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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:28,128 -Action. -Design. 2 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:35,570 ♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪ 3 00:00:36,671 --> 00:00:39,473 ♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪ 4 00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:49,416 ♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪ 5 00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:53,053 ♪ It's the best time of the year ♪ 6 00:00:53,855 --> 00:00:57,291 ♪ I don't know if there'll be snow ♪ 7 00:00:57,324 --> 00:00:59,827 ♪ But have a cup of cheer ♪ 8 00:00:59,861 --> 00:01:03,297 ♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪ 9 00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:06,166 ♪ And when you walk down the street... ♪ 10 00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:10,203 Another one? 11 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:14,207 Well, I'm still vertical, so I'd like to change that. 12 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:17,579 ♪ Oh, ho, the mistletoe ♪ 13 00:01:17,612 --> 00:01:20,180 ♪ Hung where you can see ♪ 14 00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:23,216 ♪ Somebody waits for you... ♪ 15 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,452 Ho, ho. 16 00:01:26,888 --> 00:01:29,289 Bitter. Pint. 17 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:31,859 You just get off? 18 00:01:31,893 --> 00:01:34,729 ♪ And in case you didn't hear ♪ 19 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,130 ♪ Oh, by golly, have a holly... ♪ 20 00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:38,866 I'm taking a break. 21 00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:41,201 Between shifts, I guess you could say. 22 00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:42,670 -Hmm. -You ain't driving, are you? 23 00:01:42,704 --> 00:01:45,740 I steer a little, but the reindeer do most of the work. 24 00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,177 Mm-hmm. 25 00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,379 This is my, uh, fourth year as a Santa. 26 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:53,581 Ah. 27 00:01:53,615 --> 00:01:54,816 How about you? 28 00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:57,217 Lost count. 29 00:01:57,250 --> 00:02:00,220 I forget why I started doing it in the first place. 30 00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:03,423 Same reason anybody does anything. 31 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,258 The money. 32 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,862 Money. Money. 33 00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,831 This whole planet runs on greed. 34 00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:16,938 It's the look on the kiddies' faces, innit? 35 00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,606 That's what does it for me. 36 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:22,543 Ah, the look. Yeah, that look. 37 00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,512 Lasts about two seconds. 38 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,848 As soon as they're finished unwrapping, 39 00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:29,416 they want the next present, 40 00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:32,219 they want the next cool thing. 41 00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:34,221 That's how this world works. 42 00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:36,289 And kids-- what kids have become. 43 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:40,427 They're just like little junkies. 44 00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:42,964 They're little shits. They just demand. 45 00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,732 They don't believe. 46 00:02:44,766 --> 00:02:48,536 They just want, crave, consume. 47 00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,743 Maybe this is my last year. 48 00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,213 The last Christmas. 49 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:07,421 Well, I can't stand seeing another Santa in distress. 50 00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:09,857 Put his drinks on my tab. 51 00:03:09,891 --> 00:03:11,425 -Okay? -Yeah. 52 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,961 Oh, very merry of you. Okay. 53 00:03:13,995 --> 00:03:16,463 I better get going. 54 00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,666 Presents aren't gonna deliver themselves. 55 00:03:19,801 --> 00:03:21,836 Oh, uh... 56 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,738 For your grandson. Save me a trip. 57 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,573 It's, uh, that new video game. 58 00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:28,576 It's Astro Blaster, Blaster Astro. 59 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,410 I-I don't know. 60 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,846 Merry Christmas. 61 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,314 How'd he know my grandson's name? 62 00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:37,451 How'd he know I have a grandson? 63 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:41,689 Oi! That door leads to the roof. 64 00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:42,990 Piss head. 65 00:03:43,024 --> 00:03:45,660 Go easy on him. It's Christmas. 66 00:03:47,762 --> 00:03:51,032 Hey! You can't be up here. 67 00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:54,769 If you break your neck, I'm the one... 68 00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:17,257 My God. 69 00:04:22,063 --> 00:04:23,898 It's... 70 00:04:25,967 --> 00:04:27,535 ...beauti... 71 00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,551 Hi. Hi, hi, hi. 72 00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:18,853 There she is. Hello, muffin. 73 00:05:19,854 --> 00:05:22,322 Let's go see Grandma. 74 00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:25,425 Ooh. 75 00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:27,662 Merry Christmas. 76 00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:31,566 Merry Christmas, Trudy. 77 00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:32,600 Merry... 78 00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,434 Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah! 79 00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:37,772 Merry Christmas, Daddy, ya filthy animal. 80 00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:41,576 She got to stay up late and watch Home Alone. 81 00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:42,475 Uh-huh. 82 00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:45,445 It was so funny. 83 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,982 -Yep. -That... that hurts. 84 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,584 -All morning. -Okay, um... 85 00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:51,519 Thank you. 86 00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:54,421 For doing this. 87 00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:56,624 I'm not doing it for you. 88 00:05:58,159 --> 00:06:00,561 -It's Christmas! -Yeah! 89 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,148 Merry Christmas, Al. 90 00:06:21,182 --> 00:06:23,017 Hi, Linda. Merry Christmas. 91 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,019 -Mr. Lightstone. -Hey, Al. 92 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,554 Hey, you back there, Tru? 93 00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,122 Yeah, I bet you're excited for Christmas. 94 00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,057 What did you ask Santa for? 95 00:06:30,091 --> 00:06:31,692 Not to work on Christmas Eve. 96 00:06:31,726 --> 00:06:33,194 Must've been naughty this year, 97 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,896 -'cause here I am. -Mm-hmm. 98 00:06:34,929 --> 00:06:37,031 Just make sure you let Santa through the gates later, Al. 99 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,498 -Yeah. -Have a merry one, now. 100 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,534 -Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas, Al. 101 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,536 Merry Christmas, Tru. 102 00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:43,971 -Thank you, Al. -Yeah. 103 00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:09,697 I can't remember where the second one is. 104 00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:14,802 Ho, ho, ho, ho. 105 00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,570 Merry Christmas. 106 00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:18,639 Hope you're on the nice list. 107 00:07:18,673 --> 00:07:21,474 That doesn't go over there. 108 00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:30,952 Excuse me. 109 00:07:34,989 --> 00:07:36,791 What the hell is this? 110 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:39,093 You are the worst catering company on the planet. 111 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,128 It's lengthwise, not width. 112 00:07:41,162 --> 00:07:42,997 Unbelievable. 113 00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:00,715 Okay. 114 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,850 Hi. Hi, guys. Merry Christmas. 115 00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,852 -Hi. -I'm fine. Thank you so much. 116 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:11,625 I'll never get over the fact that you grew up like this. 117 00:08:12,727 --> 00:08:15,029 My therapist says I'll never get over it, either. 118 00:08:15,997 --> 00:08:17,131 I need a drink. 119 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,733 ♪ Two turtledoves ♪ 120 00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:21,769 ♪ And a partridge in a pear tree... ♪ 121 00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:25,039 Hey, look at that. 122 00:08:34,015 --> 00:08:35,783 Hi, Linda. 123 00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:38,019 -Hey. -How's it going, Alva? 124 00:08:38,052 --> 00:08:39,787 Mm-hmm. You gained weight. 125 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,656 Looks good on you, though. 126 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:44,625 -Thank you. -Mm-hmm. 127 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,160 'Sup, limp dick? 128 00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:49,296 I got great feelings about this Christmas. 129 00:08:49,330 --> 00:08:51,632 -You want to know why? -Yeah. 130 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,601 'Cause I think this is the year 131 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,636 that Mom's gonna kick herself upstairs 132 00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:58,039 and choose one of us to start running the show. 133 00:08:58,072 --> 00:09:02,610 And I got to tell you, Jason, that I'm gunning for your ass. 134 00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:05,780 What would a Lightstone family Christmas be 135 00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:07,648 without groveling and infighting? 136 00:09:09,083 --> 00:09:10,684 Your rosé, ma'am. 137 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:13,254 Honey, smile. It's Christmas. 138 00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:14,588 Mm. 139 00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,057 Good. Good girl. 140 00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:21,629 I am sorry about my sister. 141 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:24,065 ♪ Making spirits bright ♪ 142 00:09:24,098 --> 00:09:27,101 ♪ What fun it is to ride and sing... ♪ 143 00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:29,570 It is really nice to see you. 144 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,607 To have you here. 145 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:36,811 ♪ Jingle all the way... ♪ 146 00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:40,181 Okay, I'm behind. Catch me up on all the hot goss. 147 00:09:40,214 --> 00:09:42,049 Hot goss. Okay. 148 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:45,886 Um, well, you remember Bert, my sister's pride and joy. 149 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,757 Yo, yo, yo. This is the Bert Locker 150 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:53,694 living that bling life on Christmas Eve. 151 00:09:55,196 --> 00:09:56,697 Hashtag "blessed." 152 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:59,100 He just got what I can only assume 153 00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:02,336 will be his first of many sexual harassment accusations. 154 00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,105 Mom paid off the school, 155 00:10:04,138 --> 00:10:06,240 and now the gymnasium is named after us. 156 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,242 Of course she did. 157 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,310 What about Tragic Mike? 158 00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:11,145 All I'm saying is, 159 00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:12,913 if I was on one of those planes, 160 00:10:12,947 --> 00:10:14,915 9/11 would've ended with a bunch of terrorists 161 00:10:14,949 --> 00:10:18,719 skydiving over Connecticut without their parachutes. 162 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,754 -Yeah. You like that? -Yes. Yes. 163 00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:22,890 -Yeah, I do like it. -Ooh. 164 00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:25,226 -Kiss me in front of my son. -Now, huh? 165 00:10:25,259 --> 00:10:27,895 Mm... 166 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,897 He might actually be a decent actor. 167 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,966 -Hmm. -He's been doing an Oscar-worthy job 168 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:34,435 of pretending to find my sister appealing. 