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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,835 --> 00:00:02,955 It's payday. And I'm not talking about 2 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:04,924 the delicious little treat with nuts. 3 00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:08,966 Han, not cool to brag about yourself. 4 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,723 Here, Max, maybe you can use the money 5 00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,224 to buy a new attitude. 6 00:00:14,974 --> 00:00:16,234 New attitude? 7 00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:18,347 Isn't that the name of the boy band you're in? 8 00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:23,150 And, Oleg, you'll notice I docked your pay 9 00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:25,231 because you didn't even come in yesterday. 10 00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:27,447 I told you, I was working from home. 11 00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:31,868 There you go, Earl. Don't spend it all in one place. 12 00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:34,948 You think you pay me enough to spend it in two places? 13 00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:38,293 Oh, my God, this is less than it cost me 14 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,831 to get here today. 15 00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,375 And I walked. 16 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:46,085 I know. That's all I made? 17 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,421 What is this, "12 Years A Waitress"? 18 00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:52,514 With you, it's more like "12 Beers A Shift." 19 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:57,220 So many words, so little everything else. 20 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,903 (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) 21 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:02,400 (CASH REGISTER RINGS) 22 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,160 -(THUD) -SEBASTIAN: Whoa. 23 00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,452 CAROLINE: Not the face. Not my beautiful face. 24 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,075 Whoa. Whoa. 25 00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:22,634 I warn you, I was in the Nutcracker Suite. 26 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,247 -What's that mean? -This. 27 00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:25,955 Oh. 28 00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:28,422 Don't worry, Max, I handled it. 29 00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:31,506 Yeah, I just handled it too. That's my booty call. 30 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,722 Are you telling me you know him? 31 00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:37,005 No, I don't know him. 32 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,057 He just comes over for sex on Tuesday nights. 33 00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:41,351 Do you need help up? 34 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:43,274 Not yet, I'm still crying a little. 35 00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:47,648 Okay, up you go. Walk it off. 36 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:49,979 Yeah, I bet that hurts. 37 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,237 Nice going, Caroline. You ruined the best part. 38 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:57,615 Hi, I'm Caroline, the roommate and prima ballerina. 39 00:01:58,117 --> 00:01:59,447 Sorry about your sugar plums. 40 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,370 Sebastian. 41 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:02,924 Ba-Ba-Ba. No names. No names. 42 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,205 -Caroline, you want a soda? -We have soda? 43 00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:09,916 No, we don't have soda. 44 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:12,168 Why are you asking him his name? 45 00:02:12,258 --> 00:02:14,798 He doesn't wanna know my name and I don't wanna know his. 46 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,588 Hey, mind if I use your bathroom? 47 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,062 I need to check on the boys. 48 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,428 See if they're girls. 49 00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:26,599 How do you not know the name of the guy you're intimate with? 50 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:27,903 Intimate? 51 00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:30,531 Max, there are certain things you have to know 52 00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:33,189 about the guy you're engaging in sexual congress with. 53 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:37,162 Only you can make sex boring. 54 00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,287 Well, not too bad. 55 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:43,370 One's okay and the other one left on crutches. 56 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,286 -Later. -Sebastian, wait. 57 00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:49,554 This is Max Black. Max, this is Sebastian. 58 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:53,336 -Nice to meet you, Max. -Yeah, nice to meet you too. 59 00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:57,263 And you can just call me what you usually do. "Oh, God." 60 00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:05,523 Hey, is that a new shirt, Earl? 61 00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:09,061 Why, yes it is, Max. I just got it in 1987. 62 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,568 (CELLPHONE CHIMES) 63 00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:15,988 Oh, great. Look at this text. 64 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:18,320 It's from the guy whose sperm count you lowered. 65 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,448 His name is Sebastian. 66 00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,536 Oh, he's inviting you to come see him DJ. 67 00:03:24,622 --> 00:03:27,422 Oh, damn it. I told you I didn't wanna know anything about him 68 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,292 and now I know he's a DJ. 69 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:33,379 Which means he's unemployed, so points for that. 70 00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:36,344 So, what are you gonna text him back? 71 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:37,628 Nothing. 72 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,758 The only back-and-forth I want from this guy 73 00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:42,014 is on his back and for the fourth time. 74 00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:44,812 The best sex is secret sex. 75 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,811 Then maybe don't talk about it while I'm eating. 76 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:54,193 Well, I have a sexy secret. A crush on a girl. 77 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,186 Oleg, we all know it's me. 78 00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:58,567 That sweat-pant salute never lies. 79 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,284 Not you. Don't kid yourself. 