Original subtitles

Because I met Keira, I wanted to marry her.

That made me the happiest man in the world!

Did I miss you telling me you're the first husband of Katie?

His name is Conrad Lennox. Arrest records in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Our suspects were there just a few weeks ago.

Vegas, baby! Whoo!

A bloke said you've been up to your old tricks.

Getting married, killing a family of fucking plutocrats.

Trust me.

No, wait, Katie! Katie!

Where is she?

Oh, my God, I never thought I'd be glad to see you guys!

You're very much under-a-fucking-rrest.

Hey. Hey, are you okay?

I'm sound, mate. Okay. Come on, sit down.

Took a bit too much stuff, that's all. Yeah, of course.

I appreciate the concern, though. I do.

I suppose I was just nervous. What about?

I've got a little girl. Back home, yeah.

Here, look. Yeah, she's cute.

All I want is for her to be safe.

Yeah, of course. Yeah.

I just, uh...

Christ. I need the money. That's all.

What money?

I'm sorry, mate.

Oh, shit!

Help.

Thank you.

You all right, mate? Making friends already?

Come on.

I am telling you, a man in my cell just tried to kill me!

And I'm telling you that I don't believe you.

There's a lot of nutcases in police stations.

Besides the officers, I mean.

Okay, but look. It was like he didn't want to.

He kept mentioning money.

Why would he say that if somebody was making him?

I had an auntie who said that her cat was making her quit table tennis.

Mad people are just mad, Stefan. Oh, my God.

Look, every minute we waste here, Katie is getting further and further away.

I told you, I don't know any--

Leila. Hi.

Please ask this woman to leave. I will be representing myself.

What's the Police and Criminal Evidences Act of 1984?

Do not know. I'll be representing him.

She will, yeah.

But let the record show that I'm extremely pissed off.

They told you I called.

So you're aware I saved your life.

You accidentally saved my life.

You coincidentally saved my life, when you turned me in.

Turning you in? Oh, for God's sake.

All right, yeah. Come on, then.

Should I ask them to just pop you back in there?

Stick you in a warehouse with an actual murderer,

and just leave you to it? That's what Katie did, isn't it?

Well, it's time to start talking now, Stefan.

She's not worth this.

I know.

Good, thank you. So let's start again.

How long have you really known Katie McConnell?

I don't think I ever really knew her.

I feel like I really know you. Oh, yeah?

Tell me you know me.

I really know you.

I like it.

It's just nice to see you in something that isn't completely terrible.

Well, I mean, I am the best man.

And Anil said that my old suit made me look like a child

dressed like a packet of crisps.

So, yeah. Well.

Hey, here's a question. Mmm.

How come we never have sex in a bed?

What are we, married?

What time's the wedding? Uh, three o'clock.

So we've got time to hang out, grab a coffee, build a life together.

I'm 51% joking.

How's the speech?

Yeah, pretty good.

Okay.

Pretty bad, yeah. Really, really bad.

Just remember, you're at your friend's wedding.

They're on your side.

Speak from the heart, don't talk about sex, and you'll be great.

Any moron can do it. Thank you?

You are very welcome.

Hey, um, I just...

I was serious earlier.

Not just about wanting to have sex in a bed... but about us.

You know, we've been doing this a couple of months now, and...

I just think since Vegas, I just...

I don't think you should get married.

And I was being serious, too. This really does suit you.

You need to listen to me. I am getting married.

That's happening, okay?

Hey, look on the bright side.

Divorce rates are pretty high.

Hey, you should, um...

you should come by later,

for the wedding. Oh?

Yeah, I mean, no one will mind, you know, they'll all be hammered.

That's one flattering invitation. I'm gonna think about that.

See, look. The thing about relationships is,

it's not all about you anymore. It's about you.

The second time I'm saying you plural.

Look, Jackson, you've had a boyfriend for what?

One month? Um...

Which I believe is a record, by almost a month.

Why are you giving me relationship advice?

I'm just saying, I was nervous, like you.

But now, me and Sash, we... we do everything together.

He's constantly round my flat.

Which is... it is great.

How is this helping me?

What's Jackson helping you with? Oh, nothing.

I'm just having a complete breakdown, it's fine.

Where have you been? Oh, wait.

It's an important day for one of your best friends.

So let me guess. Las Vegas?

Okay. There's only so many times I can apologize for that.

But, yeah, okay. I was with Katie. Sorry.