169 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,104 Now he wants Mom to fund a film for him. 170 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,009 -It's Gertrude! -It's Mom. 171 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:44,011 -Okay, let's do this. -Okay, okay. Come on. 172 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,779 -Come on. Bert, get over here. -No. Mom. Mom! 173 00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:47,014 -Positions. -Game time, buddy. 174 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,849 -Okay. Okay. -This is my good side. 175 00:10:48,883 --> 00:10:50,684 -I'm busy. -We've gone over this! Come on! 176 00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:51,785 Gosh. Okay. 177 00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:53,087 Bert, get in the middle. 178 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,321 So it begins. 179 00:10:54,355 --> 00:10:56,257 Seriously, come. You know what that means. 180 00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:58,292 Shall we jockey forward? 181 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,161 No. 182 00:11:01,295 --> 00:11:03,898 No, we can hang back. 183 00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:05,299 Yeah. 184 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,034 Trudy, honey? 185 00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:09,937 Come on over here. 186 00:11:11,372 --> 00:11:13,440 Just, like... 187 00:11:13,474 --> 00:11:15,309 Threaten 'em or bribe 'em. 188 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,744 This isn't rocket science. 189 00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,212 Same shit we always do. 190 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,182 That's what? 191 00:11:21,215 --> 00:11:23,384 That's the best you can do? 192 00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:25,319 Excited to see your grandma? 193 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,787 Listen, you cocksucker. 194 00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,722 It's Christmas, so why don't you take 195 00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:30,457 your best offer, gift wrap it, 196 00:11:30,491 --> 00:11:33,494 and ram it up your fucking box. 197 00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:37,164 Maybe you don't realize who I am. 198 00:11:37,198 --> 00:11:38,866 Those were Grandma words. You know, forget them. 199 00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:40,502 Oh, boy. Look at Mr. Cool back here. 200 00:11:40,535 --> 00:11:42,937 Yeah, what's your angle, man? Hmm? 201 00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:45,406 No angle. I'm not doing anything. 202 00:11:45,439 --> 00:11:47,007 Oh, yeah. 203 00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:48,809 No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No! 204 00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,513 Don't shit in my mouth and tell me it's chocolate cake. 205 00:11:51,546 --> 00:11:52,913 Grandma's cool. 206 00:11:52,947 --> 00:11:55,149 I can make that story go away... 207 00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:56,951 I think your brother's up to something. 208 00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:58,786 No, I just decided to let you guys 209 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,454 have all the fun sucking up to Mom today. 210 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:03,324 Please. You are King Suck-up. 211 00:12:03,357 --> 00:12:05,359 You named your kid Gertrude. 212 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,096 Alva, you named your son Bertrude. 213 00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,065 Okay. 214 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,000 Sorry, Bert, but that's not a real name. 215 00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:15,537 Sorry, Linda. We can't all be lucky enough to have daughters. 216 00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:17,771 Mom, I can hear you. 217 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,275 You know something we don't. What is it? 218 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:23,043 No, I don't. I don't. 219 00:12:23,077 --> 00:12:24,245 I got it. Bingo. 220 00:12:24,278 --> 00:12:25,412 I'm onto you, man. Come on! 221 00:12:25,446 --> 00:12:27,248 -We were just... -Come on, 222 00:12:27,281 --> 00:12:28,449 come on, come on, come on. 223 00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:30,784 -You big sack of shit. -Ooh. 224 00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:32,419 No wonder your husband left you. 225 00:12:32,453 --> 00:12:34,855 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 226 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:38,158 Merry Christmas to you, too, Senator. 227 00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,794 -Merry Christmas, Mommy. -Merry Christmas. 228 00:12:42,296 --> 00:12:43,864 Merry Christmas. 229 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,367 Why in the hell are you standing all the way back there? 230 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,336 Merry Christmas, Grandma! 231 00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:51,272 -Aw. -Little bitch. 232 00:12:51,305 --> 00:12:53,907 Little Gertrude. And how is my favorite granddaughter? 233 00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:56,310 Everybody calls me Trudy now. 234 00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,112 Trudy? 235 00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,583 -Well, that makes her sound like a whore. -Okay. 236 00:13:01,616 --> 00:13:04,218 Oh, she doesn't even know the meaning of the word. 237 00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,487 I'm starving. Let's eat. 238 00:13:06,521 --> 00:13:08,088 Great. 239 00:13:08,122 --> 00:13:10,457 And, Mom, I think Gertrude is a beautiful name. 240 00:13:10,491 --> 00:13:12,893 Mm-hmm. I only call her Gertrude. 241 00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,128 -Merry Christmas, Gertrude. -Come on, Bertrude. 242 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:17,965 ♪ When the kids are fast asleep ♪ 243 00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:20,502 ♪ Gently down the stairs we'll creep ♪ 244 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:25,072 ♪ Then we'll lock and bolt all the doors ♪ 245 00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:28,610 ♪ Just you and me and Santa Claus ♪ 246 00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:33,013 ♪ We'll be as quiet as quiet can be ♪ 247 00:13:33,047 --> 00:13:36,250 ♪ Planting toys under the tree ♪ 248 00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:40,254 ♪ We'll be crawling around on all fours ♪ 249 00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:41,922 ♪ Just you and me ♪ 250 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,425 ♪ And Santa Claus ♪ 251 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,934 ♪ For soon will be ♪ 252 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,603 ♪ That magic time ♪ 253 00:13:55,637 --> 00:13:58,172 ♪ When we hear that midnight chime ♪ 254 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,576 ♪ When that flying sleigh ♪ 255 00:14:01,609 --> 00:14:04,011 ♪ Finally flies away ♪ 256 00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:07,181 ♪ We'll have a very merry Christmas Day ♪ 257 00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:11,619 ♪ We'll raise a toast to the team with the most ♪ 258 00:14:11,653 --> 00:14:15,022 ♪ The best there ever was ♪ 259 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:19,093 ♪ You and me and Santa Claus... ♪ 260 00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,995 Another fucking Christmas. 261 00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:27,034 I made these all by myself. 262 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:28,469 -No way. -Mm-hmm. 263 00:14:28,503 --> 00:14:30,638 I even made one that looks exactly like Santa. 264 00:14:30,672 --> 00:14:33,273 -Exactly. -Yeah. 265 00:14:34,108 --> 00:14:35,510 Santa gets a candy cane, too? 266 00:14:35,543 --> 00:14:37,111 Yeah. 267 00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:38,379 Mm, okay. 268 00:14:39,681 --> 00:14:41,382 It's perfect. 269 00:14:41,415 --> 00:14:43,117 No peeking. 270 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:45,486 This house has so many chimneys. 271 00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,289 How will Santa know which one to come down? 272 00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:51,191 Oh, Santa just knows. 273 00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:52,893 Christmas magic. 274 00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:57,364 Honey, what's wrong? 275 00:14:57,398 --> 00:15:01,034 Daddy never took me to see Santa at the mall this year. 276 00:15:01,636 --> 00:15:04,037 He didn't. 277 00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:08,342 I am so sorry. 278 00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:12,112 This year has been weird. 279 00:15:12,146 --> 00:15:15,683 I never got to tell Santa what I wanted for Christmas. 280 00:15:15,717 --> 00:15:18,318 Oh, honey. Come here. 281 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:24,526 You know what? 282 00:15:24,559 --> 00:15:28,696 You go put your pj's on, 283 00:15:28,730 --> 00:15:31,999 and I will be two minutes. 284 00:15:37,639 --> 00:15:40,073 Yes! 285 00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:43,745 Okay... 286 00:15:51,686 --> 00:15:53,454 Yes. 287 00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,226 Yes! 288 00:16:00,562 --> 00:16:05,065 Because you have been so good to me and Mommy this year, 289 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:09,069 we decided that you could have one gift... 290 00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,738 early! 291 00:16:10,772 --> 00:16:13,373 Really? 292 00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:19,480 What is it? 293 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:25,018 That is a very special walkie-talkie. 294 00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:26,453 It's magic. 295 00:16:26,487 --> 00:16:27,722 -Magic? -Mm-hmm. 296 00:16:27,755 --> 00:16:30,090 What you got right there 297 00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,359 is a direct hotline to Santa Claus himself. 298 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:35,195 -I can talk to Santa? -Oh, yeah. 299 00:16:35,229 --> 00:16:39,233 It's just like writing him a letter... but better. 300 00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:40,167 Mm-hmm. 301 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,770 Now, the only thing is, 302 00:16:42,804 --> 00:16:45,272 he might not have time to answer you. 303 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,341 He's delivering a lot of presents tonight. 304 00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,408 Mm-hmm. 305 00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:51,311 But he'll hear everything you want to say to him. 306 00:16:57,685 --> 00:16:59,521 Hello, Santa? 307 00:16:59,554 --> 00:17:03,056 This is Trudy Lightstone. 308 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,125 I hope you're having a nice night. 309 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:07,227 Mm. 310 00:17:07,261 --> 00:17:12,099 It's really cold tonight, so don't forget your mittens. 311 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:16,136 So, I wanted to tell you, Santa, 312 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,805 I was extra good this year, 313 00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:22,175 so I wrote a big list for you with all the stuff I wanted. 314 00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,312 But then... 315 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:28,650 then I realized I don't need any of that. 316 00:17:29,684 --> 00:17:33,387 I really only want one present for Christmas. 317 00:17:34,889 --> 00:17:38,626 I want Mommy and Daddy to make up 318 00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:41,194 so we can be a family again. 319 00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:43,831 Okay. 320 00:17:43,865 --> 00:17:46,233 Good night, Santa. 321 00:17:47,502 --> 00:17:49,469 Good night, Mr. Bunny. 322 00:18:01,816 --> 00:18:03,585 Which one of you did that? 323 00:18:04,852 --> 00:18:06,320 You can't go two seconds without 324 00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:08,322 crapping on the roof like a bunch of pigeons? 325 00:18:09,791 --> 00:18:13,093 So unprofessional. 326 00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:18,332 You know, Rudolph will never do this crap. 327 00:18:31,512 --> 00:18:33,246 Hmm. 328 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,319 Mmm. 329 00:18:45,827 --> 00:18:48,261 Mmm, mmm. 330 00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:51,465 Homemade. 331 00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:52,767 Mmm. 332 00:18:56,704 --> 00:18:58,673 Ugh. 333 00:18:58,706 --> 00:19:00,374 Skim. 334 00:19:10,585 --> 00:19:12,219 Oh, yeah. 335 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,354 That's the stuff. 336 00:19:18,693 --> 00:19:20,628 Mmm. 337 00:19:21,629 --> 00:19:23,397 DuBoi... 338 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:26,400 On some prewar shit right there. 339 00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:28,770 Good shit. 340 00:19:40,615 --> 00:19:41,916 Mmm. 341 00:19:41,949 --> 00:19:43,685 That pairs well. 342 00:19:43,718 --> 00:19:46,453 What do we have here? 343 00:20:02,637 --> 00:20:04,539 Oh, yeah. 344 00:20:04,572 --> 00:20:06,473 That's the stuff. 345 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:18,452 You know, uh... 346 00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:21,421 Christmas is all right, 347 00:20:21,455 --> 00:20:25,225 but you Americans don't celebrate my favorite holiday. 348 00:20:25,860 --> 00:20:27,729 Oh, yeah? What? 349 00:20:27,762 --> 00:20:29,463 Boxing Day. 350 00:21:02,797 --> 00:21:04,364 Yo, yo. B. Lightstone here, 351 00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:05,967 live streaming the dream, you know. 352 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,669 They say the richest man... 353 00:21:09,804 --> 00:21:11,639 Say goodbye. 