80 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,657 You couldn't handle this beast in the sheets. 81 00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:08,706 I could totally handle you in the sheets, Oleg. 82 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,960 What are you fighting for, Caroline? 83 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,002 Hey, everybody. 84 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,343 All right, weather report. 85 00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:20,635 I just came back from a date 86 00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:22,928 and it's raining losers out there. 87 00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:27,393 There's my sexy, sexy, secret crush. 88 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:30,225 Who, Sophie? Not so secret. 89 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:31,362 You two have already done it 90 00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:33,227 in every public space in Brooklyn. 91 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,691 Yeah, and your apartment, twice. 92 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,818 What? We didn't even wake you. 93 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,289 Sophie, baby, 94 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,825 I've been looking for the perfect woman 95 00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:51,963 and it turns out, what I want is in my own back door. 96 00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:55,046 Backyard. 97 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:57,375 I think you're both right. 98 00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:00,883 I hear your truck pull up. 99 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,218 But I'm not sure I wanna sign for your package anymore. 100 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,019 I knew you were going to say that. 101 00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:12,650 So as a reminder, I've created a sizzle reel of our best sex. 102 00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:15,896 So it's an STDVD? 103 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,861 It's the extended version. Uncut, as you know. 104 00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,621 That's it, cancel my brownie. 105 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,001 "Sizzle reel"? 106 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,367 I'll watch it tonight while I eat my fajitas. 107 00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:35,044 (CELLPHONE CHIMES) 108 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,382 Max, you just got another text from Sebastian. 109 00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:38,585 Who? 110 00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:42,260 Please, can we go to the club to see him DJ, Max? 111 00:05:42,341 --> 00:05:44,641 I wanna dance. The last time I shook my booty 112 00:05:44,802 --> 00:05:46,432 was when we ran out of toilet paper. 113 00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,483 Max, thank you so much for taking me dancing. 114 00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:55,362 Well, you signed that paper that said if I did, 115 00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:57,229 you'd do the side work for the next six months. 116 00:05:58,317 --> 00:05:59,317 Are you sure this is the address 117 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:00,990 of the club Sebastian gave you? 118 00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:02,235 Who? 119 00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:04,744 Sebastian. 120 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,910 This can't be the address. It's a Whole Foods. 121 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:11,002 I know what it is. I can smell the cage-free body odor. 122 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:14,498 Let's just go in, ask someone if they know where the club is 123 00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:17,343 and maybe rip a grape off a stem. I'm starving. 124 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,220 Whole Foods, wow. 125 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,552 Reminds me of when I was a whole person. 126 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,104 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) 127 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,142 Max, we can stop looking for the club. 128 00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:31,354 All right, all right. 129 00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:35,062 I'm gonna lay down some beats while you check out our beets. 130 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,022 Organic. 131 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,266 See? 132 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,528 This is why I didn't wanna know anything. 133 00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,452 You ask a guy his name 134 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:47,819 and you find out he's DJ'ing next to radishes. 135 00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:51,286 And what kind of loser comes here to dance? 136 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,251 Woot! Woot! 137 00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:58,419 Holla. 138 00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,799 And I don't mean the kosher bread. 139 00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:08,545 Oh, no. How did you find me here? 140 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,390 Whole Foods is my sexy secret. 141 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,892 You know what's not a secret? 142 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,274 The organic Preparation H in that basket. 143 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,856 Whole Foods is where I come to get my groove on. 144 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,360 Why? Is Chuck E. Cheese closed? 145 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,453 As much as I'd love to see 146 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,239 what else you're gonna buy to rub on your butt, 147 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,291 we're leaving before that DJ sees me. 148 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,700 You mean "DJ Fresh-and-Local"? 149 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,457 The music be pumpin' And we buyin' pumpkin! 150 00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:43,246 Let's go. I can't believe I wore these for this. 151 00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,387 MAX: Wake up. 152 00:07:52,471 --> 00:07:54,771 It's Tuesday and the DJ didn't come. 153 00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,309 Maybe he just drank too much. 154 00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,725 No. He didn't show at all. 155 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,775 There's no DJ Fresh-and-Local in my ones and twos. 156 00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,199 Well, what did you expect? 