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1
00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:04,205
Girls, I need your attention.
2
00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:06,626
You also need a booster seat
for most places.
3
00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:10,718
No, I came out to tell you
some big news.
4
00:00:10,803 --> 00:00:13,393
You also came out when you wore
that sweater to work today.
5
00:00:15,141 --> 00:00:17,481
John Mayer wore this sweater
in Details.
6
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:21,272
Tonight, we are trying
family-style service.
7
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,765
I thought family-style service
8
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,606
was what I had to do
with my uncle.
9
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:29,163
Well, my family-style is more potluck.
10
00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:32,987
Heavy on the pot,
not so heavy on the luck.
11
00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,583
Why would a family come here?
12
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:38,831
If I see a child in here,
I'm calling the police.
13
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,625
It's like seeing a dog locked
in a hot car.
14
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:46,210
Chicken cacciatore, family-style.
15
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:48,546
Liver and onions, family-style.
16
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:51,381
Spaghetti and meatballs,
my family-style,
17
00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:54,426
which means
the balls are kind of small
18
00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:57,102
but the noodles are extra-long.
19
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,688
You bring out the food in large bowls
20
00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:03,731
and the customers
serve themselves,
21
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:06,074
as they've been doing
since I hired you two.
22
00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:08,318
Good idea, Han.
23
00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:12,821
The diner food does belong
in a big bowl, the toilet bowl.
24
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,280
I don't know
what your uncle saw in you.
25
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:20,327
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
26
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:22,706
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)
27
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:34,141
Max, I just found something
very upsetting on my phone.
28
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,099
Another free U2 album?
29
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:38,772
Worse.
30
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:41,728
And worse than an e-vite
to a friend's improv show.
31
00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:45,859
It's an e-mail
from the managing director
32
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,689
of all The High restaurants
saying he's seen our sales
33
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,896
and is disappointed
with my performance.
34
00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:55,065
Duh-lete. Like I do
35
00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:57,076
with all the "Disappointed
in your performance" texts
36
00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:59,038
I get from guys after sex.
37
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,700
Sorry, gents.
38
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,789
My boobs make a promise
my bad back can't deliver.
39
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,463
Those bad sales numbers
are not our fault.
40
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,505
Our unit's out at the airport.
41
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,418
Well, I'm not taking ownership of this
42
00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:14,178
because my unit is not at the airport.
43
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,429
It's in my bed table drawer.
44
00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:19,805
I'm the manager.
It's on me.
45
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:23,099
As is this tartar stain.
It just refuses to come out.
46
00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:25,942
You'd think its parents were Baptist.
47
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,731
Well, Manager, I need to get out
of there early tomorrow
48
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:31,938
to do Sophie's wedding cake.
49
00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,406
And also because you're annoying
as a boss.
50
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,699
Hey, everybody.
51
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,751
(SINGS)
Me, me, me, me
52
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,667
Me, me, me, me
53
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:48,248
I love being a bride.
54
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:51,205
You don't even have to pretend
it's about anyone else.
55
00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:54,376
Kind of like me, when I was rich.
56
00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,126
Pretty much every single day still.
57
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,887
Good news, bad news.
58
00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:02,641
The good news is the rash
is not spreading past my nuts.
59
00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:07,983
And that's the good news.
60
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,280
Bad news,
the wedding donkey we booked
61
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,278
for the church service, died.
62
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,446
I'll ask the obvious question.
63
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,782
Did it have anything to do
with the rash?
64
00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:22,745
I mean, what are we gonna do?
65
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,328
It's not a traditional
Polish wedding
66
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,753
without an ass
walking down the aisle.
67
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,752
I think Oleg's got that covered.
68
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,966
Girls, we need an ass,
you have a horse,
69
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:38,839
same family, but not related,
like the Jolie-Pitt kids.
70
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,805
No way.
Chestnut is my baby.
71
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,390
Well, the donkey was getting
a thousand bucks.
72
00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:47,937
Baby's gotta work.
73
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:54,193
Wow, business is slower than the
third season of House of Cards.
74
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:57,700
You know
what's doing great business?
75
00:03:57,780 --> 00:03:59,530
It's my new Grindr profile.
76
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:04,579
Changed my screen name
to "Suction Junction."
77
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,753
That damn Cinnabon next door
is taking all our business.
78
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,672
What kind of low lives
would prefer those
79
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,422
to these fine desserts?
80
00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,713
I found a secret pathway
to the Cinnabon kitchen.
81
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,381
Move, bitch.
