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1
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:03,497
Oleg, the people at table two
want to know
2
00:00:03,587 --> 00:00:04,667
what's in the veggie burger.
3
00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:07,469
No. They don't.
4
00:00:10,803 --> 00:00:12,893
Ah, that's fine.
They wanted refills,
5
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:15,311
so I'm probably not gonna go
back there anyway.
6
00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:16,641
Where's Max?
7
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,225
This plate has been here
so long,
8
00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:20,649
the salmon is turning
into Salmonella.
9
00:00:23,149 --> 00:00:25,649
She took a break
with the new dishwasher.
10
00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:28,649
Max, I thought you slipped out
the back.
11
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:31,913
He did for a minute
but I popped him back in.
12
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:39,794
This just in,
work is so much more fun
13
00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:41,424
when you're sleeping
with a co-worker.
14
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:46,455
Max, that was good.
It was five Hail Marys good.
15
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,876
I think we made
these dishes dirtier.
16
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,554
Max, he's cute,
17
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:55,346
but how can you even stay hard
with that accent?
18
00:00:56,598 --> 00:01:00,598
"Come here, Max.
I wanna hump you a wee bit."
19
00:01:03,439 --> 00:01:04,939
What can I say,
20
00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:07,364
I always had a thing for the guy
on the box of Lucky Charms.
21
00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:10,779
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
22
00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:12,355
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)
23
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:23,381
Hey, everybody.
24
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:28,168
Look, I got me a Fitbit.
25
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,876
12, 13, 14, 15...
26
00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:33,466
(BREATHES RAPIDLY)
27
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:35,011
Only 200,000 more steps
28
00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:38,434
before I get a bit more fit
for my wedding.
29
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:40,058
That's impressive.
30
00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:43,401
I couldn't even make it
through 12 steps.
31
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:48,228
Hey, Max.
How's my maid of honor?
32
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:53,107
Hey, Caroline. How's my
run-of-the-mill wedding guest?
33
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,081
I'm doing great.
34
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:57,488
Did that sound convincing?
35
00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:58,785
'Cause I've been practicing it
36
00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,913
in the bathroom mirror
for an hour every morning.
37
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:04,457
I know, I've got to stop sitting
on the toilet while you do that.
38
00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:08,423
Max, let's talk
bridesmaid dresses.
39
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,133
I don't care,
I'll wear anything.
40
00:02:10,256 --> 00:02:13,086
I wore a Greyhound Bus
driver's uniform to my prom.
41
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:15,760
I was coming straight from work.
42
00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:18,717
Well, I have decided
43
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:21,596
to wear Grandma Kachinsky's
wedding gown.
44
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:25,095
Yeah, all of the women
in my family wore it.
45
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:27,608
Everyone except aunts Svetti
and Letti
46
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,399
'cause, well, they're attached
at the abdomen.
47
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,275
There she is.
48
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,573
The hot sauce
for my Huevos Mancheros.
49
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,122
Hey, Sophie, baby,
I got you what you want.
50
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,666
Oleg, no one wants hepatitis.
51
00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:50,053
It's official.
52
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,840
Our wedding's gonna be
in The Times.
53
00:02:53,299 --> 00:02:55,879
Oleg, how are you gonna be
in The Times?
54
00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,683
The Times tends to be picky
55
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,640
and you tend to be more
"picky your nose."
56
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:04,811
You know, my second wedding
made The Times.
57
00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:08,557
'Cause my first wife showed up
and shot me in the leg.
58
00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:11,029
(CELLPHONE CHIMES)
59
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:16,492
That's Vlanka, my sister.
She's my other bridesmaid.
60
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,737
Yeah, we're not that close
61
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,579
but I feel bad for her
62
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,700
'cause she's one
of those adults with freckles.
63
00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:29,628
Max, you're gonna be
in The Times.
64
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:33,625
In The Times, wearing God knows
what Sophie will pick.
65
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:38,431
I mean, she has a drawer full
of diamond tiaras for the gym.
66
00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:43,056
Hello, what are you two
talking about?
67
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,893
Deciding which tables to ignore?
68
00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:47,935
We're talking about
Sophie's taste.
69
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:51,402
Oh, bitch, please.
70
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,441
Come on.
71
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:56,073
My morning fiber cookie
has better taste than Sophie.
72
00:03:58,237 --> 00:04:00,487
Girls, Vlanka's out.
73
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:03,079
She has an attitude
and freckles.
