Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,835 --> 00:00:02,955
It's payday.
And I'm not talking about
2
00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:04,924
the delicious little treat with nuts.
3
00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:08,966
Han, not cool
to brag about yourself.
4
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,723
Here, Max, maybe you can use
the money
5
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,224
to buy a new attitude.
6
00:00:14,974 --> 00:00:16,234
New attitude?
7
00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:18,347
Isn't that the name
of the boy band you're in?
8
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:23,150
And, Oleg, you'll notice
I docked your pay
9
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:25,231
because you didn't even
come in yesterday.
10
00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:27,447
I told you,
I was working from home.
11
00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:31,868
There you go, Earl.
Don't spend it all in one place.
12
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:34,948
You think you pay me enough
to spend it in two places?
13
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:38,293
Oh, my God,
this is less than it cost me
14
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,831
to get here today.
15
00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,375
And I walked.
16
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:46,085
I know.
That's all I made?
17
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,421
What is this,
"12 Years A Waitress"?
18
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:52,514
With you, it's more like
"12 Beers A Shift."
19
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:57,220
So many words,
so little everything else.
20
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,903
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
21
00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:02,400
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)
22
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,160
-(THUD)
-SEBASTIAN: Whoa.
23
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,452
CAROLINE: Not the face.
Not my beautiful face.
24
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,075
Whoa. Whoa.
25
00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:22,634
I warn you,
I was in the Nutcracker Suite.
26
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,247
-What's that mean?
-This.
27
00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:25,955
Oh.
28
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:28,422
Don't worry, Max,
I handled it.
29
00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:31,506
Yeah, I just handled it too.
That's my booty call.
30
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,722
Are you telling me you know him?
31
00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:37,005
No, I don't know him.
32
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,057
He just comes over for sex
on Tuesday nights.
33
00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:41,351
Do you need help up?
34
00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:43,274
Not yet,
I'm still crying a little.
35
00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:47,648
Okay, up you go.
Walk it off.
36
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:49,979
Yeah, I bet that hurts.
37
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,237
Nice going, Caroline.
You ruined the best part.
38
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:57,615
Hi, I'm Caroline, the roommate
and prima ballerina.
39
00:01:58,117 --> 00:01:59,447
Sorry about your sugar plums.
40
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,370
Sebastian.
41
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:02,924
Ba-Ba-Ba.
No names. No names.
42
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,205
-Caroline, you want a soda?
-We have soda?
43
00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:09,916
No, we don't have soda.
44
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:12,168
Why are you asking him
his name?
45
00:02:12,258 --> 00:02:14,798
He doesn't wanna know my name
and I don't wanna know his.
46
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,588
Hey, mind if I use
your bathroom?
47
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,062
I need to check on the boys.
48
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,428
See if they're girls.
49
00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:26,599
How do you not know the name
of the guy you're intimate with?
50
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:27,903
Intimate?
51
00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:30,531
Max, there are certain things
you have to know
52
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:33,189
about the guy you're engaging
in sexual congress with.
53
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:37,162
Only you can make sex boring.
54
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,287
Well, not too bad.
55
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:43,370
One's okay and the other one
left on crutches.
56
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,286
-Later.
-Sebastian, wait.
57
00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:49,554
This is Max Black.
Max, this is Sebastian.
58
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:53,336
-Nice to meet you, Max.
-Yeah, nice to meet you too.
59
00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:57,263
And you can just call me
what you usually do. "Oh, God."
60
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:05,523
Hey, is that a new shirt, Earl?
61
00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:09,061
Why, yes it is, Max.
I just got it in 1987.
62
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,568
(CELLPHONE CHIMES)
63
00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:15,988
Oh, great.
Look at this text.
64
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:18,320
It's from the guy
whose sperm count you lowered.
65
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,448
His name is Sebastian.
66
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,536
Oh, he's inviting you
to come see him DJ.
67
00:03:24,622 --> 00:03:27,422
Oh, damn it. I told you I didn't
wanna know anything about him
68
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,292
and now I know he's a DJ.
69
00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:33,379
Which means he's unemployed,
so points for that.
70
00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:36,344
So, what are you
gonna text him back?
71
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:37,628
Nothing.
72
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,758
The only back-and-forth
I want from this guy
73
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:42,014
is on his back
and for the fourth time.
74
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:44,812
The best sex is secret sex.
75
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,811
Then maybe don't talk about
it while I'm eating.
