Original subtitles

[indistinct chatter]

- I can't take a fourth day off of work.

We already been kicking it for 72 hours straight.

I got to go. - Whoa.

- [gasps] - Whoa, whoa.

- My God. - What the fuck?

Where is my shit? - Oh!

- Mama! Mama!

- Oh, ho-ho.

- At least they left the inmates.

- What the fuck is this?

- Q, where's the shit? - Jay-Mal!

- Ooh. - What?

- Where the fuck is everything, man?

Where is my merch? - That ain't mine.

That ain't mine. What--what's going on?

What? Oh my God.

What? - Damn, they finally got y'all.

- Them ain't even Simeon colors.

What the hell? - I got these from Chaz.

- And your ass living here? - I'm not living here.

I got here early. I saw everything's gone, right?

Whoa, whoa. - Fake!

- And I got distraught. I laid down.

- Wow. - And I took my clothes off.

- Mm-hmm. - That always helps me think.

- No, you did-- - Yeah.

- I know you did not use the bed to iron your clothes, bro.

What the fuck? - OK, now, look.

I ain't want to say nothing, because I don't want

to be putting people on blast, but I think Trell

had something to do with this. - What?

Why you saying Trell name? - I agree.

Trell, you're fired. - Fired?

- Mm-mm. I let this nigga see my feet.

Get out. - Guys!

Obviously, nobody trusts Trell. - Mm-hmm.

- But I bet Q did this shit for the insurance money.

- The store is not insured, Copernicus.

- I stand corrected. - Hey, guys.

Come here! Look at this!

- Why is he yelling?

- Ooh. - What you--

- Hurry up. - Oh, wow.

- Whoa. Whoa.

- Do you see this?

- What kind of "Batman" fucking Joker shit is this?

- I ain't never seen this wall before.

- It looks like tic-tac-toe and mountain tops.

- Oh, shit, y'all.

I think this is the work of the Laughter.

- Oh, because "ha, ha, ha." - [laughs]

- Wait. Are you talking about the dude

that robs rental-own stores?

I thought that was just an urban legend.

- Is this for real? - Nah, I heard of him too.

They say he gives the repo furniture back

to the customers. - Oh, that's nice.

- Guys, guys. There's no way he's real.

Smart money's on old Tricky Trell.

- What? - Yes.

- I just want to ask a question real quick

before I get up out of here. - Trell!

- Trell, what are you doing here?

- ♪ I was born on the South Side ♪

♪ I was raised on the South Side ♪

♪ Everybody stick together like we in the line ♪

♪ Because it ain't no side like the south side ♪

♪ On the South Side, South Side ♪

- And, lastly, some goofball's been

stealing from the city's furniture

and appliance rental stores.

We got Rent Town, Our Stuff Your Place,

Rent Till You're Spent, IKEEPA

all got hit in the last week.

- You know, sir, I'm seeing a pattern here

because they also got Why Buy, My Guy, 50 Easy Payments,

and Keep It From Now But Then Bring It Back.

And also, apparently, at IKEEPA,

they ate all the Danish meatballs.

- Oh, Lord. He playing detective again.

Here comes "Er-cule Pie-row."

[laughter]

- I don't know who that is.

You didn't pronounce it correctly.

But if you meant Hercule Poirot--

which is the correct pronunciation--

of course it's just like that.

Because this is just like

"Murder on the Orient Express." It is fast-moving.

It is a mystery. It is on rails,

and we are heading into uncharted waters.

- OK, so we on a train going into the water?

That don't make no sense. - Yeah.

We don't know who can swim.

Also, whoever drew this, not OK, all right?

Don't want to open my locker expecting

to see my personal items and seeing this thing.

I don't even know, really, what it is.

This is badly drawn.

If this is what you look like, you need to go to the doctor.

And, by the way, whoever did it, camera's on.

Now it's evidence.

So congratulations, you blew it.

- [taps glass]

- There once was an Alderman Gayle

who served his constituents well.

He is slutty and sneaky, wears dirty dashikis...