74
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,961
Yeah. I mean, that's too far.
75
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:10,752
So, Caroline, congratulations.
76
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,250
You're my new bridesmaid.
77
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,853
Okay, I found a
bridesmaid's dress that I like.
78
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,350
But the only way
we can afford it
79
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:27,100
is if I sell you to that
Armenian guy on Craigslist.
80
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:31,435
No way. I get sick
of hummus after four bites.
81
00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:33,862
Max, we have
to take charge of this.
82
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:35,733
Because whatever dress
Sophie picks
83
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:37,238
is like a Tyler Perry movie.
84
00:04:37,403 --> 00:04:40,913
I don't have to see it
to know it's gonna be awful.
85
00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,742
We'll find something classy,
and beautiful
86
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:48,287
and just shove it
down her throat.
87
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:52,132
Who's shoving what down whom?
88
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:55,843
And if you don't have a story,
I do.
89
00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:00,842
John, Max and I got roped
into being bridesmaids.
90
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:05,305
Stop. You had me at rope.
You lost me at bridesmaids.
91
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,059
I'll be at the hostess stand,
looking at dresses
92
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,935
and silently wishing
for an asteroid
93
00:05:10,019 --> 00:05:11,229
to wipe us off the planet.
94
00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:13,311
If wishes made things happen,
95
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:16,266
we'd been in the middle of a
zombie apocalypse right now.
96
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:19,531
Hey, girls.
97
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,360
My dress just arrived
from Poland
98
00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:23,567
and I'm busting for you
to see it.
99
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,950
See it while I eat one
of your $14 puddings.
100
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,245
Sophie, I've been looking
at color choices
101
00:05:30,329 --> 00:05:32,579
and how would you feel
about us in a nude?
102
00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:34,375
Max could go nude
103
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:37,799
but you don't have the rack
to pull it off.
104
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,513
Does anyone have a knife?
105
00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:46,177
Max, why do you have
a switchblade
106
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:47,682
to work in a dessert bar?
107
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,814
My mother always told me
to carry protection.
108
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,903
Wait 'til you see
Grandma Kachinsky's dress.
109
00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:58,270
They don't make them like
they used to.
110
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,238
You know, forced gypsy labor
is illegal now.
111
00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:05,072
Here we go.
112
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,329
-(GROANING)
-(COUGHING)
113
00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:14,001
Sophie, was your grandma
the Crypt Keeper?
114
00:06:17,086 --> 00:06:18,586
What's going on out here?
115
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,800
What's all that white powder
in the air?
116
00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:24,925
I'm trying to run a restaurant,
not an 80's disco.
117
00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:27,219
Oh, put a sock in it.
118
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,677
I'm buying one of your freaking
overpriced puddings.
119
00:06:33,519 --> 00:06:37,979
I'd get mad but I'm mildly
attracted to you right now.
120
00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:41,244
Just mildly?
121
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:44,400
I mean, now I'm getting mad.
122
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,533
Sorry. Wedding drama.
123
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,446
Her dress just fell completely
to pieces
124
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:51,333
like I'm assuming I'll be doing
in the near future.
125
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:55,621
Whatever you need bridal,
go to Rosenfeld's in Brooklyn.
126
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:58,456
That's where I got my dress
when I was broke and straight.
127
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,341
So you weren't always
into women?
128
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:04,173
Of course I was.
129
00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:06,968
Except those three years
in Scientology.
130
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:12,311
Well, it looks like
the three of us
131
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,272
are going to go
dress shopping now. Yeah.
132
00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:17,809
And, you know,
I got to go wash my hands
133
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,896
'cause they're covered
in old lady DNA.
134
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:26,448
Well, that's that.
135
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:28,162
Shopping with Sophie is like
136
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,370
when I worked
in a Thai massage parlor.
137
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:33,252
We are going down.
138
00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:39,421
Not if we go before Sophie
139
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,750
and hide every
ugly bridesmaid's dress
140
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:42,746
that Sophie would like.
141
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,474
If she can't see them,
she can't make us wear them.
142
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,586
How did you come up with that
so fast?
143
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,428
It's the same plan I used
in 2010
144
00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:51,681
when I was a bridesmaid
for Chelsea Clinton.
145
00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:55,234
Bad dress and then her father
followed me into the coat room.
146
00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:03,483
Oh, wow. Look at this place.
It reminds me of that movie.
147
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:06,317
- Bridesmaids?
-No, Nightmare on Elm Street.
