00:50:43,452 --> 00:50:47,496
But I still bring presents
to kids that need me.
817
00:50:48,789 --> 00:50:51,082
Kids who really believe.
818
00:50:52,334 --> 00:50:55,228
How do you know
who really needs you?
819
00:50:55,252 --> 00:50:57,439
Christmas magic.
820
00:50:57,463 --> 00:50:59,732
I'm not really sure
how it works.
821
00:51:07,554 --> 00:51:09,823
But, uh...
822
00:51:12,016 --> 00:51:15,119
I remember, um...
823
00:51:15,143 --> 00:51:17,037
when Trudy Lightstone
wrote to me.
824
00:51:17,061 --> 00:51:19,456
She must have been
about six years old,
825
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:23,292
and she said that
she felt lonely sometimes.
826
00:51:23,316 --> 00:51:25,710
She missed having a best friend.
827
00:51:25,734 --> 00:51:27,045
And so I brought her
828
00:51:27,069 --> 00:51:28,922
a beautiful little
stuffed rabbit.
829
00:51:28,946 --> 00:51:30,297
Mr. Bunny.
830
00:51:30,321 --> 00:51:32,257
And then I remember
the next year,
831
00:51:32,281 --> 00:51:34,383
and you said you had
this amazing dream
832
00:51:34,407 --> 00:51:38,429
and that, afterwards,
all you wanted to do was...
833
00:51:38,453 --> 00:51:39,679
To fly!
834
00:51:39,703 --> 00:51:42,122
To fly. To fly.
835
00:51:43,373 --> 00:51:47,810
I mean, Santa might have
some magic, but...
836
00:51:47,834 --> 00:51:51,546
making a little girl fly?
837
00:51:53,714 --> 00:51:57,777
But giving you a kite,
838
00:51:57,801 --> 00:52:01,238
floating just beneath
the clouds,
839
00:52:01,262 --> 00:52:04,074
well, it's about
as good as it gets.
840
00:52:04,098 --> 00:52:05,950
I knew it.
841
00:52:05,974 --> 00:52:08,351
I knew you were real, Santa.
842
00:52:10,894 --> 00:52:14,063
Don't be too hard
on your parents, all right?
843
00:52:15,815 --> 00:52:18,650
Grown-ups have a hard time
believing things.
844
00:52:19,484 --> 00:52:21,754
Can you use your Christmas magic
845
00:52:21,778 --> 00:52:24,089
to make them
love each other again?
846
00:52:24,113 --> 00:52:26,657
I wish I had that kind of power.
847
00:52:27,448 --> 00:52:31,178
Mrs. Claus and I have been
going on year, uh,
848
00:52:31,202 --> 00:52:33,495
1,100, and...
849
00:52:34,371 --> 00:52:37,206
Grown-up relationships
are complicated.
850
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:40,227
It takes work.
851
00:52:40,251 --> 00:52:42,377
A lot of work.
852
00:52:44,504 --> 00:52:46,898
Do you still love her?
853
00:52:46,922 --> 00:52:48,757
Yeah, I do.
854
00:52:49,716 --> 00:52:53,261
And sometimes, even if you want
to make somebody happy...
855
00:52:54,469 --> 00:52:56,763
the magic just goes away.
856
00:52:58,806 --> 00:53:01,118
Hey.
857
00:53:01,142 --> 00:53:02,910
I've got an idea.
858
00:53:02,934 --> 00:53:04,561
This will be fun.
859
00:53:05,603 --> 00:53:08,832
Why don't you guys
open your presents?
860
00:53:08,856 --> 00:53:13,127
I want to see what you
rich assholes get each other.
861
00:53:13,151 --> 00:53:19,090
And some of you might not
make it till tomorrow morning,
862
00:53:19,114 --> 00:53:22,116
so this could be
your only chance.
863
00:53:22,950 --> 00:53:24,386
Come on.
864
00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:27,162
Where's the Christmas spirit?
865
00:53:28,705 --> 00:53:30,789
Uh...
866
00:53:31,665 --> 00:53:36,061
Gertrude, uh, I got you
something pretty special.
867
00:53:36,085 --> 00:53:37,396
Did you hear that, Gertrude?
868
00:53:37,420 --> 00:53:39,355
He got you something amazing.
869
00:53:39,379 --> 00:53:42,274
Oh, what could it be?
870
00:53:42,298 --> 00:53:44,693
Oh, my God, this is exciting.
871
00:53:44,717 --> 00:53:46,902
Mom.
872
00:53:46,926 --> 00:53:48,636
Can I call you Mom?
873
00:53:49,846 --> 00:53:51,472
Mrs. Lightstone.
874
00:53:53,307 --> 00:53:56,684
Okay, so in the business,
they call this...
875
00:53:57,685 --> 00:53:59,145
a pitch deck.
876
00:54:00,062 --> 00:54:01,122
- Pitch deck.
- Yeah.
877
00:54:01,146 --> 00:54:02,915
It's called Explosive Force.
878
00:54:02,939 --> 00:54:04,458
Starring me.
879
00:54:04,482 --> 00:54:06,209
And if you look in the back,
880
00:54:06,233 --> 00:54:09,670
there are the financial numbers.
881
00:54:09,694 --> 00:54:13,238
I'm kind of a big deal in Asia.
882
00:54:14,490 --> 00:54:16,634
Parts of Asia, at least.
883
00:54:16,658 --> 00:54:18,719
We were in parts of Asia once,
and, like,
884
00:54:18,743 --> 00:54:20,471
we couldn't even go
to a restaurant.
885
00:54:20,495 --> 00:54:23,973
Ah, what is there
a better gift than...
886
00:54:23,997 --> 00:54:27,333
gift of a golden opportunity?
887
00:54:28,667 --> 00:54:30,895
Oh, no.
888
00:54:32,170 --> 00:54:34,607
Granny doesn't like it.
889
00:54:34,631 --> 00:54:37,257
Mother, I got you something
really special.
890
00:54:43,513 --> 00:54:46,157
It's a sentimental photo
of the day I was born.
891
00:54:46,181 --> 00:54:48,201
I remember.
892
00:54:48,225 --> 00:54:49,576
I was there.
893
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,828
She doesn't give a shit.
894
00:54:54,312 --> 00:54:55,998
Swing and miss again!
895
00:54:56,022 --> 00:54:57,290
This is so fun.
896
00:54:57,314 --> 00:54:58,500
Mommy, how about another one?
897
00:54:58,524 --> 00:55:00,210
I got you a lot of good things.
898
00:55:00,234 --> 00:55:02,252
- I'll grab one.
- Alva, Alva, sit down.
899
00:55:02,276 --> 00:55:04,004
You've already given me one.
It's...
900
00:55:04,028 --> 00:55:05,255
It's Jason's turn.
901
00:55:05,279 --> 00:55:06,672
Uh...
902
00:55:06,696 --> 00:55:10,134
I th... I-I think
I left it in the car.
903
00:55:10,158 --> 00:55:12,386
No, I-I saw you put one
under the tree earlier.
904
00:55:12,410 --> 00:55:14,762
- No. It's in the...
- Yeah, I did.
905
00:55:14,786 --> 00:55:17,848
I could've sworn.
You know what, it's, uh...
906
00:55:17,872 --> 00:55:19,933
Y-You don't... you don't...
you don't... you...
907
00:55:19,957 --> 00:55:22,560
It's this one, right?
Yeah, I got you, bro.
908
00:55:22,584 --> 00:55:24,019
Come on.
909
00:55:25,795 --> 00:55:27,839
Thank you.
910
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:31,067
It's my favorite whiskey.
911
00:55:31,091 --> 00:55:33,759
You can skip the note.
912
00:55:57,111 --> 00:55:58,863
Thank you, Jason.
913
00:56:04,241 --> 00:56:06,553
What's the card say?
914
00:56:06,577 --> 00:56:09,471
I think I'll just keep that
between Jason and I.
915
00:56:09,495 --> 00:56:13,623
No one really needs to know.
Right, Jason?
916
00:56:16,084 --> 00:56:17,793
Right.
917
00:56:18,752 --> 00:56:21,105
Did you ever have
a mommy and daddy?
918
00:56:22,922 --> 00:56:24,942
Yeah, of course
I had a mommy and daddy.
919
00:56:24,966 --> 00:56:28,635
I wasn't...
I wasn't always Santa Claus.
920
00:56:29,470 --> 00:56:31,762
I had a life before this.
921
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:35,432
A long, long, long time ago.
922
00:56:39,602 --> 00:56:42,706
They used to call me, uh...
923
00:56:42,730 --> 00:56:44,623
Nicomund.
924
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:50,003
Nicomund the Red.
925
00:56:51,612 --> 00:56:54,339
You had a different job then?
926
00:56:54,363 --> 00:56:57,091
Yeah, you could say that.
927
00:56:57,115 --> 00:56:58,968
I was a warrior.
928
00:56:58,992 --> 00:57:01,052
A raider. A thief.
929
00:57:01,076 --> 00:57:04,848
And if somebody got in my way,
930
00:57:04,872 --> 00:57:06,599
me and Skullcrusher would...
931
00:57:06,623 --> 00:57:08,291
Who's Skullcrusher?