157 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,241 You ran out of there without even saying hi. 158 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,834 We should've stayed at the club. 159 00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:15,501 Stop calling it a club. 160 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:20,168 He DJs at a supermarket, 161 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,419 which is the lamest thing I've ever seen, 162 00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:25,842 not counting the time you tried to bring back the phrase, 163 00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,173 "Oh, no, you didn't." 164 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,755 I'm surprised at you. 165 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,933 What if I judged you for some of your jobs? 166 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,101 Bar-back slash captain of a shrimp boat 167 00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:38,345 in the Gulf of Mexico isn't the bomb? 168 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,726 What about when you worked at the Gap? 169 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,937 Who told you about the Gap? 170 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,780 You, that time you were drunk, folding a sweater 171 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,951 and you tried to help me spring into summer with cargo shorts. 172 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:56,953 Fine. I fell into the Gap. I needed the money. 173 00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,210 Maybe Sebastian needs the money, too. 174 00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:01,249 Who? 175 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:04,042 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 176 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,168 And if you ever tell anyone about the Gap, 177 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,924 you will have a gap between your neck 178 00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:10,336 and where your head used to be. 179 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,971 Oh, no you didn't. 180 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:19,771 Hey, I wasn't sure if it was too late to come by 181 00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:23,774 but the Ouija board said, "Go ahead, the girls are up." 182 00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:27,687 You use that? 183 00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:30,355 The only spirit I listen to is Two-Buck Chuck 184 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,355 and he mostly tells me to take my top off. 185 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,528 Yeah, Ouija helps me make all my big decisions. 186 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,946 Like coming to America, 187 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,785 adopting a Chinese orphan 188 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,543 and leaving a Chinese orphan at the fire station. 189 00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:48,586 Those boards are creepy. 190 00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,052 You never know what you're inviting in. 191 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,011 I mean, what if we open a Hellmouth? 192 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:57,014 Come on, girls, look around. I mean, you already have. 193 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,847 Okay, now shh. Okay. 194 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,231 Ouija, 195 00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:07,570 should I take Oleg back? 196 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,614 Yes? 197 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:19,328 Oh, now, see, that is creepy because I was shoving it to no. 198 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,785 Do you want to get back with him? 199 00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:25,831 Well, I'm torn. 200 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,750 And also, I don't know what to do. 201 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,670 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) 202 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:35,891 Throw your hands in the air Like you just don't kale 203 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,931 Max, I'm proud of you for overlooking his job 204 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,635 and giving this guy a chance. 205 00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,557 He's making a DJ face. I'm out. 206 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,783 Oh, my God, Dylan. 207 00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:54,032 No, we can't leave now. I just saw this girl 208 00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:56,371 and she is the last person I want to see. 209 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,907 -What is the problem? -It's Hilary Waldare. 210 00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:01,331 We went to Wharton together. So competitive with me. 211 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,410 Loved it when I lost all my money. 212 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,080 She even threw a party to celebrate 213 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,134 and then had the nerve to invite me. 214 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,166 Worst party ever, by the way. 215 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:14,842 Worse than being at a dance club that has a price club? 216 00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:18,144 Max Black in the house of grain. 217 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:22,676 And now he saw me. 218 00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,232 Well, I'm gonna go hide before she sees me. 219 00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:27,479 I'll be in Tom's Shoes. Nobody's ever over there. 220 00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:35,202 I'm bustin' out some free range electronic dance music. 221 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:38,118 That's right. I'm bringing it in my own bag. 222 00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:41,282 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) 223 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,044 Okay, we good? See you next Tuesday. 224 00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:46,328 Come on, stay. What's your hurry? 225 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,249 I can't watch any more people dance-shop. 226 00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:52,455 Max, come on. Get in front of me. See what you can do. 227 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:55,086 Oh, you're behind me this time. That's new. 228 00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:58,759 All right, everybody, Frisee, 229 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:02,304 'cause we got a special guest DJ in the hizzay. 230 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:05,179 Who's so hot it's radicchio. 231 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,231 Go on. 232 00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:12,734 Bob, I'd like to bid $1. $1, Bob, $1. 233 00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:15,244 Have your pets spayed or neutered. 234 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,148 Speaking of neutered pets, here comes Han. 235 00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,580 Still counts as a DJ shout-out. 236 00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:25,161 Hey, why wait until Tuesday? 