148
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,034
I don't know what you're
worried about, Caroline.
149
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,776
I think
they're all quite lovely.
150
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:15,372
Nash, please. You're a
poor person from Ireland.
151
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,752
I'll ask your opinion
when I need to know
152
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,421
where to go
to get free leg braces.
153
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:27,586
You were right, Max.
She can be a real "B" sometimes.
154
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,127
I'm sorry, but I don't even know
why he's here.
155
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,967
Bonin' O'Brien here...
156
00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:38,642
is gonna distract
the sales lady
157
00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,439
while we hide the ugly dresses.
158
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:43,984
-Hello, ladies.
-Same plan.
159
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,194
Who's the lucky bride?
160
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:50,112
Or should I say,
who's the lucky cradle robber?
161
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,867
(LAUGHS)
162
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,198
Don't mind me.
163
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,163
It's just my crazy
sense of humor.
164
00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:57,044
Oh, the ladies here love it.
165
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,115
The call me "Crazy Carl."
166
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,498
"Did you hear
what Crazy Carl said?"
167
00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:05,668
They just love it.
168
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:06,999
I'm Caroline.
169
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:09,129
This is Max
and he isn't the groom.
170
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:12,336
No, no, no.
He's single and gay.
171
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:16,257
Yes. So gay, he got kicked out
of One Direction.
172
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,941
Why don't you two
walk off somewhere
173
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:25,860
and share poignant
coming-out stories.
174
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,356
-Go.
-But Max--
175
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,952
Oh, you heard the women, go.
176
00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:36,696
Can do. Ladies, look around,
we'll be back in about a month.
177
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:39,874
Tahiti anyone?
I'm just Crazy Carl.
178
00:09:39,955 --> 00:09:41,455
The ladies love it.
179
00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:45,917
Bridesmaid's dresses
should be called what they are.
180
00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:49,133
Really expensive donations
to Goodwill.
181
00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:52,723
-Is this one bad?
-No. That's a Vera Wang.
182
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:58,141
But this is a very wrong.
Hide it.
183
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:02,517
And it's evil twin.
184
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,102
(CHUCKLES)
185
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:07,149
I didn't know hazmat suits
came with feathers.
186
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:11,645
Oh, my God.
187
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:14,740
This the worst thing
I've ever seen.
188
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,115
And I've seen a prostitute
change her tampon
189
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,120
on the sidewalk.
190
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,749
Who are you calling
a prostitute?
191
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:32,091
This, we've got to hide.
I can't get this dress off.
192
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,471
Just tell it you work at Google
193
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:35,429
and you're thinking
of settling down.
194
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:38,099
Lift it up. Lift it up.
Dump it back there.
195
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:43,064
Stop.
You put Butterscotch Betty down.
196
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,226
Oh, we were just looking
for a price tag.
197
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:48,145
I know what's going on here.
198
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,773
You're hiding the good dresses
199
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:51,397
to make sure no one else
can get them
200
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,945
at our annual half-off sale
tomorrow.
201
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:57,663
Yeah, that's what we're doing.
We're hiding the good dresses.
202
00:10:57,908 --> 00:11:01,158
In fact, I just caught
another Sneaky Sue.
203
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,790
Oh, I'm Sophie.
204
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:09,208
Oh, wow, wow, wow!
205
00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:14,259
Oh, look at the color.
206
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:17,638
That's not color.
That's radiation.
207
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,347
That dress is a one of a kind.
208
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:23,311
-Meaning there's only one?
-No, we have two.
209
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,975
And I have two bridesmaids.
210
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:30,937
I love it when life
works out perfect like this.
211
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:39,318
Ladies, our half-off sale
will begin in a minute.
212
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:40,825
Look at this place.
213
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,991
There are more desperate women
crammed in here
214
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:46,207
than the splash zone
at a Kenny Chesney concert.
215
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:50,041
I know. It's like
Black Friday at Walmart.
216
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,378
And like Black Friday,
217
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,631
hopefully someone
will trample me.
218
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,797
'Cause thanks to these dresses,
my life is over.
219
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,394
Max, did you hear me?
My life is over.
220
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,466
You said that
when the Chinese food place
221
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,176
forgot the duck sauce.
222
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,345
Well, I'm sorry,
223
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,265
but I had a whole other scenario
planned
224
00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:09,061
for my return to The Times.
225
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:12,190
"Entrepreneur rises
from the ashes."