354 00:21:11,672 --> 00:21:13,473 And if you... 355 00:21:14,575 --> 00:21:17,578 Grandma! Your Wi-Fi sucks dick. 356 00:21:17,612 --> 00:21:19,312 Damn it! 357 00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:21,783 When he was small, I begged you to beat him. 358 00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:41,368 Hey. Merry Christmas. 359 00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:42,870 Or should I say "happy holidays" now? 360 00:21:42,904 --> 00:21:45,072 Right? I mean, it's like, people, make up your minds. 361 00:21:45,106 --> 00:21:47,340 -You know what I'm saying? -Can I help you? 362 00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:49,076 Oh, yeah. I sure hope so. See, uh, 363 00:21:49,110 --> 00:21:50,945 my car broke down a little ways... 364 00:21:50,978 --> 00:21:52,814 Out here? This is a private road. 365 00:21:52,847 --> 00:21:54,649 You're telling me. 366 00:21:54,682 --> 00:21:56,918 It's the first place I've seen for miles. 367 00:21:56,951 --> 00:21:58,119 I think I got frostbite. 368 00:21:58,152 --> 00:21:59,587 Where the hell am I, anyway? 369 00:21:59,620 --> 00:22:01,388 G.T. Lightstone family compound. 370 00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,323 I'll call you a tow. 371 00:22:12,166 --> 00:22:14,101 All right, revelers. 372 00:22:14,135 --> 00:22:15,970 Time to steal Christmas. 373 00:22:16,003 --> 00:22:17,370 Sound off. 374 00:22:17,404 --> 00:22:18,840 Jingle. Check. 375 00:22:18,873 --> 00:22:20,675 Peppermint. Check. 376 00:22:20,708 --> 00:22:21,976 Sugarplum. Check. 377 00:22:22,009 --> 00:22:24,912 Krampus. Ready to fuck shit up. 378 00:22:24,946 --> 00:22:26,747 Candy Cane. Check. 379 00:22:26,781 --> 00:22:29,449 -Go for Frosty. -Go for Tinsel. 380 00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:31,018 Go for Gingerbread. 381 00:22:31,052 --> 00:22:33,988 Are we gonna use these stupid code names all night? 382 00:22:34,021 --> 00:22:35,623 'Tis the season. 383 00:22:35,656 --> 00:22:39,426 Welcome to your worst Christmas ever. 384 00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:42,797 Trudy loves seeing Santa at the mall. 385 00:22:43,631 --> 00:22:45,465 She loves going with her father. 386 00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:47,001 And you should've taken her yesterday, 387 00:22:47,034 --> 00:22:48,468 like you do every Christmas, 388 00:22:48,502 --> 00:22:50,104 but we didn't even hear from you. 389 00:22:50,137 --> 00:22:51,505 Mom put me on a special project. 390 00:22:51,539 --> 00:22:52,874 -It's complicated. -But it's not, 391 00:22:52,907 --> 00:22:54,909 because it keeps happening over and over. 392 00:22:54,942 --> 00:22:57,645 -Your mother forcing herself between us. -You're right. 393 00:23:02,516 --> 00:23:04,552 What if we could give Trudy her Christmas wish? 394 00:23:04,585 --> 00:23:06,654 You're trying to win me back 395 00:23:06,687 --> 00:23:09,156 with a romantic weekend at your mother's? 396 00:23:09,190 --> 00:23:12,693 What if things really changed this time? 397 00:23:14,494 --> 00:23:16,797 We got out from under my mother's thumb. 398 00:23:16,831 --> 00:23:18,633 We'll walk away. 399 00:23:18,666 --> 00:23:21,468 From the company, the family. 400 00:23:24,038 --> 00:23:25,740 Tonight. 401 00:23:26,540 --> 00:23:27,975 What are you up to? 402 00:24:13,254 --> 00:24:14,622 Let's go. 403 00:24:14,655 --> 00:24:17,058 We need to get you out of here. 404 00:24:17,091 --> 00:24:18,826 Mommy, where are you going? 405 00:24:18,859 --> 00:24:20,661 -She's going for the panic room! -What? 406 00:24:20,695 --> 00:24:22,096 -Yes. Go, Bertrude. -Without us? 407 00:24:27,768 --> 00:24:30,004 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 408 00:24:51,759 --> 00:24:53,694 There isn't room for all of us. 409 00:24:53,728 --> 00:24:55,262 She can fit at least two of us. Mom, take me. 410 00:24:55,296 --> 00:24:57,264 -Mom! -Oh. Yeah. 411 00:24:57,298 --> 00:24:59,133 M-Mom, can Bert come, too? 412 00:25:01,702 --> 00:25:03,037 Okay. Move it or lose it, son. 413 00:25:03,070 --> 00:25:04,638 -Move it! -Whoa, whoa, whoa. 414 00:25:04,672 --> 00:25:06,741 You're supposed to protect us. 415 00:25:06,774 --> 00:25:08,542 We protect the primary asset. 416 00:25:12,279 --> 00:25:13,614 Who the hell are you? 417 00:25:13,647 --> 00:25:16,650 You can call me Mr. Scrooge. 418 00:25:17,218 --> 00:25:18,753 Hilarious. 419 00:25:18,786 --> 00:25:20,054 Get him. 420 00:25:28,696 --> 00:25:31,032 Bah humbug, motherfucker. 421 00:25:40,341 --> 00:25:42,743 Hey. Step aside. 422 00:25:43,911 --> 00:25:46,313 Tinsel, Peppermint, sweep upstairs. 423 00:25:46,347 --> 00:25:48,716 I want all the Lightstones together. 424 00:25:49,316 --> 00:25:51,118 Kill anybody else you find. 425 00:26:01,262 --> 00:26:04,098 Fuck. Fuck, fuck. 426 00:26:04,965 --> 00:26:07,601 Trudy, honey, we got to go. 427 00:26:08,335 --> 00:26:09,970 Wake up, honey. Wake up. 428 00:26:10,004 --> 00:26:12,840 Maybe we can get out the back by the servants' stairs. 429 00:26:19,713 --> 00:26:22,083 Oh, come on. Not now. Not now. 430 00:26:23,217 --> 00:26:25,186 Fuck! Fuck! 431 00:26:25,219 --> 00:26:26,954 Mistletoe, gingerbread. 432 00:26:51,011 --> 00:26:52,012 Hey! 433 00:26:54,915 --> 00:26:56,117 Oh. Oh. 434 00:26:56,150 --> 00:26:57,651 Hi. 435 00:26:57,685 --> 00:27:00,187 You got me. 436 00:27:00,221 --> 00:27:02,723 I don't want any trouble, okay? 437 00:27:02,756 --> 00:27:04,391 Downstairs. Now. 438 00:27:04,425 --> 00:27:08,195 Look, mister, I don't want to get involved. 439 00:27:08,229 --> 00:27:10,364 I just... I just have a job to do. 440 00:27:10,397 --> 00:27:11,866 Okay? That's it. 441 00:27:11,899 --> 00:27:14,401 I'm just gonna take my bag, 442 00:27:14,435 --> 00:27:17,138 and I'm just gonna scooch up that chimney. 443 00:27:18,739 --> 00:27:20,674 Enough talk. Let's go. 444 00:27:21,308 --> 00:27:23,043 You don't want to do this. 445 00:27:23,077 --> 00:27:24,245 What? This? 446 00:27:26,046 --> 00:27:27,281 Now, move! 447 00:27:27,314 --> 00:27:29,283 Are you deaf? 448 00:27:29,316 --> 00:27:31,285 Fucking move! 449 00:27:42,163 --> 00:27:44,031 No, no, no. 450 00:27:44,064 --> 00:27:47,134 No! Wait! 451 00:27:47,168 --> 00:27:48,435 Wait. 452 00:27:48,469 --> 00:27:50,137 Wait! Don't go! 453 00:27:50,171 --> 00:27:52,106 Come back! 454 00:29:07,181 --> 00:29:08,983 Oh, fuck! 455 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:34,441 Oh, shit. 456 00:29:55,929 --> 00:29:59,800 Damn chickenshit reindeer leave me here to die. 457 00:30:08,142 --> 00:30:11,312 ♪ Violent night ♪ 458 00:30:11,345 --> 00:30:14,348 ♪ Gory night ♪ 459 00:30:14,381 --> 00:30:16,483 ♪ All is calm ♪ 460 00:30:16,518 --> 00:30:20,954 ♪ If all doesn't want to get shot in the fucking head. ♪ 461 00:30:21,556 --> 00:30:23,023 Cute. 462 00:30:23,057 --> 00:30:26,193 Do you have any idea who you're fucking with? 463 00:30:29,631 --> 00:30:32,333 I know exactly who I'm fucking with. 464 00:30:32,366 --> 00:30:34,435 Oh, wait, wait. Did you actually think 465 00:30:34,468 --> 00:30:36,036 that I spent months 466 00:30:36,070 --> 00:30:38,606 planning a complex break-in to the most secure 467 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,474 private residence in the country 468 00:30:40,508 --> 00:30:42,242 and I didn't know who lived here? 469 00:30:42,276 --> 00:30:43,545 Well, you're wrong. 470 00:30:43,578 --> 00:30:46,514 'Cause your staff are dead. 471 00:30:46,548 --> 00:30:48,616 Your security are dead. 472 00:30:48,650 --> 00:30:52,119 Now, sit down and shut the fuck up! 473 00:31:20,214 --> 00:31:22,249 Oh, fuck. 474 00:31:25,119 --> 00:31:26,521 We planned it. It's all right. 475 00:31:26,554 --> 00:31:28,255 It'll be solved in a couple minutes. 476 00:31:28,288 --> 00:31:29,356 Better be solved. 477 00:31:29,390 --> 00:31:32,159 So much like a scene from my movie Dark Ransom. 478 00:31:32,192 --> 00:31:33,427 Oh, my God. 479 00:31:34,562 --> 00:31:36,130 If they didn't have guns, 480 00:31:36,163 --> 00:31:38,132 I could take out three, maybe four of them. 481 00:31:38,165 --> 00:31:40,267 Try all of them. 482 00:31:40,300 --> 00:31:42,936 Ew, Mom. Yuck. 483 00:31:42,970 --> 00:31:44,938 If you'd really done your research, you'd know 484 00:31:44,972 --> 00:31:47,474 that my brother Rory was kidnapped in the '70s. 485 00:31:48,409 --> 00:31:51,011 But my father never called the police. 486 00:31:51,044 --> 00:31:53,414 Dad sent in our own private extraction team, 487 00:31:53,447 --> 00:31:57,084 and Rory was home safe and sound a week later. 488 00:31:57,117 --> 00:32:00,655 And the kidnappers were never found. 489 00:32:00,688 --> 00:32:02,956 If you get me. 490 00:32:04,391 --> 00:32:05,727 I know. 491 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,696 I know all about your extraction team 492 00:32:08,730 --> 00:32:10,565 that you affectionately call "the Kill Squad" 493 00:32:10,598 --> 00:32:12,567 behind closed doors. 494 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,334 I also know that they're on their way 495 00:32:14,368 --> 00:32:16,336 and how long it's gonna take 'em to get here. 496 00:32:16,370 --> 00:32:19,306 I even know their credit ratings and their dick sizes. 497 00:32:19,339 --> 00:32:21,041 If you get me. 498 00:32:21,074 --> 00:32:23,310 Then you should also know you're already dead. 499 00:32:23,343 --> 00:32:25,012 We don't do ransoms. 500 00:32:25,045 --> 00:32:27,549 Again, I know. I know. 501 00:32:27,582 --> 00:32:29,551 See, I know a lot, Gertrude. 502 00:32:29,584 --> 00:32:31,318 I really do. 503 00:32:31,351 --> 00:32:34,388 Like the fact that you have 300 million in U.S. dollars 504 00:32:34,421 --> 00:32:36,658 sitting in your personal vault downstairs. 505 00:32:36,691 --> 00:32:38,726 -The fuck? -That's right. 506 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,495 300 million that the U.S. government 507 00:32:41,529 --> 00:32:45,098 gave Lightstone to quietly distribute in the Middle East 508 00:32:45,132 --> 00:32:46,601 to all the worst people, 509 00:32:46,634 --> 00:32:51,104 to grease the wheels and keep that sweet oil flowing. 510 00:32:51,138 --> 00:32:55,409 300 million that-- oops-- disappeared in the fog of war. 511 00:32:55,442 --> 00:32:58,580 Except it didn't really disappear, did it, Gerty? 512 00:32:58,613 --> 00:33:00,047 'Cause you stole it. 513 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:01,549 Did you know about this? 514 00:33:01,583 --> 00:33:03,083 Man, this family. 515 00:33:03,116 --> 00:33:06,253 This moneygrubbing family. 516 00:33:06,286 --> 00:33:08,121 Clinging desperately to your wealth, 517 00:33:08,155 --> 00:33:10,491 when your poor employees don't even have enough coal 518 00:33:10,525 --> 00:33:12,392 to keep Tiny Tim warm. 519 00:33:12,426 --> 00:33:15,496 What is it with you and all this Christmas shit? 520 00:33:15,530 --> 00:33:17,498 Talk all you want. 521 00:33:17,532 --> 00:33:19,233 You'll never get in the vault. 522 00:33:19,266 --> 00:33:22,637 Oh, oh, oh, because when you-you hit the panic button, 523 00:33:22,670 --> 00:33:24,506 it reset the combination? 524 00:33:24,539 --> 00:33:28,141 I keep telling you, I know. 525 00:33:32,747 --> 00:33:35,617 This is what breaking into a vault has turned into? 526 00:33:35,650 --> 00:33:40,387 Remember when you just had to drill holes and blow shit up? 527 00:33:40,420 --> 00:33:42,089 I don't know, maybe I'm getting old, 528 00:33:42,122 --> 00:33:43,525 but there was something romantic about that. 529 00:33:43,558 --> 00:33:45,727 Boss, you copy? 530 00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,662 I'm kind of busy here. 531 00:33:47,695 --> 00:33:50,297 You're gonna want to see this. 532 00:33:59,574 --> 00:34:01,275 Maybe he fell. 533 00:34:01,308 --> 00:34:02,777 You rappel down buildings with him. 534 00:34:02,810 --> 00:34:05,178 You gonna tell me he just fell out a window? 535 00:34:05,847 --> 00:34:07,815 All right, look lively, gang. 536 00:34:07,849 --> 00:34:09,651 We got a gopher. 537 00:34:25,198 --> 00:34:26,568 You know what? 538 00:34:26,601 --> 00:34:30,705 Um, I think Mr. Bunny wants to go to sleep. 539 00:34:30,738 --> 00:34:32,707 So, let's tuck him in. 540 00:34:32,740 --> 00:34:34,441 Okay? 541 00:34:35,543 --> 00:34:37,344 It's gonna be okay. 542 00:34:51,425 --> 00:34:53,661 Hello? Santa? 543 00:34:53,695 --> 00:34:55,663 Are you there? 544 00:35:01,536 --> 00:35:03,337 Shit. 545 00:35:07,407 --> 00:35:09,911 This is Candy Cane at checkpoint three. 546 00:35:09,944 --> 00:35:11,679 Oh, shit. 547 00:35:11,713 --> 00:35:13,514 Shit. Shit. Shit. 548 00:35:16,651 --> 00:35:18,620 Video game. 549 00:35:19,754 --> 00:35:21,188 Video game. 550 00:35:21,221 --> 00:35:23,357 Didn't anybody ask for a bat or a sword 551 00:35:23,390 --> 00:35:26,493 or Molotov cocktails? 552 00:35:34,869 --> 00:35:36,671 Wait. 553 00:35:51,451 --> 00:35:53,320 Mommy, I love you. 554 00:35:54,656 --> 00:35:56,658 Poetry book. 555 00:35:56,691 --> 00:35:58,860 Die Hard on Blu-ray. Fuck! 556 00:36:00,561 --> 00:36:04,398 -♪ Mamacita ♪ -♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 557 00:36:04,431 --> 00:36:06,901 -♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ -♪ Mamacita ♪ 558 00:36:06,934 --> 00:36:08,836 ♪ Ah-ooh ♪ 559 00:36:08,870 --> 00:36:11,673 -♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ -♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh... ♪ 560 00:36:13,240 --> 00:36:14,976 Safety's on, dipshit. 561 00:36:16,678 --> 00:36:19,947 -♪ Mamacita -♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 562 00:36:19,981 --> 00:36:22,617 ♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪ 563 00:36:22,650 --> 00:36:23,951 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 564 00:36:23,985 --> 00:36:25,820 ♪ I look for him because ♪ 565 00:36:25,853 --> 00:36:27,789 Wait. Hang on. Hang on. 566 00:36:27,822 --> 00:36:29,289 ♪ It's Christmas Eve... ♪ 567 00:36:29,322 --> 00:36:31,726 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Look. 568 00:36:31,759 --> 00:36:33,427 I don't want to kill you. 569 00:36:37,297 --> 00:36:40,902 Wow, a big fat guy, gray beard. 570 00:36:40,935 --> 00:36:43,203 Eh? 571 00:36:43,638 --> 00:36:45,606 Santa... 