82
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:24,007
Really? You too?
I just don't get it.
83
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:27,058
It's an acquired taste,
like crystal meth.
84
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,396
-(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
-Oh.
85
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,482
Great.
My waiter's gonna be late again.
86
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,484
"Held up at the TSA line."
87
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,187
That's what I get
for hiring an airport waiter
88
00:04:37,276 --> 00:04:39,486
named
Mohammed Machdinajihad.
89
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:44,405
Oh, look, Ronnie,
a new place.
90
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,372
I see it, Bonnie,
I'm right next to you.
91
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:49,365
Didn't this used to be the bar
we got wasted in
92
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,536
before our flights?
93
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,544
I can't remember.
I was wasted.
94
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,592
Welcome to The High.
95
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:58,220
The finest
in high quality desserts.
96
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,628
We also have yogurts,
cappuccinos,
97
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,966
lattes, coffee, herb teas
or smart waters.
98
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,222
And did I mention
we're a Boingo Hotspot?
99
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,020
Take it down a notch.
100
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,598
You're selling it harder
than Anne Hathaway
101
00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:10,194
on The Tonight Show.
102
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,899
Oh, hi, I'm not here to buy,
just to look.
103
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,570
On a diet since 1998.
104
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,362
Oh, dear lord,
those look amazing.
105
00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:20,954
-Can I just smell a piece?
-Bonnie, don't.
106
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,239
It'll get you going
and then halfway to Paris,
107
00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:26,122
I'll find you in coach binging
on a bag of Sun Chips.
108
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:28,451
That's my favorite thing
about the job.
109
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,996
Oh, Paris reminds me.
110
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:35,712
I bought two first class tickets
to Paris on three credit cards
111
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,303
that will escalate
20 percent over six years.
112
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,719
Anyway,
I really need to return them.
113
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,548
What's the window on that
with your airline?
114
00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:44,092
A month, about the same amount
of time I have
115
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,307
until this fake smile
finally falls off my face.
116
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,810
Lady, we're flight attendants.
117
00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:50,391
If that smile falls off
your face,
118
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,435
you're gonna have to get a job
at Southwest.
119
00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,399
So why are you returning them?
You don't like Paris?
120
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:58,020
J'adore Paris,
but long story short--
121
00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,778
I'll make it short
because she's incapable
122
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,030
and will throw in lots more
of that fake French.
123
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,449
Bought the tickets
so that I could get to the gate
124
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:05,741
to see a guy I was banging.
125
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:06,994
I hear you.
126
00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:09,196
I once hid in the luggage cart
for 12 hours
127
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,446
to do it with this cute guy
who works at Customs here.
128
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,538
Oh, right. Rick.
What's he doing now?
129
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,955
Me, every third Tuesday.
130
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,045
Don't leave me hanging, ladies.
131
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:23,183
If we hadn't just read
Lean In in our wine club,
132
00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:24,337
I mean, book club,
133
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,684
we'd be real jealous
of you gals.
134
00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:28,972
We always had a dream
to open a shop at the airport.
135
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,095
Well, whatever it is,
just don't open near a Cinnabon
136
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:34,312
because failure smells
a hell of a lot like cinnamon.
137
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,154
WOMAN: (ON P.A.) Final boarding
call for flight 24 to Paris.
138
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,400
Final boarding call.
139
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:41,151
"Final boarding call"?
We better hurry.
140
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,204
(HUMS)
141
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,621
Wow. Everything looks
so much smaller in here
142
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:55,616
than I remembered it.
143
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:57,996
Like returning
to your old high school
144
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,214
or your old
high school boyfriend's penis.
145
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,844
Not mine.
I went to an urban high school.
146
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,799
What's that weird smell?
147
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:08,966
Probably that milk.
148
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:12,638
It's been in here so long,
its own photo was on the carton.
149
00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:16,732
No, it's over here.
Really pungent.
150
00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:21,193
Yes!
151
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:30,617
Hmm... I might
owe you two some rent.
152
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:34,196
Unless you wanna settle in weed.
153
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:38,668
I always wanna settle in weed.
In fact, I plan to retire there.
154
00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:41,335
Marijuana's in the closet?
155
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:44,090
This is more shocking
than Meredith Baxter-Birney.
156
00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:49,678
Look, I figured since you two
abandoned the cupcake shop,
157
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,141
this space was available.
158
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,561
Also, I stopped asking
permission for stuff
159
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,099
when I turned 70.
160
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,481
We did not abandon it.