226
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,939
Now, I'm just gonna be
in The Times,
227
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:16,034
looking like a stupid ash.
228
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,283
Shoot, girl,
just push on through.
229
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,573
I'm pushing, girl.
I am pushing.
230
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,157
-Excuse us. Excuse us.
-Excuse us. Excuse us.
231
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,203
-Excuse us.
-Excuse us.
232
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,955
Just go, girl.
233
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:30,288
I don't want anybody else
to get those two yellow dresses.
234
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:33,383
Max, did you hear that?
235
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:36,131
Someone has worse taste
than Sophie.
236
00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:37,553
Let them through.
237
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,676
Now we just have
to hang back here
238
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,179
and let them get
to those dresses first.
239
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,220
Yay. My life is good again.
240
00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:47,524
Max, Caroline, up here!
241
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,598
What was that, like, a second?
242
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:54,769
I saved you a space upfront.
Come on!
243
00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:56,777
Well, it's over.
244
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,150
As soon as they cut that ribbon,
245
00:12:58,235 --> 00:12:59,735
Sophie's gonna Marshawn Lynch
246
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,241
everyone who gets in the way
of us and those dresses.
247
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:03,533
There's only one way
out of this.
248
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,866
And you called it earlier.
249
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:07,583
You have
to let them trample you.
250
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,788
I'm serious.
251
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:12,673
I'm not about to be trampled
on purpose.
252
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,085
See if you still feel that way
253
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,878
after I say
these next few words.
254
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,964
"Pictured from left,
Caroline Channing."
255
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:21,878
Try to fend off any heels
you see heading for my eyes.
256
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,680
Attention, ladies.
257
00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:27,263
As you see,
I have the big scissors,
258
00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:31,809
which can only mean it's time
to trim some nose hairs.
259
00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,274
(LAUGHTER)
260
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:37,403
That Carl is crazy.
261
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,860
The annual bridal sale is now...
262
00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:42,696
-Max, hold my hand.
-open.
263
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,990
(SCREAMING)
264
00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:51,872
Ladies, ladies, one at a time.
265
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,246
-(YELPS)
-(THUD)
266
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,842
Well, I may be limping
down the aisle
267
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,669
but at least I won't be limping
in something Swiffer might sell
268
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,965
to dust off ceiling fans.
269
00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:04,639
(GIRL SCREAMS)
270
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,299
Oh, my God, girl!
Here she comes!
271
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:08,388
Here she comes!
272
00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:12,272
My girl, Rhonda,
had that dress first.
273
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,311
Oh, your girl is gonna have
to pry it
274
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:15,975
out of my cold, dead hands.
275
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:19,727
Hey, Max, Caroline!
Try it on!
276
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,949
Follow me to the changing room.
277
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:39,464
CAROLINE: I'm never coming out
in this dress, I'm scared.
278
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,966
On the count of one, two...
279
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:48,597
Maybe it's not that bad.
280
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,643
-It's bad.
-It's bad.
281
00:14:56,980 --> 00:15:00,650
Okay. So you're telling me,
Versace got murdered
282
00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:03,824
but no one's taken out
whoever made these?
283
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,566
I know.
284
00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:07,374
I feel like Tweety Bird
is gonna sue us
285
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,158
for copyright infringement.
286
00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:15,459
I feel like we should have giant
toilet paper rolls under here.
287
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:17,376
Well, maybe
we'll like these better
288
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:18,958
when we're out
of this bright light.
289
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:22,088
Max, we are the bright light.
290
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:27,047
Ladies, you forgot
the matching hats.
291
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,470
There's more?
292
00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:34,064
Oh, if anyone finds a Xanax,
it's mine.
293
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,390
It was knocked out of my hand
by two women duking it out
294
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:40,269
over a chintz mermaid dress.
295
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,607
Oh, now it looks good.
296
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:53,370
There's Xanax on the loose
and I'm just standing here?
297
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:54,542
At least if I was high,
298
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,250
I'd have an excuse
to be wearing this.
299
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,044
Here pilly, pilly.
300
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:02,125
Here pilly, pilly, pilly.
301
00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:07,089
Girl, for real, you look like
straight up crap in that dress.
302
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:11,144
For real. You white girls
can't pull that color off.
303
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,966
That's a waste
of popping lemon yellow.
304
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:17,352
I know.
I am way too white for this.
305
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,114
She's also too white
to say "turnt up" all the time
306
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,687
but that hasn't stopped her.
307
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,239
This dress was not my choice.