572 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,675 I'm gonna rip your fucking balls off. 573 00:36:52,279 --> 00:36:54,949 ♪ I hope he won't forget to crack his castanets ♪ 574 00:36:54,982 --> 00:36:58,519 ♪ And to his reindeer say ♪ 575 00:36:58,553 --> 00:37:01,022 ♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen, oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen..." ♪ 576 00:37:01,055 --> 00:37:02,990 Oh, shit. 577 00:37:06,359 --> 00:37:08,863 -♪ Mamacita ♪ -♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 578 00:37:08,896 --> 00:37:10,998 ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ 579 00:37:12,900 --> 00:37:15,737 ♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪ 580 00:37:15,770 --> 00:37:17,404 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 581 00:37:17,437 --> 00:37:19,040 ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ 582 00:37:19,073 --> 00:37:20,975 ♪ Christmas Eve ♪ 583 00:37:30,518 --> 00:37:31,953 ♪ I hope he won't forget ♪ 584 00:37:31,986 --> 00:37:33,621 ♪ To crack his castanets ♪ 585 00:37:33,654 --> 00:37:37,558 ♪ And to his reindeer say ♪ 586 00:37:37,592 --> 00:37:41,662 ♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen, oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen ♪ 587 00:37:41,696 --> 00:37:45,432 ♪ Olé, olé, olé" ♪ 588 00:37:45,465 --> 00:37:48,435 -♪ Mamacita ♪ -♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 589 00:37:48,468 --> 00:37:50,905 ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ 590 00:37:50,938 --> 00:37:52,039 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 591 00:37:52,073 --> 00:37:54,008 ♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪ 592 00:37:54,041 --> 00:37:55,743 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 593 00:37:55,777 --> 00:37:59,412 -♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ -♪ Christmas Eve ♪ 594 00:37:59,446 --> 00:38:02,382 ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ 595 00:38:02,415 --> 00:38:04,317 ♪ Mamacita ♪ 596 00:38:04,351 --> 00:38:06,319 -♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ -♪ Mamacita. ♪ 597 00:38:47,895 --> 00:38:50,097 Ah, God. 598 00:38:50,131 --> 00:38:51,933 Whew. 599 00:38:52,967 --> 00:38:55,870 Whew. Whew. 600 00:38:55,903 --> 00:38:57,972 This is Candy Cane checking in. 601 00:38:58,005 --> 00:38:59,707 Compound is clear and secured. 602 00:39:01,876 --> 00:39:03,911 Copy. What's the status on the Kill Squad? 603 00:39:05,646 --> 00:39:07,582 Kill Squad won't be here for two hours. 604 00:39:07,615 --> 00:39:10,117 So we're doing good. The outer seal's already been breached. 605 00:39:10,151 --> 00:39:12,854 Is there a 911 thing on here? 606 00:39:12,887 --> 00:39:15,422 My... 607 00:39:15,455 --> 00:39:17,592 Am I doing that correct? 608 00:39:17,625 --> 00:39:18,860 Hello? 609 00:39:18,893 --> 00:39:20,628 Hello, can anybody hear me? 610 00:39:20,661 --> 00:39:23,097 Can you hear me, Santa? 611 00:39:25,032 --> 00:39:26,567 Hello? 612 00:39:26,601 --> 00:39:27,902 Santa? 613 00:39:31,005 --> 00:39:32,840 Yeah, this is Santa. 614 00:39:35,643 --> 00:39:38,378 I hope I'm not bothering you. 615 00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:42,583 Daddy said you were very busy tonight. 616 00:39:44,185 --> 00:39:46,053 I'm... 617 00:39:46,087 --> 00:39:48,455 I'm on a break. 618 00:39:48,488 --> 00:39:50,658 Who-who am I speaking to? 619 00:39:52,994 --> 00:39:54,829 My name is Trudy Lightstone, 620 00:39:54,862 --> 00:39:58,431 and I've been very good this year. 621 00:39:58,465 --> 00:40:00,167 Trudy... 622 00:40:02,570 --> 00:40:04,672 Trudy Lightstone. 623 00:40:13,547 --> 00:40:15,850 Yeah, Trudy. 624 00:40:15,883 --> 00:40:18,119 You're on my nice list. 625 00:40:18,152 --> 00:40:20,655 You've been a very good girl this year. 626 00:40:22,089 --> 00:40:24,457 Where are you now, Trudy? 627 00:40:25,626 --> 00:40:28,461 I'm in a big room with all my relatives. 628 00:40:28,495 --> 00:40:31,832 There's two bad men with guns watching us. 629 00:40:34,268 --> 00:40:36,203 Oh, no. Six left. 630 00:40:36,237 --> 00:40:38,539 Are you gonna help us, Santa? 631 00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,575 Yeah. Of course I'm gonna help you. 632 00:40:41,609 --> 00:40:44,545 I'm gonna... I'm gonna get you out of there. 633 00:40:44,578 --> 00:40:47,882 Take all these bad guys on my naughty list... 634 00:40:48,749 --> 00:40:51,118 I'm gonna take a lump of coal, 635 00:40:51,152 --> 00:40:55,089 each and every one of them, and shove it straight up... 636 00:40:55,122 --> 00:40:56,590 The ass. 637 00:40:59,260 --> 00:41:00,861 Well, I mean, come on, sweetie. 638 00:41:00,895 --> 00:41:03,864 We want to keep you on the nice list, you know. 639 00:41:05,199 --> 00:41:07,802 Sorry. Can I say "butthole," then? 640 00:41:08,636 --> 00:41:10,004 I mean, it's borderline. 641 00:41:10,037 --> 00:41:11,706 How about "anus"? 642 00:41:11,739 --> 00:41:16,110 Technically, yes, uh, "anus" is the tech... 643 00:41:16,143 --> 00:41:17,812 Okay, look, uh, Tru... uh, Trudy. 644 00:41:17,845 --> 00:41:20,614 I got to call for help, and the phone lines are down. 645 00:41:20,648 --> 00:41:23,184 You probably know this house better than anybody. 646 00:41:23,217 --> 00:41:25,086 You got any suggestions? 647 00:41:25,119 --> 00:41:26,854 I have an idea. 648 00:41:29,056 --> 00:41:31,659 All right, you're telling me there's a goddamn Santa Claus 649 00:41:31,692 --> 00:41:33,661 running around here? 650 00:41:36,797 --> 00:41:38,933 Okay, well, he looks jolly as fuck, 651 00:41:38,966 --> 00:41:40,601 but who the hell is he? 652 00:41:40,634 --> 00:41:42,570 There's no Santa listed on the employee manifest. 653 00:41:42,603 --> 00:41:43,871 Yeah, there's more. 654 00:41:43,904 --> 00:41:45,606 Frosty hasn't checked in. I can't reach him. 655 00:41:45,639 --> 00:41:47,742 All right, keep trying. 656 00:41:50,177 --> 00:41:51,746 All right, it's official. 657 00:41:51,779 --> 00:41:53,881 We got a gopher on the loose, and he's dangerous. 658 00:41:53,914 --> 00:41:55,016 Watch your backs. 659 00:42:00,054 --> 00:42:02,857 Al? Al? 660 00:42:08,996 --> 00:42:10,931 Oh, shit. 661 00:42:18,806 --> 00:42:20,174 Oh, shit! 662 00:42:20,207 --> 00:42:23,677 Frosty, what's your status? 663 00:42:27,048 --> 00:42:29,083 Frosty, sound off. 664 00:42:30,084 --> 00:42:32,987 Uh, Frosty? 665 00:42:34,221 --> 00:42:35,756 Is-is that, uh... 666 00:42:35,790 --> 00:42:37,691 is that the naughty guy I met in the basement? 667 00:42:37,725 --> 00:42:39,226 Your-your friend is dead. 668 00:42:39,260 --> 00:42:42,663 Uh, he got a star in his face, then his head caught on fire. 669 00:42:42,696 --> 00:42:44,732 It's a long story. 670 00:42:44,765 --> 00:42:47,301 Oh. 671 00:42:47,334 --> 00:42:49,603 Is this... is this our Santy? 672 00:42:49,637 --> 00:42:52,339 Is this our... our Santy Claus? 673 00:42:52,373 --> 00:42:54,041 Yeah, it is. 674 00:42:55,009 --> 00:42:56,744 To whom am I speaking? 675 00:42:56,777 --> 00:42:58,779 Well, for tonight, I'm Mr. Scrooge. 676 00:42:58,813 --> 00:43:02,683 Now, what is it that you want exactly, Santa? 677 00:43:02,716 --> 00:43:05,219 I want you to put down your weapons, 678 00:43:05,252 --> 00:43:08,222 I want you to let this family go, 679 00:43:08,255 --> 00:43:09,990 and then I want to find my reindeer, 680 00:43:10,024 --> 00:43:12,626 and I want to continue delivering my presents. 681 00:43:15,229 --> 00:43:16,797 Are you fucking with me? 682 00:43:16,831 --> 00:43:19,033 All right, who the hell are you really, huh? 683 00:43:19,066 --> 00:43:21,735 Some security guard who's watched too many action flicks? 684 00:43:21,769 --> 00:43:24,105 Some loser ex-cop stuck in a mall 685 00:43:24,138 --> 00:43:26,307 playing dress-up with fat kids pissing on your lap? 686 00:43:26,340 --> 00:43:27,875 Stop me when I get it right. 687 00:43:27,908 --> 00:43:30,111 It's a little more complicated than that. 688 00:43:30,144 --> 00:43:31,779 Not to me, it's not. 689 00:43:31,812 --> 00:43:33,814 'Cause I want to make it my personal mission, 690 00:43:33,848 --> 00:43:38,052 my holiday to-do list, to find you and to end you 691 00:43:38,085 --> 00:43:41,789 and to wipe my ass with you and this whole fucking holiday. 692 00:43:41,822 --> 00:43:44,391 That's what I want for Christmas, Santa. 693 00:43:44,425 --> 00:43:48,729 That is a terrible thing to want for Christmas. 694 00:43:48,762 --> 00:43:52,199 But maybe you and I should discuss that in person. 695 00:43:53,434 --> 00:43:56,170 Santa Claus is coming to town. 696 00:44:07,448 --> 00:44:09,049 Shit. 697 00:44:18,926 --> 00:44:20,161 All right, who did you hire 698 00:44:20,194 --> 00:44:22,863 to play Santa at your Christmas party, huh? 699 00:44:22,897 --> 00:44:24,899 I said, who's playing Santa 700 00:44:24,932 --> 00:44:26,433 at your fucked-up Christmas party? 701 00:44:26,467 --> 00:44:29,370 I didn't hire a Santa. 702 00:44:29,403 --> 00:44:32,206 I never have a Santa. It's tacky. 703 00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:33,440 So, who is he? 704 00:44:33,474 --> 00:44:36,343 ♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride... ♪ 705 00:44:36,377 --> 00:44:39,246 Huh? Who is he? 706 00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:40,915 Somebody better start talking, 707 00:44:40,948 --> 00:44:43,951 or I'm gonna bash her brains in with this... 708 00:44:43,984 --> 00:44:48,689 Damn, Gertrude. You really got a thing for nutcrackers, huh? 709 00:44:49,823 --> 00:44:53,827 So, I'm gonna torture everyone in your family 710 00:44:53,861 --> 00:44:56,764 until you tell me who's running around your mansion 711 00:44:56,797 --> 00:44:59,333 playing Santa and fucking with my shit. 712 00:44:59,366 --> 00:45:01,335 And who should I pick first? 713 00:45:01,368 --> 00:45:02,870 Should I go by age? 714 00:45:02,903 --> 00:45:04,438 Shh. 715 00:45:04,471 --> 00:45:06,140 Or should I go by IQ? 716 00:45:06,173 --> 00:45:09,743 Pick Jason. He's my mom's favorite. 717 00:45:09,777 --> 00:45:11,745 -Yep. Him. -The one in the sweater. 718 00:45:11,779 --> 00:45:14,215 All right. Jason Lightstone it is. 719 00:45:14,248 --> 00:45:15,416 -The number one son. -No. 720 00:45:15,449 --> 00:45:16,884 Wait, wait, wait. No, we don't need... 721 00:45:16,917 --> 00:45:18,219 We don't need to do that. No, it's okay. 722 00:45:18,252 --> 00:45:20,354 No. No, no, no. We don't need to do this. 723 00:45:20,387 --> 00:45:21,523 No. No, no, no, no. 724 00:45:21,556 --> 00:45:23,123 Don't, don't, don't. 725 00:45:23,157 --> 00:45:25,492 No, don't... Put it... Don't... No. 726 00:45:25,527 --> 00:45:27,494 -No, no, no, no. No, no. -Give me this fucking... 727 00:45:36,538 --> 00:45:39,273 I'm telling you, no one hired a Santa. 728 00:45:39,306 --> 00:45:40,975 All right, all right, all right. You're right. 729 00:45:41,008 --> 00:45:42,042 You're right. Let's stop it. Let's stop it. 730 00:45:42,076 --> 00:45:44,144 What are we doing here? Come on. 731 00:45:44,178 --> 00:45:47,181 What are we, amateurs? We're half-assing this. 732 00:45:47,214 --> 00:45:50,351 Come on. It's not called a finger cracker. 733 00:45:51,519 --> 00:45:53,420 Okay, Candy Cane. 734 00:45:53,454 --> 00:45:54,922 Stick one of his bozaks in there. 735 00:45:54,955 --> 00:45:56,123 I'm not touching his balls. 736 00:45:56,156 --> 00:45:57,858 What, are you a princess all of a sudden? 737 00:45:57,891 --> 00:45:59,527 I've seen you scoop out brains before. 738 00:45:59,561 --> 00:46:00,928 You want me to scoop his brains out, 739 00:46:00,961 --> 00:46:02,396 I'll scoop his brains out right now, 740 00:46:02,429 --> 00:46:03,531 but I'm not touching his junk. 741 00:46:03,565 --> 00:46:05,032 I don't care who does it. 742 00:46:05,065 --> 00:46:06,534 I better be looking at flat balls, 743 00:46:06,568 --> 00:46:08,068 like, in three seconds. 744 00:46:08,102 --> 00:46:10,404 I'll do it. 745 00:46:10,437 --> 00:46:11,839 Krampus. Perfect. 746 00:46:11,872 --> 00:46:13,140 Oh, not that guy. Not that guy. 747 00:46:13,173 --> 00:46:14,542 That's what I love about sociopaths. 748 00:46:14,576 --> 00:46:15,943 Always up for trying new things. 749 00:46:15,976 --> 00:46:17,211 You don't need to do this, okay? 750 00:46:17,244 --> 00:46:19,179 No, it's all right. Um... Oh, no. 751 00:46:19,213 --> 00:46:21,815 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 752 00:46:21,849 --> 00:46:24,251 Oh, God. Oh, my God. 753 00:46:25,919 --> 00:46:27,354 Put your nuts in. 754 00:46:27,388 --> 00:46:28,889 Yummy, yummy. 755 00:46:28,922 --> 00:46:31,492 Stop hurting my daddy... 756 00:46:31,526 --> 00:46:34,061 or Santa will get mad. 757 00:46:34,928 --> 00:46:37,064 Ah, what a cutie. 758 00:46:37,097 --> 00:46:39,099 So, what do we know about Santa, little one? 759 00:46:39,133 --> 00:46:41,068 She doesn't know anything about Santa. 760 00:46:41,969 --> 00:46:43,538 He wasn't asking you. 761 00:46:43,571 --> 00:46:46,106 She's playing make-believe. 762 00:46:46,140 --> 00:46:48,442 She's pretending to talk to Santa. 763 00:46:48,475 --> 00:46:50,444 It's not pretend. Santa's my friend, 764 00:46:50,477 --> 00:46:52,212 and he said he's going to save us. 765 00:46:52,246 --> 00:46:53,447 No. 766 00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:55,482 -And beat you up. -Oh, is he? 767 00:46:55,517 --> 00:46:58,319 I bet he'd come out of hiding if you asked him to, huh? 768 00:46:58,352 --> 00:46:59,953 What do you say you come with me 769 00:46:59,987 --> 00:47:01,989 -and we play a little game with him, huh? -No, no, no. 770 00:47:02,022 --> 00:47:03,324 Trudy, come on. Tell him the truth now. 771 00:47:03,357 --> 00:47:05,192 -You aren't talking to Santa. -Yes, I am. 772 00:47:05,225 --> 00:47:06,594 No, you're not. Come on, now. 773 00:47:06,628 --> 00:47:09,296 -Yes, I am. -Damn it, Trudy, Santa isn't real! 774 00:47:17,539 --> 00:47:19,373 I'm sorry, honey. 775 00:47:20,307 --> 00:47:22,476 Santa's just a thing adults tell kids 776 00:47:22,510 --> 00:47:24,878 to make them feel better, okay? 777 00:47:26,648 --> 00:47:28,916 Your mommy and I give you the presents, 778 00:47:28,949 --> 00:47:30,951 and we say they're from Santa. 779 00:47:32,119 --> 00:47:33,521 He's not coming to save us. 780 00:47:33,555 --> 00:47:35,923 He doesn't exist. 781 00:47:35,956 --> 00:47:38,292 It's all made-up. 782 00:47:39,694 --> 00:47:41,663 -Really? -Aw. 783 00:47:41,696 --> 00:47:44,365 What a way to find out that there's no Santa. 784 00:47:44,398 --> 00:47:46,568 Hey, let's come back Easter and ruin the Easter Bunny 785 00:47:46,601 --> 00:47:48,536 for her, too, huh? 786 00:47:48,570 --> 00:47:50,104 -Trudy! -Come back here! 787 00:47:50,137 --> 00:47:51,438 -Stop her! -Trudy! -Hey! 788 00:47:51,472 --> 00:47:53,240 You idiots, stay at your posts. 