932
00:57:09,125 --> 00:57:12,228
Skullcrusher's my, uh...
933
00:57:12,252 --> 00:57:14,938
my hammer.
934
00:57:14,962 --> 00:57:17,191
My favorite hammer.
935
00:57:17,215 --> 00:57:19,567
I was a surgeon with that thing.
936
00:57:19,591 --> 00:57:22,028
Used to be able to take
three heads, line 'em up...
937
00:57:23,636 --> 00:57:26,198
But why?
938
00:57:26,222 --> 00:57:27,656
What?
939
00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:30,308
Why'd you do those things?
940
00:57:32,267 --> 00:57:34,353
Because I was mean.
941
00:57:35,521 --> 00:57:37,647
And I was greedy.
942
00:57:39,482 --> 00:57:42,251
And I wanted gold, jewels.
943
00:57:42,275 --> 00:57:44,961
Yeah, I mean, if there was
a naughty list back then,
944
00:57:44,985 --> 00:57:46,987
I'd be top dog.
945
00:57:48,572 --> 00:57:50,698
Well, maybe...
946
00:57:51,699 --> 00:57:52,885
What?
947
00:57:52,909 --> 00:57:55,035
Maybe all those bad things
you used to do...
948
00:57:56,119 --> 00:57:59,413
maybe you can use them
to do good things instead.
949
00:58:00,206 --> 00:58:02,475
To help.
950
00:58:02,499 --> 00:58:04,393
What do you mean?
951
00:58:04,417 --> 00:58:08,772
Mr. Bunny, he wasn't just a toy.
952
00:58:08,796 --> 00:58:12,191
That night, you gave me
what I wished for.
953
00:58:12,215 --> 00:58:14,092
A best friend.
954
00:58:15,134 --> 00:58:17,737
'Cause you're good and kind.
955
00:58:17,761 --> 00:58:21,323
And you mean more than just
the presents you bring.
956
00:58:21,347 --> 00:58:23,992
That's why I believe in you,
Santa.
957
00:58:24,016 --> 00:58:26,434
That's why I believe.
958
00:58:32,022 --> 00:58:33,690
Thank you.
959
00:58:35,525 --> 00:58:39,462
You stay hidden, Trudy,
till I come get you.
960
00:58:39,486 --> 00:58:41,405
Stay safe.
961
00:58:42,363 --> 00:58:45,259
All right,
we got satellite confirmation.
962
00:58:45,283 --> 00:58:47,385
Extraction team's on the go.
963
00:58:47,409 --> 00:58:49,679
30 minutes.
964
00:58:49,703 --> 00:58:51,346
We're on schedule.
965
00:58:51,370 --> 00:58:52,764
Everything's good.
966
00:58:52,788 --> 00:58:54,349
All right, fellas.
967
00:58:54,373 --> 00:58:55,766
Look alive, look alive.
968
00:58:55,790 --> 00:58:57,685
You all know the plan,
969
00:58:57,709 --> 00:59:01,062
and I like my operations
like I like to fuck:
970
00:59:01,086 --> 00:59:03,856
hard and fast
with minimal cleanup.
971
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:08,402
Now, some idiot gets
in your way, what do you do?
972
00:59:08,426 --> 00:59:10,486
Fuck their shit up right!
973
00:59:10,510 --> 00:59:12,178
Damn right.
974
00:59:12,971 --> 00:59:15,681
Time to lube up.
975
00:59:16,807 --> 00:59:19,517
Let's go, motherfuckers!
Let's go!
976
00:59:25,439 --> 00:59:27,690
This fucking family.
977
00:59:46,955 --> 00:59:49,182
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
978
00:59:49,206 --> 00:59:50,976
Merry Christmas.
979
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:52,227
Happy holidays.
980
00:59:52,251 --> 00:59:53,352
Traitor.
981
00:59:54,836 --> 00:59:56,814
I got him in the east wing.
982
00:59:56,838 --> 00:59:59,274
All right,
we're on our way. Hold him.
983
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:14,602
Step aside.
984
01:00:28,111 --> 01:00:30,882
Now, how did this tired, old,
985
01:00:30,906 --> 01:00:33,550
fat piece of shit
get the drop on us?
986
01:00:33,574 --> 01:00:35,010
I don't know.
987
01:00:35,034 --> 01:00:37,011
He's not even armed.
988
01:00:37,035 --> 01:00:39,430
This bag is the only thing
he had on him.
989
01:00:39,454 --> 01:00:40,872
What's in there?
990
01:00:41,622 --> 01:00:43,666
Can't see anything.
991
01:00:47,752 --> 01:00:49,212
Here, give it to me.
992
01:01:00,303 --> 01:01:02,782
What kind of moron...
993
01:01:02,806 --> 01:01:05,057
carries a chess set with him?
994
01:01:08,685 --> 01:01:10,204
What the fuck?
995
01:01:10,228 --> 01:01:12,747
Doesn't make any sense.
Look at all this shit.
996
01:01:19,985 --> 01:01:22,963
So, you're gonna tell us what's
the gimmick with the bag?
997
01:01:22,987 --> 01:01:24,632
It's magic.
998
01:01:24,656 --> 01:01:27,574
You put your hand in,
out comes a present.
999
01:01:29,159 --> 01:01:31,911
I don't really understand
how it works, either.
1000
01:01:33,287 --> 01:01:36,307
So, you're Mr. Scrooge.
1001
01:01:36,331 --> 01:01:38,309
That's right.
1002
01:01:38,333 --> 01:01:40,102
But who are you?
1003
01:01:40,126 --> 01:01:42,169
Weihnachtsmann.
1004
01:01:43,545 --> 01:01:45,505
Julenissen.
1005
01:01:46,381 --> 01:01:48,298
Shèngdàn Laorén.
1006
01:01:49,133 --> 01:01:52,319
Babbo Natale, Père Noel,
Kris Kringle.
1007
01:01:52,343 --> 01:01:54,822
Jolly old Saint Nick.
1008
01:01:54,846 --> 01:01:57,889
People call me a lot of things.
1009
01:01:58,724 --> 01:02:01,326
Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.
1010
01:02:01,350 --> 01:02:03,704
Or should I say, "Ho, ho, ho"?
1011
01:02:03,728 --> 01:02:07,289
If you're Santa,
where's your reindeer?
1012
01:02:07,313 --> 01:02:09,125
They were on the roof
1013
01:02:09,149 --> 01:02:11,751
until that guy I turned
into an ice kebab just...
1014
01:02:14,402 --> 01:02:16,004
You don't believe me?
1015
01:02:16,028 --> 01:02:17,131
Go check.
1016
01:02:17,155 --> 01:02:19,882
Prancer left
a tasty log up there.
1017
01:02:19,906 --> 01:02:21,718
This fucking guy.
1018
01:02:21,742 --> 01:02:23,427
You don't think...
1019
01:02:23,451 --> 01:02:26,596
Now, I know you're an idiot,
but don't be an idiot out loud.
1020
01:02:26,620 --> 01:02:28,681
Come on,
he's just in Santy Claus
1021
01:02:28,705 --> 01:02:30,683
with a fucking trick bag.
1022
01:02:30,707 --> 01:02:32,684
Oh, no!
1023
01:02:32,708 --> 01:02:34,519
That bag was full
of kids' dreams!
1024
01:02:34,543 --> 01:02:36,311
Oh, come on.
1025
01:02:36,335 --> 01:02:38,629
Everybody knows that
Christmas dreams are bullshit.
1026
01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:42,024
My father used to make
a big deal out of it
1027
01:02:42,048 --> 01:02:43,818
every Christmas.
1028
01:02:43,842 --> 01:02:45,986
Every freaking Christmas
with the presents
1029
01:02:46,010 --> 01:02:48,196
and the candy
and the decorations
1030
01:02:48,220 --> 01:02:52,015
and the Christmas caroling
and all that bullshit.
1031
01:02:53,391 --> 01:02:55,660
And then when I was...
1032
01:02:55,684 --> 01:02:59,079
I don't know, ten, 11,
1033
01:02:59,103 --> 01:03:01,039
he got laid off,
and that Christmas,
1034
01:03:01,063 --> 01:03:02,540
couldn't even afford a tree.
1035
01:03:02,564 --> 01:03:04,083
No Christmas dinner, no gifts.
1036
01:03:04,107 --> 01:03:06,735
Nothing, nada, culo, dick.
1037
01:03:07,526 --> 01:03:08,879
But our neighbors...
1038
01:03:08,903 --> 01:03:10,756
our neighbors,
oh, they had it all.
1039
01:03:10,780 --> 01:03:12,548
I could see
all that yuletide cheer
1040
01:03:12,572 --> 01:03:15,092
through their window mocking me.
1041
01:03:15,116 --> 01:03:19,012
So Christmas Eve
rolls around, and...
1042
01:03:19,036 --> 01:03:22,055
I waited for everybody
to go to bed.
1043
01:03:22,079 --> 01:03:25,415
And then I snuck in there
to take it all.
1044
01:03:26,416 --> 01:03:28,935
Only problem was that
the gramps got up to take a piss
1045
01:03:28,959 --> 01:03:31,354
and the two of us scared
the shit out of each other.