76
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:54,193
Well, I have a sexy
secret. A crush on a girl.
77
00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,186
Oleg, we all know it's me.
78
00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:58,567
That sweat-pant salute
never lies.
79
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,284
Not you.
Don't kid yourself.
80
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,657
You couldn't handle this beast
in the sheets.
81
00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:08,706
I could totally handle you
in the sheets, Oleg.
82
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,960
What are you fighting for,
Caroline?
83
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,002
Hey, everybody.
84
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,343
All right, weather report.
85
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:20,635
I just came back from a date
86
00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:22,928
and it's raining losers
out there.
87
00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:27,393
There's my sexy, sexy,
secret crush.
88
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:30,225
Who, Sophie?
Not so secret.
89
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:31,362
You two have already done it
90
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:33,227
in every public space in Brooklyn.
91
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,691
Yeah, and your apartment, twice.
92
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,818
What?
We didn't even wake you.
93
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,289
Sophie, baby,
94
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,825
I've been looking
for the perfect woman
95
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:51,963
and it turns out, what I want
is in my own back door.
96
00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:55,046
Backyard.
97
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:57,375
I think you're both right.
98
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:00,883
I hear your truck pull up.
99
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,218
But I'm not sure I wanna sign
for your package anymore.
100
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,019
I knew you were going to say that.
101
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:12,650
So as a reminder, I've created
a sizzle reel of our best sex.
102
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:15,896
So it's an STDVD?
103
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,861
It's the extended version.
Uncut, as you know.
104
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,621
That's it, cancel my brownie.
105
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,001
"Sizzle reel"?
106
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,367
I'll watch it tonight
while I eat my fajitas.
107
00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:35,044
(CELLPHONE CHIMES)
108
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,382
Max, you just got another text
from Sebastian.
109
00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:38,585
Who?
110
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:42,260
Please, can we go to the club
to see him DJ, Max?
111
00:05:42,341 --> 00:05:44,641
I wanna dance.
The last time I shook my booty
112
00:05:44,802 --> 00:05:46,432
was when we ran out
of toilet paper.
113
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,483
Max, thank you so much
for taking me dancing.
114
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:55,362
Well, you signed that paper
that said if I did,
115
00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:57,229
you'd do the side work
for the next six months.
116
00:05:58,317 --> 00:05:59,317
Are you sure this is the address
117
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:00,990
of the club Sebastian
gave you?
118
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:02,235
Who?
119
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:04,744
Sebastian.
120
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,910
This can't be the address.
It's a Whole Foods.
121
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:11,002
I know what it is. I can smell
the cage-free body odor.
122
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:14,498
Let's just go in, ask someone
if they know where the club is
123
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:17,343
and maybe rip a grape
off a stem. I'm starving.
124
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,220
Whole Foods, wow.
125
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,552
Reminds me of when
I was a whole person.
126
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,104
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)
127
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,142
Max, we can stop looking
for the club.
128
00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:31,354
All right, all right.
129
00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:35,062
I'm gonna lay down some beats
while you check out our beets.
130
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,022
Organic.
131
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,266
See?
132
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,528
This is why
I didn't wanna know anything.
133
00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,452
You ask a guy his name
134
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:47,819
and you find out he's DJ'ing
next to radishes.
135
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:51,286
And what kind of loser
comes here to dance?
136
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,251
Woot! Woot!
137
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:58,419
Holla.
138
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,799
And I don't mean
the kosher bread.
139
00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:08,545
Oh, no.
How did you find me here?
140
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,390
Whole Foods is my sexy secret.
141
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,892
You know what's not a secret?
142
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,274
The organic Preparation H
in that basket.
143
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,856
Whole Foods is where I come
to get my groove on.
144
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,360
Why?
Is Chuck E. Cheese closed?
145
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,453
As much as I'd love to see
146
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,239
what else you're gonna buy
to rub on your butt,
147
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,291
we're leaving
before that DJ sees me.
148
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,700
You mean "DJ Fresh-and-Local"?
149
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,457
The music be pumpin'
And we buyin' pumpkin!
150
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:43,246
Let's go. I can't believe
I wore these for this.
151
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,387
MAX:
Wake up.
152
00:07:52,471 --> 00:07:54,771
It's Tuesday
and the DJ didn't come.
153
00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,309
Maybe he just drank too much.
154
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,725
No. He didn't show at all.
155
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,775
There's no DJ Fresh-and-Local
in my ones and twos.