789 00:47:53,273 --> 00:47:54,408 Trudy! 790 00:47:54,441 --> 00:47:56,944 I'll find this little brat. 791 00:49:03,210 --> 00:49:04,378 Okay. 792 00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:36,009 Santa. Santa. 793 00:49:36,043 --> 00:49:37,745 Santa! 794 00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:41,381 This is Trudy. 795 00:49:42,316 --> 00:49:45,385 Are you okay, Santa? 796 00:49:47,454 --> 00:49:48,723 Hi. Hey. 797 00:49:48,756 --> 00:49:50,625 Are you okay? 798 00:49:50,658 --> 00:49:52,627 I'm good. Uh... 799 00:49:52,660 --> 00:49:55,028 I was just wrapping something up. 800 00:49:55,062 --> 00:49:57,164 I ran away and hid in the attic. 801 00:49:57,197 --> 00:50:00,367 Okay. If you're safe... 802 00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:03,370 uh, just stay there and, uh, stay quiet, all right? 803 00:50:03,403 --> 00:50:08,242 Okay. I can set up booby traps, like in Home Alone. 804 00:50:08,275 --> 00:50:09,777 Okay, I don't know what that means, 805 00:50:09,811 --> 00:50:11,513 but, uh, yeah, do that. 806 00:50:11,546 --> 00:50:13,515 Just do it quietly. 807 00:50:14,782 --> 00:50:16,751 Are you really Santa? 808 00:50:20,655 --> 00:50:23,056 Of course I am, sweetheart. 809 00:50:23,791 --> 00:50:26,493 My daddy says there isn't any Santa. 810 00:50:28,161 --> 00:50:31,164 He says parents just tell their kids that Santa's real 811 00:50:31,198 --> 00:50:32,700 to make them feel better. 812 00:50:32,734 --> 00:50:35,637 He said they give us presents 813 00:50:35,670 --> 00:50:38,238 and say they're from Santa. 814 00:50:38,272 --> 00:50:40,173 Yeah. 815 00:50:40,207 --> 00:50:42,342 Yeah, a lot of parents say that. 816 00:50:42,376 --> 00:50:46,446 But I still bring presents to kids that need me. 817 00:50:47,682 --> 00:50:50,117 Kids who really believe. 818 00:50:51,285 --> 00:50:54,354 How do you know who really needs you? 819 00:50:54,388 --> 00:50:56,356 Christmas magic. 820 00:50:56,390 --> 00:50:58,626 I'm not really sure how it works. 821 00:51:06,466 --> 00:51:08,703 But, uh... 822 00:51:10,872 --> 00:51:14,107 I remember, um... 823 00:51:14,141 --> 00:51:15,843 when Trudy Lightstone wrote to me. 824 00:51:15,877 --> 00:51:18,378 She must have been about six years old, 825 00:51:18,412 --> 00:51:22,249 and she said that she felt lonely sometimes. 826 00:51:22,282 --> 00:51:24,586 She missed having a best friend. 827 00:51:24,619 --> 00:51:25,853 And so I brought her 828 00:51:25,887 --> 00:51:27,755 a beautiful little stuffed rabbit. 829 00:51:27,789 --> 00:51:29,256 Mr. Bunny. 830 00:51:29,289 --> 00:51:31,258 And then I remember the next year, 831 00:51:31,291 --> 00:51:33,327 and you said you had this amazing dream 832 00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:37,364 and that, afterwards, all you wanted to do was... 833 00:51:37,397 --> 00:51:38,733 To fly! 834 00:51:38,766 --> 00:51:41,168 To fly. To fly. 835 00:51:42,369 --> 00:51:46,708 I mean, Santa might have some magic, but... 836 00:51:46,741 --> 00:51:50,511 making a little girl fly? 837 00:51:52,647 --> 00:51:56,818 But giving you a kite, 838 00:51:56,851 --> 00:52:00,253 floating just beneath the clouds, 839 00:52:00,287 --> 00:52:02,890 well, it's about as good as it gets. 840 00:52:02,924 --> 00:52:04,826 I knew it. 841 00:52:04,859 --> 00:52:07,361 I knew you were real, Santa. 842 00:52:09,931 --> 00:52:13,133 Don't be too hard on your parents, all right? 843 00:52:14,702 --> 00:52:17,605 Grown-ups have a hard time believing things. 844 00:52:18,438 --> 00:52:20,808 Can you use your Christmas magic 845 00:52:20,842 --> 00:52:23,176 to make them love each other again? 846 00:52:23,210 --> 00:52:25,546 I wish I had that kind of power. 847 00:52:26,514 --> 00:52:30,183 Mrs. Claus and I have been going on year, uh, 848 00:52:30,217 --> 00:52:32,486 1,100, and... 849 00:52:33,420 --> 00:52:36,256 Grown-up relationships are complicated. 850 00:52:36,924 --> 00:52:39,259 It takes work. 851 00:52:39,292 --> 00:52:41,395 A lot of work. 852 00:52:43,631 --> 00:52:45,767 Do you still love her? 853 00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:47,669 Yeah, I do. 854 00:52:48,736 --> 00:52:52,305 And sometimes, even if you want to make somebody happy... 855 00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:55,710 ...the magic just goes away. 856 00:52:57,745 --> 00:52:59,947 Hey. 857 00:52:59,981 --> 00:53:01,816 I've got an idea. 858 00:53:01,849 --> 00:53:03,551 This will be fun. 859 00:53:04,585 --> 00:53:07,722 Why don't you guys open your presents? 860 00:53:07,755 --> 00:53:12,325 I want to see what you rich assholes get each other. 861 00:53:12,359 --> 00:53:17,965 And some of you might not make it till tomorrow morning, 862 00:53:17,999 --> 00:53:21,201 so this could be your only chance. 863 00:53:21,869 --> 00:53:23,370 Come on. 864 00:53:23,403 --> 00:53:26,239 Where's the Christmas spirit? 865 00:53:27,675 --> 00:53:29,711 Uh... 866 00:53:30,745 --> 00:53:34,916 Gertrude, uh, I got you something pretty special. 867 00:53:34,949 --> 00:53:36,383 Did you hear that, Gertrude? 868 00:53:36,416 --> 00:53:38,351 He got you something amazing. 869 00:53:38,385 --> 00:53:41,354 Oh, what could it be? 870 00:53:41,388 --> 00:53:43,658 Oh, my God, this is exciting. 871 00:53:43,691 --> 00:53:45,827 Mom. 872 00:53:45,860 --> 00:53:47,628 Can I call you Mom? 873 00:53:48,763 --> 00:53:50,497 Mrs. Lightstone. 874 00:53:52,332 --> 00:53:55,670 Okay, so in the business, they call this... 875 00:53:56,671 --> 00:53:58,238 ...a pitch deck. 876 00:53:58,940 --> 00:54:00,007 -Pitch deck. -Yeah. 877 00:54:00,041 --> 00:54:01,843 It's called Explosive Force. 878 00:54:01,876 --> 00:54:03,477 Starring me. 879 00:54:03,511 --> 00:54:05,046 And if you look in the back, 880 00:54:05,079 --> 00:54:08,783 there are the financial numbers. 881 00:54:08,816 --> 00:54:12,319 I'm kind of a big deal in Asia. 882 00:54:13,521 --> 00:54:15,623 Parts of Asia, at least. 883 00:54:15,656 --> 00:54:17,658 We were in parts of Asia once, and, like, 884 00:54:17,692 --> 00:54:19,459 we couldn't even go to a restaurant. 885 00:54:19,493 --> 00:54:22,897 Ah, what is there a better gift than... 886 00:54:22,930 --> 00:54:26,399 gift of a golden opportunity? 887 00:54:27,668 --> 00:54:29,837 Oh, no. 888 00:54:31,038 --> 00:54:33,574 Granny doesn't like it. 889 00:54:33,608 --> 00:54:36,343 Mother, I got you something really special. 890 00:54:42,517 --> 00:54:45,019 It's a sentimental photo of the day I was born. 891 00:54:45,052 --> 00:54:47,088 I remember. 892 00:54:47,121 --> 00:54:48,556 I was there. 893 00:54:48,589 --> 00:54:50,758 She doesn't give a shit. 894 00:54:53,393 --> 00:54:54,896 Swing and miss again! 895 00:54:54,929 --> 00:54:56,363 This is so fun. 896 00:54:56,396 --> 00:54:57,532 Mommy, how about another one? 897 00:54:57,565 --> 00:54:59,066 I got you a lot of good things. 898 00:54:59,100 --> 00:55:01,102 -I'll grab one. -Alva, Alva, sit down. 899 00:55:01,135 --> 00:55:02,937 You've already given me one. It's... 900 00:55:02,970 --> 00:55:04,105 It's Jason's turn. 901 00:55:04,138 --> 00:55:05,673 Uh... 902 00:55:05,706 --> 00:55:09,409 I th... I-I think I left it in the car. 903 00:55:09,442 --> 00:55:11,411 No, I-I saw you put one under the tree earlier. 904 00:55:11,444 --> 00:55:13,714 -No. It's in the... -Yeah, I did. 905 00:55:13,748 --> 00:55:16,818 I could've sworn. You know what, it's, uh... 906 00:55:16,851 --> 00:55:18,853 Y-You don't... you don't... you don't... you... 907 00:55:18,886 --> 00:55:21,589 It's this one, right? Yeah, I got you, bro. 908 00:55:21,622 --> 00:55:22,957 Come on. 909 00:55:24,759 --> 00:55:26,828 Thank you. 910 00:55:27,862 --> 00:55:29,964 It's my favorite whiskey. 911 00:55:29,997 --> 00:55:32,767 You can skip the note. 912 00:55:56,057 --> 00:55:57,859 Thank you, Jason. 913 00:56:03,197 --> 00:56:05,600 What's the card say? 914 00:56:05,633 --> 00:56:08,502 I think I'll just keep that between Jason and I. 915 00:56:08,536 --> 00:56:12,673 No one really needs to know. Right, Jason? 916 00:56:15,042 --> 00:56:16,811 Right. 917 00:56:17,845 --> 00:56:20,047 Did you ever have a mommy and daddy? 918 00:56:21,916 --> 00:56:23,885 Yeah, of course I had a mommy and daddy. 919 00:56:23,918 --> 00:56:27,688 I wasn't... I wasn't always Santa Claus. 920 00:56:28,556 --> 00:56:30,791 I had a life before this. 921 00:56:31,726 --> 00:56:34,528 A long, long, long time ago. 922 00:56:38,666 --> 00:56:41,736 They used to call me, uh... 923 00:56:41,769 --> 00:56:43,804 Nicomund. 924 00:56:47,474 --> 00:56:48,976 Nicomund the Red. 925 00:56:50,645 --> 00:56:53,214 You had a different job then? 926 00:56:53,247 --> 00:56:56,050 Yeah, you could say that. 927 00:56:56,083 --> 00:56:57,919 I was a warrior. 928 00:56:57,952 --> 00:56:59,987 A raider. A thief. 929 00:57:00,021 --> 00:57:03,991 And if somebody got in my way, 930 00:57:04,025 --> 00:57:05,626 me and Skullcrusher would... 931 00:57:05,660 --> 00:57:07,427 Who's Skullcrusher? 932 00:57:08,095 --> 00:57:11,132 Skullcrusher's my, uh... 933 00:57:11,165 --> 00:57:13,935 my hammer. 934 00:57:13,968 --> 00:57:16,170 My favorite hammer. 935 00:57:16,203 --> 00:57:18,606 I was a surgeon with that thing. 936 00:57:18,639 --> 00:57:20,975 Used to be able to take three heads, line 'em up... 937 00:57:22,710 --> 00:57:25,112 But why? 938 00:57:25,146 --> 00:57:26,681 What? 939 00:57:26,714 --> 00:57:29,449 Why'd you do those things? 940 00:57:31,185 --> 00:57:33,486 Because I was mean. 941 00:57:34,622 --> 00:57:36,724 And I was greedy. 942 00:57:38,592 --> 00:57:41,562 And I wanted gold, jewels. 943 00:57:41,595 --> 00:57:43,965 Yeah, I mean, if there was a naughty list back then, 944 00:57:43,998 --> 00:57:46,000 I'd be top dog. 945 00:57:47,802 --> 00:57:49,770 Well, maybe... 946 00:57:50,738 --> 00:57:51,672 What? 947 00:57:51,706 --> 00:57:54,041 Maybe all those bad things you used to do... 948 00:57:55,142 --> 00:57:58,546 ...maybe you can use them to do good things instead. 949 00:57:59,180 --> 00:58:01,582 To help. 950 00:58:01,615 --> 00:58:03,517 What do you mean? 951 00:58:03,551 --> 00:58:07,788 Mr. Bunny, he wasn't just a toy. 952 00:58:07,822 --> 00:58:11,158 That night, you gave me what I wished for. 953 00:58:11,192 --> 00:58:13,094 A best friend. 954 00:58:14,128 --> 00:58:16,764 'Cause you're good and kind. 955 00:58:16,797 --> 00:58:20,234 And you mean more than just the presents you bring. 956 00:58:20,267 --> 00:58:23,004 That's why I believe in you, Santa. 957 00:58:23,037 --> 00:58:25,573 That's why I believe. 958 00:58:31,012 --> 00:58:32,780 Thank you. 959 00:58:34,615 --> 00:58:38,552 You stay hidden, Trudy, till I come get you. 960 00:58:38,586 --> 00:58:40,654 Stay safe. 961 00:58:41,756 --> 00:58:44,225 All right, we got satellite confirmation. 962 00:58:44,258 --> 00:58:46,327 Extraction team's on the go. 963 00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:48,896 30 minutes. 964 00:58:48,929 --> 00:58:50,264 We're on schedule. 965 00:58:50,297 --> 00:58:51,799 Everything's good. 966 00:58:51,832 --> 00:58:53,300 All right, fellas. 967 00:58:53,334 --> 00:58:54,969 Look alive, look alive. 968 00:58:55,002 --> 00:58:56,771 You all know the plan, 969 00:58:56,804 --> 00:59:00,207 and I like my operations like I like to fuck: 970 00:59:00,241 --> 00:59:02,877 hard and fast with minimal cleanup. 971 00:59:02,910 --> 00:59:07,314 Now, some idiot gets in your way, what do you do? 972 00:59:07,348 --> 00:59:09,583 Fuck their shit up right! 973 00:59:09,617 --> 00:59:11,152 Damn right. 974 00:59:12,019 --> 00:59:14,789 Time to lube up. 975 00:59:15,890 --> 00:59:18,659 Let's go, motherfuckers! Let's go! 976 00:59:24,365 --> 00:59:26,801 This fucking family. 977 00:59:45,986 --> 00:59:48,189 Ho, ho, ho, ho. 978 00:59:48,222 --> 00:59:50,024 Merry Christmas. 979 00:59:50,057 --> 00:59:51,225 Happy holidays. 980 00:59:51,258 --> 00:59:52,326 Traitor. 981 00:59:53,928 --> 00:59:55,896 I got him in the east wing. 982 00:59:55,930 --> 00:59:58,232 All right, we're on our way. Hold him. 983 01:00:11,745 --> 01:00:13,747 Step aside. 984 01:00:27,161 --> 01:00:29,930 Now, how did this tired, old, 985 01:00:29,964 --> 01:00:32,666 fat piece of shit get the drop on us? 986 01:00:32,700 --> 01:00:34,034 I don't know. 987 01:00:34,068 --> 01:00:36,036 He's not even armed. 988 01:00:36,070 --> 01:00:38,405 This bag is the only thing he had on him. 989 01:00:38,439 --> 01:00:39,974 What's in there? 990 01:00:40,774 --> 01:00:42,810 Can't see anything. 991 01:00:46,847 --> 01:00:48,249 Here, give it to me. 992 01:00:59,326 --> 01:01:01,896 What kind of moron... 993 01:01:01,929 --> 01:01:04,131 carries a chess set with him? 994 01:01:08,002 --> 01:01:09,003 What the fuck? 995 01:01:09,036 --> 01:01:11,839 Doesn't make any sense. Look at all this shit. 996 01:01:19,046 --> 01:01:22,049 So, you're gonna tell us what's the gimmick with the bag? 997 01:01:22,082 --> 01:01:23,751 It's magic. 998 01:01:23,784 --> 01:01:26,754 You put your hand in, out comes a present. 999 01:01:28,189 --> 01:01:31,025 I don't really understand how it works, either. 1000 01:01:32,326 --> 01:01:35,329 So, you're Mr. Scrooge. 1001 01:01:35,362 --> 01:01:37,331 That's right. 1002 01:01:37,364 --> 01:01:39,166 But who are you? 1003 01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:41,235 Weihnachtsmann. 1004 01:01:42,537 --> 01:01:44,705 Julenissen. 1005 01:01:45,372 --> 01:01:47,308 Shèngdàn Laorén. 1006 01:01:48,242 --> 01:01:51,345 Babbo Natale, Père Noel, Kris Kringle. 1007 01:01:51,378 --> 01:01:53,948 Jolly old Saint Nick. 1008 01:01:53,981 --> 01:01:57,017 People call me a lot of things. 1009 01:01:57,885 --> 01:02:00,354 Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. 1010 01:02:00,387 --> 01:02:02,823 Or should I say, "Ho, ho, ho"? 1011 01:02:02,856 --> 01:02:06,327 If you're Santa, where's your reindeer? 1012 01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:08,162 They were on the roof 1013 01:02:08,195 --> 01:02:10,864 until that guy I turned into an ice kebab just... 1014 01:02:13,400 --> 01:02:15,069 You don't believe me? 1015 01:02:15,102 --> 01:02:16,170 Go check. 1016 01:02:16,203 --> 01:02:19,006 Prancer left a tasty log up there. 1017 01:02:19,039 --> 01:02:20,841 This fucking guy. 1018 01:02:20,874 --> 01:02:22,409 You don't think... 