1046
01:03:31,378 --> 01:03:34,398
And, um, he fell down the stairs
1047
01:03:34,422 --> 01:03:38,943
and-and broke his neck,
and he died in the hospital.
1048
01:03:38,967 --> 01:03:40,570
Everybody thought that I did it,
1049
01:03:40,594 --> 01:03:42,071
and every time
I tried to tell them,
1050
01:03:42,095 --> 01:03:44,597
I tried to tell them that...
1051
01:03:46,057 --> 01:03:48,409
Anyway, maybe I did do it.
1052
01:03:48,433 --> 01:03:50,453
Maybe I did push him.
1053
01:03:50,477 --> 01:03:52,245
Poor old fucker.
1054
01:03:52,269 --> 01:03:55,748
So, you see,
Christmas ruined my life.
1055
01:03:55,772 --> 01:03:57,416
Okay? But you know what?
1056
01:03:57,440 --> 01:03:58,751
It set me on the path
1057
01:03:58,775 --> 01:04:00,794
and made me the great man
that I am today.
1058
01:04:00,818 --> 01:04:02,861
I'm sorry, Jimmy.
1059
01:04:03,654 --> 01:04:05,196
I really am.
1060
01:04:06,030 --> 01:04:08,050
But I do gifts.
I do Christmas cheer.
1061
01:04:08,074 --> 01:04:10,259
I don't get involved
in people's lives.
1062
01:04:10,283 --> 01:04:14,161
Oh, yeah? Yeah, well,
maybe you fucking should!
1063
01:04:18,665 --> 01:04:21,811
Um, how did he know your name?
1064
01:04:21,835 --> 01:04:23,520
Oh, Bjorn.
1065
01:04:23,544 --> 01:04:25,647
What's your excuse?
1066
01:04:25,671 --> 01:04:27,231
Huh?
1067
01:04:27,255 --> 01:04:30,567
Didn't I get you that Huffy bike
you wanted back in '82?
1068
01:04:30,591 --> 01:04:33,778
One you wrote me 50 times about!
1069
01:04:33,802 --> 01:04:35,278
What about you, Kira?
1070
01:04:35,302 --> 01:04:38,448
Well, you made your brother
eat worms.
1071
01:04:38,472 --> 01:04:39,949
That's naughty!
1072
01:04:39,973 --> 01:04:41,867
Okay, how does he know
about my bike?
1073
01:04:41,891 --> 01:04:45,286
It's a lucky guess, like:
"Hey, do you like big tits?"
1074
01:04:45,310 --> 01:04:47,497
Come on, every kid wants
a fucking bike.
1075
01:04:47,521 --> 01:04:50,624
- You're gonna tell me who you
work for... -Oh, Christ. No.
1076
01:04:50,648 --> 01:04:53,918
Then you've got five seconds
to tell me who you really are.
1077
01:04:53,942 --> 01:04:56,754
Five, four, three, two...
1078
01:04:56,778 --> 01:04:58,463
I'm Santa Claus!
1079
01:04:58,487 --> 01:05:00,781
Well, not anymore.
1080
01:05:25,675 --> 01:05:27,486
Is it snowing?
1081
01:05:27,510 --> 01:05:30,929
Is he doing this
with Santa magic?
1082
01:05:37,434 --> 01:05:39,811
Let it snow!
1083
01:05:51,528 --> 01:05:53,506
It's not snow.
1084
01:05:53,530 --> 01:05:54,840
It's Styrofoam.
1085
01:05:54,864 --> 01:05:57,092
I told you this guy's
a big phony.
1086
01:06:11,544 --> 01:06:13,396
Where'd he go?
1087
01:06:13,420 --> 01:06:15,023
He went up the chimney.
1088
01:06:15,047 --> 01:06:16,690
- I saw it.
- I don't know,
1089
01:06:16,714 --> 01:06:18,525
he had a rig
or some pulley system
1090
01:06:18,549 --> 01:06:20,527
- that just yanked him up.
- You can't fit up there.
1091
01:06:20,551 --> 01:06:22,236
- It's impossible.
- Oh, you see one weird thing,
1092
01:06:22,260 --> 01:06:24,572
and then you think
you're in a fairy tale?
1093
01:06:24,596 --> 01:06:25,864
Incoming.
1094
01:06:25,888 --> 01:06:26,741
We've got sleigh bells
approaching.
1095
01:06:26,765 --> 01:06:28,533
Oh, my God.
1096
01:06:28,557 --> 01:06:30,433
It's his reindeer.
1097
01:06:32,060 --> 01:06:34,038
It's the extraction team.
1098
01:06:34,062 --> 01:06:36,247
Pull yourselves together!
1099
01:06:51,200 --> 01:06:55,471
And that is the sound
of my Kill Squad.
1100
01:06:56,954 --> 01:06:59,015
Oh, you're fizzity-fucked now.
1101
01:06:59,039 --> 01:07:01,224
Huh? What are you gonna do?
You little elf bitch.
1102
01:07:01,248 --> 01:07:02,684
Fu...
1103
01:07:02,708 --> 01:07:03,852
Bertie.
1104
01:07:03,876 --> 01:07:05,394
Hashtag "blessed."
1105
01:07:08,463 --> 01:07:11,066
Yeah!
1106
01:07:11,090 --> 01:07:12,067
Parkour.
1107
01:07:12,091 --> 01:07:13,234
Kill him, babe!
1108
01:07:13,258 --> 01:07:15,927
Oh!
1109
01:07:16,803 --> 01:07:18,428
Morgan's gonna save us.
1110
01:07:20,180 --> 01:07:23,933
Jean-Claude Van Dipshit
just ditched us, sweetie.
1111
01:07:30,939 --> 01:07:32,916
Hold your fire.
1112
01:07:32,940 --> 01:07:34,542
Barrel roll!
1113
01:07:36,275 --> 01:07:37,544
Easy, easy.
1114
01:07:37,568 --> 01:07:39,463
- Yeah!
- Easy.
1115
01:07:39,487 --> 01:07:40,755
Identify yourself.
1116
01:07:40,779 --> 01:07:43,132
I'm one of the hostages.
1117
01:07:43,156 --> 01:07:46,259
Morgan Steel, the actor.
1118
01:07:46,283 --> 01:07:49,261
Played a lot of soldiers
in my career.
1119
01:07:49,285 --> 01:07:52,872
Can I just say, thank you
for your service. Semper fi.
1120
01:07:53,706 --> 01:07:55,600
What's the situation inside?
1121
01:07:55,624 --> 01:07:58,019
Bunch of ex-military guys,
1122
01:07:58,043 --> 01:08:00,020
but I got to warn you,
they know you're coming.
1123
01:08:00,044 --> 01:08:01,689
I think they're ready for you.
1124
01:08:01,713 --> 01:08:03,523
They better be.
1125
01:08:03,547 --> 01:08:05,608
We're on a tight schedule.
1126
01:08:05,632 --> 01:08:07,466
Shit.
1127
01:08:10,803 --> 01:08:12,905
Oh, f...
1128
01:08:12,929 --> 01:08:16,223
- All right, let's move out.
- Let's move out.
1129
01:08:20,393 --> 01:08:21,996
Come on.
1130
01:08:22,020 --> 01:08:24,206
You got to be kidding me.
1131
01:08:24,230 --> 01:08:25,915
Hey, Thorp,
you're ten minutes late.
1132
01:08:25,939 --> 01:08:27,291
What kept you?
1133
01:08:27,315 --> 01:08:29,626
Looks to me like your net's
got a hole in it.
1134
01:08:29,650 --> 01:08:32,087
Or are you just letting your
hostages out for some exercise?
1135
01:08:32,111 --> 01:08:34,338
No, no, no. We got
a wild gopher running around
1136
01:08:34,362 --> 01:08:36,924
complicating shit
and causing problems.
1137
01:08:36,948 --> 01:08:38,508
Who? Lightstone security?
1138
01:08:38,532 --> 01:08:40,093
Nah, I don't think so.
Some intruder dressed as Santa.
1139
01:08:40,117 --> 01:08:41,511
But I'm telling you,
I'm telling you,
1140
01:08:41,535 --> 01:08:43,721
there's something weird
about him.
1141
01:08:43,745 --> 01:08:45,347
Might be the real Santa.
1142
01:08:45,371 --> 01:08:47,807
- The fuck did she just say?
- Nothing, nothing.
1143
01:08:47,831 --> 01:08:48,891
She's joking.
1144
01:08:48,915 --> 01:08:51,417
My squad will take care of it.
1145
01:08:53,794 --> 01:08:56,480
Beta Team, go find this asshole.
1146
01:08:56,504 --> 01:08:58,482
Go.
1147
01:08:58,506 --> 01:09:02,819
Now, let's unwrap our present,
shall we?
1148
01:09:02,843 --> 01:09:05,070
All right, you heard the man.
1149
01:09:05,094 --> 01:09:07,698
Time to kill Santa.
1150
01:09:07,722 --> 01:09:10,158
I've got him. He's on the roof.
1151
01:09:10,182 --> 01:09:12,476
Roger that. I got eyes on him.
1152
01:09:29,864 --> 01:09:31,841
Right, Sugarplum.
Hit that button.