I remember my shagging days.

All behind me now, of course.

Ignore him. Yeah. Always do. What's wrong?

Well, you know, when Leila told me to take over all the wedding stuff--

Because you're insane and would have done it anyway.

Well, I think I might have gone a tad overboard.

No, really. You? I started thinking of little details.

You know, things that might make her laugh or smile,

then I thought about more and more,

and well, I think it might be a bit busy, conceptually.

I think it might be a bit shit. Like, really shit.

What if she doesn't turn up?

How will she know it's shit if she doesn't turn up?

Well, there's my silver lining.

Stef, you've got a lot of making up to do, mate.

A lot riding on that speech. Well, that's why I made it so good.

Oh? Well, great. Great, great.

Uh, here are the rings. Got it.

Uh, can we go and grab some breakfast or something?

I'm going crazy here. Yeah, you know, I'll meet you there.

I'm just gonna make a couple of tweaks to the speech.

Yeah, fine. Yeah.

Shit.

"Well, well, well, well, well."

"Well, well, well, well, well. Anil and Leila..."

There's too many wells.

Fine. "Well, well, well. We..."

No, three sounds evil.

Um...

Just...

"Well, well, welcome"? Fuck me. Jesus Christ.

Hey! Hey!

Hello, mate. Hugo.

What's this then? Nothing.

"Nothing."

Come on. Give it here.

Let's have a little read. Yeah.

Lot of "wells", mate.

Yeah, I was gonna cut it down. Oh.

Well, I could absolutely help with that. We can cut this piece.

No! Please-- We'll lose that. Lose that.

There you go. That's a start.

Why did you do that?

Well, you've been spending a lot of time with my fiancée, mate.

Why is that? We're just friends.

Oh, I know.

I don't think you're fucking.

That's hilarious. That's hilarious to even... to even think that.

No. All the same, I don't especially enjoy the optics of it.

You sneaking around together.

You hobbling around after her with your little fucking erection and...

Yeah, shopping for suits and all that, no.

People talk.

Do they or were you spying on her?

Spying? It's not spying on someone to keep an eye on them from a distance.

That's exactly what spying is. You're an embarrassment, mate.

Okay. To Katie, to me.

Do you have any idea who I am?

What my family is? And what...

What even... What is... What are you?

Uh, I'm a doctor. You see? Nothing.

So listen, I'm not saying stay away from her.

But you better fucking stay away from her.

Am I understood?

Can I please go?

Well, that depends on if I'm understood or not.

You're understood, okay?

Actually... Bruce, would you mind?

Christ. You've really taken a kicking for this woman.

Okay.

Okay, so... so here's where I'm all mixed up.

Why would Hugo have a private security team all to himself?

I mean, the Delaney's are rich, but that still doesn't explain why--

Here's an idea. Maybe we do some of the police work

when we're not in the room with a lead suspect?

No, I'm just saying...

that it's weird, that's all.

Who is this bodyguard?

Hang on, don't go anywhere.

Okay.

Hey, how's he doing?

Yeah, incredibly badly.

Oh, great, that's better than we thought.

Listen, do you guys remember at Connor's wedding? There was that guy?

We just did hand stuff.

Okay, that's very much not what I was asking.

No, listen. The police want to know about that big guy that was there.

Really tall, like, hanging out with the Delaney's.

Kind of scary-looking, shaved head.

I can't find him on this wedding hashtag, but I was just thinking,

Suji, didn't you have a thing with the photographer?

What? No, no, no.

I mean, yeah. But... w... why?

Okay, look, it could be nothing, but it could really help Stefan

if she got a picture of him.

Help him.

Sorry. Is it absolutely unavoidable?

I mean, um...

Okay, I may have... may have not responded

to a couple of her texts. Or...

or calls or any of them.

I-- You fucking fuckboi!

Okay. Helpful.

Oh, no.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

I'm so sorry. Can I borrow your phone?

Fuck! Does he think there's something going on between with us?

There is!

Jesus, you didn't have anything else?

Great. This is going to ruin everything.

Thanks. Fuck.

Fuck!

He ripped up my speech, he took my suit, the rings are in the suit.

Can you get me to Hugo? Do you know where he is?

I really can't be seen helping you.

Besides, I have somewhere I need to be. So do I!

Anil's wedding is in two hours!

I... I already bailed on his stag do. I can't fuck up the wedding.