156
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,199
Well, what did you expect?
157
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,241
You ran out of there
without even saying hi.
158
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,834
We should've stayed at the club.
159
00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:15,501
Stop calling it a club.
160
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:20,168
He DJs at a supermarket,
161
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,419
which is the lamest thing
I've ever seen,
162
00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:25,842
not counting the time you tried
to bring back the phrase,
163
00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,173
"Oh, no, you didn't."
164
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,755
I'm surprised at you.
165
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,933
What if I judged you
for some of your jobs?
166
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,101
Bar-back slash
captain of a shrimp boat
167
00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:38,345
in the Gulf of Mexico
isn't the bomb?
168
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,726
What about when you worked
at the Gap?
169
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,937
Who told you about the Gap?
170
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,780
You, that time you were drunk,
folding a sweater
171
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,951
and you tried to help me spring
into summer with cargo shorts.
172
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:56,953
Fine. I fell into the Gap.
I needed the money.
173
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,210
Maybe Sebastian
needs the money, too.
174
00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:01,249
Who?
175
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:04,042
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
176
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,168
And if you ever tell anyone
about the Gap,
177
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,924
you will have a gap
between your neck
178
00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:10,336
and where your head used to be.
179
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,971
Oh, no you didn't.
180
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:19,771
Hey, I wasn't sure
if it was too late to come by
181
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:23,774
but the Ouija board said,
"Go ahead, the girls are up."
182
00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:27,687
You use that?
183
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:30,355
The only spirit I listen to
is Two-Buck Chuck
184
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,355
and he mostly tells me
to take my top off.
185
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,528
Yeah, Ouija helps me
make all my big decisions.
186
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,946
Like coming to America,
187
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,785
adopting a Chinese orphan
188
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,543
and leaving a Chinese orphan
at the fire station.
189
00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:48,586
Those boards are creepy.
190
00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,052
You never know
what you're inviting in.
191
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,011
I mean,
what if we open a Hellmouth?
192
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:57,014
Come on, girls, look around.
I mean, you already have.
193
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,847
Okay, now shh.
Okay.
194
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,231
Ouija,
195
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:07,570
should I take Oleg back?
196
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,614
Yes?
197
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:19,328
Oh, now, see, that is creepy
because I was shoving it to no.
198
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,785
Do you want
to get back with him?
199
00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:25,831
Well, I'm torn.
200
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,750
And also,
I don't know what to do.
201
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,670
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)
202
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:35,891
Throw your hands in the air
Like you just don't kale
203
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,931
Max, I'm proud of you
for overlooking his job
204
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,635
and giving this guy a chance.
205
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,557
He's making a DJ face. I'm out.
206
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,783
Oh, my God, Dylan.
207
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:54,032
No, we can't leave now.
I just saw this girl
208
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:56,371
and she is the last person
I want to see.
209
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,907
-What is the problem?
-It's Hilary Waldare.
210
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:01,331
We went to Wharton together.
So competitive with me.
211
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,410
Loved it
when I lost all my money.
212
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,080
She even threw a party
to celebrate
213
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,134
and then had the nerve
to invite me.
214
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,166
Worst party ever, by the way.
215
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:14,842
Worse than being at a dance club
that has a price club?
216
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:18,144
Max Black in the house of grain.
217
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:22,676
And now he saw me.
218
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,232
Well, I'm gonna go hide
before she sees me.
219
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:27,479
I'll be in Tom's Shoes.
Nobody's ever over there.
220
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:35,202
I'm bustin' out some free range
electronic dance music.
221
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:38,118
That's right.
I'm bringing it in my own bag.
222
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:41,282
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)
223
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,044
Okay, we good?
See you next Tuesday.
224
00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:46,328
Come on, stay.
What's your hurry?
225
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,249
I can't watch
any more people dance-shop.
226
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:52,455
Max, come on. Get in front
of me. See what you can do.
227
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:55,086
Oh, you're behind me this time.
That's new.
228
00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:58,759
All right, everybody, Frisee,
229
00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:02,304
'cause we got a special
guest DJ in the hizzay.
230
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:05,179
Who's so hot it's radicchio.
231
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,231
Go on.
232
00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:12,734
Bob, I'd like to bid $1.
$1, Bob, $1.
233
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:15,244
Have your pets spayed
or neutered.
234
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,148
Speaking of neutered pets,
here comes Han.
235
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,580
Still counts as a DJ shout-out.