161
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,480
We just haven't paid attention
to it in three months,
162
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,522
like me with any hair
above my mid-thigh.
163
00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,149
Tell me about it.
164
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,613
When you bend over
in that skirt,
165
00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:06,692
it looks like you're giving
birth to Art Garfunkel.
166
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,579
Me, me, me, me
167
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:15,078
Me, me, me
168
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,751
Oh, good. Earl, you're here.
169
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,291
Yes, I am.
Don't tell any of my ex-wives.
170
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:25,126
Earl, would you do me the honor
171
00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,723
and walk me
down the aisle tomorrow night?
172
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,675
Sophie, sorry.
173
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,259
I didn't know
your father was dead.
174
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,505
Did he die upon meeting Oleg?
175
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:35,927
Oh, he's not dead
176
00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:39,635
but I'm not getting upstaged
by an iron lung.
177
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:44,570
Well, Earl, how could you say no
to such a heartfelt request?
178
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,364
I'd be honored, Sophie.
179
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:50,993
Like the wedding saying goes,
"Something old, something new,
180
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,702
something borrowed
and someone black."
181
00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:57,294
Oh, Caroline, look.
182
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,500
Here are the pink ribbons
for Chestnut.
183
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:02,831
Chestnut has to be covered
in girly ribbons?
184
00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:04,538
I can't do that to my boy.
185
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:06,128
I'll throw in another $50.
186
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:09,422
I guess there's a reason "horse"
sounds so much like "whore."
187
00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:13,554
Now, we're all gonna leave
for the church at 6:00,
188
00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:19,233
but I told Earl 4:00,
because, well, you know.
189
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,531
(RESUMES HUMMING)
190
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:30,029
What's happening over there?
Max, you're humming.
191
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,648
(SCOFFS) What?
192
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:35,028
(LAUGHS) Please,
I am not a hummer.
193
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,736
I mean, I'll drive in them,
I'll give them but I am not one.
194
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,657
(RESUMES HUMMING)
195
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,248
Oh, my God, I am humming.
What's wrong with me?
196
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,544
What am I gonna do next, smile?
197
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,920
That's right.
Today's special promotion,
198
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:53,378
in and out in five minutes
or your dessert is half off.
199
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,257
Eat it, Cinnabon!
200
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:58,175
Pear tart and a coffee.
Come on, I'm on a clock here!
201
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,354
Who had the damn pear tart
and a coffee?
202
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:02,975
Max, hurry.
Five minutes, in and out.
203
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,811
Yeah, the one thing
you don't have to explain to me
204
00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:06,395
is "in and out."
205
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,440
I need help.
I never said I was fast.
206
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:10,994
All my high school guidance
counselors did, but I did not.
207
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:12,783
I'll go get John off break
208
00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:14,363
because my waiter
still isn't here.
209
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,697
This whole Middle East situation
210
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,952
is just so inconvenient
for me.
211
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,325
Okay.
Now, we have a real situation.
212
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,253
You hit someone.
Damn it, Max!
213
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,252
It's not about me.
It's Sophie.
214
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,840
Her gown arrived from Poland
215
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,298
and it's stuck in customs
out here.
216
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:33,512
SOPHIE: My gown!
My beautiful gown!
217
00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:36,474
Oh, my God! My gown!
218
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,103
Wow, she is really upset.
219
00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:42,431
Really upset, because this
isn't even on speaker.
220
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,519
Yes, it's awful,
but look on the bright side.
221
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,515
Our certain-to-be-hideous
bridesmaids dresses
222
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,487
are stuck in customs too.
223
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,277
No, those arrived.
224
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:54,861
Damn it!
225
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,656
First, it's the Middle East,
now those dresses.
226
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,030
I cannot catch a break.
227
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:02,294
Wow, this place is packed.
228
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,000
Remember us?
Bonnie and Ronnie?
229
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:05,921
We knew you when.
230
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,669
Hey, wait, Ronnie,
didn't you say
231
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,420
that you boned a guy in customs?
232
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,843
That was Bonnie.
I have standards
233
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:13,382
and he didn't like me.
234
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:16,548
To be clear, I did have sex
with the customs guy,
235
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,104
but not in customs.
236
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,887
It was in one
of those family bathrooms.
237
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,064
Look, is there any way
you could help us
238
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,810
get a package out of customs?
239
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:28,313
Wait. What bra am I wearing?
Oh, done.
240
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:32,688
John, we're leaving.
You're in charge.
241
00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,402
Max.
We can't leave right now.