[laughter]

And I bet he ends up in jail. - Hell, no.

She made him look ridiculous. Oh, there he is.

- [laughs]

- Oh, and it all came off the top of the dome, y'all.

All right, three cheers for Allen Gayle.

Hip, hip... - Hooray.

- Hip, hip... - Hooray.

- Hip, hip...

- Hooray. - Thank you.

Thank you, Kitty. Thank you, Kitty.

I'll have you guys know, this is a very, very clean dashiki.

I got this at the part of Hyde Park

that we all lovingly refer to as Little Africa.

- Man, don't nobody call it that.

- Uh, yes, they call it Little Africa.

- So you just gonna be Little African?

Cool. - Evanston, speaking up.

[laughter]

Evanston's speaking out of turn.

Listen, I want you guys to enjoy this evening, all right?

This is a great cause that--the cause is me.

What can I say? The cause is me.

I'm the cause.

I'm not "The Coz" though I do appreciate

his donation, as well. - Allan.

- Enjoy the night. Enjoy the night.

We have a cheese tray. - All right.

[cheering and applause] Thank you so much.

Oh, thank you so much. I appreciate that $25 check.

- Allen.

- OK, I know limericks are supposed to be fun and saucy,

but what the hell was that? - Yeah, Kitty's fucked up.

- Look, she was laughing not with me.

- She is not somebody who you should be

trifling with because she has terrible, terrible things

going on inside her head.

There's a major crime spree operating

right under your nose. Now, I can solve this.

We can solve this. - Hey!

What the hell is going on with all this goddamn noise?

All this talking and carrying on.

Y'all done play "Wipe Me Down" three times!

Even Boosie doesn't want to hear it that much!

I live downstairs, and I can't get no peace.

Whose party is this?

- Uh, it would be my fancy-ass party.

Hi. Um, yeah.

I'm Alderman Allen Gayle.

This is my annual fundraiser. Hi. Hi.

- The world don't need alderman no more.

- Ooh, hot take. Hot take.

- I got a free coffee table from The Laughter.

He runs this city now.

The Laughter fulfilled all my needs.

- Oh, nice.

Sounds like a wonderful individual.

- You can get the fuck up out of my face.

- I believe that "You Can Get the Fuck Up Out Of My Face"

is the new song from Dirk. DJ, play that.

And definitely play "Wipe Me Down," too.

- I told you this shit is getting serious.

You see how she's acting?

I need you to make some noise.

By the way, we have played "Wipe Me Down" a lot.

All right. Play "The Wobble."

- There once was a disgruntled woman.

- Don't be limerick-ing me, bitch.

- Snitch Jenkins. - Oh, please.

Call me Susan Snitch Jenkins.

But don't do nothing around me.

Because, if I see it, I'm going to tell it.

- Yeah, I know you be telling.

- Anyway, I have all kinds of crimes to report this week.

I'm talking white collar, blue collar, green collar--

those are environmental crimes--

- OK, be still. Listen, listen.

Now, have you heard anything about somebody

stealing furniture back for RTO customers?

- Oh, The Laughter. Here's his card.

That's all you need to get blenders, toasters, furniture,

you name it.

You just call that number and go, "ha, ha, ha."

Real monotone. Just like that.

Let me see you do it. - Ha, ha, ha.

- No, you got to do it for real.

- Ha, ha, ha. - That's it.

So you want to hear about a binder

full of holographic Pokémon

that got stolen from an auction?

I heard they got a Mewtwo,

arguably, the thickest Pokémon. - OK.

Well, see, that's where you're wrong because, clearly,

Jigglypuff is the biggest Pokémon.

Jiggly is in the name.

- Whomever you are, my name is Alderman Gayle,

and you're on notice. We're coming for you, OK?

Don't take our stuff. It doesn't belong to you.

It doesn't even belong to the people

you've been taking it from.

And one other important thing,

this is a clean dashiki.

The scurrilous rumors are false.

I have clean, socks and drawers every single day.

- Ooh, yes, girl.

You is about to bring the French row back.