237 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,035 Why don't I take a break and we can go in the back. 238 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:28,461 I just need to find someone to cover me. 239 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,002 Someone bogarted all the nut butter. 240 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,841 How about half of someone? 241 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,635 -Can I help you, miss? -Max? 242 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,096 What are you doing? 243 00:12:50,187 --> 00:12:51,647 I'm thirsty, broke, 244 00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,520 and they cut me off at the free lemonade. 245 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:54,900 What are you doing? 246 00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:58,072 Well, two dudes were getting it on in the family restroom, so... 247 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,405 -Where's Sebastian? -Who? 248 00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:03,702 Oh, milk. Bottom shelf. 249 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,075 What's up? 250 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,672 You're not doing it in the dairy case. 251 00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:17,633 No, I'm not, because you won't go away. 252 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,473 Do you have to ruin sex everywhere? 253 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,257 Well, Max, 254 00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:25,304 if I wasn't lactose intolerant before, I am now. 255 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,845 Oh, my God, Caroline Channing. 256 00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:33,981 Hi. It's Hilary Waldare. 257 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,573 -Oh, my God. Hi. -Hi. 258 00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:39,689 I haven't seen you since your party. 259 00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,948 Someone said you left crying. How are you? 260 00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:46,160 I'm great. I mean, I'm shopping at Whole Foods, 261 00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,793 buying some organic fuel 262 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:51,208 that I'll probably take a couple sips of in spin class 263 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:52,618 and then throw away, so... 264 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:56,000 Oh, good, because I heard you were still poor 265 00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:58,713 and that you were working as a waitress. 266 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,722 A waitress? 267 00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:02,881 That is insane. 268 00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:07,722 That is so insane it should be in an ice tub in an asylum. 269 00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:10,352 I'm so glad you're great 270 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,643 because when I saw you in those three-year-old Louboutins, 271 00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:15,307 I got worried. 272 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:18,355 Also, you have an orange juice mustache. 273 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,030 -Where's Max? -Milk. 274 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,537 -Max, listen... -Busy. 275 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:35,751 Hilary's still here. And she called me a waitress. 276 00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,127 How dare her. 277 00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:38,461 She humiliated me, 278 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,304 and I didn't even get a party this time. I'm going home. 279 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:44,546 MANAGER: Hilary Waldare, report to register three. 280 00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:47,137 Oh, my God. Did he just say... 281 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,310 MANAGER: Hilary Waldare. Register three. 282 00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:52,429 -He did. Oh, my God. Max. -Busy. 283 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,654 What? Do you wanna just join us? 284 00:14:56,730 --> 00:15:00,520 Hilary Waldare works here, as a cashier. 285 00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:01,609 So I win. 286 00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:04,242 Everyone knows on the job humiliation chain, 287 00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:09,281 it goes: prostitute, hostess, waitress, cashier, 288 00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:12,251 Princess Jasmine in the Disney Electric Light Parade. 289 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:13,998 What happened to not looking down 290 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:16,213 on other people with crappy jobs? 291 00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,711 Oh, please, this is real. 292 00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,253 Now if you'll excuse me, 293 00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:22,956 I have got $14 burning a second hole in my pocket 294 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:25,378 and I'm gonna spend it here at register three. 295 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,846 (SEBASTIAN MOANING) 296 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,224 SEBASTIAN: Whoo! 297 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,811 What, you couldn't wait for me? 298 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,817 (RECORD SCRATCHING) 299 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,360 This goes out to Kelly in prepared foods. 300 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,027 The Kelly with the cystic acne, 301 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,075 not the Kelly with the bald spot. 302 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:55,039 Now, where my Adele-heads at? 303 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,379 (KNOCKING COIN ROLL) 304 00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,167 I'm glad you have no line, 305 00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,670 because I have an exclusive private yoga class to get to-- 306 00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,254 Oh, Hilary. 307 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:07,800 Yes, Caroline. I am a cashier. 308 00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:10,472 I'm sorry, a what? 309 00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:11,932 I'm a cashier. 310 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,676 Yeah, turns out things aren't great. 311 00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,352 My husband left me for my dad. 312 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,730 And they didn't even cut me in on the Lifetime movie rights. 313 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:25,108 It's on in January. Father is the Bride. 314 00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:28,318 Let me just weigh your salad. 315 00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:31,321 Well, I'm sure you'll pull yourself together like I did. 316 00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:33,528 Because I'm kind of killing it, life-wise. 317 00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,162 That'll be $28. 