242
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:36,736
The wedding's not until tonight
243
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,412
and we're in the middle
of a store promotion
244
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:39,620
and we're losing.
245
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,618
You know I'm gonna kill you,
right?
246
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,201
I just have to figure out how.
247
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,496
Top contender is hooking
your necklace on the front gate
248
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,000
and pushing up.
249
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,631
We'll stay as late as possible.
250
00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:51,377
Just pick up Sophie's dress box
and hop on the subway.
251
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,131
Easy peasy.
252
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:58,258
MAN: (ON P.A.)
Watch the closing doors, please.
253
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:02,215
Why is nothing easy peasy?
254
00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:08,135
MAN: (ON P.A.)
Watch the closing doors, please.
255
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,977
I am watching the doors!
256
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,362
It's hard not to!
They're about to eat my box!
257
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,781
-(MAN LAUGHS)
-(IMITATES LAUGH)
258
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,030
Yeah, real funny, sir.
259
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,071
A girl said, "Eat my box."
Grow up.
260
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,536
Jeez.
How could a dress be this big?
261
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,659
This is just the veil.
262
00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:28,786
I have to get something out
of my bag.
263
00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,384
Hold this by yourself
for a second.
264
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,498
(GROANING)
265
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:36,049
I can't find it.
Here, take this.
266
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,800
-What is this?
-A hundred dollars in change.
267
00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,474
We need it for the wedding.
It's a Polish custom
268
00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:42,182
to throw change at the bride.
269
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,721
Loose change?
Live animals?
270
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:47,056
Is this a wedding
or a cock fight?
271
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,230
Max, this is heavy.
272
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:50,941
What do you have to get
out of your bag?
273
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,360
-Something important.
-What is it?
274
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,860
The rest of my Cinnabon.
275
00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:57,359
Max, that's our competition.
276
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,573
The reason for our failure
is that piece of crap.
277
00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:00,863
I mean, I ca--
278
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:04,367
Oh, my God, this is delicious.
279
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,537
No!
Max, he's got the money bag!
280
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:13,134
No! No! No, no, no!
281
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,960
That is our Polish bride money!
282
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:16,916
Back off!
283
00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:19,094
This is not the day
to screw with me.
284
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,343
I'm at the business bottom
285
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:23,184
and I've had nothing to lose
since 2011!
286
00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:29,925
Queen's Plaza.
287
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:33,478
Yup.
That's what would happen next.
288
00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,032
What's the hold-up back there?
289
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,275
People are placing bets
that I'm halfway to Reno
290
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:48,618
with a hooker
and the wedding cash.
291
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,035
Relax. After that subway,
292
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,751
Max and Caroline needed
some time to freshen up.
293
00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:55,842
They came smelling
like that diner cheese
294
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:57,548
I tell you all is still good.
295
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,052
Hey, everybody.
296
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:05,514
We look just like Sophie.
I am so relieved.
297
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:08,505
I thought I'd be way overdressed
but I'm just under-boobed.
298
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,225
Yeah, we were in a hurry
299
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,345
or I would have loaned her
a cup of mine.
300
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,769
All right.
301
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,194
Oleg, stop looking at us
like that.
302
00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:20,404
It's okay.
I'm marrying you.
303
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,648
You guys look like
the Four Tops.
304
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:25,528
Well, two tops and a bottom.
305
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,622
Oleg, Sophie doesn't want you
to see her.
306
00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,706
Jump on Chestnut
and start down the aisle.
307
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,840
And Chestnut, I'm sorry, baby.
308
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:39,918
I know
you never wanted to do drag.
309
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,218
And, Han,
you're supposed to take this
310
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:46,471
in case something happens
in the aisle.
311
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:50,255
This just went from best man
to worst job.
312
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:53,019
(TRADITIONAL UKRAINIAN
MUSIC PLAYS)
313
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,698
Hi.
What do you think, girls?
314
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,325
Do I look like a virgin?
315
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,173
- (TUBA PLAYS)
-Listen!
316
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:22,461
I heard the tuba.
That's my cue. Go, girls. Go.
317
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:25,877
(TRADITIONAL POLISH
MUSIC PLAYS)
318
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,046
Oh, God!
319
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:07,169
Her dress almost killed us
and now it killed Earl.
320
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:10,299
(PANTING)
321
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:13,216
Thanks.
I thought I was a goner.
322
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:20,521
Time for the vows.
323
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,645
Bring the crowns!
324
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:27,775
(SINGS)
And crowned is married
325
00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:33,371
With honor
326
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:35,946
Now...