- And I'll do it on live TV.

- What he be looking like at y'all alderman meetings?

- Usually clean, but this little video may backfire.

- You remember what happened last time

the city had a vigilante? The Slap Boxer?

- Girl, yes. My mama got slapped.

- They slapped my dog. - Oh, no.

- The Slap Boxer is real.

You can identify him by this distinctive shirt

that he's wearing that says, "You Got Heart?"

Now, when he slaps you, you will be stunned.

Most of the slaps are coming from behind.

Fight through the sting. Stand your ground.

Then you must swing on him. He will dodge it.

But once he sees that your reflexes are on point,

you are free to go about your work day.

When I spoke up, the slaps increased tenfold.

- Oh, hell yeah. It sure did.

- I made it worse. - Yeah, you did.

Because my Granny got slapped, as well.

- Oh my God, child, that lady makes some good greens.

- She sure did. [doorbell rings]

- Hold on. Let me get that.

- No, I'm coming too.

Because if that's who I think it is,

I'm slapping first. - Hello?

What's this?

- ♪ Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am ♪

♪ This your dancing telegram ♪

And... - Oh.

Oh, shit. - Oh.

- Uh-oh. Oh, the Roger Rabbit.

The Bob Fosse.

[gasps] The Katherine Dunham Technique

Ooh. - Now he cutting up.

- Wow.

- [scatting] Hey.

[gasping together]] The one-man conga line!

- Oh, my girl, you know I love this.

- You is cutting up. - [exhales]

- Wow, beautiful. - You dance from your heart.

- Encore. Thank you.

OK, get ready for a surprise. I am shocked.

You did that. All right--oh!

- ♪ It's been real, it's been nice ♪

♪ Hope you enjoyed this dancing night ♪

- Good night.

[laughs] Entertaining, like--

[screams] My stove!

What the fuck? - How did the--oh.

- Oh, what? My stove!

Oh, no!

- "This burned my hands."

- Oh, what?

Ha-fucking-ha-fucking-ha.

You-- [grunts]

And you ain't even do nothing.

Hey!

- It's always an inside job.

[gasps] Quincy.

Huh.

It could also be the person you least suspect.

Christina Milian, no. No, it's probably Quincy.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Now, picture this bed.

Not in picture form, but in bed form.

♪ ♪

- Oh.

- I said picture it!

- Attention.

Last night, I was visited by The Laughter,

and he stole my stove.

- He got moves, though. Damn, look at this.

- Do you know how hard it is

to be a kitchen beautician without a stove?

I had to air-fry my client's edges.

- [gasps] Don't say that.

- Yeah, it's fucked up.

Look, this is his accomplice,

and I want his ass beat immediately.

- We're all in danger here. - Who would have ever thought?

Chicago, unsafe. - It had a broiler.

Here you go, sir. Thank you.

Be on the lookout, brother.

It had an analog clock and a digital clock.

There you go, sister. Watch out for me, thank you.

And here-- - Now take this shit down.

I'm tired of everyone spreading baseless rumors

and not working.

This is just some dumb dancer, lost to obscurity--

as we all will be one day.

[phone ringing]

- Man, Q, that's kind of a bummer.

- Jay-Mal, I'm done with you. Go home.

- [sighs] Say less.

- Why is he still here? - What's up, man?

No, I'm off work right now.

- Yeah, at the crib. Just come through.

My dad's here, but, you know, he's chill, so...

- I'm not your dad, nor am I chill.

- Yeah, that's him.

- You've been acting really strange lately, bro.

Why are you staring into the past?

- No one cared who I was

until I put on the balaclava.

♪ ♪

I am The Laughter.

- Oh, shit. The signature look.

How are you robbing all these stores

and still got time to make it to all your court days?

- [chuckles] Oh, no, no, no.

You're mistaken. I lost that case.

Yeah, that was-- It was horrible.

No, I had my ass handed to me.

And I'm not The Laughter anymore.

I used to be.

It started in my second year here,

when I had to extract a live squirrel from the store.

And, in that process, I, uh, forgot to scan in the lamp.