236
00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:25,161
Hey, why wait until Tuesday?
237
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,035
Why don't I take a break
and we can go in the back.
238
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:28,461
I just need to find someone
to cover me.
239
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,002
Someone bogarted
all the nut butter.
240
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,841
How about half of someone?
241
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,635
-Can I help you, miss?
-Max?
242
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,096
What are you doing?
243
00:12:50,187 --> 00:12:51,647
I'm thirsty, broke,
244
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,520
and they cut me off
at the free lemonade.
245
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:54,900
What are you doing?
246
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:58,072
Well, two dudes were getting it
on in the family restroom, so...
247
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,405
-Where's Sebastian?
-Who?
248
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:03,702
Oh, milk.
Bottom shelf.
249
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,075
What's up?
250
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,672
You're not doing it
in the dairy case.
251
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:17,633
No, I'm not,
because you won't go away.
252
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,473
Do you have to ruin sex
everywhere?
253
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,257
Well, Max,
254
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:25,304
if I wasn't lactose intolerant
before, I am now.
255
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,845
Oh, my God, Caroline Channing.
256
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:33,981
Hi. It's Hilary Waldare.
257
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,573
-Oh, my God. Hi.
-Hi.
258
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:39,689
I haven't seen you
since your party.
259
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,948
Someone said you left crying.
How are you?
260
00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:46,160
I'm great. I mean,
I'm shopping at Whole Foods,
261
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,793
buying some organic fuel
262
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:51,208
that I'll probably take
a couple sips of in spin class
263
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:52,618
and then throw away, so...
264
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:56,000
Oh, good, because I heard
you were still poor
265
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:58,713
and that you were working
as a waitress.
266
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,722
A waitress?
267
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:02,881
That is insane.
268
00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:07,722
That is so insane it should be
in an ice tub in an asylum.
269
00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:10,352
I'm so glad you're great
270
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,643
because when I saw you in those
three-year-old Louboutins,
271
00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:15,307
I got worried.
272
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:18,355
Also, you have
an orange juice mustache.
273
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,030
-Where's Max?
-Milk.
274
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,537
-Max, listen...
-Busy.
275
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:35,751
Hilary's still here.
And she called me a waitress.
276
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,127
How dare her.
277
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:38,461
She humiliated me,
278
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,304
and I didn't even get a party
this time. I'm going home.
279
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:44,546
MANAGER: Hilary Waldare,
report to register three.
280
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:47,137
Oh, my God.
Did he just say...
281
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,310
MANAGER:
Hilary Waldare. Register three.
282
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:52,429
-He did. Oh, my God. Max.
-Busy.
283
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,654
What?
Do you wanna just join us?
284
00:14:56,730 --> 00:15:00,520
Hilary Waldare works here,
as a cashier.
285
00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:01,609
So I win.
286
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:04,242
Everyone knows
on the job humiliation chain,
287
00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:09,281
it goes: prostitute, hostess,
waitress, cashier,
288
00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:12,251
Princess Jasmine in the
Disney Electric Light Parade.
289
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:13,998
What happened
to not looking down
290
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:16,213
on other people
with crappy jobs?
291
00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,711
Oh, please, this is real.
292
00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,253
Now if you'll excuse me,
293
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:22,956
I have got $14 burning
a second hole in my pocket
294
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:25,378
and I'm gonna spend it here
at register three.
295
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,846
(SEBASTIAN MOANING)
296
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,224
SEBASTIAN:
Whoo!
297
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,811
What, you couldn't wait for me?
298
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,817
(RECORD SCRATCHING)
299
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,360
This goes out to Kelly
in prepared foods.
300
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,027
The Kelly with the cystic acne,
301
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,075
not the Kelly
with the bald spot.
302
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:55,039
Now, where my Adele-heads at?
303
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,379
(KNOCKING COIN ROLL)
304
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,167
I'm glad you have no line,
305
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,670
because I have an exclusive
private yoga class to get to--
306
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,254
Oh, Hilary.
307
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:07,800
Yes, Caroline.
I am a cashier.
308
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:10,472
I'm sorry, a what?
309
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:11,932
I'm a cashier.
310
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,676
Yeah, turns out things
aren't great.
311
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,352
My husband left me for my dad.
312
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,730
And they didn't even cut me in
on the Lifetime movie rights.
313
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:25,108
It's on in January.
Father is the Bride.
314
00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:28,318
Let me just weigh your salad.