Please, please, please. Can you...

I need to get the rings back, at least.

And you're sure she didn't tell you where she was going?

No, she just kept saying it was important and I was fucking things up. Again.

Which felt great, obviously.

Why do you care so much about this one day?

Shouldn't you be more interested in all of the people

shooting at us yesterday? Here's what we know about yesterday.

You and Katie went to visit Uncle Fred. Then you left. Now he's dead.

Now we can tie her to the scene. We don't want you, Stefan. We want her.

I told you, it wasn't us. It wasn't even her!

No, it was the Pest Control people.

They turned up, they killed Uncle Fred,

and they chased you round the highlands without anybody else seeing them.

It's not my fault only four people live in Scotland.

Wind your neck in.

I'm sorry. Listen, Stefan.

I want to believe you. I do.

But you're gonna have to start being straight with us.

So what if he is, you know, being straight with us?

What, she didn't kill him covertly.

See, this is why you're never promoted.

You're so gullible.

It's not gullible to weigh up all the options.

There's not a week goes by where I don't walk into a pet shop

and have a good browse around all the snakes...

but have I ever actually bought one?

Yeah.

Twice.

Big ones.

You have two big snakes? Had.

Point is...

now that Uncle Fred has became Uncle Dead, no fucker knows

who's gonna inherit all this Delaney money.

Definitely don't say Uncle Dead again.

So why would she bother killing him?

It's not like the money's going to her.

Look...

you always see the good in people.

It's one of your better qualities.

But, James...

sometimes there just isn't any.

I like it when you call me James.

I know there's more to this. No, you hope there is.

The search radius is expanding every minute.

She could be anywhere by morning.

We do not have time for other theories right now.

Katie is what the bosses want, she's what the press wants.

This is our girl.

Yeah, yeah. Perfect.

And do you wanna do any silly ones?

Is there anything in particular you'd like?

Yes. I would like to, and this obviously isn't weird,

to dress them like crabs.

Uh, can you just give me a moment?

Yeah.

I'm with clients. Yeah, I just need one minute,

and then I'm gone, okay? If you want that.

Is that my... Yes... Yes, okay.

I'm sorry. I suck.

You weren't picking up. I tried texting half the time, but okay.

Um...

Could we...

Could we please just take a look at those pictures?

You ghosted me for weeks...

and now you turn up asking for a favor.

Granted, it's not amazing behavior.

But our friend's in a lot of trouble and we could really use some help.

It's just this one guy we can't find and I mean,

you took pictures of everyone coming into that wedding, so you know...

This really is a last resort, I wouldn't--

I'm flattered.

Sock it. Okay.

We had a great time. We had a great time, okay?

And you make me smile a lot, and I wanted to call every day.

And the sex was like, honestly, I saw God.

But you didn't call.

What I mean is, I've never had anything like this... before.

This... This thing where I actually like you.

Um, and the next day, I still liked you.

And the day after that and then I, you know, I freaked out a little bit,

so I was like, "Ooh."

Yeah, like, what if this thing that I've been wanting for so long

has actually arrived.

And if I admit that I want this...

You know, what if you... what if you bail?

You know, what if you do a Suji.

And, um, so I did a Suji first because...

because I'm... Suji.

You saw God? I did.

I've said that, now can you just shut up, Jackson, for a second.

Please, can I make fun of you? No!

Please! Zip it! Just...

So if it's all right with you,

I would really like to answer your phone calls now.

Okay.

In the meantime, please, can we take a look at those pictures?

Oh, now I'm afraid they just look silly.

Okay, so the two of you just break into Hugo Delaney's house?

Actually, we don't.

We're here.

Why does he live in a Scandinavian prison?

Stay down. Sorry.

How do you even know he still has your stuff?

I don't, but what's the alternative? Katie, I need those rings.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There shouldn't be anyone around right now because Man City are playing

and Hugo will be in his private box.

Wait, wait, wait, you're not coming with?

No, I'm not coming with.

You thought I was gonna waltz into my fiancé's house with my sidepiece?

Look at you. Look at your face.

Hmm...

Okay. You're on.

Okay.

Yes.

Shit!

I'll be doing his fucking laundry next.

Look at the state of this piece of shit...

Fuck it.

Stay.

Clothes fucking drier.

Jesus Christ.

Fuck.

What do you think you're doing?

Hello? Can you...

Hello?

Can you hear me? This fucking Bluetooth.