308
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,570
I hate everything about it.
This is a disaster.
309
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:31,203
-This is "Dressageddon."
-Yeah, but in a good way.
310
00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:35,618
You two don't wanna wear
the dresses?
311
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,328
You don't have to.
312
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:39,326
But I thought you wanted us
313
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:41,455
to match the balloons
and the ducks.
314
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:46,093
Max, she said we don't have
to wear the dress.
315
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,302
Don't question her.
316
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,591
That's like questioning
a prison guard
317
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,434
when he says you're free to go.
318
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:54,636
Sophie, are you sure
you don't care?
319
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,564
Oh, yeah. Sure.
320
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,980
Yeah, they're all yours,
Destiny's Child.
321
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,988
This is 10 pounds of ugly junk.
322
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,791
Reminds me of this bartender,
Pete, I used to date.
323
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,958
Come to think of it,
that made me gag, too.
324
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:24,504
Okay. Done.
325
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,299
(WOMAN SOBS)
326
00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:30,091
Listen, crying
in a women's dressing room?
327
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,427
Whoever it is, girl,
big butts are in.
328
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:37,469
(SOBBING CONTINUES)
329
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,557
That's Sophie's cry.
330
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,102
I know, because I hear it
through the vent
331
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,935
when she watches Nashville.
332
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,320
Sophie?
333
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,398
SOPHIE: No.
334
00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,452
Are you okay?
335
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:56,445
It's not me, but I'm okay.
336
00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:01,328
(CRYING)
337
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:03,463
Sophie, why are you crying?
338
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:07,205
When I heard what you said
about the dresses...
339
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:13,175
It's just--
It's almost, kind of like,
340
00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:16,048
you think I have bad taste
or something.
341
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:19,601
No.
342
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,481
Caroline thinks
you have great taste.
343
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:29,185
Wha... She does?
344
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:32,565
Well, then she should say so.
345
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:34,243
Now.
346
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:42,749
Well, Sophie, I think
you have your own unique style.
347
00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:45,043
And I think
348
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:50,755
that I didn't hear
the words "great" or "taste."
349
00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:52,587
Sophie, what do you even care
what I think?
350
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:53,723
Just say it.
351
00:18:53,842 --> 00:19:00,142
Sophie,
I think you have great taste.
352
00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,471
You do?
353
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:07,273
(LAUGHING)
354
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:09,725
Then, what are we doing
sitting here?
355
00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:13,692
Let's go
and get those dresses back.
356
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:16,489
Come on. Help me.
357
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:22,542
Those other girls
already took them.
358
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,081
What?
359
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:32,381
Well, at least we don't have
to wear those ugly,
360
00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:34,722
yellow bridesmaid's dresses
at the wedding.
361
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,470
Yup. Now, you only have
to wear ugly,
362
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:39,180
yellow dresses here
every night.
363
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:41,224
This is the best thing
that's happened to me
364
00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:43,096
since I realized that weird mole
on my arm
365
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,272
was just a Grape-Nut
and not cancer.
366
00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:47,734
Girls, great news.
367
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:51,315
You stuffed Han in the microwave
and you're ready to hit power?
368
00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:54,528
Come on. We've tried.
You know he doesn't fit.
369
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,951
The one thing he's too big for.
370
00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:00,659
No, I got Ilia Jorbich
to be our wedding photographer.
371
00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:03,699
He's the best photographer
at The Warsaw Times.
372
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,996
Well, he's the only one
who still has both arms.
373
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:10,293
Wait, it's The Warsaw Times?
374
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:12,086
All this time,
I've been thinking it was
375
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:13,800
The New York Times.
376
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:15,212
New York Times?
377
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:16,761
This is much more exclusive.
378
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,513
You can only get it
in two places.
379
00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:22,063
Poland and the deli in
New Jersey that sells missiles.
380
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,103
This is amazing.
381
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:27,385
My comeback in The New York
Times has been preserved.
382
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,768
Max, I'm gonna go ahead
and smile.
383
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:31,694
My life is good again.
384
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,572
Don't smile yet
'cause Sophie told me
385
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:35,940
that because you said
she has such great taste,
386
00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:38,447
she's designing
our dresses herself.
387
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,987
-What was that, like a second?
-Yup.
388
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:45,155
You just went from the best
of times to The Warsaw Times.
389
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,209
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)
390
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:54,125
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
391
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:15,977
(English US - SDH)
392
00:21:16,027 --> 00:21:20,577
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