Nobody picked up on the lamp oversight,

so I said, fuck it, and sold it back to the people

who rented it at a steep discount.

I made a little chip.

I even got my boy Curtis involved, you dig?

- Boom, bam, blip. You became an urban legend.

- Yeah, I just wanted to be a legend,

but you know how they do us.

- Why didn't you tell me about all this?

You're my right-hand man. - You were studying abroad.

- Oh, right.

Santiago, Chile. Buenos noches.

- I had to quit. It gave me a big head.

But I got to find out who's doing this

because I don't want this to come back to me.

You know what I mean? - Yeah.

- So that's what's-- Trell, go home.

- What the fuck? You can see me?

Wow.

After five weeks of friendship, that's how y'all do me?

Them Italian beefs I was buying for lunch, off the table.

- You owe me one, Tina. - Trina.

And remember, when he gets here, I'm the mom.

- I thought I was the mom.

You know, cool, fun, sexy. You could do drugs around me.

- OK, I just feel like I have a more mature energy.

- You just saying that because I'm unemployed

and because I lost my Link Card the other day.

But I think somebody stole it. It'll come back.

- Girl, this is your third Link Card replacement.

I'm the mom.

- [sighs]

You just always need to win, don't you?

- OK, you really want to have

this fucking conversation right now?

- Sure do. - Well, get into it.

Come on, let's go.

- You got me soul food when you know I wanted seafood.

You know I love that--

- Bitch, I'm sick of seafood, OK?

- No-- - I'm sick--

[knocks] Hi, it's open.

♪ ♪

- I'm the mom.

- So you, uh-- you're poor and you need stuff?

- We do.

It's been so hard since Earl died.

- Oh, Earl, my husband.

- Well, we're just going to keep on keeping on.

And I promise you, we are very desperate.

And so, here's exactly what we need--

- You need a full living room set,

full dining room set. Maybe some lamps.

Expect delivery at midnight.

Ha, ha, ha.

- OK. - He's cute.

- So this one is more expensive than the other units,

but it's fully furnished. - Ooh.

Grayson, I love this space. - You be loving everything.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Everybody ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Get your groove on ♪

♪ It's time to boogie ♪

- Sane Legs going crazy.

- ♪ Let's do it all night long ♪

♪ The place is jumping ♪

[applause]

♪ ♪

- Whew. Thank you, thank you.

All right, thank you, brother. All right.

All right, sister. Good to see you.

Next Sunday? See you at the church.

All right. You again.

All right. Yeah, OK.

- [clapping slowly]

- Tips go in the briefcase, man.

- [chuckles] Yeah, no tips.

I know you were hired as a distraction.

Who do those legs work for?

The Laughter, right?

You think you got funny legs? - Leave me alone, man.

These legs will never talk. Trust me, I've tried.

[dramatic music]

- Hey.

Hey! Hey!

both: Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Chill, chill, chill.

Just tell us who The Laughter is

and all will be forgiven.

- Well, I don't know about that, but don't jump.

- Do you think you can stop The Laughter if you catch me?

[chuckles] How naive you are.

You have no idea how big The Laughter is.

- Stop. Wait, wait, wait.

BOTH: No!

- Where is he? Damn it, Sandy.

He was my key to finding The Laughter.

- Or maybe you were working together.

You wanted a bigger piece of the cut, huh?

More of that sweet cherry pie.

It got too much for you,

so you throw his ass off the ledge.

- You saw him jump in.

- I don't know what I saw.

Oh, this case is tearing me apart.

- We're hurdling towards chaos, my friend.

Regular customers are claiming that The Laughter

took their stuff. RTO could go out of business.

I could lose my iron grip on power.

- You smoke?

- When I'm nervous, yeah. - OK.

No, I'm not judging. I just didn't know.

Didn't know. Didn't take you for a smoker.

- You the customer in need?

- I'm going to be real with you, I'm not.

Turner, a police officer and trusted friend,

asked me to pretend to be a poor person in need.

- Turner?

- That's this person, right here.