315
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:31,321
Well, I'm sure you'll pull
yourself together like I did.
316
00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:33,528
Because I'm kind of killing it,
life-wise.
317
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,162
That'll be $28.
318
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,669
There's only $14 here.
319
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,843
$28 for a salad?
320
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,674
Well, that's dinosaur kale.
321
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:49,585
Oh, mistake.
Didn't want the Dinosaur kale.
322
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,054
Never liked dinosaurs
323
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,049
and really don't like them
in my kale.
324
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,434
Dinosaur kale gone.
325
00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:57,889
You're just putting it
on the counter?
326
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,685
Oh, I don't usually shop
for myself.
327
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,225
Is that not how it's done?
328
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,737
Caroline, do you not have
enough money?
329
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:14,124
No, Hilary, I have enough money.
330
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:19,292
I just don't know
why I have so many eggs.
331
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:25,634
Here.
You're holding up the line.
332
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,511
You obviously
don't have enough money
333
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:30,718
to pay for your salad.
Sad.
334
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,719
I don't know
what you're implying.
335
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:37,221
Here is my very successful
business partner.
336
00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:39,517
Sorry, it took so long.
I couldn't find my pants.
337
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:43,101
I don't know how they made it
all the way to the loading dock.
338
00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:46,151
Face it, Caroline,
you came here to humiliate me
339
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,031
and you can't even afford
that egg.
340
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:49,362
On your face.
341
00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:54,782
Miss, did you drop
this $20 bill?
342
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,414
Yes. Yes, I did.
343
00:17:58,036 --> 00:18:01,036
-I dropped some money, too.
-Don't push it.
344
00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:04,384
Thank you, sir.
This is very kind of you
345
00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:05,839
and I really appreciate it.
346
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:07,956
Anything
for my favorite waitress.
347
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,506
Oh, I knew you were a waitress.
348
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,604
Your store sucks.
349
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,806
I just had sex
in your dairy department.
350
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:21,929
Keep the change.
351
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:24,348
And buy your dad-husband
a wedding gift.
352
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,912
Okay, one more time.
353
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,906
Ouija, should I be with Oleg?
354
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:44,619
15 out of 15 yeses.
That's still unclear.
355
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:47,672
Sophie, this is silly.
356
00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:49,881
You know you two
wanna get back together.
357
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:53,302
Caroline, we already have
the Ouija board.
358
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,089
We don't need another thing
around here
359
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,715
that's flat
and wrong all the time.
360
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:02,101
Fine. Sophie, if it's not me,
361
00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:04,392
after all I've offered you, go.
362
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:08,399
Ask the spirits who the man
you are supposed to be with is.
363
00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:14,283
Ouija, please spell out
the name of the man
364
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:16,452
that I'm supposed to be with.
365
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,115
Oh, look, it's moving.
366
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:26,668
V, A, N...
367
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:28,749
This is what the world
was like before the internet.
368
00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:33,171
...K, O.
369
00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:35,547
Vanko.
370
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,433
Vanko? Yeah, that sounds cute.
371
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,474
Yeah, I like it.
372
00:19:39,554 --> 00:19:42,104
I'm sorry, Oleg.
The spirits have spoken.
373
00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:44,765
I'm supposed to be
with someone named "Vanko."
374
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,393
And they know the best.
375
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:50,864
So you're supposed to be
with someone named "Vanko"?
376
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:02,163
"Vanko Oleg Golishevsky"?
377
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,660
I go by my middle name
378
00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:10,419
because there were seven
other Vankos in my family.
379
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:15,796
But I didn't even know that.
380
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:19,593
Yeah, that means the Ouija is...
381
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:23,805
Oh, ah...
382
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,183
Yeah.
383
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,597
Oh, no, no, Vanko.
384
00:20:28,685 --> 00:20:31,605
No. I-- No. I-- We can--
385
00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,609
You and I
can get back together, okay?
386
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:36,691
But I just can't be here
right now.
387
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,568
No, I mean,
this is just too damn spooky.
388
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,155
(SHRIEKS)
389
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:46,542
I can't wait to tell my brothers
Vanko and Vanko about this.
390
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:50,829
Ah, ah, ah.
391
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,920
Word on the street is,
392
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:56,511
you've been talking
some smack about cashiers.
393
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,599
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)
394
00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:12,357
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
395
00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:29,869
(English US - SDH)
396
00:21:29,919 --> 00:21:34,469
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
29132
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.