1153
01:09:38,829 --> 01:09:40,681
Here we go.
1154
01:09:40,705 --> 01:09:42,058
Our skeleton key.
1155
01:09:42,082 --> 01:09:43,934
The "open" magic stick.
1156
01:09:43,958 --> 01:09:45,643
This better fucking work.
1157
01:09:45,667 --> 01:09:48,313
I'm flushing my career for this,
my reputation.
1158
01:09:48,337 --> 01:09:51,130
Yeah, well, then you can
buy yourself a new rep.
1159
01:10:00,054 --> 01:10:01,531
As a kid, I loved
1160
01:10:01,555 --> 01:10:03,574
unwrapping Christmas presents
so much
1161
01:10:03,598 --> 01:10:06,558
that my mom would wrap
empty boxes for me.
1162
01:10:07,476 --> 01:10:09,895
I didn't care
that nothing was inside.
1163
01:10:21,862 --> 01:10:24,423
Is this a fucking joke?
1164
01:10:24,447 --> 01:10:25,657
No.
1165
01:10:27,033 --> 01:10:28,927
You said it would
fucking be here!
1166
01:10:28,951 --> 01:10:32,554
I'm telling you,
my intel was rock solid.
1167
01:10:32,578 --> 01:10:34,872
I had guys on the inside.
1168
01:10:35,915 --> 01:10:39,602
300 million in cash
was delivered here yesterday
1169
01:10:39,626 --> 01:10:41,919
to this fucking mansion.
1170
01:10:46,923 --> 01:10:49,592
Somebody must've intercepted it.
1171
01:10:53,595 --> 01:10:55,638
Son of a bitch.
1172
01:11:18,030 --> 01:11:19,550
Oh, shit.
1173
01:11:19,574 --> 01:11:22,093
Santa, you okay?
1174
01:11:22,117 --> 01:11:23,678
Santa.
1175
01:11:23,702 --> 01:11:25,971
A bunch of new bad guys
showed up.
1176
01:11:25,995 --> 01:11:27,764
They're on the naughty list.
1177
01:11:27,788 --> 01:11:30,790
They got their gadgets
and their gizmos on them.
1178
01:11:31,624 --> 01:11:34,186
I'm sorry.
I think this is it, kid.
1179
01:11:34,210 --> 01:11:35,979
No, no, don't say that.
1180
01:11:36,003 --> 01:11:37,981
The naughty list...
1181
01:11:38,005 --> 01:11:40,423
just grows and grows.
1182
01:11:49,138 --> 01:11:52,950
He's in that structure.
Body cams on.
1183
01:11:52,974 --> 01:11:55,035
Don't give up.
1184
01:11:55,059 --> 01:11:57,620
You make a wish this time,
Santa.
1185
01:11:57,644 --> 01:11:59,247
Just this once.
1186
01:11:59,271 --> 01:12:02,166
If you could have anything
in this world,
1187
01:12:02,190 --> 01:12:04,442
what would it be?
1188
01:12:10,154 --> 01:12:13,175
I wish I could see
Mrs. Claus again,
1189
01:12:13,199 --> 01:12:16,302
tell her how much I love her.
1190
01:12:16,326 --> 01:12:19,137
Then you make
that wish come true.
1191
01:12:19,161 --> 01:12:21,306
Oh, shit.
1192
01:12:21,330 --> 01:12:23,640
No, no, no, no. No, no.
1193
01:12:25,416 --> 01:12:26,810
Oh, God.
1194
01:12:26,834 --> 01:12:29,669
No.
1195
01:12:42,054 --> 01:12:45,032
You said these guys,
they're naughty.
1196
01:12:45,056 --> 01:12:47,993
And what do you do
to the naughty ones?
1197
01:12:48,017 --> 01:12:49,869
I give them a lump of coal.
1198
01:12:49,893 --> 01:12:52,145
Yeah. Give them their lumps.
1199
01:12:53,355 --> 01:12:55,624
Take that coal and shove it
straight up their...
1200
01:12:55,648 --> 01:12:57,876
- Anuses.
- Yeah!
1201
01:13:03,862 --> 01:13:05,506
They're right outside.
1202
01:13:19,708 --> 01:13:22,186
Santa's gonna eat
through these guys
1203
01:13:22,210 --> 01:13:24,337
like a plate full of cookies.
1204
01:13:28,882 --> 01:13:30,258
Move, move.
1205
01:13:33,927 --> 01:13:35,720
Hey, lock it up.
1206
01:13:37,639 --> 01:13:39,473
Lights down.
1207
01:13:40,641 --> 01:13:42,534
Stay at my back.
1208
01:13:42,558 --> 01:13:44,662
All right, we got this, boys.
1209
01:14:03,534 --> 01:14:05,886
All right, where the fuck
is my money?!
1210
01:14:05,910 --> 01:14:08,288
Where's the money?!
1211
01:14:18,920 --> 01:14:21,816
All right, I've been
a sweetheart up to now.
1212
01:14:21,840 --> 01:14:23,275
But that's all over.
1213
01:14:23,299 --> 01:14:25,068
No more fucking games!
1214
01:14:25,092 --> 01:14:26,568
Where's the money?
1215
01:14:26,592 --> 01:14:29,637
Or I will shoot every last
one of you and enjoy it.
1216
01:14:33,765 --> 01:14:36,493
- It's in the vault.
- I just looked in the vault.
1217
01:14:36,517 --> 01:14:37,911
Had the money been in there,
1218
01:14:37,935 --> 01:14:39,745
I'd have a different
expression on my face.
1219
01:14:39,769 --> 01:14:41,122
Impossible.
1220
01:14:41,146 --> 01:14:43,207
Takes days to get
into that thing.
1221
01:14:43,231 --> 01:14:46,734
Not if we have the key,
Mrs. Lightstone.
1222
01:14:48,110 --> 01:14:50,129
Thorp.
1223
01:14:51,529 --> 01:14:54,090
You can't trust anyone
these days.
1224
01:14:54,114 --> 01:14:56,259
I'm not sure how, but you
1225
01:14:56,283 --> 01:14:59,136
or one of your shithead kids
moved the money.
1226
01:14:59,160 --> 01:15:01,013
And this upsets me.
1227
01:15:01,037 --> 01:15:02,847
It upsets me
1228
01:15:02,871 --> 01:15:06,874
in a way that makes me want to
just randomly shoot at people.
1229
01:15:07,875 --> 01:15:10,061
Hold on. Just... Sorry.
1230
01:15:10,085 --> 01:15:11,478
- Um...
- What? What?
1231
01:15:11,502 --> 01:15:12,855
Uh, what if you randomly shoot
1232
01:15:12,879 --> 01:15:15,464
the only person
who knows where it is?
1233
01:15:16,465 --> 01:15:18,776
Oh, fuck you people!
1234
01:15:23,387 --> 01:15:28,474
♪ We waited
all through the year ♪
1235
01:15:29,350 --> 01:15:34,371
♪ For the day to appear ♪
1236
01:15:36,272 --> 01:15:42,044
♪ When we could be together ♪
1237
01:15:42,068 --> 01:15:44,546
♪ In harmony ♪
1238
01:15:45,820 --> 01:15:48,132
♪ You know the time will come ♪
1239
01:15:51,116 --> 01:15:53,428
♪ Peace on Earth for everyone ♪
1240
01:15:53,452 --> 01:15:55,012
Suck on this.
1241
01:15:59,456 --> 01:16:04,311
♪ And we can live forever ♪
1242
01:16:04,335 --> 01:16:07,564
♪ In a world where we are free ♪
1243
01:16:07,588 --> 01:16:10,649
♪ Let it shine for you and me ♪
1244
01:16:10,673 --> 01:16:13,818
♪ There's something
about Christmastime ♪
1245
01:16:13,842 --> 01:16:16,987
♪ Something about
Christmastime ♪
1246
01:16:17,011 --> 01:16:19,990
♪ That makes you wish it was
Christmas every day... ♪
1247
01:16:20,014 --> 01:16:21,491
I need some feedback, guys.
1248
01:16:23,100 --> 01:16:25,060
Guys, what the hell is going on?
1249
01:16:25,851 --> 01:16:28,663
♪ The way that
the old folks smile ♪
1250
01:16:28,687 --> 01:16:33,316
♪ Says that Christmas
will never go away ♪
1251
01:16:34,858 --> 01:16:39,671
♪ We're all as one tonight ♪
1252
01:16:39,695 --> 01:16:44,384
♪ Makes no difference
if you're Black or white ♪
1253
01:16:47,327 --> 01:16:50,013
♪ 'Cause we can sing together ♪
1254
01:16:52,539 --> 01:16:54,749
♪ In harmony ♪
1255
01:16:56,667 --> 01:17:01,438
♪ I know it's not too late ♪
1256
01:17:01,462 --> 01:17:04,400
♪ The world would be ♪
1257
01:17:04,424 --> 01:17:07,843
♪ A better place ♪
1258
01:17:10,052 --> 01:17:11,446
- What's that?
- Huh?