I'm putting you on speaker phone, right? Okay.

I thought you were at the game?

Oh, they're away today.

And you're avoiding my question. What... What are you doing with that Stefan chap?

I mean, are you with him now?

Of course not. I'm meeting a friend.

Listen, you have nothing to be jealous about with him.

Trust me.

Jealous? I'm not... I'm not jealous!

But you have to understand that you're not a nobody anymore.

I'm sorry, I mean... What I mean is, it's not just your reputation on the line

when you go out and embarrass yourself.

You're just not acting like a Delaney... yet.

You're right. I'll try to do better.

Listen, I'm sorry. Mushy, I didn't want to tell you this

because I thought it would freak you out...

Mojito. Mojito. ...but, I don't know.

This guy, Stefan... Mojito now. Thank you.

Yeah. ...he's obsessed with me.

I don't know where it comes from, maybe he's sick in the head.

I have told him that I don't wanna be with him

but he just doesn't get it.

Maybe it's an orphan thing.

You just latch on to people whether they want you to or not.

Classic orphans.

No.

Scrappy, no! You fucking idiot! Bruce, what the fuck?

What? Were you listening?

I... I barely got out of there by the skin of my teeth.

Yeah, yeah, I got it, you're a hero.

Do you know where she was? While you were going through all of that?

Do you know why she couldn't help you?

Because she doesn't care about me? Well, there could be two reasons.

The other is this.

This was taken from the restaurant at Delaney Plaza.

Around the same time you say you were at the Delaney house.

Do you recognize the woman she's sat with?

Um, no, I... I don't think so.

I'm telling the truth.

So she turns up at Delaney Plaza at midday.

Before she goes in, she gets a call from you.

She drives around Manchester just to taxi you seven miles up the road.

Then drives back, calling Hugo Delaney from the car, and then finally...

has a nice lunch with this mystery lady?

Even if you weren't involved, you must have some idea what she's up to.

I... don't know. I don't know what she's doing.

Nothing wrong with loving a snake, pal. Take it from me.

You don't wanna take your eyes off 'em.

And after that? Did she go to the wedding?

Oh, my God. Where is he?

Fuck, he's such a moron.

It's okay. It's totally fine, I'm here now.

No, not you, you fucking idiot. Anil.

Stefan, what happened to your face? Wha... Oh.

You should see the other guy. He's fine.

Where's Anil?

He was freaking out more and more all day. Then he said he was gonna go to the toilet

but when I went to check... I... I don't know where he's gone.

I think I do.

Can I have one? Haven't eaten all day.

One.

I think I've fucked up my wedding.

Well, you haven't gone to it, so that's points against you.

She placed her trust in me.

Leila placed her trust in me, to give her the wedding of her dreams.

I don't think she actually did that, pal.

Do you know why I wanted to do it all? Because when I honestly think about it...

I'm not good enough for her.

And I thought that if I could at least nail the wedding...

I can make up for it.

And that's what this is.

It's disgusting is what it is.

I'm kind of with her.

It's a fucking swimming pool! I know, mate.

Why have I put my wedding in a swimming pool?

I don't know. Why is the starter Alphabetti Spaghetti?

Why do all the waiters have tiny top hats on?

I don't even remember what that's a reference to! Oh.

I don't know, but you have done all of those things.

And a lot of other weird, strange things.

And a lot of it, I don't think Leila's gonna like.

Well, this isn't helping. But all of it, I think she's gonna love.

Because her dumb boyfriend did it. Fiancé.

See, that's promising.

Look...

How does Leila make you feel?

Does she make you happy?

Could she do anything to disappoint you?

No, she makes me so happy.

All the time.

I can't imagine what her disappointing me would even be.

I don't think that's possible.

I think that's all that matters. Everything else is just noise.

Hey, how's it going with Katie?

Oh. I don't want to talk about it.

It shouldn't be like that, you know?

Not at the start.

It should be fun.

I just want one more. No! God, no.

Just one more bite. Come on. Come on.

God, you really smell like chlorine.

Yeah.

It's where we first met. Doing swimming lessons.

Yeah, I think you were right to be nervous.

This is quite a bad idea.

Ready?

Oh, good God.

Oh, wow.

Fuck.

Guys, look. There she is.

Oh, Jesus

I'm gonna marry her.

I know, pal.

I think I'm gonna do a cry. I know, pal.

Thank you.