318 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,669 There's only $14 here. 319 00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,843 $28 for a salad? 320 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,674 Well, that's dinosaur kale. 321 00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:49,585 Oh, mistake. Didn't want the Dinosaur kale. 322 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,054 Never liked dinosaurs 323 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,049 and really don't like them in my kale. 324 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,434 Dinosaur kale gone. 325 00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:57,889 You're just putting it on the counter? 326 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,685 Oh, I don't usually shop for myself. 327 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,225 Is that not how it's done? 328 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,737 Caroline, do you not have enough money? 329 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:14,124 No, Hilary, I have enough money. 330 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:19,292 I just don't know why I have so many eggs. 331 00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:25,634 Here. You're holding up the line. 332 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,511 You obviously don't have enough money 333 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:30,718 to pay for your salad. Sad. 334 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,719 I don't know what you're implying. 335 00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:37,221 Here is my very successful business partner. 336 00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:39,517 Sorry, it took so long. I couldn't find my pants. 337 00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:43,101 I don't know how they made it all the way to the loading dock. 338 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:46,151 Face it, Caroline, you came here to humiliate me 339 00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,031 and you can't even afford that egg. 340 00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:49,362 On your face. 341 00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:54,782 Miss, did you drop this $20 bill? 342 00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,414 Yes. Yes, I did. 343 00:17:58,036 --> 00:18:01,036 -I dropped some money, too. -Don't push it. 344 00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:04,384 Thank you, sir. This is very kind of you 345 00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:05,839 and I really appreciate it. 346 00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:07,956 Anything for my favorite waitress. 347 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,506 Oh, I knew you were a waitress. 348 00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,604 Your store sucks. 349 00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,806 I just had sex in your dairy department. 350 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:21,929 Keep the change. 351 00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:24,348 And buy your dad-husband a wedding gift. 352 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,912 Okay, one more time. 353 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,906 Ouija, should I be with Oleg? 354 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:44,619 15 out of 15 yeses. That's still unclear. 355 00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:47,672 Sophie, this is silly. 356 00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:49,881 You know you two wanna get back together. 357 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:53,302 Caroline, we already have the Ouija board. 358 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,089 We don't need another thing around here 359 00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,715 that's flat and wrong all the time. 360 00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:02,101 Fine. Sophie, if it's not me, 361 00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:04,392 after all I've offered you, go. 362 00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:08,399 Ask the spirits who the man you are supposed to be with is. 363 00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:14,283 Ouija, please spell out the name of the man 364 00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:16,452 that I'm supposed to be with. 365 00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,115 Oh, look, it's moving. 366 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:26,668 V, A, N... 367 00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:28,749 This is what the world was like before the internet. 368 00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:33,171 ...K, O. 369 00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:35,547 Vanko. 370 00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,433 Vanko? Yeah, that sounds cute. 371 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,474 Yeah, I like it. 372 00:19:39,554 --> 00:19:42,104 I'm sorry, Oleg. The spirits have spoken. 373 00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:44,765 I'm supposed to be with someone named "Vanko." 374 00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,393 And they know the best. 375 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:50,864 So you're supposed to be with someone named "Vanko"? 376 00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:02,163 "Vanko Oleg Golishevsky"? 377 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,660 I go by my middle name 378 00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:10,419 because there were seven other Vankos in my family. 379 00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:15,796 But I didn't even know that. 380 00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:19,593 Yeah, that means the Ouija is... 381 00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:23,805 Oh, ah... 382 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,183 Yeah. 383 00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,597 Oh, no, no, Vanko. 384 00:20:28,685 --> 00:20:31,605 No. I-- No. I-- We can-- 385 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,609 You and I can get back together, okay? 386 00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:36,691 But I just can't be here right now. 387 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,568 No, I mean, this is just too damn spooky. 388 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,155 (SHRIEKS) 389 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:46,542 I can't wait to tell my brothers Vanko and Vanko about this. 390 00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:50,829 Ah, ah, ah. 391 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,920 Word on the street is, 392 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:56,511 you've been talking some smack about cashiers. 393 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,599 (CASH REGISTER RINGS) 394 00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:12,357 (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) 395 00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:29,869 (English US - SDH) 396 00:21:29,919 --> 00:21:34,469 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 29132

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