1259
01:17:11,470 --> 01:17:13,532
♪ If we can keep the spirit ♪
1260
01:17:15,557 --> 01:17:17,868
♪ More than one day
in the year ♪
1261
01:17:17,892 --> 01:17:22,271
♪ Send a message
loud and clear ♪
1262
01:17:23,563 --> 01:17:26,458
♪ There's something
about Christmastime ♪
1263
01:17:26,482 --> 01:17:29,001
♪ Something about
Christmastime ♪
1264
01:17:29,025 --> 01:17:33,338
♪ That makes you wish
it was Christmas every day ♪
1265
01:17:35,406 --> 01:17:38,926
♪ To see the joy
in the children's eyes ♪
1266
01:17:38,950 --> 01:17:41,803
♪ The way that
the old folks smile ♪
1267
01:17:41,827 --> 01:17:46,873
♪ Says that Christmas
will never go away ♪
1268
01:17:47,665 --> 01:17:50,435
♪ It's the time of year
when everyone's together... ♪
1269
01:17:50,459 --> 01:17:52,586
Jesus Christ.
1270
01:17:53,336 --> 01:17:55,730
Nope. Just jolly old Saint Nick.
1271
01:17:55,754 --> 01:17:58,149
♪ Here on Christmas Day ♪
1272
01:17:59,716 --> 01:18:03,445
♪ When the ones you love
are there ♪
1273
01:18:03,469 --> 01:18:08,282
♪ You can feel the magic
in the air... ♪
1274
01:18:08,306 --> 01:18:11,034
- Oh, God!
- There you go.
1275
01:18:11,058 --> 01:18:12,767
A little stocking stuffer.
1276
01:18:13,560 --> 01:18:17,122
Where is it?
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
1277
01:18:17,146 --> 01:18:19,583
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
1278
01:18:19,607 --> 01:18:22,317
- I got to watch.
- Fuck!
1279
01:18:23,443 --> 01:18:25,628
Ho-Ho-Holy shit.
1280
01:18:25,652 --> 01:18:27,922
♪ Christmas will never
go away. ♪
1281
01:18:27,946 --> 01:18:30,632
Gertrude would never
trust anybody
1282
01:18:30,656 --> 01:18:33,093
who wasn't blood
with this kind of info.
1283
01:18:33,117 --> 01:18:34,802
So...
1284
01:18:34,826 --> 01:18:38,430
the in-laws wouldn't know shit,
1285
01:18:38,454 --> 01:18:40,974
which means
that I can shoot her...
1286
01:18:42,540 --> 01:18:44,518
unless you tell me
where the fucking money is.
1287
01:18:44,542 --> 01:18:46,769
Please don't, okay?
It's Christmas.
1288
01:18:46,793 --> 01:18:48,629
Shut up!
1289
01:18:49,505 --> 01:18:50,899
I swear,
I'll blow her brains out
1290
01:18:50,923 --> 01:18:52,316
unless you tell me
where the money went.
1291
01:18:52,340 --> 01:18:54,526
I did it!
1292
01:18:54,550 --> 01:18:56,944
- What?
- Okay. Yeah, I did it.
1293
01:18:56,968 --> 01:18:58,863
- I moved the money.
- No, d-don't-don't be an idiot.
1294
01:18:58,887 --> 01:19:00,614
- What?
- The money's our only leverage.
1295
01:19:00,638 --> 01:19:02,199
Well, my wife has a fucking
gun to her head, so...
1296
01:19:02,223 --> 01:19:04,284
Yeah, how did you find out
that we were coming, huh?
1297
01:19:04,308 --> 01:19:05,951
I didn't. I was stealing it.
1298
01:19:07,143 --> 01:19:08,579
- Yeah, coincidence.
- Oh, my God.
1299
01:19:08,603 --> 01:19:09,954
I was planning to take the money
1300
01:19:09,978 --> 01:19:13,123
and leave with my wife
and daughter tonight
1301
01:19:13,147 --> 01:19:15,125
and never come back here.
1302
01:19:15,149 --> 01:19:18,503
Oh, and then my mom would, uh,
1303
01:19:18,527 --> 01:19:20,505
read the note with her whiskey
in the morning
1304
01:19:20,529 --> 01:19:22,297
and know what I had done.
1305
01:19:22,321 --> 01:19:24,591
For years,
I have been telling you
1306
01:19:24,615 --> 01:19:26,967
to stop caring about
your mother's fucking money!
1307
01:19:26,991 --> 01:19:30,245
And you think the solution
was to steal a bunch of it.
1308
01:19:31,036 --> 01:19:33,223
Well, it...
yeah, it does sound stupid
1309
01:19:33,247 --> 01:19:34,724
when you say it like that.
1310
01:19:34,748 --> 01:19:36,725
How can you do this right now?
1311
01:19:36,749 --> 01:19:38,810
It's disgusting. After all
that Mother has given us?
1312
01:19:38,834 --> 01:19:41,020
Come on, Alva.
Everything she ever gave you,
1313
01:19:41,044 --> 01:19:42,313
she made damn sure we knew
1314
01:19:42,337 --> 01:19:43,564
she had the power
to take right back.
1315
01:19:43,588 --> 01:19:47,442
I have spent years
groveling to you.
1316
01:19:47,466 --> 01:19:50,236
In the meanwhile,
I was destroying
1317
01:19:50,260 --> 01:19:52,279
the only good thing in my life.
1318
01:19:52,303 --> 01:19:53,655
What are we doing here, huh?
1319
01:19:53,679 --> 01:19:56,282
Family therapy or doing a heist?
1320
01:19:56,306 --> 01:19:59,535
- Yeah, enough of this sharing
bullshit. -
1321
01:19:59,559 --> 01:20:01,519
All right. Where'd you put it?
1322
01:20:07,690 --> 01:20:10,359
Look at this little idiot.
1323
01:20:14,070 --> 01:20:15,421
Oh, no.
1324
01:20:15,445 --> 01:20:17,257
What?
1325
01:20:17,281 --> 01:20:19,175
- The bad guys found me.
- Okay.
1326
01:20:19,199 --> 01:20:21,033
I'm coming.
1327
01:20:27,622 --> 01:20:31,542
You know, booby traps don't work
unless you hide them.
1328
01:20:34,210 --> 01:20:35,712
You little moron.
1329
01:20:38,755 --> 01:20:41,091
Jesus! Shit!
1330
01:20:44,969 --> 01:20:47,113
Help me! Help me! Help!
1331
01:20:48,555 --> 01:20:50,657
You'll be f... You'll be fine.
1332
01:20:50,681 --> 01:20:52,850
Sit tight.
I'll be back in a sec.
1333
01:20:55,727 --> 01:20:58,062
Right after I kill
this little piece of shit!
1334
01:21:00,814 --> 01:21:03,209
You little fucking brat.
1335
01:21:51,646 --> 01:21:53,414
You're dead!
1336
01:21:53,438 --> 01:21:55,940
You're so fucking dead!
1337
01:22:03,112 --> 01:22:05,572
Fucking piece of shit.
1338
01:22:10,618 --> 01:22:13,454
You little...
1339
01:22:30,717 --> 01:22:32,760
Incoming!
1340
01:22:51,483 --> 01:22:53,294
Son of a fucking...
1341
01:23:03,367 --> 01:23:05,303
Fuck.
1342
01:23:05,327 --> 01:23:07,096
I got you now, kid.
1343
01:23:07,120 --> 01:23:08,788
Yeah? Heads up.
1344
01:23:10,915 --> 01:23:12,517
That's all you got?
You fucking...
1345
01:23:15,377 --> 01:23:17,920
Enough of this shit.
1346
01:23:43,481 --> 01:23:44,691
Santa!
1347
01:23:54,615 --> 01:23:56,843
Hi, Trudy. Hi.
1348
01:23:56,867 --> 01:23:59,679
I made booby traps like
in the movie. It was so funny.
1349
01:23:59,703 --> 01:24:02,305
Ho, ho, ho.
1350
01:24:08,209 --> 01:24:12,129
Trudy, I want you to, uh...
just do me a favor.
1351
01:24:12,963 --> 01:24:15,858
Just turn around
and close your eyes.
1352
01:24:15,882 --> 01:24:18,693
Maybe put your fingers
in your ears and, uh,
1353
01:24:18,717 --> 01:24:21,738
sing "Jingle Bells"
as loud as you can.
1354
01:24:21,762 --> 01:24:23,739
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
1355
01:24:23,763 --> 01:24:26,032
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
1356
01:24:26,056 --> 01:24:28,284
♪ Oh, how fun it is to ride... ♪
1357
01:24:28,308 --> 01:24:31,244
You were about to murder
an innocent child.
1358
01:24:31,268 --> 01:24:32,579
♪ Jingle bells,
jingle bells... ♪
1359
01:24:32,603 --> 01:24:34,205
Innocent?
1360
01:24:34,229 --> 01:24:36,206
It's naughty.
1361
01:24:36,230 --> 01:24:37,690
Naughty.
1362
01:24:38,441 --> 01:24:39,876
Naughty!
1363
01:24:39,900 --> 01:24:41,586
It's part of
the Lightstone legacy.
1364
01:24:41,610 --> 01:24:43,212
We're horrible people.
1365
01:24:43,236 --> 01:24:45,088
So I get why you did
what you did.