For being there for him, stopping him making a stupid mistake.

You really are a good friend, actually. You, too.

And you were right about Katie.

I idealized it like I always do

and started chasing something that wasn't there...

and I should've just trusted you.

All of these things are true.

So you didn't see her again that day?

Hey, handsome. Can we talk?

Not now, Katie.

I just wanted to tell you that--

And now, the moment we've all been waiting for,

the one thing that could still go terribly wrong

and ruin the whole day, no pressure.

Put your hands together for my best mate, my best man.

Stefan. Good luck.

Well...

I've known what I wanted to say here for the longest time.

I knew it a month ago.

I knew it a week ago. I knew it this morning.

And, uh, now that I'm standing here, I...

I really don't.

It all feels redundant.

You don't need me to tell you any of the things that I might say.

How these two feel about each other.

How right this all is.

Because you can see it for yourselves.

You always can when it's the real thing.

And when it's not.

I've been thinking about how hard it is to love someone.

How they can make it impossible.

But today, someone told me that it shouldn't be like that.

And I guess I never thought it could be any other way.

That it wasn't something that you have to constantly fight for.

And hurt and cry and feel like you're...

nothing.

And then suddenly, poof, you're rewarded. And it all works out.

And they say they're sorry and that it was you

and they knew it all along, and even though they let you down,

and put anything and everything ahead of you...

And then...

I look at Anil and Leila.

And it's so easy.

You know how I know it's easy? Because...

Anil basically did every single thing wrong today.

And look at Leila, she loves him anyway.

I mean, we're sitting in a swimming pool.

And I think we're eating cheese on toast.

And Leila faces on all the napkins.

No one person would make so many poor decisions in the name of love.

And they all worked out.

Because if they hadn't...

then it wouldn't be love.

So it is my genuine honor to invite you all to join me in a toast...

my friends, Leila and Anil.

Did you see the Dino biscuits? Yup.

And the plates from that Mexican place you love?

Anil. My husband. I saw it all.

What about the song?

Yup, you knew it's my all-time fave. Mm-hmm.

You probably didn't know I lost my virginity to it.

I guess you can't prepare for everything.

You look... less happy to see me than usual.

I guess I just latch on to people. Whether they want me to or not.

You weren't supposed to hear that. Yeah, but you see, I did though.

While I was hiding for my life, so thanks for that, too.

I didn't wanna bail, I just...

I told you, I had something that I really needed to do.

And I really needed you.

I nearly got the shit kicked out of me,

and more importantly, I could have missed this.

I could've let Anil, Leila, everyone down.

Because of you.

I don't know what you want from me.

I do.

For the first time, I do.

I want you to go.

It's all right, pal.

Yeah? Yeah.

Thanks. It's okay.

Can I give my client a hug?

If you don't, I will.

Hey, come here.

Hey, it's okay. Yeah? Yeah.

You did the right thing.

Okay? You're doing the right thing. Yeah, I'm okay.

I didn't see her after that.

Not until her wedding day.

The truth is, I, uh... only showed up

because she sent me a voice message that morning.

I'm a twat because I thought that she was having doubts.

I couldn't go through with it, so, um...

I obviously thought that she wanted me instead.

Which, um... she didn't.

So why did she call you that morning?

Why does she do anything?

I don't know. Maybe...

Maybe it had something to do

with those guys in the vans that you don't believe exist?

Actually...

you might be right.

Is it fucking Groundhog Day?

We just cross-referenced those photos that your mates sent us.

They're looking out for you, Stefan, even if you're not.

You might wanna thank them for that some day. Is this your guy?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Bruce Anderson doesn't work for the Delaney organization.

Interpol says he has arrest records all over Europe

but nothing seems to stick.

And he's made some... insanely high bails over the years.

Fuck me. That is high.

Well.

The bad news is we've got some homework to do.

But the good news is... I think we're about done for the moment.

It's not like we're gonna catch her tonight.

Hey.

Listen, I couldn't say anything up there.

That Bruce guy, the people he works for...

I think you might be on to something. We need to move you right now.

Okay. Okay.

Sorry, it's a little smaller, but no one knows you're in it.

There will be a more permanent solution soon.

I understand you're very depressed at the moment.

I'll make sure the reports make mention of that.

What do you mean?

If that junkie'd got the job done...

we wouldn't be here.

But knowing what you know, well...

I'm sorry.

I actually am.

Hey. Hey!