- Wait. Trina is a cop?

- Now, I can't lie. That's on me.

And so, you're probably asking yourself, well,

why did she get this girl? Good question.

She had already used all of her friends,

family and play-cousins to furnish her other apartments.

Now, she's behind one of these doors.

I'll give you... - Goddamn.

- A guess. Is it one, two, or three?

It's two.

And I am wearing a wire, but that's

for something different

that's happening later on tonight.

No, this is for something else.

Hold on. - All right, enough.

Whoever the fuck Turner is, she fucked up.

The Laughter will destroy her. - You ain't destroying shit.

Get up against the wall.

And, by the way, this whole time,

this was a sting operation, and I am a hero.

- Little Dirk says it's cool.

- 109.9, WCHI, it's your boy,

the destined legend Leon Rogers.

And I'm so happy because they have caught The Laughter.

Breaking news, they've caught The Laughter.

That's right.

Those of y'all that didn't get the free furniture,

hold tight, and for those of y'all that did

get the free furniture, consider yourself blessed.

But let's get off that right now.

Alderman Allen Gayle. What's up, brother?

How you feeling.

- I'm--I'm incapable of bragging, Leon Rogers.

But-- - Talk your talk, young man.

Talk your talk. [air horns blaring]

- I feel like my community came into the barbershop,

and it was looking for a haircut,

and I edged it up. I edge it up tight.

Like, the fade was like, ah. [air horns blaring]

You know?

I single-handedly ended the reign of terror,

here in Chicago, except in Terrortown.

Terrortown-- look, that place is terrifying.

- We're going to get more into how you caught The Laughter.

But let's go to the phone lines.

Caller, who this? Where you calling from?

- [cackling]

- Oh, that's weird. That's the stuff, huh?

- Freaks come out at night, baby.

- Yeah, I guess so.

- (DISTORTED, OVER RADIO) You think

you've locked up The Laughter? Huh, Gayle?

Well, you didn't. - All right.

Is this--is this a prank call? Who is this?

- The question isn't who. It's did.

- Did did is this?

- We did this. All of us.

I'm The Laughter leader, but we're not just one person.

Check out the news on the North Side.

- Whoa, snap.

Breaking news, The Laughter is still doing his thing, man.

He just hit a store on the North Side.

They hit a Everything Borrowed, Everything Due store.

- Yeah. - [sighs]

- That's right.

We are Legion, and we're everywhere.

We're in your city.

♪ ♪

In your government.

♪ ♪

- ♪ In the dark ♪

- In your homes.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Shine a light on me ♪

[air horn blaring]

- We take from the takers and give to the givers.

- OK, give to the givers?

Give to the-- give to the givers?

[laughs] OK, I think this person

has a problem with the logic. [chuckles]

- It works, Allan. Christ.

- [chuckles] suit getting

a little tight on you, ain't it?

- I had a date at the Wiener's Circle,

and I'm dealing with some bloating.

- No, I think you have a problem with The Laughter

because he's still out here... - Leon...

- Still at large, brother [air horn blaring]

- Leon, this is not supposed to be

an adversarial relationship, my man.

You're supposed to interview me.

I'm supposed to promote my-- you know, like--

Oh, the album doing good, bro.

- Yeah. - The album doing real good.

It's penetrating. - Yeah, but it's--

- Penetrating right now. - Not right now, though, man

Because that brother's on the line.

He's talking crazy to you, right here on 109.9, WCHI.

[air horn blaring] - Whatever.

We will hunt you down, no matter how many of you

there are, all right? You can't scare us, bro.

We're too real. You can't scare us.

- Oh, yeah? 302 South Bishop.

- OK? That--that's an address.

- Third floor. You have an orange cat.

Purrs when you rub his belly. - Hang up. Hang up. Hang up.

[air horn blaring] - Hey, fam.

That ain't what that button does, man.

♪ ♪

- [laughs] Faster.

Break a sweat, young nigga.

- Welcome to the lair of The Laughter.

[laughs]

- Very impressive.