1366
01:24:45,112 --> 01:24:47,174
When your grandfather told me
I'd never run the company
1367
01:24:47,198 --> 01:24:49,592
because a girl
doesn't have what it takes,
1368
01:24:49,616 --> 01:24:51,594
I had to snatch the reins
away from him.
1369
01:24:51,618 --> 01:24:53,052
But the point is,
1370
01:24:53,076 --> 01:24:54,804
a Lightstone takes
what's theirs.
1371
01:24:54,828 --> 01:24:56,473
I'm proud of you, son.
1372
01:24:56,497 --> 01:24:57,931
All right, where the hell is it?
1373
01:25:00,291 --> 01:25:02,209
The money's hidden inside.
1374
01:25:03,376 --> 01:25:06,480
And the Three Wise Men
presented him with gifts
1375
01:25:06,504 --> 01:25:09,340
of frankincense, myrrh...
1376
01:25:11,466 --> 01:25:14,528
and cold hard cash.
1377
01:25:14,552 --> 01:25:15,987
Load it up, boys.
1378
01:25:16,011 --> 01:25:18,239
All right,
we're securing the money.
1379
01:25:18,263 --> 01:25:20,324
Kill the hostages
and meet us outside.
1380
01:25:20,348 --> 01:25:22,117
What?
1381
01:25:22,141 --> 01:25:24,118
No.
1382
01:25:25,936 --> 01:25:27,371
Mom.
1383
01:25:27,395 --> 01:25:28,747
It's fine, Bert.
1384
01:25:28,771 --> 01:25:30,248
Everything's fine.
1385
01:25:30,272 --> 01:25:32,334
Okay.
1386
01:25:32,358 --> 01:25:34,251
Everybody, get up.
1387
01:25:34,275 --> 01:25:38,755
It's time for a murder.
1388
01:25:38,779 --> 01:25:41,341
Come on. Come on.
You don't want to kill us.
1389
01:25:41,365 --> 01:25:42,674
You really don't.
1390
01:25:42,698 --> 01:25:44,843
Oh, yes, I do.
1391
01:25:44,867 --> 01:25:47,929
I really, really, really do.
1392
01:25:47,953 --> 01:25:49,639
And I'm gonna start with you.
1393
01:25:49,663 --> 01:25:50,972
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1394
01:25:50,996 --> 01:25:52,289
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
1395
01:25:53,999 --> 01:25:55,684
You got to kill
Aunt Linda first.
1396
01:25:55,708 --> 01:25:57,436
What the hell, Bert?
1397
01:25:57,460 --> 01:25:59,521
You want to squeeze in
being a little shit
1398
01:25:59,545 --> 01:26:01,064
before you die, Bertrude?
1399
01:26:01,088 --> 01:26:02,690
- I say shoot him first.
- What?
1400
01:26:02,714 --> 01:26:04,775
Wait. No, no, no.
Don't shoot him.
1401
01:26:04,799 --> 01:26:06,819
Don't shoot him first.
And don't you call him
1402
01:26:06,843 --> 01:26:08,528
a little shit,
you gold-digging bitch.
1403
01:26:08,552 --> 01:26:10,238
Okay. I changed my mind.
1404
01:26:10,262 --> 01:26:12,198
- Shoot the alcoholic bitch
first. -Don't call my mom
1405
01:26:12,222 --> 01:26:14,282
- an alcoholic bitch.
- Your mom's an alcoholic.
1406
01:26:14,306 --> 01:26:16,117
- I'm sorry.
- You're a gold-digging bitch.
1407
01:26:16,141 --> 01:26:18,285
Oh, I'm a gold-digger,
when I have a whole-ass career?
1408
01:26:18,309 --> 01:26:19,954
You're not even part
of the fucking family.
1409
01:26:19,978 --> 01:26:22,705
- She's an engineer.
- You know goddamn well...
1410
01:26:22,729 --> 01:26:24,106
Shut up!
1411
01:26:27,817 --> 01:26:31,903
Just like rats in a barrel.
1412
01:26:32,696 --> 01:26:34,840
Why don't you die
with some dignity?
1413
01:26:39,909 --> 01:26:41,804
Get off of me!
1414
01:26:41,828 --> 01:26:43,555
Okay, okay.
1415
01:26:43,579 --> 01:26:44,806
Fuck you!
1416
01:26:44,830 --> 01:26:47,392
This is for yelling at my child!
1417
01:26:47,416 --> 01:26:48,809
Creep!
1418
01:26:48,833 --> 01:26:50,352
That's for slapping me,
motherfucker!
1419
01:26:50,376 --> 01:26:52,436
This is for
your dumb fucking hat!
1420
01:27:02,093 --> 01:27:03,737
Is he...
1421
01:27:03,761 --> 01:27:05,304
Is he dead?
1422
01:27:09,182 --> 01:27:11,058
Yeah.
1423
01:27:11,851 --> 01:27:13,453
Thanks, Linda.
1424
01:27:13,477 --> 01:27:16,664
Well, it's nice to do something
as a family for a change.
1425
01:27:17,856 --> 01:27:19,541
Oh, shit!
1426
01:27:19,565 --> 01:27:21,418
I'm gonna...
1427
01:27:25,528 --> 01:27:27,047
That was for Morgan.
1428
01:27:27,071 --> 01:27:32,074
He may have been stupid,
but he was very, very hot.
1429
01:27:33,451 --> 01:27:35,804
Oh. Trudy!
1430
01:27:35,828 --> 01:27:38,222
Mommy!
1431
01:27:38,246 --> 01:27:39,849
Thank God, baby.
1432
01:27:39,873 --> 01:27:41,766
Are you okay?
1433
01:27:41,790 --> 01:27:43,518
I'm okay, Mommy.
1434
01:27:43,542 --> 01:27:44,686
Okay.
1435
01:27:44,710 --> 01:27:47,211
This is my friend, Santa.
1436
01:27:51,632 --> 01:27:53,693
What the fuck?
1437
01:27:53,717 --> 01:27:55,527
I can't thank you enough,
Mister...
1438
01:27:55,551 --> 01:27:57,863
Claus. But please call me Santa.
1439
01:27:57,887 --> 01:27:59,238
Mm-hmm.
1440
01:27:59,262 --> 01:28:01,365
You guys should get out of here.
1441
01:28:01,389 --> 01:28:02,824
It's dangerous.
1442
01:28:02,848 --> 01:28:05,184
They took my husband
and her grandmother.
1443
01:28:07,018 --> 01:28:08,621
Anybody know how to work
these gizmos?
1444
01:28:08,645 --> 01:28:09,955
I think so.
1445
01:28:09,979 --> 01:28:11,706
I used to hunt with my dad.
1446
01:28:11,730 --> 01:28:12,874
Ow.
1447
01:28:12,898 --> 01:28:14,542
Copy that. How's that looking?
1448
01:28:14,566 --> 01:28:17,377
- Yeah, I got it on lockdown.
- Heads on a swivel, boys.
1449
01:28:18,736 --> 01:28:20,338
- Incoming!
- Heads up!
1450
01:28:21,571 --> 01:28:23,049
Oh, oh! Who's shooting?
1451
01:28:23,073 --> 01:28:24,716
Who's...
1452
01:28:24,740 --> 01:28:27,910
- Cap, get down!
- Watch it! Watch it!
1453
01:28:32,997 --> 01:28:35,374
Gun 'em down. Mow them all down.
1454
01:28:51,219 --> 01:28:54,031
- All right, let's get the fuck
out of here. -Let's go.
1455
01:28:54,055 --> 01:28:56,556
- Go where?
- Come on, move, you old bat.
1456
01:28:57,307 --> 01:28:59,267
Get your fucking
hands off of me.
1457
01:29:09,400 --> 01:29:11,711
Oh! Oh, shit.
1458
01:29:11,735 --> 01:29:15,113
My balls! My fucking balls!
1459
01:29:31,750 --> 01:29:34,586
Ow, my balls! Why did you
shoot me in the ball...
1460
01:29:38,423 --> 01:29:40,775
Oh, Jesus.
1461
01:29:40,799 --> 01:29:42,443
Sorry.
1462
01:29:44,301 --> 01:29:46,947
Don't worry about us, Mr. Claus.
We got this.
1463
01:29:46,971 --> 01:29:49,198
Who is that guy?
1464
01:29:49,222 --> 01:29:51,850
He said he was Mr. Claus.
1465
01:29:53,642 --> 01:29:55,662
- Fuck. Trudy.
- No, no.
1466
01:29:55,686 --> 01:29:57,288
She's in the house. She's okay.
1467
01:29:57,312 --> 01:29:58,664
She's safe.
1468
01:29:58,688 --> 01:30:00,791
- Oh, thank God.
- Yeah.
1469
01:30:21,539 --> 01:30:22,975
No, no.
1470
01:30:22,999 --> 01:30:25,643
- Oh... go, go, go, go, go.
- No, no, no. Wait, wait.
1471
01:31:11,495 --> 01:31:13,913
Oh, shit!
1472
01:31:16,165 --> 01:31:18,958
Ho, ho!
1473
01:31:20,668 --> 01:31:21,877
Fuck!
1474
01:32:05,452 --> 01:32:08,122
Fucking die.