327
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:39,745
raise the crowns to their heads.
328
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,799
Better go. This is as good as
it's gonna get without a ladder.
329
00:16:56,599 --> 00:17:00,269
I, Sophie Kachinsky...
330
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:09,071
take you,
Oleg Golishevsky
331
00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:14,578
to love and to cherish,
to have and to hold,
332
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:20,290
never to leave your side
'til death comes to take me.
333
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:25,590
(VOICE CRACKING)
I, Oleg Golishevsky,
334
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,633
take you, Sophie Kachinsky,
335
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:32,759
to love and to cherish,
to have and to hold,
336
00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:36,894
never to leave your side
'til death comes to take me.
337
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:44,062
I pronounce you
husband and wife!
338
00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:51,106
Max, now you throw the coins.
339
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:56,987
Long story.
340
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:03,788
Wow, girl, your fingers work fast.
341
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:06,995
Must be from years of opening
those 501 button-fly jeans.
342
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:08,713
Mine and others'.
343
00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:11,086
Max, I'm done waiting.
344
00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:13,183
I need that piece of cake
right now.
345
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,679
We just had a close call in the air.
346
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,640
So close,
we gave the finger to the pilot
347
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:18,601
in the plane next to us.
348
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:22,137
We almost crashed and I didn't
wanna go down screaming,
349
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:24,477
"I should have opened
a daycare center!"
350
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:28,315
I usually go down screaming,
"You didn't buy me dinner!"
351
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,857
Bonnie, let's admit it.
352
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,443
We're never gonna go
for our dream,
353
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,318
just like we never went
to get those colonics.
354
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,450
If we really wanted
our own business,
355
00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:39,874
we would have done it already,
like Max and Caroline did.
356
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,538
Right, we did.
357
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:46,584
John, cut these two
the biggest piece
358
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,337
of coconut macadamia nut cake
we have.
359
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,880
Oh, my God.
I think I just climaxed.
360
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,335
Well, then pull your panties on
361
00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:56,804
and slink the hell out
like you usually do.
362
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,060
Caroline, I need to talk to you.
What are you doing?
363
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:06,352
Working. I'm very sick.
364
00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:09,765
Bonnie and Ronnie out there
just reminded me of something.
365
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:12,107
I mean, besides two drunk aunts
on vacation.
366
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,897
We have our own business.
367
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,818
The High isn't our failure.
368
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,945
We already have
our very own failure
369
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:21,122
called "Max's
Homemade Cupcakes."
370
00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,411
And if we stay here, we're
building someone else's dream,
371
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,286
not ours.
372
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:28,003
Also, if we stay, your ass
will be the size of a house.
373
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:32,014
I mean, when was the last time
you felt happy here?
374
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,006
Like 30 seconds ago
375
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:36,510
when you said
this place wasn't our failure
376
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:38,683
and I remembered I was
holding another one of these
377
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,390
in my other hand.
378
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:42,721
Let's get out of this airport.
379
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:46,136
We never have to see another
Nicholas Sparks novel again.
380
00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:47,347
But first, we have to get rid
381
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,056
of those
two plane tickets to Paris.
382
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,689
Do we?
383
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,148
I mean, if we're gonna fail
384
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,737
we can still do that
after a week in Paris, right?
385
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:03,293
Right. I'm so stoked.
I've never been in first class.
386
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,868
Except, Max, this is coach.
387
00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:08,578
I got a refund on one ticket
and traded in the other
388
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:11,625
to buy two coach tickets
and to pay for a cheap hotel.
389
00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:14,756
I'm so stoked.
I've never been in coach.
390
00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:16,878
And also so we have money
to spend.
391
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,175
We should be able to do Paris
for a week on $12.
392
00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,219
Of course, we can.
393
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,020
What's the difference
between coach and first, anyway?
394
00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:26,138
The champagne.
395
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,193
We'll be back
with the good crackers,
396
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:30,809
and I don't mean us.
397
00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:37,898
Well, partner, after all
we've been through this year,
398
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,777
whatever comes next,
I kind of feel ready for it.
399
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:43,115
BONNIE: (ON P.A.)
Flight crew, prepare for take-off.
400
00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:45,491
(HUMMING)
401
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:50,998
-Hey, now you're humming.
-I am?
402
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,049
Hey, can I trade this in for a beer?
403
00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:04,894
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)
404
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:09,060
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
405
00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:29,912
(English - US - SDH)
406
00:21:29,962 --> 00:21:34,512
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