- But, Curtis, y'all didn't bother getting a new hideout?

- Why? It's perfect.

Oh, and, Larry, great job on that futon heist.

- Dude, that really did give you a big head.

- Oh, shit.

The giant head man is real?

The prophecy has been fulfilled.

Formation.

♪ ♪

Our great founder has finally returned.

Huzzah. all: Huzzah!

- [groans] Yes, it's me.

I'm here for that big, sexy piece of evidence

that should have been thrown away

and destroyed a long time ago, Curtis!

- I am-- I'm not just him, though.

I am everyone who feels taken advantage of, and--

- Hey, nigga, hey. Let it go.

Somebody do some--hey, hey, hey, wait, wait, wait.

- Ain't no waiting. - Simon.

You don't want to hurt me, do you?

I'm your spirit, Simon.

- Oh, hell no. - Oh, hell yeah.

- Yo, put it back. - Wait, wait, wait.

- Stop right there, Romany Malco.

- Funky-ass Herbert from the currency exchange?

- That's right.

Herbert from the currency exchange.

Yeah, but I wanted to be you, Simon James,

so I quit my job.

I started working at West Side RTO.

- West Side!

- But the way you guys treated your customers was fucked up.

That's when Curtis told me about The Laughter.

[cackling]

How that could be our revenge.

I didn't believe him, at first.

But then, one night, Curtis couldn't sleep.

- Let me just leave this right here.

- What are you doing?

- I'm putting this fucking head--

- What are you doing? That's disrespectful.

I'm telling a story. - I'm putting the head down.

Fucking--it's heavy.

- That's why I don't fuck with you.

- Man, you are long-winded as hell.

- I'm--I'm telling it-- shut up.

- It's hella long, so-- - Shut up.

- Let him finish! - Like I said,

one night, Curtis couldn't fucking fall asleep.

- I got insomnia.

- He found himself in that maze of boxes

we let pile up in the back. - Interesting.

- When we couldn't find shit, we just let the customers

go back and search themselves. We knew it was hopeless.

Some people got lost back there.

Chester Copperpot.

And that's when he found it, a remnant of the urban legend.

- Come on, man. Just say legend.

- And then, I knew what I must do.

♪ ♪

I must become The Laughter.

[laughs] Everyone, laugh.

[laughter]

- You guys are corny.

Well, you're worse than Snitch Jenkins.

I just thought about that. - Oh, you know Susan, too?

She's really nice.

- You going to eat or drink something?

So you're still not going to talk to me, huh?

OK. Come on, bring it in.

You see, she's got a warrant. Made a pit stop by your place.

And thank you.

OK, let's get this opened up.

Now, these are all your save files, right?

- I don't-- I don't play video games.

- You don't? OK.

Well, somebody put 150 hours into "Red Dead Redemption."

Oh, and they crafted the Legends of the East Satchel?

I can probably just delete this save file.

- So--wait. Stop, stop, stop, stop, OK.

I don't think you understand. - No, I don't.

- You have to collect perfect skins,

which means you cannot use your gun.

You have to use a bow and arrow.

I have to creep up on the animal with a knife.

And then, after you collect the perfect skins,

you have to craft every other satchel first.

I just think that whoever crafted all of those satchels

spent too much time for you to just...

[chuckles] Delete it.

- Like that would be bogus to go on ahead and delete...

- [groans] - Those.

- [groans]

- And maybe I should give the island of Tsushima

back to the Mongolians. - No.

OK, listen. I'll tell you.

I'll tell you everything. I will tell you everything.

- Hey, you can't use my head. Y'all got to make your own.

- We're not going to make another head.

That would be crazy. [laughter]

- You won't be using this one.

I'm going to take it with me because it's my face.

And when the police come and get all y'all ass,

I won't be here. - Whoa, whoa.

- Hold on, fellas.

Let's not do anything rash and destroy

anyone's papier-mâché head.

- Three million people in Chicago.

Laughter could be any one of them.

- I didn't want to say this before,

but I think it's Joan Cusack.

- What? - Yeah.