1475
01:33:01,288 --> 01:33:03,140
Come on. Come on. Come on.
1476
01:33:03,164 --> 01:33:06,434
Yeah, over here. Over here.
1477
01:33:06,458 --> 01:33:07,709
Santa!
1478
01:33:08,668 --> 01:33:10,479
Come on!
1479
01:33:10,503 --> 01:33:11,938
Yeah.
1480
01:33:55,746 --> 01:33:56,997
Fuck.
1481
01:34:20,682 --> 01:34:22,725
You're real?
1482
01:34:24,101 --> 01:34:26,519
You're... him.
1483
01:34:29,522 --> 01:34:30,750
You're you.
1484
01:34:30,774 --> 01:34:33,460
That's what I've been trying
to tell you.
1485
01:34:33,484 --> 01:34:36,837
The real goddamn Santa Claus.
1486
01:34:36,861 --> 01:34:39,298
This is not your night, pal.
1487
01:34:39,322 --> 01:34:42,425
Oh, I don't know.
I think you're wrong.
1488
01:34:42,449 --> 01:34:45,844
I think my whole shitty life's
built up to this moment.
1489
01:34:45,868 --> 01:34:47,221
Because when I kill you,
1490
01:34:47,245 --> 01:34:50,538
this whole goddamn holiday
finally ends.
1491
01:34:52,290 --> 01:34:54,208
Whatever it takes...
1492
01:34:55,960 --> 01:34:58,020
Christmas dies tonight.
1493
01:35:50,252 --> 01:35:51,895
Whoa!
1494
01:37:17,152 --> 01:37:19,737
The last Christmas.
1495
01:37:29,578 --> 01:37:32,205
Not if you still believe.
1496
01:37:33,998 --> 01:37:35,976
No!
1497
01:38:04,021 --> 01:38:07,690
I have no idea what the fuck
is going on here.
1498
01:38:10,068 --> 01:38:12,194
But this ends now.
1499
01:38:17,115 --> 01:38:18,908
Damn right it does.
1500
01:38:28,082 --> 01:38:30,250
Trudy, be careful.
1501
01:38:33,961 --> 01:38:35,855
Santa!
1502
01:38:35,879 --> 01:38:38,381
Oh, no. Santa.
1503
01:38:39,841 --> 01:38:41,384
Oh, no.
1504
01:38:48,180 --> 01:38:50,349
You saved my daughter.
1505
01:38:51,142 --> 01:38:52,684
No.
1506
01:38:53,476 --> 01:38:55,037
She saved me.
1507
01:38:55,061 --> 01:38:57,789
Help him. Please help him.
1508
01:38:57,813 --> 01:39:00,290
Honey, I don't think
there's anything we can do.
1509
01:39:00,314 --> 01:39:01,542
It's okay. It's okay.
1510
01:39:01,566 --> 01:39:03,877
It's too late for that.
1511
01:39:03,901 --> 01:39:06,236
Too late.
1512
01:39:07,028 --> 01:39:09,673
I'm cold.
1513
01:39:09,697 --> 01:39:11,925
I haven't felt cold in years.
1514
01:39:11,949 --> 01:39:13,992
We need to keep him warm.
1515
01:39:14,826 --> 01:39:17,221
All of the fires are going out.
1516
01:39:17,245 --> 01:39:19,538
We need to find
something to burn.
1517
01:39:20,873 --> 01:39:22,415
I got an idea.
1518
01:39:25,334 --> 01:39:27,294
Whoa.
1519
01:39:28,837 --> 01:39:30,231
No.
1520
01:39:30,255 --> 01:39:32,399
No, no, no, no. No, Jason, no.
1521
01:39:32,423 --> 01:39:33,525
Please, Santa.
1522
01:39:33,549 --> 01:39:36,551
I don't want you to die.
1523
01:39:39,637 --> 01:39:41,322
Jason, let's slow this down.
1524
01:39:41,346 --> 01:39:42,824
What are you doing?
1525
01:39:42,848 --> 01:39:46,118
I've lived longer
than any man should ever live.
1526
01:39:46,142 --> 01:39:48,828
He's pretty much dead.
What the hell is happening?
1527
01:39:48,852 --> 01:39:50,913
- You don't need to burn money.
- Okay. More. Yeah.
1528
01:39:50,937 --> 01:39:54,374
You can't die, Santa.
You have to get up.
1529
01:39:54,398 --> 01:39:56,942
I think I used up
all my Christmas magic.
1530
01:39:57,942 --> 01:39:59,569
Sorry.
1531
01:40:01,613 --> 01:40:05,341
I'm s... I'm sorry I can't
give you what you asked for.
1532
01:40:06,949 --> 01:40:09,219
Take that. Take that.
1533
01:40:09,243 --> 01:40:10,785
But you did.
1534
01:40:13,538 --> 01:40:15,849
Santa, please don't die.
1535
01:40:15,873 --> 01:40:18,393
Wake up. Wake up.
1536
01:40:18,417 --> 01:40:21,061
We need to get him
close to the fire.
1537
01:40:21,085 --> 01:40:22,962
Jason.
1538
01:40:23,713 --> 01:40:25,672
Just wake up.
1539
01:40:26,715 --> 01:40:28,067
Please.
1540
01:40:28,091 --> 01:40:29,967
No.
1541
01:40:34,304 --> 01:40:37,556
Oh, I am so, so sorry.
1542
01:40:42,477 --> 01:40:45,188
This man...
1543
01:40:46,021 --> 01:40:49,834
This brave, brave man,
whoever he was...
1544
01:40:49,858 --> 01:40:51,126
He's Santa.
1545
01:40:51,150 --> 01:40:53,378
The real Santa. He is.
1546
01:40:53,402 --> 01:40:56,488
And I still believe in him.
1547
01:40:57,322 --> 01:40:59,990
I'll always believe in you,
Santa.
1548
01:41:04,619 --> 01:41:06,579
I believe in him, too.
1549
01:41:09,581 --> 01:41:12,392
He saved Trudy.
1550
01:41:12,416 --> 01:41:14,669
He saved our family.
1551
01:41:16,629 --> 01:41:18,964
What's realer than that?
1552
01:41:22,925 --> 01:41:24,718
Then maybe...
1553
01:41:27,220 --> 01:41:29,347
I believe in him, too.
1554
01:41:30,180 --> 01:41:31,723
So do I.
1555
01:41:32,766 --> 01:41:36,078
Oh, shit.
1556
01:41:36,102 --> 01:41:38,205
I guess...
1557
01:41:38,229 --> 01:41:40,289
I guess I do, too.
1558
01:41:40,313 --> 01:41:42,124
Fuck me.
1559
01:41:42,148 --> 01:41:43,941
I believe, too.
1560
01:41:54,366 --> 01:41:55,885
Oh, my God.
1561
01:41:55,909 --> 01:41:57,076
Santa!
1562
01:42:02,080 --> 01:42:03,623
You...
1563
01:42:05,374 --> 01:42:07,418
You were dead.
1564
01:42:08,210 --> 01:42:10,771
Christmas magic.
1565
01:42:10,795 --> 01:42:13,399
I still don't really
understand...
1566
01:42:13,423 --> 01:42:15,382
how it works.
1567
01:42:21,012 --> 01:42:22,906
Thank you.
1568
01:42:22,930 --> 01:42:24,949
I don't know
how we can ever repay you.
1569
01:42:24,973 --> 01:42:27,118
Well, you brought me back
from the dead,
1570
01:42:27,142 --> 01:42:28,726
so we'll call it even.
1571
01:42:29,893 --> 01:42:31,079
Even?
1572
01:42:31,103 --> 01:42:33,771
We just burned
half a million dollars.
1573
01:42:34,606 --> 01:42:36,207
- Look, Santa!
- Hmm?
1574
01:42:36,231 --> 01:42:37,584
Look who came.
1575
01:42:44,780 --> 01:42:48,301
Now you show up, huh?
1576
01:42:48,325 --> 01:42:49,759
You leave me here to die,
1577
01:42:49,783 --> 01:42:52,012
come back after
all the work's done, huh?
1578
01:42:52,036 --> 01:42:54,763
You know what? I should make
you guys into a stew
1579
01:42:54,787 --> 01:42:57,016
and feed you to the elves!
1580
01:42:58,999 --> 01:43:03,729
Yes, Blitzen!
Yes, I'm talking to you!
1581
01:43:03,753 --> 01:43:05,880
You, too, Prancer.
1582
01:43:11,259 --> 01:43:13,278
You got my sack.
1583
01:43:13,302 --> 01:43:17,597
My spare... You went home
and you got my spare sack?
1584
01:43:19,474 --> 01:43:22,201
Oh, God, I can't stay mad
at you guys.
1585
01:43:22,225 --> 01:43:23,786
I...
1586
01:43:23,810 --> 01:43:28,165
Aw. I can't. I can't.
1587
01:43:28,189 --> 01:43:30,940
Aw.
1588
01:43:31,983 --> 01:43:34,085
Aw.
1589
01:43:44,993 --> 01:43:46,512
Hello, beautiful.
1590
01:43:46,536 --> 01:43:48,454
Skullcrusher!
1591
01:44:01,464 --> 01:44:03,108
Guess this is goodbye.