1019 01:02:22,443 --> 01:02:25,779 Now, I know you're an idiot, but don't be an idiot out loud. 1020 01:02:25,813 --> 01:02:27,815 Come on, he's just in Santy Claus 1021 01:02:27,848 --> 01:02:29,817 with a fucking trick bag. 1022 01:02:29,850 --> 01:02:31,852 Oh, no! 1023 01:02:31,885 --> 01:02:33,487 That bag was full of kids' dreams! 1024 01:02:33,521 --> 01:02:35,322 Oh, come on. 1025 01:02:35,356 --> 01:02:37,958 Everybody knows that Christmas dreams are bullshit. 1026 01:02:38,859 --> 01:02:41,128 My father used to make a big deal out of it 1027 01:02:41,161 --> 01:02:42,963 every Christmas. 1028 01:02:42,997 --> 01:02:45,065 Every freaking Christmas with the presents 1029 01:02:45,099 --> 01:02:47,268 and the candy and the decorations 1030 01:02:47,301 --> 01:02:51,138 and the Christmas caroling and all that bullshit. 1031 01:02:52,439 --> 01:02:54,808 And then when I was... 1032 01:02:54,842 --> 01:02:58,145 I don't know, ten, 11, 1033 01:02:58,178 --> 01:03:00,281 he got laid off, and that Christmas, 1034 01:03:00,314 --> 01:03:01,516 couldn't even afford a tree. 1035 01:03:01,549 --> 01:03:03,317 No Christmas dinner, no gifts. 1036 01:03:03,350 --> 01:03:05,919 Nothing, nada, culo, dick. 1037 01:03:06,521 --> 01:03:08,022 But our neighbors... 1038 01:03:08,055 --> 01:03:09,890 our neighbors, oh, they had it all. 1039 01:03:09,923 --> 01:03:11,559 I could see all that yuletide cheer 1040 01:03:11,593 --> 01:03:14,161 through their window mocking me. 1041 01:03:14,194 --> 01:03:18,098 So Christmas Eve rolls around, and... 1042 01:03:18,132 --> 01:03:21,168 I waited for everybody to go to bed. 1043 01:03:21,201 --> 01:03:24,805 And then I snuck in there to take it all. 1044 01:03:25,939 --> 01:03:28,042 Only problem was that the gramps got up to take a piss 1045 01:03:28,075 --> 01:03:30,444 and the two of us scared the shit out of each other. 1046 01:03:30,477 --> 01:03:33,447 And, um, he fell down the stairs 1047 01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:38,052 and-and broke his neck, and he died in the hospital. 1048 01:03:38,085 --> 01:03:39,587 Everybody thought that I did it, 1049 01:03:39,621 --> 01:03:41,322 and every time I tried to tell them, 1050 01:03:41,355 --> 01:03:43,824 I tried to tell them that... 1051 01:03:45,359 --> 01:03:47,461 Anyway, maybe I did do it. 1052 01:03:47,494 --> 01:03:49,496 Maybe I did push him. 1053 01:03:49,531 --> 01:03:51,465 Poor old fucker. 1054 01:03:51,498 --> 01:03:54,902 So, you see, Christmas ruined my life. 1055 01:03:54,935 --> 01:03:56,470 Okay? But you know what? 1056 01:03:56,504 --> 01:03:57,938 It set me on the path 1057 01:03:57,971 --> 01:03:59,973 and made me the great man that I am today. 1058 01:04:00,007 --> 01:04:02,042 I'm sorry, Jimmy. 1059 01:04:02,677 --> 01:04:04,244 I really am. 1060 01:04:05,212 --> 01:04:07,147 But I do gifts. I do Christmas cheer. 1061 01:04:07,181 --> 01:04:09,316 I don't get involved in people's lives. 1062 01:04:09,350 --> 01:04:13,287 Oh, yeah? Yeah, well, maybe you fucking should! 1063 01:04:17,659 --> 01:04:21,128 Um, how did he know your name? 1064 01:04:21,161 --> 01:04:22,564 Oh, Bjorn. 1065 01:04:22,597 --> 01:04:25,032 What's your excuse? 1066 01:04:25,065 --> 01:04:26,200 Huh? 1067 01:04:26,233 --> 01:04:29,604 Didn't I get you that Huffy bike you wanted back in '82? 1068 01:04:29,637 --> 01:04:32,973 One you wrote me 50 times about! 1069 01:04:33,006 --> 01:04:34,375 What about you, Kira? 1070 01:04:34,408 --> 01:04:37,512 Well, you made your brother eat worms. 1071 01:04:37,545 --> 01:04:39,113 That's naughty! 1072 01:04:39,146 --> 01:04:41,048 Okay, how does he know about my bike? 1073 01:04:41,081 --> 01:04:44,552 It's a lucky guess, like: "Hey, do you like big tits?" 1074 01:04:44,586 --> 01:04:46,521 Come on, every kid wants a fucking bike. 1075 01:04:46,554 --> 01:04:49,624 -You're gonna tell me who you work for... -Oh, Christ. No. 1076 01:04:49,657 --> 01:04:53,060 ...then you've got five seconds to tell me who you really are. 1077 01:04:53,093 --> 01:04:55,929 Five, four, three, two... 1078 01:04:55,963 --> 01:04:57,532 I'm Santa Claus! 1079 01:04:57,565 --> 01:05:00,000 Well, not anymore. 1080 01:05:24,692 --> 01:05:26,694 Is it snowing? 1081 01:05:26,728 --> 01:05:30,130 Is he doing this with Santa magic? 1082 01:05:36,538 --> 01:05:39,039 Let it snow! 1083 01:05:50,618 --> 01:05:52,554 It's not snow. 1084 01:05:52,587 --> 01:05:54,021 It's Styrofoam. 1085 01:05:54,054 --> 01:05:56,256 I told you this guy's a big phony. 1086 01:06:10,638 --> 01:06:12,640 Where'd he go? 1087 01:06:12,674 --> 01:06:14,174 He went up the chimney. 1088 01:06:14,208 --> 01:06:15,743 -I saw it. -I don't know, 1089 01:06:15,777 --> 01:06:17,745 he had a rig or some pulley system 1090 01:06:17,779 --> 01:06:19,747 -that just yanked him up. -You can't fit up there. 1091 01:06:19,781 --> 01:06:21,348 -It's impossible. -Oh, you see one weird thing, 1092 01:06:21,381 --> 01:06:23,618 and then you think you're in a fairy tale? 1093 01:06:23,651 --> 01:06:25,052 Incoming. 1094 01:06:25,085 --> 01:06:25,787 We've got sleigh bells approaching. 1095 01:06:25,820 --> 01:06:27,622 Oh, my God. 1096 01:06:27,655 --> 01:06:29,557 It's his reindeer. 1097 01:06:31,258 --> 01:06:33,227 It's the extraction team. 1098 01:06:33,260 --> 01:06:35,395 Pull yourselves together! 1099 01:06:50,344 --> 01:06:54,582 And that is the sound of my Kill Squad. 1100 01:06:56,183 --> 01:06:58,218 Oh, you're fizzity-fucked now. 1101 01:06:58,252 --> 01:07:00,387 Huh? What are you gonna do? You little elf bitch. 1102 01:07:00,420 --> 01:07:01,723 Fu... 1103 01:07:01,756 --> 01:07:03,056 Bertie. 1104 01:07:03,090 --> 01:07:04,491 Hashtag "blessed." 1105 01:07:07,562 --> 01:07:10,264 Yeah! 1106 01:07:10,297 --> 01:07:11,398 Parkour. 1107 01:07:11,431 --> 01:07:12,399 Kill him, babe! 1108 01:07:12,432 --> 01:07:15,168 Oh! 1109 01:07:15,870 --> 01:07:17,572 Morgan's gonna save us. 1110 01:07:19,373 --> 01:07:23,176 Jean-Claude Van Dipshit just ditched us, sweetie. 1111 01:07:30,183 --> 01:07:32,152 Hold your fire. 1112 01:07:32,185 --> 01:07:33,655 Barrel roll! 1113 01:07:35,455 --> 01:07:36,624 Easy, easy. 1114 01:07:36,658 --> 01:07:38,593 -Yeah! -Easy. 1115 01:07:38,626 --> 01:07:39,794 Identify yourself. 1116 01:07:39,827 --> 01:07:42,462 I'm one of the hostages. 1117 01:07:42,496 --> 01:07:45,432 Morgan Steel, the actor. 1118 01:07:45,465 --> 01:07:48,402 Played a lot of soldiers in my career. 1119 01:07:48,435 --> 01:07:52,139 Can I just say, thank you for your service. Semper fi. 1120 01:07:52,807 --> 01:07:54,709 What's the situation inside? 1121 01:07:54,742 --> 01:07:57,210 Bunch of ex-military guys, 1122 01:07:57,244 --> 01:07:59,212 but I got to warn you, they know you're coming. 1123 01:07:59,246 --> 01:08:00,748 I think they're ready for you. 1124 01:08:00,782 --> 01:08:02,650 They better be. 1125 01:08:02,684 --> 01:08:04,719 We're on a tight schedule. 1126 01:08:04,752 --> 01:08:06,621 Shit. 1127 01:08:09,891 --> 01:08:12,159 Oh, f... 1128 01:08:12,192 --> 01:08:15,429 -All right, let's move out. -Let's move out. 1129 01:08:19,567 --> 01:08:21,234 Come on. 1130 01:08:21,268 --> 01:08:23,370 You got to be kidding me. 1131 01:08:23,403 --> 01:08:25,138 Hey, Thorp, you're ten minutes late. 1132 01:08:25,172 --> 01:08:26,473 What kept you? 1133 01:08:26,507 --> 01:08:28,710 Looks to me like your net's got a hole in it. 1134 01:08:28,743 --> 01:08:31,311 Or are you just letting your hostages out for some exercise? 1135 01:08:31,345 --> 01:08:33,480 No, no, no. We got a wild gopher running around 1136 01:08:33,514 --> 01:08:36,183 complicating shit and causing problems. 1137 01:08:36,216 --> 01:08:37,619 Who? Lightstone security? 1138 01:08:37,652 --> 01:08:39,286 Nah, I don't think so. Some intruder dressed as Santa. 1139 01:08:39,319 --> 01:08:40,788 But I'm telling you, I'm telling you, 1140 01:08:40,822 --> 01:08:42,824 there's something weird about him. 1141 01:08:42,857 --> 01:08:44,491 Might be the real Santa. 1142 01:08:44,525 --> 01:08:46,861 -The fuck did she just say? -Nothing, nothing. 1143 01:08:46,894 --> 01:08:48,161 She's joking. 1144 01:08:48,195 --> 01:08:50,598 My squad will take care of it. 1145 01:08:52,900 --> 01:08:55,637 Beta Team, go find this asshole. 1146 01:08:55,670 --> 01:08:57,639 Go. 1147 01:08:57,672 --> 01:09:01,876 Now, let's unwrap our present, shall we? 1148 01:09:01,909 --> 01:09:04,277 All right, you heard the man. 1149 01:09:04,311 --> 01:09:06,781 Time to kill Santa. 1150 01:09:06,814 --> 01:09:09,349 I've got him. He's on the roof. 1151 01:09:09,383 --> 01:09:11,653 Roger that. I got eyes on him. 1152 01:09:28,970 --> 01:09:30,938 Right, Sugarplum. Hit that button. 1153 01:09:37,912 --> 01:09:39,814 Here we go. 1154 01:09:39,847 --> 01:09:41,314 Our skeleton key. 1155 01:09:41,348 --> 01:09:43,216 The "open" magic stick. 1156 01:09:43,250 --> 01:09:44,752 This better fucking work. 1157 01:09:44,786 --> 01:09:47,487 I'm flushing my career for this, my reputation. 1158 01:09:47,522 --> 01:09:50,390 Yeah, well, then you can buy yourself a new rep. 1159 01:09:59,299 --> 01:10:00,702 As a kid, I loved 1160 01:10:00,735 --> 01:10:02,704 unwrapping Christmas presents so much 1161 01:10:02,737 --> 01:10:05,773 that my mom would wrap empty boxes for me. 1162 01:10:06,708 --> 01:10:09,209 I didn't care that nothing was inside. 1163 01:10:20,955 --> 01:10:23,591 Is this a fucking joke? 1164 01:10:23,624 --> 01:10:24,826 No. 1165 01:10:26,326 --> 01:10:27,995 You said it would fucking be here! 1166 01:10:28,029 --> 01:10:31,733 I'm telling you, my intel was rock solid. 1167 01:10:31,766 --> 01:10:34,367 I had guys on the inside. 1168 01:10:35,435 --> 01:10:38,740 300 million in cash was delivered here yesterday 1169 01:10:38,773 --> 01:10:41,241 to this fucking mansion. 1170 01:10:46,013 --> 01:10:48,783 Somebody must've intercepted it. 1171 01:10:52,787 --> 01:10:54,822 Son of a bitch. 1172 01:11:17,344 --> 01:11:18,746 Oh, shit. 1173 01:11:18,780 --> 01:11:21,348 Santa, you okay? 1174 01:11:21,381 --> 01:11:22,984 Santa. 1175 01:11:23,017 --> 01:11:25,086 A bunch of new bad guys showed up. 1176 01:11:25,119 --> 01:11:27,054 They're on the naughty list. 1177 01:11:27,088 --> 01:11:30,290 They got their gadgets and their gizmos on them. 1178 01:11:30,958 --> 01:11:33,460 I'm sorry. I think this is it, kid. 1179 01:11:33,493 --> 01:11:35,096 No, no, don't say that. 1180 01:11:35,129 --> 01:11:37,098 The naughty list... 1181 01:11:37,131 --> 01:11:39,667 just grows and grows. 1182 01:11:48,441 --> 01:11:52,079 He's in that structure. Body cams on. 1183 01:11:52,113 --> 01:11:54,115 Don't give up. 1184 01:11:54,148 --> 01:11:56,784 You make a wish this time, Santa. 1185 01:11:56,818 --> 01:11:58,485 Just this once. 1186 01:11:58,519 --> 01:12:01,454 If you could have anything in this world, 1187 01:12:01,488 --> 01:12:03,691 what would it be? 1188 01:12:09,462 --> 01:12:12,465 I wish I could see Mrs. Claus again, 1189 01:12:12,499 --> 01:12:15,570 tell her how much I love her. 1190 01:12:15,603 --> 01:12:18,438 Then you make that wish come true. 1191 01:12:18,471 --> 01:12:20,575 Oh, shit. 1192 01:12:20,608 --> 01:12:22,844 No, no, no, no. No, no. 1193 01:12:24,679 --> 01:12:25,947 Oh, God. 1194 01:12:25,980 --> 01:12:28,883 No. 1195 01:12:41,162 --> 01:12:44,131 You said these guys, they're naughty. 1196 01:12:44,165 --> 01:12:47,101 And what do you do to the naughty ones? 1197 01:12:47,134 --> 01:12:49,003 I give them a lump of coal. 1198 01:12:49,036 --> 01:12:51,471 Yeah. Give them their lumps. 1199 01:12:52,640 --> 01:12:54,842 Take that coal and shove it straight up their... 1200 01:12:54,876 --> 01:12:57,011 -Anuses. -Yeah! 1201 01:13:03,050 --> 01:13:04,752 They're right outside. 1202 01:13:19,066 --> 01:13:21,502 Santa's gonna eat through these guys 1203 01:13:21,535 --> 01:13:23,638 like a plate full of cookies. 1204 01:13:28,042 --> 01:13:29,577 Move, move. 1205 01:13:33,114 --> 01:13:34,949 Hey, lock it up. 1206 01:13:36,851 --> 01:13:38,753 Lights down. 1207 01:13:39,854 --> 01:13:41,923 Stay at my back. 1208 01:13:41,956 --> 01:13:43,891 All right, we got this, boys. 1209 01:14:02,777 --> 01:14:05,079 All right, where the fuck is my money?! 1210 01:14:05,112 --> 01:14:07,615 Where's the money?! 1211 01:14:18,259 --> 01:14:20,995 All right, I've been a sweetheart up to now. 1212 01:14:21,028 --> 01:14:22,596 But that's all over. 1213 01:14:22,630 --> 01:14:24,198 No more fucking games! 1214 01:14:24,231 --> 01:14:25,833 Where's the money? 1215 01:14:25,866 --> 01:14:28,903 Or I will shoot every last one of you and enjoy it. 1216 01:14:33,007 --> 01:14:35,743 -It's in the vault. -I just looked in the vault. 1217 01:14:35,776 --> 01:14:37,244 Had the money been in there, 1218 01:14:37,278 --> 01:14:38,980 I'd have a different expression on my face. 1219 01:14:39,013 --> 01:14:40,247 Impossible. 1220 01:14:40,281 --> 01:14:42,550 Takes days to get into that thing. 1221 01:14:42,583 --> 01:14:45,987 Not if we have the key, Mrs. Lightstone. 1222 01:14:47,288 --> 01:14:49,256 Thorp. 1223 01:14:50,791 --> 01:14:53,227 You can't trust anyone these days. 1224 01:14:53,260 --> 01:14:55,563 I'm not sure how, but you 1225 01:14:55,596 --> 01:14:58,299 or one of your shithead kids moved the money. 1226 01:14:58,332 --> 01:15:00,201 And this upsets me. 1227 01:15:00,234 --> 01:15:02,036 It upsets me 1228 01:15:02,069 --> 01:15:06,107 in a way that makes me want to just randomly shoot at people. 1229 01:15:07,074 --> 01:15:09,210 Hold on. Just... Sorry. 1230 01:15:09,243 --> 01:15:10,745 -Um... -What? What? 1231 01:15:10,778 --> 01:15:12,213 Uh, what if you randomly shoot 1232 01:15:12,246 --> 01:15:14,782 the only person who knows where it is? 1233 01:15:15,916 --> 01:15:17,985 Oh, fuck you people! 