- From "School of Rock"? - Yes.

She used to work at South Side RTO.

- No, you lying.

- That's where she dated brothers.

- She date-- - Yes, we did.

- You dated Joan Cusack? JC?

- She liked to play around with cute sack

if you know what I mean. - Oh, that's terrible.

♪ ♪

- What if it's us--

me and you, stealing and robbing

every night-- and, in the morning, we forget.

I mean, think about it. We go out, we do our thing.

We just hit houses and RTO stores,

and then, we come here. We have a slice of pie.

We laugh, reminisce.

And then, in the morning, it's like, what happened?

- That's sounds crazy as-- - It's not as crazy--

- What the fuck?

- Shhh. I'm being followed.

- What? - I'm being followed...

- Ain't nobody over there. - By a stranger.

I don't even know who's following me.

- Down, Lucky. You're going crazy.

- Oh, no, no, no.

This is not--this is not like that other time.

- Don't you see, Simon? The future is ours.

One day, our furniture give-backs will be worldwide.

Death to predatory lending. Huzzah!

all: Huzzah. - Huh-fucking-zah.

K, let's get out of here. How embarrassing.

- [snaps] How about a game?

- Man, we don't got time for your games.

- A feat of strength. - God damn it.

- Come on, Simon. Come on, man.

- Pull this shit, nigga. - He ain't strong, dog.

I ain't worried about it. This is my head.

- Let this shit go. [all cheering]

- Ah!

Yeah, I didn't want it anyway. Huzzah!

all: Huzzah. - Hey.

- I'm going to need y'all to part like butt cheeks.

Come on, get out the way. - Coward.

Nonbelievers. Dill weed.

- Oh!

- Dude, that's how they say "your momma" in the suburbs.

- Dill weed? - Light his ass up.

- You know, I wasn't going to say anything.

I was just going to leave with my dignity and this head,

but since you want to go there,

I'm ashamed of all you dill weeds, OK?

I started this thing to make money,

not a fucking charity, you broke bitches.

Y'all got money?

- Don't listen to him. We don't need money.

- I'm sorry, bro. I kind of need some money.

- Hm. Interesting.

Um, how many of y'all live with your momma?

- Come on. Keep it 100.

- Put your hands up. Let's see it.

Oh. - Keep it 100, man.

Put it up. - Look at these hands go up.

- A lot of hands. - A lot like daffodils.

- I mean, my momma kind of live with me.

Like, my name on the lease, but she pay rent.

OK, we both do our part. - Shut up, nigga.

- Yeah, get your ass out. - How interesting.

I bet you Herbert lives there, too.

Don't he? - No, I don't.

- He lives with his momma, y'all.

He used to be a customer at RTO,

and him love him momma a lot.

- I--I don't love her or live with her, OK?

- Yes, you don't.

Absolutely not. You know why?

Because Herbert lives with his momma's new boyfriend

in the bathroom in the basement.

- No, I don't.

- With a wall full of lotion. That don't even make sense.

[laughter]

- Why are y'all-- stop laughing.

- He got the pump, pump. - You got the wrong one, chief.

- You're lame, mama's boy.

[laughs]

- [screams]

- Shit. What are we going to do now?

- I'll tell you what you're going to do now.

We're gonna make some money. Call everybody you know.

♪ ♪

- Nobody following you. Can we get--

- I swear, they were right there.

- I think you're paranoid, Allan.

- Feel the hairs on the back of my neck, man.

I don't even know what that was about.

- Yeah. - It's freezing in here.

- There's something messed up in Chicago tonight.

- Could you guys turn down the AC a little?

My man is really-- - One cup of coffee, please.

I'm telling you, it's messed up back there.

- Make a new cup of coffee. - The streets have eyes.

They have eyes.

I don't know who's looking at me.

- What happened?

- I always wanted to be a public figure.

I never wanted to inspire this. - Oh, sorry!

- [baby crying] - My bad.

I didn't get them both.

Oh, I got them both.

- Oh! - Oh!

♪ ♪

- This is the Laughter leader.