1592
01:44:03,132 --> 01:44:04,591
I got to go.
1593
01:44:05,467 --> 01:44:07,594
Do you have to?
1594
01:44:10,888 --> 01:44:13,033
It's Christmas Eve,
and there's a lot of...
1595
01:44:13,057 --> 01:44:14,742
boys and girls on the nice list
1596
01:44:14,766 --> 01:44:17,185
that want their presents,
you know?
1597
01:44:19,311 --> 01:44:20,979
Thank you.
1598
01:44:21,980 --> 01:44:23,540
For what?
1599
01:44:23,564 --> 01:44:25,209
For believing in me.
1600
01:44:25,233 --> 01:44:28,568
For reminding me
that Christmas still matters.
1601
01:44:30,153 --> 01:44:32,589
And that I still...
1602
01:44:32,613 --> 01:44:34,966
matter.
1603
01:44:36,533 --> 01:44:38,702
You gave me
my "ho, ho, ho" back.
1604
01:44:48,583 --> 01:44:50,919
All right. Get out of here.
1605
01:44:54,630 --> 01:44:57,549
Merry Christmas!
1606
01:45:00,093 --> 01:45:01,320
Hyah!
1607
01:45:01,344 --> 01:45:04,698
Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer!
1608
01:45:04,722 --> 01:45:06,824
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
1609
01:45:06,848 --> 01:45:10,327
On, Comet! On, Cupid!
1610
01:45:10,351 --> 01:45:13,329
On, Donner and Blitzen!
1611
01:45:13,353 --> 01:45:16,915
Come on, you beautiful bastards!
1612
01:45:16,939 --> 01:45:20,292
We've got some work to do!
1613
01:45:20,316 --> 01:45:23,337
Hyah!
1614
01:45:23,361 --> 01:45:26,047
Ho, ho, ho!
1615
01:45:26,071 --> 01:45:29,258
Merry Christmas!
1616
01:45:40,207 --> 01:45:46,170
♪ Are you hanging up
your stocking on your wall? ♪
1617
01:45:48,130 --> 01:45:54,051
♪ It's the time that
every Santa has a ball ♪
1618
01:45:55,802 --> 01:45:59,656
♪ Does he ride
a red-nosed reindeer? ♪
1619
01:45:59,680 --> 01:46:03,201
♪ Does a ton-up on his sleigh? ♪
1620
01:46:03,225 --> 01:46:09,146
♪ Do the fairies
keep him sober for a day? ♪
1621
01:46:09,938 --> 01:46:12,374
♪ So here it is ♪
1622
01:46:12,398 --> 01:46:14,376
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1623
01:46:14,400 --> 01:46:18,880
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪
1624
01:46:18,904 --> 01:46:22,340
♪ Look to the future now ♪
1625
01:46:22,364 --> 01:46:29,346
♪ It's only just begun ♪
1626
01:46:29,370 --> 01:46:35,333
♪ Are you waiting for
the family to arrive? ♪
1627
01:46:37,293 --> 01:46:39,228
♪ Are you sure you got ♪
1628
01:46:39,252 --> 01:46:42,964
♪ The room to spare inside? ♪
1629
01:46:44,673 --> 01:46:48,194
♪ Does your granny
always tell ya ♪
1630
01:46:48,218 --> 01:46:51,989
♪ That the old songs
are the best? ♪
1631
01:46:52,013 --> 01:46:55,200
♪ Then she's up
and rock-and-rolling ♪
1632
01:46:55,224 --> 01:46:57,534
♪ With the rest ♪
1633
01:46:57,558 --> 01:46:59,703
Hey, yo!
What's Gucci, squad fam?
1634
01:46:59,727 --> 01:47:02,789
It's the Bert Locker,
living the dream.
1635
01:47:02,813 --> 01:47:04,874
You know what? See this guy?
Dead as hell.
1636
01:47:04,898 --> 01:47:06,666
Santa's real, all right?
1637
01:47:06,690 --> 01:47:08,543
Don't end up
on the naughty list.
1638
01:47:08,567 --> 01:47:09,794
Do better.
1639
01:47:09,818 --> 01:47:11,921
Bert Lightstone out.
1640
01:47:11,945 --> 01:47:13,964
♪ So here it is ♪
1641
01:47:13,988 --> 01:47:15,965
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1642
01:47:15,989 --> 01:47:20,511
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪
1643
01:47:20,535 --> 01:47:23,805
♪ Look to the future now ♪
1644
01:47:23,829 --> 01:47:29,976
♪ It's only just begun ♪
1645
01:47:30,000 --> 01:47:32,436
♪ So here it is ♪
1646
01:47:32,460 --> 01:47:34,438
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1647
01:47:34,462 --> 01:47:37,482
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪
1648
01:47:37,506 --> 01:47:42,069
- ♪ It's Christmas! ♪
- ♪ Look to the future now ♪
1649
01:47:42,093 --> 01:47:49,783
♪ It's only just begun. ♪
1650
01:47:53,143 --> 01:47:54,829
♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪
1651
01:47:54,853 --> 01:47:56,831
♪ Let's be good ♪
1652
01:47:56,855 --> 01:48:00,959
- ♪ This coming yuletide ♪
- ♪ Ding dong verily the sky ♪
1653
01:48:00,983 --> 01:48:03,502
♪ Or you'll see ♪
1654
01:48:03,526 --> 01:48:08,589
♪ Kris Kringle's cruel side ♪
1655
01:48:08,613 --> 01:48:12,008
♪ Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad ♪
1656
01:48:12,032 --> 01:48:15,136
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪
1657
01:48:15,160 --> 01:48:18,138
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪
1658
01:48:18,162 --> 01:48:21,182
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Unhappy! ♪
1659
01:48:21,206 --> 01:48:24,727
♪ He's told you once,
he's told you twice ♪
1660
01:48:24,751 --> 01:48:27,521
♪ Too much naughty,
not enough nice ♪
1661
01:48:27,545 --> 01:48:33,049
♪ Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas ♪
1662
01:48:34,174 --> 01:48:37,112
♪ Where's the love
and where's the joy? ♪
1663
01:48:37,136 --> 01:48:40,281
♪ Always cash and never a toy ♪
1664
01:48:40,305 --> 01:48:45,660
♪ Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas ♪
1665
01:48:45,684 --> 01:48:51,980
♪ Ah... ♪
1666
01:48:53,607 --> 01:48:55,501
♪ Santa's getting mad ♪
1667
01:48:55,525 --> 01:48:57,627
- ♪ Don't you make Santa crazy ♪
- ♪ Better not be bad ♪
1668
01:48:57,651 --> 01:49:00,296
-♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪ -♪ Baby ♪
1669
01:49:00,320 --> 01:49:02,882
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪
1670
01:49:02,906 --> 01:49:06,551
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ♪
1671
01:49:06,575 --> 01:49:09,720
♪ If you don't want ♪
1672
01:49:09,744 --> 01:49:12,806
♪ Coal this Christmas ♪
1673
01:49:12,830 --> 01:49:15,933
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪
1674
01:49:15,957 --> 01:49:19,102
♪ Make sure you keep
Santa jolly ♪
1675
01:49:19,126 --> 01:49:22,271
♪ Don't make his reindeer ♪
1676
01:49:22,295 --> 01:49:26,941
♪ Cause you some pain, dear ♪
1677
01:49:26,965 --> 01:49:30,111
♪ Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad ♪
1678
01:49:30,135 --> 01:49:33,363
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪
1679
01:49:33,387 --> 01:49:36,324
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪
1680
01:49:36,348 --> 01:49:39,702
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪
1681
01:49:39,726 --> 01:49:42,495
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1682
01:49:42,519 --> 01:49:44,163
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1683
01:49:44,187 --> 01:49:47,666
♪ Don't make him crazy ♪
1684
01:49:47,690 --> 01:49:49,042
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1685
01:49:49,066 --> 01:49:52,211
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1686
01:49:52,235 --> 01:49:55,213
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1687
01:49:55,237 --> 01:49:58,466
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1688
01:49:58,490 --> 01:50:01,552
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1689
01:50:01,576 --> 01:50:03,345
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1690
01:50:03,369 --> 01:50:06,555
♪ Hark, the herald angels sing ♪
1691
01:50:06,579 --> 01:50:09,224
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
1692
01:50:09,248 --> 01:50:10,934
♪ On the first day
of Christmas ♪
1693
01:50:10,958 --> 01:50:12,518
♪ My true love gave to me ♪
1694
01:50:12,542 --> 01:50:15,312
♪ Good King Wenceslas
looked out ♪
1695
01:50:15,336 --> 01:50:18,231
♪ On the Feast of Stephen ♪
1696
01:50:18,255 --> 01:50:21,359
♪ Jingle bells. ♪
1697
01:50:44,109 --> 01:50:46,878
♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪
1698
01:50:46,902 --> 01:50:50,215
♪ In heaven,
the bells are ringing ♪
1699
01:51:09,712 --> 01:51:17,712
♪ Glo-o-o-oria ♪
1700
01:51:17,801 --> 01:51:19,946
♪ Hosanna ♪
1701
01:51:19,970 --> 01:51:27,910
♪ In excelsis. ♪
116778
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