1234 01:15:22,723 --> 01:15:27,795 ♪ We waited all through the year ♪ 1235 01:15:28,662 --> 01:15:33,701 ♪ For the day to appear ♪ 1236 01:15:35,603 --> 01:15:41,208 ♪ When we could be together ♪ 1237 01:15:41,242 --> 01:15:43,811 ♪ In harmony ♪ 1238 01:15:45,212 --> 01:15:47,314 ♪ You know the time will come ♪ 1239 01:15:50,317 --> 01:15:52,720 ♪ Peace on Earth for everyone ♪ 1240 01:15:52,753 --> 01:15:54,188 Suck on this. 1241 01:15:58,759 --> 01:16:03,631 ♪ And we can live forever ♪ 1242 01:16:03,664 --> 01:16:06,867 ♪ In a world where we are free ♪ 1243 01:16:06,901 --> 01:16:09,904 ♪ Let it shine for you and me ♪ 1244 01:16:09,937 --> 01:16:13,207 ♪ There's something about Christmastime ♪ 1245 01:16:13,240 --> 01:16:16,177 ♪ Something about Christmastime ♪ 1246 01:16:16,210 --> 01:16:19,213 ♪ That makes you wish it was Christmas every day... ♪ 1247 01:16:19,246 --> 01:16:20,781 I need some feedback, guys. 1248 01:16:22,349 --> 01:16:24,618 Guys, what the hell is going on? 1249 01:16:25,319 --> 01:16:27,888 ♪ The way that the old folks smile ♪ 1250 01:16:27,922 --> 01:16:32,693 ♪ Says that Christmas will never go away ♪ 1251 01:16:34,128 --> 01:16:38,966 ♪ We're all as one tonight ♪ 1252 01:16:38,999 --> 01:16:43,737 ♪ Makes no difference if you're Black or white ♪ 1253 01:16:46,674 --> 01:16:49,210 ♪ 'Cause we can sing together ♪ 1254 01:16:52,012 --> 01:16:54,048 ♪ In harmony ♪ 1255 01:16:55,950 --> 01:17:00,754 ♪ I know it's not too late ♪ 1256 01:17:00,788 --> 01:17:03,724 ♪ The world would be ♪ 1257 01:17:03,757 --> 01:17:07,128 ♪ A better place ♪ 1258 01:17:09,263 --> 01:17:10,764 -What's that? -Huh? 1259 01:17:10,798 --> 01:17:12,867 ♪ If we can keep the spirit ♪ 1260 01:17:14,835 --> 01:17:17,271 ♪ More than one day in the year ♪ 1261 01:17:17,304 --> 01:17:21,675 ♪ Send a message loud and clear ♪ 1262 01:17:22,843 --> 01:17:25,779 ♪ There's something about Christmastime ♪ 1263 01:17:25,813 --> 01:17:28,215 ♪ Something about Christmastime ♪ 1264 01:17:28,249 --> 01:17:32,686 ♪ That makes you wish it was Christmas every day ♪ 1265 01:17:34,788 --> 01:17:38,325 ♪ To see the joy in the children's eyes ♪ 1266 01:17:38,359 --> 01:17:41,028 ♪ The way that the old folks smile ♪ 1267 01:17:41,061 --> 01:17:46,100 ♪ Says that Christmas will never go away ♪ 1268 01:17:47,067 --> 01:17:49,970 ♪ It's the time of year when everyone's together... ♪ 1269 01:17:50,004 --> 01:17:51,939 Jesus Christ. 1270 01:17:52,740 --> 01:17:55,176 Nope. Just jolly old Saint Nick. 1271 01:17:55,209 --> 01:17:57,378 ♪ Here on Christmas Day ♪ 1272 01:17:58,979 --> 01:18:02,783 ♪ When the ones you love are there ♪ 1273 01:18:02,816 --> 01:18:07,454 ♪ You can feel the magic in the air... ♪ 1274 01:18:07,488 --> 01:18:10,291 -Oh, God! -There you go. 1275 01:18:10,324 --> 01:18:12,026 A little stocking stuffer. 1276 01:18:12,960 --> 01:18:16,363 Where is it? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 1277 01:18:16,397 --> 01:18:18,933 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 1278 01:18:18,966 --> 01:18:21,735 -I got to watch. -Fuck! 1279 01:18:22,836 --> 01:18:24,972 Ho-Ho-Holy shit. 1280 01:18:25,005 --> 01:18:27,341 ♪ Christmas will never go away. ♪ 1281 01:18:27,374 --> 01:18:29,977 Gertrude would never trust anybody 1282 01:18:30,010 --> 01:18:32,346 who wasn't blood with this kind of info. 1283 01:18:32,379 --> 01:18:34,248 So... 1284 01:18:34,281 --> 01:18:37,818 the in-laws wouldn't know shit, 1285 01:18:37,851 --> 01:18:40,254 which means that I can shoot her... 1286 01:18:41,889 --> 01:18:43,857 ...unless you tell me where the fucking money is. 1287 01:18:43,891 --> 01:18:46,093 Please don't, okay? It's Christmas. 1288 01:18:46,126 --> 01:18:47,995 Shut up! 1289 01:18:48,896 --> 01:18:50,164 I swear, I'll blow her brains out 1290 01:18:50,197 --> 01:18:51,498 unless you tell me where the money went. 1291 01:18:51,533 --> 01:18:53,901 I did it! 1292 01:18:53,934 --> 01:18:56,203 -What? -Okay. Yeah, I did it. 1293 01:18:56,237 --> 01:18:58,138 -I moved the money. -No, d-don't-don't be an idiot. 1294 01:18:58,172 --> 01:18:59,940 -What? -The money's our only leverage. 1295 01:18:59,974 --> 01:19:01,775 Well, my wife has a fucking gun to her head, so... 1296 01:19:01,809 --> 01:19:03,511 Yeah, how did you find out that we were coming, huh? 1297 01:19:03,545 --> 01:19:05,246 I didn't. I was stealing it. 1298 01:19:06,581 --> 01:19:07,915 -Yeah, coincidence. -Oh, my God. 1299 01:19:07,948 --> 01:19:09,250 I was planning to take the money 1300 01:19:09,283 --> 01:19:12,386 and leave with my wife and daughter tonight 1301 01:19:12,419 --> 01:19:14,388 and never come back here. 1302 01:19:14,421 --> 01:19:17,858 Oh, and then my mom would, uh, 1303 01:19:17,891 --> 01:19:19,893 read the note with her whiskey in the morning 1304 01:19:19,927 --> 01:19:21,495 and know what I had done. 1305 01:19:21,529 --> 01:19:23,964 For years, I have been telling you 1306 01:19:23,998 --> 01:19:26,267 to stop caring about your mother's fucking money! 1307 01:19:26,300 --> 01:19:29,837 And you think the solution was to steal a bunch of it. 1308 01:19:30,538 --> 01:19:32,473 Well, it... yeah, it does sound stupid 1309 01:19:32,507 --> 01:19:34,041 when you say it like that. 1310 01:19:34,074 --> 01:19:36,076 How can you do this right now? 1311 01:19:36,110 --> 01:19:38,145 It's disgusting. After all that Mother has given us? 1312 01:19:38,178 --> 01:19:40,314 Come on, Alva. Everything she ever gave you, 1313 01:19:40,347 --> 01:19:41,549 she made damn sure we knew 1314 01:19:41,583 --> 01:19:42,916 she had the power to take right back. 1315 01:19:42,950 --> 01:19:46,820 I have spent years groveling to you. 1316 01:19:46,854 --> 01:19:49,456 In the meanwhile, I was destroying 1317 01:19:49,490 --> 01:19:51,526 the only good thing in my life. 1318 01:19:51,559 --> 01:19:53,027 What are we doing here, huh? 1319 01:19:53,060 --> 01:19:55,896 Family therapy or doing a heist? 1320 01:19:55,929 --> 01:19:58,932 Yeah, enough of this sharing bullshit. 1321 01:19:58,966 --> 01:20:00,934 All right. Where'd you put it? 1322 01:20:07,074 --> 01:20:09,810 Look at this little idiot. 1323 01:20:13,380 --> 01:20:15,015 Oh, no. 1324 01:20:15,049 --> 01:20:16,483 What? 1325 01:20:16,518 --> 01:20:18,452 -The bad guys found me. -Okay. 1326 01:20:18,485 --> 01:20:20,354 I'm coming. 1327 01:20:26,994 --> 01:20:30,964 You know, booby traps don't work unless you hide them. 1328 01:20:33,501 --> 01:20:35,102 You little moron. 1329 01:20:38,105 --> 01:20:40,374 Jesus! Shit! 1330 01:20:44,345 --> 01:20:46,380 Help me! Help me! Help! 1331 01:20:47,948 --> 01:20:50,017 You'll be f... You'll be fine. 1332 01:20:50,050 --> 01:20:52,219 Sit tight. I'll be back in a sec. 1333 01:20:55,122 --> 01:20:57,391 Right after I kill this little piece of shit! 1334 01:21:00,194 --> 01:21:02,496 You little fucking brat. 1335 01:21:51,211 --> 01:21:52,680 You're dead! 1336 01:21:52,714 --> 01:21:55,315 You're so fucking dead! 1337 01:22:02,456 --> 01:22:05,025 Fucking piece of shit. 1338 01:22:10,063 --> 01:22:12,933 You little... 1339 01:22:30,117 --> 01:22:32,186 Incoming! 1340 01:22:50,738 --> 01:22:52,607 Son of a fucking... 1341 01:23:02,684 --> 01:23:04,586 Fuck. 1342 01:23:04,619 --> 01:23:06,453 I got you now, kid. 1343 01:23:06,487 --> 01:23:08,222 Yeah? Heads up. 1344 01:23:10,290 --> 01:23:11,793 That's all you got? You fucking... 1345 01:23:14,662 --> 01:23:17,331 Enough of this shit. 1346 01:23:42,790 --> 01:23:44,157 Santa! 1347 01:23:54,101 --> 01:23:56,270 Hi, Trudy. Hi. 1348 01:23:56,303 --> 01:23:59,139 I made booby traps like in the movie. It was so funny. 1349 01:23:59,172 --> 01:24:01,609 Ho, ho, ho. 1350 01:24:07,549 --> 01:24:11,485 Trudy, I want you to, uh... just do me a favor. 1351 01:24:12,386 --> 01:24:15,289 Just turn around and close your eyes. 1352 01:24:15,322 --> 01:24:18,125 Maybe put your fingers in your ears and, uh, 1353 01:24:18,158 --> 01:24:21,194 sing "Jingle Bells" as loud as you can. 1354 01:24:21,228 --> 01:24:23,163 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪ 1355 01:24:23,196 --> 01:24:25,432 ♪ Jingle all the way ♪ 1356 01:24:25,465 --> 01:24:27,769 ♪ Oh, how fun it is to ride... ♪ 1357 01:24:27,802 --> 01:24:30,738 You were about to murder an innocent child. 1358 01:24:30,772 --> 01:24:31,839 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells... ♪ 1359 01:24:31,873 --> 01:24:33,575 Innocent? 1360 01:24:33,608 --> 01:24:35,577 It's naughty. 1361 01:24:35,610 --> 01:24:37,177 Naughty. 1362 01:24:37,745 --> 01:24:39,279 Naughty! 1363 01:24:39,313 --> 01:24:40,882 It's part of the Lightstone legacy. 1364 01:24:40,915 --> 01:24:42,717 We're horrible people. 1365 01:24:42,750 --> 01:24:44,451 So I get why you did what you did. 1366 01:24:44,484 --> 01:24:46,521 When your grandfather told me I'd never run the company 1367 01:24:46,554 --> 01:24:48,856 because a girl doesn't have what it takes, 1368 01:24:48,890 --> 01:24:50,858 I had to snatch the reins away from him. 1369 01:24:50,892 --> 01:24:52,426 But the point is, 1370 01:24:52,459 --> 01:24:54,227 a Lightstone takes what's theirs. 1371 01:24:54,261 --> 01:24:55,830 I'm proud of you, son. 1372 01:24:55,863 --> 01:24:57,331 All right, where the hell is it? 1373 01:24:59,667 --> 01:25:01,636 The money's hidden inside. 1374 01:25:02,804 --> 01:25:05,807 And the Three Wise Men presented him with gifts 1375 01:25:05,840 --> 01:25:08,710 of frankincense, myrrh... 1376 01:25:10,778 --> 01:25:13,848 ...and cold hard cash. 1377 01:25:13,881 --> 01:25:15,382 Load it up, boys. 1378 01:25:15,415 --> 01:25:17,752 All right, we're securing the money. 1379 01:25:17,785 --> 01:25:19,654 Kill the hostages and meet us outside. 1380 01:25:19,687 --> 01:25:21,488 What? 1381 01:25:21,522 --> 01:25:23,490 No. 1382 01:25:25,526 --> 01:25:26,728 Mom. 1383 01:25:26,761 --> 01:25:28,228 It's fine, Bert. 1384 01:25:28,261 --> 01:25:29,597 Everything's fine. 1385 01:25:29,631 --> 01:25:31,699 Okay. 1386 01:25:31,733 --> 01:25:33,768 Everybody, get up. 1387 01:25:33,801 --> 01:25:38,238 It's time for a murder. 1388 01:25:38,271 --> 01:25:40,708 Come on. Come on. You don't want to kill us. 1389 01:25:40,742 --> 01:25:42,175 You really don't. 1390 01:25:42,209 --> 01:25:44,277 Oh, yes, I do. 1391 01:25:44,311 --> 01:25:47,381 I really, really, really do. 1392 01:25:47,414 --> 01:25:48,916 And I'm gonna start with you. 1393 01:25:48,950 --> 01:25:50,417 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1394 01:25:50,450 --> 01:25:51,686 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1395 01:25:53,420 --> 01:25:54,956 You got to kill Aunt Linda first. 1396 01:25:54,989 --> 01:25:56,924 What the hell, Bert? 1397 01:25:56,958 --> 01:25:58,860 You want to squeeze in being a little shit 1398 01:25:58,893 --> 01:26:00,460 before you die, Bertrude? 1399 01:26:00,494 --> 01:26:01,963 -I say shoot him first. -What? 1400 01:26:01,996 --> 01:26:04,231 Wait. No, no, no. Don't shoot him. 1401 01:26:04,264 --> 01:26:06,266 Don't shoot him first. And don't you call him 1402 01:26:06,299 --> 01:26:07,869 a little shit, you gold-digging bitch. 1403 01:26:07,902 --> 01:26:09,604 Okay. I changed my mind. 1404 01:26:09,637 --> 01:26:11,572 -Shoot the alcoholic bitch first. -Don't call my mom 1405 01:26:11,606 --> 01:26:13,675 -an alcoholic bitch. -Your mom's an alcoholic. 1406 01:26:13,708 --> 01:26:15,510 -I'm sorry. -You're a gold-digging bitch. 1407 01:26:15,543 --> 01:26:17,679 Oh, I'm a gold-digger, when I have a whole-ass career? 1408 01:26:17,712 --> 01:26:19,379 You're not even part of the fucking family. 1409 01:26:19,413 --> 01:26:22,382 -She's an engineer. -You know goddamn well... 1410 01:26:22,416 --> 01:26:23,551 Shut up! 1411 01:26:27,287 --> 01:26:31,358 Just like rats in a barrel. 1412 01:26:32,026 --> 01:26:34,294 Why don't you die with some dignity? 1413 01:26:39,534 --> 01:26:41,301 Get off of me! 1414 01:26:41,334 --> 01:26:42,870 Okay, okay. 1415 01:26:42,904 --> 01:26:44,304 Fuck you! 1416 01:26:44,337 --> 01:26:46,741 This is for yelling at my child! 1417 01:26:46,774 --> 01:26:48,275 Creep! 1418 01:26:48,308 --> 01:26:49,877 That's for slapping me, motherfucker! 1419 01:26:49,911 --> 01:26:51,813 This is for your dumb fucking hat! 1420 01:27:01,556 --> 01:27:03,024 Is he... 1421 01:27:03,057 --> 01:27:04,726 Is he dead? 1422 01:27:08,629 --> 01:27:10,531 Yeah. 1423 01:27:11,364 --> 01:27:12,800 Thanks, Linda. 1424 01:27:12,834 --> 01:27:15,970 Well, it's nice to do something as a family for a change. 1425 01:27:17,370 --> 01:27:18,873 Oh, shit! 1426 01:27:18,906 --> 01:27:20,808 I'm gonna... 1427 01:27:24,912 --> 01:27:26,480 That was for Morgan. 1428 01:27:26,514 --> 01:27:31,552 He may have been stupid, but he was very, very hot. 1429 01:27:32,854 --> 01:27:35,288 Oh. Trudy! 1430 01:27:35,322 --> 01:27:37,658 Mommy! 1431 01:27:37,692 --> 01:27:39,359 Thank God, baby. 1432 01:27:39,392 --> 01:27:41,294 Are you okay? 1433 01:27:41,328 --> 01:27:42,897 I'm okay, Mommy. 1434 01:27:42,930 --> 01:27:44,031 Okay. 1435 01:27:44,065 --> 01:27:46,667 This is my friend, Santa. 1436 01:27:50,972 --> 01:27:53,007 What the fuck? 1437 01:27:53,040 --> 01:27:54,909 I can't thank you enough, Mister... 1438 01:27:54,942 --> 01:27:57,512 Claus. But please call me Santa. 1439 01:27:57,545 --> 01:27:58,646 Mm-hmm. 1440 01:27:58,679 --> 01:28:00,748 You guys should get out of here. 1441 01:28:00,782 --> 01:28:02,349 It's dangerous. 1442 01:28:02,382 --> 01:28:04,652 They took my husband and her grandmother. 1443 01:28:06,486 --> 01:28:07,989 Anybody know how to work these gizmos? 1444 01:28:08,022 --> 01:28:09,422 I think so. 1445 01:28:09,456 --> 01:28:11,058 I used to hunt with my dad. 1446 01:28:11,092 --> 01:28:12,359 Ow. 1447 01:28:12,392 --> 01:28:13,928 Copy that. How's that looking? 1448 01:28:13,961 --> 01:28:16,764 -Yeah, I got it on lockdown. -Heads on a swivel, boys. 1449 01:28:18,099 --> 01:28:19,734 -Incoming! -Heads up! 1450 01:28:21,102 --> 01:28:22,670 Oh, oh! Who's shooting? 1451 01:28:22,703 --> 01:28:23,905 Who's... 1452 01:28:23,938 --> 01:28:27,440 -Cap, get down! -Watch it! Watch it! 1453 01:28:32,479 --> 01:28:34,816 Gun 'em down. Mow them all down. 1454 01:28:50,665 --> 01:28:53,501 -All right, let's get the fuck out of here. -Let's go. 1455 01:28:53,534 --> 01:28:55,937 -Go where? -Come on, move, you old bat. 1456 01:28:56,804 --> 01:28:58,739 Get your fucking hands off of me. 1457 01:29:08,850 --> 01:29:11,052 Oh! Oh, shit. 1458 01:29:11,085 --> 01:29:14,622 My balls! My fucking balls! 1459 01:29:31,505 --> 01:29:33,975 Ow, my balls! Why did you shoot me in the ball... 1460 01:29:37,879 --> 01:29:40,147 Oh, Jesus. 1461 01:29:40,181 --> 01:29:41,849 Sorry. 1462 01:29:43,784 --> 01:29:46,453 Don't worry about us, Mr. Claus. We got this. 1463 01:29:46,486 --> 01:29:48,823 Who is that guy? 1464 01:29:48,856 --> 01:29:51,424 He said he was Mr. Claus. 1465 01:29:53,027 --> 01:29:55,029 -Fuck. Trudy. -No, no. 1466 01:29:55,062 --> 01:29:56,764 She's in the house. She's okay. 1467 01:29:56,797 --> 01:29:58,032 She's safe. 1468 01:29:58,065 --> 01:30:00,167 -Oh, thank God. -Yeah. 1469 01:30:20,955 --> 01:30:22,523 No, no. 1470 01:30:22,556 --> 01:30:25,059 -Oh... go, go, go, go, go. -No, no, no. Wait, wait. 1471 01:31:10,938 --> 01:31:13,507 Oh, shit! 1472 01:31:15,710 --> 01:31:18,546 Ho, ho! 1473 01:31:20,114 --> 01:31:21,481 Fuck! 1474 01:32:04,925 --> 01:32:07,695 Fucking die. 1475 01:33:00,815 --> 01:33:02,683 Come on. Come on. Come on. 1476 01:33:02,716 --> 01:33:05,920 Yeah, over here. Over here. 1477 01:33:05,953 --> 01:33:07,188 Santa! 