What do you get when you cross a cop,

an RTO manager and a politician?

- This is Officer Alessandro Octavium Goodnight,

and I'm in control.

- Actually-- actually, I'm in charge.

I'm--he's the second in charge.

- God, you're insufferable.

And you failed, Q.

Soon, RTO will be RT-no-more. [laughs]

- But you need me to deliver the furniture

so you can grab it back.

It's a cycle. - That's accurate.

Guess it's time to meet face-to-facepaint.

- This is a fire sale.

Everything must go, or else we'll set it on fire.

[laughs] - Curtis.

Curtis, come out of there.

Stop playing around. - Sorry.

- Yeah, we'll just need to try this out

for at least 20 minutes to really know.

- Yeah. - You know what I mean?

- Just a quick 20.

And then--again, not to be a bitch, but no price-matching.

None whatsoever. - Everybody, freeze.

- Oh, we gotta go.

- That's right. Oh, no, no, no.

- Where's my cat?

- What the fuck are y'all doing here?

- The fuck are you doing here?

- Hey, come out of there, sir! Come out of there!

- I came to get my shit.

- Let's get our shit, then. - Ah, that's right.

Come on over, boys.

- Anybody back there better come out now

- Everybody's ass in here, and don't stop

until they produce a 2013 Frigidaire

with a convection oven and a double boiler.

And go. - Hey, give me the other shit.

- Here, Willie, Willie, Willie.

- Hold on. Baby, Simon is The Laughter?

- No, don't even think that! - Hell yeah.

- It even got his pretty eyes up there.

- I cannot be The Laughter. - Why not tell me this, baby?

- My own brother?

- It's always an inside job

and the person you least expect.

One, two. Gentlemen?

- No. No, no, no, no, no.

We followed Trell here. - What?

Trell? - No.

No, how you follow me here?

Simon, you gave me a shirt and told me

I could get my job back if I helped you.

- You can't trust Simon. - He is not telling...

- You cannot trust Simon. - The truth, he is lying.

- You've fallen into my trap, you goof-ass niggas.

Doors, slam shut. [doors slam]

- Damn, he thought of everything.

- And now, I will release a colorless, odorless toxin.

It will attack your nervous systems

in two minutes.

- Nope. [people shouting]

- Somebody call the police!

- Everybody out! - I got 2 minutes to live?

- Follow me if you want to live!

- Two minutes?

- That's not odorless or colorless.

That sick fuck.

- God damn it.

I always thought I'd get hit by a train.

- At least we going out together.

- Oh, that's the worst part.

- Asshole.

- That's what you smell like right now.

- [coughs]

[all clamoring for help]

- Make way.

[wall crashing]

- Damn it.

You've gotten out of my first trap, but--

[siren chirps] Hello, officer.

- Mama's got you, baby.

[coughs] We got so many heads to do.

You hang in there.

- I just caught The Laughter leader.

Threw him in the back of my car.

- Copy that. What's your 20?

- I like this. - What?

- Um, nothing, I was just talking about my hair.

You know, good hair day.

But I got him. - Wait, girl.

- He was on I-90, heading out of town

with a big, empty truck.

All right, well, I'ma talk to you later.

Yes.

OK, girl.

You did that.

- ♪ I don't have no time for no enemies ♪

♪ Cut 'em off, fuck 'em all, zero bad energy ♪

♪ Artist of the century, fuck with me heavily ♪

♪ Headed for the clean sweep, pure pedigree ♪

♪ Too many bitches don't like me ♪

♪ Too many bitches shook me off like Nike ♪

♪ I could bag it, girl, in my white T ♪

♪ Make her my sidepiece, I'm too smooth ♪

- ♪ White ivory ♪

[hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Sit your ass down, you a class clown ♪

♪ I'm the teacher, smoke that reefer ♪

♪ Like Khalifa, uh ♪

♪ You don't like me, well, that's on you ♪

♪ And I always can proceed to put the facts on you ♪

♪ I just want to pull up in a Bentley ♪

♪ ♪

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