1478 01:33:08,155 --> 01:33:09,990 Come on! 1479 01:33:10,024 --> 01:33:11,358 Yeah. 1480 01:33:55,202 --> 01:33:56,637 Fuck. 1481 01:34:20,194 --> 01:34:22,229 You're real? 1482 01:34:23,731 --> 01:34:26,066 You're... him. 1483 01:34:29,069 --> 01:34:30,371 You're you. 1484 01:34:30,404 --> 01:34:32,973 That's what I've been trying to tell you. 1485 01:34:33,007 --> 01:34:36,310 The real goddamn Santa Claus. 1486 01:34:36,343 --> 01:34:38,846 This is not your night, pal. 1487 01:34:38,879 --> 01:34:41,982 Oh, I don't know. I think you're wrong. 1488 01:34:42,016 --> 01:34:45,319 I think my whole shitty life's built up to this moment. 1489 01:34:45,352 --> 01:34:46,787 Because when I kill you, 1490 01:34:46,820 --> 01:34:50,090 this whole goddamn holiday finally ends. 1491 01:34:51,859 --> 01:34:53,827 Whatever it takes... 1492 01:34:55,429 --> 01:34:57,431 ...Christmas dies tonight. 1493 01:35:49,883 --> 01:35:51,385 Whoa! 1494 01:37:16,604 --> 01:37:19,306 The last Christmas. 1495 01:37:29,316 --> 01:37:31,885 Not if you still believe. 1496 01:37:33,487 --> 01:37:35,489 No! 1497 01:38:03,685 --> 01:38:07,287 I have no idea what the fuck is going on here. 1498 01:38:09,591 --> 01:38:11,892 But this ends now. 1499 01:38:16,631 --> 01:38:18,465 Damn right it does. 1500 01:38:27,575 --> 01:38:29,943 Trudy, be careful. 1501 01:38:33,480 --> 01:38:35,416 Santa! 1502 01:38:35,449 --> 01:38:38,051 Oh, no. Santa. 1503 01:38:39,386 --> 01:38:41,054 Oh, no. 1504 01:38:47,695 --> 01:38:50,030 You saved my daughter. 1505 01:38:50,632 --> 01:38:52,299 No. 1506 01:38:53,267 --> 01:38:54,569 She saved me. 1507 01:38:54,602 --> 01:38:57,337 Help him. Please help him. 1508 01:38:57,371 --> 01:38:59,973 Honey, I don't think there's anything we can do. 1509 01:39:00,007 --> 01:39:01,175 It's okay. It's okay. 1510 01:39:01,208 --> 01:39:03,444 It's too late for that. 1511 01:39:03,477 --> 01:39:05,946 Too late. 1512 01:39:06,581 --> 01:39:09,249 I'm cold. 1513 01:39:09,283 --> 01:39:11,485 I haven't felt cold in years. 1514 01:39:11,519 --> 01:39:13,555 We need to keep him warm. 1515 01:39:14,556 --> 01:39:16,691 All of the fires are going out. 1516 01:39:16,724 --> 01:39:19,193 We need to find something to burn. 1517 01:39:20,461 --> 01:39:22,095 I got an idea. 1518 01:39:25,199 --> 01:39:27,000 Whoa. 1519 01:39:28,435 --> 01:39:29,737 No. 1520 01:39:29,771 --> 01:39:32,072 No, no, no, no. No, Jason, no. 1521 01:39:32,105 --> 01:39:33,140 Please, Santa. 1522 01:39:33,173 --> 01:39:36,210 I don't want you to die. 1523 01:39:39,246 --> 01:39:40,782 Jason, let's slow this down. 1524 01:39:40,815 --> 01:39:42,382 What are you doing? 1525 01:39:42,416 --> 01:39:45,620 I've lived longer than any man should ever live. 1526 01:39:45,653 --> 01:39:48,388 He's pretty much dead. What the hell is happening? 1527 01:39:48,422 --> 01:39:50,457 -You don't need to burn money. -Okay. More. Yeah. 1528 01:39:50,491 --> 01:39:54,061 You can't die, Santa. You have to get up. 1529 01:39:54,094 --> 01:39:56,531 I think I used up all my Christmas magic. 1530 01:39:57,498 --> 01:39:59,233 Sorry. 1531 01:40:01,268 --> 01:40:04,806 I'm s... I'm sorry I can't give you what you asked for. 1532 01:40:06,541 --> 01:40:08,710 Take that. Take that. 1533 01:40:08,743 --> 01:40:10,410 But you did. 1534 01:40:13,180 --> 01:40:15,449 Santa, please don't die. 1535 01:40:15,482 --> 01:40:18,085 Wake up. Wake up. 1536 01:40:18,118 --> 01:40:20,588 We need to get him close to the fire. 1537 01:40:20,622 --> 01:40:22,557 Jason. 1538 01:40:23,323 --> 01:40:25,325 Just wake up. 1539 01:40:26,326 --> 01:40:27,629 Please. 1540 01:40:27,662 --> 01:40:29,564 No. 1541 01:40:33,801 --> 01:40:37,237 Oh, I am so, so sorry. 1542 01:40:42,142 --> 01:40:45,078 This man... 1543 01:40:45,813 --> 01:40:49,416 This brave, brave man, whoever he was... 1544 01:40:49,449 --> 01:40:50,685 He's Santa. 1545 01:40:50,718 --> 01:40:52,854 The real Santa. He is. 1546 01:40:52,887 --> 01:40:56,156 And I still believe in him. 1547 01:40:56,858 --> 01:40:59,594 I'll always believe in you, Santa. 1548 01:41:04,264 --> 01:41:06,266 I believe in him, too. 1549 01:41:09,436 --> 01:41:11,873 He saved Trudy. 1550 01:41:11,906 --> 01:41:14,341 He saved our family. 1551 01:41:16,343 --> 01:41:18,580 What's realer than that? 1552 01:41:22,517 --> 01:41:24,384 Then maybe... 1553 01:41:26,754 --> 01:41:29,089 I believe in him, too. 1554 01:41:29,757 --> 01:41:31,391 So do I. 1555 01:41:32,426 --> 01:41:35,663 Oh, shit. 1556 01:41:35,697 --> 01:41:37,765 I guess... 1557 01:41:37,799 --> 01:41:39,801 I guess I do, too. 1558 01:41:39,834 --> 01:41:41,669 Fuck me. 1559 01:41:41,703 --> 01:41:43,571 I believe, too. 1560 01:41:53,881 --> 01:41:55,516 Oh, my God. 1561 01:41:55,550 --> 01:41:56,684 Santa! 1562 01:42:01,656 --> 01:42:03,323 You... 1563 01:42:04,926 --> 01:42:07,160 You were dead. 1564 01:42:07,795 --> 01:42:10,397 Christmas magic. 1565 01:42:10,430 --> 01:42:12,900 I still don't really understand... 1566 01:42:12,934 --> 01:42:15,135 how it works. 1567 01:42:20,642 --> 01:42:22,510 Thank you. 1568 01:42:22,543 --> 01:42:24,545 I don't know how we can ever repay you. 1569 01:42:24,579 --> 01:42:26,681 Well, you brought me back from the dead, 1570 01:42:26,714 --> 01:42:28,415 so we'll call it even. 1571 01:42:29,550 --> 01:42:30,818 Even? 1572 01:42:30,852 --> 01:42:33,453 We just burned half a million dollars. 1573 01:42:34,287 --> 01:42:35,790 -Look, Santa! -Hmm? 1574 01:42:35,823 --> 01:42:37,424 Look who came. 1575 01:42:44,599 --> 01:42:47,869 Now you show up, huh? 1576 01:42:47,902 --> 01:42:49,436 You leave me here to die, 1577 01:42:49,469 --> 01:42:51,606 come back after all the work's done, huh? 1578 01:42:51,639 --> 01:42:54,408 You know what? I should make you guys into a stew 1579 01:42:54,441 --> 01:42:56,611 and feed you to the elves! 1580 01:42:58,613 --> 01:43:03,551 Yes, Blitzen! Yes, I'm talking to you! 1581 01:43:03,584 --> 01:43:05,553 You, too, Prancer. 1582 01:43:10,858 --> 01:43:12,827 You got my sack. 1583 01:43:12,860 --> 01:43:17,330 My spare... You went home and you got my spare sack? 1584 01:43:19,000 --> 01:43:21,769 Oh, God, I can't stay mad at you guys. 1585 01:43:21,803 --> 01:43:23,437 I... 1586 01:43:23,470 --> 01:43:27,775 Aw. I can't. I can't. 1587 01:43:27,809 --> 01:43:30,611 Aw. 1588 01:43:31,612 --> 01:43:33,681 Aw. 1589 01:43:44,659 --> 01:43:46,259 Hello, beautiful. 1590 01:43:46,293 --> 01:43:48,228 Skullcrusher! 1591 01:44:01,008 --> 01:44:02,744 Guess this is goodbye. 1592 01:44:02,777 --> 01:44:04,344 I got to go. 1593 01:44:05,046 --> 01:44:07,347 Do you have to? 1594 01:44:10,551 --> 01:44:12,820 It's Christmas Eve, and there's a lot of... 1595 01:44:12,854 --> 01:44:14,454 boys and girls on the nice list 1596 01:44:14,488 --> 01:44:16,824 that want their presents, you know? 1597 01:44:18,926 --> 01:44:20,661 Thank you. 1598 01:44:21,629 --> 01:44:23,064 For what? 1599 01:44:23,097 --> 01:44:24,799 For believing in me. 1600 01:44:24,832 --> 01:44:28,335 For reminding me that Christmas still matters. 1601 01:44:29,804 --> 01:44:32,507 And that I still... 1602 01:44:32,540 --> 01:44:34,609 matter. 1603 01:44:36,077 --> 01:44:38,445 You gave me my "ho, ho, ho" back. 1604 01:44:48,122 --> 01:44:50,625 All right. Get out of here. 1605 01:44:54,361 --> 01:44:57,330 Merry Christmas! 1606 01:44:59,767 --> 01:45:00,935 Hyah! 1607 01:45:00,968 --> 01:45:04,404 Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! 1608 01:45:04,437 --> 01:45:06,541 Now, Prancer and Vixen! 1609 01:45:06,574 --> 01:45:09,911 On, Comet! On, Cupid! 1610 01:45:09,944 --> 01:45:12,947 On, Donner and Blitzen! 1611 01:45:12,980 --> 01:45:16,784 Come on, you beautiful bastards! 1612 01:45:16,818 --> 01:45:19,921 We've got some work to do! 1613 01:45:19,954 --> 01:45:22,957 Hyah! 1614 01:45:22,990 --> 01:45:25,726 Ho, ho, ho! 1615 01:45:25,760 --> 01:45:28,863 Merry Christmas! 1616 01:45:39,874 --> 01:45:45,847 ♪ Are you hanging up your stocking on your wall? ♪ 1617 01:45:47,782 --> 01:45:53,754 ♪ It's the time that every Santa has a ball ♪ 1618 01:45:55,488 --> 01:45:59,426 ♪ Does he ride a red-nosed reindeer? ♪ 1619 01:45:59,459 --> 01:46:02,864 ♪ Does a ton-up on his sleigh? ♪ 1620 01:46:02,897 --> 01:46:08,836 ♪ Do the fairies keep him sober for a day? ♪ 1621 01:46:09,804 --> 01:46:12,006 ♪ So here it is ♪ 1622 01:46:12,039 --> 01:46:14,008 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 1623 01:46:14,041 --> 01:46:18,579 ♪ Everybody's having fun ♪ 1624 01:46:18,613 --> 01:46:21,983 ♪ Look to the future now ♪ 1625 01:46:22,016 --> 01:46:28,923 ♪ It's only just begun ♪ 1626 01:46:28,956 --> 01:46:34,996 ♪ Are you waiting for the family to arrive? ♪ 1627 01:46:36,964 --> 01:46:39,033 ♪ Are you sure you got ♪ 1628 01:46:39,066 --> 01:46:42,703 ♪ The room to spare inside? ♪ 1629 01:46:44,238 --> 01:46:47,808 ♪ Does your granny always tell ya ♪ 1630 01:46:47,842 --> 01:46:51,679 ♪ That the old songs are the best? ♪ 1631 01:46:51,712 --> 01:46:54,849 ♪ Then she's up and rock-and-rolling ♪ 1632 01:46:54,882 --> 01:46:57,151 ♪ With the rest ♪ 1633 01:46:57,184 --> 01:46:59,486 Hey, yo! What's Gucci, squad fam? 1634 01:46:59,520 --> 01:47:02,523 It's the Bert Locker, living the dream. 1635 01:47:02,556 --> 01:47:04,592 You know what? See this guy? Dead as hell. 1636 01:47:04,625 --> 01:47:06,459 Santa's real, all right? 1637 01:47:06,493 --> 01:47:08,129 Don't end up on the naughty list. 1638 01:47:08,162 --> 01:47:09,530 Do better. 1639 01:47:09,563 --> 01:47:11,799 Bert Lightstone out. 1640 01:47:11,832 --> 01:47:13,834 ♪ So here it is ♪ 1641 01:47:13,868 --> 01:47:15,670 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 1642 01:47:15,703 --> 01:47:20,107 ♪ Everybody's having fun ♪ 1643 01:47:20,141 --> 01:47:23,544 ♪ Look to the future now ♪ 1644 01:47:23,577 --> 01:47:29,850 ♪ It's only just begun ♪ 1645 01:47:29,884 --> 01:47:32,086 ♪ So here it is ♪ 1646 01:47:32,119 --> 01:47:34,088 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 1647 01:47:34,121 --> 01:47:37,091 ♪ Everybody's having fun ♪ 1648 01:47:37,124 --> 01:47:41,963 -♪ It's Christmas! ♪ -♪ Look to the future now ♪ 1649 01:47:41,996 --> 01:47:49,737 ♪ It's only just begun. ♪ 1650 01:47:52,807 --> 01:47:54,575 ♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪ 1651 01:47:54,608 --> 01:47:56,711 ♪ Let's be good ♪ 1652 01:47:56,744 --> 01:48:00,848 -♪ This coming yuletide ♪ -♪ Ding dong verily the sky ♪ 1653 01:48:00,881 --> 01:48:03,117 ♪ Or you'll see ♪ 1654 01:48:03,150 --> 01:48:08,589 ♪ Kris Kringle's cruel side ♪ 1655 01:48:08,622 --> 01:48:11,759 ♪ Santa's getting mad, better not be bad ♪ 1656 01:48:11,792 --> 01:48:14,795 ♪ Gonna go to bed on time this Christmas ♪ 1657 01:48:14,829 --> 01:48:17,832 ♪ We don't want to be on that list ♪ 1658 01:48:17,865 --> 01:48:20,868 -♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪ -♪ Unhappy! ♪ 1659 01:48:20,901 --> 01:48:24,305 ♪ He's told you once, he's told you twice ♪ 1660 01:48:24,338 --> 01:48:27,274 ♪ Too much naughty, not enough nice ♪ 1661 01:48:27,308 --> 01:48:32,780 ♪ Santa Claus has had enough of Christmas ♪ 1662 01:48:33,848 --> 01:48:36,817 ♪ Where's the love and where's the joy? ♪ 1663 01:48:36,851 --> 01:48:39,920 ♪ Always cash and never a toy ♪ 1664 01:48:39,954 --> 01:48:45,292 ♪ Santa Claus has had enough of Christmas ♪ 1665 01:48:45,326 --> 01:48:51,766 ♪ Ah... ♪ 1666 01:48:53,234 --> 01:48:55,136 ♪ Santa's getting mad ♪ 1667 01:48:55,169 --> 01:48:57,204 -♪ Don't you make Santa crazy ♪ -♪ Better not be bad ♪ 1668 01:48:57,238 --> 01:48:59,940 -♪ Gonna go to bed on time this Christmas ♪ -♪ Baby ♪ 1669 01:48:59,974 --> 01:49:02,777 ♪ We don't want to be on that list ♪ 1670 01:49:02,810 --> 01:49:06,180 -♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪ -♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ♪ 1671 01:49:06,213 --> 01:49:09,316 ♪ If you don't want ♪ 1672 01:49:09,350 --> 01:49:12,620 ♪ Coal this Christmas ♪ 1673 01:49:12,653 --> 01:49:15,723 ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪ 1674 01:49:15,756 --> 01:49:18,826 ♪ Make sure you keep Santa jolly ♪ 1675 01:49:18,859 --> 01:49:22,129 ♪ Don't make his reindeer ♪ 1676 01:49:22,163 --> 01:49:26,700 ♪ Cause you some pain, dear ♪ 1677 01:49:26,734 --> 01:49:29,837 ♪ Santa's getting mad, better not be bad ♪ 1678 01:49:29,870 --> 01:49:33,007 ♪ Gonna go to bed on time this Christmas ♪ 1679 01:49:33,040 --> 01:49:35,976 ♪ We don't want to be on that list ♪ 1680 01:49:36,010 --> 01:49:39,313 -♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪ -♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪ 1681 01:49:39,346 --> 01:49:42,149 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1682 01:49:42,183 --> 01:49:44,085 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1683 01:49:44,118 --> 01:49:47,254 ♪ Don't make him crazy ♪ 1684 01:49:47,288 --> 01:49:48,789 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1685 01:49:48,823 --> 01:49:51,892 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1686 01:49:51,926 --> 01:49:54,962 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1687 01:49:54,995 --> 01:49:58,265 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1688 01:49:58,299 --> 01:50:01,235 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1689 01:50:01,268 --> 01:50:03,237 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1690 01:50:03,270 --> 01:50:06,240 ♪ Hark, the herald angels sing ♪ 1691 01:50:06,273 --> 01:50:08,909 ♪ Dashing through the snow ♪ 1692 01:50:08,943 --> 01:50:10,744 ♪ On the first day of Christmas ♪ 1693 01:50:10,778 --> 01:50:12,379 ♪ My true love gave to me ♪ 1694 01:50:12,413 --> 01:50:15,182 ♪ Good King Wenceslas looked out ♪ 1695 01:50:15,216 --> 01:50:17,985 ♪ On the Feast of Stephen ♪ 1696 01:50:18,018 --> 01:50:21,055 ♪ Jingle bells. ♪ 1697 01:50:43,878 --> 01:50:46,714 ♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪ 1698 01:50:46,747 --> 01:50:49,950 ♪ In heaven, the bells are ringing ♪ 1699 01:51:09,370 --> 01:51:17,444 ♪ Glo-o-o-oria ♪ 1700 01:51:17,478 --> 01:51:19,780 ♪ Hosanna ♪ 1701 01:51:19,813 --> 01:51:27,721 ♪ In excelsis. ♪ 116981

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